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1
00:00:06,921 --> 00:00:10,073
Oh. Come on,
get in there.
2
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,074
Uhh!
3
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:13,243
A little short.
4
00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:15,328
Aw! Nothing but pocket.
5
00:00:15,396 --> 00:00:17,597
On top of the key.
Fade away.
6
00:00:21,502 --> 00:00:23,003
What are you doing?
7
00:00:23,071 --> 00:00:26,206
Just playing
a little spoonerball.
8
00:00:26,274 --> 00:00:27,674
In the pocket
is one point,
9
00:00:27,741 --> 00:00:29,609
between the glasses
and face-2 points,
10
00:00:29,677 --> 00:00:33,479
and in the mouth,
that's your 3-pointer.
11
00:00:33,547 --> 00:00:36,816
And choking him to death,
how does that factor in?
12
00:00:36,884 --> 00:00:39,453
10-point bonus.
13
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,388
Come on. Give it a shot.
Give it a shot.
14
00:00:41,456 --> 00:00:43,506
No. I'm not gonna
throw food at my father.
15
00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:45,375
What about that chicken leg
last week?
16
00:00:45,443 --> 00:00:46,293
Ah, excuse me,
17
00:00:46,361 --> 00:00:49,012
he threw peas
at me first.
18
00:00:49,079 --> 00:00:50,796
Come on.
Let's see what you got.
19
00:00:50,864 --> 00:00:52,249
Ok, maybe just one.
20
00:00:52,317 --> 00:00:53,300
Ok.
21
00:00:55,436 --> 00:00:56,803
Ok, one more.
22
00:00:56,871 --> 00:00:58,921
One more.
All right.
23
00:00:58,989 --> 00:01:01,374
Ahh. No. You gotta-
you gotta arc it.
24
00:01:01,442 --> 00:01:03,543
Keep your elbows in,
like that, just arc it.
25
00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:04,644
There ya go.
26
00:01:04,711 --> 00:01:05,895
Come on. Open up,
like that.
27
00:01:06,931 --> 00:01:08,632
Almost.
Ok, ok.
28
00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:09,699
Ok.
Oh!
29
00:01:09,767 --> 00:01:10,783
Come on.
30
00:01:18,893 --> 00:01:21,595
So I wasn't dreaming.
31
00:01:21,662 --> 00:01:22,712
Marvelous.
32
00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:25,999
Wait a second.
33
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,168
Where are the Dutch hookers?
34
00:02:11,293 --> 00:02:12,644
Voil�.
35
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,315
You didn't tell me
we were having cake.
36
00:02:17,382 --> 00:02:19,484
Yeah. I don't tell you about
cake early in the day anymore.
37
00:02:19,552 --> 00:02:21,186
It paralyzes you.
38
00:02:21,254 --> 00:02:22,637
Does not.
Oh, come on.
39
00:02:22,705 --> 00:02:26,608
Remember last time you were so
distracted you rear-ended a school bus?
40
00:02:26,643 --> 00:02:30,378
Ok, that was pie,
so don't rewrite history.
41
00:02:32,665 --> 00:02:34,333
Ahh! This milk
couldn't be warmer.
42
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,767
Yeah. The fridge
is acting up again.
43
00:02:35,835 --> 00:02:37,302
That's as cold
as it's gonna get.
44
00:02:38,621 --> 00:02:40,255
Hey! Come on, man!
45
00:02:40,322 --> 00:02:42,457
I want to see
if it's cold.
46
00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:44,693
She just poured it out
of the same carton.
47
00:02:44,761 --> 00:02:46,428
The milk on the bottom
is colder.
48
00:02:46,496 --> 00:02:47,562
No, it's not.
49
00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:49,731
Obviously, you've never
been locked overnight
50
00:02:49,799 --> 00:02:51,933
in a dairy
storage facility!
51
00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:54,703
Dad, will you stop? I
haven't worked for 2 months,
52
00:02:54,770 --> 00:02:56,538
so unless you have an extra
thousand bucks laying around
53
00:02:56,606 --> 00:02:59,006
to buy us a new refrigerator,
please, just drink it.
