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1
00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:03,378
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:26,735
Okay, okay, just a few
more jokes before
I best be heading out.
3
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,112
"Beheading"?
I'm not talking to you, pal.
4
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,489
This guy takes his job
super seriously.
5
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,992
You mess with him,
heads will roll.
6
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:36,619
-(YELPS)
- Delight, ye folk,
one and all!
7
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:42,000
It is I, Sir Littlechin,
triumphantly returning
from another epic contest,
8
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:46,337
- after 12 fortnights.
-"Fortnights"?
English, please!
9
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,465
(CROWD LAUGHS)
10
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,383
Ooh, a fortnight
is two weeks.
11
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,302
"Two weeks"!
My goodness.
12
00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,971
What's twelve times four,
plus the square root
of Pi, that's...
13
00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:58,099
That's almost six months!
Took you long enough.
14
00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,769
(CROWD LAUGHING)
15
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,855
Ahem! Do you mind?
16
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,900
Please. Regale us about
this epic contest.
17
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:10,487
Well! There I was,
at the mouth of the cave...
18
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:13,156
Cut to the chase!
Were you successful?
19
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,825
(GROANS) If you weren't
such a fool, you'd know
20
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:20,830
- I am always successful
in any contest.
- Any contest?
21
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,041
What about Miss Idaho, 2016?
22
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,542
(CROWD LAUGHING)
23
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:30,423
Enough! Dirk and I
don't find you amusing.
24
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,008
"Dirk"? Who's Dirk?
25
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:34,302
My sword.
26
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,013
You named your sword?
27
00:01:37,096 --> 00:01:42,519
Yes. Dirk is my best friend,
he's always at my side.
(SMOOCHING)
28
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:45,730
(LAUGHING) Okay.
You think that's weird?
29
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,608
When you ask him
about his horse, he says
"It's complicated."
30
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:50,193
(CROWD LAUGHING)
31
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,530
So let me guess, these must be
the twins, Maxwell and Tybalt.
32
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:57,951
And Aunt Rose.
I haven't see you since
the gauntlet run. (KISSES)
33
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,329
-(CROWD LAUGHING)
-(SIR LITTLECHIN GROWLING)
34
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,498
Well that's my time,
you've all been
a wonderful crowd.
35
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:07,710
I'll be back for my second set
in one one-hundredths
of a fortnight.
36
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,922
- Uh-huh, right.
Uh-huh. No way!
-(INDISTINCT TALKING ON PHONE)
37
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:15,051
Of course!
I was killing 'em out there,
Jackie, killing 'em! Phew.
38
00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:18,388
Okay, you got it Jackie,
talk to you soon.
39
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,725
Can I help you, buster?
40
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,687
You mocked me, jester!
41
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:30,149
I am the greatest
swordsman in all the land,
and I will not be mocked!
42
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,694
Don't you mean, you and Dirk
will not be mocked?
43
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,279
(GROANS)
44
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:36,656
That's it!
I challenge you to a...
45
00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:38,157
Hey, wait a minute!
46
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,909
- A duel?
- Yes, but you
didn't let me finish.
47
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,828
Oh, by all means, continue.
48
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,289
Thank you. As I was saying,
I challenge you to a...
49
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:45,456
A duel?
50
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,916
- Stop that!
- Stop what?
51
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,209
You're hitting me
just before I say the word...
52
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,587
- A duel?
-(GROANS)
53
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:56,426
Let me explain how
this works. In order to
challenge you to a... (GASPS)
54
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,052
(STAMMERING) To a, uh...
55
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:03,141
...a confrontation...
56
00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,477
I need to take off my glove
and slap you in the face.
57
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:07,896
- Like this?
-(YELPS)
58
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,063
I challenge you to...
59
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,773
- A duel!
- Ah! Oh! Ugh! Argh!
60
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:14,569
- Like that?
- Yes. Exactly.
Now give me that glove...
61
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,988
(SCREAMS) Come on, that time
I didn't even say...
62
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,907
-(GRUNTS)
- A duel?
63
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:23,077
Look! If you won't hand me
the glove, how can I
challenge you to a...
