Original subtitles

[keyboard clacking]

BEAUTIFUL PROGRAM THE MAGIC OF HACKING

[panting]

[video game beeping]

MISSION COMPLETE!

[Shion sighs] I'm done.

I can sleep for the first time in 80 hours.

[keyboard clacking]

[alert beeping]

EMERGENCY QUEST EVENT

Huh?

-[creature squeaking] -Damn it!

Just when I thought I was finally going to get some sleep...

[Shion] Who the hell are you?

[girl breathing heavily]

[chuckles softly]

Oh, crap!

Don't think you're not gonna pay for this.

[panting]

Ugh.

Huh?

[Shion] Hey!

Damn, it got away.

[girl sighs]

[giggles softly]

[♪ opening theme playing]

MISSION: YOZAKURA FAMILY

[door opens]

[Shion breathing heavily]

PLAN 6 BUG

[Taiyo] Oh, Big Sis Shion. Good morn...

Wait, are you all right?

[weakly] Good... Good morning.

Big Sis Shion, you pulled another all-nighter?

Yeah. Some weirdo hacked into the database yesterday.

They seemed to be going through only Taiyo's personal data.

[Taiyo and Mutsumi] Huh?

Well, not like they got anything important.

And I updated the security, so no worries. [yawns]

Still, I wonder how they snuck in

when nobody knows that access code except for us siblings?

I've got a really bad feeling about this.

But why would they try to steal your data and nothing else?

Who knows? Whatever the reason, it's creepy, don't you think?

[Mutsumi] Hmm?

[Taiyo] This way!

[panting]

Can't shake her!

[gasps]

[breath shaking] Oh, how powerful!

Who are you?

[girl gasps softly] Nice to meet you, Master Taiyo.

I love you.

Now please die!

Huh?

Oh!

What is it, Mutsumi?

[Mutsumi] Those assassination needles and that line!

Are you, by any chance, Ayaka Kirisaki, the Manhunter Spy?

The next time you call me that vulgar name "Manhunter"...

I'll stick a thousand needles in your eye!

A spy?

Well, yes. She's famous in a bad way.

She uses her spy techniques to shadow the men she's infatuated with,

then stabs them to death with needles.

She's a pro at tracking and assassination.

[Taiyo] So she's a crazy, evil stalker...

Wait, does that mean...

Yes! I fell in love with you at first sight!

It all started with a video on the Dark Web!

By now, the whole underworld has their eyes on you,

rookie of the Yozakura family, Master Taiyo!

And just the other day, a certain underworld company

put a $100,000 bounty on your head!

[Taiyo] Huh?

[Ayaka] Now that my beloved Master Taiyo's achievements have been recognized,

I can't stop my joyous tears from flowing!

[Taiyo] It's not joyous for me at all!

And why use a photo where I look like I'm about to sneeze?

But it worries me.

-[weapon whips] -[man screams]

[grunts]

[Ayaka] The bounty is causing more and more people

to want to kill you for impure reasons.

[Taiyo] What?

[chuckles maniacally] I've got to make you mine forever

before anyone can steal even a single hair off your head!

[Taiyo] What are you talking about? You're terrifying!

I know all about your hidden charms as well!

That you try not to step on the plants when you're infiltrating,

that you repair the buildings damaged in your missions,

and that when you need to take a free train ride, you buy a ticket later.

[Ayaka] Oh, you're too wonderful!

How do you know all that?

I totally get it.

You're agreeing with her?

[Ayaka] Now, then, Master Taiyo! Come to me now!

I understand where you're coming from, but I'm married to Mutsumi.

I can't allow myself to be killed.

Uh?

You would pick that ugly, wanton woman over me?

She must have brainwashed you. You poor thing!

Much as I'd like to dispatch her right this minute,

I can't, because I promised Kyoichiro.

Big Bro?

Yes. There's no way to target any Yozakura behind his back,

so I went to him on the off chance that I could negotiate a pass.

And then...

Taiyo? Do whatever you want to him.