54
00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:07,331
All right, it's down.
55
00:03:07,399 --> 00:03:09,667
For now.
56
00:03:11,187 --> 00:03:13,071
Knock knock.
Hey, holly.
57
00:03:13,139 --> 00:03:15,240
Hey! Hey, Arthur,
you ready for bingo?
58
00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:18,844
Indeed I am.
What's with the kraut?
59
00:03:18,911 --> 00:03:20,746
This is my new dog shatzi.
60
00:03:20,813 --> 00:03:22,914
He retired from the police
force, and I adopted him.
61
00:03:22,982 --> 00:03:24,249
Police dog, huh?
62
00:03:24,316 --> 00:03:26,151
Before he starts barking,
I should tell you
63
00:03:26,218 --> 00:03:30,355
I have a fair amount of
contraband in my sock drawer.
64
00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:33,908
Oh, don't worry, Arthur.
He's a bomb-sniffing dog.
65
00:03:33,976 --> 00:03:37,646
He's a real hero, too. I met him
when they busted my boyfriend.
66
00:03:37,714 --> 00:03:41,250
So your boyfriend
was making a bomb?
67
00:03:41,317 --> 00:03:44,620
Soon-to-be ex-boyfriend,
believe you me.
68
00:03:44,687 --> 00:03:46,421
Ok, Arthur,
are you ready?
69
00:03:46,489 --> 00:03:48,590
All set.
See you kids later.
70
00:03:48,658 --> 00:03:49,591
Oh, cute hat.
71
00:03:49,659 --> 00:03:50,592
Thank you.
72
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,761
I found it
in a leaf pile.
73
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,331
Enh!
74
00:03:56,399 --> 00:03:58,716
Oh, this milk is warm.
You think it's dangerous?
75
00:03:58,784 --> 00:04:00,636
Well, I don't know, but
your dad had his finger in it,
76
00:04:00,703 --> 00:04:03,405
and it's the one he
works his ear with, so...
77
00:04:18,454 --> 00:04:20,238
He's in my dreams.
78
00:04:22,491 --> 00:04:24,359
Hey, dad, what's up?
79
00:04:24,427 --> 00:04:25,744
Big news.
80
00:04:25,811 --> 00:04:28,730
I was sitting next to Eleanor
melville at bingo tonight.
81
00:04:28,798 --> 00:04:32,283
She's the lady who lost an eye
in a sledding accident, remember?
82
00:04:32,351 --> 00:04:34,486
All right, he's goin'
in the hamper.
83
00:04:34,554 --> 00:04:36,154
Dad, it's kinda late.
84
00:04:36,222 --> 00:04:38,223
Could you just
get to the point?
85
00:04:38,291 --> 00:04:40,358
God bless
her lucky glass eye
86
00:04:40,426 --> 00:04:43,044
because tonight
I won the jackpot!
87
00:04:43,112 --> 00:04:45,897
Great. Take your 8 bucks
and get outta here.
88
00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:48,566
Does this look
like 8 bucks to you?
89
00:04:48,768 --> 00:04:50,234
Wow, how much is that?
90
00:04:50,302 --> 00:04:53,371
2,500 clams.
91
00:04:53,438 --> 00:04:56,558
$2,500? Oh, my God!
92
00:04:56,626 --> 00:04:58,943
At first I thought I'd put
it away for a rainy day,
93
00:04:59,011 --> 00:05:01,913
but then I realized, I got
no mortgage, no bills to pay,
94
00:05:01,981 --> 00:05:04,916
so I figured it's time for a.
Spooner to have a little fun.
95
00:05:04,984 --> 00:05:07,385
Starting tomorrow,
I'm queen for a day!
96
00:05:10,356 --> 00:05:12,624
Well... good for him.
97
00:05:18,664 --> 00:05:20,131
What?
98
00:05:20,198 --> 00:05:24,068
Did you notice anything wrong
with what just happened here?
99
00:05:24,136 --> 00:05:27,288
Other than his fly
being open?
100
00:05:27,356 --> 00:05:31,375
No. I'm numb
to that now.
