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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,522 --> 00:00:38,938 If you had a choice, - 2 00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:43,313 - would you rather love a girl, or have her love you? 3 00:00:43,813 --> 00:00:48,147 - I want it mutual. - If you couldn't have that. 4 00:00:48,522 --> 00:00:52,813 Would I rather be the one who loves, or is loved? 5 00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:57,938 It's not an easy question. I think I'd rather be in love. 6 00:00:58,397 --> 00:01:04,022 Me, too. I wouldn't want to get hurt, though. 7 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:10,189 - You were in love with Gloria. - I was starting to be. 8 00:01:10,689 --> 00:01:15,189 Then she let me feel her up on the first date. Turned me right off. 9 00:01:15,605 --> 00:01:19,689 - You kept going with her. - Well, she let me feel her up. 10 00:01:23,397 --> 00:01:27,689 - What about Gwen? - Her I could talk to. 11 00:01:28,106 --> 00:01:34,064 - I never could talk to any girl. - I was getting crazy about her. 12 00:01:34,564 --> 00:01:37,772 But she wouldn't let me lay a hand on her. 13 00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:42,856 - So I went back to Gloria. - You want perfection. 14 00:01:43,272 --> 00:01:48,273 - What do you want? - She just has to be nice. 15 00:01:48,856 --> 00:01:53,356 - Not beautiful? - She doesn't have to be. 16 00:01:53,773 --> 00:01:57,564 - I'd like her built, though. - I want mine sexy. 17 00:01:57,939 --> 00:02:03,648 - She shouldn't look like a tramp. - Sexy doesn't mean like a tramp. 18 00:02:04,148 --> 00:02:08,356 - There's a middle ground. - I would want that. 19 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,940 Tall, very tall... 20 00:02:14,148 --> 00:02:17,231 That would scare me. 21 00:02:18,648 --> 00:02:24,231 She should be very understanding. Start the same sentences together. 22 00:02:24,648 --> 00:02:29,940 - I'd like that. - Big tits... 23 00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:39,315 - Yeah, but still a virgin. - I don't care about that. 24 00:02:39,732 --> 00:02:44,607 I wouldn't mind if she was a little ahead of me, with those big tits. 25 00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:48,523 And knew hundreds of different ways. 26 00:02:50,107 --> 00:02:54,982 I want a companion. The other stuff I can get on the outside. 27 00:02:55,482 --> 00:03:01,982 The first time I do it, I don't want to waste it on some beast. 28 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:07,399 I feel about getting laid the same way I feel about college. 29 00:03:07,774 --> 00:03:10,899 I'm being pressured into it. 30 00:04:10,608 --> 00:04:13,816 - You like that? - Yeah. 31 00:04:14,108 --> 00:04:19,108 I give her to you. I'm a generous guy. 32 00:04:19,525 --> 00:04:24,025 I'm grateful. How do I break the news to her? 33 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:30,192 Go over there. There's a way to talk to girls. 34 00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:39,817 Tell her ajoke. Tell her about your unhappy childhood. 35 00:04:40,317 --> 00:04:44,983 - That's not bad. - But don't make it like an act. 36 00:04:45,483 --> 00:04:48,608 Go ahead. 37 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:54,192 Go ahead, schmuck. If you don't, I will. 38 00:04:54,692 --> 00:04:58,567 You can't even stand up. 39 00:05:50,943 --> 00:05:54,943 - I fucked up. - My turn. 40 00:05:55,318 --> 00:06:00,026 - She's mine, you gave her to me. - You struck out. 41 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,401 I get two more times at bat. 42 00:06:35,193 --> 00:06:39,860 - This is my first college mixer. - I hate them. 43 00:06:40,277 --> 00:06:44,193 - It's so phony. - Everybody puts on an act. 44 00:06:44,568 --> 00:06:50,277 - You don't know who you meet. - Because you're meeting the act. 45 00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:54,860 - I'm not sure I agree. - I don't either. 46 00:06:55,277 --> 00:07:00,569 - You don't agree with yourself? - How do you feel about it? 47 00:07:01,069 --> 00:07:04,944 People like to think they put on an act, but it's really them. 48 00:07:05,235 --> 00:07:11,569 - They think they can change it. - They're kidding themselves? 49 00:07:12,069 --> 00:07:16,861 - It is an act, but the act is them. - Then how can it be an act? 50 00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:22,444 - Because they're an act. - They're also real. So I'm not real? 51 00:07:22,944 --> 00:07:27,527 - I'm an act? - It's all right, so am I. 52 00:07:27,944 --> 00:07:32,027 Don't you behave differently with different people? 53 00:07:32,527 --> 00:07:36,528 - With your family? - I thought you meant people. 54 00:07:36,819 --> 00:07:42,236 - Sure, with my family... - And with friends, another way. 55 00:07:42,819 --> 00:07:48,694 And with your teachers, still another way. So which one is you? 56 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:54,694 - You ought to be a lawyer. - I'm gonna be a lawyer. 57 00:07:55,111 --> 00:07:58,111 A lady lawyer. 58 00:08:08,111 --> 00:08:11,903 You're from Smith, right? 59 00:08:12,403 --> 00:08:16,986 - Do you like it? - Yeah. Do you like Amherst? 60 00:08:17,403 --> 00:08:22,778 Sure. My parents worked very hard to send me. 61 00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:29,987 I'd better like it. Do you have a name? 62 00:08:30,362 --> 00:08:33,778 - Susan. - I'm Sandy. 63 00:08:37,445 --> 00:08:42,862 I think you can make out with her. She's stuff. 64 00:08:43,445 --> 00:08:48,154 - You think so? - I wouldn't kick her out of bed. 65 00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:52,945 - Shouldn't I try somebody else? - Who? 66 00:08:56,529 --> 00:09:02,529 She was the best-looking girl at the mixer. Wasn't she? 67 00:09:03,029 --> 00:09:08,820 - Her tits were too small. - Yeah. The hell with her. 68 00:09:09,237 --> 00:09:15,737 - But her legs were great. - I was standing too close. 69 00:09:16,237 --> 00:09:19,237 I wouldn't kick her out of bed. 70 00:09:25,112 --> 00:09:30,112 - She's got funny ideas. - I wouldn't kick her out of bed. 71 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:38,113 - Don't rush me. - What is it? I like you very much. 72 00:09:40,904 --> 00:09:47,613 It's our third date. You let me kiss you last week. 73 00:09:49,113 --> 00:09:54,904 If I could kiss you once last week, I should kiss you twice tonight. 74 00:09:57,571 --> 00:10:02,863 - You're the only boy I can talk to. - I can't see you being quiet. 75 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,780 If somebody doesn't approve of what you are... 76 00:10:07,196 --> 00:10:11,488 - Whatever that is. - You just don't tell him. 77 00:10:11,863 --> 00:10:15,780 If I want a boy to like me, and I'm brighter than him, - 78 00:10:16,155 --> 00:10:19,572 - I can't show it or I'll lose him. 79 00:10:19,863 --> 00:10:25,238 - I don't want anyone overly bright. - You wouldn't feel threatened. 