Original subtitles

(dramatic orchestral music)

Uh! What is wrong with father?

He must have forgotten us,

or he'd have gotten back ages ago!

Ulysses could never forget his family.

In fact, right this very instant,

I know he's doing everything he can to get back home.

(daunting, piano music)

- [Beggar] This is the home of the Greeches.

So old and wise, the very gods come to them for advice!

Heh! Ah!

He! Haaah!

Ohhh! What a collection!

The wisdom of the ancients at our fingertips!

(laughs) Speaking of ancient, where are those

three old ladies we've heard so much about?

Ha! Ohoho!

Waa!!! Huhuhu!!!

Ahh, ladies, we've got company!

Let me look!

Ahhh!

Eew! Gross!

(cackling)

I, Ulysses, and my crew, seek your assistance,

that we may return to Ithaca, our island home.

Lost, are they? Silly mortals!

What do they think we are, tour guides?

So what?

I say we lend them a hand.

That big one is kind of cute!

No!

In that case, lend me the eye!

You don't have a clue where to look.

Both of you are as blind as bats,

with or without that eye!

Ah!

No, give it back!

- [Greech 1] No, no! It's mine!

If the gods come to them for advice,

they're more desperate than I thought!

Hey, wait a minute!

Haha!

Who's got the paper?

- [Greech 1] I can't see a thing!

- [Greech 2] I thought you had it!

Ladies!

If you want it back, we're going to have to

start seeing things eye to eye.

Oh, dear, yes!

Of course!

Anything you say!

So, you didn't need your eye to find it, after all.

And I can see why.

There's no map here. It's a blank page.

Of course it's a blank page, you dunderhead!

It's a magic map!

You have to concentrate on your destination,

and then you'll be shown the way.

But beware!

If you follow a different route,

the correct one will disappear forever!

Now may we have our eye back?

Just a second.

Ithaca, where are you?

It's working!

I can see the way already!

Thank you, fair ladies!

Catch!

(squealing)

- [Greech 1] It's mine!

Thanks, old man!

Running into you was an excellent stroke of luck.

- [Beggar] Mhm. Mhmhmm, fare thee well! (evil laugh)

(light, playful music)

(straining)

We've got a ma-ap!

We've got a ma-ap!

A magic, magic ma-ap!

- [Dates] Watch out!

There's no doubt about it!

This time, we're going home!

No! It's mi...

Was our performance acceptable, oh mighty one?

Perfection itself, my lovelies.

Ulysses didn't suspect a thing!

And now, all that remains

is for Ulysses to follow this map to his doom.

Are those rocks on the map?

- [Ulysses] Right where they're supposed to be.

Further along than I thought!

Ooh let me see! Let me see!

(daunting music)

Ah!

I'm getting bad vibes from those rocks.

Please, let's go around, not through.

Nisa, you know we can't.

You heard the Greeches:

If we follow a different route,

the correct one will disappear.

What could be dangerous about that?

Anyway, me like danger.

Oh boy!

(owl hooting)

Where'd all this weird wind come from?

(wind howling)

(straining)

These cross-currents are impossible!

And that rock's making a face at us!

If there's one thing I hate, it's a smart-aleck rock!

Dates, steer to port.

Maybe the current is less on the other side.

(yelling)

On the other hand, at least the giant head was quiet.

Dates, steer us back again!

(monstrous sound)

In the name of the gods, Titan!

Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?

It weren't me!

Look, it's the head!

(yelling)

Zeus, preserve us!

We're gonna be swallowed whole!

We gotta get outta here.

Row for your lives!

Dates, steer for the other rock!

Oh my gods!

I just realized where we are!

It's like the old poem says.

"Beware, sailors, of Charybdis and Scylla.

"If the one doesn't get ya, the other will kill ya!"

Shut up and row!

(straining)

Row, row, row your boat, gently to your doom.

(cackling laughter)

And now, my darling Scylla, it's your turn to play!

(howling) (yelling)

Let go of me you gross monstrosity!

- [Zephyr] Hah! It's got Nisa!

(screaming)

Oh no, the map!

I've nearly got it!

(daunting music)

(hissing)

E-E-Excuse me, ma'am,

b-but what could you possible want to do

with s-simple travelers like us,

trying to find our way home?

Hmm, possibly a simple seaweed marinade

would be best, with just a pinch of salt.

You call that simple?

I say we just much 'em up raw.

(wimpering)

(owl hooting)

Thanks, Titan.

If it hadn't been for you, we'd be shrimp soup!

Where's Zephyr?

He was stuck on the ship and got (crying)

swallowed!

Get it together, big guy.

We may have lost Zephyr,

but we got to cross the channel to rescue the others.

Are you kidding?

What happens if all that water

comes rushing back out again?

We move really fast, so we're on dry land

before it sweeps us out to sea.

Looks like the remains

of another ship that didn't get away.

(yelling)

- [Ulysses] Hey, nice look, Philo! (laughs)

Time to meet your maker, old fella.

Mmm. You're a feisty little appetizer, aren't you!

We smell humans outside! We smell humans outside!

Can we go over that plan one more time?

I wanna make sure I've got everything straight.

Switch to Plan B!

Which one is Plan B?

(yelling)

Euh?!

Scylla must be protected by the magic of immortality.

I only wish the same were true for Philo.

(Philo yelling)

(panting)

Why'd she stop?

What?

(hissing)

(sad growling)

Let's keep going!

Wait.

That monster's not going anywhere.

But I wonder why.

Hey, get away, you feather dustmop.

The last thing I need are spectators.

You heard me. Get lost!

Yoohoo! Three heads!

You think you can take me? Huh?

Come on, I dare ya!

Don't push it, Titan.

