All language subtitles for 2024 The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare

Uh, Sweden.

I'm... I'm... Swedish

but I speak a little English.

We're coming on board.

All are welcome.
All are welcome.

Even the little one.
He can come too.

Welcome.

Why are you here?

Just a little sailing holiday.

A jolly boys trip.

Take your hands off.

Papers?

Passport?

Here you go.

Any other people on the boat?

Just the two of us.

Nein.

Come, come,
we have lots to eat...

Take your dirty hands off me!

Back off!

And you,

put your hands in the air!

Ooh!

You're in trouble now!

You've been a naughty boy!

I'll give you 100 francs
to shoot him.

Don't shoot me!

He hates Germans.
You should really shoot him.

I... I'm sorry.
You are very scary.

Make him walk the plank.

He loves wood.

Dirty drunken animal!

Guilty as charged.

I always take
a can of kerosene

for just
these sort of occasions.

It's been a while,

but the last time
someone laughed at me

when I boarded their vessel,

I gave them the choice.

Either swim to shore

or take their chances
on a burning ship.

Hans and I wondered
which option they'd choose,

death by water or death by fire.

Oddly, they chose both.

They waited
until the very last moment,

until their hair was on fire,

and their blistered skin
peeled from their fingers,

before they immersed
themselves in water

in the vain hope

of reaching shore.

One of them

sank immediately and perished.

But to our amazement,
the big one,

he showed great spirit.

In spite of all the odds...

...he painstakingly
made it to shore.

We followed and cheered him on

and rewarded
this impressive achievement

with a bullet

to the back of his head.

Isn't that funny?

Why aren't you laughing?

Nice work, Lassen.

There's more
where that came from.

Yes.

Ah...

Not sure it's working, Lassen.

The captain
looks rather agitated.

They're bringing their guns
to bear.

They'll find their range
soon, sir.

Freddy, should we be worried?

Oh, I don't think so, sir.

It's a rather large explosive,
so I set a rather large fuse.

I located the outside
of the powder room,

so when it goes bang,

it really should go bang.

Closer...

Should be any second now, chaps.

Freddy?

Good work, Frederick.

Thank you, Captain.

Now, any chance you can tell us

what we're doing here, sir?

The war in Europe rages on

as Hitler and his Nazi horde
sweep aside all in their path.

Poland, Belgium and now France

have all fallen
to Hitler's fascist regime,

leaving Britain
holding up the final hopes

of liberation
for all of Europe.

So, come on, Blighty,
get ready for a fighty.

But we cannot do it alone.

And any hope
for our American brothers

to join us
from across the Atlantic

remains frustrated

by Germany's secret weapon,
the U-boat.

These deadly little submarines

hunt at will
in the North Atlantic.

Undetectable, the U-boat
sinks ships indiscriminately,

whether carrying
munitions, provisions

or civilians heading

from our companions
across the pond.

So long as the U-boats
rule the Atlantic,

it remains impossible

for America's brave troops
to reach our shores.

Will Britain be forced
to appease Hitler's plans

or face devastation
from his offensive?

London burns
and her seas run red,

as bombs from above
and torpedoes from below

grind the Brits down.

And with no defense
against these lethal U-boats,

it appears all hope may be lost

for peace in Europe.

The Germans cut off
our supply chain with U-boats,

we cut off the supply chain
to the U-boats.

Through our intelligence agents,

we've found a way.

The entire

servicing, repairing,
and rearming

of Hitler's
Atlantic U-boat fleet...

is operated
by two Nazi tug boats...

and an Italian supply ship
in Fernando Po.

I need men who are willing
to go and sink those ships.

Why don't we just
air-raid Fernando Po

and sink the ships?

Because crafty Germans,
being crafty Germans,

have positioned themselves
in a Spanish colony.

Fernando Po
is neutral territory.

If we attack that colony,

the rest of unoccupied Europe
will join the Nazis,

and it's only
a question of time

before we find ourselves

frying big pink sausages

wearing nothing but lederhosen.

Hitler is not
playing by the rules

and neither are we.

This will of course be
an unsanctioned,

unauthorized
and unofficial mission.

If they're captured
by the British,

they'll be thrown in jail.

But if the Nazis find them...

it's torture and death.

Somewhat contentiously,

I may have just the man,

but rather inconveniently,

he's currently incarcerated
at His Majesty's pleasure.

We may not like his attitude,

but he's bold, he's a killer,

and the men
will follow him anywhere.

Are we sure this is a good idea?

Of course we're not.

But we're desperate.

- Send him in.

Forward!

Stand there, Major.

Thank you, Sergeant.

Gus March-Phillips,

this is Lieutenant Commander...

Fleming. Ian Fleming.

He used to be
at Naval Intelligence,

now he works for me.

Why am I here, M?

I have a mission
I want you to lead.

Why are you asking me, M?

Help yourself
to a cup of tea, Major.

We both know that I'm...

not very popular
with the administration.

The reason
they find you unattractive

is the very reason
I find you attractive.

Mission?

Operation Postmaster.

To neutralize the German U-boats

in the North Atlantic.

- And, uh, what's the plan?

The U-boats need

- fuel and torpedoes.
- Oh.

But they also need

carbon dioxide filters
for oxygen.

Without them, they can't dive
and they can't hunt.

Stuck on the surface,
they're obsolete.

Target?

The Duchessa d'Aosta.

She's an Italian ship
the Germans have been using...

