Original subtitles

Put your end up, boss.

Watch it!

Sorry.

All right, close it up, Jimmy.

All aboard!

(horn blows)

LUCY: Fabian.

Fabe.

Hi, Luce.

Hi.

What time is it?

A little after 6:00. I'm on my way to work.

Okay, I'm gonna go back to sleep.

Okay. I left you some breakfast.

I'll call you later.

Okay.

Glad you're here.

Okay.

(traffic noises)

(indistinct chatter)

-Thank you. -Oh, Captain. Graham Wells.

-How do you do? -Appreciate you taking the time.

-It's all right. -Would you like a menu, sir?

Uh, no, thank you. Just black coffee and whole-wheat toast.

Right away.

Hold my order till the captain's is ready, will you, Evie?

Yes, Mr. Wells.

Pretty spartan fare, Captain.

I'm not a big breakfast eater.

Mm-hmm.

(sighs) Well, uh, should we wait to break bread

or shall I go ahead and explain myself?

I'm listening.

A fortune teller friend said you made an appearance

-in his crystal ball the other night. -Oh? What was I doing?

Being offered Fletcher Daniels' job.

(chuckles)

Hope telling fortunes isn't how your friend makes a living.

(laughs) That's funny.

No, no, no. I think he has other sources of income,

but indulge the hypothetical, Frank.

Excuse the presumption.

Some perspectives becoming chief of police

would be an attractive prospect.

Some perspectives it would culminate a career.

Hypothetically speaking.

Uh-huh. That's why I wanted you to know that there are people in this town,

and you're sitting across the table from one of them,

that think if you take an offer like that you're selling yourself short.

They think the next desk you sit at ought to have the seal of the city on its front,

and they want to help you get there.

WOMAN (on radio): Dispatch. We have a 9-11.

-Armed robbery in progress. -(sirens whooping)

See Surplus Store, corner of People's Drive and 124th Street.

(theme music playing)

(upbeat music playing)

Item six, until notice,

all EATer calls are referred to the Polk.

Lieutenant Hunter and his men are escorting the city marshals this morning.

They're gonna serve a citation to this Russian freighter

that's been dumping all that gunk in the harbor.

You believe those creeps? Dumping sewage?

Item seven, Officer Hill's father passed yesterday.

Bobby's gonna be off for the next three days.

Officer Renko's gonna team with Officer Garfield

until Bobby gets back.

Eight, armed robbery and narcotics theft

at Volker's Pharmacy last night.

Now, the description's consistent

with the J9 composite that's posted upstairs

of this guy been knocking off all the drugstores.

This perp's wrong, people,

and he's been getting more active.

A Jablonsky citation to the cop that makes the collar.

Item last, Detective Belker has asked to address the shift.

(indistinct talking)

Get married, babe!

-(laughing) -MAN: Look who's here!

Everyone who's been trying to attend my wedding

for the last several days...

(laughter)

-Everybody. -Right!

I wanted to apologize for lousing up your schedules.

Um, Robin and I are getting married noon today at City Hall.

-MAN: Sure. -(laughter)

And then we'll stop back here after the ceremony

on our way to Pearlman's,

which is a lodge where we have a honeymoon package at.

Actually, we have two days left on the package we bought.

(indistinct chatter)

I'm sorry for all the inconvenience.

Yeah, the detective's talking like he committed a Brink's job.

(laughter)

Everybody knows that he was on a case.

And I'm sure that everybody wishes

the detective and the future Mrs. Belker all the best.

(applause)

Okay, that's it! Let's go!

They're getting away out there!

We gotta get that refrigerator over here.

I don't do no heavy lifting, babe.

Mick, you got nothing to apologize for, alright?

It's been a very awkward situation.

He's just trying to get rid of his best man, that's all.

Aw, that's not correct.

Will you be talking to Bobby?

Calling tonight. He's going home with his daddy's remains.

Oh, good. Um, could you convey our sympathies?

Right.

Well...

Excuse me.

I'm gonna go home now and wait.

-MAN: I'll be right out.

(indistinct chattering)

OFFICER: Hey, good luck.

So he's a little nervous, a little wound up.

-LUCY: A little? -He'll be okay.

