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1
00:00:01,017 --> 00:00:03,000
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:23,005 --> 00:00:24,019
(GUNSHOTS)
3
00:00:26,013 --> 00:00:28,010
It's me, Yosemite Sam,
4
00:00:28,012 --> 00:00:30,020
the greatest train robber
that ever lived.
5
00:00:30,022 --> 00:00:33,022
And I'm here to rob
this fancy new train.
6
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,018
All righty, sir.
Have you got a ticket?
7
00:00:36,020 --> 00:00:38,019
Get that dust
out of your ears, old timer.
8
00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:40,014
Did you hear me say who I am?
9
00:00:40,016 --> 00:00:43,007
I ain't ridin' this train,
I'm robbin' it.
10
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:46,019
Oh, not this train, fella.
This here is a bullet train.
11
00:00:46,021 --> 00:00:48,009
Too fast to rob.
12
00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:50,023
There ain't a train that been
invented that I can't rob.
13
00:00:51,001 --> 00:00:52,007
What time's it a-comin'?
14
00:00:52,009 --> 00:00:53,009
Noon.
15
00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:57,004
- High noon, perfect.
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
16
00:01:02,015 --> 00:01:05,011
- So, where is it?
- It just went by.
17
00:01:05,013 --> 00:01:06,016
"Just went by"?
18
00:01:06,018 --> 00:01:09,017
I didn't see nothing.
(GROANS)
19
00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:12,006
- That's the 12:01.
-(GROANS)
20
00:01:13,023 --> 00:01:16,016
(BLUBBERING) 12:01?
What time's the next one?
21
00:01:16,018 --> 00:01:17,021
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
- Ugh!
22
00:01:18,021 --> 00:01:20,021
That's the 12:02.
23
00:01:20,023 --> 00:01:22,021
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
-(GROANS)
24
00:01:24,013 --> 00:01:27,006
- That's the 12:03.
- Ugh...
25
00:01:27,008 --> 00:01:28,008
(BLUBBERING)
26
00:01:28,010 --> 00:01:30,009
Are there any more?
27
00:01:30,011 --> 00:01:32,006
- Nope.
- Phew!
28
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,010
-(GROANS)
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
29
00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:37,009
Until the 12:04.
30
00:01:40,023 --> 00:01:42,022
If you wanna go as fast
as a bullet train,
31
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,016
you gotta be a bullet.
32
00:01:44,018 --> 00:01:46,023
(TRAIN BEEPS)
33
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:50,009
There she blows! Yee...
34
00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:51,013
(LOUD BANG)
35
00:01:51,015 --> 00:01:53,001
...haw.
36
00:01:53,003 --> 00:01:55,002
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
37
00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:58,020
Why are folks
still advertising
38
00:01:58,022 --> 00:02:01,000
on billy-boards
when you got the Internet?
39
00:02:01,002 --> 00:02:03,014
- Gall darn it!
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
40
00:02:05,003 --> 00:02:08,011
(MUMBLING)
41
00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:12,017
This time everything's
gonna go...
42
00:02:12,019 --> 00:02:14,016
(GROANS)
43
00:02:14,018 --> 00:02:16,020
Consarn it!
(GRUNTS)
44
00:02:16,022 --> 00:02:18,005
Hmm, no good helmet!
45
00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:19,014
(TRAIN BEEPS)
46
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:25,002
Razzle-frazzle,
brick building, no-good...
47
00:02:25,004 --> 00:02:26,005
(CHUCKLES)
48
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:27,008
(GROANS)
49
00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:31,019
Oh, you, consarn it!
50
00:02:31,021 --> 00:02:34,002
-(SCREAMS)
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
51
00:02:36,006 --> 00:02:37,017
Whoa! (GROANS)
52
00:02:37,019 --> 00:02:38,021
Huh-uh.
53
00:02:38,023 --> 00:02:41,006
It's not too late.
It's coming back.
54
00:02:41,008 --> 00:02:44,010
Just gotta point the cannon
in the other direction.
55
00:02:44,012 --> 00:02:47,009
Whoa! (GROANING)
56
00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:51,009
You sure you don't wanna
just buy a ticket?
57
00:02:51,011 --> 00:02:52,020
(GROANS)
58
00:02:55,018 --> 00:02:57,001
(LAUGHS)
59
00:02:57,003 --> 00:02:59,010
If I can't get onboard
this here train,
60
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,006
I'll blow it to smithereens.
61
00:03:01,008 --> 00:03:02,022
-(TRAIN HALTS)
-(DYNAMITE TICKING)
62
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,005
Huh?
