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1
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,922
- Hey.
- ALL: Hey!
2
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,173
So, how was Joan?
3
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:09,341
I broke up with her.
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,884
Oh, why?
5
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,887
Don't tell me, because
of the big nostril thing?
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,807
They were huge.
7
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,060
When she sneezed,
bats flew out of them.
8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,855
Come on, they were
not that huge.
9
00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,358
I'm tellin' you, she leaned back,
I could see her brain.
10
00:00:28,019 --> 00:00:30,270
How many perfectly fine
women are you going to reject
11
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,573
over the most superficial,
insignificant things?
12
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,492
Hold it, hold it. I got to side
with Chandler on this one.
13
00:00:35,544 --> 00:00:38,528
When I first moved to the city, I went
out a couple of times with this girl,
14
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,956
really hot, great kisser,
15
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,334
but she had the biggest
Adam's apple.
16
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:46,587
It drove me nuts.
17
00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:50,799
- You or me?
- I got it.
18
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:53,594
Uh, Joey, women don't
have Adam's apples.
19
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:03,520
Heh, heh. You guys are
messin' with me, right?
20
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,274
Yeah. We are.
21
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:12,071
That was a good one.
For a second there, I was like, whoa!
22
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:18,595
Sync by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
23
00:01:18,619 --> 00:01:23,019
{an8}♪ So no one told you
life was going to be this way ♪
24
00:01:23,043 --> 00:01:25,743
{an8}♪ Your job's a joke,
you're broke ♪
25
00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:28,567
{an8}♪ Your love life's D.O.A. ♪
26
00:01:28,591 --> 00:01:32,591
{an8}♪ It's like you're always
stuck in second gear ♪
27
00:01:32,615 --> 00:01:34,815
{an8}♪ And it hasn't been your day ♪
28
00:01:34,839 --> 00:01:38,639
{an8}♪ Your week, your month,
or even your year ♪
29
00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:42,463
{an8}♪ But I'll be there for you ♪
30
00:01:42,487 --> 00:01:44,387
{an8}♪ When the rain starts to fall ♪
31
00:01:44,411 --> 00:01:47,211
{an8}♪ I'll be there for you ♪
32
00:01:47,235 --> 00:01:49,235
{an8}♪ Like I've been there before ♪
33
00:01:49,259 --> 00:01:52,659
{an8}♪ I'll be there for you ♪
34
00:01:52,683 --> 00:01:57,483
{an8}♪ 'Cause you're there
for me, too ♪
35
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:05,249
{an8}So, you name one woman that you
broke up with for an actual real reason.
36
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:07,417
{an8}Maureen Rosillo.
37
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,337
{an8}'Cause she doesn't hate Yanni,
is not a real reason.
38
00:02:10,361 --> 00:02:12,361
{an8}[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
39
00:02:14,185 --> 00:02:15,685
{an8}Oh...
40
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,386
{an8}hello, Mr. Heckles.
41
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,596
{an8}You're doing it again.
42
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,306
{an8}We're not doing anything.
43
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,434
{an8}You're stomping.
It's disturbing my birds.
44
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,856
{an8}You don't have birds.
45
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,316
{an8}I could have birds.
46
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,194
{an8}Okay, Mr. Heckles,
we'll try to keep it down.
47
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,737
{an8}Thank you.
48
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,448
{an8}I'm going to rejoin
my dinner party.
49
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,160
{an8}All right. Bye-bye.
50
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:43,804
{an8}CHANDLER: Okay, Janice. Janice.
51
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,832
{an8}You got to give me Janice.
That wasn't about being picky.
52
00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,208
{an8}We'll give you Janice.
53
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:50,335
{an8}I miss Janice, though.
54
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,671
{an8}[NASAL VOICE]:
Hello, Chandler Bing.
55
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:58,594
{an8}[IMITATING JANICE]: Oh...my...God.
56
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,429
{an8}[NASAL VOICE]: Oh, Chandler...
57
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,723
now...now...
58
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:06,185
that's it.