Well, today better be the charms.

That boy's brain's floating toward the thin ice of mental health.

-Gentlemen. -Hey, Sid.

Hey, what you got, Sidney?

Sid, you know any cheap delivery people?

Delivery of what commodity?

Pick up a refrigerator at the Kubiak and bring it over here.

Legal delivery, I can't help you.

On the other hand,

you guys want to pop that mad dog pharmacy killer?

Hey, guy hasn't killed anybody, Sid.

Oh. Oh, I see,

and the department's just waiting for that to occur?

Whatever happened to first strike?

Listen, guys.

I got somebody with reliable access to this creep.

-Cooperative? -Not exactly.

But, uh, you could bust her for receiving.

Make a deal. $200 buys my assistance.

-Half a ball. -$50?

Hey, look, fellas, this isn't like farming.

I fink on a source, they're lost to me forever.

I think Leon's got a truck.

Maybe he could bring the fridge over here himself.

I think we might be on Leon's hate list, baby.

(chuckles, applauds) Kentucky freeze out. Very amusing.

All right. $50. Let's do it.

You know, I happen to like this lady, but guess that doesn't count

-for anything, either. -Nope.

-Morning. -Captain.

Couple of real softies.

-Good morning, Captain. -Stan.

A lot of phone calls.

I think, uh, Lieutenant Hunter

might have stepped in something down at the harbor.

He's leaning against the door saying,

"How you doin', Luce?" (laughs)

Fabulous Fabe. How long is he gonna be here?

-We don't know yet. -We don't know yet?

I mean, when does he have to be back at school?

He thinks he might go to school up here.

-Luce. -They're getting away from us out there.

-Luce, wait a minute. -What?

Didn't we go through this jackpot last year?

-What jackpot? -Look, Fabian's not talking

about moving in with his mother, right? He knows she's back hooking again?

-Right. -So he's talking about moving in with you?

Also right.

Don't you think you've had your quota lately, Luce?

-Of what? -Of getting hurt.

When I saw that kid leaning up against the doorway like that,

that's the best feeling I had in a long time.

But what about what comes afterward?

We're taking this one step at a time, alright?

The first step is he is here and he thinks he wants to stay.

Now, if he decides that is what he wants,

I'll do everything I can to make that happen.

I know it might be a mess. You're right.

But on the other hand, it might work out.

When do I get to see him?

He's coming up later today. He's so big you're gonna die.

You are crazy.

You're an artist, Terry.

It's like this gentleman's body

is the cover of the Saturday Evening Post

and you are Norman Rockwell.

Don't move around.

-Oh. -That's gotta set.

Save the sugar, Sid.

How do you know these guys?

I know the white guy from Harrisonville.

The black guy is a friend of the white guy.

Terry, Johnny.

Cold hands. I like that in a man.

Pleasure's all mine.

And, uh, that's Neal.

He's, uh, catching 40 winks.

Hi.

So, who wants the tattoo?

Well, actually, Johnny inherited a TV camera that he, uh,

-wants to dispose of. -Good luck.

I thought maybe you knew some people in the industry.

-Are you a cop? -Me? Absolutely.

So is he. Want to see our badges?

Ter, doesn't that kid, uh, Jamie make films or something?

I don't know. Why don't you call him and find out?

Hey. Fine. You don't want the business?

-How much do you want for it? -$750.

Four bills.

Earth to Neal. Go get the camera.

(grunts)

Hey! Ooh!

Salome won't hurt you.

Feel her.

She's cold...

like your hand.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, God! It's squeezing me!

You should feel honored.

She usually doesn't like strangers.

Even a herpetophiles such as I rarely elicit

-such a positive response from a boa. -Yeah.

Got a bill of sale?

I inherited, remember?

Oh, yeah.

Um, you, uh, inherit pretty regular?

Couple of times a month.

Well, uh, come back next time you're in mourning.

-Yeah. I'm sorry, honey. You're busted. -Yeah, baby, you're arrested.

You have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right--

-Sid, you creep! -You're cops? You guys are cops?

Oh, save the crap.

Come on, Terry. A guy's gotta eat.

-Cuff her, Neal. -Unh-unh.