80 00:10:25,738 --> 00:10:31,155 Not nearly as much as some people. I want to write novels. 81 00:10:31,572 --> 00:10:37,030 Later, when I have something to say. Does that threaten you? 82 00:10:37,530 --> 00:10:40,363 No. 83 00:10:40,655 --> 00:10:43,447 Maybe a little. 84 00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:49,822 Don't press so hard. 85 00:10:52,822 --> 00:10:56,239 It's better when it's gentle. 86 00:10:59,322 --> 00:11:02,030 See? 87 00:11:06,906 --> 00:11:09,822 What are you grinning at? 88 00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:16,197 - Did you feel her up yet? - I don't want to ruin things. 89 00:11:16,614 --> 00:11:20,197 Was I right about kissing her? 90 00:11:20,489 --> 00:11:23,489 - You won? - I don't know. 91 00:11:23,906 --> 00:11:29,197 - You let yourself be pushed around. - You're pushing me around. 92 00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:33,198 I guess I won, she kissed me five times. 93 00:11:33,489 --> 00:11:36,906 That's when you should've put your hand on her tit. 94 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:43,073 - I should do that to her? - She's not doing you a favor. 95 00:11:44,281 --> 00:11:50,489 When a girl lets you kiss her, and feel her up... 96 00:11:50,989 --> 00:11:53,865 Go all the way and all the rest of it... 97 00:11:54,281 --> 00:12:00,156 Isn't it a favor? What's in it for her? She's not getting paid. 98 00:12:02,365 --> 00:12:04,948 Fuck you. 99 00:12:07,073 --> 00:12:09,948 Okay, I'll feel her up. 100 00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:18,032 Please take your hand off my breast. I want you to. 101 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:25,448 - It can't be fun if I don't want it. - I didn't say it was fun. 102 00:12:25,823 --> 00:12:31,532 - Then why is your hand there? - I should be feeling you up by now. 103 00:12:37,032 --> 00:12:41,115 I don't feel that way about you. 104 00:12:43,407 --> 00:12:47,115 I feel that way about you. 105 00:12:55,115 --> 00:12:59,199 Don't you want me to feel something for you, too? 106 00:12:59,615 --> 00:13:04,782 I do like you, but for other reasons. 107 00:13:07,407 --> 00:13:13,782 If we went any further, there wouldn't be those reasons. 108 00:13:14,282 --> 00:13:18,699 - We might have something else. - What? 109 00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:22,199 Something else. 110 00:13:24,282 --> 00:13:28,783 You're the first girl I've ever done that to. 111 00:13:37,574 --> 00:13:41,949 - I didn't know that. - It doesn't show? 112 00:13:47,074 --> 00:13:51,158 It's something we both have to go through. 113 00:14:15,325 --> 00:14:19,033 Susan, are you a virgin? 114 00:14:31,825 --> 00:14:35,700 What do I do with my other hand? 115 00:14:47,284 --> 00:14:51,200 What are you gonna do with your hands? 116 00:14:56,075 --> 00:15:01,784 Then she told me to take my hand off her breast. I said I didn't want to. 117 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:05,701 She said how could it be fun for me if she didn't like it? 118 00:15:06,076 --> 00:15:11,492 I said I thought she liked me. She said, "for other reasons." 119 00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:17,159 I told her I really needed this. That it was my first time. 120 00:15:17,576 --> 00:15:21,451 - What did you say exactly? - I don't remember exactly. 121 00:15:21,951 --> 00:15:25,451 That she was the first girl I ever tried to feel up. 122 00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:31,576 Was that a mistake? Then she got nicer to me. 123 00:15:31,951 --> 00:15:36,451 - She put my hand on her breast. - You mean she left it on. 124 00:15:36,951 --> 00:15:42,534 - She picked it up and put it on. - She took your hand? 125 00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:49,118 - And put it on like this? - Yes. I didn't know what to think. 126 00:15:49,618 --> 00:15:53,826 Suddenly she gets pretty aggressive. 127 00:15:54,243 --> 00:15:58,535 Then I asked if she was a virgin. Was that a mistake? 128 00:16:00,118 --> 00:16:03,410 - Anyhow, she is. - She says. 129 00:16:03,743 --> 00:16:07,118 So you got one or two hands on her tits? 130 00:16:07,535 --> 00:16:12,827 - She put the other hand on the other. - Two hands? 131 00:16:13,202 --> 00:16:18,327 I said, "What are you gonna do with your hands?" 132 00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:25,118 - Then what? - She unzipped my fly. 133 00:16:25,493 --> 00:16:31,285 - Bullshit artist! Then what? - Then she did it. 134 00:16:31,785 --> 00:16:35,077 Did what? 135 00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:40,702 Bullshit artist! She really did that to you? 136 00:16:46,369 --> 00:16:49,285 Is this Susan? 137 00:16:49,577 --> 00:16:53,285 I'm a friend of Sandy's. His roommate. 138 00:16:53,660 --> 00:16:58,452 Yeah, Jonathan. He told you about me? 139 00:16:58,869 --> 00:17:04,244 I'm here at Smith just for tonight, practically on campus. 140 00:17:04,661 --> 00:17:09,869 I was just taking a drive and I found myself practically on campus. 141 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,869 Do you like Smith? 142 00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:24,244 - Where did you go to high school? - What do you do in the summer? 143 00:17:24,661 --> 00:17:27,536 You always answer with a question? 144 00:17:27,828 --> 00:17:30,536 You always date your best friend's girl? 145 00:17:30,953 --> 00:17:34,953 - Sandy told me you were beautiful. - He told me you were sexy. 146 00:17:35,328 --> 00:17:42,119 - I guess he's a poorjudge. - He meant you had personality. 147 00:17:42,619 --> 00:17:48,536 - You have a special quality. - I'm hardly that special. 148 00:17:49,036 --> 00:17:55,703 Most girls I talk to it's like we're spies from foreign countries, - 149 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:59,828 - speaking in code. Everything means something else. 150 00:18:00,328 --> 00:18:04,411 I say, "How about a walk?" And it means something else. 151 00:18:04,911 --> 00:18:09,412 "No, I've got a French test tomorrow." And it means something else. 152 00:18:09,787 --> 00:18:12,578 And you say, "I'll help you study." 153 00:18:12,912 --> 00:18:18,495 You're sharp, I like that. You're too sharp. 154 00:18:19,078 --> 00:18:24,787 - Does that bother you? - It interests me. 155 00:18:25,287 --> 00:18:29,287 - We'd be good together. - I'm dating your best friend. 156 00:18:29,662 --> 00:18:35,579 - He won't mind. I won't tell him. - What if I mind? 157 00:18:37,370 --> 00:18:42,954 - Want to go out Friday? - I'm seeing Sandy. 158 00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:46,579 - Saturday? - I have a date. 159 00:18:46,870 --> 00:18:50,370 - Sunday? - I'm seeing my folks. 160 00:18:50,745 --> 00:18:53,537 - Where do they live? - Newton. 161 00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:59,037 - Sunday night? - I'll be too tired. 162 00:18:59,454 --> 00:19:02,662 I'll help you get over your folks. 