Original subtitles

[SIREN]

REMIND ME TO QUIT MY JOB TOMORROW.

AND WHAT, MISS ALL THIS FUN? HUH?

HA HA!

VAPOR BOMBS?

DRIVE MUCH?

IS THAT BETTER?

SHOW-OFF.

HA HA HA HA.

50 SAYS HE TAKES US TO GHOST TOWN, HUH?

YOU'RE ON.

I'M GONNA GET HIM FIRST.

OOH.

THIS GUY IS GREAT.

[SQUEALING TIRES]

WHERE'D HE GO?

[KEYSTROKES]

HE'S RIGHT THERE ON THE SCREEN.

[SQUEALING TIRES]

[ENGINE STOPS]

[SCREECHING TIRES]

SO, HOW ABOUT THEM NEPTUNES?

AMEN.

I'M UP 10 GRAND THIS MONTH.

THEY STILL NEED AN OUTFIELD.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? THEY GOT A GREAT OUTFIELD.

HEY, NICK,

EVER SEE WHAT A RAT DOES WHEN HE'S CORNERED?

NO, BUT I GOT A PRETTY GOOD IDEA.

FIRST, HE SHITS HIS PANTS.

AND THEN...

Criminal: HE WIPES HIS ASS.

NANCE!

DROP IT!

GEE, OFFICER, WAS I REALLY GOIN' THAT FAST?

DROP IT.

YOU AIN'T GOT NO PLACE TO GO, PAL.

NEITHER DO YOU, SHITBAG.

NOW DROP THE GUN, OR SHE DIES.

JUST DROP THE GUN, AND YOU BOTH LIVE.

DON'T DO IT, NICK, HE'LL KILL US BOTH.

YEAH, GO AHEAD, OFFICER...

MAYBE YOU FEEL LUCKY TONIGHT.

YOU GOT A CLEAN SHOT.

[GUNSHOT]

UHH!

[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]

[RINGING]

HEY, HEY, SHITBIRD, YOU FORGET SOMETHIN'?

IT'S PAYDAY.

I TOLD YOU, SCHRECK, FRIDAY.

UH-UH-UH. NO DICE, SWEETHEART.

LOOK, YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY.

[SIGH]

YOU'RE ON A LOSING STREAK, SHITBIRD.

YOU SHOULD FIND YOURSELF A NEW TEAM...

BEFORE YOU STRIKE OUT...

PERMANENTLY.

[SIREN]

YOU GOT A CLEAN SHOT, NICK. YOU GOT A CLEAN SHOT!

[GUNSHOT]

Female computer voice: CAUTION.

YOU ARE ENTERING A SECURED PERIMETER.

PLEASE SUBMIT TO A RETINAL IDENTITY SCAN.

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY.

JAMES NICHOLAS, CUSTODIAL ENGINEER,

YOU ARE CLEARED TO ENTER.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME, NICK.

HEY, JOHNNY.

WELL, IF IT AIN'T THE LEAN, MEAN CLEANING-MACHINE.

YOU KNOW HOW YOU CAN TELL YOU'RE IN TROUBLE, JOHNNY?

HOW'S THAT?

WHEN THE BEST OFFER YOU HAD IN 3 YEARS

COMES FROM A LASER CANNON.

CATCH THE GAME LAST NIGHT?

YOU MEAN THE TURKEY SHOOT?

LET ME GUESS. YOU BET ON THE TURKEY AGAIN.

GOTTA START WINNIN' SOMETIME, RIGHT?

Johnny: MORNING, DR. ROYCE.

HAVE A NICE DAY, DR. ROYCE.

YOU OUGHT TO CHECK THAT OUT, NICK.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT COMPUTER SCIENTISTS.

WHAT?

LOOSEN 'EM UP WITH A LITTLE ALGEBRA,

THEY GO WILD!

I THINK I'D HAVE BETTER LUCK WITH THE LASER CANNON.

[BUZZING]

PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME, DR. ROYCE,

HOW CAN YOU MAKE A VIRUS PROGRAM THINK?

BY MERGING IT WITH NEUROLOGICAL PROTOPLASMA.

THE MENTAL COMPONENT DIRECTS THE VIRUS,

MUCH LIKE THE HUMAN MIND DIRECTS ITS THOUGHTS.

THE THEORY IS QUITE SIMPLE, MR. OSHIGA.

SO A COMPANY, SUCH AS YOURS,

WOULD PURPOSEFULLY INTRODUCE THE VIRUS INTO ITS DATABASE--

AFTER THEY'VE PAID US A STANDARD FEE OF COURSE.

Mr. Oshiga: OH, OF COURSE. HA HA.

BUT INSTEAD OF DESTROYING INFORMATION,

THE VIRUS THINKS ITS WAY THROUGH THE SYSTEM,

EXPOSING THE SYSTEM'S VULNERABILITIES AND WEAKNESSES

AND MAKES ALL THE NECESSARY SAFEGUARDS.

LIKE COMPUTER INOCULATION.

AH, EXACTLY.

HACKERS, CYBERJACKS,

ALL FORMS OF INFORMATION DISEASE

WILL SOON BE THINGS OF THE PAST.

VERY GOOD.

IN THEORY.

YES, WELL, I THINK THAT JUST ABOUT DOES IT HERE, MR. OSHIGA.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO VISIT OUR VIRTUAL REALITY LAB?

WE HAVE A BELLY DANCER HOLOGRAM I THINK YOU'D LOVE.

WAIT, WAIT.

IT APPEARS DR. ROYCE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.

I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT. CONTINUE, DOCTOR, PLEASE.

YES, DOCTOR, BY ALL MEANS, PLEASE CONTINUE.

THANK YOU.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT THERE'S A RANDOM ELEMENT THAT WE CAN'T PREDICT.

IN HALF OF THE TESTS THAT WE RUN,

THE VIRUS SEPARATES FROM THE BIOLOGICAL HOST.

IT ONLY SURVIVES FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS,

BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THAT IS ENOUGH TIME

TO MAKE LUNCH OF A FEW GIGABYTES OF DATA.

