All language subtitles for Foil 2023 English

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Dexter.

- Bonnie? Hi.
- Oh, my God!

Hi. Are you in town
for the reunion?

That's right.
Yeah. The ten year.
Yeah. How can I miss it?

And you're still on Hollywood?
How's that going?

It's going pretty well, actually.

We have a script in development.

Uh, fun stuff
on the horizon, you know?

Didn't I just hear
that you made a movie,
like, a few years ago, right?

I was-- I was looking for it.

I was like, "Where is
this movie?" And I never--

- I never saw it in the theaters
or even here.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I did make
another movie. Uh,

it is currently, you know,
mixed up in distribution, and...

- Oh. I don't know
what that means...
- ...got a little mixed up.

- ...but it sounds true.
- Yeah, absolutely.

And it's totally normal.
They'll figure it out, so--

I always knew
that you would do well,
even in musical theater.

- Do you remember The Music Man?
- Yes!

Oh, you were
the cutest little Winthrop.

Don't get me started... Amaryllis.

- I'm starting it up. Vroom!
- Or I'll have to do
the "Shipoopi."

Okay!

♪ Shipoopi! ♪

♪ Shipoopi! ♪

♪ That girl who's hard to get ♪

♪ And something this
and something... ♪

♪ ...and anything but fussy ♪

Hey, so here's your application
for employment here.

Go ahead and fill that out,
and then give me
your driver's license

- so I can make a copy
for my record.
- Sure.

- Um, this, this is--
- The manager here, Felix.

How are you doing?
You applying for the job too?

Oh. Um--

- No.
- Just you?

- And I, I, I-- Yes.
- Cool.

Uh, Dexter, it was really good
bumping into you.

Yeah, absolutely.

Um, see you at the reunion?

Thanks so much for coming in.

Okay.

So, do you play D&D?

- What now?
- Dungeons & Dragons?

The whole staff here plays it
on Mondays and on full moons.

No. No, I, I don't.

And on Tuesdays,
we got Tekken Tuesdays.

I gotta warn you,
we're actually
pretty serious about it.

- Uh-huh.
- A couple of weeks ago, uh,
one of the controllers jammed

right at the climax
of the fight.

- Huh.
- And the dude just went crazy.

He threw the controller
and started wailing
on his opponent,

blood everywhere,
on his knuckles,

- on the windows.
We had to fire him.
- Jesus. What?

Christ. That's insane.

Hell of a guy, though.

- Like a really good guy.
- Uh-huh.

Then on Wednesdays,
you know, we got film trivia.

We're the "Sassy Cassavetes."

We were supposed
to be the "Cassette-avetes,"

- but they told me that--
- Yeah. Can I stop you?

Actually, I,
I'm in a big rush today,

so I would love it if I could
just fill out this application,

hand it into you,
and see if I got the job.

Oh, I get it.

What?

No, I get it. You're just...

...you know, here for the job,
not here for the culture.

- No.
- You know what? Get out of here,
because you're done.

Good luck on your reunion.

...you have my car one day?
One day and you get a ticket?

- I mean, who does that--
- Mom! I-- I couldn't see
the handicapped sign, okay?

It was, like, behind, like,
a bush and you couldn't see it!

You are living on my turf.
You're living under my roof.

I expect you to have
a little more respect
for my rules!

It's not my choice-- Okay.
Thank you for the advice.

...you, you, you,
you, and yours.

I mean, I'm tired of it.
And it's about time.

Get your butt in here.
I made you some stroganoff.

- Just get your Tallahassee
out of here...
- Stroganoff?

- ...and come eat the stroganoff
before it gets cold.
- Okay!

- In five minutes.
Five more minutes...
- Get your bum outta here.

- ...I'm in there.
- I was the only person
in the store today,

- I don't know what they're doing
but they had no cashiers...
- Hey!

...they had nobody there
to help me.

I mean, when was the last time

that you've even fed the gecko?

Get out of there.
Give me some help.

I'm picking up your socks.

That's all I do is
clean up after Dexter.

Dexter, Dexter, Dexter,
that's all I'm doing.

Cleaning up after Dexter...

♪ Sometimes we remember... ♪

Hey.

Don't I know you?

No, no. I'm, I'm a nobody.

No. No, no, no, I, I know you.

Yo-- you make movies, right?

Yeah, yeah. I do
make movies. Have you seen--

- Do you know my work?
- Yeah. Um,
what is your name again?

- It starts with a "D," right?
Oh, it's, uh, um...
- Yeah.

- ...Dave or--
uh, Darren? No! No.
- That's close. Not quite.

It's Da-- Dana! Oh, my gosh!

- Dana?
- Dana Carvey. Right?

- Hmm, right.
- Oh, God, in my bar!

- Oh, my God, so amazing!
- I'm sorry.

I'm not--
Well, isn't that special?

Right. Yeah. That's funny.

Church Lady, she's so classic!

I'm not Dana Carvey.
My name is Dexter.

Oh, okay.

Well, "Dexter," don't worry.

I won't tell anybody
that it's you.

Oh, no, no, I'm really not--

We're not worthy!

We're not worthy!

Okay. Okay.

I'm not-- I'm not him.
I'm not-- I'm not him.

- Just Dexter.
- Three, two, one...

- Fucking go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
- What the hell?

- Rex?
- Come on. You got it,
you got it.

You got it. I need this.

Whoo! And that is why

you can't drink Rex
under the table.

Alright. Y'all stay here.

I'll be right back.

Reload!

Gina! [sighs] Two more pitchers.

Dana, how about you?
You want another round?

I'm going to pump you up!

Lady, I'm not Dana Carvey,
okay? I'm serious.

I'm not him!

You're damn right you're not.

You are Dexter freaking Wiggins.

- Yes. Yes. Yes, you caught me.
- What the hell
are you doing here, man?

- I'm here
for the ten year, dude.
- The ten year,

- that's what I thought.
You know, last night...
- Yeah.

...I was watching Splash.
I was pounding Modelos,

- just like we used to.
- Holy shit,
man, that's insane.

- Yeah, remember those days?
- Wow. Hey, well, it doesn't look
like a lot's changed.

Yeah, Daryl Hannah is still,
uh, still hot as ever.

No, no. I mean, the, the, the--

Oh!
Boys from work.
Power trio over there,

throwing me a little fiesta
as we speak.

- Oh, that's cool.
Did you get promoted?
- Yeah.

No, no, no, no. No, I quit.

- Oh.
- Tomorrow I'm splitting town.

So you're not gonna go
to the reunion?

No, no, hell no. No,
I'm going out to the desert.

A little solo camping trip,
you know, get the mind right.
Sort of reset.

Hey, Rex,
Joey wants to go again.

I threw up,
so I could go t-- one more time.

I gotta take care
of these bastards real quick.

- Alright? But you stay here.
- I don't know, man.

I got a lot of writing
to do this weekend.

And I can't get too hungover,
you know?

So you mean to tell me

that you're not even
a little bit curious

to bump into some Bakersfield
Bobcats at this reunion?

I mean, do you know who's
gonna be chaperoning this thing?

- You think?
- Yeah.

The man, the myth...

- The legend, Coach Roach!
- ...Coach Roach!

Yeah, dude! And he's gonna be
walking around in those squeaky
GORE-TEX shoes.

- You know
what I'm talking about?
- You talking about the layup?

The layup heard
around the world, man!

He walks into practice
in his GORE-TEX shoes.

"GORE-TEX is the future, boys!"

He goes up for a layup.
Not just the regular layup.

- Mm-mm.
- Like the MJ in '91,
up and under.

And then, bam! He just eats it!

Just shatters his femur.

Oh, shattered. Shattered.

- I can still hear that.
- He's just on his back,

and he can't get up
and he's just there.

- "The GORE-TEX."
-"The GORE-TEX."

"The GORE-TEX let me down. Oh!"

I can't believe
he kicked me off the team.

I sure can. You were
a maniac out there, man.

You had the most technical fouls
in school history.

- I was passionate.
- Dude, you didn't even start!

Every team needs a Rodman.

Rodman can rebound, so--

I will say that when you and I
were both on the floor,

- we were good.
- The Rex-Dex Superflex.

The Superflex.
That pick and roll
was unstoppable.

Before Stockton and Malone,
Rex and Dex. Oh, thank you.

GORE-TEX.

Mm. Alright, level with me.

Where are you going this weekend
that's so great, huh?

Oh, it's just this little
ghost town out in the desert,

a little place called Old Dale.

What did you say?

- Old Dale.
- Old Dale?

Yeah. What, is there
an echo in here? Old Dale.

Old Dale!

Dude, I've been to Old Dale,
like, with my writers group.

- You went camping?
- No, we stayed
at the Travelodge in town,

but we did hike in for a day
to experience this, uh, vortex
that's supposedly out there.

What the hell is a vortex?

It's like an energy field

that's generated
by the land or whatever,

but it's supposed to help
with positivity and creativity

and, like,
all that good vibes stuff.

Well, did it?

Hard to say.

What I will say
is that ten writers went in,

and all ten of us
came out with ideas
we didn't have before.

So this is, this is real?

I mean, it could be.

Or it could not be.
I don't know.

I mean, I spent one day there,

so I, I'd probably need
to spend more time

to gather more data.
You know what I mean?

Well, what if you did spend
a little more time?

I mean, with me, this weekend?

Why don't you come along?

We'll gather some more data,

see if this thing
is real or not.

You got something better to do?

Yeah, I do. A ten-year reunion.

Come on, the ten year?
What, do yo--

you wanna sit
in the gym in your khakis

and catch up with Craig Schiss?

Oh! Fuck Craig Schiss.
Ryan Wheatleaf?

Dude, no. That guy
still wants to kick your ass.

He thinks you pissed
in his gas tank.

You are the one that pissed
in the gas tank, man!
It wasn't me!

And he crashed into a pole
and he learned his lesson.

- And he never
messed with you again!
- No, he didn't.

Alright, look.
What did you tell me?

You gotta do
some writing, right?

Yeah. No, I do. I, I have,

I have a pitch meeting
on Monday,

and I currently
don't have a pitch.

