Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SERENE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

(POPPING)

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCREECHING)

(POPS)

(POPPING)

(POPPING)

(POPS)

(THUDDING)

(SCREECHING)

NARRATOR: The year was 1776.

America was a tiny colony of the mighty British Empire.

But beneath the soil of these placid farms,

the seeds of revolution were already being sown.

What? You want how much for carrot-infused tea?

What, what, cheerio, read the sign.

It's one pound six pence.

Yeah, but yesterday, it was only one pound three pence.

What, what, it's not my fault, sir, cheerio,

it's the British Empire, what, what.

They tax the tea. Cheerio, what, what.

Hey, you in the boat, I got a complaint.

Hark, I hear the sound of dissent to be stifled.

Whoa!

(THUDDING AND GROANING)

What is your complaint?

You're taxing the tea and I don't like it.

All subjects of the British Empire

must render the requisite tea tax.

Well, I'm not paying it.

Then you're gonna be in trouble.

I ain't afraid of you.

(YELPS) Now I'm afraid of you.

(GROANS)

Not only do you have to pay the tea tax,

but also, the income tax,

the property tax, the air tax,

the water tax, the sin tax,

finally, the boot tax.

Uh, what's the boot tax?

- This. -(SCREAMS)

(CRASHES)

Hut, two, three, four,

left shoulder, arms,

right shoulder, arms, left face, right face.

- Hut, two, three, four. - Huh?

Halt, who goes there?

Private first class, Bugs Bunny,

second fellow of the third battalion,

set forth on the fifth day of the six month

because seven, eight, nine.

Ten, hut.

Well, if you're on duty,

then you'll wait for morning drills.

Attention!

Sir, yes, sir.

Left shoulder, arms, left face.

(GRUNTS) Ooh, you hit me right in the face.

- Right face. - Ow!

I didn't mean right face.

I meant left face!

Ow! Oh, forget it. Drills are over.

I have to show you to your duties.

I already did my duty.

I put it in that bucket over there.

(BUZZING)

Oh, that's not a bucket, that's my lunch pail.

Just follow me.

First task will be to take these drums of ammunition to the armory.

Ooh, I love the drums.

♪ Honey dew... ♪

Stop it, that's gunpowder,

that's very explosive.

Oops! My bad.

Now pick it up and carry it into the armory.

Okay, now, let's see.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Nah, it's too heavy.

Oh, I'll do it.

(GRUNTING)

Let me help you there.

There you go, bub.

Now, we're responsible for protecting the cannonballs,

muskets, these fireworks, and finally, the gunpowder.

Hey, Doc, that barrel of gunpowder you were carrying sprung a leak.

Where? It's too dark, I can't see anything.

Don't worry, I got a lantern.

Oops! I dropped it.

What? Let em out of here!

Is this what you wanted?

(EXPLOSION)

(GROANS)

There you are. The King just arrived!

He can't see you like this.

I'll get you some fresh clothes.

Now, let's see what we got.

Red coat, red coat, red coat.

Uh, gee, got a lot of variety here.

Will you just get me some clothes?

Soldier, where is your uniform?

Your Majesty. (KISSING)

Stop groveling and take me to your ship.

Welcome aboard, Your Majesty.

I pride myself in keeping the finest, most immaculate ship in the fleet.

What a dump!

Excuse me, sir?

I said, this place is a dump!

Now, scrub that deck.

Polish that wheel. Dance me a jig.

Tickle this chicken.

-(SCREAMS) - Now go scrub that cannon.

Cannons don't get dirty on the outside.

Sir, yes, sir.

Fire in the hole.

(SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

Well done, lad.

That's the spirit of the Empire in action.

I think you earned yourself a knighthood.

Kneel before your King.

(GROANING)

Of course, to knight you,

I will employ the royal two-by-four.

My sword is at the dry cleaners.

I dub thee Sir Elmer of the Lumpy Skull.

(GROANING)

And one to grow on.

-(GROANS) - That ought to do it.

Congratulations, Sir Elmer, you're now a knight.

Hey, you're the king, you're the rabbit,

And you're cute.

(KISSES)

Oh, I'm gonna throw you off this ship!

(GROANING)

(GROWLS)

- Yoo-hoo. - Huh?

Here, here, get rid of these.

We got to find the rabbit.

Dump the tea overboard!

No, wait.

It's not what you think.

I'm in the British Army.

Stop in the name of the...

(SCREAMING)

NARRATOR: And that's how the revolutionary war got started.

Wait a minute, that's not how it happened.

Eh, so maybe it wasn't exactly accurate,

but it sure was a heck of a tea party.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)