Original subtitles

The Bread of Those Early Years

He said he was going to the station.

To which station? - Don't know, it could be any of them.

He said he was going to the station.

But he didn't want to go.

He wanted to go to Kurve St. first.

The woman had called three times already.

Plus the three calls from yesterday.

One from Flink's laundry service and two more he wanted to finish.

I told him he couldn't do it all.

He had to be at the station by 11.

And he left?

No, he shaved first.

Meanwhile the woman from Kurve St. called again about the broken washer.

He promised her he'd be right over.

So, he went there too?

I assume he did, and then to the station. He surely wasn't at Flink's laundromat.

To which station did he go?

I don't know.

He just said he needed to drive to the station.

And after that he left?

Correct.

I reminded him again about the woman with the broken washer.

I assume that's where he went.

He hasn't come back.

No word from him either.

He left everything here.

I picked up his room and made his bed.

He left everything here.

I don't understand.

He hasn't come back.

No idea where he might be.

He's disappeared without a trace.

Did you two quarrel?

Maybe he had an accident?

An accident?

Yes, it's an accident.

First name: Walter

Walter Fendrich, 24 years old.

A refugee from the East.

Refugee ID: C, came over in '56.

Like many others at the time.

Has a decent job today at Weckweber's electrical supplies shop.

He's supposed to marry the owner's daughter.

Her name is Ulla.

That jerk.

That ungrateful jerk.

Nothing has happened to him.

After all that I've done for him.

I've given him everything.

He had the best opportunities with us.

We had a plan, we discussed it all.

What else does he want?

Where will he find it?

We kept no secrets from each other.

Everything had been planned ahead.

Our wedding in the fall.

I suspected something.

No, I didn't.

Later, I wondered

how it all would've turned out, if I hadn't met Hedwig at the station.

I would have stepped into another life, the way one jumps on the wrong train.

This false life waited for me like the train on the other side of the platform.

I see myself in this new life standing around, smiling, talking.

As if I had a twin brother.

In this new life, I buy and sell.

I hold my kids in my arms.

I go for walks, on trips, give speeches at company parties.

I shake hands, go to the movies, visit with friends.

I open doors, keep a diary, I record everything.

In a dream, this life seems quite acceptable.

Agreements, plans, goals.

Nothing unexpected ever happened.

I flipped through the future like a photo album.

Our wedding, honeymoon, vacations, anniversaries.

Do you still remember?

Do you still remember

the waiter in Italy who tried to cheat us?

How our tyre blew up on a curve on the Brenner Pass?

How I started to get fat from all the butter you'd use for breakfast?

Nothing, I know nothing.

I know nothing about this future

that will never become the present.

I don't see myself, don't hear myself.

I don't smile, don't talk, don't go to the movies or to any people, don't open doors.

Nothing.

I know nothing.

He had everything he needed.

His car and bank savings for the future.

He wanted to be independent, start his own business.

I don't understand.

We wanted to get married in the fall.

[radio: weather forecast]

The radio was on; the phone rang non-stop.

Like every Monday morning: his busiest day.

It all seemed normal.

The frantic phone calls, he ate breakfast, he shaved.

And then he went to the woman with the broken washer in Kurve St.

She seemed desperate.

She even cried on the phone.

He mentioned the train station.

That he needed to pick up someone around noon.

I didn't ask whom

Nor from which station.

A female caller - who didn't sound like a customer.

I should've known.

To disappear without a trace.

He was in Kurve St. from 9:15 to 10 am.

And in Linden Alley sometime around 11.

No trace of him since then.

No phone call.

No sign of life.

And the phone keeps ringing in the office.

Everyone is asking for him.

A female caller - who didn't sound like a customer.

The phone rang non-stop.

Like every Monday morning.

His busiest time.

Everything was as always.

Phone calls from agitated housewives, he ate breakfast, shaved

and went to Kurve St. first.

I should've known.

By way he looked at me .. at us sometimes.

As if he had always hated me .. us.

I should've known.

But I didn't know.

In the six years this has never happened.

Not once.

He's never failed anyone.

He definitely went to the train station.

It's unusual of him, but I'm sure he went there.

But I don't know to which one.

Nor when exactly.

Nor who he was picking up.

I yelled to him from the window that the woman from Kurve St. had called again.

Yes, to the train station.

Around noon, as I said earlier.

If the female caller was why he went to the station?

I don't know.

I doubt it.

He didn't seem at all excited that he had to go.