And trying
to figure it out at my mom's

has so far proven
fully infertile.

- So, yeah,
I'm a little stressed.
- Well, gosh, man, I don't know.

It sounds to me
like you might benefit

from getting out
of your mom's house.

Maybe a, a place that
the energy is a little better,

where you can breathe.
I don't know,
maybe like a vortex?

"The vortex, boys."

Right. The vortex.

- Okay?
- If I don't have
an idea by Monday,

I'm gonna be in deep shit,
okay? It's important.

As the great poet
Jimmy Buffett once said...

♪ ...come Monday
it'll be alright ♪

♪ Come Monday
I'll be holding you tight ♪

- ♪ I spent four-- ♪
- Okay. Okay. Okay, I will go.

I'll be in your driveway 0600!

We're doing this thing.
Comprende?

Comprende.

Comprende!

Woo-hoo! Mile Markers
for breakfast, baby!

We are out in it. Mm-hmm.

Look around, man, this is it!

Like, there's just something
so American

- about heading west, you know?
- Yeah. Yeah!

Although we are headed east.

What are you writing there?

I got a quick idea
I wanna get down.

- Could be something.
- Well, what is it?

No, no, no. It's, it's just
in the beginning stages

- of being something.
- Come on. Let me see it.

No! No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm serious, I'm serious.

I told you, I have
a big meeting Monday.

- It could be make-or-break, man!
- Look, I get it.

You're a hotshot filmmaker now.
You don't have time.

Let's get this straight, okay?

I've been in Hollywood,
yes, for ten years.

And what have I done
with that time?
I've made one movie.

- The Watery Hole.
- Watering Holes!

Watering Hol--
it's not about a watery hole.

It's about the hot springs
and about love.

- Hey, man, it was good.
- The movie was crap, man.

I didn't even put my name on it,
if you cared to notice.

You know what?

I brought something, actually,
come to think of it.

- I brought a little
something for you. Boom!
- Oh, my God.

What?

- Yeah.
- How do you have that?

Man, I hate that you found that.

"A Dusty Peter film."

I did not see that.

- Hand that over, please. Please.
- What a--

what are we doing? Are we
writing the sequel out here?

- 'Cause I do have some ideas.
- No.

Watering Holes 2. Okay?

-"All the wells are dry."
- Give it!

- Fine.
- This goes in the vault.

Hang on to that, man.
I c-- that could be worth
something someday.

So, uh, the vortex.
What do you think causes it?

You know,
I don't know. I-- it sounds
like it's probably, like,

tectonic magnetic stuff,
you know,

like, Bermuda Triangle thing.

Ew. Front cup.

Did you know
that there was a UFO crash
out here 60 years ago?

Whoa. You got a notebook too?

All kinds of disappearances
ever since?

I'm kind of bummed
you heard that story,

because it's not true.

What if that's what's causing
this whole vortex deal?

Please don't tell me
you were going out here

for some sort of UFO hunt,
man, seriously.

Because this trip is about
inspiration and peace of mind.

What would you do if we saw one?

Saw what?

- An extraterrestrial?
- Oh, my God.

Dude, do you know
what the chances are
of that happening?

Look, I'm not saying
that it, it's a UFO thing,

but I'm just saying
we could get lucky.

Okay. Okay. Look,
if we got lucky and ran
into an alien in the desert,

I would shoot it, I guess.

- Well, hell, yeah. I would too.
- I mean, why not?

- Glad we're on the same page.
- Yeah.

I always say the best defense
is a good offense.

- What?
- Yeah. I got the bird shot
locked and loaded here.

Bird shot?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God!

It's enough to ruin your day.
Not enough to kill.

No! No. I didn't mean shoot it.

I meant shoot it
with my camera.

Front cup.

- MiniDV.
- Mini RV?

It's really easy, man.
You just flip this open

and hit record.
You could even use it.

I don't know
how to work a mini RV.

A D-- a DV, dude.

- It's cool.
- Yeah, whatever.

Ugh. Front cup.

Why do you keep saying that,
"front cup"?

Uh-- 'cause you keep
spitting in that cup.

I don't wanna drink from that.

Why would you drink
from my dip cup?

I, I wouldn't on purpose.
It's just we have

the same Styrofoam cup,
you know?

Alright, this is the dip cup.
This is the sip cup.

- Okay.
- It-- it's not rocket science.

- Dip cup. Sip cup.
- I understand that!

But you've introduced
dip to the equation,

so I have to be vigilant!

I, I liked you better
as a smoker, man.

It was easier.

Question for you.
I did bring some mushrooms.

- Mushrooms?
- I figure we're trying
to connect with the territory.

I'm not even sure
if they'll work.

No. No. Full no!

I got one for you
and one for me.

- Please. I-- No.
That stays in the truck!
- You, me,

- and the devil
makes three, baby.
- You, me,

and the devil makes a felony.
So does the shotgun.

Those both stay in the car.
Okay? Comprende?

God. Comprende.

God damn, get on my level, man.

Get on your level, yes, sir.

"The Vortex."

"The Vortex."

Oh, my God!

You just spit in the back cup!

♪ Take, take my hand ♪

♪ And let's go where
we need to be ♪

♪ And when we get there ♪

♪ Release me and set me free ♪

♪ The spirit moves ♪

♪ The spirit moves
inside of me ♪

- Rex, stop the car!
- Come on, come on.

Stop it right now!

You! God damn it!

♪ The spirit moves ♪

♪ The spirit moves
inside of me ♪

- ♪ The spirit moves ♪
- Oh!

♪ The spirit moves
inside of me ♪

Right here.

Right here, my dude.

- Yes.
- Whoo!

- Alright.
- Yes.

We're here, man.
We're very close.

Uh-uh! Shotgun!

What did we say? We're
gonna leave it in the car.

Let me protect us.

- You don't-- J--
You don't need to.
- Come on.

- I promise you,
this is a peaceful place.
- You'll thank me later.

- Come on.
- This is a peaceful place.
Leave it in the car. Come on.

Come on.

You know
it's the right thing to do.

God.

There's so many things
you can need a shotgun for.

I'm not just talking extraterrestrial.

I'm talking terrestrial.
Lizards, buzzards, cougars.

Yeah, right, man. There aren't
any cougars out here.

And there aren't
any aliens either.

You don't know
what I've experienced, man.
Close encounters change you,

- fundamentally.
-"Fundamentally."
I cannot believe

you are still on this
close encounter story, man.

We all know nothing happened.

- Yeah? Nothing happened, huh?
- Yeah.

- Okay. How do you explain this?
- Oh. Yeah.

- The scar? Oh--
- How do you explain it?

- You can't do it.
- We know you got
your appendix out, man.

We, we debunked this years ago.

You didn't debunk shit. Okay?

- No--
- The appendix
is a different scar.

You were really going out here

for a UFO hunt, weren't you?

You don't know, man.

And you don't know
because you weren't there.

I was there, man.
I was with you that night.

No, you wer-- you were with me
until you guys split

and ran away
when the light showed up.

Right? And then
you were blacked out

and went off after the lights,
which turned out to be

- a park ranger telling us
to put out our fire.
- No. It's not a park ranger.

- Yeah, it was.
- It was not a park ranger!

You got back like a day later,

like you've been off
on some bender.
You're all haggard

and looking
all wide-eyed and shit.

I went in,
while you guys scrambled out.

- I went in, and I saw it,
and I touched it.
- Uh-huh.

You've been watching
too much X-Files, man.

Yeah. Yeah.
And you're my Scully.

- You know what?
You're worse than Scully.
- Yeah, I'm the rational one.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. At least--
at least Scully's hot.

I'm hot!

Not to mention
she's an actual doctor

with scientific chops.

Who are you? A porno director?

Okay.

Wow.

Yeah?

Alright, man.

- That's it.
- That's the vortex, huh?

That's the spot,
yeah. That's right
where we sat last time,

supposedly the epicenter.

- Epicenter, huh?
- You ready for this?

Ready as I'll ever be.
- 'Cause I'm telling you,

it's supposed to, like,
elevate your mood when it hits,

so I wanna make sure
your head's the right spot.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Reset.

- Ready. Let's do this.
- Let's do it!

You feel anything?

I don't know. You?

You sure this is the spot?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is it, man.

I think the effects are just
a little more gradual

than you're expecting,
but this is the vortex,

- alright?
- No, man, this ain't it.

Drink it in.

- This ain't it.
- What are you talking about?

This is it. What d--

What are you doing?

I think...

...I think we gotta go this way.

Whoa. Whoa. No, no, no.

- Like, t--
this is the spot, man.
- No, no, no. No, no, no.

- We gotta go this way.
- This is the spot where, like,

I came up with all my ideas.

All your ideas? Yeah.

And how, how'd they turn out?

Listen, I need you
to trust me on this, alright?

I can feel it in my gut.
I'm being pulled this way.

- Into the brush? It's like
a rock wall over there.
- Look, look, look.

We can stay here, right?
But you've been here before.

You know where that leads.
Do you wanna do that?

Or you wanna see if there's
something more out there?

Did you take those shrooms, man?

Okay. Can you at least
take the camera?
I can't climb up with it.

Give me.

Give me your hand.

- ...there,
past the second cactus.
- Over there?

- One, two.
- Oh, dude!

Right--

Right--

Jesus!

Damn it.

I think this is it.

What do you think?

I knew we'd get lucky.

You think this is the spot?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Alright, man.

You feel it?

- Yeah. I feel it.
- Yeah, you do.

- I feel it. It's cool.
- Yeah, you do. You feel it.

It's cool. Okay. Alright.

- Alright. Do we set up camp?
- Set up camp.

Okay, let's go.

Alright, man.
Let's get this fire lit, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Alright.

Hey. Whoa.

What's, uh,
what's with the knife?

It's a hunting-- it's a,
it's a camping knife.

Keep it on me at all times.

You keep this massive knife

strapped to your leg
at all times?

Yeah, I, I didn't
even think to mention it.

It's just helpful to have
when you're out here.

- Okay.
- Check it out.

What are you doing? Oh, shit!

What did I tell you?