64
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:26,080
To a... (GROANS)
65
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:27,874
Say it.
66
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,460
To a duel.
67
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,463
Listen bub,
you don't need a glove
to challenge me,
68
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,632
you can use a bass!
69
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,426
- How about a barbecue?
-(GROANS)
70
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:41,095
- Or a bazooka?
-(SCREAMS)
71
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,513
So, you wanna duel?
72
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:48,519
Dirk and I accept.
73
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:52,398
(GROANS) Tonight
we dine on duck.
74
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,192
Tally-ho!
75
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:58,321
Hold it right there.
Wouldst thou allow me
a moment, good knight,
76
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,324
to don
the satisfactory regalia?
77
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,409
Of course,
of course, your armor.
78
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:08,164
'Tis a knight's code to never
engage the enemy
when they are ill-prepared.
79
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:11,668
'-Just let me know
when you're ready.
-(CLOTHES RUSTLING)
80
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,295
Okay. How do I look?
81
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,965
(CHUCKLING) Why,
you look splendid.
82
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,884
Well, off to my knight shift.
83
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,178
(EXCLAIMS) Ah!
He gave me the slip.
84
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,763
(GIGGLING)
85
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,558
En garde!
86
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,602
(GIGGLING)
87
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,188
(GRUNTING)
88
00:04:32,271 --> 00:04:34,857
Our world-famous
chopped salad.
89
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:38,277
Hope you like fast food!
(GIGGLING)
90
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:40,613
(GAGGING)
91
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,616
(GRUNTS)
92
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,538
(GIGGLING)
93
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:52,583
(YELLS)
94
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,253
(SCREAMING)
95
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,756
What what what?
That's my horse!
96
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,384
-(NEIGHS)
- Horse thief.
Give it to me.
97
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,220
Oh, I'm gonna
give it to him all right.
98
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,972
All you had to do was ask.
99
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:10,727
At last, we finish
this duel on my own turf.
100
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,229
Squires! Bring me my...
101
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:15,982
You leave me
no choice but to...
102
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:18,735
(GASPS) My Dirk!
103
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:23,031
(MOANING) Yet another
triumphant contest.
104
00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,824
-(CRASHES)
-(THUDS)
105
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:28,786
Sometimes Mommy
makes me cinnamon
toast before night-night.
106
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:29,871
(GROANS)
107
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,915
(CROWD LAUGHING)
108
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,084
Don't quit your knight job.
109
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:39,422
Dirk, I think this is
the beginning of
a beautiful friendship.
110
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:47,889
Well, well, well,
111
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,559
it all comes down
to this final shot.
112
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,437
This one's for all the nuts.
113
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,607
I guess you could call it,
"all or nuttin'"!
114
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,234
(EXCLAIMS)
115
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,529
Aww, too bad.
116
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,614
(GROANS)
117
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:08,951
(LAUGHING)
118
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,663
Better luck next time.
I'll beat you again,
if you want.
119
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:15,625
But you're all out of nuts,
so why bother?
120
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,085
(LAUGHING)
121
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,463
BUGS: Hey.
122
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,757
Why don't you pick on
someone your own size?
123
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:27,637
If you wanna play,
you gotta have something
to play for.
124
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,182
- How about this?
- That ain't no good here.
125
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,893
I'm talking nuts,
lots of nuts.
126
00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,603
-(GRUNTS)
- Is that enough?
127
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,980
Yeah. That'll do.
128
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,650
All right, Squeaks,
rack 'em up.
129
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,527
Brought you own pool cue, huh?
130
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,154
Of course. I never
leave home without it.
131
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,199
Oops. (CHUCKLES)
Wrong pool. Here we go.
132
00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:50,284
(CHIRPS)
133
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,622
That's better.
134
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,332
- Don't... Miss!
-(YELPS)
135
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:58,042
Huh? Oi...
136
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,545
(LAUGHING)
137
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,463
What the... What?
138
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,220
(POOL BALLS KNOCKING)
139
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:13,516
Oops, they all went in
at the beginning,
is that okay?
140
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:17,145
You hustled me!
You ain't leaving
till I beat you.