163 00:19:04,162 --> 00:19:10,246 - What are you so afraid of? - Not you. 164 00:19:18,829 --> 00:19:25,121 I think I'm in love. 165 00:19:28,621 --> 00:19:33,621 - Bullshit artist. - I really think so. 166 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:40,996 - Did you get in yet? - What's that got to do with it? 167 00:19:41,496 --> 00:19:48,705 How do you know if you don't know how you are in bed together? 168 00:19:49,205 --> 00:19:53,705 She tells me thoughts I didn't even know I had. 169 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:58,205 - I can talk to her. - You can talk to me. 170 00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:03,788 I can say things to her I wouldn't dare say to you. 171 00:20:04,205 --> 00:20:09,080 - Things you'd laugh at. - I'm laughing now. 172 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,372 She thinks I'm sensitive. 173 00:20:16,788 --> 00:20:20,872 Sensitive? Oh, boy! 174 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:29,080 - Do you talk about flowers? - Books. 175 00:20:30,872 --> 00:20:35,872 - I read more books than you do. - I'm gonna start. 176 00:20:36,372 --> 00:20:39,872 - I'm reading "The Fountainhead." - What's that? 177 00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:44,747 Her favorite book. Ever hear of "Jean Christophe"? 178 00:20:45,164 --> 00:20:51,247 It's a classic, you moron. I'll read it after "The Fountainhead." 179 00:20:51,747 --> 00:20:58,247 Ever read "Guadalcanal Diary" by Richard Tregaskis? I read it. 180 00:20:58,622 --> 00:21:05,539 Ever read "Gentleman's Agreement"? Or "A Bell For Adano"? 181 00:21:06,039 --> 00:21:11,414 - I'm gonna read everything. - I read more than you. 182 00:21:11,914 --> 00:21:15,623 So who's sensitive? 183 00:21:19,831 --> 00:21:24,789 - I've had a messed-up childhood. - What does your father do? 184 00:21:25,289 --> 00:21:31,706 - He fails. It's not funny. - I'm sorry. Were you very poor? 185 00:21:32,206 --> 00:21:37,206 My father couldn't hold on to ajob. He kept giving me advice. 186 00:21:37,581 --> 00:21:43,498 The more he failed, the more advice. He's a Communist. 187 00:21:44,873 --> 00:21:50,581 We're Republicans. Sometimes I think I'm a Communist. 188 00:21:51,081 --> 00:21:57,165 Me, too. We have so much, and other people have so little. 189 00:21:57,665 --> 00:22:02,957 After I get set up as a lawyer, I really want to go into politics. 190 00:22:03,457 --> 00:22:09,373 Public service. It gets me that I was too young to fight in the war. 191 00:22:09,873 --> 00:22:13,957 That was all about proving that, if everybody pitches in, - 192 00:22:14,248 --> 00:22:17,165 - plain people have a chance. 193 00:22:17,540 --> 00:22:22,332 So although I'm the first in my family to get an education, - 194 00:22:22,748 --> 00:22:26,832 - I don't ever want to forget where I came from. 195 00:22:28,457 --> 00:22:32,332 - You're more serious than I thought. - I know. 196 00:22:32,749 --> 00:22:38,915 I'm another person with her. The things I say... 197 00:22:39,415 --> 00:22:44,415 - Boy! Is she built? - She has... a quality. 198 00:22:44,915 --> 00:22:48,916 She doesn't talk much, but the things she says are sharp. 199 00:22:50,041 --> 00:22:53,041 We should double-date. 200 00:22:53,416 --> 00:22:59,124 I want to know her better before we double-date. 201 00:22:59,624 --> 00:23:04,707 Isn't it great? A month ago, neither of us even knew a girl. 202 00:23:06,624 --> 00:23:12,499 - What's her name? - Myrtle. 203 00:24:49,792 --> 00:24:53,084 Bullshit artist! 204 00:24:56,917 --> 00:25:01,709 You're not kidding me? You really did it! 205 00:25:08,584 --> 00:25:14,084 - Next it's my turn. - I don't think she'll do it. 206 00:25:14,501 --> 00:25:18,959 - Sandy, find somebody else. - Are you crazy? I'm on the verge. 207 00:25:19,376 --> 00:25:22,459 I'll see her tomorrow night. 208 00:25:24,751 --> 00:25:29,668 Sandy? Do you ever talk to her about me? 209 00:25:30,084 --> 00:25:32,376 Sometimes. 210 00:25:32,668 --> 00:25:37,168 Do me a favor. Don't tell her I got laid. 211 00:25:41,543 --> 00:25:44,460 Please, Susan. 212 00:25:44,835 --> 00:25:49,960 Sometimes I want to do it, and then I don't. 213 00:25:54,835 --> 00:25:58,543 I don't know why you put up with me. 214 00:26:01,918 --> 00:26:06,418 - I don't think I can do it. - It really hurts, Susan. 215 00:26:06,835 --> 00:26:12,127 - Let me. - Not anymore. 216 00:26:12,627 --> 00:26:15,502 Susan, let's do it. 217 00:26:18,919 --> 00:26:21,794 I love you. 218 00:26:22,919 --> 00:26:29,127 Do you have anything? How long have you had that? 219 00:26:29,710 --> 00:26:34,502 - Not a year or anything? - I'm sure it's okay. 220 00:26:36,210 --> 00:26:41,294 - I'm not taking any chances. - These have to be okay. 221 00:26:44,086 --> 00:26:47,586 It's okay. 222 00:26:57,169 --> 00:27:00,794 I'm positive it's okay. 223 00:27:14,753 --> 00:27:19,544 - You're not the first to get laid. - It's my first time. 224 00:27:19,961 --> 00:27:24,544 I don't crow about it. There's such a thing as good taste. 225 00:27:24,961 --> 00:27:29,545 After you started scoring, what did I get out of you? 226 00:27:29,961 --> 00:27:35,461 "We did it standing, sitting, in the car, under the car. Myrtle..." 227 00:27:35,961 --> 00:27:41,336 I knew Susan before you knew Myrtle. But you scored first. 228 00:27:41,836 --> 00:27:47,920 It made me very jealous. But I didn't try to shut you up. 229 00:27:48,336 --> 00:27:54,003 - I'm your friend, I sat through it. - Okay, you made your point. 230 00:27:54,503 --> 00:27:57,420 I'm a better friend to you than you are to me. 231 00:29:17,921 --> 00:29:21,838 Didn't you ever do that? 232 00:29:22,254 --> 00:29:27,046 Of course, I knew what "misled" meant. 233 00:29:27,421 --> 00:29:32,338 But when I saw it, I thought it was "myzeled"! 234 00:29:34,505 --> 00:29:37,838 I kept wondering what it meant. 235 00:29:40,838 --> 00:29:45,421 Anybody ever heard of "Round John Virgin"? 236 00:29:46,213 --> 00:29:50,297 - Little John! - What did you say? 237 00:29:50,713 --> 00:29:57,297 - Round John Virgin. - Round yon virgin mother and child. 238 00:30:04,713 --> 00:30:09,672 All right: Gunshee. G-u-n-s-h-y. 239 00:30:14,589 --> 00:30:17,297 Susan, do the one about the bear. 240 00:30:17,672 --> 00:30:22,797 The hymn we used to sing about the bear with crossed eyes? 241 00:30:23,255 --> 00:30:26,755 Whose name was Gladly. Don't you know it? 242 00:30:27,255 --> 00:30:31,755 Gladly the cross I'd bear. 243 00:30:32,172 --> 00:30:35,547 Oh, Gladly the cross-eyed bear! 244 00:30:36,381 --> 00:30:40,964 Pronounce this: C-h-o-p-h-o-u-s-e. 245 00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:43,964 Chophus... 246 00:30:47,756 --> 00:30:50,464 Chop house. 247 00:30:52,339 --> 00:30:56,922 - This has to stop. - I don't know how to tell him. 248 00:30:57,339 --> 00:31:01,756 - You tell him a lot of other things. - What does that mean? 249 00:31:02,256 --> 00:31:05,548 You never talk to me the way you talk to him. 250 00:31:05,923 --> 00:31:10,548 - What way? - I don't know. 251 00:31:12,214 --> 00:31:16,506 - I don't want to hurt him. - You're hurting me. 252 00:31:18,339 --> 00:31:23,798 - He loves me. - That's no reason to sleep with him. 253 00:31:27,131 --> 00:31:32,506 You would have just gone on if he hadn't told me, wouldn't you? 254 00:31:33,090 --> 00:31:37,798 - I would never have known. - I don't know. Maybe. 