63
00:03:04,007 --> 00:03:06,000
What the...
64
00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:08,012
Oh, you no-good
razzle-frazzle...
65
00:03:08,014 --> 00:03:09,018
(GROANS)
66
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:11,003
-(MUTTERS)
-(DYNAMITE EXPLODES)
67
00:03:11,005 --> 00:03:12,014
No-good dynamite...
68
00:03:12,016 --> 00:03:15,000
-(DYNAMITE EXPLODES)
-(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
69
00:03:15,022 --> 00:03:19,003
(TRAIN BEEPS)
70
00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:20,022
If at first you don't succeed,
71
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,004
try a rocket-powered
motorcycle.
72
00:03:23,006 --> 00:03:25,009
(TRAIN BEEPS)
73
00:03:25,011 --> 00:03:27,019
(ENGINE REVVING)
74
00:03:31,013 --> 00:03:32,021
(BUTTON CLICKS)
75
00:03:38,004 --> 00:03:39,006
(YOSEMITE SAM LAUGHS)
76
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,008
Here she comes now.
77
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:46,016
(SNIGGERING)
78
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,019
(TRAIN BEEPS)
79
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,001
The old ball and train gag.
80
00:03:51,003 --> 00:03:52,005
(GROANS)
81
00:03:52,007 --> 00:03:56,003
I did not see that...
Come on, now!
82
00:03:56,021 --> 00:03:58,004
(GROANS)
83
00:03:58,006 --> 00:04:00,023
I know what I'll do.
I'll jump on top of the
train.
84
00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:04,004
This will require
impeccable timing.
85
00:04:04,006 --> 00:04:06,001
One... two...
86
00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:07,019
No! (GROANS)
87
00:04:07,021 --> 00:04:09,023
No, no, no, no!
Ow!
88
00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:11,008
(GROANING)
89
00:04:11,010 --> 00:04:12,016
(TRAIN BEEPS)
90
00:04:13,018 --> 00:04:15,018
(GROANING)
91
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:17,022
Ow, my biscuits!
92
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,023
(SIGHS) Okay,
that was a tad early.
93
00:04:21,001 --> 00:04:23,016
This time,
I'll get it just right.
94
00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:24,021
- Hu-ha!
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
95
00:04:24,023 --> 00:04:27,015
Yosemite Sam
has done it... Ugh!
96
00:04:28,022 --> 00:04:31,000
(GROGGILY) Tunnel.
97
00:04:31,002 --> 00:04:32,002
(THUD)
98
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,018
(GROANS)
99
00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:36,021
(TRAIN BEEPS)
100
00:04:38,005 --> 00:04:40,017
What is happening?
101
00:04:40,019 --> 00:04:42,008
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
-(GROANS)
102
00:04:46,007 --> 00:04:47,023
Come on, come on!
103
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:49,008
(TRAIN BEEPS)
104
00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:51,002
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
105
00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:56,023
(GROANS) Ooh!
106
00:04:59,023 --> 00:05:04,001
All right,
I'll buy my ticket.
107
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:08,009
And then, I'mma rob it
from the inside.
108
00:05:08,011 --> 00:05:10,011
Can you break a 100?
109
00:05:10,013 --> 00:05:12,004
Nope.
110
00:05:12,006 --> 00:05:16,003
Razzle-frazzle!
Lousy transportation
industry!
111
00:05:18,014 --> 00:05:21,006
(YOSEMITE SAM COUGHS)
112
00:05:21,008 --> 00:05:23,017
- BUGS: Ticket, please?
- Here.
113
00:05:23,019 --> 00:05:26,004
Thank you very much, Doc.
114
00:05:26,006 --> 00:05:27,009
(BLUBBERING) You?
115
00:05:27,011 --> 00:05:29,008
You're the one
driving this train?
116
00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:31,017
That's right, Doc.
Next time you wanna rob me,
117
00:05:31,019 --> 00:05:33,019
I would train first.
118
00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:36,008
Now, let me just stash
your belongings.
119
00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:37,023
-(TRAIN BEEPS)
-(SCREAMS)
120
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,008
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
121
00:05:45,021 --> 00:05:47,006
(STAMMERS)
Thanks for calling.
122
00:05:47,008 --> 00:05:50,004
Porky Pig speaking.
How can I help you?
123
00:05:50,006 --> 00:05:51,017
Oh, I'm extremely sorry.
124
00:05:51,019 --> 00:05:53,010
We don't have any openings
until after the...
125
00:05:53,012 --> 00:05:55,002
(STAMMERS) ...the 21st.