[Ayaka] As long as I didn't put the third-born daughter, Mutsumi, in danger,

he agreed to look the other way.

[Taiyo and Mutsumi] That bastard.

[Ayaka] While I was at it, I asked him if I could peruse Master Taiyo's data...

Oh, sure, go ahead and look!

[Ayaka] ...and he gave me the access code!

[Taiyo and Mutsumi] That scumbag!

[Ayaka] All right, I'll be back later.

Until we meet again, Master Taiyo!

[grunts]

[sighing]

[breathing shakily]

[teacher] Uh, I know this is sudden,

but let me introduce our new transfer student.

My name is Ayaka Kirisaki.

It's so nice to meet you.

[students] Wow.

[boy] She's really cute!

[teacher] Right, so, Ms. Kirisaki, take a seat over there.

[Ayaka] All right!

Ugh.

[Ayaka] Oh!

[teacher] Are you all right, Ms. Kirisaki?

[chuckles sheepishly] Sorry about that.

[Taiyo] And so, my silent battle with my rabid fan began.

[bell ringing]

[Taiyo gasps]

[boy] There goes the ball!

What the...

How do you like how I seasoned it today?

Yeah, it's good.

[breathing heavily]

MATHEMATICS II

Why... Why won't you accept my feelings for you, Master Taiyo?

No... you need to keep fighting, Ayaka.

As long as you don't give up, surely he'll know how you feel!

[Ayaka] Needle Dolls!

What did you do?

I've injected them with a mind control poison.

It numbs their sense of self right away, turning them into my faithful servants.

[gasps]

All right, everyone! Subdue Master Taiyo!

[growling]

[Taiyo] Don't drag everyone into this!

[Ayaka] Why shouldn't I?

After all...

this whole world exists for you and me, Master Taiyo!

[Mutsumi] Come on, that's enough!

Undo what you did to them right now!

[chuckles] Oh, so futile.

Why don't you get out of the way?

Screw you, Needle Girl!

Damn you, getting in my way.

Knock it off!

[man screaming]

[Taiyo] Are you okay?

[Mutsumi] I'm all right. It just grazed me.

Why?

Huh?

Because it made me happy that someone else could see how great Taiyo is.

Though you do go about it in kind of an outrageous way.

[Ayaka gasps]

[♪ gentle music playing]

[Ayaka] So this is... true love.

I love you!

[Taiyo and Mutsumi] Huh?

[giggles] Lady Mutsumi, now! Now!

All right!

Say, "Ahh!"

Ahh!

Oh, how divine it tastes!

I wish I could turn into an ice cream cone and get eaten by you!

What are you talking about?

Mutsumi, how can you take that?

Well, if I just think of her as a mini-Big Bro...

Anyway, weren't you in love with Taiyo?

Of course!

That's why I want to kill my beloved Master Taiyo

and live happily ever after with my beloved Lady Mutsumi...

Wait. Uh...

[cell phone vibrates]

Huh?

SHION AUDIO

[Taiyo] Big Sis Shion?

MISSION: YOZAKURA FAMILY

MISSION: YOZAKURA FAMILY

The inaugural brand-new Shion's Game Room, Taiyo Edition...

Clap, clap!

Huh? What's happening here?

Taiyo, you've been ensnared at last.

Big Sis Shion is always grabbing someone to play with her.

Last week, didn't Big Bro Shinzo collapse after staying up five nights in a row?

[Taiyo] Seriously?

VICTORY

You can count on me to back you up!

[Goliath] Gol!

Is my life in danger?

Don't worry. We're just doing a trial run today, so it's no big deal.

All right, let the game begin.

[video game beeping]

[Taiyo] This seems kind of fishy.

[Shion] The rules are simple. When an enemy shows up...

[Taiyo] I've seen that face before!

[Shion] ...you defeat it and keep going.

[Taiyo] It's more graphic than it needs to be.

-[Shion] Got it? -[Taiyo] Uh, yes!

[Shion] Okay, then let's go!