255 00:31:39,006 --> 00:31:45,006 - You're really something. - I don't feel like something. 256 00:31:46,590 --> 00:31:49,673 I feel like nothing. 257 00:31:51,673 --> 00:31:55,090 How much longer do you expect me to take this? 258 00:31:55,590 --> 00:31:58,798 - I'm trying to tell him. - I see how you're trying. 259 00:31:59,090 --> 00:32:02,173 It's not my fault. 260 00:32:02,590 --> 00:32:08,382 You're supposed to be in love with me. I'm gonna tell him. 261 00:32:08,757 --> 00:32:12,757 What? No, Jonathan! 262 00:32:13,174 --> 00:32:18,882 - Try understanding me for once. - You're stronger. 263 00:32:23,049 --> 00:32:27,757 - You tell him everything else. - Who says so? 264 00:32:28,257 --> 00:32:32,257 He tells me, he's my best friend. 265 00:32:36,632 --> 00:32:40,549 Are you going to tell him? 266 00:32:42,132 --> 00:32:45,424 He's so helpless. 267 00:33:07,424 --> 00:33:10,508 Susan, I love you. 268 00:33:10,924 --> 00:33:16,216 Why can't you be more with me like you are with Sandy? 269 00:33:20,883 --> 00:33:24,300 She says she's no good for me. 270 00:33:25,883 --> 00:33:30,883 Maybe she's trying to let you down easy. 271 00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:35,966 Go ahead and laugh. It adds up. 272 00:33:38,966 --> 00:33:40,966 Go ahead and laugh. 273 00:33:43,883 --> 00:33:48,258 You don't know every mood of mine like you know his. How come? 274 00:33:48,675 --> 00:33:53,050 You don't tell me thoughts I never knew I had. 275 00:33:53,467 --> 00:33:56,758 - You can do it with me. - I can't. 276 00:33:57,258 --> 00:34:00,550 You can do it with him, you can do it with me. 277 00:34:00,842 --> 00:34:07,259 - I can't with you. - This has gone far enough. 278 00:34:07,759 --> 00:34:11,634 - I can't stand any more ultimatums. - Tell him tonight. 279 00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:18,925 Or tomorrow I tell him. Look at me! Now tell me my goddamn thoughts! 280 00:34:39,717 --> 00:34:43,217 - You didn't do it, did you? - No. 281 00:34:43,634 --> 00:34:50,801 - Why not? - He looks at me with such trust. 282 00:34:51,301 --> 00:34:55,801 - How do I look at you? - With bitterness. 283 00:34:56,218 --> 00:35:01,801 It used to be trust. At least you know my thoughts. 284 00:35:02,218 --> 00:35:07,176 - Did you tell him? - What do you think? 285 00:35:11,801 --> 00:35:15,593 What do we do now? 286 00:35:16,593 --> 00:35:22,301 - I guess I get an ultimatum. - Is there any sense in this? 287 00:35:34,051 --> 00:35:39,843 - In what? - In you and me. 288 00:35:43,468 --> 00:35:48,468 - That's up to you. - No, it's up to you. 289 00:35:48,968 --> 00:35:54,843 I don't see any point in it. I wish I were wrong. 290 00:35:58,635 --> 00:36:02,843 I don't feel anything anymore. 291 00:36:13,219 --> 00:36:16,510 Neither do I. 292 00:36:24,135 --> 00:36:28,719 The reason I didn't say anything to Sandy... 293 00:36:30,219 --> 00:36:34,511 ...I knew he wouldn't believe me. 294 00:36:34,802 --> 00:36:40,802 And I'd go into details. I knew he'd come running to you, - 295 00:36:41,302 --> 00:36:46,302 - you'd tell him it was all true, and then you'd go to bed with him. 296 00:36:49,094 --> 00:36:53,011 That sounds like what would happen. 297 00:36:59,094 --> 00:37:03,178 - So? - So? 298 00:37:07,178 --> 00:37:10,386 Jonathan... 299 00:37:15,053 --> 00:37:21,970 - I'll always be your friend. - Jesus, Susan, I hope not. 300 00:37:33,845 --> 00:37:39,262 It's going to be buggy. It's the tropics, the jungle. 301 00:37:39,637 --> 00:37:43,637 - Just cover yourself. - I'll get eaten alive. 302 00:37:44,053 --> 00:37:49,137 You've never camped out. Isn't he being silly, Jonathan? 303 00:37:49,553 --> 00:37:52,720 - You're a real city boy. - How about the cot? 304 00:37:53,137 --> 00:37:58,928 - We've got a sleeping bag. - Are we sleeping on the ground? 305 00:37:59,345 --> 00:38:04,804 - This knapsack's heavy. - Why did you pack a pillowcase? 306 00:38:05,304 --> 00:38:10,512 - Put it back. - Isn't he a nut, Jonathan? 307 00:38:10,929 --> 00:38:15,429 - Let me pack my things. - I'm just trying to help... 308 00:39:20,930 --> 00:39:24,263 - Jesus... - Do you want her? 309 00:39:24,555 --> 00:39:28,638 - I wouldn't kick her out of bed. - Look at the pair on her. 310 00:39:29,055 --> 00:39:33,221 - That schmuck's trying to keep up. - They're always with those guys. 311 00:39:33,721 --> 00:39:37,347 - He must be 60. - He might have a heart attack. 312 00:39:37,638 --> 00:39:42,222 You could save his life. Get her number and fuck her. 313 00:39:42,722 --> 00:39:45,430 You bastard... 314 00:39:46,805 --> 00:39:51,097 - How's Susan? - Couldn't be better. 315 00:39:51,597 --> 00:39:57,013 I always said it: You found yourself ajewel. 316 00:40:00,514 --> 00:40:05,097 - Not bad, that one. - You get more than your share. 317 00:40:05,514 --> 00:40:11,305 - I'd marry if I found the right girl. - Bullshit. You and your actresses... 318 00:40:11,889 --> 00:40:16,597 You got the deal, Doctor. What can I say? 319 00:40:16,972 --> 00:40:21,889 "Take your clothes off, I wanna check your capital gains." 320 00:40:22,889 --> 00:40:27,264 - I just look. - Sure you do. 321 00:40:27,681 --> 00:40:34,056 Susan is plenty enough woman for one man. Look at that. 322 00:40:38,472 --> 00:40:42,181 - That's Sally Joyce. - I saw her on TV. 323 00:40:42,556 --> 00:40:48,764 I fucked her once. We used to do her taxes. 324 00:40:49,348 --> 00:40:53,056 - She's with another firm now. - Why not say hello? 325 00:40:53,473 --> 00:40:58,431 She wouldn't remember me. She's a real ball-buster. 326 00:40:58,848 --> 00:41:03,264 I've been through the mill with her kind. 327 00:41:03,639 --> 00:41:08,056 You think a girl goes for you, but it's your money or your balls... 328 00:41:08,431 --> 00:41:14,848 And your balls. Women today are better hung than the men. 329 00:41:24,515 --> 00:41:30,015 - I should have your problems. - It used to be easier to get laid. 330 00:41:30,598 --> 00:41:35,015 I don't fuck more than a dozen new girls a year now. 331 00:41:35,432 --> 00:41:41,515 I may be too much of a perfectionist. This last one came so close. 332 00:41:42,098 --> 00:41:45,223 Good tits. Not great. 333 00:41:45,515 --> 00:41:50,307 Almost no ass at all, and that bothered me. Sensational legs. 334 00:41:50,682 --> 00:41:56,682 I'd settle for the legs, if she had two more inches here and three here. 335 00:41:57,182 --> 00:42:02,599 - That took two years out of my life. - You don't want a family? 336 00:42:03,099 --> 00:42:06,474 Who needs it? 337 00:42:06,890 --> 00:42:12,182 - Fucking can't be your life's work. - Don't tell me what I can't do. 338 00:42:12,682 --> 00:42:15,765 You're so well-off? 339 00:42:42,558 --> 00:42:47,224 Susan's a very good homemaker. Very efficient. 340 00:42:47,641 --> 00:42:51,224 I come home, everything is in its place. I like that. 341 00:42:51,641 --> 00:42:56,724 It's tiring, a full day at the office, then the hospital for a few hours. 