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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,921 --> 00:00:10,073 Oh. Come on, get in there. 2 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,074 Uhh! 3 00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:13,243 A little short. 4 00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:15,328 Aw! Nothing but pocket. 5 00:00:15,396 --> 00:00:17,597 On top of the key. Fade away. 6 00:00:21,502 --> 00:00:23,003 What are you doing? 7 00:00:23,071 --> 00:00:26,206 Just playing a little spoonerball. 8 00:00:26,274 --> 00:00:27,674 In the pocket is one point, 9 00:00:27,741 --> 00:00:29,609 between the glasses and face-2 points, 10 00:00:29,677 --> 00:00:33,479 and in the mouth, that's your 3-pointer. 11 00:00:33,547 --> 00:00:36,816 And choking him to death, how does that factor in? 12 00:00:36,884 --> 00:00:39,453 10-point bonus. 13 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,388 Come on. Give it a shot. Give it a shot. 14 00:00:41,456 --> 00:00:43,506 No. I'm not gonna throw food at my father. 15 00:00:43,574 --> 00:00:45,375 What about that chicken leg last week? 16 00:00:45,443 --> 00:00:46,293 Ah, excuse me, 17 00:00:46,361 --> 00:00:49,012 he threw peas at me first. 18 00:00:49,079 --> 00:00:50,796 Come on. Let's see what you got. 19 00:00:50,864 --> 00:00:52,249 Ok, maybe just one. 20 00:00:52,317 --> 00:00:53,300 Ok. 21 00:00:55,436 --> 00:00:56,803 Ok, one more. 22 00:00:56,871 --> 00:00:58,921 One more. All right. 23 00:00:58,989 --> 00:01:01,374 Ahh. No. You gotta- you gotta arc it. 24 00:01:01,442 --> 00:01:03,543 Keep your elbows in, like that, just arc it. 25 00:01:03,610 --> 00:01:04,644 There ya go. 26 00:01:04,711 --> 00:01:05,895 Come on. Open up, like that. 27 00:01:06,931 --> 00:01:08,632 Almost. Ok, ok. 28 00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:09,699 Ok. Oh! 29 00:01:09,767 --> 00:01:10,783 Come on. 30 00:01:18,893 --> 00:01:21,595 So I wasn't dreaming. 31 00:01:21,662 --> 00:01:22,712 Marvelous. 32 00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:25,999 Wait a second. 33 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,168 Where are the Dutch hookers? 34 00:02:11,293 --> 00:02:12,644 Voil�. 35 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,315 You didn't tell me we were having cake. 36 00:02:17,382 --> 00:02:19,484 Yeah. I don't tell you about cake early in the day anymore. 37 00:02:19,552 --> 00:02:21,186 It paralyzes you. 38 00:02:21,254 --> 00:02:22,637 Does not. Oh, come on. 39 00:02:22,705 --> 00:02:26,608 Remember last time you were so distracted you rear-ended a school bus? 40 00:02:26,643 --> 00:02:30,378 Ok, that was pie, so don't rewrite history. 41 00:02:32,665 --> 00:02:34,333 Ahh! This milk couldn't be warmer. 42 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,767 Yeah. The fridge is acting up again. 43 00:02:35,835 --> 00:02:37,302 That's as cold as it's gonna get. 44 00:02:38,621 --> 00:02:40,255 Hey! Come on, man! 45 00:02:40,322 --> 00:02:42,457 I want to see if it's cold. 46 00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:44,693 She just poured it out of the same carton. 47 00:02:44,761 --> 00:02:46,428 The milk on the bottom is colder. 48 00:02:46,496 --> 00:02:47,562 No, it's not. 49 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:49,731 Obviously, you've never been locked overnight 50 00:02:49,799 --> 00:02:51,933 in a dairy storage facility! 