I DON'T MEAN TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE, MR. JERVIS,

BUT FACTS ARE FACTS.

AND WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE TO DO ABOUT THIS...

"RANDOM ELEMENT"?

WE PROPOSE TO FIX IT. RIGHT, PHILLIP?

WE'RE WORKING NIGHT AND DAY, MR. JERVIS.

UM, THIS WAY, MR. OSHIGA.

[CLEARS THROAT]

WHEN YOU WERE 5 YEARS OLD, ALEX,

I TAUGHT YOU THAT HONESTY WAS THE BEST POLICY.

DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT QUITE SO LITERALLY?

I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS, DAD,

BUT WHAT IF WE CAN'T CONTROL IT?

WHAT IF WE'RE IN OVER OUR HEADS?

YOU'RE RIGHT, ALEX, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

[ENGINE NOT STARTING]

DAMN IT.

UH, I CAN PROGRAM AN IBM MAINFRAME NO PROBLEM,

BUT GIVE ME AN ELECTRIC MOTOR AND I JUST...DON'T--

POP THE HOOD.

THANK YOU.

OK, TRY IT NOW.

[ENGINE NOT STARTING]

OK, OK. OK.

YOUR REMOTE'S SHOT.

GREAT.

WHAT'S MY REMOTE?

IT'S THAT LITTLE THING THAT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR CAPACITOR.

OH.

AND THAT'S SHOT, TOO.

WELL, THAT FIGURES.

UH, DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?

HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE BEFORE?

YOU'RE, UH, YOU'RE SKIP, RIGHT?

YOU'RE HOWARD'S ASSISTANT UP IN CYBERNETICS.

NICK, DOWN IN JANITORIAL.

OH. WELL, THAT MUST BE INTERESTING.

SO, DID YOU CATCH THE GAME LAST NIGHT?

IS THAT ALL ANYBODY CAN TALK ABOUT IS THE GAME?

JUST TELL ME ONE THING.

HOW CAN A TEAM GO FROM FIRST TO LAST IN ONE SEASON?

IT'S CALLED PRACTICE.

YOU WANT TO KNOW MY THEORY?

LOUSY OUTFIELD.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

THEY HAVE A GREAT OUTFIELD.

YOU KNOW WHAT? HERE'S WHAT I'D DO.

I'D SWITCH MORRISON TO THIRD,

I'D LET HASHAGADA LEAD OFF,

I'D TRADE REDMOP FOR A GOOD BAT BOY,

AND I'D BRING UP A COUPLE OF LEFT-HANDERS FROM THE FARM TEAM.

I MEAN, STATISTICALLY,

BATTERS IN THEIR DIVISION CAN'T HANDLE SOUTHPAWS, RIGHT?

IT'S SO LOGICAL,

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW.

UH, CAREFUL, YOU'RE DRIFTING INTO FOUL TERRITORY.

[HORN HONKING]

OH, SHIT!

IF YOU EVER GET UP TO RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT,

STOP IN AND SAY HI.

WHO SHOULD I SAY HI TO?

DR...UH, HEH.

ALEX.

UH! OK, OK. OK, OK.

OHH!

MAYBE YOU THINK I'M A COMEDIAN.

MAYBE THIS IS ALL ONE BIG JOKE TO YOU.

MY MONEY?!

A BARREL OF FUCKIN' LAUGHS, HUH?

WELL, I DON'T HEAR NOBODY LAUGHIN'...

SHITBREATH.

I CAN GET YOU... 2,000.

YOU OWE ME 10 Gs!

THAT MAKES YOU OFF BY, WHAT?

I THINK WHAT YOU NEEDS...

A MATH LESSON.

UHH!

UHH!

UHH!

UHH!

AH, YOU MOOKS! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YA?

SO, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

Woman: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M WEARING, KEN.

COME ON, I'VE BEEN COOPED UP IN A VIRUS LAB FOR 3 DAYS.

HUMOR ME.

WELL, I'M WEARING A BLUE POLYESTER R.A.T. UNIFORM

WITH THESE FABULOUS STYRENE STRETCH SOCKS

AND THE MOST INCREDIBLE DURAPLASTIC WORK BOOTS.

ARE YOU HOT YET?

I MEANT...UNDERNEATH.

HEH, WELL, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THAT,

YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY ME DINNER.

WHAT?! I TOOK YOU--

HACKERS.

KENJ?

HELLO?

"ERASING AERIAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM"?!

"SYSTEM FAILURE"? LOUSY GODDAMN COMPUTER.

NO, GODDAMN IT!

[SCREAMING]

Female computer voice: WARNING. SKYBUS IMPACT.

[ALARM]

CURRENTLY, THE DEATH TOLL IN LAST NIGHT'S TRAGIC SKYBUS ACCIDENT

STANDS AT 47, WITH OVER A HUNDRED OTHER PEOPLE SERIOUSLY INJURED.

BAFFLED INTERWEB OFFICIALS ARE STILL TRYING TO DETERMINE

WHAT CAUSED THE RAPID AIR TRANSIT COMPUTER SYSTEM TO FAIL.

PHILLIP.

THERE'S NO PROOF, ALEX, THAT OUR VIRUS CAUSED THIS CRASH.

KENJI WAS ON THE PHONE WITH SOMEONE AT SKYBUS CONTROL.

COINCIDENCE.

BULLSHIT!

I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU

THAT COMPUTER SYSTEMS FAIL ON A REGULAR BASIS.

THAT'S WHAT OUR WORK IS ALL ABOUT. PREVENTING--

PREVENTING HACKERS FROM DOING WHAT THEY JUST DID TO US.

SUPPOSE IT HAPPENS AGAIN? SUPPOSE OUR VIRUS GETS OUT

AND DECIDES NOT TO COME BACK NEXT TIME?

YOUR FATHER ASSURES ME IT'S LOCKED UP.

IN AN ELECTROMAGNETIC CONTAINMENT FIELD.

THE ACCESS CODES ARE KNOWN ONLY TO MYSELF.

GOOD. THEN THAT'S SETTLED.

NOTHING IS SETTLED, MR. JERVIS.

