Original subtitles

THIS MOVIE IS ENGLISH-DUBBED. Caption is provided by METALXONE. ENJOY.

"INSPECTOR CHAN"

"SUPER CRIME FIGHTERS"

Anyone else?

Such a beautiful young lady...

...and here she is, dragged into your station...

...just for spitting?

Is this what has become of justice?

Has democracy gone berserk?

Your boss is only Commissioner...

...because he pays his dues to the Crocodile Gang.

And still you morons treat me like this?

Sorry, we didn't know she was your wife.

Now you know, you ugly fuck!

Let's go...

What are you staring at? You want the address of my tailor?

With assets like yours...

...the movie theaters wouldn't be deserted on Sundays.

So where's the limo?

Back inside!

Call the guys!

Don't bother with that, Crocodile.

While you were chatting with the law, your men decided they'd rather sign up with us.

That's what you think! Go on boys, riddle his ass!

Wait, just a minute! Remember when you came to my house for dinner?

Big Boss.

Sir...

Please don't hurt me.

Not to worry.

I would never harm a lady. Run along, child!

You're too kind.

Lieutenant! Come down and clean up the mess!

"THE AXE GANG"

"In a time of social unrest and disorder...

...the gangs have moved in to consolidate their power.

The most feared of them all is the Axe Gang.

Only in the poorest districts, which hold no interest for the gangs...

...can people live in peace.

"PIG STY ALLEY"

One, two, three!

- Can you manage that, Coolie? - Easy!

"TAILOR"

"NOODLES AND CONGEE"

Donut... My check.

- How much? - It's all on the house!

Thank you, Donut.

- It's nothing. Not at all... - Yeah-yeah...See you...

- You know, I think I'll try to get the wife not to raise your rent this month. - You're too kind.

- Good day, Landlord! - Uh-huh...

Good morning, Landlord!

Wow! You sure have grown up all of a sudden!

Come visit me and let's play doctor!

Landlord! What a delight to see you.

What's so..? Laughing about it.

...and the goad!

It's too low! This slit has to be knotted just higher, at least...Can you handle that?

Oh, I can handle it.

Oh, look, a shooting star!

I thought you were a decent girl!

You monster! Right in front of the tailor's eyes!

Jane! I just wanna be friends! Come here...wait.

I was only joking! Don't people laugh? Jane!

Mrs Lam Queen!

Hey! Landlady!

Did you forget to pay you taxes? There's no more water down here!

Water doesn't just fall from the clouds, you know!

You've got a pretty big mouth for someone who's four months behind on his rent.

I was right in the middle of my monthly shampoo. I have a right to wash my hair.

Ahhh, you are a troublemaker!

From now on, no water on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

...and I'm rationing it, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays...and that's that!

I've had it with all your whining and complaining, as though everything to be free here, assholes!

A delightful good morning, Landlady!

Don't sweet talk me, you bum! You catch up on your rent or I'll burn your store down.

What? What's so funny? The same thing applies to you, you little faggot!

All rice and no brains! Why don't you get yourself a real job?

Months overdue and not even a lousy "good morning."

You're gonna end up being a coolie your whole life.

There's your shampoo, you little prick!

Hay...I wanted those for breakfast, not for dinner!

You see, there was this old woman... and I helped her across the street.

- And what are you doing here? - Someone was complaining about perverts watching the girls shower.

Did you see anyone?

What?! Don't point at me! You have no proof! Empty baseless accusations!

She is totally crazy...completely off her rocking chair.

Go away!

Can you teach me how to do that, sir?

Sure! Lesson one...

- Oh, who do I do? - My boss.

Have a seat.

- There! That's fifty cents. - Are you kidding?

A perfect little trim.

It's too stylish...

...makes him look way too slick...

...like a fruitcake.

Don't get all worked up, boss. He's an old buddy. Let me handle this.

He's boss of the notorious Axe Gang. See the tattoos on him? We're killers.

Chief commands respects that look like they come from the gutter. Got that?

- No. - Of course not! You're an idiot.

But I like you, so give me what's in the till, and we'll call it even.

Nuh-Uhhh!

