Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISTLING)

(STOPS WHISTLING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, hello, stranger. (STUTTERING) I'm Porky.

(STUTTERING) And this is my homestead.

Well, I'm Renegade Sam.

I'm a nasty varmint.

Me and my gang are going to take over this entire frontier,

and open up a giant mini-mall.

(PORKY YELPS)

Adios, amigo!

(PORKY SCREAMS)

Now, I think that that there is a good spot for the frozen yogurt stand.

(PORKY WAILS)

(WITH A LISP) Hey! You nearly landed in my marshmallows.

(CONTINUES TO STUTTER) Thankfully I landed on these jagged rocks instead.

(CONTINUES TO LISP) Hey, why are you flying through the frontiers, anyway?

Well, I was just minding my own business when Renegade Sam just came up

and kicked me off my homestead.

Renegade Sam? That guy's a nasty varmint.

Yeah, that's what he said.

Now I got to try to get my land back.

You? You're just a simple homesteader.

You need a frontiersman. Someone who is tough and strong,

and knows the woods like the back of his hand.

You're right. I'd better go find one.

- Hey... Whoa! -(CLATTERING)

No! You've already found one.

I'm Daffy Crackpot!

(PLAYS A NOTE)

♪ Ooooo ♪

(BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Born on A welcome mat In Illinois ♪

♪ Muddiest state Full of girls and boys ♪

♪ Lucky his mama Didn't name him Roy ♪

♪ Grooming a bear's His greatest joy. ♪

♪ Daffy! Daffy Crackpot! ♪

♪ Flower of The great outdoors! ♪

Mr. Crackpot, I don't need a singer.

I need a frontiersman.

I am a frontiersman.

I'll prove it.

Everyone knows

a great frontiersman is a sharp shooting ace.

With my marshmallow shooter,

I can do all kinds of trick shots.

Look, I really have to get...

You see those random objects over there?

I am going to fire a marshmallow.

It will ricochet off each one of those objects.

And I'll catch it in my teeth.

Ready, aim, fire!

(GULPS AND CHOKES)

(COUGHS)

(CHOKES)

See?

Thanks for the show, Mr. Crackpot.

But I have to go find a real frontiersman...

I'm not done yet! See that bear over there?

DAFFY: I'll subdue it, single-handed.

Uh, how are you going to do that?

I'm going to groom it into submission.

You're going to groom it?

(CONFIDENTLY) Oh, yeah.

Frontiersman 101, baby.

Hey, bear.

(BEAR GRUNTS AND GROWLS)

Let's get you presentable.

(BEAR SPLUTTERS)

(BEAR GROWLS)

(DAFFY WHOOPS)

Just because you're a bear doesn't mean you have to look grizzly.

So, you want to do this the hard way, eh?

(SURPRISED GRUNT)

Let's get inside those incisors,

and behind those bicuspids.

(CONFUSED YELP)

See? This bear is so groomed.

Bokay?

(SCREAMS)

(MUFFLED) Oh, let me out!

Well, its getting late, and I'm sure the other frontiersmen

are probably taken by now.

All right, Mr. Crackpot.

(DAFFY SCREAMS)

- Can you help me fight Sam? - Now you're talking!

To the homestead!

(THUD)

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS)

Hey, we're back at my house.

But I don't see Sam anywhere.

Perfect! We'll set a trap for him.

What are you doing?

When Sam gets back, he'll think this package is for him.

DAFFY: This will be the gift that keeps on giving

DAFFY: punches to his face. Ha!

PORKY: Uh, did you poke some air holes in this box?

DAFFY: Air holes. Huh.

(DAFFY SCREAMING) Help, help me! I'm trapped in a box!

DAFFY: Please help, anybody!

(SIGHS) Anybody but you guys.

I, uh... Huh?

(GRUNTING)

SAM: Hey, pig.

I thought I already kicked you off of my land.

You stole it from him!

Yeah? And who in tarnation are you?

I'm Daffy Crackpot.

- Never heard of you. - Really?

Did you ever hear of a song...

♪ Born on A welcome mat In Illinois ♪

♪ Muddiest state... ♪

I hate it! That ditty done sticks in you brain like a tick on a sow!

Now, I'm sorry, fellas,

but you're standing in the way of progress.

I can see it all now.

A nail salon next to a karate dojo.

(PANTING)

Kiosks with personal massagers and cell phone cases.

(GRUNTS)

And coffee shops as far as the eye can see.

(GRUNTS AND SCREAMS)

(HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS)

Eat marshmallows, piggy!

(LAUGHS) D'oh!

No more mini mall!

(GUN CLICKS)

(REDEMPTIVE MUSIC PLAYS)

(SAM YELPS)

That all you got?

(YELPS AND MOANS)

We did it! We defeated Renegade Sam!