PHILLIP, WOULD YOU SPEAK WITH YOUR DAUGHTER?

I TEE OFF WITH MR. OSHIGA IN AN HOUR.

I EXPECT THE PROGRESS REPORT ON MY DESK TONIGHT.

SO, THAT'S IT?

PLEASE, ALEX, TRY TO UNDERSTAND--

WE CAN'T CONTROL IT.

WE ARE CLOSE TO A BREAKTHROUGH--

47 PEOPLE--

AND NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT!

I'M AN OLD MAN, ALEX.

IF THIS SUCCEEDS...

THEY'LL REMEMBER ME.

AND IF WE DON'T?

SO, HOW'D IT GO?

TERRIFIC. 47 PEOPLE ARE DEAD,

AND JERVIS WANTS A PROGRESS REPORT.

I'LL GET ON IT.

[SIGHS] OH, GOD...

EXCUSE ME.

SORRY ABOUT THE MESS.

THAT'S OK.

THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR, RIGHT?

DO YOU EVER JUST WISH YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME

AND DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY?

EVERY DAY.

HERE.

GO AHEAD.

THANK YOU.

UGH!

HOW DO YOU DRINK THAT STUFF?

PRACTICE.

HEH.

SURE THIS IS OK, JOHNNY?

I DON'T WANNA GET YOU IN TROUBLE.

LONG AS YOU SIGNED OUT, NOBODY WILL KNOW NOTHIN'.

SUPPOSE THAT SCHRECK CHARACTER COMES LOOKING FOR YOU HERE?

TELL HIM I GOT TRANSFERRED.

Sportscaster: 4th INNING AT FENWAY, CUBS LEADING 5-0.

RODRIGUEZ STILL LOOKING FOR THAT ELUSIVE FIRST WIN OF THE SEASON.

YOU GOTTA WONDER RIGHT NOW IF THE MEXICAN'S BEST DAYS

AREN'T ALREADY BEHIND HIM... [STATIC]

NO.

BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BAAH!

HUH? THINK YOU'RE BAD?

YOU AIN'T BAD. YOU'RE DEAD, BUT YOU AIN'T BAD.

LOOKS LIKE IT'S INVASION OF THE RUG DOCTORS, JOHN.

MAYBE THEY CAN DO SOMETHING

ABOUT JERVIS' HAIRPIECE WHILE THEY'RE AT IT.

YEAH, GOOD LUCK.

Female computer voice: CAUTION:

YOU ARE ENTERING A SECURED PERIMETER.

LOOKS LIKE THEY GOT AUTHORIZATION,

BUT I NEVER SEEN THIS COMPANY BEFORE.

YEAH, I SEE 'EM. I'LL GO LET 'EM IN.

RODRIGUEZ WITH THE WIND-UP...

[CRACK] HOLY MOLY!

LOOKS LIKE IT'S... IT'S OUTTA HERE! OH, MY!

NO...

NO!

Computer: YOU ARE CLEARED TO ENTER.

CHECK.

HELLO.

HI.

NEED YOU TO SIGN IN.

[RAPID BEEPING]

WHERE TO?

FOURTH FLOOR.

THAT'S FUNNY. AREN'T ANY CARPETS ON THE FOURTH FLOOR.

SURE YOU DON'T WANT THE THIRD FLOOR?

[BEEP]

[ELECTRONIC WHOOSHING]

[ARABIAN MUSIC PLAYS]

UHH!

YEAH, YOU WATCH IT. I'LL BE BACK, OK?

[SILENCED GUNSHOT]

HEY, YOU WANNA DIE? YOU WANNA DIE?!

MOVE! MOVE!

BYE-BYE! HA HA HA!

BYE-BYE! HA HA HA HA!

WHOOO!

HA HA HA HA! WHOO-HOO-HOO!

COME ON, HURRY UP! GET OUTTA HERE!

[ELECTRONIC WHOOSHING]

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA! WHOO-HOO!

GET IN HERE.

THIS IS TRAVIS. I'M IN THE SADDLE.

HAVE YOU ACTIVATED THE INTRUDER SYSTEM?

DONE DEAL, COACH.

AIN'T NOBODY COMIN' IN. AIN'T NOTHIN' GOIN' OUT.

THAT ALL RIGHT WITH YOU, RAMIREZ BUDDY?

HA HA HA HA!

OUTSTANDING, NUMB.

YOU'RE A GOOD BOY.

Terrorist: COME ON, GET IN THERE!

[SOBBING]

MOVE IT!

SHUT UP!

WHAT THE HELL?

HEY!

HEY!

SHUT UP!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

GOOD EVENING, DOCTORS.

WHY ARE YOU NOT SMILING? IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT.

THIS IS A LAB, NOT A GODDAMNED SIDESHOW!

WHO'S IN CHARGE?

I AM.

[SCREAMS AND GASPS]

WRONG ANSWER.

GET THE POINT?

AH...DR. ROYCE, I PRESUME.

OH...THANK YOU.

ANYTIME.

AAH!

[MUSIC STOPS]

[MUSIC RESTARTS]

CAN'T WIN FOR LOSING.

NASSIM, LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

ALEX!

HA HA!

STAY.

AND THAT IS... EVERYBODY.

GOOD.

YOU HAVE YOUR FATHER'S EYES.

I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR WORK ON THE INTERNET.

WHAT A MARVELOUS INVENTION--

THE FIRST BIOLOGICALLY AUGMENTED COMPUTER VIRUS.

BRILLIANT, DR. ROYCE. TRULY BRILLIANT.

OF COURSE, THOSE 40 PEOPLE ON THE SKYBUS

MIGHT HAVE A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT OPINION.

WHOO! NOW, THAT MUST'VE KEPT THE CORONER'S OFFICE BUSY FOR QUITE A WHILE.

OUR VIRUS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

THAT WAS A COINCIDENCE.

FACE IT, PHILIP.

YOUR SMART VIRUS OUTSMARTED YOU.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

FAIR QUESTION.

