Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

ELMER: Congratulations, Mrs. Rosencrantz,

you passed your driving test with flying colors.

Oh, thank you, young man.

Now may I have my driver's license?

Absolutely. You've been a model...

(GRUNTS)

Gran is back in the saddle, baby!

Yee-hah!

Oh, she was in a hurry.

Uh, let's see. Mr. Daffy Duck.

Is Daddy Duck here?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Woo-hoo!

Daffy Duck is my name and drivin' is my game.

All right, Mr. Duck.

Now, the first thing we need to do is a physical inspection.

Okay. So, I've put on a few pounds.

I got this blister on my finger.

And, uh, I have a bit of a nose-picking problem.

See? The blister is from all the nose-picking.

Not a physical inspection of you.

A physical inspection of your car.

So, you don't need me to turn my head and cough?

Just get back in the car.

Woo-hoo.

Okay. Mr. Duck.

For starters, I'll just need you to pull your vehicle...

Ow! You ran over my foot!

Oops! Sorry, I'll just backup then.

Ow!

Now you ran over my other foot, too!

Hold on. Hold on. I can fix this.

Ow! Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Eh!

Better?

Uh! They don't pay me enough for this.

Now, before we begin,

let's make sure your mirrors are well-adjusted.

You've got it.

Mirrors, I love you. I appreciate you.

And if you ever make a mistake I'll love you no matter what.

Mmmwah!

They seem pretty well-adjusted to me.

Will you knock it off?

Now let's make sure your blinkers work.

I think these babies are working pretty good.

But I can't imagine driving like this.

I meant your turn signals, you silly duck!

Right.

Stop messing around and put your seats back up.

-(BOTH GRUNTING) - Better?

(STRAINING) Put the seats back down.

Up! Down!

Are you well-adjusted?

Your first road test will be to go through all these cones.

Put your hands on the wheel at 10:00 and 2:00

and then you can go.

Got it.

What are you doing?

You said put my hands on the wheel at 10 to 2:00.

It's only 1:30.

Just put your hands on the wheel

and drive through the cones!

"Drive through the cones." Gotcha!

(ENGINE REVVING)

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Come out to Monster Truck Rally

and watch Daffy Duck and the Minivan-asaurus

take on garbage can...

-(CRASHING) -...taco stands, even filthy frying pans!

Stop!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

You were supposed to go around the cones!

Not through them!

What's the fun in that?

The fun is passing your driver's test.

Only two more chances to get your license.

That's one more chance than I'll need.

Okay. Now show me you can parallel park so I can fail you.

Roget that!

ELMER: Just pull up

so you're even with the other cars.

Now, turn the vehicle 45 degrees,

- and ease on... -(CRASHING)

Oops! Let's try that again.

Oops!

Oopsie!

Stop!

Oh! I'm gonna have to get out and guide you.

Okay now, gently put forward and... (GROANS)

Can I get an ambulance?

(SIREN WAILING)

I did it! No thanks to you.

Lyin' down on the job? (SCOFFS)

Tsk, tsk!

This is your final chance to get your license.

Now, the first thing we're gonna do

is merge into that highway traffic.

You've got it.

(CARS SPEEDING PAST)

Well, what are you waiting for?

I've got to time this just... Now!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Whoa! Slow down! You're tailgating!

Of course I'm tailgating!

It's almost lunchtime.

Oops! Drooped my weiner!

Oh, no!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

So, what did I miss? (MUNCHING)

Keep your hands on the wheel!

(BLOWS RASPBERRY) Who needs hands?

I can steer with my feet.

Say, how about a little music?

-(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING) - Ooh! I love this song.

(HUMMING ALONG)

Stop dancing! You'll get us both killed!

Okay! Whew!

All that dancing made me sleepy!

-(SNORING) - Oh, no!

Oh, please, wake up!

I'm awake!

(SNORING)

(CRASHING)

-(SOBBING) -(YAWNING)

Are we there yet? This traffic's terrible.

I'm taking a shortcut.

No!

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

Look out for the Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Library!

(THUDDING)

Mr. President.

The nor-we-gee-na-wa?

It says wrong way.

You're reading "wrong way" the wrong way!

I'm not going the wrong way, that truck is!