342 00:42:57,141 --> 00:43:02,933 So it's nice when everything's in its place. Martini, dinner, the kids. 343 00:43:05,141 --> 00:43:11,100 We don't watch much TV. We read aloud to each other. 344 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:16,016 We used to have more friends. 345 00:43:17,891 --> 00:43:25,016 On weekends we might entertain a little, or go to see a friend. 346 00:43:25,516 --> 00:43:29,892 Come into town, see a play or a good film. 347 00:43:32,017 --> 00:43:35,475 It's not glamorous or anything. 348 00:43:37,475 --> 00:43:41,308 There are other things than glamor. 349 00:43:49,767 --> 00:43:54,559 - You have a long lifeline. - I like that. 350 00:43:54,975 --> 00:43:57,975 The way you run your nail across my... 351 00:43:58,267 --> 00:44:03,767 - You're difficult to get along with. - Me? Bobbie... 352 00:44:04,267 --> 00:44:10,642 - You always know your own mind. - Right this minute, anyway. 353 00:44:12,767 --> 00:44:17,434 You won't stop until you get what you want. 354 00:44:20,434 --> 00:44:23,559 Let me see your hand. 355 00:44:29,434 --> 00:44:33,142 - Well? - You are built. 356 00:44:33,517 --> 00:44:38,851 - Do you see that in my hand? - Even your hand is built. 357 00:44:39,226 --> 00:44:44,143 - You're a dirty old man. - I'm a dirty young man. 358 00:44:44,518 --> 00:44:47,934 - How old are you? - What do you think? 359 00:44:48,309 --> 00:44:52,809 19... 20? 360 00:44:55,018 --> 00:45:00,726 - 21? 22... - No. 361 00:45:02,226 --> 00:45:06,310 - 24. - You skipped 23. 362 00:45:06,601 --> 00:45:10,518 - 23? - No. 363 00:45:10,893 --> 00:45:14,476 24? 25? 364 00:45:16,101 --> 00:45:22,601 - 26? 27? - You're getting warm. 365 00:45:24,268 --> 00:45:28,893 28? 29. 366 00:45:31,685 --> 00:45:35,393 I like going out with older women. 367 00:45:41,852 --> 00:45:47,477 Are you married? You don't want to get married? 368 00:45:47,852 --> 00:45:51,769 I'd marry you in a minute. Can you cook? 369 00:45:52,269 --> 00:45:55,560 - Spaghetti. - I can cook spaghetti. 370 00:45:56,060 --> 00:46:01,435 - Good, you do the cooking. - What'll you do? 371 00:46:01,852 --> 00:46:06,227 - What would you like me to do? - What would you like to do? 372 00:46:06,644 --> 00:46:11,144 - I asked you first. - I'm not gonna answer. 373 00:46:13,144 --> 00:46:19,644 - Well... I can sew. - Not much of a marriage. 374 00:46:20,144 --> 00:46:27,436 - Me cooking, you sewing. - Wanna divorce? I'll take every cent. 375 00:46:27,936 --> 00:46:32,311 I didn't know I was marrying a gold-digger. 376 00:46:32,727 --> 00:46:38,603 - You won't take pity on me? - Only if you say you're sorry. 377 00:46:40,311 --> 00:46:46,394 - I'm sorry. - And you'll never do it again. 378 00:46:46,894 --> 00:46:52,311 - And you'll always be a good boy. - Yes, Mama. 379 00:46:54,186 --> 00:46:59,686 - Do you like to be mothered? - I like to be smothered by you. 380 00:47:00,186 --> 00:47:03,686 What else would you like me to do to you? 381 00:47:27,853 --> 00:47:31,978 Well, how do you like it? 382 00:47:33,562 --> 00:47:39,353 - How do I like what? - My... you know. 383 00:47:40,937 --> 00:47:46,729 - What do I know? - You know everything. 384 00:47:49,354 --> 00:47:53,937 - I know you. - And I know you. 385 00:49:30,647 --> 00:49:34,522 Well, I almost came that time. 386 00:50:22,397 --> 00:50:25,772 - Nurse? - What is it, Mr. Weisenborn? 387 00:50:26,272 --> 00:50:30,773 - Come in here a minute, please. - Certainly. 388 00:50:39,273 --> 00:50:42,564 Why, Mr. Weisenborn! 389 00:50:54,773 --> 00:50:59,065 Most guys I know are pricks. 390 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:04,648 I don't know what they want. 391 00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:11,231 I'll tell you. They want the boodle. 392 00:51:11,648 --> 00:51:15,523 But they ain't gonna get the boodle. 393 00:51:16,023 --> 00:51:19,148 Because this kid here has got it. 394 00:51:20,940 --> 00:51:24,732 You're pretty sure of yourself. 395 00:51:29,732 --> 00:51:36,107 - You're a nice man. - And you're a very lucky girl. 396 00:52:47,733 --> 00:52:53,233 - You know something, Sam? - What is it, sweetheart? 397 00:52:56,150 --> 00:53:01,233 Would it be a mistake if we shacked up? 398 00:53:07,525 --> 00:53:14,733 It's very difficult, Bobbie. These last weeks we got on so well. 399 00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:21,025 The idea... 400 00:53:23,525 --> 00:53:27,608 I like you very much. 401 00:53:28,108 --> 00:53:31,817 So much that this idea... 402 00:53:37,109 --> 00:53:44,400 To be perfectly honest, it sounds very good to me. 403 00:53:46,609 --> 00:53:51,984 Let's give it a couple of days to think about it. 404 00:53:53,984 --> 00:53:59,692 It sounds like... very good. 405 00:54:02,192 --> 00:54:05,276 Very, very... 406 00:54:09,151 --> 00:54:12,067 Good. 407 00:54:13,776 --> 00:54:16,776 Only, our eyes should be open. 408 00:54:17,067 --> 00:54:23,568 We should know exactly what we're getting into. 409 00:54:24,068 --> 00:54:28,151 I'm not asking you for marriage. 410 00:54:29,651 --> 00:54:35,151 - As long as we both understand that. - We do. 411 00:54:35,651 --> 00:54:40,526 It's better to get it all out on the table, - 412 00:54:41,026 --> 00:54:45,318 - so later there can be no misunderstanding. 413 00:54:45,818 --> 00:54:49,235 Many business deals have come to grief... 414 00:54:49,610 --> 00:54:52,235 Okay... 415 00:54:59,026 --> 00:55:03,110 You're a real prick, you know that? 416 00:55:06,901 --> 00:55:09,026 Prick? 417 00:55:13,985 --> 00:55:20,402 I could get serious about this girl. She's a lot of fun to be with. 418 00:55:22,610 --> 00:55:29,402 Just between the two of us, for the last year, I've been having... 419 00:55:31,485 --> 00:55:37,402 A little trouble. I wasn't worried, but still... 420 00:55:39,277 --> 00:55:44,694 A little trouble with... myself. 421 00:55:51,277 --> 00:55:54,652 ...Getting hard. 422 00:55:57,069 --> 00:56:03,152 It took a long time. Girls today judge you very quickly. 423 00:56:03,652 --> 00:56:10,444 So I had a real rough time a couple of times. 424 00:56:10,944 --> 00:56:18,361 Some very nasty innuendos. As I say, I wasn't too worried... 425 00:56:21,153 --> 00:56:25,028 I won't lie to you, I was worried. 426 00:56:27,028 --> 00:56:31,611 Then along comes Bobbie. One look at the pair on her - 427 00:56:32,028 --> 00:56:39,528 - and I never doubted that I'd be okay again. And I was. 428 00:56:40,819 --> 00:56:47,695 With all our kidding, I don't mind telling you I had tears in my eyes. 429 00:56:48,195 --> 00:56:54,986 She's really the one in the airline commercial? You lucky son of a bitch. 430 00:56:55,611 --> 00:57:02,903 I don't want to get in over my head. I did that already. 431 00:57:03,486 --> 00:57:07,778 And you have to be a real bastard. 432 00:57:11,403 --> 00:57:15,570 I don't like being put in that position. 433 00:57:19,695 --> 00:57:23,570 - What would you do? - If she looks like she does on TV... 434 00:57:23,987 --> 00:57:28,987 - Size 38, with a D cup. - Looks aren't everything. 