WE LIVE IN A BRAVE NEW WORLD, DOCTOR--

A WORLD WHERE COMPUTERS CONTROL

EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE,

FROM NUCLEAR WEAPONS PROGRAMS TO TRAFFIC LIGHTS,

GOVERNMENTS, MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS,

THE AVERAGE MAN--ALL SLAVES

TO THOSE INVISIBLE PULSES OF INFORMATION,

FLOWING THROUGH THE VEINS OF A WORLDWIDE COMPUTER NETWORK.

BUT IF ONE MAN POSSESSED A SUPERVIRUS,

AND WITH A SINGLE PHONE CALL

COULD DISRUPT THE ENTIRE MATRIX--

INDEED, CREATE INSTANTANEOUS GLOBAL CHAOS--

THEN YOU WOULD HAVE TO RECKON WITH THIS MAN, WOULD YOU NOT?

YOU'RE PLAYING GOD?

AFTER TONIGHT, GOD WILL BE LUCKY

IF I EVEN RETURN HIS PHONE CALLS.

THE QUESTION IS, DR. ROYCE...

DO YOU HAND OVER THE VIRUS...

OR DO I HAVE TO CREATE A VERY LARGE HOLE IN YOUR FRONTAL LOBE?

I CAN'T.

WRONG ANSWER, PHIL.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THE VIRUS IS PROGRAMMED INTO A BIOLOGICAL HOST.

IT CANNOT SURVIVE OUTSIDE OF THESE COMPUTERS.

EVEN IF YOU COULD GET IT OUT, IT'S TOO UNPREDICTABLE.

YOU'D NEVER BE ABLE TO CONTROL IT.

JUST UNLOCK THE PROGRAM, DOCTOR.

I'LL WORRY ABOUT THE DETAILS.

OH, SHIT.

DEV, ROUND UP THE GUYS.

I WANNA BE OUT OF HERE IN 15 MINUTES.

HEY, JOHNNY...

SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.

I WENT TO TAKE A LEAK AND LOCKED MYSELF OUT.

LOOKS LIKE RODRIGUEZ'S BIG COMEBACK AIN'T WORTH SHIT, HUH?

HEH HEH...HMM?

JOHNNY?

JOHNNY--

JOHNNY!

NO...

JOHNNY.

[ELEVATOR CHIRPS]

THIS JOB GETTIN' TOO EASY FOR ME, MON.

WE KNOCK ON THE DOOR, AND THEY OPEN IT WIDE.

BOOYAH!

LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY.

HA HA HA!

SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO YOU, ALEX.

IT'S TOO LATE NOW.

MAYBE NOT.

[KEYSTROKES]

[COMPUTER ALARM]

NO!

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

IDIOT!

COME HERE, RUNT!

HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE?

ONE HOUR.

WHO KNOWS THE ABORT SEQUENCE?

THE MAN YOU JUST MURDERED.

AND WHO PROGRAMMED THE SYSTEM?

[SNARLS]

NO...NO...

[SOBBING]

SO...YOU CAN BREAK YOUR FATHER'S CODES.

AND JUST LET YOU WALK OUT?

TO BE OR NOT TO BE? THAT IS THE QUESTION.

IT'S A SIMPLE EQUATION, DOCTOR--

IF THE VIRUS DIES, YOU ALL DIE.

AND IF YOU GET IT?

THEN WE ALL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

NOW, YOU'VE GOT 57 MINUTES.

TRAVIS TO NASSIM. WE'VE GOT US A STRAY.

WHO?

LOOKS LIKE A JANITOR.

SHIT.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU GOT EVERYONE ON THE LIST.

I DID GET EVERYONE ON THE LIST.

EXCEPT THE JANITOR.

SHUT UP!

DEVON. WHAT?

MOP IT UP.

SHIT.

UHH!

HOO-HA! HA HA!

YOU IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME, JANITOR BOY!

OK, WHO ORDERED THE JANITOR SANDWICH?

ME.

BASEMENT!

SHIT!

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, NICK, HUH?

I THINK YOU'RE FUCKED. THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

DEVON.

GRRR!

HOW CLOSE?

I-I'VE DECIPHERED THE FIRST SEQUENCE.

THERE'S 2 MORE.

EXCELLENT, DOCTOR. JUST KEEP REMINDING YOURSELF--

"IF THE VIRUS DIES, I DIE."

Devon: NASSIM, I LOST HIM.

WHAT?

I LOST HIM.

DEV, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE.

NUMB...

WATCH HER.

MY FATHER WAS A SCIENTIST, TOO.

NEURO-PSYCHIATRY.

YOU SEE, PUSSYCAT... ONE DAY...

THERE I WAS...

JUST SITTIN' THERE...

CUTEST LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY YOU EVER DID SEE.

AND ONE INCISION...

RIGHT HERE...

RIGHT HERE.

[SKIN SIZZLING]

BINGO!

HA HA HA HA! NO MORE PAIN.

YOU LOST A JANITOR?

MAYBE HE SHOULD STICK TO CARPET CLEANING.

THERE'S NO WAY HE COULD'VE GOT OUT

OF THAT BASEMENT, NASSIM. NO WAY.

TRAVIS. YEAH?

GO INTO THE COMPUTER AND BRING UP THE VENT SYSTEM.

ROGER. HEH HEH.

YOU GOT IT? GOT IT.

YEAH. NOW KEY INTO THE HEAT SENSORS.

YOU BETCHA.

TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE.

HEH HEH! JANITOR MEAT.

YEAH. WELL, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

NASSIM WAS RIGHT.

YOU GOT YOUR FATHER'S EYES.

THOSE MUST BE YOUR MOTHER'S.

LISTEN, NUMB...

I'D LOVE TO WATCH YOU MUTILATE YOURSELF SOME MORE, BUT...

I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

YEAH?

AIN'T THAT TOO BAD?

I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON THE CODES, NUMB.

YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

MOVE YOUR ASS!

YOU GOT 2 MINUTES, PUSSYCAT.

MAKE IT COUNT.

DO YOU MIND?

NOT AT ALL.

Travis over radio: HEY, DEV, ONCE YOU'RE IN,

HEAD STRAIGHT AND TAKE YOUR FIRST RIGHT.

DOC, I'M HERE.