51 00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:54,703 Dad, will you stop? I haven't worked for 2 months, 52 00:02:54,770 --> 00:02:56,538 so unless you have an extra thousand bucks laying around 53 00:02:56,606 --> 00:02:59,006 to buy us a new refrigerator, please, just drink it. 54 00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:07,331 All right, it's down. 55 00:03:07,399 --> 00:03:09,667 For now. 56 00:03:11,187 --> 00:03:13,071 Knock knock. Hey, holly. 57 00:03:13,139 --> 00:03:15,240 Hey! Hey, Arthur, you ready for bingo? 58 00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:18,844 Indeed I am. What's with the kraut? 59 00:03:18,911 --> 00:03:20,746 This is my new dog shatzi. 60 00:03:20,813 --> 00:03:22,914 He retired from the police force, and I adopted him. 61 00:03:22,982 --> 00:03:24,249 Police dog, huh? 62 00:03:24,316 --> 00:03:26,151 Before he starts barking, I should tell you 63 00:03:26,218 --> 00:03:30,355 I have a fair amount of contraband in my sock drawer. 64 00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:33,908 Oh, don't worry, Arthur. He's a bomb-sniffing dog. 65 00:03:33,976 --> 00:03:37,646 He's a real hero, too. I met him when they busted my boyfriend. 66 00:03:37,714 --> 00:03:41,250 So your boyfriend was making a bomb? 67 00:03:41,317 --> 00:03:44,620 Soon-to-be ex-boyfriend, believe you me. 68 00:03:44,687 --> 00:03:46,421 Ok, Arthur, are you ready? 69 00:03:46,489 --> 00:03:48,590 All set. See you kids later. 70 00:03:48,658 --> 00:03:49,591 Oh, cute hat. 71 00:03:49,659 --> 00:03:50,592 Thank you. 72 00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:52,761 I found it in a leaf pile. 73 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,331 Enh! 74 00:03:56,399 --> 00:03:58,716 Oh, this milk is warm. You think it's dangerous? 75 00:03:58,784 --> 00:04:00,636 Well, I don't know, but your dad had his finger in it, 76 00:04:00,703 --> 00:04:03,405 and it's the one he works his ear with, so... 77 00:04:18,454 --> 00:04:20,238 He's in my dreams. 78 00:04:22,491 --> 00:04:24,359 Hey, dad, what's up? 79 00:04:24,427 --> 00:04:25,744 Big news. 80 00:04:25,811 --> 00:04:28,730 I was sitting next to Eleanor melville at bingo tonight. 81 00:04:28,798 --> 00:04:32,283 She's the lady who lost an eye in a sledding accident, remember? 82 00:04:32,351 --> 00:04:34,486 All right, he's goin' in the hamper. 83 00:04:34,554 --> 00:04:36,154 Dad, it's kinda late. 84 00:04:36,222 --> 00:04:38,223 Could you just get to the point? 85 00:04:38,291 --> 00:04:40,358 God bless her lucky glass eye 86 00:04:40,426 --> 00:04:43,044 because tonight I won the jackpot! 87 00:04:43,112 --> 00:04:45,897 Great. Take your 8 bucks and get outta here. 88 00:04:45,965 --> 00:04:48,566 Does this look like 8 bucks to you? 89 00:04:48,768 --> 00:04:50,234 Wow, how much is that? 90 00:04:50,302 --> 00:04:53,371 2,500 clams. 91 00:04:53,438 --> 00:04:56,558 $2,500? Oh, my God! 92 00:04:56,626 --> 00:04:58,943 At first I thought I'd put it away for a rainy day, 93 00:04:59,011 --> 00:05:01,913 but then I realized, I got no mortgage, no bills to pay, 94 00:05:01,981 --> 00:05:04,916 so I figured it's time for a. Spooner to have a little fun. 95 00:05:04,984 --> 00:05:07,385 Starting tomorrow, I'm queen for a day! 96 00:05:10,356 --> 00:05:12,624 Well... good for him. 97 00:05:18,664 --> 00:05:20,131 What? 98 00:05:20,198 --> 00:05:24,068 Did you notice anything wrong with what just happened here? 99 00:05:24,136 --> 00:05:27,288 Other than his fly being open? 100 00:05:27,356 --> 00:05:31,375 No. I'm numb to that now. 101 00:05:31,443 --> 00:05:33,378 I mean the fact that he didn't mention 102 00:05:33,446 --> 00:05:35,780 giving us any of that money. 103 00:05:35,848 --> 00:05:37,982 Why should he? It's his money. 104 00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:39,701 Are you kidding me, Carrie? 