Like I said, she wasn't a customer.

He went to the station.

But there are many stations.

And those I searched were all empty.

He was here on Monday at 11.

My washer kept breaking down.

So I called him several times.

He finally came by and fixed the washer.

But it broke down again.

That made me furious.

I had to do a lot of laundry.

I called him again.

And he came.

He quickly fixed the washer again.

He asked to be paid again.

He gave me the receipt, the amount seemed too high.

So I paid twice for the same thing.

That I don't know.

No, he packed up his tools and left.

I am surprised that he hasn't come by yet.

I didn't like going to the station to meet the girl.

Mondays are my worst days.

But father's letter seemed unusually urgent.

It was delivered express.

I couldn't refuse his pedantic courtesy.

Remember that Muller's daughter Hedwig

is arriving by train on Monday at 11:47 am.

Be nice, pick her up

and take her to the room you found for her.

Remember to get her flowers and to be pleasant.

Try to imagine how she must be feeling.

She is arriving alone in a city

which is completely new to her.

Bear in mind she is only 20.

Grew up in a small town.

Could you take her out to lunch?

Remember those young girls are hungry all the time.

It's too bad you no longer keep up your regular Sunday visits.

Too bad.

I forgot the flowers.

And I couldn't picture the girl either.

I last saw her seven years ago.

When she was hardly 13.

She played in the dark garden with empty flower pots.

Her blonde hair braids.

Scrawny looking and shy.

Can you tell me how to get to Rubens St.?

Get in.

Do we need to talk?

Yes, we do.

Can I help you?

Can you tell me how to get to Rubens St.?

Rubens St.?

Of course, Rubens St.!

Follow me.

This face sank deeply into me, penetrating through and through.

Like a die striking wax.

And for a moment, I had a crazy desire to destroy it.

The way an artist destroys the plate after only one print.

Maybe his car broke down?

Can't you dispatch someone else?

Of course! I'll send my son right away.

You mean something might have happened to him?

What can possibly happen to him?

I am losing my best customer, if the laundry isn't done by tonight.

He doesn't seem to care.

How dare he disappear like that!?

And today of all days.

What's going on with Fendrich?

He just splits and doesn't tell anyone!?

He can't just split.

Please, leave now.

Do you like flowers?

Yes.

Go now.

You need to put the flowers in a vase.

I know.

Or they'll wilt.

Please leave now.

Over there is a vase.

Should I fetch it?

Yes, please give me the vase.

Leave.

Leave right now.

OK, I'm leaving.

Please leave.

Don't you like flowers?

Yes, but you should leave.

Over there is a vase.

Leave right away.

Mr. Fendrich! Just in time.

One of the washers overheated. An employee made a mistake.

Unplug it.

Can't you take a look at least? - No, I can't take a look!

But you're standing right here. - I am not here to look at your washers.

Unbelievable!

You are here and you refuse to look at the washer.

There you are.

Here I am.

What's with you?

Nothing.

You don't want to talk.

No, I don't.

Is it true that you are after a girl?

That's true. I am after a girl.

What is going on? Why did you upset Mrs. Flink so much?

You've got to help me find her. Please come with me.

It overheated. I kept calling but no one would come by.

Did you check the filters? - Yes, I cleaned them, but that didn't help.

I'll lose my best customer.

If the laundry isn't ready by this evening.

Unscrew the hoses!

Have they been repairing the water main?

Yes, they tore up Krombacher Lane.

That's where we get our water from.

The water is all rusty and dirty.

Let it run until it's clear.

Reconnect the hoses and everything'll be OK.

You won't lose your best customer.

The laundry'll be ready by the evening.

Wolf will keep an eye on the washers.

Who is it?

Is Ms.Muller not there?

She left five minutes ago.

Where did she go?

No idea.

Come again?

I couldn't believe what he said. He is here and refuses to look at the washer.

And now all of my washers overheated.

I'll lose my best customer.

I'll lose them if I don't deliver clean bedsheets before the evening.

What's wrong with him anyway?

He looked confused. I've never seen him like that.

He was always so kind and helpful.

And reliable, too.

My employees claim he's after a girl.

Someone tell me what's going on with Fendrich.

Get him over here right away!

He can't just split like that.

She called saying you are standing at the corner.

Staring at a building

and refusing to look at the washers.

I drove here right away.

Let's have a drink.

Two cokes.

Not a bad place, what?

No, not at all.

