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00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,044
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,479
NARRATOR: Welcome
to Elmer Fudd's
literary classics.
3
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,690
Hello, I'm your host,
Elmer Fudd.
4
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,651
Today's story is
about a young orphan
named CinderPorker
5
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,529
ELMER: who was adopted by
a family of rich cats.
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00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:32,282
CinderPorker, what
do you think
you're doing?
7
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,117
(STAMMERING)
Hello, Stepfather.
8
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,454
I was just scrubbing
all the spilled cream
off the floor.
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00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,456
I spilled it
there on
purpose.
10
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,000
It makes it
easier to drink.
11
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,460
(SLURPING)
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00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,295
Knock it off.
13
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,796
You're
aristocats.
14
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,798
You don't
drink cream
off the ground.
15
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,468
You drink it from
a cup with your
pinky extended.
16
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,844
Like this.
17
00:00:52,927 --> 00:00:54,137
(SPLASHES)
18
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,346
(SLURPING)
19
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,973
Numskulls.
20
00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:59,309
And you, you're
supposed to be
cleaning the toilets
21
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,145
and washing
clogged sweat
socks.
22
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,981
And picking
the fleas
off my butt.
23
00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:06,232
Here.
24
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,400
Ugh, okay.
25
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,985
I will
work faster.
26
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:10,653
Well,
see that
you do.
27
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,156
And in the
meantime, it's
time for us
28
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,366
to take
our afternoon
snoo-tea break.
29
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,660
Who wants
a spicy tuna
roll, huh?
30
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,162
I do, I do,
I do!
31
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,371
(WHOOSHES)
32
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:22,040
(SIGHS GRIMLY)
33
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,001
Oh, well, Tree.
34
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:28,004
You're the only one
who doesn't have
chores for me to do.
35
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:30,215
Well, actually,
my upper branches
36
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,925
could use
a little trimming.
37
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:33,051
Even you?
38
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:34,177
(LAUGHING)
39
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,221
- I'm just kidding.
-(LAUGHING)
40
00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:38,848
Oh, Tree.
You're my
best friend.
41
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,892
I'll always
be your
best friend.
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00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:42,352
I have
no choice.
43
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,270
I'm rooted
to the ground.
44
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,855
Stuck here.
45
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,399
♪ Oh, tree
You're my very
best friend
46
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:51,778
♪ I know you'll
always stick with me
Till the end
47
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:54,656
♪ You turn my tears
Into a chuckle
48
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:57,700
♪ I sit on your branches
And they don't bite
49
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,745
♪ 'Cause you got me
Cooking with gas
50
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,414
♪ Hey, what's up
With this rash? ♪
51
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,459
How many times do
I have to tell you
I'm a poison oak?
52
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:07,877
-(CINDERPORKER SCREAMS)
-(THUDS)
53
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,421
Lotion!
I need lotion!
54
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:11,714
(SCREAMING)
55
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,259
Poison oak.
Never kept it
a secret.
56
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,511
ELMER: Meanwhile,
at the royal palace,
57
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:20,473
King Thes was trying to
find his daughter, Petunia,
a husband.
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00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:24,143
My daughter, three
suitors have come
to the kingdom
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00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,229
seeking your hand
in marriage.
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00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,649
Are you ready to hear
their declarations
of love?
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00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:32,360
I told you
I don't wanna
meet anybody.
62
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:33,736
That's
the spirit!
63
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,030
Bring in
the first
suitor.
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00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,032
I say,
I say,
Petunia.
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00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:41,035
Shall I compare
thee to a summer's
day?
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00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:42,996
Of course,
now that I
think about it,
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00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:45,707
on a summer's day,
I get kind of sweaty.
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00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:46,916
(SNIFFS)
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00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,001
(RETCHING)
70
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,587
Oh, mercy me,
I stink!
71
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,463
FOGHORN: It smells
like garlic.
72
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:53,882
(FOGHORN SNIFFS)
73
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,676
FOGHORN: Reminds
me of mommy's
minestrone.
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00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:57,844
Next!
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00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:03,099
♪ Petunia!
I want to marry you!
76
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:06,853
♪ I'm kinda out of options
So I guess you'll do ♪
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00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:08,938
(SCREAMING)
78
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,107
Next.
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00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:15,361
Petunia, if you marry
me, you won't have to
do any housework,
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00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,364
because I built
the Immacubot 9000.
81
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,616
Allow me to
demonstrate.
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00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,200
(YELPS)
83
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,619
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)
84
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,121
(EXCLAIMING IN AGONY)
85
00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:27,957
I'd go with the
guy who smells
like garlic.