What a hero I am!

♪ Ooooo ♪

♪ Born in The deep woods Arkansas ♪

♪ Greatest frontiersman You ever saw ♪

♪ Always a pally To the gents One and all ♪

♪ When you're in trouble Just give him a call ♪

♪ Porky! Porky Pig! ♪

-♪ The gre... ♪ -(STUTTERS)

Ah, you know the rest.

VIKTOR: Style!

Image!

Couture!

Victor Fashion.

It is I, Viktor. Fashion icon and male model.

Today, I will unveil my new clothing line.

Skin stuff! Shiny stuff!

And poompy, furry, cuddly stuff!

(DRAMATICALLY) Viktor Fashion!

- Wow. - Amazing.

Tres chic.

My entire new clothing line is inspired by all things nature.

The water. The land.

Even the little woodland creatures were my influences.

There's my mailbox!

In fact, this stole is made from real rabbit fur.

Take a look, see.

(TEETH CHATTERING)

(BREATHILY) Fashion!

BUGS: Hey, buddy!

As if it weren't bad enough you kidnapped my mailbox,

you stole the fur right off the backs of those rabbits!

That doesn't belong to you.

All things fashion belong to Viktor.

Now, get away from the stage

before I make matching culottes with your fur, little bunny.

(BUGS GROANS)

Viktor just made a fashion faux pas.

So I'm going to make sure

he goes out of style.

VIKTOR: Don't run away. We'll be right back.

Welcome back. Now, you gaze upon my handsome.

(GERMAN ACCENT) Guten tag. I am here for the fashion shoot.

Where is the model?

I'm right here!

You? Oh, I guess they'll let anyone be a male model these days.

I am Viktor! The greatest male model of all time!

I can do any pose in the world!

Fine. Turn around.

-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) - Work it, work it, work it.

Now do a back bend.

Back bend, back bend,

Back, back, back. Work it.

Give me a Norwegian pretzel.

I said, "Norwegian pretzel."

BUGS: Work it! Now get in this garbage can.

BUGS: Work it, work it, work it!

Now, hold this stick of dynamite.

BUGS: Work it! Work it!

Work it, work it, work it!

Work it, work it, work...

He really worked it!

VIKTOR: We'll be back in a flash!

Okey dokey!

It's time for Viktor to reveal his new clothing line!

You call this fashion? I'm not feeling it.

What? What are you not feeling?

(COUTURE ACCENT) When I see this, I don't think, "Nature".

Why just be inspired by the forest?

I mean, why not actually use it?

Viktor can design fashion out of anything.

Well, then. Your challenge

is to design a stunning outfit

using these materials found in nature.

You have 10 seconds. Make it happen.

Ten seconds?

Now, you have 9.

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

Five seconds.

(WAILS)

You can do it, Viktor! You're the best designer!

(MOANING)

Time's up!

I did it! Viktor wins!

I'm underwhelmed.

Underwhelmed?

It's fashion! It works!

And I used your materials!

Hmm. Well, interesting choice,

using poison ivy for the pants.

What? (GASPS)

Oh, and I do love the coloring of this shirt.

The reddish hue of fire ants is fierce.

(GASPS) Fire ants?

Bonus points for accenting the outfit

with this black beaded necklace made of leeches.

(HIGHPITCHED) Leeches?

-(GULPS) - That hat is to die for.

But I always was a sucker for a live badger.

(BADGER GROWLS)

(VIKTOR SCREAMS)

You know what? You've convinced me.

You made it happen.

You won the challenge.

VIKTOR: Stay in style, don't change that dial.

(GRUNTS)

Next on the show,

Huh?

That's it, bunny.

No more Mr. Nice Viktor.

I challenge you to a fashion walk-off.

Fine. Winner gets the rabbit fur.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)

Hey, next tushy pushy into a style smile.

Not a problem.

(IN GERMAN ACCENT) is it just me, or did he do that move better last year?

You're right.

That was so last season, Viktor.

Huh?

I serve fin shinny with a cross that flip

in a french couper trooper twist.

Easy-peasy.

It looked like he took a step backward.

Viktor, you're supposed to be fashion-forward.

(GASPS)

I can do the knee knock knockenspiel with the banana blanket blast.

Watch.

Shuffle, shuffle.

(GROANS)

(SADLY) Love me.

Yeesh! This guy is terrible!

Hey, Viktor! You're a sweaty cow!

You're the greatest model ever.

You're the best, Bugs.

We love you!

What a nice group of guys.

No, that's not true!

I am a Fish...

- Heidi Klum! -(CRASHES)

VIKTOR: Help me!

Here you are, fellas.

(HAPPY YELP)

You look great, guys.

Viktor was nice,

I just wasn't all that impressed by his fall collection.

MEN: We love you, Bugs!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)