I just have to look at you and I can tell something is wrong.

And what do you think is wrong with me? - You look like a dead man.

I can tell you're checked out for the day.

Father is furious. The phone kept ringing all day long.

You couldn't be reached at any number.

Don't push him too far.

You know, he takes his business very seriously.

Yes, I know that.

My God, you don't have to eat dry bread.

No, I don't have to.

It's impossible to talk to you.

True, it's impossible to talk to me. Why don't you leave?

Hopefully by tomorrow you'll be back to normal.

By the way, the deal came through.

Didn't Ulla tell you about the Tritonia contract?

Yes, she did.

We got the contract this morning.

We are very happy about it.

I hope you'll have come to you senses before we start the work on Friday.

What should I tell father anyway?

He hasn't been this mad at you since that last stupid case.

Since what case?

Here, that's for the last case.

Two marks twenty-five was the price of the hot plates I stole.

Give the money to your father.

That was almost six years ago.

But you all haven't forgotten it.

I'm glad you reminded me.

I'm sorry, I mentioned it.

But you did mention it!

Here, take the money and give it to your father.

Take it back. You can't do that. - Why not?

I stole back then, and now I am paying for what I stole.

Do I owe anything else?

Give me back the money.

I can mail it your father. - I'm sorry.

Never mind, you better go now.

What do I tell father?

Why? Did he send you?

No, but I know he's furious and he'll keep trying to reach you.

I don't know yet what's going to happen.

You really don't know?

No, I really don't.

Is it true what Mrs. Flink is saying: that you are after a girl?

Yes, that's true.

I am after a girl.

You shouldn't be left alone with all that money.

To the contrary!

And please stop asking me what you should tell your father.

Go now!

Get in!

Do we need to talk? - Yes, we do!

I knew it.

I know him too well.

I know what's best for him.

Working

going out

having fun in life.

Some money, music

TV, dancing, movies.

He might have a mistress later.

Fine.

I know how life goes.

He deserves a new car, too. He's worked hard.

Maybe it's about time to let him loose a little.

He's worked really hard.

Always reliable, always on time

and the customers love him.

Will we vacation together?

Completely relax for once.

Forget everything.

It was hard to build up the business.

He contributed a lot to it.

Maybe we should make him a partner.

Before we get married.

Before.

He can be so stubborn.

Manipulative.

And completely unpredictable.

I watch sometimes how he interacts with other girls.

I expect he'll have a mistress.

He is after a girl.

But, that he...

An agreement is an agreement. We've got to stick to our plans.

We do foolish things at the wrong time.

I can't imagine this is serious.

I know him too well.

And I know what's best for him.

There is your car. Go get it quickly.

I'll wait here.

I'll hurry up.

Everything OK? - Yes.

I'll just stop at Mrs. Flink's to apologise.

Yes, do that. I'll wait for you at Café Joos.

Back then you had braids.

And looked scrawny.

When was that?

Seven years ago, just before I left home.

I see, back then I still had braids and was anaemic.

This morning I was looking for a girl like that.

Not realising you had already been waiting.

But not for long, I had just put down my bag when you arrived.

I recognised you right away, but hesitated to speak to you.

Why?

Because you looked so angry, so adultlike and prominent.

I am afraid of prominent people.

What were you thinking? - I thought you'd changed.

In the photo your father keeps you look much different.

Do you know my father? - Of course.

I was his student.

After my wife passed away, I wrote frequently to my son.

I said, I'd come visit him one day.

But I never made the trip to the city.

I never saw how he lived.

He'd tell me about it during his visits.

In those years, I wrote to him frequently.

Each letter was longer and longer.

I said I'd come visit him, but I never did.

And he lived alone in the city for seven years.

I suggested he change his apprenticeship

and look for one in Knochta.

But he wanted to stay there.

He was getting used to it.

On our way home I tried to get father to stop at Fundahl's the baker.

Just to say hello and in passing ask for a loaf of bread.

As we walked home through silent dark streets

I would recite the entire conversation father was to have with Fundahl.

So as to make our visit look unintended.

Father shook his head vigorously

because Fundahl's son was in his class.

And because he was a bad student.

Father, it's Mr.Fendrich.

I observed father's expression.

Always a serene and proud face.

Never showing a trace of how hard it had been for him.

We would stop at Fundahl's every Sunday.

For a loaf of bread.

Until this Sunday.

Father, it's Mr.Fendrich.

Father waited in silence.

I hid behind him.