59
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,729
There. Faster.
60
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,753
[LAUGHING]
61
00:03:14,353 --> 00:03:16,353
[KNOCKING UNDERNEATH FLOOR]
62
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:19,765
Ugh. Stop with the broom!
We're not making noise!
63
00:03:19,789 --> 00:03:21,189
[STOMPING]
64
00:03:21,313 --> 00:03:22,813
[KNOCKING]
65
00:03:22,837 --> 00:03:24,637
[STOMPING]
66
00:03:25,061 --> 00:03:26,561
[KNOCKING]
67
00:03:26,585 --> 00:03:28,517
[ALL STOMPING]
68
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,585
- We won.
- We did?
69
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,879
- We won! Whoo!
- Whoo!
70
00:03:33,903 --> 00:03:35,903
[ALL GROANING]
71
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,091
Mr. Heckles...
72
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,806
- How did this happen?
- He must have been sweepin'.
73
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,267
They found a broom
in his hand.
74
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,395
Oh.
Oh, dear God.
75
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,064
- That's terrible.
- I know.
76
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,483
I was sweepin' yesterday.
77
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,236
- It could have been me.
- ROSS: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
78
00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:00,197
- JOEY: Sure, sure, you could have
- Sweeping...you never know.
79
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:01,573
Never know.
80
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,998
Okay, it's very faint, but I can
still sense him in the building.
81
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,543
[SCREAMING]: Go into
the light, Mr. Heckles!
82
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,340
Okay, Phoebe.
83
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,301
I'm sorry, but
sometimes they need help.
84
00:04:21,325 --> 00:04:23,011
[ALL GROAN]
85
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,596
- Yeah.
- Here we go.
86
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:27,307
That's fine.
Go ahead and scoff.
87
00:04:27,358 --> 00:04:30,218
You know, there are a lot of things
out there that I don't believe in,
88
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,354
but that doesn't mean
they're not true.
89
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,772
Such as?
90
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:38,652
Like crop circles, or the
Bermuda Triangle, or evolution.
91
00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:40,612
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
92
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,825
What, you don't, uh...
you don't believe in evolution?
93
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,285
Nah. Not really.
94
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,455
You don't believe
in evolution?
95
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,083
I don't know.
It's just, you know...
96
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,889
monkeys, Darwin...you know,
it's a, it's a nice story.
97
00:04:55,914 --> 00:04:58,112
I just think
it's a little too easy.
98
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:04,303
Too easy? Too...?
99
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,931
The process of every living thing
on this planet evolving
100
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,436
over millions of years from single-
celled organisms, is, is too easy?
101
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,272
Yeah, I just don't buy it.
102
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:20,402
Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not
for you to buy, Phoebe.
103
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:24,448
Evolution is scientific fact,
like, like, like the air we breathe,
104
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,241
like gravity.
105
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,744
Oh. Okay, don't get me
started on gravity.
106
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,751
You, uh...you don't
believe in gravity?
107
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,195
Well, it's not so much
that, you know, like
108
00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,197
I don't believe in it.
You know, it's just...
109
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,300
I don't know, lately I
get the feeling that
110
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,720
I'm not so much being pulled
down as I am being pushed.
111
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,055
Pushed. Pushed.
112
00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:50,079
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
113
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,726
Uh-oh. It's Isaac Newton,
and he's pissed.
114
00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:59,107
Oh, there she is. And over there,
that's the other one.
115
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,610
This is Mr. Buddy Boyle...
Mr. Heckles' attorney.
116
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:02,861
He'd like to talk to you.
117
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,488
What can we do for you?
118
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,782
All right, kids.
Here's the deal...
119
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,076
according to my client's will,
120
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:13,789
he wants to leave
all his earthly possessions
121
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,834
to the, uh, "noisy girls
in the apartment above mine."
122
00:06:17,858 --> 00:06:19,294
What?
123
00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,504
Well, what about
his family?
124
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,173
- He didn't have any.
- JOEY: Whoa.