NICK?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, NICK?

I'M ON A PACKAGE TOUR. WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?

NICK, WE'RE IN TROUBLE.

YEAH, I KNOW. WHAT DO THEY WANT?

OUR VIRUS.

OH, GREAT.

NICK, HE KILLED MY FATHER, THAT SON OF A BITCH.

WHAT?! WHO?

I DON'T KNOW. SOME--SOME WEIRD GUY.

HE'S GOT HORRIBLE EYES AND WHITE HAIR.

HE LOOKS LIKE A LAB RAT ON STEROIDS.

NASSIM.

YEAH.

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

LISTEN, ALEX, WHATEVER YOU DO,

DO NOT MESS WITH THIS GUY. YOU UNDERSTAND?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT.

I HAVE LESS THAN AN HOUR BEFORE THE VIRUS SELF-DESTRUCTS,

AND THEN KENJI-- EVERYBODY DIES, NICK.

IF YOU GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS, HE'LL LET YOU LIVE?

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

WHILE MILLIONS ON THE OUTSIDE DON'T.

I GOT NEWS FOR YOU, DOC.

YOU'RE GONNA BUY IT EITHER WAY.

I KNOW HOW THIS GUY OPERATES.

THEN YOU HAVE TO STOP HIM.

I HAVE TO STOP HIM?

I HATE TO DISAPPOINT YOU, DOC,

BUT I'M A JANITOR. I MOP FLOORS.

BEING A HERO WAS NOT IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION.

YOU WANT ME TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

I'LL CHANGE A LIGHTBULB. FINE.

Numb: TIME'S UP, PUSSYCAT.

COMING!

[TOILET FLUSHES]

NICK, WE DON'T NEED A JANITOR.

WHAT?

DO YOU WANT THE JOB OR NOT?

I'LL STALL THEM AS LONG AS I CAN.

LET'S GO, PUSSYCAT.

ALL RIGHT.

[GROAN]

THIS IS KILLING MY BACK, MON.

I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE, DEV.

WHY WE GOT TO GO CHASE THIS JANITOR, MON?

Travis: HE'S ON THE MOVE.

[CLUNK]

UNHH!

ALL RIGHT!

JANITOR BOY MUST'VE CAUGHT YOU SLEEPIN' ON THE JOB, EH?

GET HIM!

Travis: HEY, SAL, HE'S STRAIGHT AHEAD.

SAL, YOU SHOULD BE RIGHT ON HIM.

HE'S RIGHT THERE.

WHAT THE HELL?!

AAAH!

AIEEEEE!

AAAAAAH!

AAH! AAH! OHH!

AAAAARRGGHHH!

UHH! ARGGHH!

IS THIS WHY I BROUGHT YOU ALONG, DEV,

SO YOU COULD GET YOUR NOSE BROKEN?

BY A JANITOR.

LISTEN, YOU-- ENOUGH!

DEVON, FIND THE JANITOR AND KILL IT.

I HAVE ENOUGH DISTRACTIONS.

Sportscaster: WELL, HERE IT IS, THE TOP OF THE SIXTH,

AND THE NEPTUNES ARE TAKING A POUNDING.

SHIT.

SUPPOSE IT ISN'T A JANITOR.

WHO?

I DON'T KNOW. SUPPOSE IT ISN'T.

MEGHAN, GO WITH DEVON.

HAVE FUN...

BUT BE CAREFUL.

IT'S GONNA FEEL SO GOOD.

YEAH, I KNOW.

WE'VE GOT COMPANY, NASSIM.

TRAVIS, PATCH ME IN. I WANNA SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

Computer: YOU ARE ENTERING A SECURED PERIMETER.

PLEASE IDENTIFY.

Nassim: DEACTIVATE IT.

PERIMETER DEACTIVATED.

HEY, JOHNNY, HOW ABOUT A BREAK, HUH?

YEAH, OUR TREAT.

WE GOT SOME FINE GOURMET CUISINE HERE.

LOOK, WE GOT CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE.

WE GOT ECLAIRS.

WE GOT, UH, RASPBERRY CREAM FILLING.

WE GOT MAPLE BARS.

WE GOT, UH, HONEY-DIPPED.

WE GOT A BLUEBERRY SHIT THAT BILL PICKED OUT.

NOT TONIGHT...

FELLAS. GOTTA WATCH...

THE CALORIES.

COME ON, JOHNNY. LIVE A LITTLE.

JOHN...

WIFE SAYS I'M TOO FAT AS IT IS.

[MUFFLED] UP HERE! HEY!

I DON'T LIKE BLUEBERRY.

IT'S A HOLOGRAM!

YOU WANT THE ECLAIR, DON'T YOU?

YES, I DO. OK, YOU READY?

YEAH. OK...1, 2, 3.

WAIT A MINUTE.

JOHN DOESN'T HAVE A WIFE.

Computer: WARNING: POWER FAILURE.

WARNING: POWER FAILURE.

BOB, CHECK THIS OUT.

EMERGENCY POWER ACTIVATED NOW.

WRONG MOVE, SHERIFF.

JESUS H. CHRIST!

HEH HEH!

YEEHAH! WHOO-HOO!

OUTSTANDING. TRAVIS...

YOU JUST EARNED "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH."

DAMN.

NOW, WHERE IS OUR VIRUS?

Travis: HE'S IN 8409.

I'M THERE.

[BEEP]

CODE...BLUE.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE ON OUR OWN, PEDRO.

Computer: YOUR REPLICATORS ARE READY.

REPLICATORS?

Computer: YOUR REPLICATORS ARE READY.

WHERE ARE YOU?

I'M AT THE LAST SEQUENCE.

GOOD. MAYBE YOU'LL LIVE A LONG LIFE AFTER ALL.

WHAT'S WRONG?

THE ENCRYPTION CODE--

IT ISN'T WRITTEN IN MATHEMATICAL TERMS.

A RANDOM, 9-LETTER CODE?

CHRIST, THAT COULD BE ANYTHING!

COME HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT.

YOU SEE THIS MAN? NOW TRY TO PICTURE HIM

WITH HIS BRAIN SPLATTERED ALL OVER THAT TERMINAL.