105 00:05:39,769 --> 00:05:41,670 I mean, we spend thousands of dollars on him. 106 00:05:41,738 --> 00:05:42,871 He said it himself. 107 00:05:42,938 --> 00:05:45,006 He's got no bills, no mortgage to pay 108 00:05:45,074 --> 00:05:45,990 because we pay it, 109 00:05:46,058 --> 00:05:48,410 not to mention all the food, clothing, 110 00:05:48,444 --> 00:05:50,445 medicine, those 2 clarinets. 111 00:05:51,614 --> 00:05:54,733 Well, that's what you do when a parent gets old. 112 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:58,170 I mean, he did take care of me until I was almost... 15. 113 00:05:58,237 --> 00:06:00,338 And, meanwhile, since you lost your job, 114 00:06:00,406 --> 00:06:02,940 we have not gotten one thing for ourselves, not one! 115 00:06:03,008 --> 00:06:05,393 Do you know every night before I go to bed, 116 00:06:05,461 --> 00:06:07,395 I look at this golf catalog, 117 00:06:07,463 --> 00:06:09,030 but I can't get anything in here. 118 00:06:09,097 --> 00:06:11,999 So this means nothing to me! 119 00:06:13,803 --> 00:06:16,054 The point is, I want a titanium fairway wood, 120 00:06:16,121 --> 00:06:17,455 and I want it now! 121 00:06:17,522 --> 00:06:19,790 And damn it, you deserve something, too. What do you want? 122 00:06:19,859 --> 00:06:22,827 You know what we should buy is a new refrigerator. 123 00:06:22,895 --> 00:06:24,329 Ok, so I'll get the golf clubs, 124 00:06:24,396 --> 00:06:26,481 and the fridge will be your thing. 125 00:06:26,548 --> 00:06:29,167 No. Why do I get the boring thing? 126 00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:30,585 Fine. Then pick something you want. 127 00:06:30,652 --> 00:06:32,753 I mean, the old fridge is fine. 128 00:06:32,821 --> 00:06:35,840 Right now, we don't need something to keep food fresh, 129 00:06:35,908 --> 00:06:39,494 we need something to keep us fresh. 130 00:06:39,561 --> 00:06:42,280 Actually, you know what I'd love? 131 00:06:42,348 --> 00:06:44,916 I'd love to go to that spa right next door to bloomingdale's 132 00:06:44,984 --> 00:06:47,018 and get, like, a whole day of beauty. 133 00:06:47,086 --> 00:06:50,188 Yes! God, you need a day of beauty! 134 00:06:50,256 --> 00:06:52,157 Hey. 135 00:06:52,225 --> 00:06:55,192 You know what I mean, ok? 136 00:06:55,227 --> 00:06:56,944 All right. Well, you know what? 137 00:06:57,012 --> 00:07:01,215 Tomorrow morning, I will talk to him. I will tell him how we feel, 138 00:07:01,283 --> 00:07:02,767 and I'm sure he'll give us some of the money. 139 00:07:02,835 --> 00:07:05,803 Great. All right, thank you. 140 00:07:05,872 --> 00:07:07,438 And if that doesn't work, I'll just follow up 141 00:07:07,506 --> 00:07:10,124 with a lamp to the back of the head. 142 00:07:10,192 --> 00:07:13,144 Not to kill him, just to send a message. 143 00:07:13,212 --> 00:07:15,213 What do you think I am? 144 00:07:24,874 --> 00:07:26,440 Morning, daddy. 145 00:07:26,508 --> 00:07:29,144 Darling, I think I'm ready to make my first purchase: 146 00:07:29,211 --> 00:07:33,548 The world's best personal submarine. 147 00:07:33,616 --> 00:07:35,249 What do you think? 148 00:07:35,317 --> 00:07:39,670 World's best? With no periscope? 149 00:07:39,738 --> 00:07:41,806 You're smarter than that. 150 00:07:41,874 --> 00:07:44,008 Speaking of that money, 151 00:07:44,076 --> 00:07:46,511 it's so great to see someone in this house 152 00:07:46,579 --> 00:07:48,446 have some good luck for a change. 153 00:07:48,514 --> 00:07:49,847 It certainly is. 154 00:07:49,915 --> 00:07:52,049 Lord knows Doug and I haven't had any lately. 155 00:07:52,117 --> 00:07:53,217 That's putting it mildly. 