101
00:05:31,443 --> 00:05:33,378
I mean the fact
that he didn't mention
102
00:05:33,446 --> 00:05:35,780
giving us any
of that money.
103
00:05:35,848 --> 00:05:37,982
Why should he?
It's his money.
104
00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:39,701
Are you kidding me,
Carrie?
105
00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:41,670
I mean, we spend thousands
of dollars on him.
106
00:05:41,738 --> 00:05:42,871
He said it himself.
107
00:05:42,938 --> 00:05:45,006
He's got no bills,
no mortgage to pay
108
00:05:45,074 --> 00:05:45,990
because we pay it,
109
00:05:46,058 --> 00:05:48,410
not to mention all
the food, clothing,
110
00:05:48,444 --> 00:05:50,445
medicine,
those 2 clarinets.
111
00:05:51,614 --> 00:05:54,733
Well, that's what you do
when a parent gets old.
112
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,170
I mean, he did take care of me
until I was almost... 15.
113
00:05:58,237 --> 00:06:00,338
And, meanwhile,
since you lost your job,
114
00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:02,940
we have not gotten one
thing for ourselves, not one!
115
00:06:03,008 --> 00:06:05,393
Do you know every night
before I go to bed,
116
00:06:05,461 --> 00:06:07,395
I look at
this golf catalog,
117
00:06:07,463 --> 00:06:09,030
but I can't get
anything in here.
118
00:06:09,097 --> 00:06:11,999
So this means nothing
to me!
119
00:06:13,803 --> 00:06:16,054
The point is, I want a
titanium fairway wood,
120
00:06:16,121 --> 00:06:17,455
and I want it now!
121
00:06:17,522 --> 00:06:19,790
And damn it, you deserve
something, too. What do you want?
122
00:06:19,859 --> 00:06:22,827
You know what we should buy
is a new refrigerator.
123
00:06:22,895 --> 00:06:24,329
Ok, so I'll
get the golf clubs,
124
00:06:24,396 --> 00:06:26,481
and the fridge
will be your thing.
125
00:06:26,548 --> 00:06:29,167
No. Why do I
get the boring thing?
126
00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:30,585
Fine. Then pick something
you want.
127
00:06:30,652 --> 00:06:32,753
I mean, the old fridge
is fine.
128
00:06:32,821 --> 00:06:35,840
Right now, we don't need
something to keep food fresh,
129
00:06:35,908 --> 00:06:39,494
we need something
to keep us fresh.
130
00:06:39,561 --> 00:06:42,280
Actually,
you know what I'd love?
131
00:06:42,348 --> 00:06:44,916
I'd love to go to that spa
right next door to bloomingdale's
132
00:06:44,984 --> 00:06:47,018
and get, like,
a whole day of beauty.
133
00:06:47,086 --> 00:06:50,188
Yes! God, you need
a day of beauty!
134
00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:52,157
Hey.
135
00:06:52,225 --> 00:06:55,192
You know
what I mean, ok?
136
00:06:55,227 --> 00:06:56,944
All right.
Well, you know what?
137
00:06:57,012 --> 00:07:01,215
Tomorrow morning, I will talk to
him. I will tell him how we feel,
138
00:07:01,283 --> 00:07:02,767
and I'm sure he'll
give us some of the money.
139
00:07:02,835 --> 00:07:05,803
Great. All right,
thank you.
140
00:07:05,872 --> 00:07:07,438
And if that doesn't
work, I'll just follow up
141
00:07:07,506 --> 00:07:10,124
with a lamp
to the back of the head.
142
00:07:10,192 --> 00:07:13,144
Not to kill him,
just to send a message.
143
00:07:13,212 --> 00:07:15,213
What do you think I am?
144
00:07:24,874 --> 00:07:26,440
Morning, daddy.
145
00:07:26,508 --> 00:07:29,144
Darling, I think I'm ready
to make my first purchase:
146
00:07:29,211 --> 00:07:33,548
The world's best
personal submarine.
147
00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:35,249
What do you think?
148
00:07:35,317 --> 00:07:39,670
World's best?
With no periscope?
149
00:07:39,738 --> 00:07:41,806
You're smarter than that.