Here on this floor.

Be careful. He's got an axe.

BOBBY: (grunts) Harold!

-That's enough, mister! -Says who?

-Says me. Now drop that pick. -Oh, my lord.

You know this guy?

Bobby? Bobby!

Why are you smashing in that lock?

To get inside.

-Do I recognize you? -Not in your present condition you don't.

The instruments in this locker are mine.

Is your name Parsons?

These instruments were stolen from me!

Bobby, if you don't put down that axe,

I'll have to take you in, buddy.

You ain't taking me anywhere.

All right. Watch his hands.

Bobby, you're busted.

Damn. You look familiar.

Heard you had some excitement at the harbor, Howard.

We butted a few helmets.

Hey, good for you, Lieutenant. I heard you cussed them out.

Lieutenant, the captain's looking for you.

Howard.

Oh, Frank, we couldn't serve the summons.

We were bushwhacked by some federal bureaucrats.

Mm-hmm, I heard the story, Howard.

I heard it from the chief's office, from the mayor's office,

and the state department.

Ah, the Monday morning quarterbacks have been checking in, are they, Frank?

Your assignment was to safeguard the marshals.

Instead, you engage the ship's mate

in a bullhorn shouting match.

Then you search nonpublic areas of the ship

for nonexistent defectors

and you make totally unfounded accusations about spying

accompanied by frisks of two Soviet citizens.

Frank, it is well-known, KGB are assigned

to every so-called merchant vessel.

What is well-known to the officials who have called me

is that your cowboy patriotism could precipitate an incident.

The chief's office wants you to draft an apology.

(chuckles) Judas H., Frank.

And I happen to agree. Within the hour, Howard.

If you'll excuse me, I'll consider my response.

Your apology.

Very well.

Excuse me.

You know what our Russian friends would say about this, Frank?

What's that?

(speaking Russian)

This eats large toilet bowl.

Lieutenant.

Miss Davenport.

-Everything okay? -Just Howard...

trying to start World War III.

Come with me to the Monsignor Keller dinner tonight.

I thought we turned that down.

Well, Walt Callahan got the flu

and they just called and asked me to deliver the address.

I'll get our duds from the cleaners.

Dish the dirt, Furillo.

What was breakfast with Graham Wells about?

He said Fletcher Daniels may resign next month.

Evidently he's been offered a consultancy with the crime institute.

What's that got to do with political kingmaking?

Wells said that if they offer me Daniels' job, before accepting,

I should keep in mind that he thinks I'd be a viable candidate

in the mayoral race.

Furillo, you political hunk.

Oh, I think he's in left field.

I've never heard of Mr. Wells playing that position.

Was it Wells who, uh, invited you to make the speech tonight?

The Keller Committee just called a few minutes ago.

You don't think there's a connection?

I hadn't thought about that.

What's your speech gonna be about, Furillo?

-I haven't thought of that, either. -Hmm.

How about rising young Italians?

Apologize. Apologize for what?

For taking the kid gloves off when it comes to dealing with a bear?

You'll be pumping iron then, sir?

Judas. If I can find my weights.

Alright. Who moved them? Where the hell are they?

(chuckles)

All non-departmental property was removed from the equipment lockers, sir.

To where and by whom?

I believe the storage room, sir.

Where the hell's the storage room?

By the boiler room, sir.

-Oh, Judas priest. -Sergeant Jablonsky!

Goddamn Russkies.

That sickle and hammer.

Please!

Ah!

Red menace.

Conspiracy.

Ah!

(thud)

(moans)

I can't tolerate this. I won't tolerate it.

Man thinks he can run roughshod on me.

Now, Mr. Parsons, I know you're upset.

Bobby thinks he don't have to answer to no one.

But there's an area I have to keep clear here, huh?

Oh, there he is! There's the great man!

-The a-number one horse's a-- -Why, you!

-Hey, don't be kicking him. -Man, you sold me out!

Oh, preach on it, Bobby! Blame everyone but your damn fool self!

-Officer, you gonna book this man? -Yes, I am.

Would you please move out of my way, sir? Mr. Angel is very busy right now.

Busy? Busy stealing my possessions. That was my cubicle he broke--

I was trying to get my damn instruments back!