86
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,709
I'm notmarrying any of them.
87
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,003
First off,
they're all
goofballs.
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00:03:32,086 --> 00:03:36,049
Second, they
can't keep up
with me.
89
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,968
♪ I love to
eat peanut butter
with my hands
90
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,846
♪ I play guitar
In my one-man band
91
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,474
♪ I ride down Everest
on just one ski
92
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,643
♪ But I drive
my sports car at 103
93
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:49,479
♪ You can't keep up with me
♪ We can't keep up with she
94
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,690
♪ You can't keep up with me
♪ We can't keep up with she
95
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,318
♪ I can ace my calculus
With my feet
96
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,862
♪ And do the booty wiggle
to the disco beat
97
00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:00,823
♪ So if a man wants me
to wear his ring
98
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,159
♪ He's gotta be a dude
who does all these things
99
00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:05,995
♪ He's gotta keep up with me
♪ He's gotta keep up with she
100
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,082
♪ He's gotta keep up with me
♪ He's gotta keep up with she
101
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:13,503
♪ He's gotta keep up with me
102
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:19,467
♪ Because I'm
super savvy ♪
103
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,012
Well, I don't
care what
she wants,
104
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:26,140
I'm going to find
her a husband if
it kills me.
105
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:28,518
(EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)
106
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,354
Daddy, daddy!
Look at this!
107
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:35,274
"Princess Petunia
is single and looking
to mingle.
108
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,777
"All eligible
bachelors in
the kingdom
109
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,113
"are invited
to the palace
at 8:00 p.m."
110
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:43,157
That means the
princess is looking
for a prince!
111
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:44,784
Ooh!
112
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,036
I want
to be
a prince!
113
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,204
(MEWLING)
114
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:50,206
No, I want
to be
a prince!
115
00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:52,041
-(BOTH SNARLING)
- Knock it off!
116
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,043
Neither of you
are gonna be
a prince
117
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,005
if you don't
clean up
your act.
118
00:04:57,088 --> 00:05:00,258
Porky, I need you
to clean up these two
for the ball.
119
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,384
(FLEAS BUZZING)
120
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:03,720
I'll see
what I
can do.
121
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,558
Well, look
at you two.
122
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,143
You look
stupendous!
123
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,229
Let's get to that
ball before I marry
you myself.
124
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:15,857
Hold up. Where
do you think
you're going?
125
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:17,275
To the ball.
126
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:19,402
You? Go to
the ball?
127
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,571
(LAUGHING)
That's rich.
128
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,906
Yeah, you
can't go to
the ball.
129
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,035
You're covered
with garbage
and fish guts.
130
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,995
What? No I'm not!
131
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,080
You are now!
132
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,457
(LAUGHING)
133
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:36,169
Come on, boys.
We've got a
princess to woo.
134
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:37,253
Yeah.
135
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,469
Ugh, I guess
I'll never go
to the ball.
136
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,095
Welcome to
my world.
137
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,930
I can't
go anywhere.
138
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,974
DAFFY: What a
couple of sad sacks.
139
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,267
Who said that?
140
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,311
I did. I'm
your fairy
duck-mother.
141
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,938
I'm here to
help you go
to the ball.
142
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,273
Can I
go too?
143
00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:59,901
I'm his fairy
duck-mother.
Not yours.
144
00:05:59,984 --> 00:06:01,319
Oh, nuts.
145
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,613
First, I'll prepare
your door-to-door
transport
146
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,907
by turning
those mice
into horses,
147
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:08,284
and that rutabaga
into a carriage.
148
00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:11,370
(THUDS)
149
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,122
But these
are whales!
150
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,125
Okay, okay. Maybe
we should work
on your outfit first.
151
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,211
Orca bros,
let's do this.
152
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:21,756
- Five, six, seven, eight.
-(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
153
00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:23,674
♪ Make him pretty
Make him spiffy
154
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,134
♪ And let's do it in a jiffy
155
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,511
♪ First we wash him
head to toe
156
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,638
♪ Give his skin
a golden glow
157
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,766
♪ Give him fancy underpants
Wear this perfume
It's from France
158
00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:33,559
♪ Make him fit
the finest fabric
159
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:36,229
♪ Let's make sure
that it's a classic
160
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:39,440
♪ Give his face
a sparkling smile
And his head a cool hairstyle
161
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,902
♪ Add a pair of platform shoes
And throw in a fish or two
162
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,655
♪ Make him pretty
Make him spiffy
163
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,199
♪ In a jiffy ♪
164
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:49,826
(music stops)
165
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,328
Have a great time!
