All language subtitles for Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness (2011) - S03E02 - War of the Noodles (1080p WEB-DL x265 RCVR)_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,738 - wa-cha! Hi-yaah! 2 00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:05,806 Male announcer: And now 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,677 Dreamworks' kung fu panda: Legends of awesomeness. 4 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,579 - [grunts] [gong rings] 5 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:15,049 * hear the legends Of the kung fu panda * 6 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,751 [scatting] 7 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,653 * raised in a noodle shop 8 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,389 * never seeking Glory or fame * 9 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,723 * he climbed The mountaintop * 10 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,059 * and earned The dragon warrior name * 11 00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,227 Ooh! Ahh! Yah! 12 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,196 * kung fu panda 13 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,132 [scatting] 14 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,135 * master shifu Saw the warrior blossom * 15 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:37,605 * and master the skills Of bodacious and awesome * 16 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,173 * kung fu panda 17 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:42,243 [scatting] 18 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,378 * he lives and he trains And he fights * 19 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,180 * with the furious five 20 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,681 * protect the valley, Something, something * 21 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,183 * something, Something alive * 22 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,618 Ooh! Ahh! Uh! 23 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:54,155 * kung fu panda 24 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,623 * legends of awesomeness 25 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:56,790 Sweet! 26 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,731 [exotic flute music] 27 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:10,238 * 28 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:13,307 - [panting] 29 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,443 [footsteps approaching] 30 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,245 [panting] 31 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,712 - [slurps] 32 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:22,650 - [panting] Message for master shifu! 33 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:27,155 [gasping] 34 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,158 - whoa, whoa, big breaths. - [gasping] 35 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:33,327 - just a message, No need to rush. 36 00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:35,296 - what if it's An urgent message? 37 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,730 - oh, my gosh, She's totally right! 38 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,166 Is it? 39 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,333 Okay, um, breathe once For not urgent, 40 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,901 Twice for urgent. 41 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,304 - [gasps] - whew! 42 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,405 - [gasps] - urgent! 43 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,739 - [gasping] 44 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,275 - yeah, now you're Just confusing everybody. 45 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:50,178 - [panting] From master yao. 46 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,779 - yao? You mean---? 47 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,182 - the super smart, awesomely Powerful kung fu master 48 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,450 Who spends all his time In a meditation box? 49 00:01:56,484 --> 00:02:00,588 - I was gonna say "Shifu's man-crush," but yeah. 50 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,291 - master yao? Did he write my name himself? 51 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:05,326 Because that would really Be something for my scrapbook-- 52 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:08,596 I mean, personal archives. [gasps] 53 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,199 - what is it? 54 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,435 - he's--he's coming back, here. To the jade palace. 55 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,703 - who? - yao. 56 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,305 - no! - yes. 57 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,439 - yao? - yao. 58 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,540 - when? - today. 59 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,708 - no! - yes. 60 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,276 - no! - [flatly] Yes. 61 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,811 - no! 62 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,214 - what is wrong with you? 63 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,249 [door creaking] 64 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:37,791 But this is so sudden! We haven't had time to prepare! 65 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,362 - master yao requires only A small receiving area 66 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:45,633 For tomorrow's Wonder and wisdom exchange. 67 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,236 - master yao has graciously Offered to share the knowledge 68 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,704 His years of meditation Have given him. 69 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,574 - tomorrow, From sunrise to sunset, 70 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:57,345 Anyone who brings the master A new wonder to experience-- 71 00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:00,381 Some unique sight, Sound, smell, or taste-- 72 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,351 Will be permitted To ask a single question 73 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,253 Of his vast wisdom. 74 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:08,422 - wait. So we bring master yao Something smelly or whatever, 75 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,991 And we can Ask him anything? 76 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,260 - yes. - yao? 77 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,494 - yes. - no! 78 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,829 - stop that! - who? 79 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,266 - this is awesome! 80 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,534 I've got, like, A billion questions to ask! 81 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:24,004 Where do I even start? See? That's another one! 82 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,308 - forget it, po, this event Is going to be a madhouse. 83 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,777 - c'mon, all your Burning questions answered? 84 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,379 How great is that? 85 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:35,549 - I don't have Burning questions. 86 00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,518 Master shifu, I really don't think-- 87 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,387 - "Master yao, what do you Look for in a bestie?" 88 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,888 No, too aggressive. 89 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,757 "In a kung fu companion?" Better. 90 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,526 - this is gonna be great! - I know. 91 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,462 - mm-hmm. 92 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:54,402 [clanging] 93 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:58,706 - dad! I'm trying to sleep! Can't you fail quieter? 94 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,709 - that's the sound Of impending vengeance, son. 95 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,912 Behold, the sphere Of unerringly acc-- 96 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:08,982 - [groans] 97 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,651 - are you done with--? 