They ain't yours no more, Bobby.

You ignored one too many court order and one too many notice to pay.

What the hell you wanna do with that stuff, Ned?

All you know is grinding money out of people who play those things.

-Is that so? -Come on!

I guess it wasn't me starving with you those 11 years on the road, huh?

Riding my back, you mean.

And I guess it wasn't you that checked me into that damn detox.

Closer than I ever want to get to hell and be alive!

Which was to go there or to go to jail

and you should've stayed there until you was well!

Listen to me now!

Do you want to charge him with attempted theft?

We already got him for destruction of property.

Go ahead, Ned. Drive another nail in.

-It ain't worth my time. -So long, Ned.

Go find yourself another picker to sink your teeth into.

Bobby, turn around here now and talk to this lady.

Empty your pockets. Put it on the counter.

Well, I'll take my trousers off if you ask real nice.

-Hey, shut up! -For crying out loud.

Turn around here and face this counter.

Hey, just a second. I recognize you.

You're the son of a buck that got me popped for possession last week

and got me into this whole damn mess!

Last week? It was six months ago, pal! And your manager's right.

You got yourself into this all by your own lonesome.

Six months?

(chuckles)

My, time sure flies when you're having fun.

-Put that thing down! Book him! -Walk over there.

Okay, let's take your picture, dude. Come on.

Lord, have mercy on me.

(groans)

(engine chugging, squeaking)

Where am I?

Ugh.

Oh.

Ugh.

Damn.

Of course.

EATer Brigade.

Code 5.

Men?

Are you down here?

Any other captives?

Or am I the only one the Russkies have taken?

You two probably won't believe

that I was formerly a university instructor.

14 years.

Where'd you use to teach?

Various institutions.

Now I'm driving a taxicab.

Are you gonna take the Parkway?

The Parkway is closed to southbounds from 11:00 to 2:00, sir.

Would you like to do the driving for me?

-Would you like to do my job? -MAN: Police officer!

-(whistle blows) -No.

Alright. I'm trying to get to there. I'm going as fast as I can.

-What are you doing? -I'm not going.

You're grabbing my shoulder.

(growling)

You're grabbing my shoulder, sir, and you're growling!

-He's got him. -He's got him. He's busted.

-BOTH: He's got him. -Sir, I am becoming very anxious.

(growls)

-Hey, hey, green! Go! Let's go! -(horns honking)

-Let's go. Go, go, go. -I will! I will! I'm driving!

With this ring I thee wed.

And with all my worldly goods,

I thee endow.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Finally.

You may kiss the bride.

Didn't think we'd bring this one home after three days.

My warmest congratulations to you both.

Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

My bill.

I know it's high, but I had a lot of downtime on this one.

(chuckles)

Taking an American prisoner.

An American citizen, prisoner.

Oh.

Beat him about the head...

throwing him... ow...

into this dungeon of a boiler room.

(sighs)

If you think Howard Hunter goes peacefully,

you comrades of the SS Gulag, think again.

(coughs)

You have invited an asp to your breast.

You have swallowed a piranha.

(pipes squeak)

Yes. (laughs)

If this...

Rust bucket sinks...

I'm Eleanor Roosevelt.

(chuckles)

Detective, I'm representing Terry Sylvestri.

Yeah, who'd the snake hire?

I don't understand.

Private joke, Miss Davenport.

Ms. Sylvestri informs me you suggested on the way to the station house,

her cooperation in another matter might get charges dropped.

Worth a conversation.

We could have another one on entrapment.

I'll get an interrogation room.

-Is anybody else hot? -Here they come. Here.

-MAN: Get ready. Here they come. -Do you believe that creep Leon?

Double sawbuck and he's late with Belker's refrigerator.

Hey, congratulations!

(cheering and laughter)

I may not have been there, but I'm still the best man, huh?

Aw.

Aha.

Aha, congratulations, Mick!

Thank you, Stan!

-Did you come by dog sled, Leon? -Registration lapsed. I got pulled over.

Come on, give it to me.

Uh, excuse me.

Uh, excuse me. Everybody listen up.