125
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,385
Oh...okay, so
let's talk money.
126
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,554
All right. There was none.
127
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,431
Now, let's talk signing.
128
00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:34,851
You be noisy girl number one.
You be noisy girl number two.
129
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:39,564
I can't believe that this whole
time we thought he hated us.
130
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:43,318
I mean, isn't it amazing how much
you can touch someone's life,
131
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,529
without even knowing it?
132
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,239
Would you look at this dump?
133
00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,783
He hated us.
This was his final revenge.
134
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,285
Have you ever seen
so much crap?
135
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:56,123
Actually, I think this apartment
sullies the good name of crap.
136
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:58,708
Check this out.
137
00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,254
Can I have this?
138
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,425
How can you not
believe in evolution?
139
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,387
I don't know. Just don't.
Look at this funky shirt.
140
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:14,057
Look, Pheebs. I have studied
evolution my entire adult life.
141
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:17,644
Okay, and I can tell you, we have
collected fossils from all over the world
142
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,356
that actually show the evolution
of different species, okay?
143
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:24,359
I mean, you can
literally see them
144
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:28,113
evolving through time.
145
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,283
Really? You can
actually see it?
146
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:36,121
You bet. In...uh, in the U.S.,
China, Africa, all over.
147
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,748
See, I didn't know that.
148
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,460
Well, there you go.
149
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,086
Huh.
150
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:48,175
So, now, the real question is,
who put those fossils there, and why?
151
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:55,640
Hey, look at this.
"My Big Book of Grievances."
152
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,811
Hey, there's me.
153
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,356
"April 17th...excessive noise.
154
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:07,027
Italian guy comes home
with a date." Yeah.
155
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,812
Hey, Chandler, look,
you're in here, too.
156
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,531
"April 18th...excessive noise.
157
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:15,452
Italian guy's gay roommate
brings home dry-cleaning."
158
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:24,211
Well, that's excellent.
159
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,880
Monica...Monica,
look at this lamp.
160
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,466
Is this tacky or what?
We have to have this.
161
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,886
Uh, Rach, I think we have
enough regular lamps.
162
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:35,263
What? Oh, come on.
It's not like
163
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,183
I'm asking for this
girlie clock or anything.
164
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:41,311
Which, by the way,
I also think is really cool.
165
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:44,564
Look, it doesn't go
with any of my stuff.
166
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,484
Well, what about my stuff?
167
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,778
You don't have any stuff.
168
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,865
You still think of it as
your apartment, don't you?
169
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,617
Mm...no.
170
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,952
Yes, you do.
171
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,497
You think of it as your apartment,
and I'm just somebody who rents a room.
172
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,041
Mmm...
173
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,353
Okay, while you "mmm"
on that for a while,
174
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,486
I'm going to go find a
place for my new lamp.
175
00:09:07,510 --> 00:09:09,510
Mm...mm, mm, mm!
176
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,386
Okay, Pheebs. See how I'm
making these little toys move?
177
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,598
Opposable thumbs!
178
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:25,105
Without evolution, how do you
explain opposable thumbs?
179
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:29,943
Maybe the Overlords needed
them to steer their spacecrafts.
180
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:32,562
Please tell me
you're joking.
181
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:36,825
Look, can't we just say that you
believe in something, and I don't?
182
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,786
- No, no. No, Pheebs, we can't.
- Why not? - Okay, because...
183
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:43,415
What is this obsessive need you have
to make everybody agree with you?
184
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,710
No, what's that all about?
You know what I think?
185
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:52,215
I think, I think maybe it's time
you put Ross under the microscope.
186
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,638
Is there blood coming
out of my ears?
187
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,893
Check it out. Check it out.
Heckles' high school yearbook.
188
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:05,395
Look.
189
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:06,730
Wow, he looks so normal.
190
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,982
He's even kind of cute.
191
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,484
"Heckles, you crack me
up in science class.
192
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,737
You're the funniest
kid in school."
193
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,281
- Funniest? Heckles?
- That's what it says.