98 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:14,922 - [long groan] 99 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:22,596 [groan continues] 100 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,466 - so it's my turn To talk agai-- 101 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,334 - [groans] 102 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,735 - the sphere of-- - [sharp groan] 103 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,504 - can I at least Finish the name? 104 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,606 - I know what it is, dad. 105 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,375 You've been messing With the same 106 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,610 Lame ultimate weapon For years. 107 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,945 It never works. 108 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,613 - one tweak away, my boy. 109 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,350 One tweak from Mechanized perfection. 110 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,485 One tweak from The furious five's 111 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,921 Total humiliation and ruin! 112 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:51,392 [rumbling] 113 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,426 Unh! 114 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,362 I just don't know Which tweak. 115 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,796 Ow! Ow! Ow! 116 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,498 Ow! 117 00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,033 - and master yao will really Answer any question? 118 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,102 - well, that's what The poster says. 119 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,104 I mean, if you can't believe In posters any more, 120 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,674 What can you believe in? 121 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,514 - "Wonder and wisdom exchange," Huh? 122 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:18,486 This could be quite opportune. Quite opportune, indeed. 123 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,621 Opportune, do you hear? 124 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:24,558 [evil laughter] 125 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,972 - we are ready to begin The wonder and wisdom exchange, 126 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:42,543 Master yao. 127 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,012 - whoo-hoo! I feel tingly With anticipation! 128 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,414 How wonderful! 129 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,850 Has anyone come Seeking answers yet? 130 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,421 [indistinct chatter] 131 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:58,559 - [grunting excitedly] 132 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,562 - master yao-- - hey! No cutsies! 133 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:04,665 - ah! Of course. Master tigress. 134 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,434 - I don't have a question, I just-- 135 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,436 Master, Please reconsider this. 136 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,438 There's too big a crowd. It's not safe. 137 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,572 I'm just scared that-- 138 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,073 - oh, I don't think Asking questions 139 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,476 Is anything To be afraid of. 140 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,544 Do you? 141 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,512 - what? No. I just--- 142 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:19,680 - unh! - [groans] 143 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,848 - master yao, Awesome to see you again. 144 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:21,915 Huge fan of... 145 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,717 Meditation and... 146 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,519 Knowing stuff. 147 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:30,524 - splendid! Have you brought A new wonder to share with me? 148 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,693 - sniff a whiff, my friend. 149 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,763 Freshly. Grated. Ginger. Boom. 150 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:36,930 - [sniffs loudly] 151 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:40,100 Delightful! Very good. Now your question? 152 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,036 - okay. So, say an ice demon Marries a fire demon 153 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,572 And they have a baby. 154 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,874 Would it be, like, Just an ordinary water demon 155 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,910 Or some kind of Steam demon? 156 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:54,047 - [sighs] 157 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,517 - did you want us to save you A spot in line, tigress? 158 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,587 - I told you, I don't have A question for master yao. 159 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,789 Besides, somebody has to keep An eye out for threats. 160 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,591 - an all-knowing master Can hardly be 161 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,225 Taken by surprise, Tigress. 162 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,359 What's really troubling you? 163 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:09,597 - [giggling] Excuse me. Lot of questions. Make a hole. 164 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:13,100 - nothing. I'm just doing our job. 165 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,169 - come, come, who is next? 166 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,639 - I bring you steamed apples With honey. 167 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:22,776 - I collect pieces of bamboo That look like famous people. 168 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,512 This one is mantis. 169 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,345 - hey! 170 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:29,116 - the sound of one hand Clapping, huh? 171 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,552 - uh, do butterflies remember 172 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,621 What it was like To be a caterpillar? 173 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,689 - will I ever know love? 174 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:38,626 - does this look infected? 175 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,529 - [whimpers] 176 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,996 - behold, the wonder of-- 177 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,933 - a villainous inventor In a cheap novelty disguise! 178 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:46,934 I love it! 179 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:51,138 Very good. Now, your question. 180 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,140 - I was going To show you...My... 181 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,643 [nervous laugh] Yeah, okay, okay. Great. 182 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,646 So I have this sphere Of unerringly accurate-- 183 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,714 - I am aware Of your ultimate weapon. 184 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:04,585 You wish to know Why it is not yet working? 185 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:07,187 - oh, no, no. I-I can handle it myself. 186 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:11,191 I just, um-- It's the rod calibration, right? 187 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,192 - no. 188 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,627 - [smacks forehead] 189 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:14,995 - thank you for participating 190 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,565 In the wonder And wisdom exchange! 