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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:02,877 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:20,562 (WHISTLING) 3 00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,898 Briarwood Country Club, eh? 4 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,191 Swanky. 5 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,819 Members only, huh? Oh, boy. 6 00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:29,571 A bunch of exclusive stuffed shirts, 7 00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:32,657 standing around, talking about how great they are. 8 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,118 Sounds like my kind of place! 9 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,662 Chauncey, I saw your Cutlass in the parking lot. 10 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,497 I see my stock tip paid off. 11 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,459 Reginald! Shaved a few shots off your course record yesterday. 12 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,502 Looks like you owe me a steak, you rascal. 13 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,129 All right, Leslie, my daughter's wedding 14 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,630 is in 30 minutes, and I need you 15 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,758 to make sure everything goes perfectly. 16 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:50,800 Of course, Bernie. 17 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,511 Please, call me Mr. Briarwood. 18 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,346 Uh, of course, Mr. Briarwood. 19 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,807 And, might I add, that when it comes to coordinating weddings, 20 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,269 I'm the best man for the job. (CHUCKLES) 21 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:02,645 Don't make jokes, Leslie, 22 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,481 and don't make direct eye contact with me. 23 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,817 Eye contact is reserved for Event Managers only. 24 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,986 Look sharp. I'll see you in 30 minutes. 25 00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:12,989 (SCOFFS) I can't believe I've worked here for ten years, 26 00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:16,701 and I'm still 2nd Assistant Junior Event Coordinator. 27 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:20,872 (SLURPING) Woo-hoo! 28 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:23,958 A duck? In Briarwood Country Club? 29 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,293 Unacceptable! 30 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:27,962 Ooh! Now's my chance to prove to Bernie... 31 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:32,801 Ah, Mr. Briarwood, that I'm Event Manager material. 32 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,011 - Excuse me, sir. -(SPITTING) 33 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:36,513 Perfect timing, my good man. 34 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,431 I need more of these cocktail weenies, 35 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:41,267 a couple of jalapeno poppers, and some mozzarella sticks. 36 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,561 And you might want to freshen up this punch. 37 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,939 I am not a waiter, big mouth! 38 00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:47,690 Big mouth? How rude! 39 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,734 I'd like to speak with your manager. 40 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,694 There is no manager. 41 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,864 DAFFY: But your name tag says, "2nd Assistant Junior Event Coordinator." 42 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:58,284 - Yes? - Is there a 1st Assistant Junior Event Coordinator? 43 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:02,080 - No. - Is there a 2nd Assistant Senior Event Coordinator? 44 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:04,040 - No. - All right, who's your boss? 45 00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:05,625 He'd be the Event Manager. 46 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,795 - Then let me talk to him. - There isn't one. 47 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,214 The position is currently vacant. 48 00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,509 Let's go over this one more time. 49 00:02:14,592 --> 00:02:15,969 Listen, you! 50 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,847 Mr. Briarwood's daughter is getting married today! 51 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,139 She's getting married? 52 00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,517 Why didn't you tell me? 53 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,811 -(EXCLAIMING) - I haven't gotten them a gift, yet. 54 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,897 Those gifts don't belong to you! 55 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,233 Got to see what's inside, so I don't double up! 56 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,401 Ooh! What's this? 57 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:32,944 Something for their first garage sale? 58 00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:34,988 A gift card! That took a lot of thought. 59 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:36,781 A toaster! How retro. 60 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,617 Another toaster? Geez, guys, use a registry. 61 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,077 You're ruining the presents! 62 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,204 Oh, these presents were already ruined. 63 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,832 Who gives a Christmas sweater at a wedding? 64 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,125 Actually, that's from me. 65 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,918 I'll return it for you. Woo-hoo! 66 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,170 I'll tell you what every newlywed needs! 67 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,089 Silverware and fine china! 68 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,050 And they're definitely going to need one of these chocolate fountains! 69 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,594 And you know what else every household needs? 70 00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,096 A 2nd Assistant Junior Event Coordinator. 71 00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:02,348 -(GRUNTS) - It's perfect. 72 00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,976 Hey! 73 00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,978 It's hard to rehearse a wedding when the groom isn't here. 74 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,271 BOTH: There you are! 75 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,522 All right, here's the schedule. 76 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,857 Three o'clock, the guests arrive. 77 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,650 At 3:06, the bridesmaids are given roses. 78 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,153 - Ow! - Careful. They still have thorns. 79 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,946 So, you're out there, it's 3:07. 80 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,032 - Release the doves. - What doves? 81 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,283 -(DOVES COOING) -(GAGGING) 82 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:23,036 Don't eat the doves. Release the doves! 83 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:24,704 (LESLIE SCREAMS) 84 00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:27,707 You know, when Leslie here asked me to be his best man, 85 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,919 I said, "How can I be his best man? I'm a duck!" 86 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,295 (RIMSHOT PLAYS) 87 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,630 Come on, buddy. It's a rehearsal. 88 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,964 How about a little support? 89 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,467 Oh, yes! That's a great one. Good joke. 90 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,802 I'm kidding. Who wouldn't want to marry Leslie? 