...to refuel,
re-arm and replenish

the CO2 filters
for the entire fleet.

She's hidden
off the coast of West Africa.

A small island
called Fernando Po.

We want you to, um, sink her.

You'll be posing as fishermen

sailing down the west coast

on board a trawler
loaded with enough explosives

to destroy the Duchessa.

This is Agents
Heron and Stewart.

They'll be working
undercover on the island.

Mr. Heron's
already established there,

running various businesses.

What businesses?

A casino bar,
and illegal exports game.

Profitable?

- I do quite well.

High-ranking Nazis
are my most valued clients.

Good for you.

Miss Stewart,
an actress and singer,

has been training with us
for the last two years.

She'll be posing

as a gold trader from New York.

Her mission is
to seduce and distract

the island's Commanding
Officer Heinrich Luhr.

She's very capable
and somewhat motivated.

Motivated how, sir?

My mother's side
were German Jews.

They were the first to go.

Very sorry to hear that.

I'm sure you'll recover.

We have 44 days

before the Nazis
move their operation.

We won't find them again.

If I'm to do this,
I'll need my own team.

You won't like them.
They're all, uh...

mad.

They'll need to be.
Give us their names.

Henry Hayes.

A smart, young Irishman
who hates the Nazis

because his older brother,

who was a close friend of mine,

drowned after a U-boat
sank his fishing trawler.

I've taken him under my wing
ever since.

He's cunning, quiet and wily.

More to the point,

Hayes is a magnificent sailor
and I trust him.

If we're going
to try and sink a large ship,

we'll need
Freddy "The Buzz" frogman.

He can swim across the channel
with his feet tied together.

Admittedly,

he's a convicted arsonist
and a terrible misery

unless he's destroying something.

But he's very good
at blowing things up.

Next, we'll need
the Danish hammer.

Anders Lassen.

Grew up wrestling bears

and hunting elk
on his family estate.

He's a legend

with a Bowie knife
and a bow and arrow.

He ran away at 18
to fight the Nazis

after the Gestapo tortured
his brother to death.

He gave up filleting game
for gutting Nazis.

He then turned up on our shores

ready to fight alongside us.

He is an uncontrollable mad dog

who knows
a hundred creative ways

to kill a man.

And finally,

and most importantly,
we'll need Geoffrey Appleyard.

Yes, we thought you might.

That's why we sent him

on a reconnaissance mission
to Fernando Po.

Unfortunately,

the Nazis nabbed him
on his return.

All the more reason.
He knows what we need to know.

He's a master planner,

a master survivor,
a chess grand master

and a surgeon with the blade.

We spent two weeks together
in a Dunkirk foxhole

and if it wasn't for Apple,
I would still be there today.

No Apple, no mission.

I'm afraid that's impossible.

Why?

Because he's being held

by an entire German garrison
on La Palma.

La Palma's on the way.

- That's insanity.
- You let me worry about that.

I must get me
one of those coats.

Now, any chance you can tell us

what we're doing here, sir?

Dry yourself off, frogman,
and I'll tell you.

The curiosity is
eating us all up, sir.

I apologize
for all the secrecy, chaps.

But this is

an unsanctioned, unofficial
and unauthorized mission.

If we're picked up by the Brits,

we will all go to jail.

If we're picked up
by the Germans,

torture and death.

So, it's just
the four of us then?

And Captain Appleyard.

He's responsible
for securing this information.

He is, however,
in a spot of bother.

He is being held
by the Germans on La Palma.

Our first job
is to liberate him.

- Oh, so, that's all, is it?
-No.

We need to confirm
Appleyard's intelligence.

That's why
there are two more agents

on their way to Fernando Po
by train, as we speak.

Doing what, exactly?

They'll be ensuring

that those ships
are filled with supplies,

so they're worth blowing up
in the first place.

It's one thing
taking over the world,

but do they have to
take over the kitchen too?

It's all sausage,
cabbage and black bread.

Who would
you have preferred?

The French offer
the refined classical take.

Cote de boeuf,
fromage, le beurre...

- ca suffit!

What about the rustic
spontaneity of the Italians?

Their oils, the linguine,
the tomatoes.

I'd climb over the linguine
to get to the fettucine.

But the cinghiale.

Mmm.

You have me with the wild boar.

But then again,
the Spanish offer

the smorgasbord

of the regional paella
and tapas.

And Jamon Iberico Andalucia.

So?

We're between
a rock and a hard place.

If the Brits win the war,

we're stuck with fish and chips.

If the Germans win the war,

we're stuck with this menu.

So?

We'll have the sausage,
the cabbage

- and the black bread please.

Tres bien. Merci.

Our situation?

Steady.

Steady.

Now.

Mmm.

I'm exhausted.

Entschuldigung, bitte.

Halt!

Is there a problem?

I can manage
myself, thank you.

Allow me, Miss Stewart.

Allow me.

Thank you.

Prost!

Door.

Locked.

Case?

Working on it.

Sir, contact.

- Contact.

Standing by.

Duchessa's manifest. Ready?

- Ready.
- 400 B-grade torpedoes. Check.

400 B-grade torpedoes.

Check.

Check.

5,000 tons of diesel. Check.

5,000 tons of diesel.

- Lieutenant.
-Yes, sir?

Check.

-Check.

10,000 carbon dioxide filters.
Check.

End of message from Stork, sir.

Confirm receipt.

Receipt confirmed.

Urgent, Chequers.

Get the car ready.
Inform Fleming.