DO YOU HAVE AN IMAGE IN YOUR MIND, DOCTOR?

YES, I DO.

GOOD! BREAK THE CODE, DR. ROYCE,

NOT MY HEART.

[SOTTO] 9-LETTER CIPHER. IT HAS TO BE--

I KNOW WHAT IT IS, KENJI.

GODDAMN IT, NICK, WHERE ARE YOU?

Nassim: WHERE IS OUR VIRUS?

HE'S CLOSE. I CAN SMELL THE FLOOR WAX.

JANITOR BUG: NORTH CORRIDOR.

BEHIND YOU, DEV.

EAST CORRIDOR! EAST CORRIDOR!

REEF IN THE WEST CORRIDOR. HE'S MINE!

NORTH CORRIDOR.

MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND!

WHAT THE HELL?!

HOLD YOUR FIRE! HOLD YOUR FIRE!

AAAAH!

HERE'S YOUR JANITOR, BULLETHEAD!

UHH!

TIME TO GO TO SLEEP!

[MACHINE GUN BURSTS]

[SIRENS]

Dispatcher: 291, RESPOND.

291, RESPOND, PLEASE.

[SIRENS]

[GROANING]

PLEASE... HELP ME...

[SOOTHING] SURE, DEV...

I'LL HELP.

LOVE TO.

NUUHHNN--

GAAH!

OHH!

[SIRENS]

[SCREECHES]

ALL RIGHT.

EVERYONE STAY BACK TILL I TELL YOU TO MOVE!

AAH!

J.P., WHAT DO YOU GOT?

MURPH FOREIGN INTRUSION SYSTEM,

500,000 VOLT PERIMETER CANNONS, FAIL-SAFE BACKUP GENS.

ANYBODY TRY TO GO IN?

YEAH, 2.

HELL OF A WEEK TO QUIT DRINKING.

[MUFFLED SCREAM]

[TRANSMITTER BUZZES]

Nassim: MEGHAN?

MEGHAN, WHAT'S HAPPENING, BABY?

WHAT'S HAPPENING IS

YOUR DRAGON LADY'S HANGING UPSIDE DOWN.

ANY MORE QUESTIONS?

JUST ONE.

WHO IS THIS?

[MUFFLED SCREAMS]

YOU DON'T KNOW?

EH?

THIS IS THE JANITOR.

I DIDN'T KNOW THEY TAUGHT GUERRILLA WARFARE AT JANITOR SCHOOL.

THEY DON'T...

NASSIM.

Radio: RODRIGUEZ WITH THE PITCH.

IT'S A POP FLY TO CENTER!

REDBOUER GOING BACK, AND HE MAKES THE CATCH!

ANDERSON TAGGING UP.

Nick: YOU READY?

REDBOUER THROWS TO HOME PLATE, AND...

HERE WE GO.

HE'S OUT OF THERE!

[MUFFLED SCREAMS]

ADIOS, AMIGO.

[MUFFLED SCREAM]

Transmitter: TRAVIS TO NASSIM.

WHAT?

GOT SOME BAD NEWS.

DEV?

LOOKS LIKE HE'S DEAD.

AH. HOW?

I DON'T KNOW.

JANITOR?

YEAH.

SHIT.

HUH.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE VIRUS PROBLEM OF YOUR OWN.

YEAH?

AAH!

STOP IT!

Sportscaster: WHAT I'M SEEING I DON'T BELIEVE.

THE NEPTUNES ACT LIKE THEY REALLY WANNA WIN THIS GAME.

GO, TEAM.

WHO IS THIS GUY?

WHO IS THIS JANITOR?

I DON'T KNOW A JANITOR.

LIAR!

HIS NAME IS NICK. THAT'S ALL I KNOW.

I SWEAR.

THAT'S BETTER.

TRAVIS? Travis: YEAH?

BRING UP THE PERSONNEL FILE.

ROGER.

START WITH THE JANITORS.

YOU BET YA.

GUY'S FIRST NAME IS NICK.

AH...

NICK JAMES.

NICK. NICK.

I USED TO FUCK A GUY IN PRISON NAMED NICK.

NO. THAT WAS NICK JONES.

NICK JAMES.

DOES IT HURT, OFFICER?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

PROVE TO YOU I'M NOT SUCH A BAD GUY.

I'M GONNA PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY.

FUCK YOU.

NO. FUCK YOU.

YOU'RE DEAD.

[ELECTRONIC BUZZ]

Dieter: LIEUTENANT HORNING, THE PROBE IS ACTIVATED.

I'M SENDING IT IN.

[ELECTRONIC PULSE]

CYCLOPS IN POSITION?

JA.

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

ROPE THAT LITTLE STEER, BOY!

JAMES, ARE YOU THERE?

CONGRATULATIONS, NASSIM.

WHAT DID YOU DO, LOOK UP MY FILE?

I'M GONNA MAKE THIS VERY SIMPLE FOR YOU, JANITOR JAMES.

I'M SITTING IN A ROOM FULL OF VERY HELPLESS, VERY FRIGHTENED PEOPLE.

IN A MOMENT, ONE OF THEM IS GOING TO CONTRACT

A .44 CALIBER SINUS INFECTION.

TO AVERT THIS TRAGEDY,

I SUGGEST YOU COME DOWN HERE AND PRAY THAT I FORGIVE YOU.

AND EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER, RIGHT?

IT'S UP TO YOU.

I REMEMBER MAKING A DEAL LIKE THIS ONCE BEFORE, NASSIM.

A LOT OF GOOD IT DID ME. A LOT OF GOOD IT DID NANCE.

A LOT OF GOOD IT'S GONNA DO THOSE PEOPLE.

YOU ARE PLAYING A DANGEROUS GAME, JANITOR.

SO ARE YOU.

GET OUT.

OH, MY GOD!

THERE.

YOU'RE TAKING THIS TOO SERIOUS, JANITOR BOY.

REEF DON'T WANNA HURT YOU.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO SMOKE US A NICE SPLIFF TOGETHER?

WHY YOU DON'T LIKE ME SMOKE?