150
00:07:41,874 --> 00:07:44,008
Speaking of that money,
151
00:07:44,076 --> 00:07:46,511
it's so great to see
someone in this house
152
00:07:46,579 --> 00:07:48,446
have some good luck
for a change.
153
00:07:48,514 --> 00:07:49,847
It certainly is.
154
00:07:49,915 --> 00:07:52,049
Lord knows Doug and I
haven't had any lately.
155
00:07:52,117 --> 00:07:53,217
That's putting it mildly.
156
00:07:53,285 --> 00:07:55,937
The thing is, um...
157
00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:59,874
We have certainly helped you
out quite a bit over the years.
158
00:07:59,942 --> 00:08:01,859
How so?
159
00:08:03,278 --> 00:08:07,315
Well, we've given you food,
clothing, shelter.
160
00:08:07,382 --> 00:08:10,702
Mm. I suppose you could
put that spin on it.
161
00:08:10,770 --> 00:08:14,406
And we were kind of hoping
162
00:08:14,473 --> 00:08:18,492
that you could help us out a
little bit, you know, money-wise.
163
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,529
Oh, I'd love to
be able to help.
164
00:08:20,596 --> 00:08:23,080
You kids have been
like family to me.
165
00:08:23,148 --> 00:08:25,567
What do you want?
166
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:26,551
Half.
167
00:08:26,618 --> 00:08:29,554
I meant, what specific items
do you want to purchase?
168
00:08:29,621 --> 00:08:31,956
I want golf clubs. She
wants a day of beauty.
169
00:08:32,024 --> 00:08:35,326
Fair enough. I'll give
your requests some thought
170
00:08:35,393 --> 00:08:37,545
and get back to you
in a day or so.
171
00:08:38,864 --> 00:08:41,716
But just to show my heart's
in the right place,
172
00:08:41,784 --> 00:08:45,887
how 'bout we paint the town
red tonight, my treat?
173
00:08:45,955 --> 00:08:48,456
Oh, we have plans
tonight, dad.
174
00:08:48,524 --> 00:08:49,707
Do you?
175
00:08:49,774 --> 00:08:54,145
That's
very disappointing.
176
00:08:54,213 --> 00:08:57,865
Oh, you know what?
We can cancel. No problem.
177
00:08:57,933 --> 00:08:59,867
Wonderful. I'll
pick you up at 5:30.
178
00:08:59,936 --> 00:09:02,003
Dress is smart casual.
179
00:09:49,668 --> 00:09:51,102
Don't overthink it, dad.
180
00:09:51,169 --> 00:09:54,272
That's what got you into trouble
back at the clown's mouth.
181
00:09:59,094 --> 00:10:01,646
That one was close.
182
00:10:06,985 --> 00:10:09,587
That one
was close, too.
183
00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:12,907
Be a pal.
Shove this in my eye.
184
00:10:12,975 --> 00:10:14,508
Ok... now!
185
00:10:17,546 --> 00:10:18,713
Now!
186
00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:24,118
Those blades are diabolical.
187
00:10:24,186 --> 00:10:27,221
Now. Now. Now. Now!
188
00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:30,591
Oh... what are the odds?
189
00:10:32,561 --> 00:10:33,561
Now.
190
00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:38,916
Thank God.
191
00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:44,856
Last night was so brutal.
192
00:10:44,924 --> 00:10:47,158
So when do we
get this money?
193
00:10:47,225 --> 00:10:48,343
I don't know,
but I should warn you:
194
00:10:48,411 --> 00:10:49,844
He told me to
keep Saturday open
195
00:10:49,912 --> 00:10:52,614
for a trip to
the American doll museum.
196
00:10:53,766 --> 00:10:55,567
Family meeting!
197
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:56,234
What?
198
00:10:56,302 --> 00:10:57,685
Calling a family meeting.
199
00:10:57,753 --> 00:11:00,154
Grab your drinks and kindly
follow me to the dining room.
200
00:11:00,222 --> 00:11:01,288
Chop chop.
201
00:11:03,191 --> 00:11:04,659
Come on.
