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1
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:04,805
- wa-cha!
Hiyah!
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,574
Male announcer:
And now
3
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:10,211
Dreamworks' kung fu panda:
Legends of awesomeness.
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,246
- [grunts]
[gong rings]
5
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,083
* hear the legends
Of the kung fu panda *
6
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:18,352
[scatting]
7
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,154
* raised in a noodle shop
8
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,123
* never seeking glory
Or fame *
9
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,357
* he climbed the mountaintop
10
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,259
* and earned
The dragon warrior name *
11
00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:26,727
Ooh! Ahh! Yah!
12
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,429
* kung fu panda
13
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,066
[scatting]
14
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,735
* master shifu saw
The warrior blossom *
15
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:38,206
* and master the skills
Of bodacious and awesome *
16
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,740
* kung fu panda
17
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,144
[scatting]
18
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,113
* he lives and he trains
And he fights *
19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,680
* with the furious five
20
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,082
* protect the valley,
Something, something *
21
00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:49,683
* something, something alive
22
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,185
Ooh! Ahh! Uh!
23
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,355
* kung fu panda
24
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,224
* legends of awesomeness
25
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:57,158
Sweet!
26
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,139
- [panting]
27
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,474
Oh! I'm too late!
No!
28
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,476
No! No! No! No! No!
[crowd cheering]
29
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,683
Wait!
30
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,821
Wait!
- gah!
31
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,394
- master yao!
[chuckles]
32
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,596
Oh!
Oh, thank goodness.
33
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,232
You almost left before I had
A chance to say good-bye.
34
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,272
Good-bye.
35
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,740
- bye, fuzzy!
Stay out of trouble!
36
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,810
- master yao, are you absolutely
Certain that I can't--
37
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,580
- yes, shifu.
I have made up my mind.
38
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:56,184
Po alone will accompany me
To meet with the other master.
39
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,821
- [sighs]
Yes, master yao.
40
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:03,857
- oh, don't sulk, fuzzy.
We're still buddies!
41
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,827
Hoof bump!
42
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:10,264
- besties.
- I said buddies, not besties.
43
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,200
- yes, master yao.
44
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,435
At least stay in your box
For the entire journey.
45
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,937
You have the greatest
Kung fu mind in history,
46
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,207
Holding the most powerful
Secrets of the shaolin.
47
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,209
We can't risk losing them.
48
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,211
- you are right,
Of course, shifu,
49
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:26,480
Though I assure you no ill
Shall befall me.
50
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,882
- ow!
51
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,785
[sighs]
Bye, besty.
52
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,289
- buddy!
53
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,362
- master yao, I'm super stoked
About this trip.
54
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,897
I mean, hanging with the guy
Who knows everything?
55
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,466
Awesome!
56
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,236
- and I am super stoked
To hang with you as well.
57
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,703
Just look at me.
58
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:52,906
I can't stop smiling!
59
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,343
- yeah.
- whoo!
60
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,645
I can't wait to meet
With the other master.
61
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:01,315
I'm going to share with him
The five most powerful,
62
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:04,585
Most astonishing,
Most mind-boggling
63
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,687
Mystic kung fu secrets ever!
64
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,556
[laughs]
Love it!
65
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,924
- what kind of stuff do you
Think he'll share with you?
66
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,294
- I'm hoping for a good
Rice pudding recipe.
67
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,329
- [chuckles]
I like you, master yao.
68
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,765
You're super smart
And super weird.
69
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,667
- that's me, baby!
70
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,371
So, po, since we have
Some time...
71
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:25,373
Are there any
Of life's mysteries
72
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,275
That you've always wanted
The answer to?
73
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:30,378
- yeah.
Who sews mantis' clothes?
74
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,281
I mean, you'd need a teeny,
Tiny little needle, and--
75
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,716
- I was thinking more
Big picture.
76
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,886
- okay, I got one.
77
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,522
What is the purpose of life?
78
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,292
- to strive toward
A worthwhile goal.
79
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:47,295
- aha! I knew it was something
With striving.
80
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,430
- what goal are you
Striving for, po?
81
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,598
- oh!
[chuckles]
82
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:54,368
I, uh...
Huh.
83
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,804
Wow.
I don't know.
84
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,339
This is terrible.
85
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,642
I should know my life's purpose,
Shouldn't I?
86
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,944
Master yao?
87
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,713
Master yao!
- whoo!