Whoa oh, hold the axes, boss. He's about to see the light.

Look kid, I'm on your side. I'd hate to see your face gets pushed in. So how 'bout we settle for a little less?

Let's make it... ...enough for a couple of drinks.

Ahaaa, so your thing is extortion!

Hey, Boss!

Boss? Your Highness?

Ah, he always does that before he butchers someone!

He's thinking about the cruelest way to do it!

I am not afraid.

You may kill me, but thousands more will spring up...

...in my place!

You out there! If you wanna wake the Lord of The Axe Gang...

...you're welcome to take a step forward.

Ah...So you wanna be annihilated?

Alright! You all know the rules. It's one-at-a-time.

And I don't wanna see anyone trying to cheat.

You, the onion lady...come here!

Uh-huh, you think you're so tough? I'll tell you what... You take the first crack. Put it right here.

Do you lift weights?

No, honey...I raise cattle.

Lucky for you, you're important to the economy. Now get back in line.

Nutcase!

What? You watch your mouth.

Thank your style you're a woman, otherwise...

You, with your mouth hanging open! Yeah, you, shrimp! You look like you could use some sense knocked into your head. You wanna try?

Okaay...if there's one thing that really bugs the hell out of me, it's cheating.

Sit!

You, with glasses... You look mean enough. Come here!

Whoa whoa, back off. Whoever asked you? I was pointing at him over there.

You! Karate kid...

You look okay, let's see what you got!

No, no, I don't give lessons!

What? This can't be true. Not one of you is worth the effort.

You'd all be dead before I even touched you!

That's the one who tried to blackmail me.

So, fat woman, are you the boss around here, or what?

Fat woman, my ass!

Hey! I'm with the Axe Gang!

Axe Gang, my ass!

Boss!

Boss, my ass!

- I will sue you for this! - Sue me, my ass!

- How 'bout a date? - Date, my ass!

- A steak? - Steak, my ass!

You just wait! I'll call for backup!

Like anybody will back you up, you nitwit! I can hardly wait.

My forces are waiting. This will be the signal to charge.

They all will kick your ass! You might as well go buy yourself a coffin!

Who threw the firecracker?

Thanks for coming, brother. She did it.

What are you all gaping at?

It's going to rain. Go get your laundry off the line!

You!

Are you trying to blackmail me as well? Just forget it.

I...

How did I get in this barrel? Does anybody know?

My back...it's broken!

The gang...Call the gang!

Stay down!

Easy. How about a snack? Mixed mackerels?

Come here!

- Shut up! - Silence!

Okay, who did this?

I will count to three.

One...

...two...

It was me.

How's the stuff, Big Boss?

Sorry, Big Boss.

No big deal, don't worry about it, kid.

Feed him to the fish!

We're the bad guys! We're meant to do the killing!

...not the other way around!

Our reputation has been tarnished...

...because these two idiots pretended to be members of the Axe Gang!

Easy, Big Boss. You are upset. You might miss and get even angrier.

Anyhow, you are the boss here. Let your men do the dirty work.

Do the dirty work! Come on, have some tea.

- Boss, we got a lock-picker here. - Sorry, that's what I do for a living.

Alright, give the other one a shot, if you're so hot.

On your marks!

Now, you have 'til I count to three.

Chop-chop!

Ready? Three!

I am impressed...

Boss, I have always wanted to be a member of the famous Axe Gang. Please, give us a chance, boss.

Ever killed anybody?

Not yet, no...but I've always wanted to.

Then go out and kill someone.

That sounds like a great idea. Doesn't it?

Then, go.

Thank you so much.

A bum like that...can always come in handy.

I told you a hundred times, you have to look tougher.

No, much more than that!

You have to really act the part.

And try to stay awake, for once.

Tough is tiring.

So what? That is part of the job!

Take a look around you. The streets are paved with money and women.

A little will and determination is all it takes...

...to get your share. But you have to grab the opportunity.

This is our big chance!

All we have to do is kill someone, and we'll be like them.

We'll have all the women and money we want!

Not like those bugs back there... They have no ambitions...

...and no future. A bunch of losers!

What are you staring at, four-eyes? Want me to smash your glasses?!

