Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there was a king named King Bugs.

He ruled over a large and wonderful kingdom.

The crops grew bounteous and plentiful.

And the birds all sang happy tunes.

♪ Figaro Figaro Figaro Figaro ♪

NARRATOR: Everything was just as wonderful as can be,

until an evil usurper ambushed the King.

(LAUGHING EVILY) Ambush!

He took the throne after throwing King Bugs into the Cave of Forgetfulness.

From that day forward,

things in the kingdom changed.

Not to mention, the only way

to get food was to pay the King in compliments.

Oh, great King,

you're the most handsome and dashing man in the world.

Give him some slop.

Oh, great King,

your mustache is like a fierce

ginger lion's mane.

Who are you calling ginger?

Banish her from the kingdom.

Ginger's not an insult!

But there were two subjects of the King,

that dared to challenge his authority.

Listen, Bub. I got this slop an hour ago

and it's cold.

And my associate and I do not eat cold slop.

I never met this duck before.

Your soup's not cold...

It's on your head.

(LAUGHING)

Are you not entertained?

No.

But they are.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

You know what we do to pant thieves around here?

Give em a strong verbal warning and let 'em go free?

I throw them in the dungeon. Minion!

(STAMMERS) But I don't even know the duck.

(GRUNTS)

You can't do this to us.

I know my rights and my lefts.

If only King Bugs were here.

That's why we're going to break out of here

and go on a quest to find him.

You two are wasting your time.

There's no way out of this dungeon.

I've been down here for ten years.

I can't be in here for ten years.

Oh, it's not so bad.

The food's actually pretty good.

- Did he just eat a bug? - Yes, he did.

I got an idea.

- A1. - Bingo!

(PORKY SINGING GOOD KING WENCESLAS)

Help this pig. He's got the Christmas fever.

Christmas fever?

It's a virus where you can't stop singing Christmas carols.

♪ Deck the halls with bows of holly ♪

He's been at it for hours.

Oh, this isn't so bad.

-(PORKY CONTINUES SINGING) - BOTH: Please make it stop!

Only fresh air can cure it.

Here, just get him out of here.

I can still hear it.

It's echoing in my helmet.

I haven't had to deal with that much garbage since the last election.

Come on, we gotta find King Bugs.

I know where he's at. Follow me.

NARRATOR: And so they followed the old weirdo

to the middle of the Dark Forest.

We have been walking forever.

Where are we anyway?

The Cave of Forgetfulness.

King Bugs is in there.

Well, I did my part.

- DAFFY: You're leaving? - After ten years in jail,

I got some living to do.

Plus, in the forest

I got all the insects I can eat.

Ugh, come on.

Wait, he never told us why

they call it the Cave of Forgetfulness.

Oh, forget that crazy old coot.

Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing here?

You're Daffy Duck. You're in the Cave of Forgetfulness

and you're looking for King Bugs.

Daffy Duck. Cave of Forgetfulness. King Bugs. Got it.

Who am I? Where am I? Where are my feet?

You're Daffy Duck in the Cave of Forgetfulness looking for Bugs.

Your feet are under your legs.

Duck. Cave. King Bugs. Under my legs. Got it.

Who turned the lights off? What am I doing here?

(SIGHS) You're in the Cave of Forgetfulness,

and you are looking for King Bugs.

I know. Why are you yelling at me?

'Cause you went into the cave and kept forgetting.

That doesn't sound like me.

Here, I'll show ya. Who am I? Where am I?

Yeah, okay. I see your point.

How are we going to find the king if we can't remember who we're looking for?

We need a reminder note.

We are Daffy and Porky,

and we're trying to find King Bugs.

(STAMMERS) Now, let's go.

Oh!

- Who are you? - Who are you?

BOTH: Who are we? What are we doing here?

And what's that thing around your neck?

It's a sign.

- What does it say? - I don't know. I can't read.

I can't read upside down.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

This piece of paper says, we're Porky and Daffy,

and we're trying to find King Bugs.

You're Porky and I must be Daffy.

Wait I think you're Porky because you're a pig.

If I'm Porky and you're Daffy,

then who's this King Bugs character?

-(BOTH SHRIEKING) - Trollum can help you find King Bugsies.

Who are you?

I am Trollum.

You must help me find the freshness.

I know what you want. You want fresh air.

We gotta get him out of this cave.

Follow us!