141
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,856
And I'm breaking this time.
142
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:22,984
- Now watch this.
- Call your shot.
143
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,861
You don't call
your shot on a break!
144
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,864
Maybe not
for a novice like you,
but for us professionals...
145
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:31,868
Hey, I am a professional!
One in the corner pocket.
146
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:38,332
- Oh, so close.
Now it's my turn.
-(GROWLING)
147
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,459
Eleven-ball
in the corner pocket.
148
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:44,046
Thirteen in the side.
149
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,716
Wait a minute.
That ball didn't
go in the side pocket.
150
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:50,303
I didn't specify which one.
Check your side pocket.
151
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:53,055
What the? Okay...
152
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:57,518
- This time you
play me blindfolded.
- If you insist.
153
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,231
Ah, ah, ah, no peeking.
154
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:06,319
No, I'm not supposed to wear
the blindfold. You are!
155
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:09,363
No way! That's impossible.
How could I see?
156
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,742
-(SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
- Now, nine bows to the ten
and swings to the corner.
157
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,952
Thirteen and twelve,
do-si-do to the side.
158
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,121
Fourteen and eight,
promenade to the corner.
159
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,582
And skip to the lou
my darling!
160
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:24,337
All right, no more
messing around.
Best outta three.
161
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:27,924
- But I beat you twice already.
- I meant best outta five!
162
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,927
And this time,
I choose the cues.
163
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,805
This one's mine,
and this one's yours.
164
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,849
This cue is
as crooked as he is.
165
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,519
-(LAUGHING)
-(WHIMPERING)
166
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,355
(MOCK LAUGHING)
167
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:44,440
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
168
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:51,697
- Ooh, this cane's
got some sugar.
- Gimme that thing.
169
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:55,576
All right. I'm gonna
show him how it's... Ow!
170
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,579
Wow, doc, that last
sure was a knockout!
171
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:02,500
- Lemme give you another cue,
the cue to leave.
-(GRUNTING)
172
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:08,464
All right, I've had it!
One final game.
Winner takes all the nuts.
173
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,133
So, lemme get this straight,
winner wins?
174
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,970
- Yes, winner wins.
- For all the nuts?
175
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,097
Winner wins all the nuts.
176
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,224
- All of them?
- Yes!
177
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,601
- For all the nuts?
- Yes!
178
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,562
Your loss, pal.
179
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:26,399
I'm gonna have to pull out
all the stops, if I'm gonna
beat this rabbit.
180
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,901
-(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
-(SNAPS FINGERS)
181
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,405
(LOUD DRUMMING)
182
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,449
(REVVING)
183
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:38,953
(AIR HORN BLOWING)
184
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,249
Hmm. This is gonna be tricky.
185
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,626
-(SQUEAKS)
- That shot's impossible!
186
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:50,381
The nine-ball's gotta go in
before the eight-ball,
or you lose!
187
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,717
Then I guess I better
make this shot count.
188
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,805
- Ha ha! You missed!
- Did I?
189
00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:05,229
Huh?
190
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:12,570
- And eight-ball
in the corner pocket.
-(SQUEAKS TRIUMPHANTLY)
191
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:16,574
I will not be made a fool of
in my own pool hall!
192
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,664
- Enough.
- BYSTANDERS: (MURMURING)
Oh! It's Rats.
193
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:29,795
Holy smokes, is it really him?
Minnesota Rats, the greatest
pool player who ever lived?
194
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:35,217
I've been watching these
events unfold, and frankly,
I'm disappointed.
195
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:40,931
You don't play fair,
and that ain't right.
Ramses, show him the door.
196
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,184
-(CRASHES)
- SHIFTY: Ow!
197
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,686
- Now open it for him.
-(DOOR OPENS)
198
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,272
-(SHIFTY YELLING)
-(CRASHES)
199
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:53,486
Hey there, you're pretty good.
Care to join me for a game
at my reserve table?
200
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,489
Thanks, but no thanks.
I know when
I'm out of my league.
201
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:59,909
I'm gonna play in a real pool.
Come on, Squeaks.
202
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,619
(SQUEAKS HUMMING)
15263
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