Ay, go to hell with the rest of yous!

I dare you to say that again!

- You're really goin' to kill someone? - Of course I will!

I'm goin' to start with four-eyes here, and then the fat lady in Pig Sty Alley, and all her neighbors.

Yes, but their kung fu is unbeatable.

- Unbeatable? You haven't seen me fight yet. - Do you know kung fu?

Didn't I tell you I once learned the technic of Buddha's Palm?

Hey there, young man. Wait a minute.

Ooooh...Amazing! Amazing!

Do you know you have a very special aura about you?

Oh, you're still a child, but you have the bone structure...

and the chi flow of a kung fu genius.

If your chi flow can be channeled, then you will be invincible!

Remember the old saying: "You cannot escape your destiny."

The duty of upholding world peace and punishing evil will be yours.

Mmm-Hmmm.

Here! The Buddhist Palm manual of training.

It's priceless! But since this is fate, I can let you have it for $ 10.

BUDDHIST PALM MANUAL

- You gave him all the money you had? - Yes.

I had been saving it so I could become a surgeon or a lawyer one day...

...but this seemed like a chance to save the world.

Let her go!

Oh! Do-It-Yourself kung fu!

"The Whole Buddhist Palm for 20 Cents."

You must be loaded.

Have you killed anyone lately?

The total idiot, and the deaf-mute. What a bunch of losers!

I realized then that good guys never win. I want to be evil.

I want to be a ruthless killer!

- Let's get some ice cream! - Where?

Wait! Do you have vanilla?

I want chocolate.

What's the matter? Have you never seen an ice cream thief?

Catch us if you can!

You're such kung-fu masters, take your show on the road. You belong in a circus, not in a respectable neighborhood.

I never want to see you ugly faces again!

Don't be so hard on them. I'm sure they had a reason for doing what they did.

Everyone has his reasons...

...but causing trouble was the last thing we wanted.

Well, good for you! The Axe Gang is furious!

We'll never hear the end of this. Why don't you clowns just get lost?!

Why is it your wife is always so nasty?

Like a little massage?

Masters.

We have...nothing precious to offer...

...but our gratitude is infinite.

Thank you for saving us!

Enough sniffling! This isn't a funeral!

- How can you be so cold-hearted? - What's that? Keep your mouth shut!

You may be good at kung fu, but you're still a fairy!

Is it a crime to know kung fu?

Now "she's" gonna drown in "her" own tears. Once again, he's always a pansy.

...and what's with the red underwear? Is that so they can find your rear end at night?

You'll be better off in diapers.

What's wrong with red underwear?

When there was trouble, you simply took off, while these guys saved our butts...

...and now you're trying to chase them away. I'm grateful...and you should try to be more appreciative!

Of what? Every single one of you owes me back-rent.

$150, $200, $180... You! You owe me $95!

Now pay up, or pack up!

Don't you worry, guys. I'll pay the bill.

With what, tooth-fairy?

What's it to you, where I get my money? You fatso!

- You little bitch! - Look who's talking.

...leave her alone Landlady, quit acting like you own everybody!

- You keep out of this! This is all your fault! - Who do you think you are? You think you're so fair? A tyrant!

Look at her, she's turned her back.

She doesn't care if we all get killed as long as her...

Shut your mouth!

Anyone who thinks they can out-yell me had better think again.

The fat cow makes a lot of noise. I'm going to kill her.

Watch this!

What...happened?

Can you do better? Go on...try.

- To throw it? - Of course!

Sorry! Are you okay?

I think you should try going a little bit closer... ...and take better aim.

I got it!

- Who's throwing handles? - Buhhh...

Uhhh, who did this to you? It's missing a handle.

I know, but that doesn't make it feel any better.

We should check for fingerprints... Let's have a look.

- Ughh! - I'm sorry.

What are you trying to say?

I forgot that I have something important to take care of. See you later!

Oh no, she saw me.

Don't make a move!

Don't panic! Snakes are controllable. One little whistle, and they will freeze.

Please, spare me that.

Oh, what the hell!

You again, you pair of shits!

Go home! Get back to business! What are you standing around here for?