Let's pack it up.

No point robbing the bank

if there's no gold in the vault.

Thank you.

It's truly comforting to know

there's at least one gentleman
in the world.

Ah!
Idiot!

Good day.

Sausage, cabbage
and black bread.

Hitler
has made us an offer.

An appeasement.

But we must step down our army,

surrender our Navy
and accept Nazi rule.

Otherwise, he promises

total destruction of Britain
and her empire.

Our best option

is to take Hitler's deal
while we can.

The Air Marshal agrees.

He has more bombs,
more men, more machines.

We won't survive much longer.

You have to make
the only decision you can make

in good conscience,
Prime Minister.

Good God, girls.
Listen to yourselves.

It's not appeasement,
it's surrender.

You still fail to realize
who we're up against.

With respect, Prime Minister,
it's you who doesn't realize.

We cannot hope to defeat him.

Hitler is
the mainspring of evil,

a guttersnipe.

This is not a man
that we can negotiate with.

I've read his book,
Admiral Pound.

The man is a vicious,
victimized ideologue.

He cannot be trusted.

If I thought that
we could've achieved peace

through surrendering,

I'd have done it already.

We need to stop our country
from starving.

We need
three million tons of supplies

to cross the Atlantic
every month.

We are currently losing
50% of that to U-boat attacks.

Another reason to take the deal.

I've not finished,
Algernon, darling.

We need the Americans,

and they will
never enter the war

if we already appear
to be a losing side.

Ending hostilities with Germany

is the best path
out of this mess.

We are all in agreement,
Prime Minister.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Yes,
thank you, gentlemen!

M, Fleming,
this better be good news.

Prime Minister,

we have the manifest here, sir.

It's been confirmed

the Duchessa
is fully laden with supplies

to keep the U-boats
operational indefinitely.

If we're going to sink her,
now is the time.

They're on their way.

And their chances?

Well, if anyone can, they can.

But if we're discovered,

parliament will remove you
from office.

Well,

we'd better make sure
we're not discovered then.

We'll take it
from the cliffside.

It's an 85-foot sheer climb.

No one should notice

a small, innocuous
fishing vessel.

We'll set up in the woods
and see what we're up against,

then we'll go for a night raid.

Slip in quietly,
find Apple, come out fast.

Numbers?

Intelligence suggests
a garrison of 50 to 60.

That should be about 15 each.

Lassen, try not to be greedy.
You do have a reputation.

My killing days are over.

I'm just here
as a peacekeeping observer.

Freddy, bag the kit,
silence the weapons.

When do we go?

0200.

Take the towers first,
then move onto the radio room,

barracks and end up
in the control room...

- What do we have here?

Gestapo.

How'd you know?

The badder they are,
the better they're dressed.

I really must get me
one of those coats.

They must be here for Apple.

It's either torture
or, uh, extraction, sir.

If they extract him,
it'll be the end of Apple.

We won't be seeing him again.

I'm afraid, gentlemen,

we're not going
to have the luxury of night.

We're going
to have to go in now.

So,
what's happened there then?

It looks like

they've been plugged
full of arrows, Haysey.

Well, where did the arrows go?

Straight through them.

There were
two more round the other side.

Where are they now?

Same place as these two.

Nazi heaven.

Well, we've got
less than seven minutes

before they're missed.

Alarms, dogs. None of it good.

Go undercover of the engine.

Only break cover
when things go bang.

I have a great idea, Lassen.

Why don't you march off
by yourself

and fill those Germans
full of arrows?

Freddy, grab the scissors
and help him with that fence.

Aye, sir.

Haysey, you're with me.
We go left.

Freddy, Lassen, you go right.

Fill your boots, gentlemen,
and bon appetit.

- See you at the tower.

And remember, gentlemen,
try to have fun.

- So far, so good.

- Doing rather well, Haysey.

Oh, why thank you, sir.

It's very good.

Sounds like
stealth mode's over.

Haysey, down!

- Nein! Nein!

Do we know each other?

- No.

Is that a heart, Lassen?

For the avoidance of doubt.

Apple, old boy.

- Gus.
-I see you two have met.

This is Haysey.

-Pleasure, Haysey.
- Pleasure's mine.

I thought you might need these.

Jolly thoughtful of you.

You all find him?

Oh, goody.

Bloody hell,
what happened to your nipples?

You all right?

Couldn't unplug me, could you?
Battery's still on.

Did you see the Duchessa,

the tug boats?

And rather
a lot of Nazi soldiers.

Why wasn't that in your report?

Because those soldiers
and those guns,

and those S-Boats are all new.

That's a lot more
than the boys are expecting.

A month ago,
it was a dozen mechanics.

Six drunk sailors.

Two fat Spaniards.

And a Nazi in a pear tree.

I'd say,
we're gonna need more help.

You leave that to me.

- Of course.

-But right now...

- ...you need to meet that man.

Your man.
The reason you're here.

Ah.

The only thing
worse than a Nazi...

is him.

I'm very disappointed, Heron.

There are 16 crates
in my warehouse

you have not yet
shipped to the mainland.

No need to fret, Herr Luhr.

They'll still be delivered
by the agreed date.

That may be.

But they take up valuable space.

For this, I expect

a significant reduction
in your fee.

-I can do 5%...

...as a gesture of goodwill.

Twenty. And don't waste
my precious time haggling.

Well,
strictly speaking,

there should be no reductions,

since there's not yet been
any breach of contract.