88
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,316
I don't know what's happening,
But I love it!
89
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,384
- [panting]
90
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,386
[grunts]
91
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,054
Ah!
92
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,923
Watch out!
Get out of the way!
93
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:19,327
Kung fu master coming through!
94
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,395
- still no!
95
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,996
[whimpering]
Huh?
96
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:26,066
[grunts]
97
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,468
Aah!
98
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,804
[strained grunts]
99
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,341
[sighs]
100
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:37,445
[thuds echoing]
101
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,347
[crash]
Ow!
102
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,849
[groans]
103
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,751
- perhaps you and I
Can discover
104
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,454
Your life's purpose
Together, po.
105
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,456
- really?
That'd be awesome.
106
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:54,462
- behold!
107
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,398
- yeah, I got some stuff
To do.
108
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,636
So close.
109
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,405
- behold!
110
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:08,509
I have perfected
The bronze lotus.
111
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,444
What does it do, you ask?
- no.
112
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,680
- it can steal knowledge
Right out of your head.
113
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,648
And only I know
How to operate it.
114
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,384
Pretty cool, huh?
115
00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:17,985
- I think we've established
Me not caring.
116
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,753
[scoffs]
117
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:37,004
[electricity crackles]
- [screams]
118
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,939
Ugh!
119
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,680
There.
Eat the cookie.
120
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,550
- what kind of--
- eat the cookie!
121
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,785
- [sighs]
122
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:56,757
Ahh!
123
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,560
Whoa.
I...
124
00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,529
I totally know how to operate
That machine.
125
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,930
- and I don't.
126
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,466
You see, it sucked the knowledge
Of how the controls work
127
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:08,702
From my head and turned it
Into a cookie.
128
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:12,540
You ate the cookie and now
You have that knowledge.
129
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,476
- not lame.
- I know, right?
130
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,578
- we can make a fortune
With this thing!
131
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,580
- you think?
- hello!
132
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,582
The parade?
Master yao?
133
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,083
The five great mystic secrets?
134
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,618
There were posters everywhere.
135
00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,554
- I don't get out much.
136
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,689
- we'll steal his secrets
And auction them off
137
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,891
To your lame
Super-villain friends.
138
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:34,094
- I'd prefer to think of them
As colleagues in evil.
139
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,796
- fine, let's just fire up
Your latest
140
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,966
Lame battle machine
And get going.
141
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,469
- it's nice that you're
Finally taking an interest
142
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,471
In my work, son.
143
00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,506
- whatever.
144
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,476
- * 46 pots of tea
On the wall *
145
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,077
* 46 pots of tea
146
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,881
- po, remember when I asked you
What your goal in life is?
147
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,917
- um, still thinking on that...
A lot.
148
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,487
- I may be able
To suggest one to you.
149
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,889
You see, there's a reason
I asked for you alone
150
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,591
To accompany me.
151
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,594
- shifu finally
Creeping you out?
152
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,597
- I wanted to ask
If you'd consider being...
153
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,599
My successor.
154
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:12,500
- ah!
155
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,134
What?
156
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,936
- I can't live forever.
157
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,771
Someone will have
To learn my secrets
158
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,741
And remember them
For future generations.
159
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,511
- you really think
That I could do that?
160
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:24,678
- of course!
[chuckles]
161
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:26,747
And since your head
Isn't cluttered
162
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,750
With lots of thought, you've got
Plenty of room in there.
163
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,185
[gasps]
So much room!
164
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:36,524
- wow, this is just...
Wow.
165
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,559
- you would know
All the great secrets,
166
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:43,531
But you would have
To meditate on them in solitude.
167
00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:46,534
- so I'd know them all, but
I wouldn't be able to use them?
168
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,035
- precisely.
169
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,670
I know it's a big decision.
170
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:53,240
- yeah, it is.
171
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,812
Maybe you should get back in
Your box while I think it over.
172
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,280
Remember what shifu said.
173
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,682
- trust me, po.
174
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,284
Nothing terrible
Is going to happen,
175
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,687
Except maybe
That angry warthog
176
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,223
That's about to arrive
In a giant metal octopus.
177
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:14,695
- ah!
178
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:17,565
- [laughs]
179
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,640
- aah!
180
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:30,711
- [laughs]
181
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:35,082
- [grunts]
182
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,586
[groans]
183
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,588
- ooh! A fight!
I love it!
184
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,633
- whoa!