Mick, Robin, as head of the group-gift committee,

it gives me great pleasure to present you

this 21-cubic-foot, frost-free refrigerator

from your friends and fellow officers at Hill Street Station.

-(cheering) -Thank you!

That's so sweet, J.D.

Now, that's what I volunteered for.

This is great!

-Is it me, or is anybody else hot? -No, it's hot.

Spy ship without a radio transmitter.

(door opens)

Lieutenant? Sir?

You down here?

Ballantine?

Ballantine, are you all right?

We were looking for you, sir.

Who's "we," Ballantine?

Or just myself, I guess, sir.

You're at large on an enemy vessel?

Your liberty granted to you?

Sir?

Ballantine, I can only conclude they have brainwashed and turned you.

No, sir, I came down looking for you.

You owe me no apology, Ballantine.

Torture is a terrible thing.

Was it the tiger cages?

Nobody's tortured me, sir, honest to goodness.

I say, there's no shame, Ballantine.

The only shame is not admitting the truth.

Sir, the truth is I don't know what you're talking about.

(chuckles)

Very well, Ballantine.

Oh, look, the Miss America contestant.

Oh!

Sorry, old sport. We'll deprogram you when you come to your senses.

(pipes squeaking)

(pipes rattling)

Interrogation room B. Miss Sylvestri's already in there.

Comfy in here, Sarge. Reminds me of the Bataan death camps.

FRANK: Drive carefully.

-See you in a couple days. -Bye.

Bye.

Henry.

Have you seen Howard?

Not for a while. Last time I saw him, he was stewing.

When he turns up tell him I want to see him.

Alright.

Stan, we've got to do something about this heat.

Boiler man's on his way.

Sarge, you better have him check the water pressure, too.

Oh, here, speak of the devil.

Big Bertha's hot to trot today.

You gotta go downstairs right away, Sal.

-You could boil an egg in here. -On my way.

Bertha and I got an intimate relationship.

Sergeant Buntz around today?

Uh, that would be Lieutenant Buntz.

No, a blondie, tall drink of water.

Tell her Sal's looking for her.

What do you people pay for heat?

No wonder the city's going broke.

Let's finish this quickly.

Charges are dropped against Ms. Sylvestri in today's arrest.

Additionally, she is immune from prosecution,

other than crimes of violence during the period

-her business is under surveillance. -Deal.

Purpose of surveillance is arrest and prosecution

of male Caucasian, tattooed, approximately 35,

suspected in various armed robberies of drugstores

during the past six weeks.

Doesn't narrow the field much, gentlemen.

All we got.

Where'd you learn to give tattoos?

San Diego.

Come on in. I'll give you a butterfly.

Already got one.

STAN: No, no, we got a Norman Buntz.

Hey, Tommy!

They don't call you Guido over here?

Tommy Donahue.

We were partnered at the Heights.

-Stan Jablonski. -Stan's our turnout sergeant.

How you doing? You got a place?

Yeah, come on.

Good to meet you.

It's everything they say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta take a ride with me, Guid.

Yeah? Who we gonna see?

A juice guy, one Edward Fertello.

I believe Edward needs to be arrested.

I ought to hit you right in the head.

Yeah, please give me a lecture now. That's what I was hoping I could hear.

When you gonna smarten up, Tommy?

Hey, no price.

(sighs) How much you owe?

Couple of bucks. Hey, this guy's a crook.

What difference does it make what I owe?

Oh, are we arresting Mr. Fertello?

We're not playing "improve my loan," huh?

We are arresting him.

I may have subsequent plans.

(sighs)

What, are they giving you female hormones up here, Guid?

-Shut up. -(chuckles)

When?

Now. Guy eats at the Ginzo Social Club.

(sighs)

Now, look, uh, I'm not happy, Tommy.

We're policemen, Norm.

We're doing our duty.

Happy don't enter in.

(sighs)

Ain't it kind of hot in here?

We're trying to locate the source of the problem.

What can I do for you?

Just give me an educated guess.

How much bail do you think they'll want for Bobby Angel?

I just book them, mister. I don't fix their bail.

Yeah.

-Officer? -Uh-huh?

What do you suppose the bail's gonna be

for Bobby's hoo-ha down there at the storage?