Five is more than polite,
20 rings like a sour note,

it jars.

It jars?

Am I being
accused of disharmony?

I take that
as a personal affront.

And I am supposing
you are not the secretary.

Miss Stewart is the contact
I said I'd arrange.

Ah, your New York gold contact?

I told you,

I already have
a satisfying arrangement.

Have a seat.

Thank you.

Well,
I hope I don't disappoint.

I can't make a decision
on this presentation.

Early days.

Well, if early days
do come too soon,

and seasons change
with a Hunter's Moon.

Hmm.

Hmm.

I have to say, Heron,

for all your flaws,

you do have a habit
of pulling rabbits from hats.

So, how much gold
do you wish to move,

- Miss Stewart?

As much as you can find.

As I mentioned before,

I do already have
a very profitable arrangement.

And despite of your commentary,

I pride myself
on maintaining harmony.

Now, why should I entertain you?

Because you'll make more money
and have lots of fun

whilst doing so.

If I'm not good for my word,
don't pay me.

Bravo.

I will talk to my people
and then we'll rendezvous.

Lovely.

When the sly red cat
barks at dawn,

and kills just for her pleasure,

who shares the meal
the cat did steal

when both looked on in pleasure?

Auf wiedersehen.

The riddle was a nice touch.

The hook's in.

Now be careful
how you reel him in.

I'll make sure
the harbor's empty

when the boys arrive.

How are you going to do that?

I'll throw a party at my club.

A costume party for the officers

and a second party at the dock
for the soldiers.

People like my parties.

Everyone but Luhr.

That will be your job.

All the rats
will follow the piper.

So,
if I understand correctly,

we're currently
here in La Palma.

We'll sail around
German-controlled Africa

to Fernando Po,

which is just
north of the Equator,

just off the West African coast.

So that's the shortest route?

Yes, but we don't
want to go shorter.

Our priority is not to be seen.

You mean, be seen again.

Again? Getting a little sloppy
on us now, Gussy?

Had a run-in already?

Never mind us, Apple, old boy.

Remind me again

how you found your nipples
attached to a car battery.

Yes. Wasn't my fault.

Bad intelligence.
Plus it was almost worth it

to watch
the heart-snatcher at work.

I'm better known as a lover
than a fighter.

Jesus Christ!

If that's how you fight,
I'd hate to see you love.

You don't have
to worry about that,

you're too pretty for me.

Freddy, on the other hand...

You'd have to catch me first.

I do love to hunt.

You'd be lucky.

I'm really getting quite hot.

Anyway, my suggestion is
that we take this wider route.

It's obviously longer

but it should avoid
any awkward conversations

with German U-boats
or British warships.

Weather-dependent,

we should make it there
in 15 days.

Agreed.

Haysey, do you think
you could manage that?

Leave it to me, sir.

Just do as you're told

- and get me another drink!

Captain, sir.

Can I get you something to eat?

May I... Come this way.

- Take your hands off me.

You know,

I like you, Femi.

But you touch me again
and you're going to jail.

Femi.

I'll deal with him.

Please take care
of Miss Stewart.

You know what you need,
Captain Binea?

I know what I need.

But do you, Ricardo?

You need another drink.

Marty,

good stuff.

Ricardo, that's why I love you.

- You understand.

This is Fernando Po.

Everybody's welcome.

Si... Everybody.

Too many body I think.

Armando?

Have you fallen out
with our new friends?

It's not fair, Ricardo.

This is my harbor.

I am in charge.

Are they stepping on your toes?

They don't step, they stamp!

They tell Captain Binea nothing.

Only now do I hear

the Duchessa
is leaving the harbor early.

Well, good riddance.

The harbor will be yours again.

When will you be free
of that ugly vessel?

Three days earlier.

Then we should
have another drink.

To celebrate. Marty...

Another round
for our Harbor Master.

So, Captain, do you know
where they wish to relocate?

It's neither cat nor dog
that kills for fun,

it's the vixen, not another.

There's only two
that kill for fun,

my pretty friend,

the fox and his human brother.

I believe I have
resolved your little riddle.

Chapeau. You play well.

Speaking of foxes,

Horowitz and Meyer,
West 47th Street.

Have you heard of them?

I don't believe I have, no.

They're the largest gold traders

in Midtown New York

and you haven't heard of them?

I'm afraid I haven't, no.

I am familiar, of course,
with Horowitz and Haim.

But they're in the west side
of the city.

But then again,

I'm sure you already
knew that, didn't you?

I'm curious,

how do you find
dealing with the Jew?

Oh, dear.

I've slipped from one snare

only to find myself in another.

How shall I put this?

I fear your brilliant leader

has mischaracterized
the ancient tribe of Jahuda.

Their ability to not only

survive 3,000 years
with a boot on their neck,

but to prosper in spite of it...

I suspect it inspired
satanic jealousy within him.

In conclusion,

it looks as though

the lady doth protest too much.

Is there a cherry to go
on this blasphemous cake,

or have you finished?

I must confess,

not only do I respect
and admire the Jew...

I am one.

Kidding!

They're greedy rats.

I think this could be

the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.

Then I shall throw a party
to celebrate.

I don't care for parties.

Oh, spoilsport!
Everybody loves a party.

The Duchessa's leaving

three days earlier
than we thought.

If we don't tell
the Maid Honor,

they'll arrive too late.

Incoming.

Contact.

More Jerries
on the island than expected.

Tin of corned beef's
out of pantry

three days early.