194
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,785
Wow. Heckles was voted
class clown, and so was I.
195
00:10:20,809 --> 00:10:22,704
[THUMPING FROM UPSTAIRS]
196
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,956
He was right.
Would you listen to that?
197
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,459
I'd call that excessive.
198
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,252
- Whoa!
- What?
199
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:32,422
Heckles played clarinet in band,
and I played clarinet.
200
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:36,217
And he was in the scale
modeler's club, and I was...
201
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:39,554
well, there was no club, but
I sure thought they were cool.
202
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,265
So, you were both dorks.
203
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:43,725
Big deal.
204
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,711
I just think it's weird, you know?
[THUMPING] Heckles and me...
205
00:10:46,735 --> 00:10:48,063
[THUMPING]
206
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,781
- Heckles, and me, me...
- [THUMPING]
207
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,424
- me and Heckles...
- [THUMPING]
208
00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,735
Hey, would you knock it off!
209
00:10:53,759 --> 00:10:55,759
[BANGING ON CEILING]
210
00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,115
[YELLS] Bah!
211
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,421
Have you been
here all night?
212
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,465
Look at this.
213
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,209
Pictures of all the women
that Heckles went out with.
214
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,930
Look what he wrote on them.
"Vivian, too tall."
215
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,807
"Madge, big gums."
216
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,059
"Too loud."
217
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,395
"Too smart."
"Makes noise when she eats."
218
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,271
This is...this is me.
219
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,357
This is what I do.
220
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,486
I'm going to end up alone,
just like he did.
221
00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,363
Chandler, Heckles
was a nut case.
222
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,532
Our trains are on
the same track, okay?
223
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,285
Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years
behind him, but the stops are all the same.
224
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,121
Bitter Town,
225
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,082
Alone-ville, Hermit Junction.
226
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:53,144
All right, you know what we got to do?
We got to get you out of here.
227
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:54,963
Come on, I'll buy you
breakfast. Let's go.
228
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,049
What if I never find somebody?
Or even worse, what if I've found her,
229
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:02,178
but I dumped her because she
pronounced it "supposably"?
230
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,849
Chandler, come on, you're
going to find somebody.
231
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,059
How do you know
that? How?
232
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:10,937
I don't know. I'm just
tryin' to help you out.
233
00:12:11,622 --> 00:12:14,098
You'll see, you guys are all
going to go off and get married,
234
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,525
and I'm going to
end up alone.
235
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,027
Will you promise
me something?
236
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,573
When you're married, will you
invite me over for holidays?
237
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,900
Well, I mean, I don't know. I don't
know what we're going to be doin'.
238
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,914
I mean, what if we're over
at her folks' place?
239
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,294
Yeah, I understand.
240
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,924
You can come over and
watch the Super Bowl.
241
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,051
Every year, all right?
242
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:46,598
You know what? I'm not
going to end up like this.
243
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,683
I'll see you, man.
244
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,230
Geez.
245
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,736
"Supposably..."
246
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,907
Supposably.
247
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,787
"Did they go to the zoo?"
248
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,206
"Supposably."
249
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,095
Hi, it's me.
250
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:30,600
Oh...my...God.
251
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,145
Janice? You called Janice?
252
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:36,981
Yes, Janice.
253
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,150
Why is that so difficult
for you to comprehend?
254
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,611
You remember Janice, right?
255
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:47,325
Yes. She was smart, she was pretty,
and she honestly cared about me.
256
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,245
Janice is my last chance
to have somebody.
257
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,248
Hello!
258
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:59,379
Oh...my...God.
259
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,174
Jeez, look how fat she got.
260
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,888
- Hey, it's everybody.
- ALL: Hi, Janice.
261
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,306
Janice, you're...
262
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,559
Yes, I am.
263
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,186
- Is it...?
- Is it yours? Hah!
264
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,438
You wish, Chandler Bing.
265
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:22,110
You are looking at a
married lady now.
266
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:23,486
[WITH POLITE INDIFFERENCE]: Oh.
267
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,113
Yeah.
