Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

I always wanted a house in the hills.

I can see everything from up here.

The beautiful trees, the charming wildlife...

That army general brandishing a sword at me...

I'm Yosemite Sam, the roughrider.

The roughest, toughest hombre

ever to fight in this man's army.

And I'm declaring war on this here hill.

Well, I just bought this hill, see? The sign says, "Sold."

I don't care what the sign says.

I'm going to take this hill, and win the war for glory.

Glory? Who's Glory?

But if she's making you win a war,

she might not be that into you.

I'm not talking about no woman.

I'm talking about medals.

And statues made in my likeness.

Well, if they make a statue of you,

They're going to have to use a little extra cement.

Wise guy, huh?

You know what happens to wise guys? They get charged!

Charge!

(GRUNTS)

(MOANS)

-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) - Charge!

(PANTS)

(BREATHLESS) Charge!

Ow!

(GROANS)

Charge!

Ooh, A trick or treater!

Looks like someone's dressed up as a cowboy.

I'm a tough cowboy.

Well, that's nice.

Here's some candy, little cowboy.

Sam likes candy.

(GROANS)

That's what happens when you eat too many sweets.

You get a cavity.

Ooh, I'm going to get you, rabbit.

Catch it, I've put some mustard on it.

(GROANS)

Ooh, you crazy varmint!

You call that mustard?

Why, my grandmother could throw faster than that.

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

Time out, ump.

BUGS: All right, look kid.

We're not going to get out of this inning

unless you give me some of the high heat.

But I'm firing as fast as I can!

Yeah, but you gotta dig down deep.

You gotta throw the old Yosemite Sam screwball.

Yosemite Sam Screwball?

That's my best pitch!

Uh, how do I throw it, again?

Get in the cannon, I'll show you.

He ain't too bright.

(SAM GROANS)

Extra!

Junk-headed general shoots himself out of his own cannon!

What? Let me see that.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Wait a sec. Who are you?

Scoop Broadsheet, Muckraker Tribune.

A newspaper reporter?

Fantastic. Write an article about me

charging up the hill on my horse.

Here, borrow mine. It's got loads of horsepower.

Hey, that's great.

Charge!

(MOANS)

Extra! Clueless corporal blown up by his own horse!

Let me see that!

Hey, wait a goddarn minute.

Stop! Hold that pose.

This'll be a great shot for the front page.

Hang on, I need some more light.

Hold this. Now say, "I'm gonna explode."

I'm gonna ex...

Aw, shucks. You blinked.

I'm going to get that darn rabbit. Oof!

(MUFFLED) Tarnation! Where'd he go?

Ow!

My biscuits!

BUGS: Hey, pilgrim.

I hear you're a real rough rider.

Darn tooting, I am.

Well I'm the roughest, toughest rider around.

Hyah!

Beat that, sidewinder.

(HORSE NEIGHS)

Yeah? Well, watch this!

Hyah!

(ANGRY NEIGH)

(GROANS)

(STRAINED) I'm still the roughest rider.

Well, there's only one way to settle this.

Trick riding contest.

Great. I'll start.

Yee-haw!

(BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING)

Beat this!

BUGS: That's the best you can do?

SAM: Not even close.

The standard trot!

Jog trot!

English trot!

(SLURPS)

-(DRUM BEATS) - Fox trot!

-(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) - BUGS: Not bad... Cha-cha!

Waltz!

Tango!

Jitterbug!

Rumba!

Lambada! Oof.

No more horsing around.

I'm taking this hill.

(MILITARY VOICE) Oh, no, you're not.

Who are you?

I'm General Admission.

And I'm taking this hill.

Well, I'm Sam the roughrider,

and I'm taking this hill.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I'm taking this hill, and this dynamite!

Yeah?

Well, I'm taking this hill, this dynamite and this gunpowder!

Well, I'm taking this hill, this dynamite this gunpowder,

and these fireworks!

Well, I'm taking this hill, this dynamite this gunpowder,

these fireworks, and this five gallon jug of nitroglycerin!

Well,

(NORMAL VOICE) no sense in both of us going.

SAM: Ha ha! I'll be the winner.

Ain't I a stinker?

-(SIZZLING) - This hill's mine!

Oh.

I'm taking this mound.

(STRAINED) I'm taking this dirt pile.

(STRAINED) I'm taking this nap.

That's the funny thing about war.

You usually end up fighting over nothing.

Good thing I got that hill insurance.

(SINGS AND HUMS)

(HISSES)

(SHRIEKS)

Hey, you popped my tube.

What gives, old-timer?

I'm Red Omaha.

You're trespassing on my claim.