Fundahl himself appeared at the door

and I could tell from his face he wasn't going to give us any bread.

He said he could only give bread in exchange for ration coupons.

And even then, there is no more bread on Sunday evenings.

I looked at my father again.

His face was the same as ever when he said:

"I had to give his son an F yesterday."

I couldn't adjust to the present.

My advice was of no use.

I didn't know the value of things anymore, and wondered if I had ever known it.

Normally, you'd promote old values over those of today.

But I couldn't commit to that kind of self-deception.

I chose instead to live with the present.

Rather than dream of the times gone by.

The past, like the present, didn't belong to me.

You can't park here. It might cost you twenty marks.

Never mind the car.

We don't have much time. Come on.

Nonsense! Give me the key. There's a space over there now.

How come your last name is Muller and not Mueller?

It's a frustrating story.

Why?

My grandfather had a lot of money.

He felt the name Mueller was too common.

So he paid to have the two dots removed.

I am furious with him.

Why?

I wish I had that money now.

I'd rather be called Mueller

and be able to feed myself.

I don't quite understand.

That you'd do things that bear no financial gain.

Or has she got money?

No, she's got no money.

But she knows that I once stole.

Wolf has just reminded me about it.

Well, I am glad he did.

You've become such a snob, you are beginning to forget

that you once stole hot plates to buy cigarettes.

And bread!

The bread that you and your father never gave me.

Only Wolf sometimes gave me some.

You jerk, you ungrateful jerk!

Everything she did suited her.

The way she moved and spoke.

She was herself. With a look that suited her.

I asked her when we could meet tonight.

She said, she needed to visit one of her father's relatives.

She is a type of woman who is always right.

Always able to recognise things for what they are.

She said, I look like someone who wants to seduce her.

You are right, I said.

I want to seduce you.

I know, she said.

Her face was an open book.

What she said, how she moved and spoke.

I wanted to see it over and over again.

And hear her voice repeatedly.

I said, don't go to people who you don't want to see.

And she said she wouldn't.

I said, I hesitate to go where I need to be now.

To tell the woman I'd promised to marry that I can't do it.

She said, does it depend on me if you tell her today or not.

No, I said. It depends on me.

I've got to tell her, no matter what.

Then go and tell her, she said.

I said, I'd go and tell her.

We will meet again at 7.

What will you do?

I promised to send postcards home.

I didn't like parting from her.

Why did I have to go meet Ulla now?

I couldn't bring myself to say the obvious.

I was jealous of the table where she'll write the postcards.

Suddenly, I felt like I'd seen, heard, and smelled all this countless times before.

This pervasive smell of coffee, sweat, perfume, liquor, and cigarettes.

That what Ulla said, that what I said.

It's all been said before.

And none of it was right.

Every word sounded false.

I should've known.

Long time ago already.

As I watched you flirt with the women at the factory.

For a while it was one of the armature-winders, an ugly little thing.

She was rachitic and her sick face was covered in acne.

I even kissed her and took her to the movies.

Two coffees, right?

No, not for me. - But I'll take one, please.

A coffee for you, and for you sir?

Anything will do.

Bring Mr.Fendrich a peppermint tea.

We are out of peppermint, we only have black tea.

Fine, black tea will do.

You wasted two minutes moving the car.

Why didn't you just leave it where it was?

I wouldn't mind paying the fine

just to have two more minutes to talk to you.

I would have given you those two minutes as a farewell present.

Like two pretty flowers.

But you didn't want them.

For me those two minutes were worth the twenty mark fine.

You've turned into a real gentleman.

Giving away flowers at ten marks apiece.

Yes, it seemed worth it, since we've never given each other anything.

Never, have we? - No, we never have.

Gifts have to be earned. - And when we went out

we always asked for receipts.

For taxes.

One for the firm and one for me. - And why not do it?

You are right, why not do it?

Dammit, put your watch away at least.

I don't quite understand.

That you'd do things that bear no financial gain.

Or has she got money?

No, she's got no money.

But she knows that I once stole.

Wolf has just reminded me about it.

I am glad he did.

You've become such a snob, you are beginning to forget

that you once stole hot plates to buy cigarettes.

And bread!

The bread that you and your father never gave me.

Only Wolf sometimes gave me some.

You jerk, you ungrateful jerk!

I don't quite understand.

Tell me at least what it is.

I don't know.

I just can't tell you, Ulla.

Is it that girl?

Yes, it's the girl.