- Look at that.
- Okay. Righ--

Good for you
and your caveman blade.

So...

...what are we up to tonight?

Because I heard
if we look to the north skies,

- we might see some serious shit.
- Actually, dude.

Do you think it'd be cool
if on night one we did
sort of like a,

like a silent retreat
kind of thing?

- Silent treatment?
- No, no, no, like a r--

a silent retreat where, like,

you know, it just gives me
a second to, like,

focus on my thoughts, you know,
like, put pen to paper.

You wanna play the quiet game.

What am I, your 5-year-old son?

That's not--
Just give me one night.

Alright, my lips are sealed.

Okay. Dude, thank you.

Alright, silence begins...

- ...now.
- Silencio. Godspeed.

- Thanks, man.
- Got it.

- What was that?
Was that a cougar?
- No.

Hey, neighbors!

I'm Tom.

- Hey, Tom. I'm Rex.
- Hey.

- Rex, how are you?
- This is Dex.

- Dex. Oh, yeah.
- Dexter, yeah.

So we got
Dex and Rex.

Special place, huh?

- Yeah.
- I mean,
it is a magical place.

It's, it's the vortex, right?

Oh!
Oh, you're telling me?

You should've seen my limp
before the vortex.

Doctor said I had
to have surgery on this hip

and hernias
and arthritis... all gone.

Land of miracles, huh?
Well, that's cool.

Thanks, Tom,
for coming by tonight,
introducing yourself.

- Yeah.
- Uh, you know, we just got here,
so we're getting our bearings.

Oh, bearings? [chuckling] Oh,
I got you covered with bearings.

- Oh, I can tell you the rails...
- Okay.

...and the trails and the views
and the do's and the don'ts.

That's cool. Yeah, maybe--
yeah, maybe tomorrow or,

you know, once we're
a little more settled in.

You know, sometimes
I come out of here and...

...I realize that some places
people have never walked on.

Do you know that 65%
of the Earth is undiscovered?

Some people, they just,
they don't even know
what they're looking at.

I mean, just look up,
look at those stars.

See these stars?
Now we're looking at the,
the rocks and the,

and the sand and--
I mean, what's inside of you?

What's inside of you?
What's inside of me?

Wha-- what is all that?
It's the same atoms.

They've all been here
since the Big Bang.
It's all the same.

In the end, I mean,
we're all just stardust.

When you think about it.

I'm thinking about what
you're sipping on right there.

I'm curious. What do you got?

If I said it was aged ten years,
would, uh, would that mean
anything to you?

Whoo.

- Hey.
- Oh, no. Ten years
is better than beers.

- Right? Good.
- Alright. You gonna try it?

Quality check. Quality check.

- Whew! Whew!
- Whew.

Oh, that's good.
Dex, you gotta try this.

- No. That's alright, no.
- Little nip. Come on.

- Give it back to the man.
Give it back to the man--
- You sure?

- Actually, Tom. Tom, right?
- Yes.

- Yeah.
- Wh-- why don't you, uh--
Why don't you have a seat?

- Take my rock. Yeah, let's
talk more about this stuff.
- Oh, thanks!

- Saddle up, partner!
- Alright.

That's my-- O-- Okay. Sure.

Now here's my theory, alright?

"And that is why," he says,
"you should never use
skunk scat as a battery!"

Trust a local on that one.

You know, I've been thinking
about what you said, about...

...how we're all just starburst.

And, you know, it got me
to thinking that, you know,

me and Dex, we don't know
how the vortex works.

We don't know
what causes it, 'cause--
I mean, hell, we just got here.

You know, but a local
like you, a guy who lives it?
I figure you have some answers.

Yeah, I bet he does,
but it's just it's getting
so late, you know?

Tom, I...
we've had fun tonight, but,

uh, you know, we, we,
we came out here with some, uh,

specific intentions
in mind for this vortex,

and, uh, I hate to sound terse,

but, but, but your being here
is kind of directly keeping us

from focusing on those things
so if we can try and--

- Okay. Okay. Hang on.
Slow down. Slow down.
- What?

What's all this "we" talk?
I mean, y-- the silent treatment
was your idea.

- Retreat.
- So... [sighs] Dexter,

you don't have
any questions about the vortex?

Uh, yeah, I got one.
Um, are you spending
the night with us tonight

or are you gonna go back
to your, uh, to your space?

Okay, here's a question.
Shoot me straight.

Do you know
how this vortex works?

Yeah. I believe I do.

- It's paranormal, right?
- Oh, Rex, don't encourage him.

Well, as a matter of fact--

- Oh. Oy vei.
- Whoa.

- What is it?
- Rex, it's a piece of foil.

This is not
just a piece of foil.

- This is from a crash site.
- Yeah, yeah, the UFO crash site

60 years ago.
I, I researched this.

I read about it on,
on the Internet.

- Dex, are you seeing this?
- So what
are you saying, Tom?

You're trying to say
that that foil is the cause
of this entire vortex?

I'm saying that this foil
possesses a power

that you nor I could ever hope
to understand.

This is a living thing,
and there's more of it
out there.

Okay, Obi Wan. So,
so you're UFO treasure hunter.

Dex, pay attention to this, man.

This is the inspiration
you're looking for.

Okay. Alright, Tom, humor me.

What about this foil
makes it different
from any other piece of foil?

I mean, how do we know
that didn't come off
your sandwich this afternoon?

How do we know that it's
of any significance whatsoever?

You know what? You're right.

Nothing special.

Oh, look at that.

Okay. Alright.
I will admit that
that looked kind of cool.

It's memory foil. Tha--
that's the stuff from Roswell.

- That's before Roswell.
- For all we know,

this could be heat
activated by the fire.

- Can, can I hold it?
Can I see it closer?
- Oh, no, no, no, n--

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Too valuable.

Now, if you wanna
talk more or see more,

you know where to find me.

So long, neighbors.

Oh, my God.

Oh, he left his,
he left his flask.

- Unbelievable.
- There's some good stuff
in here.

Man, what the fuck
was that all about?

I don't know.
That was amazing, though.

I'm talking about you, man.

Y-- you went against everything
we talked about for tonight.

Okay, even if we never see
that guy again,

wasn't that way more interesting

than sitting
next to each other in silence?

That guy was
a bona fide charlatan
preying on what to him

looked like two bozos
looking to get strung along
on some bullshit adventure, man.

- Yeah, but the foil,
you saw the foil.
- The foil,

the foil doesn't prove
anything, dude.

Think about it, man.
If that foil is
what he says it is,

then why isn't it in a museum?

Why isn't he
a millionaire right now

with this great discovery?

It's because he's
a fucking snake oil salesman,

and he camps out here
looking for campers like us
coming to this vortex,

'cause he knows we might be
into this kind of shit.

It's-- honestly,
it's an incredible setup
when you think about it.

When I think about it,
I think you're just too scared

to recognize
an opportunity like that.

I mean, that thing just
literally fell into our laps,

and you just wanna write it off?

We're not even
on the same page anymore.

We're not reading
the same book even.

You know, speaking of books...

- Dude! Dude! What the fuck?
- ...let's see what kind of--
let's see...

- Fuck you, man! No!
- ...let's see what kind
of brilliant ideas--

- Give me that fucking thing.
- Let's see what kind
of brilliant ideas

- you're working on here.
- Dude, please don't.

That's intellectual property.

- That is my shit.
- Ooh! Lot of blank pages here.

'Cause I just fucking started.

I got shit cooking!

You know what, why am I here?

Why did you wanna come
on this trip with me?

So I could sit
next to you in silence

while you try to come up
with a movie pitch?

- What the hell is that?
- Just give it back, man.

No, no, no.
I thought we could start
right where we left off.

Okay?

But now that we're out here,
it's clear that you just want me

to step aside
so you can live in your,

in your fantasy world
in your notebook,

your blank notebook.

I mean, wake up, man!

You have made one film
in the past decade,

and it's a goddamn porno.

You know, when I saw you back
in Bakersfield, I was thrilled.

I was thrilled
'cause I thought maybe,

maybe you were ready
to move on from Hollywood.

- You think I should move on?
- Yeah.

You're the one
that's been working
oil rigs on and off

since you dropped out
of high school, man.

- You think that's moving on?
- Yeah.

That's honest work, okay?

I'm actually doing something.

From where I stand, man,
it feels like you're the one

that lives in a fantasy world
in your notebook

where you have old men
coming in with scraps of foil

and UFO stories whisking you off

on a white pony
of fucking answers

about your questions,
leaving me here

to deal with my real world shit.

I guess you--
you don't believe my story?

No.
I don't believe your story.

And honestly, it makes me feel
like sometimes I can't trust you
with anything at all.

Much less my movie ideas.

Okay.

I'm sorry.
That's not entirely what I mean.

You know what? You're right.
That guy, he's probably--

Yeah, that guy's
probably full of shit.

- Dude, I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't--
- No. No, no. No.

I'm sorry.

- Alright? I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, man.

No, shut up. I'm sorry.

- Fine. You be sorry.
- Alright? I'm sorry
I commandeered the evening.

- Okay, man.
- I commandeered it.
I got a little excited there.

- Yeah, you did.
- And look, if you wanna spend
tomorrow com--

committed to your ideas,
God knows you need to get
some pen to paper here.

I respect that. Alright? I do.

Wow. Okay.

You hear that?
That's me apologizing.

- Yeah. I'm shocked.
I'm shocked.
- Yeah.

I want you to savor it.

Soak it in. In fact,
let's drink to it.

Let's take one big rip
right now.

Alright, man.

'Cause tomorrow
we're gonna be silent.

Just like two monks
on a monk farm.

- Alright?
- Yeah.

Alright, man.

Get yourself one.
- Mm.

Yeah, that's the good stuff.

Ooh, wow.

That's a belly burner.

Hey, tomorrow's a new day.

- Alright?
- Okay.

- New day, new dawn, huh?
- Yep.

- Comprende?
- Comprende.

Oh.

What are you doing?

What-- what?

You can't leave
the campfire unattended.

- Okay? Rule number one.
- Oh.

That's-- that's rule one. Okay.