- [screams]
185
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,602
- you missed him!
- I missed him?
186
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,336
Do you even know how to drive
This thing?
187
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,739
- I'm trying,
But the panda won't let me.
188
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:02,710
- sure, blame him
For your lameness.
189
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:03,877
- hmm-hmm.
- [grunts]
190
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,780
- whoa!
- [humming]
191
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:09,683
- ah!
- hold it steady.
192
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,285
- one man's steady
Is another man's freaking out.
193
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,621
- I'm trying.
194
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,756
- there is no try,
There is only--
195
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,958
Both: can it!
196
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,627
[electricity crackles]
- whoo! [laughs]
197
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,632
- one, two, three, four--
I got all five.
198
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,033
Let's go!
- [grunts]
199
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,668
Just a minute.
200
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,069
- oh! Whoa!
201
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,871
Oomph!
202
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,373
[taotie laughs]
203
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,643
Bian zao: ugh, what are you even
Laughing at anyway?
204
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,145
[branch cracking]
- huh?
205
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:41,114
Whoa! Ow!
206
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,382
- hmm.
207
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,918
- you know such amazing secret
Kung fu stuff.
208
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,754
Why didn't you do anything?
209
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:50,658
- I was trying to decide
If this pebble is interesting.
210
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,760
- well?
- meh.
211
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,729
- then could, you know,
You stop them?
212
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:59,132
Use that, uh, brainy-thinky
"Spleen punch" thing, maybe?
213
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,303
- oh, all right.
214
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:10,010
Hmm.
215
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,345
I-I-I can't remember it!
216
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,347
The yangtze spleen punch!
217
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:17,084
I-I can't remember the secret
Up here.
218
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,687
[gasps]
The five mystic secrets!
219
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,921
I've forgotten them all!
220
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,723
I don't love it!
221
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,324
- whoa...Settle down.
222
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,961
- for 65 years,
My whole reason for existing
223
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:31,732
Has been to sit and ponder
The world's greatest secrets!
224
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,102
And now I've forgotten
The five most powerful ones!
225
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,005
Do you realize what this means?
226
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:41,141
[gasps]
I have no purpose!
227
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:46,379
[sobs]
228
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:50,017
- wait, bian zao said,
"I got all five."
229
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:53,053
[gasps]
They stole your secrets!
230
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,355
- we gotta figure out how
We're gonna price these babies.
231
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:59,326
Okay, the five great
Mystic secrets are...
232
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,461
The iron heart,
233
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:05,265
Which multiplies your strength
A thousandfold.
234
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,137
The clap of stillness
Will freeze
235
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,841
Every nearby object in place.
236
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:17,845
Jin tian's tempest enables you
To shoot lightning bolts.
237
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,748
The yangtze spleen punch...
238
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,416
Let's you knock out anyone
Within a hundred-yard radius
239
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,385
With your mind.
240
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:29,056
And the wings of light gives you
The ability to fly.
241
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,262
These secrets are incredible!
242
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:38,031
Once we auction them off, you
Know how rich we're gonna be?
243
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,800
- uh, filthy?
244
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:43,837
- most definitely.
245
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:46,907
- stop right there!
246
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,041
- now?
247
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,877
But we were
Actually connecting.
248
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,344
- uh, sorry?
249
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,881
- eh, forget it.
The moment's passed.
250
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,215
[lever clicks]
251
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:58,118
- ah!
252
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,987
[grunts]
253
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,891
Ah! Ah!
254
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:04,925
Master yao!
255
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,960
I could use some help!
256
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:09,797
- [sighs]
Why bother?
257
00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,832
- whoo! Ah!
258
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,902
Ah!
259
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,804
Maybe you forgot
A few secrets,
260
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,471
But you're still
A kung fu master!
261
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,809
Now come on!
262
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,951
- no.
Too depressed.
263
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,120
- but, master--ah!
264
00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:36,824
[grunting]
265
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:38,826
Watch out!
266
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,328
[both shouting]
- ow!
267
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,897
- [grunts]
268
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:49,102
- you saved me.
Neat.
269
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:52,239
- don't get so excited about--
Aah!
270
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,943
Hey! You almost crushed
My lucky head.
271
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,945
It's on.
272
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:07,020
[slow motion yell]
273
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,891
- no! Ooh!
274
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,360
[screaming]
275
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,865
[both grunt]
276
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,002
[gulps]
277
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,207
- all right, taotie--
278
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,043
[screams]
279
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,112
Aah!