I'll take that.

It's confidential,
sir. For M only.

When it comes
to make the extraction,

it needs to be a very...

Sir. Message, sir.

More Jerries
on the island than expected.

Corned beef's out of the pantry

three days early.

Move faster.

Yes, but there's increased
U-boat sightings in the area.

Sir.

The mission's
still proceeding.

So, there's more
soldiers on the island

and the boat's leaving earlier?

Yes.

Well, how are
we meant to move faster?

We can't move faster.

We're going as fast as we can.

This is a fishing boat,
it's not a speedboat.

Prime Minister,

the Duchessa's leaving
Fernando Po in 12 days.

On our current schedule,

they'll arrive
three days too late.

Can it still be done?

We're still
awaiting a response

from Major Phillips.

If we can't move faster,
we'll go shorter.

We can get to Fernando Po
in 12 days.

Hold on, you said
we couldn't go shorter.

No, I said
we don't want to go shorter.

He said we'll get
mowed down by a U-boat.

Or worse,
picked up by the Brits.

Their armada of destroyers
are crossing there.

We will literally
be sailing over U-boats.

Sorry, lads, we go shorter.

Drei, zwei, eins...

Gentlemen,
as I speak to you now,

London once again

shudders beneath a Nazi
onslaught from the skies.

And at such times,

the hearts of men
are stirred to duty.

But you are not such men.

You were not chosen

for your conspicuous honor
or high ideals.

You were chosen

because you are
the last resort.

The mission
you have been given

is of a sort
never before undertaken.

It demands ruthless men,
who will not hesitate

to stoop beneath
the conventions of war.

Men who do not keep clean hands.

Men like you.

- And yet, who still conspire

in their own
discordant harmony.

Who know and yet do not care
that they may never return.

And who press onward
not for glory,

or for duty, or for me,

but because you are men
who will not stop

until it is done.

Godspeed, gentlemen.

Uh... Chaps...

That's a British destroyer.

We should move.

We can't outrun that, sir.

Well, we've seen them,
they've seen us.

Hold fast, Maid Honor.

We're preparing
a boarding party.

Hello, Captain!

Nothing exciting here.

We're just Swedish fishermen.

Step forward, Jorgensen!

Jorgensen, you're Swedish.

Ask them where
they're heading, would you?

Not you, Lassen.

Uh...

I want to hear March-Phillips
have a go.

Ah.

Fair enough.

Game's up, Commander.

Can't blame a girl for trying.

Good effort, Major.

But I'm afraid you are going
to have to come with us.

May I ask under whose authority

we've been waylaid?

On the orders of Admiral Pound.

First Lieutenant.

You are pursuing

an unsanctioned
criminal enterprise

in international waters.

You're going to cause an upset.

I think we're a little
past upset, Commander.

Stevens, what have you got?

I had a ping, sir.

The greedy little Nazi

won't be satisfied
with holding most of Europe,

he's after our own
green and pleasant land.

Well, thank God you're here

with your little
wooden battleship

and your five-man army.

- U-boat, bearing 273.

- Sound the alarm.

Come aboard.

U-boat approaching.
Starboard side, sir.

Battle stations!

Major, if you know
what's good for you,

- you'll head home.
- Very good, Commander.

Haysey, get us away
from that torpedo magnet

as quickly as possible.

Aye, sir. Apple, man the stern.

Freddy, on the main sail.

Lassen to the bow, now.
Untie that station!

Aye.

Quickly now, lads!

Hoist that foresail for us,
will you, boys?

Main sail ready to haul!

All right, Freddy,
now raise that main sail!

Aye.

-Report sounding.

-Bearing 163.

Lassen, trim the main sail

and then tie it off!

How do you expect good?

Report sounding.

Bearing 115.

-Fire depth charges.

So, this is your man
that gets things done?

His name is Kamp Billy...
with a K.

And he went
to an English boarding school?

Not just any boarding school.
He went to Eton,

the boarding school.

Right...

Then what's he doing here?

He's a prince.

A prince of what, exactly?

- The Prince of Fernando Po!

So, he's part pirate,
part aristocrat?

Chic.

He's also
a part of our solution.

RH.

KB.

He's back in town.

Chief.

Seems like
you always come bearing gifts.

Is she for me?

- Good luck with that.

I'm not for you,

but these are.

Mmm. Goodies. Yummy.

- Ade...
- Chief.

Come on, come on.

Someone has taste.

Rarer than hens' teeth.

Well, RH tells me that KB

is the only man to talk to

when it comes
to getting things done.

Why do I feel like
I've gone from being

- the predator to the prey?

Quite an entrance, young lady.

It's on the condition
that we sample them...

now.

Ade, set the table.

Chief.

And then the Duke said,

"Push it in till it stops!"

You are quite the weapon.

I was right,

I was the prey.

I'll help you
because I don't like Nazis.

Not because they're Nazis
but because they're gauche.

I'll give you a tug
and 12 of my best men,

including yours truly.

But if I'm gonna help you,
who's gonna help me?

Because you're
not a soldier, RH.

No, but she is.

She'll outshoot your best man.

I told you.

- No!
- No!

Stork delivery. Check.

Check.

Twenty-three boys. Check.

- Stork delivery.

Twenty-three boys.

Seventeen girls.

Meeting point 20 kilometers
outside Fernando Po.

The rendezvous with Heron.

Can you get us there?

If the weather holds,

I can, sir.

Twenty quid says
this doesn't end well.