And more than just her.

I don't understand.

Me neither. But that's the way it is.

She eats

her bread when I'm hungry.

I was always hungry.

But you don't know

what hunger means.

You don't know what bread means.

I used to steal books from my father because I was so hungry.

Books he loved and collected.

Books he'd gone hungry for as a student.

I simply stole and sold them.

I picked those books at random, choosing them only for their size.

He had so many, I thought he'd never notice.

And then one day he did.

He knew it all along.

He later sold the books himself and sent me the money.

To buy bread.

Do you understand? To buy bread?

Go ahead, hit me if you want.

Throw the tea in my face.

Talk and go on talking.

But please stop saying the word 'bread'.

I can't bear to hear it anymore!

What am I supposed to do about it?

No, I don't know what hunger is like.

Ulla, I... - Go ahead, I'll stay here.

Can I drive you home?

No, I'll stay here for a while.

Just go.

Give me your hand.

I've often watched his hands.

The way they held the tools.

The way he reassembled appliances he knew nothing about.

And assembled them again.

You could tell he was born for this job.

And that he loved doing it.

And that it was better to let him earn his own bread.

Than just to hand it to him.

No, we've never given each other gifts.

I was taught

that gifts had to be earned.

And I never felt he had earned any.

But I don't seem to have earned any either.

He's never given me a gift.

But he might be right.

I've realised it only today, just now

that money isn't important to me.

I wouldn't mind handing him a blank check.

With my bank statement.

And he could take out as much money as he wants.

I wouldn't hurt me.

And I've always thought it would.

He might be right.

But it's too late now.

I am hungry.

Could we go eat somewhere?

Yes, I'll get you something.

I'll get something from there.

Two hot dogs, please.

How much? - 1,20.

Add some more mustard, please.

Goodbye.

I almost went with him. - But you didn't go.

If he had waited longer.

But he didn't have the patience.

People have so little time.

He wanted to marry me.

He would've divorced first.

He told me he had two kids.

He was nice.

But ran away when he saw you approaching.

Take me home.

Do you want to stay here?

We can't go up to my room.

Hilde Kamenz is there waiting for me.

She is a friend of my father.

The light is on in my room.

Her car is parked right there.

She's got a nice apartment, too.

Let's go to your place!

She shouldn't see me.

What a day!

I stopped taking messages for you.

It seemed pointless since you'd disappeared.

How could you forget that poor lady in Kurve St.?

Did you remember the flowers?

No, I forgot.

Your supper is in the kitchen.

Thanks.

Go ahead, say it!

I don't want the girl spending the night here.

Did you see her?

No.

But I heard you two.

It was so quiet and suddenly I knew.

Will she stay with you?

Yes.

She is my wife.

Where did you two get married?

Look, you know I hate saying this

but I can't tolerate such things.

And I must tell you, not only tell you:

it's impossible, I...

There are emergency marriages like there are emergency baptisms.

Come on now, don't joke.

We're not in the desert, nor in the wilderness

where there are no priests.

Us two...

us two are in the desert and in the wilderness, too.

And I see no priest anywhere who would marry us.

Or do you know of one?

No, I don't.

This is Mrs. Brotig, and this is Hedwig.

Sometimes I forget how young you still are.

But you must leave now.

Don't make me throw her out.

Now, go.

And that was the last time you saw them?

You didn't hear from them since?

You have no clue where they went?

Thanks.

Only one more minute and I would've gone with him.

I don't how much longer he had to wait.

But he didn't wait long enough.

He wanted to marry me.

He was going to get divorced.

And he had kids and was nice.

But he ran away when he saw you approaching.

He stood next to me only for a minute.

Whispering hurriedly.

Like people who don't have much time.

One minute.

Only one minute.

He had so little time.

And I lived a whole life in that one minute.

I fell into his arms.

And out of his arms again.

I bore his children.

I mended his socks.

When he came home in the evening I took his briefcase.

And kissed him when

the door had closed behind him.

We had a little celebration when he got a raise.

We had cake and went to the movies.

And he bought me a new hat.

He did with me what you wanted to do with me.

And I liked his clumsy caresses.

I watched him change his suits frequently.

And the children grew up.

He just had to wait a bit longer.

But he didn't.

He ran away.

He ran away into the darkness.

When he saw you approaching.

Just one more minute.

He had to wait just one more minute.

Just one minute.

//subtitles created for surrealmoviez. info// Edited by Bagpus