91 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,180 He's a catch! Although, to most women, 92 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,973 he's one catch they'd want to throw back. 93 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,975 -(RIMSHOT PLAYS) - Uh, yeah. You got me that time. 94 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,312 I kid! But, really, when I heard Leslie was gonna get married, 95 00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:50,897 I said, "I'm sorry, 96 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,316 "but how long has your new wife been nearsighted?" 97 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:54,901 -(RIMSHOT PLAYS) - Okay, that's enough. 98 00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:57,320 I'm joking. She sees fine. 99 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,489 She sees his bald spot, his crow's feet, 100 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,616 and his excessively-long nose hairs. 101 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,202 -(RIMSHOT PLAYS) - Yeah, not my sense of humor. 102 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:07,330 I mean, this guy is old! He's got more wrinkles 103 00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:10,166 than an accordion wearing a pair of linen pants. 104 00:04:10,249 --> 00:04:12,168 Okay! I don't have to take this! 105 00:04:12,251 --> 00:04:13,461 But, that's enough out of me. 106 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,797 Let's hear from the man of the hour. 107 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,007 Look at that, folks. 108 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,425 He's only been married five minutes, 109 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,511 and he already knows to keep his mouth shut. 110 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,513 -(GRUNTS) -(GIGGLING MANIACALLY) 111 00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,181 (GRUNTING ANGRILY) 112 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,351 MR. BRIARWOOD: Now, if everyone would please 113 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,187 join us inside for the reception. 114 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:35,108 Ice got your tongue? I'll make all your problems melt away. 115 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,401 (STRAINING) 116 00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:37,610 MR. BRIARWOOD: Ladies and gentlemen, 117 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,113 Mr. and Mrs. Johnson. 118 00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,365 -(EXCLAIMING) - You can't rush art. 119 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,909 -(GRUNTS) - Now, you were saying? 120 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,744 The reception... Starting... 121 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,579 Well, let's get this party started! 122 00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:50,289 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 123 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,584 (GROANS ANGRILY) 124 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:54,752 Y'all ready for plates? 125 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,257 Hey! 126 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:01,926 (GRUNTING) Gotcha! Any last words? 127 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,720 How about, "Ka-boom"? 128 00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,058 (ALL CHEERING) 129 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,643 Congratulations, Mr. Duck. 130 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:14,063 You've made my daughter's special day even more special. 131 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,858 No problem, chief. It was a piece of cake. 132 00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,401 Oh, thank you. 133 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,737 How would you like to be Event Manager? 134 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,322 I'd be delighted. 135 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:25,116 (GASPS) You're making the duck Event Manager? 136 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:27,285 (SCREAMING) I want to be the manager! 137 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,245 Take this plate to the kitchen and clean it. 138 00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:31,164 Think you can manage that? 139 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,790 Yes, Mr. Briarwood. 140 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,918 Hey! Look at that! Woo-hoo! 141 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:39,756 Always the bridesmaid, never the Event Manager. 142 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,261 (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS) 143 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:04,030 Welcome to Gettin' Fresh, with me, Ivana. 144 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,656 Today, we're coming to you live, 145 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,784 from the middle of the forest, where I can show you 146 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:10,578 how to gather the freshest ingredients 147 00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,663 to make a fresh, delicious meal. 148 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,665 Follow me. 149 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:17,043 Today, we're preparing root veggies. 150 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:20,546 Fresh rutabaga, fresh parsnips, fresh beets, 151 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:23,132 and of course, fresh carrots. 152 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,177 (STRAINING) 153 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,972 Stand by, ladies and gentlemen. 154 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,307 (ALARM BELL RINGS) 155 00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,642 You're ruining my show! 156 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,102 You're ruining my garden. 157 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,063 Your garden is my dinner. Now, get lost! 158 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,940 (GRUNTS) 159 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,068 That cook is about to get burned. 160 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:45,947 -(CHANTING) Fresh. Fresh. -(ALARM BELL RINGS) 161 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,657 Welcome back. 162 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:49,659 One of the most important parts of cooking is to make sure 163 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:53,037 your space and utensils are clean and germ-free. 164 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,541 Nothing ruins freshness more than germs, dirt and grime. 165 00:06:56,624 --> 00:07:00,086 Huh? Dirt! But, I... Oh. (CHUCKLES) 166 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,587 Well, no harm done. 167 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:04,090 That's why it's a good idea to double-check. 168 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,884 Make sure everything is spick-and-span. 169 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,637 More dirt! How in the... 170 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,850 (GROANING) 171 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,477 In order to maintain freshness, 172 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:19,939 it's important to keep your workstation clean. 173 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:22,859 (CHUCKLES) There. Now, we can begin... 174 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,153 Oh, for crying out loud! 175 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,363 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 176 00:07:27,446 --> 00:07:29,532 - Hmm? (GROWLS) -(SNEEZES) 177 00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:32,660 (GROWLING) 178 00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:36,330 Forget it! I just won't use a cutting board and a knife. 179 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,541 All I need is a boon and a spowl... 