I GUESS THEN I GOING HAVE TO KILL YOU!

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

JANITOR MAN?

[REEF SCREAMS IN PAIN]

[ELECTRONIC BUZZ]

WE ARE ON THE INSIDE.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE WHAT WE'VE GOT.

YOU, YOU'RE STALLING.

I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN.

YOU LYING-- NASSIM.

YEAH, TRAVIS.

HE'S HEADED FOR THE LAB.

NUMB.

ERASE THIS PISSANT.

Nassim: GO ON.

COME ON. COME ON!

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

ZOOM LEFT.

A LITTLE CLOSER.

STOP.

CARPET CLEANER?

WHAT HAVE WE GOT?

SOME KIND OF WHACKO ON THE LOOSE?

[WHISTLING]

WHOO!

MISSED ME!

HOLD IT THERE.

[GRUNTS]

READY OR NOT, HERE I COME.

[GRUNTS]

PEEK-A-BOO.

[LAUGHS] YOU'RE IT.

COME ON.

COME ON OUT.

GIVE ME THE GUN.

GIVE ME THE GUN.

GIVE ME THE GUN!

OH!

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

[LAUGHS]

[GRUNTS]

AAH.

FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT, HUH?

I THINK IT'S TIME TO FINISH THIS PARTY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, HUH?

[CHOKES]

[GRUNTS]

SUCK ON THIS.

GO IN.

OOH.

NASSIM, HE'S OUTSIDE THE LAB.

SHIT.

Cyclops: STOP! THIS IS POLICE PROBE CYCLOPS.

WELL. WELL. WELL. LOOK WHO'S HERE.

ZERO, ZERO, "S", "G".

LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPON.

YOU ARE A SUSPECTED PERPETRATOR.

WHAT?

LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPON.

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?

SCHEISSE!

Horning: WHAT'S HAPPENING?

THIS CRABBY MAN SHOT MY PROBE.

THIS IS POLICE PROBE CYCLOPS.

YOU HAVE ASSAULTED POLICE PROPERTY.

SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY OR FACE TERMINATION.

I'M THE GOOD GUY, YOU STUPID MACHINE.

YOUR RESPONSE IS INAPPROPRIATE.

THE GUYS YOU WANT ARE IN THERE.

LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPON.

[ENGINE STOPS]

[SCREAMS]

COME ON. COME ON.

COME ON.

SHIT.

[GRUNTS]

[CREAKS]

[CLICKS]

YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

A POLICE PROBE JUST CURED OUR JANITOR VIRUS.

YES!

BYE-BYE, JANITOR! COME HERE!

ALL RIGHT, DOC. THE TIME FOR GAMES ARE OVER.

NOW BREAK THE CODE!

THAT'S IT!

YOU KNEW IT ALL THE TIME, BITCH!

YES!

WE'RE IN.

MEGHAN.

PREPARE THE ASSIMILATOR.

[MOANS]

[CREAKS]

Radio: BOTTOM OF THE NINTH, CHICAGO LEADS 12-10.

NEPTUNES ARE 3 RUNS AWAY FROM THE BIGGEST COMEBACK IN CLUB HISTORY.

[RADIO STATIC]

Announcer: AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR.

NICK?

DOC.

NICK, ARE YOU OK?

COULD BE WORSE. WE'RE ONLY DOWN BY 2 RUNS.

[SIGHS]

SOME COMEBACK, HUH?

NO!

[GASPS]

DOC?

DOC.

NO!

[VIDEO TAPE REWINDS]

WAIT A SECOND.

WELL. WELL. WELL. LOOK WHO'S HERE.

I KNOW THIS GUY.

HE'S COMING IN AND OUT OF SMITTY'S PLACE ALL THE TIME.

MAJOR LEAGUE BOOZER, EX-COP.

WHAT?

JESUS, WHAT'S HE DOING?

BURNING OUT.

GET ME A S.W.A.T. TEAM HERE, J.P.

YESTERDAY!

Officer: KEEP YOUR HEADS DOWN.

JERRY!

Officer: LET'S GO! HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT!

YOU SAY THIS GUY'S AN EX-COP?

YEAH. HE USED TO WORK DETECTING TEAM.

CRACKED UP AFTER HE GOT HIS PARTNER KILLED ON A BUST.

BEEN FIRED TWICE FOR DRINKING.

ANY HOSTAGES?

JUST A LOT OF BODIES SO FAR, AND I DON'T WANT ANY MORE.

I WANT THIS GUY, JERRY.

[BEEP]

LINK UP!

[ELECTRONIC HUM]

AAH!

[GRUNTS]

OH!

[METAL CREAKS]

[NICK SCREAMS]

READY, MEGHAN.

WHAT INTRIGUED ME ABOUT YOUR FATHER'S DISCOVERY

WAS HIS BIOLOGICAL COMPONENT...

HENCE, THE ASSIMILATOR.

MEGHAN WILL DOWNLOAD THE VIRUS

INTO A COMPUTER CHIP INSIDE MY BRAIN.

AND WHEN YOUR BODY REJECTS IT?

RISK IS A STEPCHILD OF ADMISSION, DOCTOR.

IF MY SYSTEM REJECTS THE VIRUS,

I DIE.

BUT IF IT DOESN'T,

THE VIRUS AND I BECOME ONE.

I WILL BE ABLE TO CONTROL IT AT WILL...

DIRECT IT WITH MY THOUGHT WAVES ANYWHERE...

AT ANY TIME.

[ELECTRONIC PULSE]

AAH!

Sportscaster: SWING... AND IT'S A MISS.

THE COUNT'S 3 AND 2.

IT'S ALL RIDING ON THE MEXICAN'S SHOULDERS NOW.

AND, HEY, I'LL SAY ONE THING,

WIN OR LOSE,

YOU COULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN A BETTER FINISH.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS COMEBACK, BOB?

WELL, FRANK, FRANKLY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THE NEPTUNES STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO

TO GET BACK TO TOP FORM.

AND WITH OVER HALF THE SEASON GONE...

OK, JAMES.

FULL COUNT.

AGHH...

AHH...