He's all strong.
280
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,882
The secrets
Are in the cookies!
281
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,917
- [chomping, gulps]
282
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:39,519
I accidentally ate the mystic
Secret of the iron heart.
283
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:40,921
Blegh!
284
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,223
It tasted all...Kung fu-ey.
285
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,926
- that was awesome.
286
00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,294
- no, it wasn't.
287
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,628
Haven't you been listening
To me?
288
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,897
- of course not.
289
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,464
- I've dedicated my life
290
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,901
To proving that machines
Are better than muscles.
291
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:57,237
Being this strong
Is just distasteful!
292
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,039
[grunts]
Yah!
293
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,008
[screaming]
294
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,243
Of course, I'm nothing
If not adaptable.
295
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,079
[grunts]
296
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:09,316
Let's get to that auction.
297
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,018
- hmm.
298
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,655
- [sighs]
Well, that's it.
299
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,589
We failed.
300
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,960
Nothing to do now
But plummet to our doom.
301
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:23,931
- yeah...Not so much
Into the plummeting.
302
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,433
- [sighs]
You're so closed-minded.
303
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,602
- I'm gonna get
Your secrets back, master yao,
304
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,571
So you can have
Your purposey life.
305
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,174
But first, we gotta get out
Of this mess.
306
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,575
What do you say?
307
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,345
- [sighs]
Sure. How?
308
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,579
- I don't know!
309
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,381
I was counting on you
To think of something.
310
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,516
Aah!
Kind of soon.
311
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,053
- I have an idea
That may or may not work,
312
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,055
But you probably won't like it.
313
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,622
- sort of out
Of other options here.
314
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,959
- okay.
315
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,094
Hunan butt kick.
316
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:58,465
- [screams]
317
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,100
[thud]
318
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,301
See?
You were right.
319
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,635
I didn't like it.
320
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,138
- woop-de-dingle-doo.
321
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,310
- get this mystic secret
Out of--oh!
322
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,545
[grunts]
323
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,315
Ugh.
324
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,984
- that was awesome.
325
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,485
- how well my device works?
326
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,153
- how much it hurts you.
327
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,989
Okay, we're all set
For the auction.
328
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,024
- stop right there.
- [sighs]
329
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,093
You, like, just said that.
330
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:29,997
- how could you possibly
Have found us?
331
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,598
[bamboo squeaks, snaps]
332
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,166
Oh.
333
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,602
- I would like
My secrets back now.
334
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,104
- you heard the master.
335
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,505
Now hand them over before--
336
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,108
Oh!
- hey!
337
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,611
- temutai! Hundun! Fung!
338
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,014
And, uh...
339
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,116
- [sighs]
Gah-ri.
340
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,117
- sorry.
[chuckles]
341
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,751
It's been a day.
342
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,254
- well, I'm afraid there aren't
Enough cookies for every--
343
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,255
- [grunts]
344
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,191
We get to bid
On the five great mystic secrets
345
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:02,029
And smash the dragon warrior
And master yao to furry pulps?
346
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,031
It is good to be alive!
347
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,038
- ready to fight our way out
Of this?
348
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,472
- you go ahead.
349
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:16,309
Without my secrets,
I'm useless.
350
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,345
- yah! Rah!
351
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,149
Dragon warrior!
352
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,551
I will crush you
With the smashing crush
353
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,287
Of a thousand
Painful smash-pains!
354
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,056
- "Smash-pains"?
355
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,557
You know, it's like you're
Not even trying anymore.
356
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,359
- mmm.
Rah!
357
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,261
- screaming phoenix flip!
- ugh!
358
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:40,267
- [grunts]
359
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,172
- whaaa!
360
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,509
You're pretty good for
An old goat who lives in a box.
361
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,512
- I am unworthy of the gift
Of existence.
362
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,781
- whoa! You're kind of
A bummer, guy.
363
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,086
- hiyah!
364
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,353
- [grunts]
365
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,522
- master yao!
- [grunts]
366
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:09,529
- [groans]
367
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,231
[gasps]
368
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,200
[strained grunts]
369
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:16,836
- this first cookie contains
The wings of light.
370
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,740
How much will you bid for
The ability to fly like a bird
371
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,343
But without those tedious
Hollow bones?
372
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,212
- 3 yuan.
- 5,000 yuan!
373
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,847
- 6,000 yuan!