For who?

For them.

You can't bet on yourself,
Haysey. That's match-fixing.

Let's do it.

Heron, it's been too long.

Good to see you, Gus.

Apple.

This is Kamp Billy,
the Prince of Fernando Po.

Your Highness.

He's agreed to help us.

Forgive me, but...

I have a peculiar feeling
that we've met before.

I get that a lot.
I'm extremely well-traveled.

No, no.
It's a particular sense.

I don't suppose
you played cricket, did you?

Captained Eton. '21 to '22.

I knew I knew your face!

Right next
to the trophy cabinet.

An eight-foot-tall
huge portrait.

Yes, exactly that!

One eye on the boundary...

...one eye on the pub.

Bloody glad to have you aboard.

Bloody good
to be here, old boy.

I'm very bored

with these Nazis making
a nuisance of themselves.

I mean,
it's terrible for business.

I'm only too pleased

to help you
serve them a bloody nose.

That's a commendable attitude.

So, what's your plan?

Apple.

We're going
to sink the Duchessa,

plus the two tugs.

Crippling Hitler's
Atlantic fleet of U-boats.

Very good.

The thing is,
our old friends the Nazis

aren't making it the easiest.

We're outnumbered
two hundred to five.

There's a few more soldiers
than we anticipated.

I think that we're gonna have

to find ourselves
a few more strapping lads.

Ade...

Right...

Yes, I think that will do.

We brought some weapons
if you need.

You hold onto those.
We brought our own.

Oyah!
Show them the iron!

Marvelous.

You do know
the Duchessa is

more than 200 feet
from the harbor side?

And she's in full glare
of the lights.

She's not gonna be easy to sink

without attracting
unwanted attention.

Yes. That's why Heron
will plant a bomb

to blow the lights,
before we paddle in

and rig the hull
with explosives.

By the time
the explosives detonate,

we'll be heading home.

If I had it my way,
a shot'll never be fired.

And how often
do you have it your way?

Depends on who you ask, old boy.

Gentlemen...

- Ade.
- Chief.

- Prepare the men.

I'll take that 20
whenever you're ready, Freddy.

The Duchessa
will be gone by the morning.

- Can you manage that?

It's two wires and a tick-tock.

I'm sure I can cope.

It's not me you should be
worried about.

I've never
taken a Nazi to a party.

Just don't end up
at one of his parties.

Don't worry about me.

I'm gonna have
my own little party.

Drink for the boys,
on His Majesty's government.

Ordinarily,
I'd bite your hand off,

as I have been known
to love a pound note.

But on this occasion,

the drinks are on me.

However,

if His Majesty's government
was handing out titles...

You're already a prince,
old boy.

There's Prince
of Fernando Po, but...

a Knight of the Realm
has a certain antiquity to it.

Arise, Sir Kamp Billy.

You're a good man, Gus.

Good luck, Billy.

Hola!

Buenas tardes, companeros!

My Herr, you have a visitor.

Ta-da!

Cleopatra needs her Caesar.

Put it on.

Thank you, Timothy.

One second.

Timothy...

I have a counter offer.

Let's put
this dressing up aside.

It's for children.
And we are not children.

Let's make our own party.

A dark party.

A dark Nazi party.

With music, lubrication
and a handsome Nazi.

Since I've been here,

I've been bitten by things
that croak and slither,

scorpions nest in my boots
and I can't sleep

for the relentless howl
of jungle entropy.

Tonight,

I'm going to that party,
and you are taking me.

Now, put it on.

Oh.

Very well.

Ah! Hola!

We move when the lights go out.

All right, Ricardo,

today you're El Capitan.

Armando, the bar is yours.

Use it. Abuse it at your will.

That's why I love you.

Come with me, handsome.

I need you
to keep the men happy.

How happy?

Mmm.

Are the rats in the nest?

You won't find a German,
Spanish or Italian officer

anywhere else tonight.

Between the beer fest
at the harbor

and this little get-together,

that'll be 90% of the soldiers
away from the dock.

The charge is set
to blow the harbor lights

in 30 minutes.

Can you keep him here that long?

Silly boy, silly question.
Look at the dress.

Hi.

So, you call this a party?

This is just
the thin end of the wedge.

I've created a performance
just for you.

Well, I could show you
a real party.

Why do I care, Spaghetti?

Pizza.

Excuse me
while I powder my nose.

- What, again?

Don't panic, Caesar.
Brush up on your Italian.

Your gift needs to be wrapped.

Keep those officers
drinking, please.

- Of course. Okay.
- Thank you, Femi.

The Duchessa's hull
has been reinforced.

It won't sink.

We need to stop the mission.

That's going to be hard to do.

Listen to me.

Our mission will fail.

The explosives won't work

because he's reinforced it
to be unsinkable.

You have to stop them now.

But the charge is about
to blow the lights.

Well, if you can't
stop the lights,

stop the men.

Luhr must not leave this party.

I'll keep him busy. Go, now.

And we're off.

Gus, wait.

Stork to Maid,
Stork to Maid, come in.

Channel five.

This is Maid. Switching to 20.

Go ahead.

Tin of corned beef
can't be cracked.

The ship cannot be sunk.

Explosives will fail.

It's Stork, sir.

Put him on open speaker.

Corned beef
can't be cracked.

Stork, this is M.

Never mind the corned beef.
Just find a way.

- Over.
- Pound incoming, sir.

-Repeat...
- Switch that off.

- We must...

Stop this immediately.