Philo's still in range,

and if any of those three heads smell him, he's done for!

If I get out of this alive,

I promise I'll make a sacrifice to Apollo, Aphrodite,

Athena and Zeus, every single day

for the rest of my life!

It worked?

Thanks, guys!

I'll get started on those sacrifices first thing

tomorrow.

Hey, that's disgusting!

No, it's not. It's camouflage.

The reason Scylla didn't sniff out Philo

was because his human scent was masked

by the delightful fragrance of pond scum.

This could come in handy as well.

Seaweed perfume and a conch shell

against a three-headed monster the size of a ship!

(chuckling) This is one battle I'd hate to miss.

For the love of Aphrodite, would you hurry up,

you heavy clod!

That's more like it.

Wait a minute, how'd you do that?

(yelling)

Going somewhere, my scrumptious little snackie-poos?

Hold it!

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Those two are way past their sell-by date,

where as I am both fresh and delicious.

Hey, go easy, girls!

I'm too small for all three.

You're gonna have to choose just one.

You won't trip us up on a technicality.

You're not the first to try

the divide and conquer method, you know.

We'll draw for it fair and square.

Eenie, meanie, minie, mo.

Catch a taste treat by her toe.

[Middle Head] Not so fast, sunshine!

(bickering)

Tried and true works again!

Let's go.

- [Heads] You're just a hard-headed harpy.

Huh, you can talk, you shameless shrew!

Come on, that's our cue for the rescue!

What?

All right!

We'll just scuttle between Scylla's legs, shall we?

I'm sure she won't notice!

She will when I pummel her three ugly heads

to a pulp!

We can't do that either.

She's immortal!

No, I've got a better idea.

(screams) Are you trying to get us killed!

Talk about indiscreet!

- [Heads] Charybdis?

(laughing) She came running the last time

that big head opened its mouth,

so I thought we might be able to call her as well!

Now, let's go!

(straining)

Oh no, here we go again!

[Ulysses, Philo, Dates, Diamedes, Nisa] Hooray!

Friends!

You've saved us!

Wo, seaweed city!

You guys stink!

Enough with the compliments.

Time to go before we end up as monster meal,

two persons per head!

What do you mean, two per head?

There are three heads and seven of us.

Hang on, where's Zephyr? (Titan sobbing)

(crying) Poor Zephyr!

(wailing)

(owl hooting)

She's coming back!

Hey, this way!

(daunting music)

I knew we shouldn't dawdle, but would anyone listen?

No!

She's right behind us!

And where are we running, might I ask?

Straight to her dining chamber!

Actually, it looks as if we're on our way to Charybdis.

I'll bet Scylla dug this tunnel herself!

It's got her claw marks all over it.

So will we if we're not careful!

(screaming)

And what are we supposed to do now?

Somebody say something!

Spread out and follow my lead.

I told you I didn't taste good!

Come with me, sweetie!

(growling)

Can't catch me!

Hey!

Help!

(Philos yelling)

Huh?

(light music)

- [Circe] Charybdis, you wretched little shepherd!

Since you find Scylla's beauty

more tempting than the love of Circe,

the most powerful witch in the world,

I'll make sure you can contemplate that beauty

for eternity! (cruel laughter)

I've just seen...

I think Scylla was...

No time for talk.

Follow me.

What is taking her so long?

Don't tell me she can't get her three jaws

around a few measly mortals!

Scylla! The god of the seas is waiting!

(straining)

(daunting music)

Hurry up, or we'll be crushed!

Oh no! It's a dead end!

(screaming)

(groaning)

Way to go, Titan!

Actually, it's no way to go

because we ain't going nowhere!

And I'm stuck in here with the stinko seaweed brigade!

I wonder why Scylla dug this far.

Probably to try and get to Charybdis!

They're in love but a horrible witch

put a spell on them both.

And where exactly did you get that from?

(low growling)

Ssh, can you hear that?

It sounds like Charybdis is directly below us!

Scylla almost made it!

We must dig!

- [Ulysses] Titan, be careful with that!

At last!

A lovely relaxing bath.

Enjoy it while you can.

You don't know how lucky you are to have wings.

Yoo hoo!

- [Everyone] Zephyr! (cheering)

Huh! You can't rely on anyone these days.

(laughing) You're alive, you're alive, you're alive!

(Titan crying)

Oh, my sweet, darling ship!

I thought I'd lost you forever!

The water level's rising fast.

Everyone at the ready!

Prepare for high water!

(straining)

(low growling)

Oh, mighty Zeus, Master of Olympus!

I ask that you cancel Circe's ridiculous curse.

We're nearly out!

Get ready to row!

Hey, it's Scylla!

And Poseidon!

Charybdis!

Flush these rats to the center of the earth.

Ulysses, do something!

- [Ulysses] Zephyr, wrap this rope around the mast.

How dare that annoying little human defy me!

Pull!

Don't do it, Ulysses!

Oh, no.

- [Scylla] Charydbis, help!

Incredible!

Charybdis would never drown his beloved!

And you knew that!

Ulysses, you're a genius!

Excuse me, Charybdis,

but do I have to remind you that I,

the god of the seas, just ordered you

to flush these disgusting creatures

to the center of the earth?

I can't believe it.

That great stone face defied me, Poseidon,

for the love of a three-headed monster!

The world is going to the dogs,

but mark my words, Ulysses,

the last bowwow will be mine.

(dreamy music)

I'll bet the only reason Charybdis and Scylla

were so angry is because they weren't

allowed to be together,

but now they are.

Are you upset we lost the map?

Nah!

There's no telling how many other traps

it might have led us into, down the road.

Besides, I know that one day

my own true love and I will be together again,

just like our two enchanted friends.

(dramatic orchestral music)