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1
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:02,961
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:27,944
Hello, Cabo!
3
00:00:28,027 --> 00:00:29,904
Bell boy, take my luggage
to the suite.
4
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,157
I'll be sending my tailor...
(GROANS)
5
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,202
This isn't
a tropical paradise!
6
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,913
This is Area 51!
7
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:42,125
That place where
the government keeps all kinds
of weird experiments,
8
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:43,960
and... Aliens?
9
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:46,045
(BEEPING)
10
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,131
Aw, hey there,
little shaver.
11
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,799
What's an adorable
little guy like you
12
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,092
doing in a place like this?
13
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,344
-(BEEPS)
- Oh, you're a Martian?
14
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:54,429
(BEEPS)
15
00:00:54,512 --> 00:00:55,722
And you crashed here
on Earth?
16
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,015
(BEEPS)
17
00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:59,100
Oh, and you want to go home
to your parents?
18
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,061
But you can't because
they got you locked up
here like a prisoner?
19
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,147
Okay, okay, that was
an obvious question.
20
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,025
But don't you worry,
because I'm going to
get you out of here.
21
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,821
Now, let's get you
to your ship.
22
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,406
Not so fast, rabbit!
23
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,950
Where do you think
you're going
with my baby alien?
24
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:18,995
Gee, Doc, who says
this is your alien?
25
00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:21,831
Five-star General
Yosemite Sam says so.
26
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,209
And so does this here
giant laser gun.
27
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:26,461
Now, surrender that
green thumb sucker.
28
00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:28,463
- Okay, Doc.
-(CRIES)
29
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:30,048
Good gravy, he's crying.
30
00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,300
What do I need to do
to calm this critter down?
31
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,719
Oh, you're gonna need
this, this, this, this,
32
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,513
this, this, all of this...
33
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,431
And that ought to do it, Doc.
34
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:43,228
Ooh! I done been
hornswoggled.
35
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:46,523
He maybe a five-star general,
but he's got a one-star brain.
36
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,149
(ZAPPING)
37
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,400
Yikes!
38
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:56,366
Huh? Where did they go?
39
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,576
- Ten-hut!
- Who are you?
40
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:02,121
Who am I?
I'm a six-star general,
you worthless maggot.
41
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,458
(GASPS)
Reporting for duty, sir.
42
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,253
Good! General says,
"Drop and give me ten."
43
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:12,882
(STRAINING) One, two...
44
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,051
- Two's enough, two's enough.
-(GRUNTS)
45
00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:16,845
Now general says,
"Act like a monkey."
46
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,471
(GIBBERING)
47
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,557
General says, "Monkey,
make me some waffles."
48
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,891
(GIBBERING)
49
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,852
General says,
"Monkey, write me a sonnet."
50
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,979
(GIBBERING)
51
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,147
General says, "Monkey,
punch yourself in the face."
52
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,732
(EXCLAIMING)
53
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,734
- General says, "Faster."
-(EXCLAIMING)
54
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,695
- General says, "Harder!"
-(EXCLAIMING)
55
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,657
- You can stop.
- Phew!
56
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:40,869
- Uh-uh-uh.
I didn't say, "General says."
-(GASPS)
57
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,204
My bad. (EXCLAIMS)
58
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,456
Nope. You're out of the game.
59
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:48,459
(GROANS) Oh!
Sir, yes, sir.
60
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:53,256
Oh, gee, I can't believe
I have been discharged
61
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,425
by a real life
six-star general.
62
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,176
Wait one second...
63
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,971
There ain't no such thing
as a six-star general.
64
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:02,932
Get back here
with my baby alien!
65
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,475
Transportation tubes.
66
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,769
This could be our ticket
to the spaceship, fella.
67
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,313
A-ha!
68
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,522
-(BEEPS)
-(EXCLAIMS)
69
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,857
Nice thinking, kid.
70
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,442
These tubes go all around
the base, right?
71
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,652
Let's send him
to the rocket testing area.
72
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,487
(YOSEMITE SAM SCREAMS)
73
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,114
To the water filtration pump.
74
00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,532
(SPLASHING AND CHOKING)
75
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,326
Then into the pinata factory.
76
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,494
(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYS)
77
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,623
Cool. Now let's send him
to the taffy-pulling machine.
78
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,791
(YOSEMITE SAM EXCLAIMING)
79
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,627
Into the seasickness chamber.
80
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,962
YOSEMITE SAM:
Oh! I don't feel so good.
81
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,839
And then to
the monster truck rally.
82
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,216
(YOSEMITE SAM GASPS)
Not the Truck-a-dontus!
83
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,551
(EXCLAIMS)
84
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,220
Now let's send him
to the summer dress rally.
85
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,264
- YOSEMITE SAM: Too tight.
- To the nacho room.
86
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,642
YOSEMITE SAM: (SCREAMS)
The cheese! It burns!
87
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,144
And into the spectacle
spectacular.
88
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:50,688
YOSEMITE SAM: Oh!
This is pretty nice.
89
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,859
Does this dress
make me look cheesy?
90
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:55,944
(GROANS)
91
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,071
Okay, we've had our fun.