126
00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,014
Yes, that's century.
127
00:05:56,016 --> 00:05:58,013
MAN: Hey, Porky the Pig!
128
00:05:58,015 --> 00:05:59,018
Yes, I'm coming!
129
00:05:59,020 --> 00:06:01,008
(PANTING)
130
00:06:03,008 --> 00:06:05,010
- Yes, sir.
- The menu is done.
131
00:06:05,012 --> 00:06:07,000
Everything is perfecto!
132
00:06:07,002 --> 00:06:09,005
The restaurant,
she opens in 30 minutes.
133
00:06:09,007 --> 00:06:11,013
So I'm gonna go foraging
for mushrooms.
134
00:06:11,015 --> 00:06:13,015
Keep your eyes peeled
for deliveries.
135
00:06:13,017 --> 00:06:16,001
And don't
mess up the place, huh?
136
00:06:16,003 --> 00:06:17,011
I'm just kidding you.
137
00:06:17,013 --> 00:06:19,019
I know
you're a good little piggy.
138
00:06:19,021 --> 00:06:22,018
(MENACINGLY)
Aren't you, Piggy?
139
00:06:22,020 --> 00:06:24,016
Aren't you?
140
00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:27,006
All right now, Porky.
141
00:06:27,008 --> 00:06:30,000
No need to be nerv...
(STAMMERING)
142
00:06:31,009 --> 00:06:32,009
Just calm down.
143
00:06:32,011 --> 00:06:34,023
-(KNOCK ON DOOR)
-(SQUEALS)
144
00:06:35,001 --> 00:06:38,020
VOICE FROM BOX:
Help! Help! Let me out!
(WHIMPERS)
145
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,020
Gee, now that's fresh.
146
00:06:40,022 --> 00:06:42,015
Thanks, pal.
147
00:06:42,017 --> 00:06:43,023
I almost suffocated in there.
148
00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:47,000
Oh, dear. We couldn't
have you suffocate
149
00:06:47,002 --> 00:06:49,002
before we have you for dinner.
150
00:06:49,004 --> 00:06:52,008
Now, that is what
I'm talking about, dinner!
151
00:06:52,010 --> 00:06:53,021
Set me up, bub!
152
00:06:53,023 --> 00:06:55,007
I'm starving.
153
00:06:55,009 --> 00:06:59,001
Oh, you're not having dinner.
You are dinner, see?
154
00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:01,006
But, they told me
I was heading
155
00:07:01,008 --> 00:07:02,020
to a relaxing spa weekend
156
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:07,004
at an animal sanctuary
because I'm so special.
157
00:07:07,006 --> 00:07:08,013
(STAMMERING) No, no, no.
158
00:07:08,015 --> 00:07:11,016
Animal Sanctuary
is the name of the
restaurant.
159
00:07:11,018 --> 00:07:14,022
- And you're the special.
- So that's how it is?
160
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,011
I gotta say,
that idea is all wet!
161
00:07:18,013 --> 00:07:20,008
(CHEERS MANICALLY)
162
00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:21,021
(STAMMERS) Come back!
163
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:23,023
You're the main course.
164
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:26,022
- Well, I say, "Nuts to
that!"
-(CHOKING)
165
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,011
How's about a little fiber
in your diet? Whoo-hoo!
166
00:07:30,013 --> 00:07:32,001
(EXCLAIMING)
167
00:07:33,009 --> 00:07:36,016
Greetings. Welcome
to Animal Sanctuary.
168
00:07:36,018 --> 00:07:38,018
Hey! That podium is not a toy.
169
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:42,017
-(STAMMERS)
Get your own, Duck.
- This one's mine.
170
00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:46,013
-(PANTS)
All right, now see here.
- Honk, honk.
171
00:07:46,015 --> 00:07:48,023
(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)
Just gimme that!
172
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:52,001
Who's the pig I gotta grease
to get a table around here?
173
00:07:52,003 --> 00:07:54,005
(STAMMERS)
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
174
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,009
I'll seat you immediate...
175
00:07:55,011 --> 00:07:58,006
(STAMMERING) ...promptly.
176
00:08:00,005 --> 00:08:01,017
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
I've been here 15 minutes,
177
00:08:01,019 --> 00:08:03,018
and I have
yet to receive a menu.
178
00:08:03,020 --> 00:08:06,017
Oh... (STAMMERS)
Sorry, ma'am.
179
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:09,003
Thank you.
180
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:12,009
Garcon!
There are flies in my soup.