202
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,219
Please rise for
the pledge of allegiance.
203
00:11:15,287 --> 00:11:19,073
If you choose, you may
omit the words, "under God."
204
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:21,326
Get on with it.
205
00:11:21,393 --> 00:11:22,726
Fine.
206
00:11:22,794 --> 00:11:24,728
First order of business,
207
00:11:24,796 --> 00:11:27,548
vis-�-vis, the items
you requested yesterday,
208
00:11:27,616 --> 00:11:29,717
unfortunately, no can do.
209
00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:32,554
What?
210
00:11:32,704 --> 00:11:34,672
Dad, you said you wanted to help us out.
211
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:38,125
I do. I'm going to
give you $1,000
212
00:11:38,193 --> 00:11:41,128
to purchase a new refrigerator.
213
00:11:41,196 --> 00:11:43,815
You know,
I got a better idea:
214
00:11:43,883 --> 00:11:45,466
Why don't you
give us $1,000,
215
00:11:45,534 --> 00:11:47,985
and we'll decide what we
want to do with it, ok?
216
00:11:48,053 --> 00:11:50,588
Oh, to be young and witless.
217
00:11:50,656 --> 00:11:53,525
Douglas, trust me,
you don't get to my position
218
00:11:53,592 --> 00:11:56,160
by throwing away money
on frivolous things.
219
00:11:56,228 --> 00:11:58,229
You wanted to
buy a submarine.
220
00:11:58,296 --> 00:12:01,349
Hey! When the only way out of
the city is through the sewers,
221
00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:03,885
you'll be begging to get in.
222
00:12:16,329 --> 00:12:19,799
I hate this.
223
00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,601
What? It's not like
we're getting nothing.
224
00:12:21,669 --> 00:12:24,970
I mean, the man is buying us
a new refrigerator.
225
00:12:25,038 --> 00:12:26,305
That's not the point.
Just 'cause he
226
00:12:26,373 --> 00:12:28,775
stumbled onto some money
like jed clampett,
227
00:12:28,843 --> 00:12:30,877
doesn't give him the right
to tell us what to do with it.
228
00:12:30,945 --> 00:12:32,178
This one looks nice.
229
00:12:32,245 --> 00:12:34,881
Oh, and look how big
the crispers are.
230
00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:36,282
Oh...
231
00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:38,284
Hey, don't
knock crispers.
232
00:12:38,352 --> 00:12:41,821
That's where I hide the
vegetables so they won't upset you.
233
00:12:41,889 --> 00:12:42,638
Fine. You know what?
234
00:12:42,706 --> 00:12:44,089
Let's just get it
and get outta here.
235
00:12:44,157 --> 00:12:46,309
Oh, look! Look
it's only 995.
236
00:12:46,377 --> 00:12:48,511
We can tell my dad it
cost the full thousand,
237
00:12:48,579 --> 00:12:53,049
and then we got 5
bucks left to par-tay.
238
00:12:53,117 --> 00:12:54,050
Hmm.
239
00:12:54,118 --> 00:12:55,185
What?
240
00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:57,987
Look, I really
don't feel right
241
00:12:58,055 --> 00:13:00,089
about lying
to my dad.
242
00:13:00,157 --> 00:13:01,590
Look, we
are not lying, ok?
243
00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:04,677
We told him we were going to
buy a refrigerator, and we did.
244
00:13:04,712 --> 00:13:07,147
The fact that we bought it from a queens
college student who was moving out of his dorm,
245
00:13:07,214 --> 00:13:09,932
that's our business.
246
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,470
Do you think he's gonna
believe that this cost $1,000?
247
00:13:13,537 --> 00:13:17,840
Carrie, the man thinks I
control the TV with my voice.
248
00:13:17,908 --> 00:13:19,642
Everybody wins this way,
all right?
249
00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:20,843
Your dad feels
like a big shot,
250
00:13:20,911 --> 00:13:23,229
we get a temporary fridge
for 68 bucks,
251
00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:27,883
and with the leftover change, new golf
clubs and a day at the spa for you.
252
00:13:27,951 --> 00:13:32,522
Oh, look at this.