268
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,575
Congratulations.
269
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,119
Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry.
270
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,446
You couldn't have told me
about this over the phone?
271
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,457
And what? Missed the expression
on your face? Oh, no.
272
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,419
Janice likes to have her fun.
273
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,443
[BRAYING LAUGH]
274
00:14:50,282 --> 00:14:51,782
Hey, Rach.
275
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,850
You know what we haven't
played in a while?
276
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,519
- What?
- Hide the lamp.
277
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,231
Okay. Monica, let it go.
278
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,401
Did you know I was
allergic to shellfish?
279
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:06,738
Well, then, you'll just have
to eat the other lamps.
280
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,493
Uh-oh. It's Scary
Scientist Man.
281
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,873
Okay, Phoebe, this is it.
282
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:20,835
In this briefcase I carry
actual scientific facts...
283
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,796
a briefcase of facts,
if you will.
284
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:31,012
Some of these fossils are
over 200 million years old.
285
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:34,474
Okay, look, before you even start,
I'm not denying evolution, okay,
286
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,968
I'm just saying that it's
just one of the possibilities.
287
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,978
It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
288
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:44,108
Okay, Ross, could you just open
your mind, like, this much? Okay?
289
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,441
Now, wasn't there a time
when the brightest minds
290
00:15:46,466 --> 00:15:48,595
in the world believed
that the Earth was flat?
291
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,758
And, up until like,
what, 50 years ago,
292
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:54,101
you all thought the atom
was the smallest thing,
293
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:58,039
until you split it open, and this,
like, whole mess of crap came out.
294
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:04,545
Now, are you telling me that you
are so unbelievably arrogant
295
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,591
that you can't admit that
there's a teeny, tiny possibility
296
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,843
that you could be
wrong about this?
297
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,519
There might be...
298
00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,647
a teeny...
299
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,191
tiny...
300
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:28,486
possibility.
301
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,448
I can't believe you caved.
302
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,118
What?
303
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,705
You just abandoned
your whole belief system.
304
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,334
I mean, before, I didn't agree with
you, but at least I respected you.
305
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,044
But...
306
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:46,588
How, how, how are you going
307
00:16:46,613 --> 00:16:47,738
- to go into work tomorrow?
- How...?
308
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,675
How, how are you going to
face the other science guys?
309
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,720
How, how are you going to
face yourself? Oh!
310
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,321
That was fun.
So, who's hungry?
311
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:13,656
I am.
312
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,825
Me, too. Let me
just get my coat.
313
00:17:18,749 --> 00:17:20,749
[CRASH]
314
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,773
Oh!
315
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,585
What happened?!
316
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:28,671
Okay, all right. It was an
accident, I swear. All right?
317
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:32,842
I was putting on my jacket, and
the thing...and the lamp, and it broke.
318
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,471
Oh, please, Monica.
You've always hated my lamp.
319
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:40,933
And now all of a sudden,
it's just magically, it's just broken?
320
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,393
Phoebe, tell her.
321
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,938
Okay, I didn't see it, 'cause
I was putting on my jacket,
322
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,482
but I, um, want to believe you.
323
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:55,865
Hey, Chandler. Monica just
broke my seashell lamp.
324
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:57,533
Neat.
325
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,619
I'm going to die alone.
326
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,165
Okay, you win.
327
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,335
Chandler, you are not
going to die alone.
328
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,837
Janice was my
safety net, okay?
329
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,714
And now I have
to get a snake.
330
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,884
Uh-huh. Why is that?
331
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,513
If I'm going to be an old, lonely man,
I'm going to need a thing,
332
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,348
you know? A hook.
333
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,601
Like that guy on the subway
who eats his own face.
334
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,554
So I figure I'll be "Crazy Man
With A Snake," you know?
335
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,855
Crazy Snake Man.
336
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,108
And I'll get more snakes,
call them my babies.
337
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,485
Kids won't walk past my place,
they will run.
338
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,905
"Run away from Crazy Snake Man!"