166
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:53,996
(WHALES GROANING)
167
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,957
(CREAKING)
168
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:01,587
Yeah, you know what?
I'm just gonna pop you
in a sports car.
169
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,216
(ENGINE REVVING)
170
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,051
(TIRES SCREECHING)
171
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:09,470
Well, well, well,
172
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,722
look at all
these potential
princes.
173
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:14,392
Father, I told
you I'm not
interested.
174
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:15,685
Hi, toots.
175
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,687
You're coming
with me.
176
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,523
(EXCLAIMS)
177
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,275
(WAILS)
178
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:26,654
(YELLS)
179
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,324
(CRASHING)
180
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:33,369
This is exactly why
I don't need a man--
181
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:35,037
- Hey!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
182
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:38,583
I get carried away
sometimes when I'm
disco dancing.
183
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,501
Did you say
disco dancing?
184
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,296
- Of course.
- Would you like to dance?
185
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:46,340
-(CHUCKLING) Sure.
-(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
186
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,217
Sorry if my hands
are sticky,
187
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,219
I eat peanut
butter out of
a jar.
188
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,762
So do I!
189
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,182
How did you get
to be such a great
disco dancer?
190
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,351
I just use
basic calculus.
191
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,769
You like
calculus?
192
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,021
I love
calculus.
193
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:01,731
My best friend
is an oak tree.
194
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,065
He checks
my work.
195
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:07,320
Oak tree?
My best friend
is a rock.
196
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,697
You're the most
incredible man
I've ever met.
197
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,157
Wait right here,
198
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:12,992
I'm going to
introduce you
to my father.
199
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:15,077
Hey, where did
my cool hairdo go?
200
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,955
DAFFY: Oh,
I forgot to
tell you.
201
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,958
The spell only
lasts like ten
minutes.
202
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,002
Who casts
a ten-minute
spell?
203
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,003
(SQUEALS)
204
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:25,254
Maybe get
out of here
205
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,964
before your magic
underwear goes poof.
206
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,299
(SQUEALING)
207
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:29,675
What? But...
208
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,093
Where is thatmysterious handsome prince
209
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,345
who was
standing here?
210
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:33,596
He had
to jet.
211
00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,514
Taquito?
212
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,807
(PANTING)
213
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,434
(YELLS)
214
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:41,062
PETUNIA: Wait!
We have so much
in common!
215
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:44,398
I have a whole
book of calculus
we can do.
216
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:46,817
(THUDS)
217
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,027
(SQUEAKING)
218
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,487
(PANTING)
219
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:50,571
(POOFS)
220
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,615
(SQUEALING)
221
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:56,369
Mysterious prince, wait!
222
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,912
I will only
marry the man
223
00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,790
who fits in
this goldfish
platform shoe.
224
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,208
I know
love is blind,
225
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,835
but did he have
to have such
bad taste?
226
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,754
We must
find him!
227
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,298
ELMER: So, the princess
and her father
228
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,634
went all around
the countryside
229
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,303
looking for whoever
would fit into the shoe.
230
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,013
After months of searching,
231
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,599
they came to the final house,
232
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,102
CinderPorker's house.
233
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,396
(STRAINING)
234
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:24,522
(TWANGING)
235
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:26,857
(MEOWS)
236
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,484
Don't eat
the shoe.
237
00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:30,319
Try on
the shoe.
238
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,196
(THUMPING)
239
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,368
I guess I'll
never find my
Prince Charming.
240
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,120
Hey, I haven't
tried it on yet.
241
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,080
Porky, it's not
gonna fit you.
242
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,916
You're just
a lowly
servant pig.
243
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,923
You're the man
I fell in love with
on the dance floor.
244
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:54,176
Porky, will you
marry me?
245
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,761
But, Petunia, I...
246
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,014
(STAMMERING)
247
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,641
(CONTINUES TO STAMMER)
248
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,234
All right,
let's move
this along.
249
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:16,866
♪ Petunia
You're my very best friend
250
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:21,287
♪ I know you'll always
stick with me till the end
251
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:26,625
♪ You're handsome and true
With you the world
seems so brand-new
252
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:33,382
♪ Because of you
I am now free
253
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:39,096
♪ Oh let's get married
by this tree ♪
254
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,391
I now pronounce you
pig and male pig.
255
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,435
You may kiss
the groom.
256
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,355
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
257
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,148
Still a
poison oak.
258
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:52,109
- Lotion!
- I need lotion!
259
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,654
ELMER: And so they lived
scratchily ever after.
260
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,908
Because long stories
are like taquitos.
261
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,452
The cheesier the better.
262
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,746
(CHUCKLING)
263
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,415
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
18664
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