- Alright, so we, we pee on it?
- Kick it.

- Kick it. Go.
- Oh, you kick it.
You kick it. Okay, great.

So it's like, "Alright,
Coach, show us what you can do.

Make a move."
We pass him the rock.

He goes up for a layup,
but not just a regular layup.

He goes for the MJ '91 Finals,

up and under and then bam!

He just eats it,
just lands flat on his ass,
shatters his femur.

They almost had to amputate
the leg, the poor bastard.

They didn't, but it was close.

- It was a little dicey there
for a while.
- Morning, you two.

Oh, morning, sneaky man.

Rex, uh,
what did we say last night?

Well, hey, I just thought
I would come back for my flask,

and, uh, bring along
some coffee and greetings.

Yeah, we were just talking.
We thought maybe Tom borrows me

for a little while this morning
while you're waking up.

- Borrows you?
- Yeah. I mean,
he's just real confident

that there's some more
foil scraps in the area,

- an-- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. W--

You, you should see
the readings I've been getting

on my metal detector.

Dex, look,
we'll be back soon, comprende?

Nope. It's fine.

Have fun.

I'm sorry.

Listen, Dex,

I know what we talked
about last night, alright?

But if we find something
out there, I think
you're gonna be the one

apologizing to me
for doubting this stuff,

all this stuff.

I mean, this could change
our lives, man.

I'm not gonna pass that up.

You're not gonna find
anything out there, man.

It's a fool's errand.

You know,
I just realized something.

I drove you out here.

I set up your camp.

I lit your fire.

You don't need me.

You just wanna work
on your pitch, right?

Can't trust me with your ideas?
Think I'm some big liar?

Fine. Why don't you just go
sit over there,

close your eyes
and pretend I'm next to you?

And I'll see you later.

See you later, dude.

Let's go.

Oh, man.
So you really think there's
some foil scraps around here?

Oh, yeah. There's a ton.

Wow. Nice-looking trailer.

She's all I need.

Why don't you have a seat?

Get comfy.
I'm gonna get some gear.

Now, you said
you were getting gear.

Hmm. Did I say "gear"?

- I meant beer.
- Okay.

Alright, you devil.

Hey, it's
five o'clock somewhere.

Okay, look, one beer, and then
we go start digging, right?

- Absolutely.
- Okay, I'll drink to that.

- Salud.
- Salud.

Why... won't... you... light?

Flint.

Oh, my God.

He wouldn't.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God.

Daryl fucking Hannah.

Where's the flint?

Man, there's nothing
like a quality cerveza.

I was afraid you were gonna have
some kind of Belgian
banana bullshit.

I hate bananas.

- I like you, Tex.
- Rex.

Yeah. You ought to be
proud of yourself.

You made a commitment
for the work.

Looking for the truth,

asking questions,
trying to find answers.
Most people don't do that.

Most people are just
sleepwalkers in a strange land.

Most people aren't even
where they are.

Like, take your friend there,
Mr. Wet Blanket.

He's trapped. Trapped up here.

Dexter, he'll be fine.

Where the fuck is it?

Where the fuck is
the fucking flint, God damn it!

Fuck!

You fucking asshole.

Cougar?

- Is there a cougar?
- No, human.

Just a human.

- Hi.
- You okay?

Oh, God.

Yeah. No, I'm good. Um--

How long have you
been standing there?

There's a climbing spot
over there.

I was gonna go climb it.

Oh, cool.

You alright?

Yeah, man, I'm, I'm fine.

I'm just trying to light my fire
but I can't find the, you know--

- Flint!
- Yeah.

- I got you covered.
- Cool.

Whoa. Hey, man, that's
a pretty nice camping knife.

- My buddy's got one like that.
- Actually, it's a hunting knife.

I knew those were for hunt--
Wha-- What do you hunt
with that?

Name it.

Whoa. God, that--

That's awesome, man.
Thank you. Thank you.

The name's Rambo.

Cool, dude. My name's Dexter.

If you don't mind me asking,
what that tent do to you?

Oh, it's just
this boneheaded guy
that I came out here with.

Kind of ditched me, actually.

He went running off
with this old man

looking for, like, UFO scraps

or some nonsense, I don't know.

I guess he thought
that sounded more fun

than hanging out with me.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yeah.

Well, um, glad I could help.

I hope it works out
with your, uh, your pal.

Me, too, man. I just
don't think it will, you know.

Because... [scoffs] we had
this whole plan for the weekend,

and he just went
completely rogue on it,
you know?

It's like, he's always
gotta do stuff his way,
you know what I mean?

He's never checking in
on where I'm at.

Like, he doesn't know
I got evicted, for one.

Or that
they repo'd my car,

or that I don't have a job
at the moment,

and I'm living at my mom's.

He's just not the boss.
Do you know what I mean?

Dexter? He's just
not the boss of me, you know?

Like, he just wants
to do things his way

without even thinking
about where I'm at.
You know what I mean?

If you hadn't come along,
I'd probably still be over there

sitting in silence, meditating.

How am I supposed
to catch up with a buddy
who won't even talk to me?

I mean, you know he wanted to do
a silent treatment?

- Silent retreat?
- Who is he to say
how I spend my time out here?

- You know, I'm a grown-ass man.
- Indeed you are.

So if I wanna drink,
that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna drink.
I wanna investigate
a potential UFO crash,

well, God damn it,
that's what I'm gonna do.

Amen.

You know, the thing I think
about your friend there,

Mr. Wet Blanket, he's just--

- he's uncomfortable
with discomfort.
- Yes.

I mean, we're comfortable,
but we're also comfortable
with discomfort.

- Oh, out of beer.
- Out of beer?

Okay, now I'm uncomfortable.

I have something else.
One moment.

Oh, woo-hoo.

I have
this notebook here, right?

And I'm using it in part,

to write down these ideas
for a big meeting next week.

But that's
not all that I'm doing.

- Huh?
- Mm.

See, I need
to move in somewhere,

and...
my options right now
are either living at my mom's.

- Oh, gross.
- Mm-mm, yeah.

Or I ask Rex
if I can move in with him.

Rex, uh, the runaway?

Right. Yeah. The guy
whose tent that is, yeah.

And, and, and honestly,
it's, it's a toughie.

Uh...
'cause I'm listing out
all the pros and cons here.

And I just--
I can't find an answer.

Uh, I don't know. Like,
what-- what do you think?

Uh-- it looks
like the coffee's ready.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

But, you know, like,
when I think about it
moving in with Rex

would be, like,
Midnight Run or something,

where he's just this outlaw type
who doesn't listen to me.

And the longer we're together,
the more we're
doing stuff his way...

which makes me
go crazy. Although,
when you think about it,

he's definitely
much more of a De Niro
and I'm more of a Grodin,

- so that would put me
in the outlaw thing.
- Wait a minute.

Wha-- what if Cameron moved in
with Ferris Bueller?

Wait a minute.
Are you a movie guy?

Yes, I'm a movie guy.
I'm a filmmaker, dude.

Oh, my God. You don't know
how long I've been waiting

to talk to somebody new
about movies.
This is incredible.

- I'm actually
a little bit of a...
- Seriously?

...I'm in a film
study club myself.

Well, okay, sir.
Why don't you let her rip?

- Okay, uh, top three
favorite sci-fis, go.
- Ooh.

So the foil, who else
should be told about it?

- Who knows about this?
- Oh, I haven't told
that many people.

But you've told some people?

Aren't you worried they're
gonna say something about it?

No, no,
I'm pretty confident they won't.

Yeah, I mean, people
don't really believe that stuff
when you tell them anyway.

At least in my experience.

You've had an experience?

Spring break, '86.

Me and the basketball team,
five of us, Dexter included,
went out camping.

Last night of the trip,
it's getting pretty late.

We see these lights
in the woods.

So the other guys,
they scramble.

They figure park ranger
coming in to bust us

for drinking or whatever.
But I figure I'll go in.

Let me talk to this guy.

So I go in to check it out.
And pretty soon,

as I get closer, I realize
this is not a park ranger.

- And it's not a truck.
- Not a truck.

It was a cylinder.

Pretty good size,
maybe not much bigger
than your trailer here.

But what was weird was
it didn't have any doors.

It didn't have
any markings on it.

It didn't have any exhaust.

It didn't make any noise.
It was dead silent.

When I touched it,

the whole thing lit up
and it whips 20 feet in the air

and this blue light just...
shoots right down on top of me

and it was
like time just stopped.

But, you know, in that moment,
I didn't feel any fear.

I felt, like, totally at peace.

I, I can't explain it,
but I felt like I was...

...communicating with someone.

Somehow I,
I understood them and I knew...

...I knew
that they understood me.

And then it was gone.

When I got back to camp,
everybody had left.

But what I didn't know
at the time...

...was that 24 hours had passed.

I felt like
I was gone 15 minutes.

It was the next night.

Shit.

Well, they didn't believe me.

They still don't.
Dexter doesn't.

They just thought I got drunk
and lost or whatever.

That's that.

I appreciate
you telling me that.

Sounds like you got off easy,
though, you know?

Some people, some people,
they have scars to show.

- What did you say?
- Like, in their side,
they, they have scars.

Does that look like
a park ranger to you?

Y-- you can't have Tremors
on your sci-fi list, man.

That's crazy. That's strictly
a monster movie entry.

Where in that movie
is there a lick of science?

- The worms are aliens.
- No, no, no.

- They never say
that they're aliens. In fact...
- Yeah!

...I would pitch
that they're hyper-evolved
terrestrial beings!

The main actress girl,
she's studying seismotology
at the time, in the town.

- That's science.
No. No, not Reba.
- Reba? Reba?

- The young, nerdy, uh, the lo--
the love interest one...
- Oh!

- Yes. Okay. Yes, yes.
- ...remember her? Remember?
That's science.

But, but the whol--
all of that could be removed
from the movie

- and it could still stand.
- No, well, uh...
I mean, well,

it rounds out my top three. So
you gotta take it or leave it.

- Alright, fair enough, man.
- Fucking great movie.

Actually, you know,
the one idea that I have
kind of gotten down so far

that might be something
I would say is
pretty Tremors adjacent.