Kenny's mom made meat loaf.
253
00:13:32,589 --> 00:13:33,673
Mine now.
254
00:13:37,278 --> 00:13:38,728
Hey, dad.
How was your walk?
255
00:13:38,795 --> 00:13:43,032
Not so good. Turns out the double-Dutch
kids don't appreciate heckling.
256
00:13:43,099 --> 00:13:47,303
Is this the new
refrigerator?
257
00:13:47,371 --> 00:13:49,205
Yeah.
258
00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:54,476
It's magnificent!
259
00:13:54,544 --> 00:13:57,914
Amazing how small they
can make things these days.
260
00:13:57,981 --> 00:14:00,683
God bless those Japanese.
261
00:14:06,524 --> 00:14:08,474
That was great today.
262
00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:11,544
We were hittin' 'em
pretty hard, huh?
263
00:14:11,612 --> 00:14:15,548
Oh, but you like it rough,
don't ya?
264
00:14:15,616 --> 00:14:17,266
Oh, yes, you doo-be
doo-be doo!
265
00:14:17,418 --> 00:14:19,719
I am back
from the spa.
266
00:14:19,787 --> 00:14:21,587
How do I look?
267
00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:23,056
Fantastic.
268
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:27,293
Soon as I'm done fondling
my new club, you're next.
269
00:14:27,361 --> 00:14:30,897
My massage was amazing.
270
00:14:30,964 --> 00:14:33,232
I had this
Russian guy-uri.
271
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:37,369
He had these huge hands, and
he found every knot in my body.
272
00:14:37,438 --> 00:14:41,607
Not a whole lot
of yap yap, you know?
273
00:14:41,675 --> 00:14:44,260
Just every couple of
"is good?
274
00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:46,429
Is good?"
275
00:14:46,496 --> 00:14:48,264
By the way, that's
all you need to say
276
00:14:48,331 --> 00:14:52,018
when we're,
you know, upstairs.
277
00:14:52,086 --> 00:14:55,438
So no more
mighty mouse theme?
278
00:14:55,505 --> 00:14:57,524
So, those the new clubs?
279
00:14:57,591 --> 00:14:59,725
Yeah. They're awesome.
280
00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:00,860
Look at the size
of that driver.
281
00:15:00,928 --> 00:15:02,528
It's as big
as a baby's head.
282
00:15:02,596 --> 00:15:05,531
Yeah. It's beautiful.
You deserve 'em.
283
00:15:05,599 --> 00:15:07,167
Yeah, um...
284
00:15:07,234 --> 00:15:08,868
The only problem is,
uh...
285
00:15:08,936 --> 00:15:11,204
I got these
great new woods,
286
00:15:11,272 --> 00:15:14,240
but I still have the
same old crappy irons.
287
00:15:14,308 --> 00:15:15,608
They're fine.
288
00:15:15,676 --> 00:15:17,410
No, they're not.
I mean, it's-
289
00:15:17,477 --> 00:15:20,046
it's like if you
got a day of beauty
290
00:15:20,114 --> 00:15:22,215
for only half
your face,
291
00:15:22,349 --> 00:15:24,933
and they left the other
side lookin' all...
292
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:26,935
Tired and yellow.
293
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:28,604
What are you gettin' at
here, Doug?
294
00:15:28,672 --> 00:15:30,640
Just maybe we could ask
your dad for some more money
295
00:15:30,707 --> 00:15:32,441
so I could
complete my set here.
296
00:15:32,509 --> 00:15:34,894
What? We can't
scam him again.
297
00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:36,062
It's a few hundred.
That's not even a scam.
298
00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,064
That's pullin' a fast one.
299
00:15:38,132 --> 00:15:42,001
Doug, believe me, don't think
I haven't thought about it, ok?
300
00:15:42,069 --> 00:15:43,336
They sell this thing
at the spa
301
00:15:43,404 --> 00:15:46,272
that turns your bathtub
into a whirlpool.
302
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,840
You don't think
I would kill for that?
303
00:15:47,908 --> 00:15:50,143
But lying to him again
is just wrong.