What you are doing ends now,

or every last one of you
will be subject to a tribunal.

Is that clear?

I don't know what
you're talking about, sir.

Is that correct, Sergeant?

Hold position.

How long, Stork?

-Awaiting orders.
- Give me that.

Stand by.

March-Phillips,

this is Admiral Pound
giving you a direct order.

Abort this mission now.

I will make sure that

none of you see
the light of day again.

You will spend
the rest of your lives

locked up
at His Majesty's pleasure.

That includes all of you.

Geoffrey Appleyard,

Anders Lassen,

- Freddy Buzz...
-I'm sorry...

...and Henry Hayes.

Can't quite make out

- what you're saying.

Bye.

- Is... Is that clear?

Sorry? What?

I can't...
I can't quite hear you.

Please... fuck off.

You and your operation
are reckless, Brigadier.

I will personally
advise parliament

to have the Prime Minister
removed from office.

And I am going to shut you down.

Message received
loud and clear, sir.

I suggest you also
fuck off, Sergeant.

Fleming, contact March-Phillips.

Lily, get me
the Prime Minister on hotline.

-Right away, sir.
- Come in, 01.

Come in, do you receive?

- Yes?
-Prime Minister,

I'm afraid
we've been discovered.

There was a mole in our midst

and Admiral Pound

has ordered the mission
to be aborted.

He wants to have parliament
remove you from office.

The mission must continue.

01, this is base. Over.

Tell Pound
if he has a problem,

to take it up with me.
He knows where I live.

Tell the men to press on.

I'm afraid we've lost
all communication, sir.

There must be
something that we can do.

The only thing
I can do is remind you,

the reason
we chose March-Phillips

is because
he doesn't follow orders.

Then let's hope we chose well.

The Duchessa's hull
has been reinforced.

Which means she can't be sunk.

At least not with the amount
of explosives we're carrying.

Just wondering how and when
exactly this took place.

It's not important
how and when, it's happened.

Well, it is
kind of important, Gus.

I don't care
about the prison time,

but I do care about finishing
what we've started.

Thank you, Freddy.

There must be
some sort of mistake.

You can't just reinforce...

There's no mistake, Haysey.

I'm just lost about
how and when exactly...

- Enough!

Why don't we sink the tug boats?

Get rid of the shuttle
to the U-boats.

It's not enough.

They'll replace them in a week.

Why don't we steal them?

We can use Billy's boat

to drag the Duchessa
out of the harbor

and steal the other two
German tug boats

that service the U-boats.

And how are
we supposed to do that?

Not only is she double-plated,
weighing twice as much,

but you'd need a full crew
to move a ship that size.

The tug boats are the crew.

We tow the Duchessa
out to the ocean

and, well, steal the lot.

Then what?
We still can't sink them.

We don't need to.

We sail
into international waters

and hand everything
over to the Navy.

They're following us anyway,

so they'll be more than happy
to see us again.

And what about the anchor?

Have you seen the size of it?

If we're gonna
actually start to move her,

their S-boats
will catch us in seconds.

Well, what are you going to do

with all the explosives
you brought, Freddy?

We'll use them
to blow the anchor.

We'll rig the S-boats
so they can't follow,

rig the fuel reserve
that supplies the U-boats,

and then, well, blow the lot up.

That fuel explosion's
gonna bring

everyone and their mother
down to the harbor.

We set the fuse,

so that the fuel dump blows
once we're outside the harbor.

Then we sneak out quietly.

Not bad.

It's very greedy.

- Well, I'm in.
-Well,

I'm not leaving until I have
a barrel full of Nazi hearts.

I'll do whatever
you tell me to do, sir.

Gentlemen,

let's steal some boats.

Turns out she's double-plated,
so change of plans.

We're going
to steal the boats instead.

Is that even possible?

I'm not entirely sure.

But if you're up for it,
so are we.

And you know what that means.

A lot more blood
and a lot more sweat.

Hopefully not any of ours,
old boy.

I don't think we can do this
without you, Billy.

Well, I'm up for it if you are.

I think we're gonna
need your tug.

Haysey and I will
take a stroll along the harbor

and take out
any soldiers still patrolling.

Freddy will bring
his dinghy around

and take care of the S-boats.

We'll meet you by the tug boats.

And the Duchessa?

That's Apple and me.

We'll take care of any crew
and blow the anchor.

And destroy their comms.

Not sure
what you'll meet on board.

Take my top boy
and two more of my men.

Gentlemen, let's prepare.

♪ Oh, the shark, babe

♪ Has such teeth, dear

♪ And he shows them
pearly white

♪ Just a jack-knife

♪ Has old MacHeath, dear

♪ And he keeps it out of sight

♪ You know
when that shark bites

♪ With his teeth, dear

♪ Scarlet billows
starts to spread

♪ Fancy gloves, oh,
wears old MacHeath, dear

♪ So there's never,
never a trace of red

♪ On the sidewalk

♪ On Sunday morning,
don't you know

♪ Lies a body

♪ Oozing life

♪ And someone sneakin'
around the corner

♪ Could that be
old Mack the Knife?

♪ There's a tug boat

♪ Down by the river,
don't cha know

♪ Where a cement bag's
just a-drooping on down...

Not yet.

Mein Herr.

Haysey...

Up there
on the left, sir.

Yes.

He made a crash!

We could take that car, sir.
Save us some shoe leather.

♪ Look out, old Macky is back ♪

Incoming.

Papers please.