- Mm. What have you got?
- Why don't
you take a look at that?

Take a look.
Let me know what you think.

And just give it to me
straight, alright?

-"Big bugs"? That's all it says.
- Yeah.

Right. Need to say more?

There's a lot of big bug movies.

But none as simple as this.

So it's a movie about big bugs.

- And are they fighting off
people or--
- No. No fighting,

no bad guys, no monsters.
We are among the bugs.

They're big to us on the screen.

We're in the field
in that community,

you know, like, uh, like,
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
without the kids.

I'm not gonna lie to you.

I mean, this idea is just...

What?

...this is the best fucking idea
I've ever heard of in my life!

- What? Yes!
- Big bugs? This is perfect.

- Big bugs! Oh, my God.
- Big bugs! Big bugs.

♪ I like big bugs
and I cannot lie ♪

Oh, shit. That's your title.

- Oh, my God, it is. Holy crap.
- That is your title. Yes.

- 'Cause what I like to do is
come up with the title first...
- Yeah.

...the marquee,
and then figure out, like,
how can this be a movie?

- Right? That's
how you sell a movie.
- That's genius.

- You-- [cross-talk] Okay.
- A-- and this one will sell.
This will sell.

This is incredible.
'Cause I have a meeting Monday,

this pitch meeting, and I--
I-- should I lead with this?

Oh, yeah, you gotta lead
with it, it will kill.

God, that's such great news,
man, that's a load off.

Except, uh, sorry, I don't think
you'll be able to make
your meeting Monday, though.

- What?
- Your meeting Monday.
You're not gonna make it.

What the hell?

Look, it's not your fault.

- Get back!
- I like you. You're a nice guy.

Oh, God! Hot!

God, my knife!

Damn it, I wanted to do this
the easy way, kid.

But I guess
we'll have to go to plan B.

Oh, your Bronco keys.

- Yeah, good luck with that.
- Is that our--

Shotgun!
Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker.

- Die Hard?
- This will all
be over soon.

No! No! No, it won't! Killer!

- Or you can do that.
- There's a killer!

Another runner.

See you in a bit, kid.

Rex?

Where the hell am I?

He's got a gun, hello?

Why is it snowing?

Hello?

Rex?

Tom?

God damn it, Rex!

I hate this fucking vortex!

God!

So Dexter doesn't exactly know
why I came out here.

To drink fine bourbon
with the locals, obviously.

Yeah, sure. Yeah, to drink--
it is, it is good bourbon.

But I mean, like, this spot,
like, this exact spot.

Old Dale?

When I touched the craft...

...I got these numbers
in my head.

These, like, numbers.

- Numbers?
- Just like burned into my head.

Memorized them, wrote 'em out.

And for the longest time,
I didn't know what they meant.

So I went to the library.
I said, "Alright,

you're gonna do some research."

So I studied codes,
ciphers, puzzles,

crosswords, ciphers,

the Zodiac letter,

trying to understand...

...these ones and zeros.

Binary code.

Yeah, you know it.

Let me show you something.

Oh, no, no. Hang on.
Hang on. Stay right there.

This is messy in here. Hang on.

Binary codes correspond...

...directly to--

Yeah, latitude and longitude.
Yeah. Yeah!

And once I figured that out,
I knew it was leading me

- right to...
- ...this exact location
geographically!

Oh, my God, it's true.
That's crazy.

Not as crazy as you might think.

You're meant to be here.

There's something
very special inside you.

Thanks, man. That means a lot.

No, literally...

...there's something
inside you, the scar.

What?

You remember that piece of foil
that I showed you earlier?

Yeah.

Well, you have one inside you.

What are you talking about?

How do you think I got mine?

Holy shit. You have one too?

Yeah.

Except I took mine out.
I extracted it.

You took it out?

I have the tools
to do yours too.

We could do it this afternoon.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I, I'm not drunk enough

for you to do some kind
of a half-ass surgery.

Did you just make that up
about the crash?

Crash is as real as that bourbon
that you're sipping on
right now.

That vortex,

it's like a big homing beacon
or something.

You and I are not
the only implanted folks that
have been drawn to this site.

There's others?

Many others.

Hello?

You know, Rex,

most people...

...they don't have the courage

or the gumption
to face their trauma.

But not you.

You're different.

What we know about this foil
is that the closer we are

to the coordinates,
the more active it becomes.

Now, remember last night
at the campsite?

Look at it now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't touch it.

Don't touch it,
just watch it. Watch.

You can feel it
right now, can't you?

- Yeah, I feel it.
- From the moment

that it's been implanted in you,

it's been adding
all kinds of stuff,

stuff that you don't want.

Sadness,

hurt, depression...

...drinking.

You got this weird friend...

...that talks shit
about you and--

what's all that about?

Do you feel it?

I feel it.

You know what I feel?

I feel like
I'm looking at myself.

I was like you.

An impositional personality,
a sleepwalker.

I didn't know who I was.

And then I extracted.

And then I...

...began to see things clearly.
All those feelings,

they just melted away.

I became...

...unburdened.

Whatever this foil is,

we weren't meant to take it on.

Not by ourselves.

It's too heavy.

It's too much weight.

This foil is holding
you back, Rex.

So...

...do you believe
I can help you?

Are you ready
to let me help you?

I t-- I told you,
I'm not drunk enough for you
to go digging around for it.

Well, come on.
Let's keep drinking, then.
We gotta get you there.

I'll tell you what.

We'll do a little trial run
first, alright?

Let's at least run some tests,

just to make sure you're ready.

Okay.

Alright then.

Hello!

Mm-hmm.

You done?

What the fuck is going on?

So, uh, are you, like,
gonna kill me now or--

So, Tremors. I--
I really think you need
to take another look at it.

Really? Fucking really?

You s-- you wanna talk
more about Tremors?

Yes, I was making valid points.

What do you wanna do?
Go back to whining
about your friend?

Big bugs?

I mean...
there's not a lot here, man.

It's just killer bats,
big bugs, big waves.

Everything is fucking "big"
and "killer" with you, huh?

There's
some good stuff in there.

Look.

You want my advice?

- Dude!
- Fuck that. Fuck big bugs.

You know,
if you weren't dying today,

I'd say go out
and make something

that you actually
fucking care about,

not something
you think you could sell.

Why the fuck can't I run away

from this campsite, huh?
Did you drug me?

You drugged me, didn't you?
You put something
in my coff-- Okay.

Okay. Hey. Hey, hey. Look, look.

Wha-- what do you want?
D-- do you want,

you want my keys? You want
my wallet? You can have them.

You don't have
anything to offer me.

Let me t-- You don't have
one shell of a good idea
in your fucking head.

N-- not one original thought.
Which is a shame,

'cause I thought you had
something, but you don't.

Okay, well, well,
maybe we could write
something together.

You know, just sit down,
talk, help me out, uh--
we, we could collaborate!

I'm afraid not, man.
Once the old man says
you're gone, you're gone.

- Old man?
- You know, you blame
all your failures

on your friend,
on your car, your eviction.

- Shut up.
- It's never your fault, is it?

- Shut up.
- No, you shut up!

You know, I'm fucking sick
of people like you,

calling yourself an artist,
when you're just a fucking hack.

- You should jump off that cliff.
- Fuck you!

Damn it, Rambo. You really need
to tie better knots.

Valiant effort, kid.
I'll make it quick.

Oh, God.

- Just do it, man.
- Happy to oblige.

What the--

Watering Holes? How do you know
about Watering Holes?

How do you know
about Watering Holes?

There's no way
you know about this movie.

I wrote and directed it, okay?

- Bullshit, the director is--
- Dusty Peter!

- Yeah, that's me!
- But you said
your name was Dexter.

Yes, but I use Dusty
as a pseudonym
for projects of ill repute.

What about the DP?

There weren't any DP scenes
in Watering Holes.

No, the director of photography
of Watering Holes. Who is it?

Oh, oh, th-- Harry Rod,
also a pseudonym.

Producers?

Uh, Amber Clam,

Dick Nob and,
and me, Dusty Peter.

Last line of the film.

Is this really necessary?

Last line!

"Well, the holes,
they are watered,

but now we've made landfall."

"I guess the desert's
not so dry after all."

Oh, my God. You did make
Watering Holes!
This is amazing.

Let me help you.
Yeah, let's get you up.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You have no idea
how much that movie means to me.

- I've seen it a hundred,
thousands of times, man.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- Oh, well, I guess
I'm just glad to meet someone

- that finally gets it.
- Yeah! Man!

Th-- Jesus. I'm so sorry
if I hurt you. You okay?

Let's, let-- let's get you cozy.
Let's have you sit down
and have a seat.

That sounds nice.

- Take my rock. Take my rock.
- Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah, man, I--
I've had a bad day, you know.

I-- I mean, you tried
to kill me, uh, twice,

and then it was, like, snowing,
and then it wasn't snowing, and,

and then I, I just--
Maybe you could just tell me
what's going on, you know?

Dude!

Come on! Answer the question.

It's about your friend,
the cowboy,

the one with the scar
on his side.

He, he had his appendix out.
How do you know about that?

Well, he's got a piece of foil
in him and Tom wants it.

- Okay. Tom? Oh, Tom!
- Here.

- Yeah.
- From last--
I'm not hungry, man"

- Oh, okay. I--
You need your strength!
- Tom from last night?

Is that what
you're talking about?

- That foil?
- Yeah.

You just sit down
and you tell me what's going on.

What does this mean?
That, that you'r-- you're
Tom's muscle or something?

Okay, here's the deal.
Every once in a while,
somebody comes along

with a piece of foil inside
of them, and Tom can sense it.

Then he lures them
to the trailer.

That's when it's my job
to neutralize the threat

of anybody
that's not the target.

- Me.
- So then Tom
goes to work on them.

- Goes to work?
- Yeah, like right now,

he's probably
delivering some speech

about the high powers
of the universe,

brainwashing him
while he drinks him blind.

And pretty soon, your buddy Rex
will be so hammered

that the idea
of Tom operating on him

won't be
such a bad idea after all.