435 00:57:29,362 --> 00:57:33,487 Believe me, looks are everything. 436 00:57:35,862 --> 00:57:39,154 Maybe. 437 00:57:44,070 --> 00:57:49,070 - I'm hungry. - I'll get up. 438 00:57:49,445 --> 00:57:54,862 - Why do we always eat so late? - Because I work late. 439 00:57:55,446 --> 00:58:00,946 - Why do you work at all? - Brings in extra money. 440 00:58:01,446 --> 00:58:06,237 - I make enough. - You want me to quit? 441 00:58:06,737 --> 00:58:11,821 I thought you were bored with it. So quit. 442 00:58:13,529 --> 00:58:18,738 - What would I do? - What do other women do? 443 00:58:20,321 --> 00:58:23,404 Have children. 444 00:58:33,613 --> 00:58:36,488 Well, you asked me. 445 01:00:35,489 --> 01:00:40,573 - What about my beer? - We're all out. 446 01:00:44,990 --> 01:00:50,156 - I really wanted a beer. - Should I run to the corner? 447 01:00:52,156 --> 01:00:57,281 - You're too tired. - I don't mind. 448 01:00:57,781 --> 01:01:01,948 - I'll get it. - No, I'll get it. 449 01:01:02,365 --> 01:01:07,365 It's my fault. I should have reminded you when I called. 450 01:01:08,657 --> 01:01:11,240 I'm sorry. 451 01:01:12,865 --> 01:01:17,532 You're more tired now than when you were working. 452 01:01:17,948 --> 01:01:21,448 I'm in the house all day. 453 01:01:21,823 --> 01:01:28,240 Did you get up at all? What do you do? When you're not on the phone? 454 01:01:30,615 --> 01:01:37,115 - I'm not on the phone that much. - It took 45 minutes to get through. 455 01:01:46,824 --> 01:01:50,699 - I'll get the beer. - I'll go. 456 01:01:51,116 --> 01:01:55,324 - I thought you were too tired. - I haven't been out all day. 457 01:01:55,616 --> 01:01:59,324 Fresh air will do you good. 458 01:02:01,199 --> 01:02:07,199 - Will you walk with me? - Then I may as well go myself. 459 01:02:28,366 --> 01:02:31,658 You wanna make love? 460 01:02:34,366 --> 01:02:37,658 We haven't in a week. 461 01:02:40,283 --> 01:02:43,158 Is it a week? 462 01:02:45,241 --> 01:02:50,450 It's funny. Susan and I do all the right things. 463 01:02:50,866 --> 01:02:55,533 We undress in front of each other, spend 15 minutes on foreplay. 464 01:02:56,033 --> 01:03:00,950 We do it in different rooms. It's a seven-room house. 465 01:03:04,450 --> 01:03:08,325 We do it when we feel like it. 466 01:03:09,742 --> 01:03:16,408 We don't feel we always need to be passionate. Necking can be more fun. 467 01:03:20,325 --> 01:03:27,909 We're considerate of each other. I had a tendency to be selfish. 468 01:03:29,825 --> 01:03:33,700 But I don't do that now. 469 01:03:37,700 --> 01:03:44,200 We try to be patient, and we are. Gentle with each other. 470 01:03:53,784 --> 01:03:57,784 Maybe it's not meant to be enjoyable with women you love. 471 01:03:59,492 --> 01:04:04,201 Do you want to get laid? 472 01:04:06,576 --> 01:04:08,993 Please. 473 01:04:19,659 --> 01:04:22,159 Very nice. 474 01:04:27,576 --> 01:04:31,660 I almost had it. Right, Cindy? 475 01:04:35,535 --> 01:04:39,826 - See that, Cindy? - He was lucky. 476 01:04:44,326 --> 01:04:49,743 - Bastard, that was out. - Bullshit. 477 01:04:50,243 --> 01:04:54,326 - We'll do it over, all right? - All right. 478 01:04:58,618 --> 01:05:02,743 Deuce! You see that shot, Cindy? 479 01:05:03,035 --> 01:05:06,118 Now we got some tennis. 480 01:05:21,285 --> 01:05:28,785 - Game! Luck, my ass! - You want to take me on, Cindy? 481 01:05:29,285 --> 01:05:33,785 - It's my turn. - Come on, Bobbie, you're so awful. 482 01:05:35,577 --> 01:05:38,369 You serve. 483 01:05:39,285 --> 01:05:45,077 Very nice. You play well. Look, Sandy! 484 01:05:45,702 --> 01:05:48,577 Terrific, Cindy. 485 01:05:49,994 --> 01:05:54,869 She's racking me up, I'm not kidding. 486 01:05:59,161 --> 01:06:05,369 Look at this. 40-love. And I'm not taking it easy. 487 01:07:36,079 --> 01:07:41,371 You and Lord & Taylor's have to work out a trial separation. 488 01:07:43,371 --> 01:07:46,079 The water was running. What did you say? 489 01:07:46,371 --> 01:07:51,371 You and Lord & Taylor's have to work out a trial separation. 490 01:07:57,954 --> 01:08:01,537 Look at the date. 491 01:08:01,954 --> 01:08:05,454 Five months ago. 492 01:08:17,038 --> 01:08:20,746 I'm sorry I cost you so much money. 493 01:09:12,872 --> 01:09:16,580 I want to get married. 494 01:09:44,331 --> 01:09:49,747 Are you tired of me, Jonathan? The answer is yes. 495 01:09:50,247 --> 01:09:55,831 You said, "Am I ever." I need more in life than this. 496 01:09:56,331 --> 01:09:59,623 After a long bed hunt, you finally chose me. 497 01:10:00,039 --> 01:10:04,623 Cindy's not a virgin either! 498 01:10:05,039 --> 01:10:09,206 Is that what brought this on? 499 01:10:09,623 --> 01:10:14,623 You must have a low opinion of me to think I'd do that to Sandy. 500 01:10:14,998 --> 01:10:21,414 No, you wouldn't cheat on Sandy. He spends half his life here. 501 01:10:21,914 --> 01:10:29,123 You just had me screwing Cindy. Am I screwing Sandy now? 502 01:10:29,581 --> 01:10:34,498 I'm going too fast? Your mind works like an IBM. 503 01:10:34,998 --> 01:10:39,706 First Cindy, then Sandy. How about Cindy and Sandy? 504 01:10:40,081 --> 01:10:44,998 When I heard about your checkered past, I felt like a celibate. 505 01:10:45,498 --> 01:10:48,998 - You made me tell. - Sure, I twisted your arm. 506 01:10:49,290 --> 01:10:53,290 - It got you hot! - Something has to. 507 01:11:07,373 --> 01:11:12,749 - You have such contempt for me. - You worked hard for it. It's yours. 508 01:11:13,165 --> 01:11:17,665 - The way you paw me at parties. - Now affection is contempt. 509 01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:22,165 Everything upside down. 510 01:11:22,540 --> 01:11:26,249 Feeling me up in public is not affection. 511 01:11:26,665 --> 01:11:34,124 I know I'm doing a terrible job, but you're not helping me. 512 01:11:34,624 --> 01:11:38,832 - I help you. - I can do without your kind of help. 513 01:11:39,249 --> 01:11:42,249 Can you really? 514 01:11:45,207 --> 01:11:51,707 You'll do anything to ruin my day. I got up today feeling so good. 515 01:11:52,207 --> 01:11:57,208 You couldn't leave us alone. We were doing so well. 516 01:11:57,624 --> 01:12:01,124 It was great what we had. 517 01:12:01,499 --> 01:12:08,416 It can't have a natural time span? Affairs can't dissolve in a good way? 518 01:12:08,916 --> 01:12:14,083 - I really don't see why. - Do you want it over? 519 01:12:14,583 --> 01:12:21,791 Why must it be one or the other? I want you here where you belong! 520 01:12:22,375 --> 01:12:28,291 - What about you? - When I'm here, I'm here. Or there. 521 01:12:28,666 --> 01:12:34,958 No. I'm a man-eater and a ball-buster... I want to get married. 522 01:12:39,875 --> 01:12:44,250 Where the fuck is my shoehorn? This place is a mess! 523 01:12:44,667 --> 01:12:51,458 You look like you fell out of bed! You're in bed longer than a baby! 524 01:12:51,958 --> 01:12:57,958 I sleep all day because I can't stand my life... 525 01:13:03,667 --> 01:13:06,542 Now I'll fall in love with you all over again. 