180 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,126 I mean, a pool and a bown... 181 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,461 Oh, you know what I mean! (CHUCKLES) 182 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,590 Oh! These are dirty, too! (SCREAMS) 183 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,133 (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS) 184 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:48,926 -(ALARM BELL RINGS) - We're back. 185 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,054 Don't worry about cutting up your veggies and roots. 186 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,347 You can cook them whole... 187 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,266 We have to take some audience questions, now. 188 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,935 Adjust the lights. Her face is starting to look a little leathery. 189 00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:01,022 Huh? Uh, uh... Oh, I guess now is the part of the show 190 00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:03,566 where I take questions from the audience. 191 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,610 Uh, yes. You, with the glove? 192 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:06,944 Hey, Ivana. Uh, big fan. 193 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,696 Longtime watcher, first-time caller. 194 00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:11,449 I was wondering, uh, how you gonna prepare those carrots? 195 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:12,950 Good question. 196 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,244 To preserve the freshness, it's best to prepare them... 197 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,954 BUGS: Now, since we're talking about preparing, 198 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,789 how do I prepare for my math test? 199 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:21,500 This is a cooking show. I don't know about tests. 200 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,002 BUGS: And since we're talking about tests, 201 00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:24,295 in a test of strength, 202 00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:25,671 how many push-ups do you think I can do? 203 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,215 One, two, three, four, five... 204 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,091 How long do you think I can scream? 205 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,593 How many geese are in a gaggle? 206 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,220 What's the difference between a frog and a toad? 207 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,347 Can you take a look at this mole on my back? 208 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,265 (YELLING) Silence! 209 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,351 -(DOORBELL RINGS) - Is that a doorbell? 210 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:41,437 - How did that... -(DOORBELL RINGING) 211 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,397 Okay, hold your horses. 212 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,191 - Howdy, neighbor. - What do you want? 213 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,693 I'm doing a television show! (TEETH GRINDING) 214 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,154 I was hoping I could borrow a cup of sugar. 215 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,948 Oh, well, of course. 216 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,824 It's the neighborly thing to do. 217 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,868 Here! Now, where was I? 218 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,662 Oh, yes. Freshness... 219 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,538 Eh, how about a cup of milk? 220 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,499 Yes. Of course. 221 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:04,126 Cup of salt? Cup of pepper? Cup of coffee? 222 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,962 Cup-and-ball game? 223 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,130 - The Stanley Cup? -(STRAINING) 224 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,259 Couple of bucks? The lost cup of Ali Baba? 225 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,677 Cup of noodles? Cup of doodles? 226 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,180 - Cup of poodles? -(SCREAMING) Enough! 227 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,723 (PANTING) Now, as I was saying... 228 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,558 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -(SCREAMING) What? 229 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,854 - Got any cup-holders? -(TEETH GRINDING) 230 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,064 You don't look so good. 231 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:26,857 I know what'll fix you right up. 232 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,901 A nice, fresh meal. 233 00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,988 Why, you... (GROANS) 234 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,864 That bruise looks fresh. 235 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,866 (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS) 236 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,285 (GROANING) 237 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,037 (GASPS) Celebrity chef, Random Gorsay! 238 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,832 (IN BRITISH ACCENT) Get off the ground, you lazy pile of whale phlegm! 239 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,418 If you're not going to cook, at least toss the salad! 240 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:47,086 Yes, chef! Whatever you say, chef! 241 00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,505 You call that tossing? Don't be so gentle. 242 00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:50,965 It's a salad, not a baby! 243 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:52,842 Yes! Of course, chef. What was I thinking... 244 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,261 Faster, you miserable pile of pigeon puke. 245 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:58,097 Teach me. Mold me. I am your humble student. 246 00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:01,183 Give me that bowl, you worthless sack of pig fat! 247 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,020 The great Random Gorsay called me pig fat! 248 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,397 I can't wait to tell my friends. (EXCLAIMS) 249 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,565 (WHIRRING) 250 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,525 Now, that's how you toss a salad. 251 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:13,612 Wow! I never thought to prepare salad this way. 252 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:16,032 Now, we just chill the lettuce to keep it crisp. 253 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,118 A bit of liquid nitrogen should do the trick. 254 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:20,536 And, mix! 255 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,122 -(WHIRRING) - Yeesh! 256 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,709 Eh. Live and learn. 257 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,966 (TEETH CHATTERING) I won't let that rabbit take my freshness. 258 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,094 (IN CREEPY VOICE) You wants my freshness? 259 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,220 Huh? 260 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,723 BUGS: It's Trollum's freshness. 261 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,059 Who's there? (TEETH CHATTERING) 262 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:47,688 Promises me you won't takes my freshness. 263 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:50,566 (SCREAMING) 264 00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:51,984 - Freshness! -(CAMERA THUDS) 265 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,569 Keep that freshness away from me! 266 00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:54,904 Keep it away! 267 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,073 Well, that's our showsies. 268 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,033 Tunes insies next weeksies, 269 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:03,829 when you and Trollum seeksies the freshness! 20033

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