So we need to go
before he drinks him
under the table.

Actually, man,
if that's really
what's happening,

- I think we got some time.
- Well, how do you mean?

Well, in all the years
I've known him,
I've learned one thing.

You can't drink Rex
under the table.

Are you ready to, uh,

become the captain
of your own ship?

- Yeah.
- Alright.

- You got a flashlight?
- No.

- You got water?
- Uh, I got this jug.

- One jug for the whole weekend?
- Wh-- hold on, man.

Why should I believe
a single thing that
you've said to me so far, huh?

Uh, old magical men with,
with implants of foil?

I mean, a second ago,
you were just gonna kill me!

How do I know
you're not some crazy tourist

on a bad mushroom trip
or something?

And if any of this is real,

why aren't we off
calling the police right now?

Have you checked
your watch lately?

No, I don't have a watch.

- What about a radio?
- No.

- Walkie-talkie?
- Uh, no!

Jesus, kid,
what kind of camper are you?

- What about a compass?
- I-- Yeah, I do have a compass.

- Okay. Where? Where's that?
- Uh.

- Look in that sock.
- Why would it be in your s--
Oh, yeah. Here it is.

- Yeah.
- Try getting out of here
with that, Jeremiah Johnson.

- Oh, my-- Whoa!
- Yeah. You'll never
get out of here,

no matter how hard you try,
it's all scrambled.

- The vortex.
- No, it's not the vortex,
you idiot. It's him!

He's causing projections
in your mind

of whatever he wants,
wherever he wants.

But it drains him, so he's gotta
be sneaky about it.

- Things you won't expect.
- Oh, my God.

Well, well, if this
mind projection stuff
is a thing that's happening,

who's to say
he's not doing other stuff

- like that to us right now?
- Exactly.

- Who's to say?
- Right. Who is to say?

Yeah. Who is to say?

- Who is?
- Who is? Right.

- Who is?
- Who-- Are you saying?

No.

Alright, my friend,

you are about to experience

a new level of transformation

you have never
experienced before.

I am so excited for you.

How do you feel?

Oh, oh, hang on,
hang on. Let me, uh--

let me take care
of that for you.

- How do you feel?
- I feel...

...feel-- I gotta pee.

- I gotta pee--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
hang on, hang on.

Whoa, whoa. Hang on, hang on.
Hang-- Whoa, whoa.

Where are you going?

Where's your bathroom at?
I gotta pee.

Uh--

What the hell?

Now, that was a cougar.

Yes, they, uh, they do tend

to come around these parts
quite often.

Uh, this usually
scares them away.

Okay.

- What the-- Wh--
Wasn't the door right there?
- Oh!

Look at you, all turned around.
Um, actually, the door is
on the other side,

uh, but, uh, you're not gonna be
able to use the toilet because
it's on the fritz right now.

But thankfully,
nature's just one giant toilet.

So have at it.

Okay, coug-whisperer.

Okay, so here's the plan.
This is the campsite here,

- your tent, your buddy's.
You go past the boneyard.
- Mm-hmm.

Go through the ridgeline here.

We don't wanna go over there
because this is a, a nail trap.

- It could really,
severely hurt you.
- Okay. Right.

- And then what's this?
- Oh, this is a really
pretty family of snakes,

- but they're really mean,
so we don't wanna go that way.
- Okay.

So we walk through
the ridgeline here,

and, uh, we get
up here to the lookout.

This is the, uh, the trailer.
I'm the shotgun.

- You're the nail polish.
- Wait,
why am I the nail polish?

Well, because
I'm the shotgun shell.

Why didn't he just
kill us both last night

and take the foil then?
Why is he playing

- all these mind games?
- Uh, 'cause the subject needs

to be alive when he,
uh, takes the foil out

or else it's no good.
It's a very delicate process.

Why don't I come over
and sort of post up here,

and that way we have
two vantage points on Tom?

No, no, no, no, no, no.
You need to stay with me

because Tom trusts me
and I don't get scrambled.

You'll be scrambled over here.

Got it.
Okay, but it sounds like
regardless of what we do,

we just need to take out Tom
before he can harvest
and then kill all of us,

- right? We gotta kill Tom.
- What are you talking about?

We can't just go in there
guns blazing.

What are yo--
You've seen Platoon, right?

- It's a disaster.
This is what we're gonna do.
- Okay.

We're just gonna talk to him.

- Got it. Okay.
- That's what we gotta do.
We just talk to him first.

You know what?
If we can't shoot him,

then, by golly,

- we can shoot him!
- What the hell is that?
Is that a Polaroid?

It's a MiniDV.
It's, it's digital,
straight out of Japan.

- A Mini TV. Good God,
that's amazing.
- Isn't that cool?

And so I'm thinking
at least we can just film
what's happening to Rex here

to gather evidence,
you know, if not for the,

you know, science community,
at least for the authorities.

- Right? Proof.
- Right. Right. So when they find
our dead bodies,

boom, proof is there
in the pudding.

Let's go. Let's get out of here.

- Huh.
- We gotta go!

Okay.

Hey, man, uh, you probably
shouldn't be leaving
these fires unattended.

You know, you never know
what could happen. Uh--

should probably
just kick this out.
You just keep going.

I got it.

Don't worry about it.

What in the hell are you doing?

Well, the magnets are drawing
the foil to the surface

in the most delicate
and least invasive way possible.

- Right. Like magnetic.
Tectonic. Yeah.
- Yes, exactly.

I do believe you are primed
and ready, my friend.

Alright.

All my gear is clean and safe.

Freaking wild.

You ready, my friend?

How about one more shot?

One more shot? You finished
my beer, my whiskey.

You drunk me dry, sailor.

No problemo.

I brought
a little something myself.

What is that?

If I said it's aged ten years,
would that mean anything to you?

Hey.

Come on.

Let's, uh, let's drink.

- Let's drink, uh,
to the foil. Right?
- Alright.

Mm.

Whoo, that's good.

Uh-uh. There you go. Big one.

Big rip. Big rip.

- Oh! To the foil!
- To the foil!

- Alright.
- Yes, sir.

Alright, let's get
on the table, boy.
Let's get cracking.

So how did you get
into this whole mess with Tom?

Well, a long time ago,
years ago,

I came out with a buddy
to go camping just like you.

My buddy had the foil in him.

Tom harvested him, killed him,
and he would've killed me too,

if I didn't convince him
that I would help him find more.

So what do you get out of it?

I get to live. That's it.

Huh. Whoa.
So you're like Silver Surfer?

- Yeah.
- And he's like Galactus.

- Yeah.
- Huh.

- But you both live together.
- Yeah, we're roommates.

You know, in the beginning,
all we did was hunt for foil.

But it was like
a constant rat wheel
of waiting and killing.

Waiting and killing.
Waiting and--

Killing.

After a couple of kills,
you just got so numb to it.

What do you think?

Oh, yeah.

Check this out.

Things got really bad.

We lost ourselves.

I mean, it got to the point
where I couldn't even remember

what life was like
before the killing.

I was actually
pooping in the sink

- and peeing in the tub.
- What?

I had to convince Tom
that we needed something
to pass the time.

Boo!

Something to connect us
to humanity.

We needed movies.

So to Blockbuster we went.

- The film study group.
- Yeah.

Those were the days.
Whatever we wanted,

we just took it, watched it,
studied the hell out of it.

Wow. So you just stole
all the tapes?

Well, yeah, but I didn't
feel bad about it

because it wasn't
a mom and pop shop.

I would never do that.
It was a Blockbuster.

- They'd be fine.
- Right. Absolutely.

So we started with the Oscars.

Then we moved on
into the classics.

And then the Blockbuster hits,
you know?

- Right. Like Rambo?
- What?

Oh, no, no.
Like the Stallone Rambo.

- Tremors?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, those were my go to

when I would talk
to strangers at first.

- Yeah.
- But around this time,
Tom's taste and mine

- started to drift apart.
- Huh.

He was all about
the performances, you know?

'Cause she got a great ass!

He thought if he studied those,
he could unlock the key
to talking to strangers

- in any situation.
He was a machine.
- Whoa.

But for me, the more
I watched these movies,

the more I realized
these weren't real at all.

I went the other direction.
I started looking

at the un-movieness moments
in movies.

And that's when I found it,

the Holy Grail...

...Watering Holes.

In no movie ever
have I been more convinced

that there is no acting
going on at all,

- whatsoever.
- Yeah. That feels
a little bit unfai-- Hey, wait.

Does that mean you found
a copy of Watering Holes
in a Blockbuster?

Well, it wasn't on the shelf.

It was in, uh, the back,
in the manager's room.

I think it was part
of his private stash
or something.

But I'm telling you, man,
like, the constant looks
to the camera,

the, the overlapping of lines,
the forgetting of lines,
the, the crew in every frame.

- Right.
- I think I heard
three actors fart

- in three separate scenes, man.
It's incredible.
- Yeah. Yeah. We had

a really bad lactose intolerance
incident on the film.

That's-- yeah. Yeah,
I get it. Okay, I get it.

The movie is un-movie.
I get that.

No, no, no, but tha--
but it's real,

and those are
real fucking people

fucking
in those hot springs, man.

And it's revolutionary.

Wow. Revolutionary?

- Yeah, I'm telling you.
- Thanks, man. That,

in a weird way,
that means a lot.

No, I mean, well,
the movie sucks still, but it--

that doesn't mean
it's not important, you know?

Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, dude, thank you.

Thank you, man. Seriously,
it's just an honor
to hang out with you.

You know,
man, given all the stuff
you're looking for in movies,

I have to ask,
have you not heard
of a documentary?

A, a what?

Alright, easy now. Easy.

For your vitals.

Alright, I'm just gonna grab
my instruments.

You're doing great! You're
doing great...

Whoa. Wha-- are you sure
we can't just go back

and take one more shot?

So I take it
that shotgunning Tom is just
fully off the table, yeah?

I'm not gonna shoot
my roommate, dude.

- I told you this already. No.
- Fine.

I mean, I've never
shot a gun in my life,

- so there's no way I'm doing it.
- Yeah. Right.