526 01:13:06,834 --> 01:13:11,750 - Marry me, Jonathan. Please. - You're trying to kill me. 527 01:13:12,125 --> 01:13:16,042 - Marriage isn't death. - Why now? 528 01:13:16,542 --> 01:13:23,125 Two years ago I slept 8 hours, a year ago it was 12. 529 01:13:23,625 --> 01:13:26,834 - Soon it'll be 24. - Are you trying to scare me? 530 01:13:27,125 --> 01:13:31,042 - I need a life! - Get ajob! 531 01:13:31,417 --> 01:13:36,209 - I want you. - I'm taken, by me! Go out! 532 01:13:36,709 --> 01:13:41,917 - Do something useful! - You wouldn't let me work. 533 01:13:42,292 --> 01:13:45,792 You throw a tantrum if I'm out when you call. 534 01:13:46,209 --> 01:13:49,292 I'm out there in the jungle eight hours a day! 535 01:13:49,584 --> 01:13:54,209 - You even tell me who to vote for. - You want ajob? I got it! 536 01:13:54,584 --> 01:13:59,876 Fix up this pigsty! You get a pretty good salary for testing this bed. 537 01:14:00,376 --> 01:14:06,293 You want $50 extra? Try vacuuming! An extra 100? Make this bed! 538 01:14:06,668 --> 01:14:12,793 Open some windows! It smells like a coffin in here! 539 01:14:20,585 --> 01:14:25,460 You don't need me. Why do you take this kind of abuse? 540 01:14:25,876 --> 01:14:29,751 Walk out. Please leave me. 541 01:14:30,168 --> 01:14:36,751 - I'd almost marry you if you'd leave. - Abuse? I'm used to worse. 542 01:14:38,168 --> 01:14:43,043 With all your carrying on, to me you're a gift. 543 01:14:48,252 --> 01:14:51,543 So what's it gonna be? 544 01:14:54,460 --> 01:14:59,752 - You sure know how to ruin things. - Where does that leave us? 545 01:15:00,127 --> 01:15:02,627 Is this an ultimatum? 546 01:15:03,044 --> 01:15:08,127 Is this an ultimatum? Answer me, you ball-busting bitch! 547 01:15:08,544 --> 01:15:14,502 If it is, I'm gonna tell you what you can do with your ultimatum! 548 01:15:14,919 --> 01:15:18,127 You can make this goddamned bed! That's what you can do... 549 01:15:18,627 --> 01:15:22,919 Clean these filthy sheets...! 550 01:15:27,419 --> 01:15:32,586 - She's not ready. - We're a little early. 551 01:15:33,002 --> 01:15:37,794 - You're looking good, Cindy. - Will Bobbie be long? 552 01:15:38,211 --> 01:15:40,794 No... 553 01:15:45,669 --> 01:15:50,294 - Do we have to go to this party? - How about it, Cindy? 554 01:15:50,669 --> 01:15:55,461 Where's the powder room? I'm going, you do what you want. 555 01:16:04,086 --> 01:16:09,586 Man, she's really something. 556 01:16:09,961 --> 01:16:16,461 - I'm bored out of my mind. - With that? You must be kidding. 557 01:16:20,253 --> 01:16:24,753 Do you have to go to this party? 558 01:16:25,253 --> 01:16:30,045 - Stick around. - No, it's better that I go. 559 01:16:38,420 --> 01:16:41,753 I just did my hair. 560 01:16:45,837 --> 01:16:51,420 I've got this at home. How's your tennis game, Jonathan? 561 01:16:51,837 --> 01:16:56,420 - We'll have to have a rematch. - Any time. 562 01:17:10,004 --> 01:17:16,087 Is she always that way? Boy, is she competitive. 563 01:17:16,504 --> 01:17:20,587 She is. I find that attractive. 564 01:17:22,587 --> 01:17:27,296 You know her problem? She wants balls. 565 01:17:27,671 --> 01:17:31,671 - She's all right. - It's no criticism. 566 01:17:32,171 --> 01:17:35,962 - I wish she were more feminine. - She is a little masculine. 567 01:17:36,296 --> 01:17:43,087 - She always demands her way. - She's got a great body. 568 01:17:43,587 --> 01:17:47,754 I have to give her everything she wants. 569 01:17:48,171 --> 01:17:52,546 I wouldn't mind giving her something. 570 01:17:52,963 --> 01:17:57,671 You got Bobbie. I should have it that good. 571 01:17:58,046 --> 01:18:03,254 I've never seen a body like Bobbie's. 572 01:18:03,754 --> 01:18:09,963 She could do with more of what Cindy's got. She's so passive. 573 01:18:11,963 --> 01:18:19,421 I wouldn't mind Cindy lying still. Her instructions in bed are like a drill. 574 01:18:19,921 --> 01:18:26,338 I wouldn't mind a little of that. If she remembers who's boss. 575 01:18:36,713 --> 01:18:41,422 You wouldn't want to swap? 576 01:18:44,630 --> 01:18:50,505 - Are you serious? - It might liven things up. 577 01:18:56,505 --> 01:19:01,005 - She can miss one party. - What about Bobbie? 578 01:19:01,505 --> 01:19:08,589 She's so mad at me she'll jump on you just for revenge. 579 01:19:09,797 --> 01:19:14,880 - Seriously? - She's in the bedroom. 580 01:19:15,297 --> 01:19:20,589 If you're quiet, you can do it and she won't even know. 581 01:19:27,381 --> 01:19:30,256 Give me a minute. 582 01:20:03,923 --> 01:20:07,340 Tell Sandy it's time to leave. 583 01:20:14,715 --> 01:20:18,923 I hope you dance better than you play tennis. 584 01:20:58,174 --> 01:21:02,257 - Sandy won't mind. - What's he got to do with it? 585 01:21:02,757 --> 01:21:05,674 You're his girl. 586 01:21:14,465 --> 01:21:17,882 He said it would be okay. 587 01:21:29,132 --> 01:21:36,257 - What did Sandy say? - That you and me... you know. 588 01:21:39,757 --> 01:21:44,841 - And you had nothing to do with it? - A little. 589 01:21:45,341 --> 01:21:49,716 - A little or a lot? - This much. 590 01:21:50,133 --> 01:21:54,133 I'm surprised it took you this long. 591 01:21:59,008 --> 01:22:04,008 - Sandy and I have to go to a party. - Sandy's busy. 592 01:22:30,383 --> 01:22:37,300 You can come around, alone, that's one thing. I've been expecting that. 593 01:22:37,800 --> 01:22:44,467 But you tell Sandy that if he lays one hand on that tub of lard, - 594 01:22:44,967 --> 01:22:47,967 - not to come home. 595 01:22:52,175 --> 01:22:54,759 So you call me. 596 01:23:24,926 --> 01:23:27,842 Jesus! 597 01:23:36,217 --> 01:23:41,801 She's semi-comatose. Send a resuscitation unit and an airway. 598 01:23:42,426 --> 01:23:49,009 Be ready to give her an IV. We'll put her in intensive care. 599 01:23:52,926 --> 01:23:55,718 Bastard. 600 01:24:19,176 --> 01:24:24,093 Very slick. Very clever! 601 01:24:24,468 --> 01:24:28,593 Well, it's not going to work, Bobbie! 602 01:24:42,468 --> 01:24:44,968 JONATHAN FUERST PRESENTS 603 01:24:46,177 --> 01:24:48,760 A JONATHAN FUERST PRODUCTION 604 01:24:49,760 --> 01:24:52,760 BALLBUSTERS ON PARADE! 605 01:24:54,260 --> 01:24:59,760 That's Bonnie, my first love. She lived upstairs from us. 606 01:25:00,344 --> 01:25:06,052 We exposed ourselves to each other at ten. My mother caught us. 607 01:25:06,427 --> 01:25:10,552 She washed my mouth out with soap. I never got the connection. 608 01:25:12,427 --> 01:25:18,344 Here's Emily, my first steady. I never laid a hand on her. 609 01:25:20,927 --> 01:25:26,802 Mildred I think this one's name was. She followed me around at school. 610 01:25:27,427 --> 01:25:32,094 The fellas kidded me about her. I told her to stop or I'd beat her up. 611 01:25:32,511 --> 01:25:36,303 She dropped her drawers and shoved her ass at me. 612 01:25:36,803 --> 01:25:39,303 So I got my first sight of ass at 12. 613 01:25:41,386 --> 01:25:48,386 Marcia, 13Ѕ. I kissed her at a spin-the-bottle party. 614 01:25:50,678 --> 01:25:56,678 This was Rosalie. She looked just like Elizabeth Taylor. 615 01:25:57,178 --> 01:26:01,886 I had a crush on her and I never went near her. 616 01:26:02,261 --> 01:26:04,678 In those days, we had illusions. 