IT'S HOLY.

COME ON...

S.W.A.T.!

LET THEM COME.

Radio: MALLOY WINDS UP TO THROW.

RODRIGUEZ BETTER REACH WAY DOWN.

COME ON, PEDRO.

HERE'S THE PITCH...

SWING!

RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN!

RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN!

NO!

MY RADIO.

HAH!

SENTRY SYSTEM OFF.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

WE JAMMIN' NOW.

OK! ELEVATOR!

HOLMAN!

WE TAKE THIS ONE FOR INSURANCE

AND LET THE OTHER ONES LIVE.

BUT THEY'RE WITNESSES.

PRECISELY.

THE ONLY WITNESSES TO WHAT OCCURRED HERE TONIGHT.

ARE YOU OK, BABY?

NEVER BETTER. COME ON.

NICK!

CLEANUP TIME.

SHIT.

STAY.

DROP IT!

AAGH!

AAH!

[SCREAMING]

THEY'RE FALLING DOWN!

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

MOVE 'EM OVER THERE!

HELP HIM! HOLD HIM DOWN!

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

COME ON.

STOP IT!

STOP--

HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!

[ENERGY CHARGE]

JAMES. THAT SON OF A BITCH.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

YES.

JAMES!

END OF THE LINE, PARTNER.

NO! UHH! I'M TELLING YOU,

YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY!

UHH!

WHAT HAPPENED, JAMES?

SMITTY CUT OFF YOUR TAB?

THE GUY YOU WANT'S OUTSIDE, DAMN IT!

A HELLUVA WAY TO WORK OFF YOUR FRUSTRATIONS!

GET THIS PIECE OF SHIT OUTTA HERE!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

WE GOT A SUSPECT!

OFFICER DOWN!

EVERYONE TAKE COVER!

WHERE'S IT COMING FROM?

FROM UP THERE!

FREEZE!

JAMES!

BOOT UP.

DISPATCH, COME IN.

Police radio: GO AHEAD, PHOENIX.

IN PURSUIT OF SUSPECT HEADING WEST ON OLD SCHOOL ROAD.

SUSPECT IS DRIVING STOLEN UNIT.

REQUEST A TRACE.

ON YOUR KNEES.

YOU'RE VERY FORTUNATE, ALEXANDRA,

TO BE HERE ON SUCH AN AUSPICIOUS OCCASION.

IN 2 MINUTES,

I WILL HAVE FORMED A DIRECT LINK

WITH EVERY MAN, WOMAN, AND CHILD

ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET.

TELEVISION,

SATELLITE,

COMPUTER NETWORKS.

TOGETHER, THEY WILL SIMULCAST MY MESSAGE

TO THE ENTIRE WORLD.

THE SECOND COMING IS HERE!

ALL NATIONS WILL KNEEL BEFORE THEIR NEW MASTER

OR SUFFER HIS WRATH!

YOU'RE INSANE.

PERHAPS.

I CHOOSE TO THINK OF IT AS...

ACUTE AWARENESS.

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

OBSERVE, MY DEAR.

IT'S COMING.

SUBMIT, JAMES,

OR THE WHORE WILL PERISH.

YOU GOT A BAD HABIT

OF KILLING MY FRIENDS, NASSIM.

STILL BLAMING ME FOR YOUR PARTNER, OFFICER JAMES?

LET US BE HONEST WITH OURSELVES.

YOU HAD A CLEAN SHOT, JUST LIKE SHE SAID.

BUT YOU LOST YOUR NERVE.

OH, I PULLED THE TRIGGER,

BUT YOU KILLED HER.

DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF,

JANITOR JAMES.

YOU CAN'T HELP WHO YOU ARE.

IT'S SIMPLE GENETICS.

FAILURE IS ENCODED IN YOUR DNA.

NOW...DROP YOUR WEAPON, SLAVE.

DROP IT!

OH, MY GOD.

IT'S OK.

IT'S OK.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

OH, MY GOD.

IT'S SPREADING.

WHAT?

THE VIRUS-- IF IT GETS OUT,

IT'LL AFFECT EVERY NETWORK IN THE WORLD.

THERE WON'T BE ANY GOING BACK.

WE HAVE TO STOP IT.

HOW?

HOW CAN WE DO THAT?

MY PROGRAM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M HACKING INTO THE DATABASE AT QRL.

I WROTE A PROGRAM AFTER THE SKYBUS CRASH.

IF I CAN RETRIEVE THE PROGRAM,

MAYBE I CAN INITIATE IT FROM HERE.

HURRY.

AHH...

AHH...

ALEX.

[LAUGHING]

OH, GOD.

I AM THE LIGHT AND THE WAY!

I AM THE KINGDOM AND THE GLORY!

I AM ETERNAL!

YEAH, RIGHT.

COME ON.

YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME!

THAT'S IT. THERE IT IS.

[GROANING]

AAAH!

OHHHH!

WE DID IT.

WE ERADICATED IT.

IT'S OVER.

JAMES.

WHAT CAN I SAY?

WHEN I'M WRONG, I'M WRONG.

WHEN YOU SEE SMITTY,

TELL HIM I SAID "HI."

HEY, HORNING.

TELL HIM YOURSELF.

PARTNER.

OFFICER JAMES.

WELCOME BACK.

THANKS.

OFFICER.

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW

WHO WON THE GAME TONIGHT, WOULD YOU?

Alex: I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

BELIEVE IT.

HOMERED IN THE NINTH?

I GUESS HE WAS TIRED OF LOSING.

THEY STILL NEED AN OUTFIELD.

THEY GOT A GREAT OUT--

OK, FINE.

THEY NEED SOME HELP IN THEIR OUTFIELD.

NOW WILL YOU STOP BUGGING ME?

NEVER.

Alex: YOU WANT TO KNOW MY THEORY?

James: CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER OR SOMETHING?

ONLY MORRIS IS A NATURAL THIRD BASEMAN.

SINCE WHEN?

SINCE HIS ROOKIE YEAR. HE BATTED A .370.

YOU SWITCH HIM TO RIGHT, AND THE GUY'S A BUM.