So I think
we're pretty locked in
on just talking to him?

Yeah, just, we'll just
go there and figure it out.

What? You don't know
what you wanna say? Y--
you're gonna wing it?

Yeah, I just--
I don't know. I'll just go.

Stay in the moment,
act natural, you know?
What's the problem?

I'm just saying we should have
some kind of a plan, man.

Well, you've known him
for ten minutes,
I've known him forever.

Yeah, you know what?

You're right. You know Tom
better than anybody.

In fact, one could even say that
you could stroke that ego a bit

- if you wanted to.
- What do you mean?

What I mean to say is you could
push the right buttons,

turn the right gears. I mean,

I could even go as far
as to say that you could

butter him up,
if you know what I mean.

Butter him u--
No. What do you mean?

You know, like, butter him up?

Oh, oh, you're talking
Watering Holes, scene six,

- when Trent tries to coax
Gwyneth into skinny dipping...
- Skinny dipping.

- Back door spring. Yes!
- ...in the back door spring. Yes.

You could do that to Tom.

He, he puts
that body butter on so thick,

she has no choice
but to wash it all off,

and, and he'll listen to you,
he'll listen
to everything you say

because he's
so utterly buttered.

I mean, if it's the only way,
I guess I could
butter his ass up.

Yeah. So that he'll listen.

Well, okay, great. Uh,
do you have a stick of butter?

- That's what you use for this?
The tarp?
- Oh!

Oh, it's for the mess.

The mess. Uh, okay.
Do you wash that ever? Or--

- Multiuse. Very sterile.
- Uh-huh.

Uh, this helmet is
a little tight,
little bit of a headache going.

Is that normal? Or is that--

Whoa!

Whoa!

You know, day drinking
will do that to you.

Wow.

Alright. Stay low.

It's right up here.

Oh, yeah, there they are.
Whoa, what are you doing?

- What? I'm filming.
- You gonna film?

- Yeah.
- Can I maybe do
the director thing?

'Cause I've never
done that before.
I've always wanted to do it.

- Oh, yeah.
Okay, sure. That's cool.
- Yeah? That would be great.

- Yeah, we could
do a little thing--
- That's fun. Oh, yeah,

maybe we do, like,
an intro thing of me,

like, saying
what's gonna happen.

Okay, you are looking beautiful.

And go time.

Hi. Hi. Hello.

- My name is Dexter Wiggins--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Wait a minute.
"Hi. Hi. Hello."
- What?

- You're right. I'm sorry.
- That is so unreal.

- I'm nervous. Okay.
- Do it real
because you might die,

and you want people to know
you're a real person.

- Got it.
- Okay, hold on.
Alright. And go time.

Hi. My name is Dexter Wiggins,
and it is Sunday,
October 26th, 1997.

And we are documenting
my findings here tonight
in case something of criminal

or scientific significance
happens within this tape.

With that said, I think
it's time that we film. Yeah?

Can you say
something about me, though?
You know, like, put me in it?

- Like a credit?
- A credit! Yeah.
I want a credit!

Okay. Fine, fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine, fine.

Uh, filming with me today
is an associate by the name of--

Rambo! Name's Rambo.
I'm here to kick ass
and take names. And focus...

Cool. Cool. He's doing
the zooms. That's fun.

- Yep.
That's what he's doing.
- Okay.

And he's helping me rescue
my cohort, Rex O'Bannion,

from what seems to be
a potentially dangerous stranger.

- And now I am taking the camera.
- Okay.

Here we go.

Oh, my God.
He's already on the table!

Yeah. He's been here
the whole time,

- just laying there.
- What? You could've told me!

- He could cut into him
at any minute!
- Yeah,

- I know he's in a lot of danger!
- Jesus Christ.

Okay, I gotta get a frame,
and we gotta get in there.

- Frame. I love that.
- Okay.

What the--

- What the hell?
- What? What, cougar?

What?

Oh, shit! Fuck!
Look. Look through the camera!

- Do you see it?
- Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah!

What is this camera?
It sees right
through his projections.

It's a MiniDV, man. Wait.
Projections? Did you know?

What's going on, man?
I'm ready for extraction.

Who's out there?

Oh, God. Our cover's blown.

- We gotta go.
- No. No. No.

Did you-- you lied to me,
didn't you? Did you lie?

Show yourself!

- Yeah. So I might have lied.
- How fucking dare you, man?

I mean, I'll explain later.
We gotta go.

I-- do the butter thing, remember?

You know what?
Fuck this.

What are you doing?

I just found my stick of butter.

Get moving.

God damn it.

Ahoy there!

It is I,

Dexter!

Is that Wet Blanket?

Hey, Dex!

Welcome to the party, pal!

Some pretty cool stuff
is going on here, man.

Rambo, what are you doing here?
Wh-- what's going on?

Uh, funny thing, T.

You had
a very specific assignment!

Yeah, I know, change of plans.

No! No, we don't
change plans, ever!

But this is the guy
that made Watering Holes.

Watery Holes?

The Watery Hole!

Yeah, you know,
the movie I love so much

- with the butter
and the hot springs?
- What?

Th-- the porno with the farting?

- Yeah.
- You directed that smut?

You're goddamn right I did!

Oh, T, uh, Dexter has
this camera thing,
this Mini RV from Japan,

and it, uh it can see
through your projections,
we saw everything.

- Everything?
- Yeah.

So, Rambo,
why don't you take you ropes
over there and tie everybody up?

We're gonna have ourselves
a little experiment.

What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?

Just hear him out, Tom. Alright?

Thank you very much, Rambo,
now why don't you come back?

Okay.

- And turn around. Yeah.
- What?

What the hell?

Okay.

Well, I'm already tied up.

You can't tie me up anymore.

Ow, ow, ow.

Dexter, chill out, man.

Alright, we're in the middle
of something here.

- You don't know everything.
- You don't know everything.

You remember in the Bronco,
man, when you asked me,
what would you do if we saw one?

Yeah, that's
what I'm talking about, man.

We're making contact.

I got the coordinates
in my head.

I got the foil in my hip.

You don't get it, Rex,
you've already made contact.

The alien is sitting
right there.

It's Tom,
and my camera proves it.

You're just jealous that I found
something cool out here,

and you got bored
with your silent treatment

so you're coming over here
to ruin my fun!

No, man, he causes projections
and I can show you man,

I have the footage.

Oh, what footage?

- Look, look.
- 'Cause is gonna be great.

Let me just bring up playback.

- Hey, Mom!
- Get your butt in here.

- Come check this out--
- Uh, not this part.

This part's not important.
Hold on.

Come on!

No wonder
you can't make it in Hollywood.

He could cut into him
at any minute.

Straight out of Japan. I can't--

Uh-huh! Uh!

Okay. Okay. Ha! Right here.

- Boom!
- Oh, my God.

Look. See? See?
Your tentacles and all, Tom.

I just got drunk with an alien.

That's your reaction?

- I just got drunk with an alien!
- He's trying
to kill you, man!

What the hell
is this helmet doing to him?

Enough of this.
We are doing my test.

- This should be fun.
- Alright.

To prove to you guys
that I am not an alien,

I'm gonna film myself, okay?

Huh? You see me? Am I an alien?

- No.
- Okay.

Now, Rex, even though
sometimes I have my doubts.

I'm hot-blooded.
Check it and see.

- Yeah.
- Human.

- Human.
- Human.

That just leaves you, Rambo.

You know me, you know my story!

You don't have to do this.

I think you should,
you know, film him.

I think you'll be surprised.

The results may be otherworldly.

Oh, "otherworldly."
Yeah, right. Yeah.

This is ridiculous.

Is it ridiculous?
Is it as ridiculous

as some guy hanging out
with an alien in an Airstream
for how many years?

Killing on command?

Rambo,

are you an, an alien?

Why don't you film him
and find out?

Okay.

Boo!

You tie
worse knots than Rambo.

What? There's two of him!

Untie him.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Alright.
Alright. Alright.

Sorry. He's free.
He's free. He's free.

Rambo, will you get up
and help me, God damn it?

No, I'm not.
I'm human. I'm staying.

You know, all this talk
about freedom and...

...home? I mean,

what is home even? Where is it?

Where are you from?

- The scar?
- What scar?

The scar under your bandana.

Do you have any idea
how you got that?

Do I have a scar?

Yeah.

Big Daddy.

When we crashed...

...you came to and you...

...you, you insisted
that you were a human.

And this was your projection.

This was it. This was all
that you projected since then.

Some Dennis Hopper knockoff.
I tried to tell you,

every day I tried to tell you
the truth about who you are.

And every morning, no,
it's like, "I'm a human.

I'm Rambo," but, you know,
pretty soon I just gave up.

I just let you run with it.
But not now. Not tonight.

Tonight is when
you face the truth.

This is not your home.

It never was.

Tonight, we're going back!

Come on, Rambo.

- I'll tell you everything.
- Whoa.

Check it out.
The trailer door's back!

- Hey, man, you alright?
Your ropes too tight?
- No! Don't touch him!

Sorry! Sorry!

Listen, I've done the math.

This guy's got enough foil
in him to get us home.

I'm not going with you, Tom,
I don't care what the truth is.

There's nothing for you here.

You know who you are.

Okay, well, if I am an alien,

then where are our people?

Why haven't they contacted us?
Why aren't they coming for us?

We have been crashed
for 60 years. Back home,

that's six days, right?

I don't wanna wait here
for another 600 years

for some stealth extractor
to find us.

- 600? What the--
- Yes!

You know the policy
of headquarters.

Right? "A downed ship..."

"...never was."

Right.

The point is, this guy,

he is our ticket out of here.

All we got to do
is keep him conscious

and download
the coordinates home.

- Coordinates?
- Yes, they embedded it,

the binary code,
in his subconscious.

- The helmet?
- Yes.

I thought your helmet
was all bullshit.

No, it's not bullshit.
It's been downloading

since you got here.
We're gonna get everything

that we need to go home.

Hey, Dex...

...if I don't make it
out of here,

there's something
I want you to have.

- Okay, man. Yeah.
- Alright.
Are you listening?