I don't think it makes much difference.

As far as I know, Bobby ain't got no money, does he?

I'll go it for him.

You'll go it for him after all that hoo-ha?

Course, I can relate to that.

There is something about that jerk, isn't there?

It's a particular kind of jerk.

The probable truth is,

until Bobby runs out of people like us,

he ain't never gonna cut it as a human being.

That should do it. Hold the bail for him.

Tell him, uh...

hell, tell him it's from some secret admirer.

-(telephone rings) -Hey, Luce, look who's here.

Fabian, how you doing?

-Hey, Joe. -Good to see you, buddy, how are you?

-Great. -Look at you.

It's like he went and turned into a beanpole.

It's hot in here.

They're working on it. They're gonna fix it.

Joseph, uh, excuse us for a second.

Sure. Listen, what about dinner, all of us, tonight?

-Come on. -Great!

Alright, I'll see you later.

I have to talk to you about some stuff.

About me staying with you?

Yeah, about that.

I want to.

You don't wanna go back to your grandmother's?

I don't like it there so much.

My grandmother doesn't have any patience,

-and she's always mad at me. -You don't wanna stay with your mom?

When you called me, I'd been asking for you to call me for a couple of weeks.

Fabian.

If you lived with me, I'd be like your mom,

which means you'd have to enroll in school,

and you have to do what I say.

That's okay. You're not too strict.

We'll have to get the courts to give their okay.

Hire a lawyer and everything.

Lawyers charge a lot of money, huh?

Yeah, that's why I wanna know if you're sure.

Well, pretty sure.

Which is it, sure or pretty sure?

I don't want you to spend a lot of money.

Don't worry about it. That's my problem.

Otherwise, okay?

Okay.

(chuckles)

(mumbling)

Night-combat conditions.

Become the environment.

Come on, Ivan.

See if you like what this does to your engines.

-(rattling) -(mumbling)

-(engine chugging) -(water dripping)

-(mumbling) -Ugh!

You shanghaied the wrong year, my friend.

(pipes squeak)

(engine chugging)

That's why nobody likes dealing with you guys.

Shut up, Eddie.

And that's why ex-cops don't get a loan.

Look at my eyes, Eddie.

Figure out how much I care.

Don't screw around with my phonebook, please!

What does this look like, Norm?

Could it contain some sort of code?

Aw.

What you want, you freaking deadbeat? You're already six weeks overdue.

Ugh!

TOMMY: No attitude, Eddie.

Attitude brings fractures.

Alright, alright.

Alright. Oh! Oh.

(moans)

Hey, go on back to the card game, fellas.

Deal another hand, huh?

Go on! Get out of here, you hear me?

-Tommy? -Norman.

Believe this? This was total mistaken identity.

Eddie's being a real prince.

Go away.

(car door closes)

Stan.

Is there a window still open?

No, windows are tight.

He must have shut down the boiler so he could work on it.

Could get double-triple pneumonia in here.

I'm suing for loss of income.

Somebody please go down and check on that damn repairman.

My pleasure.

Mine, too.

In English. That figures.

Left over from Langley's.

(chuckles) Great progress you've made, Boris.

(door opens)

Huh?

Damn!

They're looking for their mate.

Very well, Mr. Molotov, they're coming down to you.

Fortitude, Ballantine.

The greater glory lies beyond this world.

(mumbling)

Stand back, whoever you are,

or this gulag goes to Davy Jones' locker!

Lieutenant Hunter?

(mumbling)

A rescue party!

You've saved me! Are you alright?

Have we seized the ship?

-Lieutenant! -What?

This is the Hill Street Station.

(mumbling)

Some unfortunate pawn of the commissar.

Now that we're in command,

can we medevac him out of here?

Sure, Howard.

I wasn't being recalcitrant on this apology.

Don't worry about it, Howard.

The chief's issuing a "department regrets."

I see.

Other than a concussion, I think you survived

your encounter with the steam pipes, Lieutenant.

(chuckles) Thank you, Doctor.

I wouldn't drive for 24 hours.

I'll drive him home.

It was a most extraordinary experience.

The entire hallucination had this most extraordinary sense of reality.