156 00:07:53,285 --> 00:07:55,937 The thing is, um... 157 00:07:56,005 --> 00:07:59,874 We have certainly helped you out quite a bit over the years. 158 00:07:59,942 --> 00:08:01,859 How so? 159 00:08:03,278 --> 00:08:07,315 Well, we've given you food, clothing, shelter. 160 00:08:07,382 --> 00:08:10,702 Mm. I suppose you could put that spin on it. 161 00:08:10,770 --> 00:08:14,406 And we were kind of hoping 162 00:08:14,473 --> 00:08:18,492 that you could help us out a little bit, you know, money-wise. 163 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,529 Oh, I'd love to be able to help. 164 00:08:20,596 --> 00:08:23,080 You kids have been like family to me. 165 00:08:23,148 --> 00:08:25,567 What do you want? 166 00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:26,551 Half. 167 00:08:26,618 --> 00:08:29,554 I meant, what specific items do you want to purchase? 168 00:08:29,621 --> 00:08:31,956 I want golf clubs. She wants a day of beauty. 169 00:08:32,024 --> 00:08:35,326 Fair enough. I'll give your requests some thought 170 00:08:35,393 --> 00:08:37,545 and get back to you in a day or so. 171 00:08:38,864 --> 00:08:41,716 But just to show my heart's in the right place, 172 00:08:41,784 --> 00:08:45,887 how 'bout we paint the town red tonight, my treat? 173 00:08:45,955 --> 00:08:48,456 Oh, we have plans tonight, dad. 174 00:08:48,524 --> 00:08:49,707 Do you? 175 00:08:49,774 --> 00:08:54,145 That's very disappointing. 176 00:08:54,213 --> 00:08:57,865 Oh, you know what? We can cancel. No problem. 177 00:08:57,933 --> 00:08:59,867 Wonderful. I'll pick you up at 5:30. 178 00:08:59,936 --> 00:09:02,003 Dress is smart casual. 179 00:09:49,668 --> 00:09:51,102 Don't overthink it, dad. 180 00:09:51,169 --> 00:09:54,272 That's what got you into trouble back at the clown's mouth. 181 00:09:59,094 --> 00:10:01,646 That one was close. 182 00:10:06,985 --> 00:10:09,587 That one was close, too. 183 00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:12,907 Be a pal. Shove this in my eye. 184 00:10:12,975 --> 00:10:14,508 Ok... now! 185 00:10:17,546 --> 00:10:18,713 Now! 186 00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:24,118 Those blades are diabolical. 187 00:10:24,186 --> 00:10:27,221 Now. Now. Now. Now! 188 00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:30,591 Oh... what are the odds? 189 00:10:32,561 --> 00:10:33,561 Now. 190 00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:38,916 Thank God. 191 00:10:41,870 --> 00:10:44,856 Last night was so brutal. 192 00:10:44,924 --> 00:10:47,158 So when do we get this money? 193 00:10:47,225 --> 00:10:48,343 I don't know, but I should warn you: 194 00:10:48,411 --> 00:10:49,844 He told me to keep Saturday open 195 00:10:49,912 --> 00:10:52,614 for a trip to the American doll museum. 196 00:10:53,766 --> 00:10:55,567 Family meeting! 197 00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:56,234 What? 198 00:10:56,302 --> 00:10:57,685 Calling a family meeting. 199 00:10:57,753 --> 00:11:00,154 Grab your drinks and kindly follow me to the dining room. 200 00:11:00,222 --> 00:11:01,288 Chop chop. 201 00:11:03,191 --> 00:11:04,659 Come on. 202 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:15,219 Please rise for the pledge of allegiance. 203 00:11:15,287 --> 00:11:19,073 If you choose, you may omit the words, "under God." 204 00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:21,326 Get on with it. 205 00:11:21,393 --> 00:11:22,726 Fine. 206 00:11:22,794 --> 00:11:24,728 First order of business, 207 00:11:24,796 --> 00:11:27,548 vis-�-vis, the items you requested yesterday, 208 00:11:27,616 --> 00:11:29,717 unfortunately, no can do. 209 00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:32,554 What? 210 00:11:32,704 --> 00:11:34,672 Dad, you said you wanted to help us out. 211 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:38,125 I do. I'm going to give you $1,000 212 00:11:38,193 --> 00:11:41,128 to purchase a new refrigerator. 