191 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,299 Have a wonderful day! 192 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,571 - what? No! One more guess! The pressure regulator? 193 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,073 The poke-jab matrix? - [groans] 194 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,909 Can't you just tell him so he Stops embarrassing all of us? 195 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,878 - rules, young bian zao. 196 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,713 If you would Have an answer, 197 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,649 You must present A new wonder. 198 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:39,219 - behold, The stench of failure. 199 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,089 - [sniffs loudly] Pungent! Very good. 200 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,591 [clears throat] 201 00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,593 You must correct For the sphere's oblong rotation 202 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,895 By adjusting the fifth, Sixth, and ninth rods 203 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,698 From the base Until they reach a concavity 204 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:54,334 Similar to the offset Created by your control seat. 205 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,070 - of course! I mean, I would've Gotten there eventually. 206 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,707 Totally headed In that direction. 207 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:03,744 You've humiliated me For the last time, furious five! 208 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:07,781 Today, taotie proves that Technology is the true master, 209 00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,050 And kung fu is stup-- 210 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,619 - hi-yaah! - unh! 211 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:15,355 - hunh! - ow! Oh! Aah! 212 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,925 - bees. Seriously, what's their deal? 213 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,627 - whoa! 214 00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:20,628 - aah! 215 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:23,263 - I brought the master A curved piece of wood. 216 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,297 - cool. 217 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,699 - aah! Whoa! 218 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,300 Unh! 219 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,736 Aah! 220 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,705 [fading shout] 221 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,941 - what did you do? 222 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,709 - tigress! What's happened? 223 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:40,347 - I don't know, Why don't you ask master yao? 224 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,752 - okay, but it'll have to be Somebody else's question, 225 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,655 'cause I already Have got a bee thing. 226 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,127 - whatever. I guess I'll just walk back 227 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,129 From the jade palace. 228 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,231 - and just in time For the test run! 229 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,701 Lucky you! 230 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:04,772 - [groans] Why am I even sarcastic? 231 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,139 [creaking] 232 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,175 [whirring] 233 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,610 [hissing] 234 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,683 - ha! The old fool was right! 235 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:20,187 - then how is he a fool? Do you even listen to yourself? 236 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,290 - prepare for your Ultimate ruin, furious five! 237 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,325 For today, you face... 238 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:29,362 The sphere of unerringly Accurate acupressure! 239 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,364 [laughs] 240 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:34,301 [creaking] 241 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:38,371 [evil laughter] 242 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,116 - again, po? 243 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,284 I've only asked seventeen Of my questions! 244 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,820 Haven't even touched The subsection 245 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,688 On action figure Maintenance. 246 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:55,823 - you'd better hurry. 247 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,825 It's starting To get ugly up there. 248 00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,127 - did those two just show Master yao a peony blossom? 249 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:00,994 - that's completely unfair! 250 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,295 - that was going to be My wonder! 251 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:06,734 [overlapping argument] 252 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,369 - I got it! 253 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,772 Master yao, have you Ever been hit in the face 254 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:12,973 With a war hammer? 255 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,007 - ooh! 256 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,408 [everyone talking at once] 257 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,879 - okay, we're done here. 258 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,248 [hollow thud] 259 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,752 Hah! - how thrilling! 260 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,319 [crowd yelling] 261 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,988 Woo-hoo-hoo! 262 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,157 - master yao? Is it sundown already? 263 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,759 Unh! 264 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,328 - [laughs] This rescue is marvelous! 265 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,831 Woo-hoo-hoo! 266 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,400 - [panting] Whoa! 267 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,770 - I'm afraid You're going nowhere! 268 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,905 [panicked screams] 269 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,240 Except on a very Short journey 270 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:50,210 To the land Of defeat and shame! 271 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,412 - we're getting neighbors? 272 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:55,816 - we are rolling To the valley of victory, 273 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:59,386 On board the sphere of Unerringly accurate acupressure! 274 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,391 - you made A riding massage ball? 275 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,093 - it's not a massage ball! 276 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,796 It's a weapon Of unspeakable terror! 277 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,463 - hey, send some Unspeakable terror 278 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,132 To my lower lumbar region. 279 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,801 I got a knot Like nobody's-- 280 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:14,968 Aah! Huh? 281 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,937 Unh! 282 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:17,938 What? Ow! 283 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,072 [repeated slapping] 284 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,441 Ow! Stop--ow! Hitting--ow!