374
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,183
- 4 yuan.
375
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,852
Or is it--wait.
How does this work again?
376
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,854
- master yao, are you okay?
377
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,556
- [sighs]
As okay as anyone
378
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,626
Who has spectacularly failed
At their life's work.
379
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,261
- you haven't failed.
380
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,262
You just need a little help.
381
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,697
- from who?
Who will help me?
382
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,699
- me.
If there's two things I know,
383
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,536
It's how to help folks
And how to get cookies.
384
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,471
- we're chained to these poles.
385
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:55,408
How can you possibly
Reach them?
386
00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,147
Hunan butt kick!
- whoa-ho!
387
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,648
- 20,000 yuan!
388
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:02,815
Both: hmm.
389
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:03,750
- [grunts]
390
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:07,154
- can I just buy, like,
A bite of cookie?
391
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,289
You know, not like, you know--
392
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,491
I don't need to fly around
Or anything like that.
393
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,493
I just wanna jump good.
394
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,728
- [gasps]
395
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,164
- aah!
396
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:20,433
[grunts]
397
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:24,171
[all grunting]
398
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,309
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
399
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,411
[strained grunts]
400
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,679
Yaah!
401
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,381
Ha!
402
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,454
- no! Po!
403
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,256
The secrets are too powerful!
404
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,591
You're not ready!
405
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,426
- ready as I'll ever be.
406
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,695
[all chomping, gulping]
407
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:58,438
[large belch]
408
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,273
- I could smell that one.
- get him!
409
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,375
- wings of light!
410
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:06,313
[all grunting]
411
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:09,716
Oh, my gosh!
This is so awesome!
412
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:15,222
- jin tian's tempest!
Aah!
413
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,823
Ah! Aah!
414
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,826
- hmm. Oh!
[screams]
415
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,361
- wow.
416
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,230
- gah!
Get out of the way, gary!
417
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,764
I'm trying to use
The spleen punch.
418
00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:28,835
- [humming, chuckles]
419
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,770
- [grunts]
420
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,675
- like the strength
Of a thousand rhinos
421
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,346
Multiplying my strength
By a thousand rhinos!
422
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,248
[grunts]
- aah!
423
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,686
- [screams]
424
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,822
[panting]
425
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,925
- [grunts]
- ugh!
426
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,762
[all groaning]
427
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,397
- did you see that?
428
00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,400
Did you totally see that?
429
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,402
These mystic secrets are--
I--
430
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,337
I don't even have a word
For it!
431
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,406
Bodaciawesome!
432
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,775
- thank you for helping me, po.
433
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,611
I think we've discovered
Your life's purpose.
434
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:15,748
To possess the mystic secrets
And succeed me, yes?
435
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,854
- no, but by helping you,
I did learn what it is.
436
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,457
My life's purpose is to help
Those that need help
437
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,959
And kick some bad guy tushie
In the process,
438
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:31,398
And I can't do that
From inside a box.
439
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,534
- you are very wise, po.
440
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,570
And in this case,
Wiser than even I am.
441
00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,906
- oh, I don't know about that.
[chuckles]
442
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,741
What do you think, bian zao?
443
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:45,378
- nowhere...Is where
I was going.
444
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,480
- I need you to use
Your machine
445
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,782
And give master yao back
His secrets.
446
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,951
- and why should I--
[grunts]
447
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:55,788
[screams]
448
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,590
Aah! I'll do it!
I'll do it!
449
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,527
[muttering incoherently]
450
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,335
- [groans]
Just gotta--whew!
451
00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:11,338
- we're here!
452
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,473
- wait.
Where's the other master?
453
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:16,343
- I'm looking at him.
454
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,581
- wait. What?
455
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,983
You set this whole thing up
Just so I could realize
456
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,652
What my goal in life is?
457
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,620
- well, let's just say yes.
458
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:29,822
Otherwise I kind of look
Like a yutz.
459
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:33,393
- fair enough.
460
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:36,429
- I am very grateful
To you, po.
461
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:39,366
Without you,
I never would have gotten
462
00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:41,368
The five great mystic--
463
00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:43,470
[gasps]
Wait!
464
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,438
I can only remember four
Of the secrets!
465
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,673
- four?
466
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,541
But I gave you five cookies,
Didn't I?
467
00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:50,943
- I don't know!
It's dark in here!
468
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,479
[electricity crackles]
469
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:56,416
- definitely...Not lame.
31232
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