Sweet, precious...

Freshness!

Wait a minute. I'm not Trollum.

I'm King Bugs.

Heir to the House of Carrots.

Oh, my gosh. It is King Bugs.

Sheesh! I guess we got thrown off by that creepy voice he was doing.

I remember everything.

The evil King ambushed me and stole my throne.

Now, we have to storm the castle and take it back.

All right men, ready?

Charge!

Ahhh!

ALL: Charge!

ALL: Charge!

ALL: Charge!

(PANTING)

You guys remember how to get to the castle?

Hey, I see smoke.

Maybe there's a village nearby where we can ask for directions.

(GROWLING)

Yikes.

(GROWLING)

Well, well, well.

If it isn't former King Bugs and the village halfwits.

We're the entire country's halfwits.

Yeah, that's a lot more people.

You stole the crown from me and I'm getting it back.

I stole it fair and square.

Just like I stole these dragons fair and square.

I hope you boys like breakfast,

because you're about to be French toast.

So long, suckers.

What are we gonna do?

I know what I'm gonna do.

Run!

(EXCLAIMING HISTERICALLY)

-(GROWLS) -(EXCLAIMING NERVOUSLY)

(LAUGHING)

Wait a second.

That's it! The dragons are ticklish.

Go for the armpits, the ribs,

the bottom of their feet.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(SLURPS)

Say, once you tickle em'. These dragons are actually pretty friendly.

Would you like to help us get my kingdom back?

Then tonight we ride!

Hey, Boss? What colors were you're dragons again?

Raging red, mean green and periwinkle blue. Why?

'Cause I think they're attacking the castle.

Out of my way.

They done broke my dragons.

Fortunately for me,

I dragon proofed my castle.

Launch the catapults!

BUGS: They shootin' banana cream pies at us.

The dragons seem to really like 'em.

It's a well known fact that dragons love...

Banana cream pies.

Guys, stop eating the pies.

You're gonna sugar crash.

(GRUNTS)

Wake up you lazy dragons!

We waited the whole story for the dragons to show up,

and you guys get two minutes of screen time.

It's no use. The dragons are in their sugar coma.

Don't worry, guys, we'll tunnel, under the walls. Follow me.

Phew! Your old righteous and just king almost reclaimed the throne.

But no worry. I stopped him.

(CLAPPING WEAKLY)

(CLAPPING LOUDER)

BUGS: Not so fast, Sam.

I'll be taking that crown back now.

(CHEERING)

Nice try, Rabbit.

According to the laws I wrote and passed when no one was paying attention,

the only way you can become king again

is to beat me in a game of thrones.

(CROWD GASPING)

Game of thrones?

What's this game of thrones?

It's a game with thrones.

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

Would you mind holding my sword while I grab something?

- Sure, Doc. - Thank you kindly.

The game of thrones is the most dangerous competition ever invented.

A cruel and barbaric display of violence and mayhem.

The game of thrones is not for the faint of heart.

A gruesome spectacle, a sordid affair so odious...

Just tell him how to play the game!

Pushy.

Two challengers battle for control of the royal throne, yada yada yada...

Whoever finds themselves seated in the throne after the battle has ended wins.

(PLAYING GENTLE MUSIC)

King Bugs is the winner!

(CROWD CHEERING)

I'll be taking that back. Thank you.

There's no way I'm gonna lose.

(GROWLING)

Tis' I, Lola, Aunty of Dragons.

Yowza! How do I become an uncle of dragons?

You have stolen my babies.

And I've come to get them back.

Where are they anyways?

They're outside. They ate a little too much banana cream pie.

What? They're not allowed to eat dessert before dinner.

Who's responsible for this?

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Dragon, give this knave a spanking.

(GROWLS)

(YELPING) Ow, my biscuits.

Anyone harms my dragons again,

they will taste my fury.

Lovely kingdom you have by the way.

If you're across the Narrow sea,

just give me a ring and maybe we can hang out or something.

NARRATOR: And so, order was restored to the kingdom.

The sun was shining.

The crops were plentiful.

Smiles returned to the faces of the people.

And there was dancing in the streets, all thanks to King Bugs.

Wait, where are you going?

What good is a kingdom like this if I don't have someone to share it with?

NARRATOR: And so, a new quest was born.

Who am I? Where am I?

What in the blazes am I doing here?

That's all folks. What folks?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)