- Yeah. What is it?
- In my wallet there is a coupon.

That coupon is a rent one,
get one free at Kling-On Video.

I want you to take it.

I want you to use it.

I want you to save it
for a special night.

- Alright?
- Okay.

Uh, look, man, how about, uh,

how about
I do you one better, huh? Uh,

- when we get out of here...
- Okay.

...can I sleep on your couch?

- What?
- Yeah.

What are you talking about?

You're going back
to Hollywood on Monday.

No, man. I got evicted.

I don't live there anymore.

And as for Monday...

...that meeting
was never official.

I just knew a secretary
that could get me
in the building.

Outside of a Hail Mary,

come Monday,
I'm gonna be out on my ass.

♪ Come Monday
it'll be alright ♪

♪ Come Monday, I'll-- ♪

- Ow.
- Ooh, ooh. Easy, big buddy.

I need you.

We need each other.
We can't do this alone.

Please, let's go home.

Get back in there.

Tom?

Oh.

And welcome back.
Thanks for the sidebar.

What was that sound?

Congratulations.

You're the first camper
that's been dumb enough

to keep that helmet on
this long,

at least without
getting killed or,
uh, keeling over.

Yeah, well, you don't drink Rex
under the table.

And you don't strap him
to one either.

- Yes!
- Hey, is that my--

Your knife from the campsite?
You're damn right!

What are you doing?
Giving them knives, shotguns?

- Whose side are you on?
- I don't know!

I can't shoot him,
I'll nick the foil!

Dex, you know what to do.

Hell, yeah. Rex-Dex Superflex!

- Hey, hey, hey!
- Go! Go for it!

Go, Rex, go!

I'm free, Dex.

We could go all the...

Ooh!

...way.

What happened?

Oh, shit. Rex.

Oh, just kill me.

Looks like you found
your burial site a little
early there, huh, cowboy?

Here, come here,
let me help you up.

Whoa.

Yeah. I've been doing
some day drinking.

But I'll tell you what,

when you see an alien on tape,

that'll sober you up real quick.

So here's the deal.

There is no way y'all are
getting me back on that table.

This is a camping-- it's a,
it's a hunting knife.

Rex, what are you gonna do?

I could throw it.

Chances are I'll hit one of you.

And at this point,
I don't care who.

I guess no one ever told him,

you're not supposed
to bring a banana

to a gunfight.

Ugh! Banana! Ugh!

God! Ugh!

He projected that
into your mind, man.

That was a perfectly good knife
you just threw away.

No! No! That was a banana!
I hate bananas.

You really do
hate bananas.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay, because I got this.

What?

No, no, no! God!

Bananas!

Hey, cowboy.

You got anything else
under there

you wanna share with us?
Any more knives?

Uh, slingshot?
Pea shooter, maybe?

Didn't think so.
Alright, Rambo, go get him.

- Okay.
- Hey. No, no, no, no.

Rambo, don't, don't.
Don't do this, man.

Remember what
we talked about all day,
how you wanted to save us,

- you know, Watering Holes?
You gotta do the right thing!
- Yeah. I know. I know.

But I, I just wanna
go home, like, wher--
wherever that is, you know?

But, uh, I mean,
I did make a deal with them.

I told them that they
could go free, and, you know,
I would like to stick to that.

You know, like, like butter.

- Step into my office.
- Uh, one second.

Okay.

Butter? Bananas?

What the hell is this,
a farmer's market?

What are you, baking bread?

Why can't you
just hold onto a banana?

- Who is this clown?
- He is an ally, okay?

We'll be light-years away before
these kids even get out of here.

- Rambo.
- Please!

Tom, please, please.

Alright.

If we can take off,
they can live.

Yes?

Oh, my God, you're the best.
Let's go tell them.

Okay,

here's the deal. Um,

we're gonna let you guys go,
but we gotta get
the foil out of his hip,

- and then that's it,
we'll let you go.
- Oh.

- No. No deal.
- How about this?

Do you swear on Watering Holes
that we get to live?

Yeah, I swear
on Watering Holes. I, I--
I swear on Dusty Peter's life.

- That's my life!
- Dex, do something!

- Ten minutes. Operating table.
Let's go. Chop, chop.
- Dex--

It's the only deal
on the table, man.

- We gotta take it.
- No. No table, no deal.

It's a little dark down there,

but it's about
to get pretty bright up here.

- Where is that from?
- I wrote it. It's mine.

Whoa!

The gortex--

Alright. Here we go.
Let's get to work.

Alright.

You alright, buddy?

Oh, man.

Wow.

- What is it?
- I'm not good with, uh--

- You're not good with, uh--
- You know, the, uh--

- Blood?
- Yeah.

Was that the sound
of a wet blanket
hitting the dirt?

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, hey, man.

He did it.

He did it.

- Did he do it?
- Oh, yeah.

- Oh! He did it.
- Oh, God.

Oh! He did it.

But you're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay, man.

Also, dude, check it out.

Oh, my God.

The foil is fuel, man.
That's why Tom wants it so bad.

That's why
he's been harvesting it.

The foil is fuel.

Yeah.

I mean, honestly, the amount

that you were correct
about all of this
is mind boggling.

I told you,
wasn't a park ranger.

Oh, my!

My baby is up and running.

I haven't heard her purr
like that in decades!

Well, we held up
our end of the bargain,
right, so are we free to go?

- That's the deal.
- Well, here's the thing.

- The thing?
- The thing?

What thing?

Now, I don't wanna be "terse,"

is it, Dexter? But,
um, you boys being here

after we go,

or I go,

is not gonna sit well
with our people.

- What?
- You see, the thing is,

about us kind of folks,

is that we like
to avoid detection.

After all
you two have seen today,

it kind of makes you loose ends.

I don't like loose ends.

I can't believe
what I'm hearing!

Tom, we had a deal.

No, I had to deal with you!

- Right.
- Which is why
I'm still gonna offer you

a space in my ship

on one condition.

What?

You, you, you betrayed me.

- No.
- Yes.

But, despite your treachery,

you're still one of my own.

- Thank you.
- You're like family to me.

- I've been nothing
but loyal to you.
- True.

So start showing
some loyalty back.

What do you--

Blast these two
and let's get out of here.

If you don't,
I'll blast all three of you,

and then I'll leave.
Or maybe I'll blast--

Say "blast" one more time!

It's gonna be a blast!

Oh, don't get cute
with me, Rambo.

You... [echoing] don't have
enough shells for all of me.

Fuck! What do we do?

Only one of these
is the real one, right?

Just pick one and shoot.

That's not a gamble
he's willing to take, son.

Fuck.

I'm sorry, kid.

Rambo, don't do this.

Ticktock, Rambo.

"Well, the holes,
they are watered...

...but now we've made landfall."

"I guess the desert
is not so dry after all."

- Wait, no!
- Blast him!

Bring it!

Oh, nicely done, Rambo.

Alright.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Ooh!

Ooh. Oh, my.

It has been a day!

Ooh.

Oh, those frontal lobes
are throbbing.

Oh, hey! Almost forgot.

Alright!

Let's get on home!

So long, neighbors!

Ooh!

Ooh.

Think I'd better shut this.

Oh, yes, yes!

Coordinates acquired. Route set.

Oh.

Second star from the right,
straight on until morning.

I'm not gonna be able
to forgive myself.

Those were good kids, man.

What are you doing?

Whoa, you hear that?

Did you hear what I said?
We fucked up, man.

We fucked up.

Oh, absolutely.

I mean, we are fucked up.

What does that button do?

What, ar-- are you fucked up?

- Ooh.
- Oh, God. You're fucked up.

- Oh!
- You're fucked up!

Ooh. Ooh, did you feel that?

- Did you feel that?
- Oh, my God, you're fucked up.

Buckle up, buttercup.

Let's hit it!

Hang on!

Tom! Fly, fly straight, Tom!

Get it together, man!

Get it together, man!

- Pull up!
- Dude!

Pull up! Pull up!

- Dude! Fuck!
- Pull up! Pull up!

Oh, shit. Rex. Rex!

Rex! Rex! Rex!

Holy-- Rex!

Oh, thank God.

- Oh, he shot us, man.
- Yeah.

Oh, he fucking shot us!

He did.

- Well, then why aren't we--
- Dead?

The birdshot.
Remember what I told you?

"Enough to ruin your day..."

"...not enough to kill"!

Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, shit.

Did they--

Dude,
I think they crashed!

Did you piss
in their gas tank or something?

Don't make me laugh.
Don't make me laugh.

Tom and I,

we, uh,

we drank the mushrooms.

You drank the mushrooms?

I sprinkled them in my flask
when you weren't looking.

You goddamn degenerate!

And they're just
hitting you both now?

Yeah. I guess
they are still good.

Fuck me, dude.

I told you to leave
that shit in the car.

Yeah, well,

you told me a lot of things.

Yeah. Yeah, I did.

- Give me a hand.
- Come on, get up.

- Oh, man.
- Oh, no. Your camera,
they smashed it.

- Oh, yeah. No. No, no.
That's dead, baby.
- Get the tape. Get the tape out.

But that footage--
that footage you shot.

It's fine. It's fine.

It's a story we can always tell.
Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it.

Think anybody will believe it?

I sure as shit wouldn't.

Let's get out of here.

Yeah, let me check something.

Phew! Yeah. Think
we're good to walk home.

So, you know where we're going?

Let's just head west.

I'm pretty sure that's east.

Yeah, man.

Hey, but hey, when we get there,

yes.

Yes what?

You can crash on my couch.

But no silent treatments.

Comprende?

Comprende.

Alright. Let's get out of here.

The Bronco is this way, right?

I don't think
you're gonna be driving it.

- What?
- Rambo gutted it
when he took your shotgun.

Damn it. Well,
looks like I need a job again.

- You know anybody that's hiring?
- You know,
there's actually an opening

- at Kling-On Video right now.
- Really?

Do you have an in?
Can you introduce me?

That depends. Do you play D&D?

- TNT? What?
- Dungeons & Dragons.

They play it every Monday
and on full moons.

Tuesdays are Tekken Tuesdays.