92
00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,156
Time for us to make
our big exit.
93
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:02,992
(GROWLS)
94
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,869
(EXCLAIMS)
95
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:06,871
Look! There's your ship!
96
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,791
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
97
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,542
We gotta get around
those guards.
98
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,836
GUARD 1: So my in-laws
are coming for the weekend.
99
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,171
Hey! Freeze!
100
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:18,216
In-laws? More like outlaws.
Am I right?
101
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,509
(GUARDS LAUGHING)
102
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:22,553
Hey, how do you know
Tim and Verna?
103
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,514
-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
-We've got company.
104
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:25,890
Line up in formation.
105
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,433
(GUARDS STOMPING)
106
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,689
(LASERS ZAPPING)
107
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,733
(BLEEPING)
108
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,577
We got 'em. Let's go!
109
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,830
Freeze, rabbit!
110
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:52,208
Nobody steals my baby alien.
(LAUGHS)
111
00:04:52,291 --> 00:04:53,293
(BEEPING)
112
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,629
(ENERGY CHARGING)
113
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,172
Oh...
114
00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,508
(EXCLAIMS)
115
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:01,509
(GROANS)
116
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:03,594
Is that all you... (GRUNTS)
117
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,388
Nice move, kid.
118
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,515
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
119
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,185
(BEEPING)
120
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,902
Oh, shoot! We let
another alien get away.
121
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,654
The President's gonna kill us!
122
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,032
Oh, gee, fellas, you may have
let that one get away,
123
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,410
but it looks like there's
another one right over there.
124
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,580
-(MUTTERING)
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
125
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:32,665
Works for me.
126
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,667
All these aliens look
the same anyhow.
127
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:35,918
(BEEPS)
128
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,420
There may be intelligent life
up there,
129
00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,964
but down here not so much.
130
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,219
BAILIFF: All rise!
131
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:48,431
The Honorable Judge Elmer
J. Fudd presiding, okay?
132
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,516
Court to order.
Ladies and gentlemen,
133
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,186
I call the case of
The State v. Porky Pig.
134
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,353
Are both sides ready?
135
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,105
I say, I say ready,
Your Honor.
136
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,691
That's why I am standing here
wearing this law suit.
137
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,486
Get it? "Law Suit"?
That's a joke, Your Honor.
138
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:02,820
Why ain't you laughing?
139
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,531
Mr. Pig,
where is your attorney?
140
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,785
- I... (STUTTERS)
Don't have one, Your Honor.
-(DOOR OPENS)
141
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,120
You do now.
Daffy Duck, attorney at law.
142
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,332
I would have been here sooner,
but I was busy chasing
ambulances.
143
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,793
I caught three of them!
It's hard when you don't
have a car.
144
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,711
Mr. Pig,
is this your attorney?
145
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,129
- Uh...
- Don't answer that!
146
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,964
Are you even
a real attorney?
147
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,093
Of course. I have
my license right here.
148
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,136
(STUTTERS)
This is a fishing license.
149
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,971
Fish need lawyers too.
150
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,307
All right, Mr. Duck,
present your case.
151
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,767
Here's my case, Your Honor.
152
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:35,603
It's 100% leather,
has a combination lock,
153
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:38,272
and even has
a neat little pouch here
for your cell phone.
154
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,399
Not that.
Your client's case!
155
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,985
I don't think he has a case.
156
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,862
Unless you count
his piggy pouch.
157
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,489
Which, by the way,
is not a good look for you.
158
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,324
(STUTTERS)
Just tell him I didn't do it.
159
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:49,826
He didn't do it, Your Honor.
160
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,578
- End of story. Case closed.
-(GROANS)
161
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,247
(EXCLAIMS)
162
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,332
Why are you waving
your arms around like that?
163
00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:58,292
I was making a motion
for a mistrial.
164
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,419
This is the motion
for a mistrial.
165
00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:03,256
And your motion is denied.
166
00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:04,549
-(GROANS)
- Well, I tried.
167
00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,008
Looks like you're gonna
have to take the stand.
168
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,136
-(SQUEALS)
-(WHOOPS)
169
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,763
Porky, do you swear to tell
the whole truth,
170
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,349
and not just an itty-bitty
little piece of it?
171
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:15,476
My mother always told me
not to swear.
172
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,311
But I guess I can make
an exception.
173
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,856
Your Honor, I'd like
to introduce exhibit A
to the evidence.
174
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,526
Exhibit A, this is evidence.
Evidence, meet exhibit A.
175
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,861
Don't be shy. Get in there.
176
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,320
(IMITATING)
"Oh, how nice to meet you.
177
00:07:26,404 --> 00:07:28,406
"I usually don't talk
to strangers."
178
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,199
"But I like those
tight firm corners."
179
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,118
(IN DIFFERENT VOICE) "Well,
thank you, little missy.
180
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:33,828
"You don't look
so bad yourself."
181
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,746
"Kiss me now."
"Gladly."
182
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,498
(MAKING KISSING SOUNDS)
183
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,292
"Oh! Evidence!"
184
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:42,253
Enough with the puppet show!