This here's my gold mine.

And you were trying to steal my gold.

Well, it's my gold.

I don't want your gold.

I got enough of my own.

Mighty impressive haul, young-timer.

Say, look at the clock.

It's time for a bean break.

(GOBBLING) Yee-haw!

This guys' off his rocker.

I'm in! Woo-hoo!

Goodness gracious. What is that awful noise, Mac?

Oh, my, Tosh.

It appears our delightful neighborhood

is being bombarded by a pair of looney ragamuffins.

Did I tell you I ripped out some of my teeth,

'cause they was trying to steal my gold?

Your teeth talk to you, too?

Mine speak French.

(WHOOPS) Let's go find some gold together.

(BOTH WHOOP)

Perhaps we should interfere.

This can't be good for the forest.

Let's just let them be, for now.

Better safe than sorry.

That's a capital idea.

- Thank you. - No, thank you!

No, no, thank you!

It's a good thing you're here.

You can pull up the bucket

after I fill it up with gold.

Happy to oblige.

(SHOUTS)

(BANG AND CRASH)

Are you okay down there?

(RED MUFFLED) Yeah. I landed on my head!

I'm almost afraid to watch.

But let's watch anyway, shall we?

Oh, yes. We shall, we shall.

Heads up.

(BANGS AND SHOUTS)

(MUFFLED) Yee-haw. Glad you said, "Heads up."

That way, I looked up right as the pickaxes came down.

No problem, pal.

Here's some shovels.

(CRASHES AND GROANS)

And here's some other stuff.

(CRASHES AND GROANS)

That help?

It's so dang dark down here.

Send down some light.

- Roger. - No, it's Red.

No, I was saying...

(SIGHS) Never mind.

Here comes the light.

Thank you.

How are we doing, old timer?

(MUFFLED) Good, I got a lot of gold.

I'm going to put it in the bucket,

And you bring her up.

Got it.

(GROWLS)

Hey, Red. You sent up a honey badger!

Just fill the bucket up with gold!

Ow! Got you.

Okay. Bring her up.

(GROWLS)

(CRASH)

Oh, my, Mac.

That duck is taking more of a beating

than a drum in a jazz band.

Oh, we should see some live jazz soon.

Oh, we should!

Okay.

I think you misunderstood me.

Just fill the bucket up with gold,

not an animal that wants to maul me.

Got it.

Oh, I'll be ready for you, this time.

Oh, hey, Red.

I thought you were going to be some big old animal...

(RED GROWLS)

(SCREAMS)

Bean break! (GOBBLES)

Oh, my. (GULPS)

I dare say, I'm losing my appetite.

And I dare say, I've heard of,

"Strapping on the old feed bag,"

but they're strapping on the old bean bag.

(GIGGLES) Too funny!

Okay. We're gonna use this dynamite to blast a hole

in the mountain,

and then the gold will come raining down.

Blow stuff up!

Oh, no. These two nincompoops have explosives!

I fear for the safety of the forest.

You are quite right.

We will be on high alert.

But first, how about some tea?

Don't mind if I do.

Okay, I'll take the dynamite over to the mountain.

Then, you push the plunger when I get back.

- Got it? - Got it.

What are you doing?

You said, "Push the plunger."

I said, "Push the plunger when I get back."

Okay?

Oh, okay. Got it.

What happened that time?

I got confused.

Repeat after me.

- Don't push.

- The plunger.

- Until I get back.

Wait. Where am I going?

Not you! Me!

Oh! Got it.

Aha! You were going to push that plunger, weren't you?

No I wasn't.

You know what?

Forget the dynamite.

We're gonna use gunpowder.

And this time, you're going to go over to the mountain.

Let's see how he likes it.

I think this would be a good time to leave.

Yes. Perhaps we should go see that live jazz band now.

Yes, lets.

I put the gunpowder in the mountain, just like we planned.

No, you didn't!

The gunpowder is sill in your back pocket!

Oh, no! That means I left my wallet over there.

I loved that wallet.

DAFFY: Huh, I guess it was a dud.

(BOTH SHOUTING)

(FAST PACED MUSIC PLAYING)

(BOTH YELL)

(BEAR GROWLS)

I have no idea how that just happened.

(BOTH YELL)

(SHOUTING)

Now, that was fun!

Yeah, let's do it again!

(BOTH GROAN)

That's gold!

We done struck gold.

Yee-haw!

DAFFY: We did it!

(BOTH WHOOP)

Let's celebrate with a bean break!

(GOBBLING)

I do have to say, the term "fool's gold,"

has never felt more appropriate.

(GIGGLING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)