181
00:08:12,011 --> 00:08:13,021
My apologies, sir. I...
182
00:08:13,023 --> 00:08:16,022
I ordered crickets,
and I didn't even order soup!
183
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,014
Listen here, buckaroo!
If you can't fill me up
soon,
184
00:08:20,016 --> 00:08:22,019
I'm gonna fill you up
with lead.
185
00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,021
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
186
00:08:23,023 --> 00:08:26,005
(STAMMERS) In a moment, sir.
187
00:08:26,007 --> 00:08:29,004
(ALL SPEAKING TOGETHER)
188
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:33,016
- Hey there, chuckles!
- Huh.
189
00:08:33,018 --> 00:08:35,013
You look like a man
who eats alone.
190
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:38,011
I've got
the perfect spot for you.
191
00:08:38,013 --> 00:08:40,016
Here we are.
Table for one.
192
00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:44,002
And I assume
you won't be needing
this chair...
193
00:08:44,004 --> 00:08:47,000
- or this table.
-(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
194
00:08:49,013 --> 00:08:51,013
-(SHRIEKS) Ow!
- Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!
195
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:55,009
Welcome to the john, ham.
196
00:08:55,011 --> 00:08:57,014
Would you care
for some talcum powder?
197
00:08:57,016 --> 00:08:58,021
(INHALES SHARPLY)
198
00:08:58,023 --> 00:09:02,001
-(COUGHS AND GRUNTS)
- Maybe some cologne.
199
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:04,020
Perhaps a mint.
200
00:09:06,009 --> 00:09:09,011
(SCREAMS) Stop!
You're not the...
201
00:09:09,013 --> 00:09:12,004
(STAMMERS) You're not
the bathroom attendant.
202
00:09:12,006 --> 00:09:15,015
You're the duck
we're serving for dinner.
203
00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:19,011
Tsk-tsk-tsk.
204
00:09:19,013 --> 00:09:22,015
I have worked here
for eight years
205
00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:24,019
and you don't even know me?
206
00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:28,022
I guess to you,
all us ducks
look the same.
207
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,003
- Then, where did he go?
- I'd try door number one.
208
00:09:33,005 --> 00:09:35,001
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Privacy, please!
209
00:09:35,003 --> 00:09:37,015
(STAMMERS)
There's no time for privacy.
210
00:09:37,017 --> 00:09:39,005
Where is the rest of him?
211
00:09:40,008 --> 00:09:42,013
Well, now I'm just puzzled.
212
00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:47,002
- You look a little flushed.
- Ah...
213
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:50,002
(EXCLAIMS)
It really was me.
214
00:09:50,018 --> 00:09:51,018
(EXCLAIMS)
215
00:09:54,022 --> 00:09:58,012
All right, you!
Time to get in the pan!
216
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,019
No, it's time for you
to get in the pan.
217
00:10:01,021 --> 00:10:03,011
(EXCLAIMING)
218
00:10:03,013 --> 00:10:05,014
Okay, folks.
There's 50 ways
to cook a pig.
219
00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:08,014
You can bake it, broil it,
grill it, braise it,
pickle it, tickle it...
220
00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:10,001
Do as you please with it.
221
00:10:10,003 --> 00:10:13,014
My restaurant, it's trashed!
222
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:16,019
Porky, you're fired!
223
00:10:16,021 --> 00:10:20,004
(STAMMERS) Fired?
224
00:10:20,006 --> 00:10:24,007
(SOBBING)
225
00:10:24,009 --> 00:10:28,004
Wait, you're the one
who wants to make me
for dinner?
226
00:10:28,006 --> 00:10:31,003
But, of course,
it's called Animal Sanctuary.
227
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:34,021
It's a nice, quiet place
you can come and eat animals.
228
00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:37,001
But now it is ruined!
229
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:40,007
Brother, you are
one hot-blooded chef.
230
00:10:41,009 --> 00:10:42,023
You need to chill out.
231
00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:44,020
Whoo-hoo!
232
00:10:44,022 --> 00:10:47,021
Now, that's what I call
Italian ice.
233
00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:49,021
Whoo-hoo!
234
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,005
What are we gonna do now?
235
00:10:51,007 --> 00:10:52,008
What do you say
we open up
236
00:10:52,010 --> 00:10:53,017
a vegetarian joint together?
237
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:57,005
(STAMMERS)
You got a... Shake on it.
238
00:10:57,007 --> 00:10:59,013
Well, I guess,
that's all, folks.
239
00:10:59,015 --> 00:11:02,019
- Hey, that's my line...
- Shh.
16137
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