617 01:26:06,470 --> 01:26:11,053 Here's Charlotte. Not much on looks, but great tits for 15. 618 01:26:12,970 --> 01:26:19,761 That's Lenny Hartman's sister. My first French kiss, 16 years old. 619 01:26:20,261 --> 01:26:24,262 Here's Gloria, the best-built girl in school. 620 01:26:24,678 --> 01:26:28,470 I took her to the zoo and copped a cheap feel. 621 01:26:30,470 --> 01:26:34,262 Here's Gwen. I tried for a year to get her to put out, - 622 01:26:34,553 --> 01:26:37,928 - but she was saving me for marriage. 623 01:26:38,428 --> 01:26:42,845 Every guy at Evander got into her pants except me. 624 01:26:43,220 --> 01:26:50,137 Here's my first... No, that's not it. Here's Eileen, my very first fuck. 625 01:26:50,637 --> 01:26:56,512 She was a modern dancer. Great body, but a waste. Frigid. 626 01:26:58,137 --> 01:27:03,637 Here's Nancy. Sweet kid. She went into biology. Very frigid. 627 01:27:06,137 --> 01:27:11,804 Here's Bobbie! My wife. The fastest tits in the West. 628 01:27:12,429 --> 01:27:16,012 And king of the ball-busters. Conned me into marriage. 629 01:27:16,304 --> 01:27:19,721 Now she's killing me with alimony. 630 01:27:21,096 --> 01:27:25,596 How did this one get in here? This is my little girl, Wendy. 631 01:27:26,012 --> 01:27:30,012 "Princess," I call her. Isn't she a dreamboat? 632 01:27:32,096 --> 01:27:38,471 Here's a real cunt. I forget her name. A Nazi. I banged her in Berlin. 633 01:27:40,596 --> 01:27:46,971 This I went with for a few months. Banged her on a yacht race. 634 01:27:48,888 --> 01:27:55,180 This slob I went with a year. I got sick of her and couldn't get it up. 635 01:27:56,471 --> 01:28:02,471 Can't remember her name. This was my Jap in the sack. 636 01:28:03,055 --> 01:28:07,846 I heard Oriental girls were different. Not in America, they're not. 637 01:28:10,555 --> 01:28:15,346 Here's a 16-year-old I gave $20 to one night when I was drunk. 638 01:28:15,763 --> 01:28:20,347 Maybe you know her, Jennifer. She gave me a dose. 639 01:28:23,847 --> 01:28:26,722 That's all, folks. 640 01:28:30,930 --> 01:28:35,013 What are you crying for? It's not a Lassie movie. 641 01:29:53,640 --> 01:29:56,556 Sorry about that. 642 01:29:58,765 --> 01:30:06,140 - So, what else is new? - I don't see anybody anymore. 643 01:30:06,640 --> 01:30:11,723 - Neither do we. - You've got each other. 644 01:30:12,931 --> 01:30:19,932 - I thought she was your daughter. - She's older than I in many ways. 645 01:30:20,432 --> 01:30:26,015 She knows worlds I can't even begin to touch yet. 646 01:30:26,515 --> 01:30:30,723 - I found out who I am. - You're in big trouble. 647 01:30:31,098 --> 01:30:36,598 Same old Jonathan. Let me talk to her about you. 648 01:30:37,098 --> 01:30:41,307 Talk to her about me? I'm forty, she's nine. 649 01:30:41,807 --> 01:30:46,682 - You just don't get it. - I've been getting it a long time. 650 01:30:47,099 --> 01:30:52,307 What's the point? You found a good piece of ass. God bless you. 651 01:30:52,682 --> 01:30:56,807 You're my friend, I'm happy for you, for as long as it lasts. 652 01:30:57,182 --> 01:31:02,391 You deserve to be happy. I mean it. Why fight? 653 01:31:02,766 --> 01:31:07,182 All those games. You don't need them, Jonathan. 654 01:31:07,599 --> 01:31:12,391 I've played more games than anyone. The obedient son, bright student, - 655 01:31:12,766 --> 01:31:19,349 - the cocksman's game. The good husband and father game. 656 01:31:19,849 --> 01:31:25,558 Games don't impress Jennifer. Just life, just love. 657 01:31:26,183 --> 01:31:32,641 I don't want to argue, so let's just agree to disagree, okay? 658 01:31:33,974 --> 01:31:37,558 Jennifer knows more at 18 than Susan knows to this day. 659 01:31:37,933 --> 01:31:43,058 - You found yourself a real jewel. - She's my love teacher. 660 01:31:43,433 --> 01:31:50,141 - Finally got it up, huh? - You give off such bad vibrations. 661 01:31:50,725 --> 01:31:57,225 I love you, but you're a schmuck. You were always young, open. 662 01:31:57,725 --> 01:32:03,808 Maybe schmuckiness is what you need to stay young and open. 663 01:32:04,308 --> 01:32:08,600 Don't listen to me. You're doing great and I'm making money. 664 01:32:08,933 --> 01:32:13,100 You can find what I found. 665 01:32:13,517 --> 01:32:16,808 Don't make me insult you. 666 01:32:32,808 --> 01:32:35,309 Women... 667 01:32:40,809 --> 01:32:44,184 All ball-busters, right? 668 01:32:44,475 --> 01:32:47,767 When you think of what he has to dip into, - 669 01:32:48,184 --> 01:32:51,892 - any guy with a conscience has a right to turn soft. 670 01:32:52,184 --> 01:32:56,184 - Am I right, Louise? - You're always right, lover. 671 01:33:26,059 --> 01:33:31,643 I don't think we're going to have any trouble tonight. 672 01:33:32,934 --> 01:33:37,351 - Are you sure? - Want to bet? 673 01:33:37,851 --> 01:33:40,643 - How much? - The sky's the limit. 674 01:33:40,934 --> 01:33:43,643 Goddammit! 675 01:33:45,726 --> 01:33:50,101 - You're doing it all wrong. - I'm doing it like always. 676 01:33:50,518 --> 01:33:55,935 You never said that before. "The sky's the limit." 677 01:33:56,393 --> 01:34:00,726 - Never. - What do I say? 678 01:34:05,101 --> 01:34:08,310 You forgot, didn't you? 679 01:34:11,518 --> 01:34:15,602 I say a hundred. 680 01:34:31,393 --> 01:34:36,269 - Okay. - Itjust came out. 681 01:34:36,685 --> 01:34:39,977 I just want it right. 682 01:34:54,852 --> 01:35:02,061 I don't think we're going to have any trouble tonight. 683 01:35:02,561 --> 01:35:07,144 - Are you sure? - Wanna bet? 684 01:35:07,561 --> 01:35:11,519 - How much? - A hundred. 685 01:35:24,228 --> 01:35:31,103 - You sound pretty sure. - With your kind, why shouldn't I be? 686 01:35:33,811 --> 01:35:37,103 What kind of man am I? 687 01:35:39,603 --> 01:35:43,103 A real man. A kind man. 688 01:35:44,811 --> 01:35:51,603 - I'm not kind. - I don't mean weak, like many men. 689 01:35:52,103 --> 01:35:57,895 I mean the kindness that comes from an inner power so strong - 690 01:35:58,395 --> 01:36:05,395 - that every act is more proof of that power. Women resent that. 691 01:36:05,978 --> 01:36:13,687 That's why they try to cut you down. Because your knowledge is so true - 692 01:36:14,187 --> 01:36:20,270 - that it exposes the lies which every scheming one of them lives by. 693 01:36:20,770 --> 01:36:25,687 It takes a true woman to understand the purest form of love: 694 01:36:26,062 --> 01:36:31,062 To love a man who denies himself to her. A man who inspires worship. 695 01:36:31,562 --> 01:36:37,354 Because he has no need for any woman. Because he has himself. 696 01:36:37,854 --> 01:36:44,229 And who is better, more beautiful, more powerful, more perfect... 697 01:36:44,729 --> 01:36:51,145 You're getting hard... More masculine, extraordinary. 698 01:36:51,520 --> 01:36:57,854 More robust... It's rising. 699 01:36:58,354 --> 01:37:00,812 More virile, domineering. 700 01:37:01,146 --> 01:37:05,021 More irresistible... 701 01:37:06,437 --> 01:37:10,521 It's up, in the air. 59367

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