[smack]

[Taiyo grunts]

[Shion] All right, we're taking on the boss next.

[Taiyo] Huh? Already?

[Shion] We've got to stop this bastard eldest son train.

[Taiyo] The design's so creepy!

If we lose, you'll get to see a super-realistic runover death scene.

[Taiyo] That I don't want to see!

[rumbling] [beep]

-All right, we cleared it. -[Mutsumi cheering]

[Taiyo] That wasn't satisfying at all.

Why are we doing this?

[female reporter] The runaway train has just come to a halt!

Huh?

Repeat, the runaway train has come to a sudden halt!

However, the reason it stopped is yet to be determined.

RUNAWAY TRAIN STOPPED

[Taiyo] No way...

[Shion] Yep, that's the story. I hack into the system of my target,

convert it into a game of my own making, and clear it.

That's how I get my work done.

A game with no saves or resets...

how thrilling is that?

[Shion] So anyway, I had you come here today...

to help me with an assignment that would be a hassle for me alone.

Some idiots who don't know how to protest properly

are about to crash this into a thermal power plant.

Today's mission is to thwart them.

[Taiyo] What?!

All right! Let's get started!

Huh? Hold up...

-Good luck! -[Goliath growls softly]

[♪ thrilling instrumental music playing]

[Shion] If we defeat that thing before it invades this area, we'll beat the game.

[Taiyo] Understood.

[Shion] This item will revive you just once.

I only have the one, so you hold on to it, just in case.

[Taiyo] Thanks.

[Shion] Okay, let's go!

[Taiyo straining]

Damn! What is this place? So complicated...

You're a sucky gamer, you know.

A spy needs to have this kind of precision...

Hey, I got through.

What?

[Shion] Noclip mode?!

[Shion] Invincible mode?!

Hey, you! Using glitches is what cowards do!

[Taiyo] I think I've made her mad.

Look out! It's close now!

[Shion] I'll show you how it's done.

This is a real gamer's technique!

The thing about security

is the more layers you pile on, the thicker the wall gets.

But the more dense and complex the wall,

the more vulnerable it is to security holes!

[both] Huh?

[chittering]

What the...

[Shion] Damn. So they had a trump card that not even the government knew about!

Okay, now that's too much for even me.

No way around it. I didn't want to use it because of where it is,

but with Shinzo's interception system...

I feel like there's still a way...

Huh?

[♪ whimsical music playing]

[Shion] We just revived the system

that we'd destroyed by force, using your glitch.

If anything interrupts the input for even a second, it'll come crashing down.

Seriously, reviving the enemy with a revival item so we can use it

is one crude tactic.

But, hey, I don't hate it.

Oh, crap.

Nice one.

Wait! It's that person!

Someone you know?

No, no, it's the one who was rifling through your data yesterday!

Back for more, huh?

[Taiyo and Mutsumi] It's Ayaka.

HACKING TECHNIQUES PROGRAMMING EXPLAINED

This time, I'm taking all of Master Taiyo's rare data for sure.

And if I get a chance, I'll help myself to some lovely photos of Lady Mutsumi, too!

Huh? Looks like I strayed into someplace weird.

Wait, what's going on?

[Shion] Not sure what's happening, but let's push through now!

[Taiyo] Right!

[groaning]

[video game beeps]

[whirring]

[Taiyo panting]

[exhales] It's over.

Good job!

[chuckles softly]

[exhales]

I have no clue what just went down, but thank goodness it's over now.

-[beep] -What?

[screams]

[sighs]

Thanks for your hard work!

Hey, good job.

Jeez, I can't believe you came up with that insane plan.

You know what, your brain must be glitching, too.

Is that a compliment?

But listen, I'm going to show you

that you can't get far in games on just glitches and cheats!

I'm not letting you out of this room until you've cleared all of these!

[Taiyo] Huh?

No way.

-[rooster crows] -It turned out to be...

-[groaning] -...a three-night stretch.

CONTINUE

[♪ ending theme playing]

NEXT TIME GOVERNMENT SPIES