Original subtitles

(catchy theme music)

(soft violin music)

Hey!

It's my turn now!

No way, my bow, my turn.

Oh yeah?

Well if my dad were here, he'd...

If your father were here,

he'd tell you that fighting between friends

leads to nothing but trouble.

(ominous instrumental music)

(uplifting instrumental music)

Get a move on, boys!

It's time to hoist anchor and get underway!

Let me help!

What about me?

(loud crash)

Oh no, my grapes!

Dionysus is going to be furious at you!

Out of the way, Zephyr.

It's too heavy for you!

No way, I can handle it!

(groaning)

Ouch, that hurts!

Perfect!

Those idiots have risen to the bait, just as I'd planned.

(cackling)

(groaning)

Stop squirming like a fish,

or I'll throw you overboard!

Well, considering that this casket

was stuck to my anchor, it belongs to me!

And what if it's full of scrolls and parchments?

Don't tell me you're gonna take up reading.

Hey, calm down kids.

We haven't even seen if what's inside

is worth fighting over.

Typical, nothing but a bunch of worthless trinkets.

The box must've belonged to some shipwrecked sailor.

I think you're right.

Listen to this...

"If my raft stays afloat, I'll reach the two bald skulls.

There, I will uncover the secret paths of the sea."

This could be a clue to get us back to Ithaca!

Now if we could just decipher the riddle

of those two bald skulls...

He was probably talking about two bald merchants

who sell information to gullible sailors.

Or a two headed oracle,

like when Athena comes out of Zeus's head

to communicate with us mortals.

Or...

The answer could be right in front of our eyes!

Two bald skulls...

Amazing, and this statue of Zeus is absolute proof

that the Gods are smiling on us!

There's no stopping us,

this time we really are homeward bound!

Hey, hands off my statue you greedy grabber!

Forget the statue, men.

It's time to scale our bald headed friends!

How wonderful...

Here comes some new models for my sculpture.

Just when I was running out of inspiration.

Not so fast, sister.

I need new toys to play with as well.

Why don't we toss for them?

Hera, they're mine, Hermes, they're yours.

Hello my gruesome gorgons.

I have a proposition for you.

The chief bane of my existence, Ulysses, is on that ship.

Whichever of you can capture and bring him to me

will be rewarded with the gift

only the Gods can grant.

Eternal life.

Sorry Medusa, but I'm going to win hands down.

Nice try Stheno, but I always win.

That's right, girls.

Competition is the spice of life!

Just let me know when you've caught that scheming Ulysses!

(adventurous instrumental music)

- [Man In Hat] Give that statue back you selfish sailor!

Concentrate, Titan.

Reading is easy.

Now that's an S, as in snake.

And that's an H, as in hair.

Uh, snake, hair...

Can't...

Hey, take it easy Tites!

(strange instrumental music)

What's up, Nisa?

You look like you've seen a ghost.

I think something incredibly gross is gonna happen.

Something to do with Dates and Philo.

Well if they ever catch each other,

I can guarantee it won't be pretty.

No, I'm serious!

Let's talk about it later,

after we find out which of our two bald heads

can point our way to Ithaca.

So remember...

Whoever uncovers the route to Ithaca first

gets treated to a whale sized meal

by the rest of us.

Then let's get cooking!

Because my divine friend and I

are gonna find our way home

in two shakes of a fish's tail.

Don't count on it, Philo.

We'll have that map under our belts

before you've even reached shore.

Isn't that right, Titan?

(water splashing)

(chuckling)

Come to me, my lovelies.

(strange instrumental music)

What a weird place.

Woo-hoo, anybody there?

Welcome, strangers!

Don't do that!

My ticker's got a few miles on the clock, you know!

Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you.

I am Medusa, the mistress of the house.

I'm also a bit of a sculptress in my spare time.

I hope you're a whiz at geography too, cause we're lost!

Then you've come to the right address, follow me.

I don't know what it is,

but there's something spooky about her.

Really?

Personally I find her quite hospitable.

(ominous instrumental music)

Stheno, huh?

Are you sure we've never met?

If I ever had met the great Ulysses,

I definitely would remember.

Old friend or new, if you could help us

find our way home...

You'd be our best friend yet.

That's exactly what I had in mind.

I'd be delighted to show you the way back home,

but first I would so love

for the mighty conqueror of Troy to freeze...

I mean pose for me.

Well?

Of course he would.

Right, Ulysses?

Huh?

I wouldn't worry, ma'am.

Ulysses is just a bit bashful.

Classic hero behavior, you know.

Me?

Me, Ulysses?

Oh right, me Ulysses.

(owl hooting)

- [Medusa] Get that crazy bird out of here!

Stop flapping, Owl!

I can't take you anywhere.

Help me, before it wrecks the place!

And don't come back...

I'd like some time alone with Ulysses.

(calm instrumental music)

This is no picnic.

That map is harder to find than Ithaca itself.

Don't lose heart, my noble sailor.

I've got it, I remember who you are!

That's right, that's right.

(yelling)

Perhaps you did, but your memory was a bit too late.

One down, and now for Ulysses himself.

(owl hooting)

When will that bird learn to behave?

Check out these statues, Diomedes.

They're so real, you'd expect them

to start moving any minute.

You're right.

This guy looks exactly like he'd been turned to stone!

While he was still alive!

Ugh!

- [Both] Titan!

For the love of stone, Ulysses!

Can't you try to look a little more heroic?

Like this?

Okay...

Looks good.

Now don't move, look me straight in the eye.

Now that wasn't too hard, was it my dear Ulysses?