Just get on with it.
185
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:44,714
Okay, Pig.
Here, read this paper.
186
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,382
-"I did it."
- A-ha!
187
00:07:46,465 --> 00:07:48,718
He confessed.
(WHOOPING)
188
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,261
He did it, he did it!
(WHOOPING)
189
00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:51,721
Objection, Your Honor.
190
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:54,432
The defense cannot do
the prosecution's job.
191
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:55,808
Then do it yourself.
192
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,727
I'm tired of doing
all the work around here.
193
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,520
Your Honor, I didn't do it.
194
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,230
-(CRASHING)
- Well, I think you did.
195
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,357
And I've got some
tough questions that are
going to make you crack.
196
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,984
How many fingers
am I holding up?
197
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,070
- Uh, five.
- What's the capital
of Kentucky?
198
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,906
(STUTTERS) Uh, Frankfurt.
199
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:12,408
What baseball player
holds the all-time record
for stolen bases?
200
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:15,119
Lou Brock. (STUTTERS)
No, no, no. Rickey Henderson.
201
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,788
Oh! Now you're starting
to sweat, aren't you, boy?
202
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,958
(STUTTERS) That's because
of this down parka
you have me wearing.
203
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,919
- Objection!
- I agree.
204
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,754
You're clearly badgering
the witness.
205
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,547
Oh, no, no, no!
It's not that.
206
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,591
This would be badgering
the witness.
207
00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:30,009
(GROWLING)
208
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,136
(PORKY SCREAMS)
209
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,305
(GROANS)
210
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:37,516
No, Your Honor.
What I was objecting to
was the down jacket.
211
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,769
It could my relative
for all I know.
212
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,812
Order! Order in the court.
213
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,314
Just give us a second.
214
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:44,440
We haven't had a chance
to have a look at the menu.
215
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,858
So, what do you think?
216
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,902
Well, uh, the mushroom caps
look really good.
217
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,362
Oh, yeah, I've had those.
They're great.
218
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,781
I say, do you mind
if we order a few things
219
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,407
and, uh, do it tapas-style?
220
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:57,620
Enough! Counselors,
approach the bench.
221
00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,164
Now, look you two,
I want a good, clean trial
222
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,625
that has lots of legal
mumbo jumbo. Got it?
223
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,126
Mumbo jumbo. Got it!
224
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,796
Now, I'd like to file
a legal brief at this moment.
225
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,006
I too would like to file
a legal brief.
226
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,050
I left my legal boxers
at home.
227
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,594
Your Honor, this calls
for tort reform.
228
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,012
I agree.
229
00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,555
This chocolate torte's
getting all over my underwear.
230
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,224
I move for capital punishment!
231
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,101
I'll give you
capital punishment!
232
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,019
Frankfurt,
this is all your fault.
233
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,437
Go to your room,
and don't come out
234
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:24,981
until you think about
what you've done.
235
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:26,983
That's enough!
236
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,318
Bailiff, throw this duck
out of my court room.
237
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,028
Come on, Mr. Duck, let's go.
238
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,822
Hold it right there!
239
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,533
I can see I'm going
to have to win this trial
all by myself.
240
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:38,077
-(STUTTERS) What?
- Get out of here, Piggins.
241
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,164
Mr. Duck, where were you
the night of September 2nd?
242
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,749
I, I have no idea.
243
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:47,003
Oh, no? You weren't
at the mall that day?
244
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,713
Parking in a handicap spot?
245
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,090
(STUTTERS) The lot was full.
I had no choice.
246
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,176
No choice, eh?
You could have parked
across the street.
247
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,387
Or you could have
circled the lot until
something opened up.
248
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,723
You could have taken
public transportation!
249
00:09:58,806 --> 00:09:59,849
(STAMMERS) I...
250
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,184
We all know what you did.
251
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,687
So confess. Confess.
252
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,855
Confess!
253
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:09,233
All right! I confess.
It was the pig!
254
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,401
He made me do it!
255
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,069
(CROWD GASPS)
256
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,238
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
257
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:17,700
Justice may be blind,
but I just gave her glasses.
258
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,618
Order! Order in the court!
259
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:23,039
Frankly, I'm torn between
the pasta primavera
and the butt steak.
260
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,540
Order! Order, I say.
261
00:10:24,623 --> 00:10:26,584
Yeah, you heard him.
Order in the court.
262
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,544
No, no, no.
I'm the judge here.
263
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,254
Nobody out-gavels Judge Fudd.
264
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,006
And I say, order!
265
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:34,216
No, I say, order!
266
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,218
- Order!
- Order!
267
00:10:37,094 --> 00:10:38,596
(GROANS)
268
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,724
Oh, that does it!
This trial is over!
269
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,934
Porky Pig,
you are not guilty.
270
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:48,022
But that duck
is incredibly guilty
of wasting everyone's time.
271
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:51,150
Therefore, I'm going to
throw the book at you.
272
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,402
(WINCES)
273
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:58,616
(SPUTTERING)
Justice is served.
274
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:02,078
Speaking of served,
is it too late to order
pot stickers?
20016
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