304
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,244
Wrong...
305
00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:53,863
Or very right?
306
00:15:53,931 --> 00:15:55,230
Wrong.
307
00:16:05,576 --> 00:16:07,577
Get out of here.
I'm naked.
308
00:16:08,879 --> 00:16:11,147
Why is that water
bubbling?
309
00:16:11,214 --> 00:16:12,415
Um...
310
00:16:12,482 --> 00:16:14,534
It's really hot?
311
00:16:16,553 --> 00:16:18,571
I cannot believe you!
312
00:16:18,639 --> 00:16:20,622
After you give me that whole
speech on how wrong this is,
313
00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:22,475
you go out
and buy this?!
314
00:16:22,543 --> 00:16:24,677
But it bubbles.
315
00:16:26,379 --> 00:16:27,997
How could you?
316
00:16:29,849 --> 00:16:31,867
It's just that your
golf clubs are forever,
317
00:16:31,935 --> 00:16:34,069
and my spa day
is gone,
318
00:16:34,137 --> 00:16:36,172
so I figured, it's only fair, you know?
319
00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:38,090
How did you get your dad
to give you the money?
320
00:16:38,158 --> 00:16:40,360
Well, you know how our
clock radio's been broken?
321
00:16:40,427 --> 00:16:42,094
Gave me $200
to get a new one.
322
00:16:42,162 --> 00:16:44,997
200? I got that free when I
ordered sports illustrated.
323
00:16:45,065 --> 00:16:47,333
Hey, I was only
shooting for 100,
324
00:16:47,401 --> 00:16:49,602
but then he started
talking about transistors
325
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,504
and how clever
those Japanese are.
326
00:16:51,572 --> 00:16:52,672
I just went with it.
327
00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:54,857
And you made me feel bad
about wanting more?
328
00:16:54,924 --> 00:16:56,292
Oh, it's on, baby.
329
00:16:56,359 --> 00:16:57,526
Where are you going?
330
00:16:57,695 --> 00:16:59,445
Oh, we got a house full
of appliances,
331
00:16:59,513 --> 00:17:01,447
and one's
about to go down.
332
00:17:06,537 --> 00:17:07,870
Oh, yeah.
333
00:17:07,938 --> 00:17:09,005
All right.
334
00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:14,944
Doug, no!
Not the DVD player!
335
00:17:15,012 --> 00:17:19,698
Carrie, this is a machine that uses
lasers to play movies from shiny disks.
336
00:17:19,766 --> 00:17:21,667
I could tell him
it cost a million dollars.
337
00:17:21,735 --> 00:17:25,137
Doug, no!
This has to stop.
338
00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:26,155
Why should it stop, Carrie?
339
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,191
What, am I beating you
to the punch?
340
00:17:28,258 --> 00:17:31,427
What, you got your eye on something
that'll make the toilet bubble, too?
341
00:17:31,494 --> 00:17:32,095
Yeah?
342
00:17:32,162 --> 00:17:33,780
Shh! Holly's here.
343
00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,047
Yeah,
I'm still here.
344
00:17:35,115 --> 00:17:35,848
Hi.
345
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:37,466
Hey, hey.
Yeah, go ahead.
346
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,636
$800? I don't have
that kind of money.
347
00:17:40,737 --> 00:17:42,087
Oh, this isn't good.
348
00:17:42,156 --> 00:17:43,822
What? What?
349
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,174
She needs money.
350
00:17:45,242 --> 00:17:48,161
And who do you think she's
gonna try to get it from? My dad.
351
00:17:48,228 --> 00:17:50,429
What do you care? You said you
were done getting money from him.
352
00:17:50,497 --> 00:17:53,248
Not if she's gonna
get it instead.
353
00:17:53,316 --> 00:17:56,035
If someone
is gonna scam my dad,
354
00:17:56,103 --> 00:17:59,771
it should at least be
someone who loves him.
355
00:17:59,839 --> 00:18:01,874
What does she need
the money for anyway?
356
00:18:01,942 --> 00:18:03,325
She finally
got that bill
357
00:18:03,393 --> 00:18:05,728
for that blonde they
pumped into her hair?