-(SCREAMING) -(TRUCK HONKING)

Well! I guess I'll take that license now.

Oh, you're gonna get your license all right.

I may not be able to drive,

but I'll still be on your bumper.

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, when do I start playing?

Where's my part?

(MUSIC ENDS)

- AUDIENCE: Hooray! - Oh...

The concert's over?

But I didn't even get to perform.

-(PLAYS OFF-TUNE) - AUDIENCE: Boo!

(GRUNTING)

Wonderful concert, everyone.

Except for you, Leslie.

But Uncle Maestro...

This isn't the time, Leslie.

Tonight is a special night

as we say goodbye to our second chair violinist,

-Sir Tootsalot. -(TRUMPET TOOTS)

Excellent. (EVIL CHUCKLE)

Now that old wind-bag is gone,

I am certain my uncle would make me second fiddle. (CHUCKLES)

And now I know it's short notice,

but I know just the man for the job.

Everyone, please join me in congratulating

our new second chair violin,

-Bugs Bunny! -(SHOUTS) What?

A rabbit

Everyone knows that rabbits have no musical ability.

Not true.

Rabbits have no more reason to play in an orchestra

than they do wearing leg warmers.

What? They keep my calves warm.

You look ridiculous!

I wanna be second violin!

(LAUGHS) You don't have an ounce of musical ability.

Wait!

I challenge this rabbit to a music off!

Winner gets second chair.

Cool with me.

I don't wanna be handed a job if someone's better than me.

Oh, you're going down, tough guy!

See you tomorrow!

- Sweet kid. - Not really.

I'm gonna end this audition before it begins!

(EVIL CHUCKLE)

When that rabbit walks in, I'll pull this lever

and knock him out with a sand bag.

Hello? Is anybody here?

Hold on, Mr Rabbit, I'll be right out.

And first, just stand right there and don't move.

-(THUDS) -(GRUNTS)

Eh, nothin's happenin', Doc.

No, actually, come over here.

You'll see it over here.

Uh, do me a favor,

pull this lever and a surprise will befall you.

(CHUCKLING)

Wait, let me get away from the snadba...

I mean, the surprise.

(EVIL CHUCKLE)

Mr. Sandbag, bring me a dream.

(THUDS)

(EXHALES)

That would have been hilariously ironic if...

-(SHOUTING) -(CRASHING)

Uh, Leslie, where's the surprise?

(GRUNTING)

Oh, well, it's the thought that counts.

-(GROANING) -(THUDDING)

Huh? Hey, that's really nice.

Too bad Leslie wasn't here to see it.

All right, let's get this pointless audition over with.

Oh, boy!

Prepare to be amazed, Uncle Maestro!

(SCRATCHING, OFF-TUNE SOUNDS)

-(SOUND CONTINUES) -(MEOWING)

Ah, get off!

-(FEROCIOUS MEOWING) -(GROANS)

(LAUGHS) Okay, that's enough, Leslie.

- But I didn't get to play... - No, no, no, no.

Let's see what the rabbit can do.

Oh, it's the rabbit's turn, eh?

Let's see how well that rabbit plays

when his violin strings are all greased up. (EVIL CHUCKLE)

There he is.

Here is your violin, Mr. Rabbit.

Oh, why, thank you.

We're "oil" rooting for you. (EVIL CHUCKLE)

(PLAYING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC)

Huh?

How impressive?

His hands move like greased lightening.

No! He should be messing yup.

Oh, I know what'll stop him.

(LESLIE SCREAMING)

Well, I guess we're moving on to the encore.

(CANONS FIRING)

-(MUSIC ENDS) -(GROANING)

Bravo!

Amazing performance!

Bugs, you're not going to be second chair violin,

you're going to be first chair violin

and first chair cello!

First chair every single instrument!

You're a one-man symphony!

Oh, thank you, Maestro, glad you liked it.

Ah, Uncle... Uh, Uncle Maestro,

if he's first chair, does that mean I can be second fiddle?

Oh, no, Leslie.

You're going to be first chair cannonball.

First chair cannonball?

I know, right?

I want you both to play this exact same performance

every single night.

You think you can handle that, Bugs?

I can handle anything,

as long as it's in my "cannon."

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)