- Let's split up! - Split what?

Yes!!!

What are you doing here?

Waiting for you. Aren't you hurt?

I'm fine!

Where're the wounds? Did you see a doctor?

No, why?

- But where have you been? - I don't really know.

Maybe it's better that way.

Memories can be terribly painful. Being able to forget is a great blessing!

That's quite deep. You seemed to have learned a lot.

(Sigh) All the sorrows I've had to endure...

...have filled a river... ...and now all thoughts are sacred and pure.

Hey, get out of the way!

Yeah! Move!

Or I will kick your ass!

They look like grave diggers taking one of their customers for a walk.

What idiots!

I don't want to be blamed for making you leave.

So we will let Buddha decide, with your ancestors' spirits as witness...

It's all in the divining rods...

Good stick, you stay... Bad stick, you go...

HORRIFICALLY BAD FATE

Have some...

We are very glad that you have come; we need some professional advice.

We know what your problems are. One is from the Hung School...

...they call him the Iron Fist. Those people in Pig Sty Alley are really good...

The other two are specialists of the Twelve Kicks and Hexagon Staff...

...but their warrior days are long over...

...yet kung fu masters of their level never cease to be a threat...

...which makes this job, that you have asked us to perform for you, a great challenge for us.

What more can we ask?

I told you. These guys are number one, expensive but totally reliable! They're worth every penny they charge.

No!

The Beast is number one. The evil spirit of the Fire Cloud is the world's greatest killer.

He was so dedicated to practicing kung fu, that he lost his mind.

I have heard that he is held an asylum for the criminally insane.

...which makes you the top killers in circulation, right?

In actuality, we are nothing more than a pair of street musicians...

...whose tunes will take hold of your soul, and then slowly break your heart.

Great! Oh, that's like poetry! Don't you agree?

My friends, it is time to part.

I hope we will meet again someday.

I wish I had known we were colleagues. I could have done with some company.

Before we go our separate ways, why don't we spar a little?

No, thank you. I still have lots of packing to take care off.

- Yeah, we all do. - Right.

Twelve Kicks of the Tam School! Superb attack and defense!

The Fist of Iron, strong and subtle at once. A great fist technic!

The Wu Lang Staff, a many sided technic with mystical powers!

Until we shall meet again!

Lipstick again!

Stay there, or I will break you in half.

Sorry, but I am just closing up.

You can make a suit in no time.

But I am moving away.

This is good material!

Ah, I see...You know your cloth.

This is very high quality.

How high?

How high is the sky?

We'll show them what it means to insult the Axe Gang!

We will kill them and turn this place into a whore house.

You are blocking my view.

What's going on? Haaa! Forget it!

Bullseye!

Do not block my view.

Damn it! I told those nitwits to leave, but they are still here.

- Really? - They are!

What the hell is all that racket down there? I got enough (MUFFLED)...

I'm sorry. Don't pay any attention to her!

It's 4 'O clock! I want to get some sleep! Get out of here!

Shut up, you hag! It's time to die!

Die, my ass (MUFFLED)...

Get back in here! Don't listen to her, she has no idea what she's saying...

You are still blocking the view!

Hang in there!

(LOUD SCREAMING)

Give us a break! Get out of here! Are you trying to kill us all?!

I sense another master!

It was the roar! The Lion's Roar!

I thought that was a myth!

- Why didn't you tell me that it really exists? - Shut up!

That is the last we will see of them. Right?

This is bad, boss. Get the car started! Quick!

I told you to get...

What now?

Keep it down! Don't you have any manners?

It's a working-class neighborhood. People have to be at work at eight.

So get the hell out of my sight! Right now!

What a bunch of hoodlums!

It is no use. I cannot hold out much longer.

But having met true... masters like you...

...I can now die in peace.

Don't say things like that, Donut.

We are just an ordinary couple that is trying to live in peace.

Fighting is futile.

...whereas a normal life is all that one should aspire to.

But you are so good at martial arts!

If only you'd helped us earlier, all this would never have happened!

Everybody has...his good reasons.

Several years ago, my poor husband and I...

...we saw our only son beaten to death in a fight.