They'll shout.
339
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,953
You've got to get
over this, okay?
340
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,788
You're not going
to end up alone.
341
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,581
Of course I am.
342
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:49,544
I reject anyone who's crazy enough
to actually go out with me,
343
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:53,422
and then I bitch about the fact that
there aren't any great women out there.
344
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,426
Chandler, you have
just described
345
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:01,264
virtually every man that
we have ever gone out with.
346
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,932
Yeah.
347
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:05,393
You are not a freak.
You're a guy.
348
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:08,329
RACHEL: She's right,
she's right.
349
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,148
You're no different
than the rest of them.
350
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,608
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Yes, he is.
351
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,610
Yeah. You are
totally different.
352
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:15,862
In a bad way?
353
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,864
No, honey,
in a wonderful way.
354
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,824
You know what
you want now.
355
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,617
Most guys don't
even have a clue.
356
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:23,831
You're ready to take
risks, you are ready to
357
00:19:23,856 --> 00:19:25,687
be vulnerable, and
intimate with someone.
358
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:27,456
Yeah. You're not going
to end up alone.
359
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:33,838
Chandler, you called Janice. That's how
much you wanted to be with someone.
360
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,466
- You've made it.
- You're there.
361
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,136
You are ready to
make a commitment.
362
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:42,638
Whoa! Don't
know about that.
363
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,063
Wow. What you got there?
364
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:54,483
Something else that's not
yours that you can break?
365
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:56,986
No.
366
00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:00,364
Um...I know you like this,
and I want you to have it.
367
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,575
I think it would look
good in our apartment.
368
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,578
Thank you.
369
00:20:07,102 --> 00:20:09,102
[WHISTLED CATCALLS]
370
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,336
That's fine.
371
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,588
- Hey!
- Hey!
372
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:19,592
Well, you will all be pleased to know
that I have a date tomorrow night.
373
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,969
This woman, Allison, from work...
she is great.
374
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,389
She's pretty, she's smart.
And, uh...I've been
375
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,935
holding off on asking her out in
the past, because she has a, uh...
376
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,520
unusually large head.
377
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,399
But, I'm not going to let that
stuff hang me up anymore.
378
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:36,651
All right.
379
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:38,236
Look at me. I'm growing.
380
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,698
Hey, uh, you can't recycle
yearbooks, can you?
381
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:44,700
I'll take that.
382
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,077
You want his yearbook?
383
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,524
Yeah, yeah. Some people
said some nice things
384
00:20:48,549 --> 00:20:50,689
about him. I think
somebody should have it.
385
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:53,334
Oh, gosh, this is so weird.
386
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:56,879
I mean, his whole life was in
this apartment, and now it's gone.
387
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:02,510
You know, I think it would be nice if we
just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles.
388
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:07,473
I mean, he was kind of a pain.
He was, but, he was a person.
389
00:21:07,497 --> 00:21:09,308
[ALL LAUGHING]
390
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:11,102
What?
391
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,940
You're all going to hell.
392
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,359
Oh, it's really
not that big.
393
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:23,781
- Takin' that with you, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
394
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:31,580
Hey, you comin'?
395
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,291
Yeah, just a second.
396
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:51,517
Good-bye, Mr. Heckles.
397
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,939
We'll try to keep it down.
398
00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:09,493
{an8}Oh, my major
was totally useless.
399
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:13,831
{an8}I mean, how often do you look in the
classifieds and see "Philosopher Wanted"?
400
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,499
{an8}Heh, heh. Sure.
401
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:18,002
{an8}[THINKING]: My God,
that's a big head.
402
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,716
{an8}It didn't look this big in the office.
Maybe it's the lighting.
403
00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:27,178
{an8}My head must look
like a golf ball at work.
404
00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:32,016
{an8}All right, don't get hung up on it. Quick,
quick. List five things you like about her.
405
00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:34,226
{an8}Nice smile, good dresser...
406
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,979
{an8}big head, big head, big head.
407
00:22:37,003 --> 00:22:39,003
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