-What's the matter, Howard? -(chuckling)

I'm just so glad to be back in America.

-(moaning) -(telephone ringing)

-Stan? -Hmm?

Let's notify the city attorney.

-Civil suit? -Big.

(moaning)

Blondie! My tall drink of water!

Why don't you go back to sleep?

(playing the guitar) ♪ I don't know how ♪

♪ I don't know when ♪

♪ I know someday ♪

♪ We'll meet again ♪

Bobby, that was so beautiful.

Well, ain't you nice to say so?

You know, I just want to tell you something.

You have been a perfect gentleman,

and I don't know where those stories come from.

Well, I wanna thank you folks for having me.

And God bless you and old Ned Parsons, too,

for helping me out in court today.

Where do you have to go so soon, Bobby?

Well, I'm beginning to think you folks is temperance.

And seeing how it's getting that time of evening,

I like to wet my whistle!

Oh, Andy, do you think a single drink--

-Daryl Ann, he-- -Don't you folks disagree on my account.

Oh, Andy, my daddy's sweet briar corn mash--

it's made in the family way.

It couldn't do any harm on a cold night like this.

-Daryl Ann, I-- -Honey, sing him one of your songs.

You write some tunes, Andy, do you?

-Well, sir, yeah. -Sing him the police one!

Okay. I'll pick you one.

(playing the guitar) ♪ I am a policeman in a... ♪

I can't sing in front of you. I'm too embarrassed.

Just a little case of stage fright, Andy.

Boy, honey ain't sweeter than straight from the comb!

Oh, my lord.

Whoo-oo-oo!

Boy, that would kill an ordinary man!

Oh, mama, help me put out the fire!

Bobby, don't be tickling me, now!

(both laughing)

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! (plays the guitar)

♪ Well, Daryl, just to see ♪

♪ You in those jeans ♪

♪ Makes ol' Bobby's blood to boil ♪

♪ And makes me wanna scream ♪

♪ Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme what I need ♪

-To do this! -Hey, hey, get off her!

That's about it! Stop it!

Wait a minute, Andy. I'm just having a little fun.

Oh, I gotta get my inspiration from somewhere!

Not with my wife, you don't! I'm gonna tell you something.

You just crossed the Mason-Dixon line, hoss!

Get out of my house!

-One-way? -Don't you never come back here again!

Hey, well, like I always say,

don't count me out,

but don't count on me either.

-(laughs) -Get out.

(door slam)

You guys could be here for a while.

He won't come in unless he pulls a job.

I've been on worse stakeouts.

-You wanna play some gin? -Oh, sure. Winner plays the snake?

(chuckles)

You don't wanna play Salome.

She cheats.

Yo, babe, company coming.

Right.

Hey, Lucius, you put on a little weight?

Terry. (chuckles)

My main woman.

(laughs)

Yeah. Say, bro.

What you got?

Something your friend might like.

Pure cashmere, baby. Look about your size.

Looks good.

Try it on.

I got something else here for Ter.

You been hitting those restaurant checkrooms again, Lucius.

Me? No, no, these fell off a truck.

-How much? -$1,500 for both.

$400.

(laughs) Wait. That ain't right.

No, no, I got to have a whole lot more than that.

-I got problems. -Take it or leave it.

Afraid I'm gonna have to take all of it, then, Terry.

Just freeze. Take it easy.

This ain't smart.

How's this thing open?

Just tell me how this thing opens. You know how it opens?

Hey, baby! I want a tat.

Oh, man!

I ought to make you eat this.

Don't hurt me, man!

Don't hurt me, man! Take the coats!

(grunts)

I didn't want to jeopardize the undercover.

Men of action turn me all the way on.

Hey, yeah, that's the gym.

That's where I used to play volleyball

when all the guys were playing basketball.

Now the girls probably play basketball, too, huh?

Yeah, all the time.

Where's them volleyball players?

Who's that?

That is Sister Elizabeth.

She was my homeroom teacher, and she also coached the volleyball team.

She's a nun, right? That's why she has that scarf on.

Mm-hmm. Right.

Is that you?

No, I don't think so.

Come on, Fabe.

What do you think about the school?

It seems pretty cool.