Revenge can be devastating.

Do you understand what I am saying?

There is only one solution to the matter. You must teach us all that you know.

Help us become kung fu fighters and we will avenge them!

But it takes years to reach the top. Being a fighter is not easy.

...either you were born with the calling or you were not.

And the chances of that, are about one in a million.

It is obvious. I am the chosen one!

No...doesn't have what it takes.

Listen! We swore that we would never fight again, that we would rest our skills forever.

Tonight we broke that solemn promise.

For your own good, why don't you all just go away!

With great power...

...comes great responsibility.

Donut, you are badly hurt. You must keep still.

This could be the end of a beautiful friendship!

No...Donut...Tomorrow is another day.

Donut!

Hi there, four-eyes!

I, ummm, note that your tolerance for the sight-impaired is rather limited.

That's right. Especially when they're wearing gold-frames.

I'm a clerk. Gold frames look good on clerks.

I like the way I look. So don't hassle me, you little fool!

Help me!

Alley cats!......Mongrels! Dogs!......Rats!

Wretches!......Twerps!

- So much for your...sososososo! - Come down here, and I'll shove your glasses down your throat! You hear me?

You know that well that I would've done that.

Was that a YES?

I would have!

You have no respect? Huh? You're never there when I need you.

You sound like a wimp!

Because of you, we're always getting beaten up. We have nothing to show.

No murder, no rape, no arson, no theft, no nothing...we've not gotten anywhere.

...and all that because of you can't get your fat ass in gear.

What have I done to deserve you as a partner?

Let's go!

This is a stickup! Where's the money?

Where's the money? Give it to me!

Don't look at me like that! I mean it!

I have killed people for less! Now get the money. Go on!

It's in here.

Let her go!

A total idiot, and a deaf-mute. What a bunch of losers!

Leave me alone! You're just deadweight!

Here, take this. Go home and raise pigs. That is where you belong.

Go on, before I kill you.

Hey, kid! Hey, what's your name?

Here you go, buy yourself some new clothes. You're now a member of the Axe Gang!

- Are you serious? - Yes! And there's someone back here waiting for you.

Brother Sum!

When I first saw you, I knew you'd be a courageous man of many talents...

Uh-Huh!

...looking for an opportunity.

Right!

I have an assignment for you.

For you, I would eat fire!

"RESEARCH CENTER FOR ABNORMAL DEVELOPMENT." What's that?

A nuthouse for crazy people.

What is the army doing there?

Those are not soldiers, they're Boy Scouts!

...with tanks?

Forget it, they are just models.

Now, when those Scouts change the guards, five minutes is only we'll have.

You must follow the arrows to the last cell. When you find it, force the door, and get the man in there OUT.

Here is your toolkit. Five minutes...now, go!

and...what about you?

We will be your lookouts, of course.

You have five minutes. Get on with it!

The world's finest killer; the Beast himself is clearly dressed to suit his reputation!

That is only a label, do not worry.

We want two people killed and you're the one who's going to do it...now, what do you charge?

What do I charge?

I've killed so many over the years, so many... ...just trying to find a worthy adversary.

That's why I stay in my cell... ...because there was no one out there.

I would have escaped long ago...

...if I had found someone. If you find me such an opponent...

...then, young friend, I will make you an offer you cannot refuse.

...I will do it for free.

Do you have someone?

Yes, we have just what you are looking for...the very best. This is gonna be the fight of the Century!

Would you mind demonstrating some of your technic?

Not that we don't trust you. We just want to see what we are buying.

You fools are not worth it. I am just wasting my time here.

- Yes, boss? - He looks like refuse...

I agree...Those sandals look totally worn out. But a change of clothes would make him look quite respectable.

Are you sure you brought the right one?

Oh yes, boss. I am certain. I swear followed your orders to the letter.

Mr. Beast, please show us a sample of your technic. My career is on the line.

What do I care?

Okay, old man...you see this?

Have you ever gone up against a fist this big?

I am almost afraid to use it. Do you realize the danger you're in?

Really? Try me, then.

See what I mean? Is he conscious?

Uh-huh...and you say you can fight?

Harder!

Harder!