--me! 285 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,276 Aah! 286 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,277 - ooh! 287 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:25,278 - [gasps] 288 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,279 - [grunts] 289 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,816 - [grunting] 290 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,852 [all grunting] 291 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,087 - [laughs] 292 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,455 - enough! 293 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,958 - whoa! 294 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,460 - hi-yaah! 295 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,396 - I've spent years making Detailed pressure point charts 296 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,232 On each one of you! 297 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,968 With one strike From my unerringly accurate 298 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,237 Acupressure rods, I can force mantis 299 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,840 To spin like A child's toy! 300 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:56,176 - whoooaa! 301 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,980 - pretzel-ize viper. - unh! 302 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:03,583 - dance the monkey. - di, di, doo! 303 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,353 - bladder control! 304 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:10,090 In short, I've found the perfect Weapon to defeat you. 305 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,026 You! 306 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,130 - [laughs] 307 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:22,269 I have never hidden out From an angry mob before! 308 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,939 What a wondrous new experience You have given me! 309 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:29,309 Very good. Now, your question? 310 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:32,312 - what? I didn't come to you For a question. 311 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,548 - yes. Master shifu, The dragon warrior, 312 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:39,286 And the rest of the furious five All took me up on my offer, 313 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,221 Yet you did not. 314 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,156 Why is this, I wonder? 315 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:47,160 - I keep telling everyone, I don't have any questions. 316 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:52,165 - of course you do. "Is master shifu proud of me?" 317 00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:56,236 "Am I performing the dipping Phoenix twist kick correctly?" 318 00:13:56,269 --> 00:14:01,208 "Why am I so angry So often?" 319 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,912 Aah! I have surprised you. 320 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,580 Then perhaps you Will answer me a question. 321 00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:11,518 Why do you refuse to ask What you wish to know? 322 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,987 - I...I... 323 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:14,988 - [shrieks] 324 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,523 - po? 325 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:20,093 - ah! That impetuous scoundrel Taotie has taken the jade palace 326 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,229 With his mighty new weapon. 327 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,032 - you knew about this? - I know everything. 328 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,099 - stay out of sight! 329 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,500 I'll be back After I've rescued them! 330 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:31,271 - this would be most unwise, And entirely unsuccessful. 331 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,940 - what? 332 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:36,977 - there is only one way for you To defeat taotie's machine. 333 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,079 - and that would be--? 334 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,181 - I will be happy To answer that question. 335 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,952 As soon as you bring me A new wonder to experience. 336 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,955 - what? I-- [growls] 337 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:48,956 Here! 338 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,591 - I have seen rocks before. 339 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,961 - this one's...Gray? 340 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:54,962 - ooh! Good! 341 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:59,266 But, I've seen that, too. 342 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,102 - [evil laugh] 343 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,972 All: aah! Ow! Ow! 344 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,307 - [growls] - hi-yaah! 345 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,277 - unh! 346 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,546 - [quickly] Pretty dingo pony Bacon wanna ride the choo-choo! 347 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,647 - whoa. 348 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,449 There's a pressure point For that, too? 349 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,019 - the magic of unerringly Accurate acupressure, 350 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,287 My dear flabby fool! 351 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,990 I can make you do anything! 352 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,326 - and yet you still Can't make me respect you. 353 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,429 - release us, taotie. You've had your fun. 354 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:33,300 - sure. I've had fun, But who am I to be selfish? 355 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,568 No, no, no. 356 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,139 We're taking this acupressure Puppet show to town! 357 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,275 Let the entire valley See how my awesome machine 358 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:45,312 Crushes your pathetic kung fu! 359 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:48,081 [evil laugh] 360 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:52,319 I should point out you Will also be personally crushed. 361 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,125 - unh! 362 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,327 - whoa! 363 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,131 - [evil laugh] 364 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,633 - you're gonna break Your stupid puppet show. 365 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:10,537 - art is suffering, son. Their suffering. 366 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,506 - you can't really expect us To keep this up forever. 367 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:18,145 - no. Just until your bodies Give out and you die. 368 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,480 [lever cranks] 369 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,389 - ladies and gentlemen! - huh? 370 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,060 - taotie and son Entertainment... 371 00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,195 - don't include me. 372 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,464 - proudly presents... 373 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,066 These idiots! 374 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:43,503 [kung fu grunts] 375 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,174 - are you just going To let this happen? 376 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,142 - it is not for me To interfere. 377 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,744 I was shown a new wonder And answered a question. 378 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,647 Where is your wonder? 