Yeah.

That's you, ain't it, Luce?

-Maybe. -(chuckling)

Why do you got your eyes closed?

I don't know. Because...

that's what I was doing when the guy took the picture.

Oh, give me a break, you dumpster.

(indistinct chatter)

(clears throat)

I, uh, know we all wish Walter Callahan

a quick victory in his bout with the flu bug.

Father Farren's going to intercede for Walt

-with an influential friend. -(laughter)

Our loss is also our gain.

Like me, I'm certain all of you followed the deliberations

and applauded the findings

of the so-called Furillo Commission.

But I can claim a leg up

in having followed the career of this gentleman

for a number of years before that.

I remember, eight years ago now,

reading about a persevering young lieutenant

arresting Al "Big Ben" Biamonte.

And in the intervening years, I've watched him grow

from strength to strength.

It's my honor to introduce someone I suspect

we may be hearing more from and about

in the months and years to come.

Captain Francis X. Furillo.

(applauding)

Thank you, Father Walton, Father Farren,

distinguished guests.

Uh, I want to thank Mr. Wells for his gracious introduction.

It is the small consolation of being a late replacement

that no one expects you to have a speech prepared.

I'm not going to disappoint you.

(laughter)

You were gangbusters, Furillo.

Yeah, I think it went alright.

(chuckles)

Shall I tell you what our new friend, Mr. Wells, told me?

Mm-hmm.

Promise not to get a swelled head?

What did Graham have to say?

Graham said, "Your husband has marvelous presence."

Hmm.

I said, "Graham,

you're preaching among the converted."

I wish I had a peek at my friend Graham's hole card.

Hmm.

Relax, Furillo.

Enjoy the ride.

Don't change the subject.

(both laugh)

That's them now.

Hi, Aunty.

Oh, honey.

George Foster, Foster and Sons Mortuary, sir.

Is this the departed?

My assistant will bring the car around, sir.

Trip all right?

It was fine. How's Uncle Cy?

Oh, he has his aches and pains.

You'll see him back at the house.

I was planning on you staying with us.

Appreciate it.

Welcome home, Leland.

Leland?

You didn't know that your daddy's first name was Leland?

Where did Reggie come from?

His name was Leland Reginald Hill.

I used to say your daddy had a bank president's name

and a bank robber's heart.

(both laugh)

I'm glad you've brought him here.

Didn't know where else to bring him, Aunty.

I meant, I'm glad you came with him.

(melancholic music playing)

(sighs)

Appreciate the rhythm, Guid.

The kid I'm paired with now don't know the play.

Yeah.

Alright, let's get it off our chests.

What part don't you know about, Tommy? What part do I have to tell you?

I didn't wanna get into this. There's some stuff going on at home.

That's bull.

Oh, man, you're gonna tell me what this money's for?

Obviously, you think it's gambling. It happens to be a domestic problem.

Tommy, A, I don't believe you,

and B, this sucked, no matter what.

Which Righteous Brother were you?

This was a stone, freaking shakedown!

This crap's why I transferred!

You transferred? What happened to division pulled you?

I put in for a transfer,

and this kind of stuff is why.

Jeez, that's beautiful.

You asked to split up?

Forget about what's right or wrong.

You keep this up, you're gonna get whacked.

Not me. I'm a defender of the community.

Plus, I thought I was your pal.

Unh-unh. No, this was no friend.

This was muscle you wanted today.

That must have been someone else I stepped in front of a couple of years ago.

Must not have been you.

No, that was me.

But you were different.

Oh, I'm a different guy! I must not have a scar, then!

That was a cheap freakin' shot.

Didn't feel cheap when I took it! This look cheap to you?

I'm wrong.

I'm sorry.

You don't believe it, see, but...

I love you like a brother.

(sighs) Yeah, you've been there for me, too.

Just hate what you're doing to yourself, Tommy.

And honest to God,

I keep being afraid you're gonna get hit.

I win the lottery next week, this all goes away.

(chuckles)

Look, you made me ruin my vines.

(sighs) You take care, Tommy.

Hey, Guid. Let's see each other, all right?

No. I don't wanna see you no more.

(sniffles)

(theme music playing)