213 00:11:41,196 --> 00:11:43,815 You know, I got a better idea: 214 00:11:43,883 --> 00:11:45,466 Why don't you give us $1,000, 215 00:11:45,534 --> 00:11:47,985 and we'll decide what we want to do with it, ok? 216 00:11:48,053 --> 00:11:50,588 Oh, to be young and witless. 217 00:11:50,656 --> 00:11:53,525 Douglas, trust me, you don't get to my position 218 00:11:53,592 --> 00:11:56,160 by throwing away money on frivolous things. 219 00:11:56,228 --> 00:11:58,229 You wanted to buy a submarine. 220 00:11:58,296 --> 00:12:01,349 Hey! When the only way out of the city is through the sewers, 221 00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:03,885 you'll be begging to get in. 222 00:12:16,329 --> 00:12:19,799 I hate this. 223 00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,601 What? It's not like we're getting nothing. 224 00:12:21,669 --> 00:12:24,970 I mean, the man is buying us a new refrigerator. 225 00:12:25,038 --> 00:12:26,305 That's not the point. Just 'cause he 226 00:12:26,373 --> 00:12:28,775 stumbled onto some money like jed clampett, 227 00:12:28,843 --> 00:12:30,877 doesn't give him the right to tell us what to do with it. 228 00:12:30,945 --> 00:12:32,178 This one looks nice. 229 00:12:32,245 --> 00:12:34,881 Oh, and look how big the crispers are. 230 00:12:34,949 --> 00:12:36,282 Oh... 231 00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:38,284 Hey, don't knock crispers. 232 00:12:38,352 --> 00:12:41,821 That's where I hide the vegetables so they won't upset you. 233 00:12:41,889 --> 00:12:42,638 Fine. You know what? 234 00:12:42,706 --> 00:12:44,089 Let's just get it and get outta here. 235 00:12:44,157 --> 00:12:46,309 Oh, look! Look it's only 995. 236 00:12:46,377 --> 00:12:48,511 We can tell my dad it cost the full thousand, 237 00:12:48,579 --> 00:12:53,049 and then we got 5 bucks left to par-tay. 238 00:12:53,117 --> 00:12:54,050 Hmm. 239 00:12:54,118 --> 00:12:55,185 What? 240 00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:57,987 Look, I really don't feel right 241 00:12:58,055 --> 00:13:00,089 about lying to my dad. 242 00:13:00,157 --> 00:13:01,590 Look, we are not lying, ok? 243 00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:04,677 We told him we were going to buy a refrigerator, and we did. 244 00:13:04,712 --> 00:13:07,147 The fact that we bought it from a queens college student who was moving out of his dorm, 245 00:13:07,214 --> 00:13:09,932 that's our business. 246 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,470 Do you think he's gonna believe that this cost $1,000? 247 00:13:13,537 --> 00:13:17,840 Carrie, the man thinks I control the TV with my voice. 248 00:13:17,908 --> 00:13:19,642 Everybody wins this way, all right? 249 00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:20,843 Your dad feels like a big shot, 250 00:13:20,911 --> 00:13:23,229 we get a temporary fridge for 68 bucks, 251 00:13:23,296 --> 00:13:27,883 and with the leftover change, new golf clubs and a day at the spa for you. 252 00:13:27,951 --> 00:13:32,522 Oh, look at this. Kenny's mom made meat loaf. 253 00:13:32,589 --> 00:13:33,673 Mine now. 254 00:13:37,278 --> 00:13:38,728 Hey, dad. How was your walk? 255 00:13:38,795 --> 00:13:43,032 Not so good. Turns out the double-Dutch kids don't appreciate heckling. 