Thanks to you, I get to live forever!

(laughing)

Stheno?

Have you seen Philo?

He must be off somewhere looking for the map.

By the way, could you take a look at this armor

and tell me if it's anything you're interested in?

Hey...

That's the statue Philo and Dates were fighting over.

Philo, is that you?

Don't touch it Ulysses, it's enchanted!

Stheno's a gorgon!

She uses shiny objects to imprison people's souls!

Oh!

He's right, Ulysses.

Here, catch!

(metal clanging)

Hey, you guys find the map yet?

(cackling)

You are my victims, my toys!

And there's no way out.

Where are you, Poseidon?

I'm ready to give you a new still life version of Ulysses,

In return for my gift of eternal life.

You must have the brain of a newt!

That's Titan you've petrified, not Ulysses.

Didn't you notice the horns?

I thought it was some kind of new fashion statement!

You can keep the statement for your private collection.

But if you want eternal life,

bring me the real Ulysses.

Titan, watch out!

It's a trick!

Ah!

Now that's what I call a stony glare.

Now listen here you...

Stay back!

Tell me where Ulysses is!

(screaming)

Unless you want to be added to my collection!

Give yourself up, Ulysses...

And I'll let your friends go free.

How can we get out of here?

If we touch anything, we've had it!

Follow my lead.

You expect me to rip up my best satin tunic?

Zephyr's bandages seemed to protect him from the spell.

Maybe these will do the same.

It works!

Nice try, Ulysses.

But it'll take more than a pair of cloth wrapped hands

to save you!

Zephyr, come on!

Hey, what's the rush?

(yelling)

(suspenseful instrumental music)

Hiding is no use!

I'll get you in the end.

What will you do to Ulysses if I tell you where he is?

You should be more concerned with what I'll do to you

if you don't!

(snakes hissing)

Raise the sail Dates, we're getting out of here!

Well what about Philo?

We can't leave him behind!

I'm in here you blockhead!

Huh?

Correction, Ulysses.

Your ship is about to become your prison.

Let me correct your correction you rotten witch!

No one touches my ship without my permission!

(laughing)

Oh no, not you again!

This is where Ulysses arranged to meet us,

next to the big olive tree.

You didn't really think I'd rat on my friend.

(yelling)

(chuckling)

You didn't really think I'd fall

for such a lame trick.

Before anyone even thinks about Ithaca,

we've got to rescue the rest of our crew.

At last...

No more Madame Hiss.

Ah!

(nervous chuckling)

Back off, blockhead!

Nice try, snake eyes, but it's not going to work.

Oh no?

Take me to Ulysses or I'll turn you into a gargoyle.

Go ahead!

That way I can spend the rest of eternity

sticking my tongue out at you.

(loud gasp)

Very nice, little girl.

Perhaps I'll let you live after all.

Get up, you lazy slug.

This is no time for a nap!

Nap?

It's time to show that joker Ulysses

that I've got more than one trick up my sleeve!

That's the ticket, my girl.

Now go get him!

(intense instrumental music)

From now on our motto is "Look but don't touch"!

Let go of me you clumsy pile of rubble.

Nisa!

Stay back, it's a trap!

Hey marblebrain, let go of the girl.

I'm the one you want.

Sorry guys, but it's for a good cause!

- [Philo] Getting dizzy!

So this is the famous Ulysses.

What have you done to my friends?

I've turned them into my bodyguards.

Shall I demonstrate?

Grab them, boys!

Watch out for her eyes, whatever you do?

Why, what's wrong with them?

No!

What do you want, you cold blooded monster?

Just one peek at your beautiful eyes, sweetie.

Is that too much for a girl to ask?

Leave him alone!

I saw him first!

You had your chance, now he's mine!

Don't worry sis, I'm sure Poseidon

will give you a consolation prize.

So that's it!

And what exactly did Poseidon promise you

in return for me?

A hamper of champagne and caviar?

You think I care about fizzy grape juice

and fish eggs?

Immorality will be my prize!

Immortality, I'm flattered.

I'd better do something fast

or that will be left of Ulysses

will be a gravestone.

No Nisa, bandage your hands before you touch the shield!

Well girls, it looks like you'll have to fight for me.

May the best one win.

(intense instrumental music)

- [Stheno] Nice try, Ulysses.

But it's no use trying to turn me

against my own dear sister.

I'm glad you feel that way, sister.

And I assure you I feel exactly the same!

Then brace yourself for another dose

of sisterly love!

(snakes hissing)

Medusa, wait!

This way only Ulysses wins.

No!

Turning Stheno to stone has broken her spell!

Phew, thank goodness that's over.

Your poetry was starting to rub off on me.

Ha, one minute longer and you'd have stolen

the shirt right off my back!

That was a sneaky trick,

which you are going to regret

for the rest of your extremely short life!

Nisa, throw me the shield!

Look at me, hero.

I want to see absolute terror in your eyes

as you gaze at mine!

Right!

Huh?

The gorgon's spells are broken.

(cheering)

All the prisoners are free!

(cheerful instrumental music)

(owl hooting)

Oh, you're back!

Birds of a feather stick together,

huh my wise old friend?

Here, take your precious statue.

No way, I don't even want to see that

unlucky little lump of clay.

Well, at least the sisters got their immortality

and a beachfront location to enjoy it from.

(water splashing)

Take it you fool, it's a gift!

Why don't you toss it back to Poseidon?

Right now, he could use a lucky charm himself.

(laughing)

Mock me all you like, Ulysses...

But one of these days, I'll catch up with you

and turn your soul to seaweed!

(suspenseful theme music)