Much harder!

If that is all you have to offer, how come you call yourself a gangster?

Do they make these for men?

In the world of kung fu, speed determines the winner.

That leaves no doubt about who our honored guest is.

Your skill is unique. The Axe Gang offers its respect!

...now, three true masters of kung fu!

Only the world's top killer exerts an aura like that...

It crowds the air.

And what is that other aura telling me?.

Am I looking at the legendary tragic couple, the great...?

Yang Guo...

...and the Dragon's Daughter!

It is a great honor to be here.

We have come to eliminate the Axe Gang...

...and only the Axe Gang.

You should've killed me while you had the chance.

But it is too late. Now that you are here, you are doomed to die.

You are living on borrowed time. Your fate is sealed.

We brought you a gift you cannot refuse!

What is this? A funeral bell?

Huh! With the Beast on our side, we shall see for whom the bell tolls!

Are you here on their behalf?

Don't misunderstand me.

The only thing I'm here for is to kill the two of you...

...or for you to kill me if you have what it takes.

What is your opinion, dear?

In this world, good cannot exist alongside with evil. Such, is destiny.

...and that is the decision. Shall we?

Okay.

Let's dance!

That's okay for starters. Now, let's try again.

That is much better, but you are still lacking position.

The Lion's Roar?

Wait!

Nobody told me the Lion's Roar could be done through a loudspeaker!

I concede my defeat!

Looks like he's not up to it. This is our big chance! Get them while they are down.

You do it!

- I'm gonna be sick! I need a doctor! - Go to hell!

You! Come here.

- Hit him! - Okay!

- On the head! - Yes, sir!

- Hit him on the head! - Okay.

- Now's your chance. - Right!

- Go on! - I will!

- Smash him on the head! - I will!

- On the head! - I will!

Beat him to a pulp!

What was that?

Do you want me to beat him to a pulp or smash him on the head?

You are totally confusing me!

Wow, a pretty big fist you have there! Careful with that.

Why did you hit me?

Where are they? They are gone!

You're completely useless! How could you let them get away?

I cannot be defeated! Not in this world.

Why did he try to save us?

These young people often make mistakes when they are starting out.

We must forgive them if they make good in the end.

Oh, just look! Beaten to a pulp, the poor boy.

Do you have a last request? Just tell us.

Wait, wait, what are you writing?

I do not know this character. I cannot understand. Wait! Wait!

No one here?

"CHINESE MEDICINE"

It is truly a miracle he has survived this long.

Your herbs are playing their part.

The herbs will help him along. But the key lies within his own body.

All his bones are broken, his tendons torn.

It is amazing he is recovering so quickly.

Under normal circumstances, this would be impossible unless...

Unless of course...

Smell that?

You must not smoke while you are injured.

Let me deal with this.

This makes no sense.

Who would ever have thought that the boy's chi flow could be released...

...by the Beast's thrashing.

Right. Still, we should have noticed earlier..

...that he may be the greatest kung fu genius to ever come along.

I wonder what he'll be up to next?

So, you are still alive, you traitor?

Axes! Forward!

Hmmmm...the toe-crusher.

That went out of style when I left kindergarden!

If our son would have been just about his age now.

If he is willing to make the effort, he could surely become a doctor or a lawyer.

More likely a great kung fu fighter.

Not bad. Now what?

Child's play! I can stop bullets...AAARGHHH

Huh? Isn't that the Toad technic of Kwan Lun?

I am afraid so!

Do you remember the Buddhist technic of the Palm descending from heaven?

The long lost part we all thought was forever gone...

I surrender!

What's the name of your technic?

Do you want to learn? I will teach you.

Master!

Can you please tell your son not to smear his snot all over the glass?

You two, don't pull your pants down in here!

Hey! If you lick it, you have to buy it, kid!

Sonny, you have the structure and the chi flow of a kung-fu genius.

Upholding world peace is in your hands. The Buddhist Palm manual.

Since it's fate, you can have it for $ 10.

Wait!

You don't follow the Palm method? Try one of these.

Pick a manual... Any manual...

Subtitle (for English-Dubbed) trancribed by: METALXONE.