256 00:13:43,099 --> 00:13:47,303 Is this the new refrigerator? 257 00:13:47,371 --> 00:13:49,205 Yeah. 258 00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:54,476 It's magnificent! 259 00:13:54,544 --> 00:13:57,914 Amazing how small they can make things these days. 260 00:13:57,981 --> 00:14:00,683 God bless those Japanese. 261 00:14:06,524 --> 00:14:08,474 That was great today. 262 00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:11,544 We were hittin' 'em pretty hard, huh? 263 00:14:11,612 --> 00:14:15,548 Oh, but you like it rough, don't ya? 264 00:14:15,616 --> 00:14:17,266 Oh, yes, you doo-be doo-be doo! 265 00:14:17,418 --> 00:14:19,719 I am back from the spa. 266 00:14:19,787 --> 00:14:21,587 How do I look? 267 00:14:21,655 --> 00:14:23,056 Fantastic. 268 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:27,293 Soon as I'm done fondling my new club, you're next. 269 00:14:27,361 --> 00:14:30,897 My massage was amazing. 270 00:14:30,964 --> 00:14:33,232 I had this Russian guy-uri. 271 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:37,369 He had these huge hands, and he found every knot in my body. 272 00:14:37,438 --> 00:14:41,607 Not a whole lot of yap yap, you know? 273 00:14:41,675 --> 00:14:44,260 Just every couple of "is good? 274 00:14:44,327 --> 00:14:46,429 Is good?" 275 00:14:46,496 --> 00:14:48,264 By the way, that's all you need to say 276 00:14:48,331 --> 00:14:52,018 when we're, you know, upstairs. 277 00:14:52,086 --> 00:14:55,438 So no more mighty mouse theme? 278 00:14:55,505 --> 00:14:57,524 So, those the new clubs? 279 00:14:57,591 --> 00:14:59,725 Yeah. They're awesome. 280 00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:00,860 Look at the size of that driver. 281 00:15:00,928 --> 00:15:02,528 It's as big as a baby's head. 282 00:15:02,596 --> 00:15:05,531 Yeah. It's beautiful. You deserve 'em. 283 00:15:05,599 --> 00:15:07,167 Yeah, um... 284 00:15:07,234 --> 00:15:08,868 The only problem is, uh... 285 00:15:08,936 --> 00:15:11,204 I got these great new woods, 286 00:15:11,272 --> 00:15:14,240 but I still have the same old crappy irons. 287 00:15:14,308 --> 00:15:15,608 They're fine. 288 00:15:15,676 --> 00:15:17,410 No, they're not. I mean, it's- 289 00:15:17,477 --> 00:15:20,046 it's like if you got a day of beauty 290 00:15:20,114 --> 00:15:22,215 for only half your face, 291 00:15:22,349 --> 00:15:24,933 and they left the other side lookin' all... 292 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:26,935 Tired and yellow. 293 00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:28,604 What are you gettin' at here, Doug? 294 00:15:28,672 --> 00:15:30,640 Just maybe we could ask your dad for some more money 295 00:15:30,707 --> 00:15:32,441 so I could complete my set here. 296 00:15:32,509 --> 00:15:34,894 What? We can't scam him again. 297 00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:36,062 It's a few hundred. That's not even a scam. 298 00:15:36,130 --> 00:15:38,064 That's pullin' a fast one. 299 00:15:38,132 --> 00:15:42,001 Doug, believe me, don't think I haven't thought about it, ok? 300 00:15:42,069 --> 00:15:43,336 They sell this thing at the spa 301 00:15:43,404 --> 00:15:46,272 that turns your bathtub into a whirlpool. 302 00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:47,840 You don't think I would kill for that? 303 00:15:47,908 --> 00:15:50,143 But lying to him again is just wrong. 304 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,244 Wrong... 305 00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:53,863 Or very right? 306 00:15:53,931 --> 00:15:55,230 Wrong. 