379 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,815 - ugh! 380 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,350 - aah! 381 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,186 - ooh! 382 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,089 - whoa! 383 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,327 - ma'am, I need you To find tigress or master yao 384 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,162 And tell them that we--ugh! 385 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:13,333 [loud kissing] 386 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,168 Gah! 387 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,438 - that's my wife! 388 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,108 - uh, that totally Wasn't--ow! 389 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:25,678 - this roof tile. - I have seen roof tiles. 390 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,282 - the sky. - yes, beautiful! Seen it. 391 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:33,220 - this other roof tile. - that is the same roof tile. 392 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,621 - hunh! 393 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,123 - ooh. Hard style. 394 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:40,227 Excellent for kung fu, Not so good for people. 395 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,695 - [pained grunts] 396 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,865 - this parade is confusing And disturbing. 397 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,368 - you're right, the show's Rambling a bit in the middle. 398 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,238 Let's cut straight To the points. 399 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,473 - ow! 400 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,751 - I do not like Where this is going. 401 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,719 - is there a point to this, And if so, can you make it 402 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,155 A little quicker? 403 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,789 - forgive my fascination. 404 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,592 They say that curiosity Killed the cat, 405 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:17,297 So how strange to see a cat Who's killed her curiosity. 406 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:21,268 What did poor curiosity Ever do to you? 407 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,436 - why is the sky blue? 408 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,438 - wow, that was A very stupid question. 409 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,474 [jeering laughter] 410 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,310 - how can soup Be sweet and sour? 411 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:33,646 - aw, what an adorably Stupid question. 412 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:38,651 [jeering laughter] 413 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:41,821 - [panting] 414 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,461 I... 415 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,298 [sighs] 416 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,504 - the stoic master tigress 417 00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:01,808 Displaying total And utter vulnerability. 418 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,544 A rare and precious Wonder indeed! 419 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,814 Very good. Now, your question? 420 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,454 - how do I beat Taotie's machine? 421 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:19,226 - a splendid question! First, you will need...A box. 422 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:26,866 [kung fu grunts] 423 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,579 - [chuckles] 424 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,249 - I'm sorry! My body's just naturally awesome 425 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,383 At throwing stuff! 426 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,919 Monkey, look out! - wha--? 427 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,589 - unh! Hunh! 428 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:53,360 - what? 429 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,561 - show's over. 430 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,897 - finally! I wondered what Happened to my last acu-puppet. 431 00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:01,534 - careful, tigress! His thing does...Things! 432 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,238 I'll be honest, I've been iffy 433 00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:06,939 On the science This whole time. 434 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,810 - I'll bite. What's in the box? 435 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,782 - hello, that's Master yao's box. 436 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,718 He's totally gonna come out And kung fu you so hard you'll-- 437 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,353 [creaking] 438 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:28,761 Okay, truth bomb? I was not expecting that. 439 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,866 - yes, hide in cowardice! 440 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,269 For all will learn To fear and respect 441 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,404 Taotie and his mighty-- 442 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,305 - [battle cry] 443 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,240 - [screaming] 444 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,046 What are you--? 445 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,617 [kung fu grunts] 446 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,790 - aah! 447 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,633 [laughs] 448 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:11,338 [wild laughter] 449 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,807 - hi-yaah! - [whimpers] 450 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,647 Stop that! - hunh! 451 00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,951 - [gasps] 452 00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:27,387 - [yawns] 453 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:38,365 - what? 454 00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:40,367 - hi-yaah! - ooh! 455 00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,837 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 456 00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:53,380 Stop that! I acupressure command you! 457 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,382 - hi-yaah! - ooh! 458 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:57,384 - [battle cry] 459 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,421 [shattering] 460 00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,689 - [screaming] 461 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:08,795 My sphere of unerringly Accurate acupressure! 462 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:09,996 It's ruined! 463 00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:14,033 Completely ruined! 464 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,068 Except the one that wrecks Your bladder control. 465 00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:17,537 Unh! 466 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:21,508 [water trickling] And there it goes again. 467 00:22:24,611 --> 00:22:26,579 - well done, tigress! 468 00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:30,049 - that was the most awesome-- What was that, box-fu? 469 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,519 Kung-tainer? 470 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:37,757 Anyway, whatever, you can Come out of your box now. 471 00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:40,427 - yeah. I know I can. 472 00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:43,095 - abject humiliation! Ha! I love it! 473 00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:44,163 [water trickling] 474 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,433 - great! Then can you tell me How to stop this? 475 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:51,538 - certainly I can! You must-- Oh, alas, it is sundown. 476 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,773 Our wonder and wisdom Exchange is over. 477 00:22:53,806 --> 00:22:55,908 Bye-bye! 478 00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:59,446 - do you need a best friend And can it be me? 479 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:02,449 - hey, never hurts to ask. 32793

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