358
00:18:05,796 --> 00:18:07,897
Don't worry. Your dad probably
won't give her the money anyway.
359
00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:10,016
Oh, he will, the way
she kisses his butt.
360
00:18:10,084 --> 00:18:12,418
"Oh, Arthur, you look
so cute in that hat."
361
00:18:12,486 --> 00:18:14,887
You saw him. He looked
like a 90-year-old gilligan.
362
00:18:18,925 --> 00:18:24,113
By the way,
so does the real gilligan.
363
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:24,981
All right, you know what?
364
00:18:25,048 --> 00:18:26,399
Just break
the frickin' thing.
365
00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:27,900
We've gotta get that money.
All right, now,
366
00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:30,969
I'm gonna get the money,
and you keep holly busy, ok?
367
00:18:31,037 --> 00:18:32,104
All right, come on.
Hurry up! Hurry up!
368
00:18:32,172 --> 00:18:34,006
All right.
369
00:18:34,074 --> 00:18:38,411
Uh-huh. Ok, well, I'll just
try to figure something out
370
00:18:38,479 --> 00:18:39,979
and I'll get back to you.
371
00:18:40,047 --> 00:18:42,648
Thanks.
372
00:18:42,716 --> 00:18:44,683
Hey, what you
got there...
373
00:18:44,751 --> 00:18:46,019
Sweater?
374
00:18:48,389 --> 00:18:50,123
Sweaters are great,
375
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:53,526
but, ironically, they don't
handle sweat that well.
376
00:18:58,899 --> 00:19:00,783
They're very warm,
though.
377
00:19:03,019 --> 00:19:04,820
What's wrong?
378
00:19:04,888 --> 00:19:07,723
My new dog shatzi
needs an operation,
379
00:19:07,791 --> 00:19:10,125
and I can't afford it.
380
00:19:10,193 --> 00:19:13,228
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
381
00:19:13,296 --> 00:19:15,631
Turns out, all the stress
from working on the bomb squad
382
00:19:15,699 --> 00:19:16,966
weakened his heart,
383
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:18,968
and now there's some
kind of valve ripping,
384
00:19:19,035 --> 00:19:20,703
and if he doesn't
get the operation,
385
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,337
he's gonna be
in so much pain,
386
00:19:22,405 --> 00:19:23,873
they're gonna
put him down.
387
00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:28,310
Well, he had a good run.
He...
388
00:19:28,512 --> 00:19:30,045
Had a full life.
389
00:19:30,113 --> 00:19:32,881
He's 4.
390
00:19:32,949 --> 00:19:36,018
Yeah, but that's 28
in human years.
391
00:19:36,085 --> 00:19:38,020
That's when I
started fallin' apart.
392
00:19:39,473 --> 00:19:42,157
And the sad thing is,
he doesn't even know it.
393
00:19:42,225 --> 00:19:45,561
You know, he's just
this sweet lovable guy
394
00:19:45,629 --> 00:19:48,431
who just wants to
kiss you and be with you.
395
00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:54,470
I mean, he spent his
entire life saving people.
396
00:19:54,538 --> 00:19:57,105
And now there's no one
there to save him.
397
00:19:59,443 --> 00:20:01,577
We gotta give
the money to holly.
398
00:20:01,645 --> 00:20:03,629
What?! Why?!
399
00:20:03,696 --> 00:20:07,700
Because if we don't, we're gonna spend
eternity swimming in a lake of fire.
400
00:20:11,454 --> 00:20:12,939
Both of us?
401
00:20:13,006 --> 00:20:14,873
Give me this.
402
00:20:31,608 --> 00:20:32,875
Hey... dad?
403
00:20:32,943 --> 00:20:34,409
What's up?
404
00:20:34,477 --> 00:20:35,711
Guess what.
405
00:20:35,779 --> 00:20:37,947
I won at bingo again.
406
00:20:38,014 --> 00:20:39,798
Really?
How much?
407
00:20:39,866 --> 00:20:41,383
11 bucks.
408
00:20:41,451 --> 00:20:43,719
Family meeting. Chop chop.
29394
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