307 00:16:05,576 --> 00:16:07,577 Get out of here. I'm naked. 308 00:16:08,879 --> 00:16:11,147 Why is that water bubbling? 309 00:16:11,214 --> 00:16:12,415 Um... 310 00:16:12,482 --> 00:16:14,534 It's really hot? 311 00:16:16,553 --> 00:16:18,571 I cannot believe you! 312 00:16:18,639 --> 00:16:20,622 After you give me that whole speech on how wrong this is, 313 00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:22,475 you go out and buy this?! 314 00:16:22,543 --> 00:16:24,677 But it bubbles. 315 00:16:26,379 --> 00:16:27,997 How could you? 316 00:16:29,849 --> 00:16:31,867 It's just that your golf clubs are forever, 317 00:16:31,935 --> 00:16:34,069 and my spa day is gone, 318 00:16:34,137 --> 00:16:36,172 so I figured, it's only fair, you know? 319 00:16:36,239 --> 00:16:38,090 How did you get your dad to give you the money? 320 00:16:38,158 --> 00:16:40,360 Well, you know how our clock radio's been broken? 321 00:16:40,427 --> 00:16:42,094 Gave me $200 to get a new one. 322 00:16:42,162 --> 00:16:44,997 200? I got that free when I ordered sports illustrated. 323 00:16:45,065 --> 00:16:47,333 Hey, I was only shooting for 100, 324 00:16:47,401 --> 00:16:49,602 but then he started talking about transistors 325 00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,504 and how clever those Japanese are. 326 00:16:51,572 --> 00:16:52,672 I just went with it. 327 00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:54,857 And you made me feel bad about wanting more? 328 00:16:54,924 --> 00:16:56,292 Oh, it's on, baby. 329 00:16:56,359 --> 00:16:57,526 Where are you going? 330 00:16:57,695 --> 00:16:59,445 Oh, we got a house full of appliances, 331 00:16:59,513 --> 00:17:01,447 and one's about to go down. 332 00:17:06,537 --> 00:17:07,870 Oh, yeah. 333 00:17:07,938 --> 00:17:09,005 All right. 334 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:14,944 Doug, no! Not the DVD player! 335 00:17:15,012 --> 00:17:19,698 Carrie, this is a machine that uses lasers to play movies from shiny disks. 336 00:17:19,766 --> 00:17:21,667 I could tell him it cost a million dollars. 337 00:17:21,735 --> 00:17:25,137 Doug, no! This has to stop. 338 00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:26,155 Why should it stop, Carrie? 339 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,191 What, am I beating you to the punch? 340 00:17:28,258 --> 00:17:31,427 What, you got your eye on something that'll make the toilet bubble, too? 341 00:17:31,494 --> 00:17:32,095 Yeah? 342 00:17:32,162 --> 00:17:33,780 Shh! Holly's here. 343 00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,047 Yeah, I'm still here. 344 00:17:35,115 --> 00:17:35,848 Hi. 345 00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:37,466 Hey, hey. Yeah, go ahead. 346 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,636 $800? I don't have that kind of money. 347 00:17:40,737 --> 00:17:42,087 Oh, this isn't good. 348 00:17:42,156 --> 00:17:43,822 What? What? 349 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,174 She needs money. 350 00:17:45,242 --> 00:17:48,161 And who do you think she's gonna try to get it from? My dad. 351 00:17:48,228 --> 00:17:50,429 What do you care? You said you were done getting money from him. 352 00:17:50,497 --> 00:17:53,248 Not if she's gonna get it instead. 353 00:17:53,316 --> 00:17:56,035 If someone is gonna scam my dad, 354 00:17:56,103 --> 00:17:59,771 it should at least be someone who loves him. 355 00:17:59,839 --> 00:18:01,874 What does she need the money for anyway? 356 00:18:01,942 --> 00:18:03,325 She finally got that bill 357 00:18:03,393 --> 00:18:05,728 for that blonde they pumped into her hair? 358 00:18:05,796 --> 00:18:07,897 Don't worry. Your dad probably won't give her the money anyway. 359 00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:10,016 Oh, he will, the way she kisses his butt. 360 00:18:10,084 --> 00:18:12,418 "Oh, Arthur, you look so cute in that hat." 361 00:18:12,486 --> 00:18:14,887 You saw him. He looked like a 90-year-old gilligan. 362 00:18:18,925 --> 00:18:24,113 By the way, so does the real gilligan. 363 00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:24,981 All right, you know what? 364 00:18:25,048 --> 00:18:26,399 Just break the frickin' thing. 365 00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:27,900 We've gotta get that money. All right, now, 366 00:18:27,967 --> 00:18:30,969 I'm gonna get the money, and you keep holly busy, ok? 367 00:18:31,037 --> 00:18:32,104 All right, come on. Hurry up! Hurry up! 368 00:18:32,172 --> 00:18:34,006 All right. 369 00:18:34,074 --> 00:18:38,411 Uh-huh. Ok, well, I'll just try to figure something out 370 00:18:38,479 --> 00:18:39,979 and I'll get back to you. 371 00:18:40,047 --> 00:18:42,648 Thanks. 372 00:18:42,716 --> 00:18:44,683 Hey, what you got there... 373 00:18:44,751 --> 00:18:46,019 Sweater? 374 00:18:48,389 --> 00:18:50,123 Sweaters are great, 375 00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:53,526 but, ironically, they don't handle sweat that well. 376 00:18:58,899 --> 00:19:00,783 They're very warm, though. 377 00:19:03,019 --> 00:19:04,820 What's wrong? 378 00:19:04,888 --> 00:19:07,723 My new dog shatzi needs an operation, 379 00:19:07,791 --> 00:19:10,125 and I can't afford it. 380 00:19:10,193 --> 00:19:13,228 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 381 00:19:13,296 --> 00:19:15,631 Turns out, all the stress from working on the bomb squad 382 00:19:15,699 --> 00:19:16,966 weakened his heart, 383 00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:18,968 and now there's some kind of valve ripping, 384 00:19:19,035 --> 00:19:20,703 and if he doesn't get the operation, 385 00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,337 he's gonna be in so much pain, 386 00:19:22,405 --> 00:19:23,873 they're gonna put him down. 387 00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:28,310 Well, he had a good run. He... 388 00:19:28,512 --> 00:19:30,045 Had a full life. 389 00:19:30,113 --> 00:19:32,881 He's 4. 390 00:19:32,949 --> 00:19:36,018 Yeah, but that's 28 in human years. 391 00:19:36,085 --> 00:19:38,020 That's when I started fallin' apart. 392 00:19:39,473 --> 00:19:42,157 And the sad thing is, he doesn't even know it. 393 00:19:42,225 --> 00:19:45,561 You know, he's just this sweet lovable guy 394 00:19:45,629 --> 00:19:48,431 who just wants to kiss you and be with you. 395 00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:54,470 I mean, he spent his entire life saving people. 396 00:19:54,538 --> 00:19:57,105 And now there's no one there to save him. 397 00:19:59,443 --> 00:20:01,577 We gotta give the money to holly. 398 00:20:01,645 --> 00:20:03,629 What?! Why?! 399 00:20:03,696 --> 00:20:07,700 Because if we don't, we're gonna spend eternity swimming in a lake of fire. 400 00:20:11,454 --> 00:20:12,939 Both of us? 401 00:20:13,006 --> 00:20:14,873 Give me this. 402 00:20:31,608 --> 00:20:32,875 Hey... dad? 403 00:20:32,943 --> 00:20:34,409 What's up? 404 00:20:34,477 --> 00:20:35,711 Guess what. 405 00:20:35,779 --> 00:20:37,947 I won at bingo again. 406 00:20:38,014 --> 00:20:39,798 Really? How much? 407 00:20:39,866 --> 00:20:41,383 11 bucks. 408 00:20:41,451 --> 00:20:43,719 Family meeting. Chop chop. 29394

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