- Commander.
- All good, Freddy?

Charges are set to go

once we're out
of the harbor, sir.

Let's carry on then.

Did you enjoy your gift?

Mmm.

I think now it's time

that the fox shows his den
to the vixen.

Heron, why are
the lights still on?

I lit the room with oil lamps,

so they wouldn't notice
when the power went out.

- Look out!

Freddy, rig this 88,

then take the first tug
with Haysey.

- Gute nacht.
- Guten abend.

Guten abend.

Terribly sorry, old boy.

- Do you mind? I seem to...

- ...have misplaced my knife.

- Bugger!

Thank you, Billy.

- Oh!

I hope that's
not your blood, Lassen.

I hope so too.

Okay, boys, cast off.

Let's get this ship out of here.

Go on. Go on...

Go on!

There's three
more rooms just like this one.

That should stop the U-boats
for the next six months.

Let's get this thing
towed out of here.

We are here, boys.

Quietly. Let's set a warning.

I need you to go
to the front of the boat

and attach the Vulcan
to the Duchessa,

Lassen and I
will head to the bridge.

Okay.

Take the right side.

And you, get up there
and get this thing started.

It's Gus.

Everyone's in place.

What,

you didn't actually think
it would work, did you?

It was your plan.

Well, let's make sure

we keep our end of the bargain.

Signal back and I'll heave off.

So, what happens now?

We wait for
the anchor chain to blow.

When do
we expect that to happen?

- Shortly, I hope.

And then we're free to take her.

However, the real race begins
once the fuel depot goes.

Then we'll have every soldier
on the island turning up.

We don't wanna
be around to witness that.

How long was that fuse

you attached
to the anchor chain?

We'll find out soon enough.

Wait for it,
you're gonna catch the rope.

Come on.

First domino falls.

- Hitch up the other line.
- Yes, boss.

Pick up the slack.

They need to move her
before the fuel dump blows.

Heron, we need Marjorie.

Leave Marjorie to me.

We'll catch you up.

Very good.

Let's go!

I have to say, Fraulein,

you were good.

And you were sly.

There are only
two types of people

that are as sly as the fox.

The German

and the Jew.

And you are not German.

I think now it's time...

- ...for a real party.

That wasn't
supposed to happen yet.

Shackle her!

And follow me.

The harbor is under attack!

They're coming.

We need power on the engine.

- She's too heavy!
- Pick up the slack!

Wait...

She's not moving!

Fire! Fire! Fire!

Wait for it.

We need
more power on the engine.

Give me more power! More power!

That's it, it's working!

- That's it!

Ready!

- Haysey!

We're out of range now.

- I'm no expert.

But you've got a big old hole
in your shoulder, Haysey.

Captain,

would you explain to me
what's going on here?

The power is gone.

The fuel depot
has been sabotaged.

And no one knows
what's happening.

But this is your fault.

Where is my ship?

The Duchessa, where did it go?

Someone's taken him
while you weren't looking.

You idiot!

You always have to say something

at the very wrong time.

There is never
a right time with you!

Your greed and perversion

has distracted you
from your duties.

Now my harbor is destroyed.

And my ship is gone!

And now you're gone too.
Thank you.

Impressive.

Sounds like
your detonators worked.

Chapeau, mademoiselle.

You play well.
You really are the vixen.

Am I?

Well, my hand's been revealed.

So, what now?

Now, I possess your hand

and for everything
you have done to me,

I will visit
a thousand fold upon you.

Yeah.

But no.

- Lie down.

Gus, we can't wait much longer.

They're coming.

If we stay here,

we'll lose contact
with the others.

Hold fast, Billy.

Heron has a way of surviving
and Marjorie,

well... good luck with that.

That's a patrol boat
coming towards us.

- Gus, we need to leave. Now.

Hold on...

It's them.

RH.

- KB.
-Marjorie.

Overdressed and underdressed
at the same time.

Come on, let's get you
out of those shackles.

Come in, Violet.

Calling H.M.S. Violet.

Come in, Violet.

This is Maid Honor.

Go ahead, Maid Honor.

- Loudspeaker.

Sorry to bother you
at this time of the night,

but we've found ourselves
with one or two items

that might be
of interest to you.

Shall we rendezvous
for a handover?

Get me Admiral Pound.

- Yes?
Sir,

- good news and bad news.
- Yes, yes. Get to it.

Bad news, they didn't sink her.

Good news,

they stole her.

Congratulations, Prime Minister.

Hold it there!

Commander.

You were ordered
by Admiral Pound

to cease activities.

You did not.

Therefore, you are
to be returned to England

to face a tribunal. You.

Return to your tug
with the rest of your militia.

- Take them to the brig.
-Sir!

Good to see you too, Commander.

Separate cells.

Follow me!

Let's go! Let's get moving!

- RH.
- KB.

Come on.

Go on, move.

One moment, seaman.

Billy.

One eye on the boundary...

One eye on the pub.

They'll thank you
for this one day.

I'm not sure

that's what we were
really looking for, was it,

Your Highness?

Shop's open
for you anytime, Major.

Sorry to intrude,
Prime Minister,

but M thought
you should see this.

Thank you, Gloria.

-Line up. Face front!

Line up. Face front!

No need to shout.

Stand still!

Any chance of a cup of tea?

You, back up to the wall.

Off the cloth, moth.

Stand straight!

Never before
have the senior Military

and Navy Commanders
of this country

been so united
in their condemnation.

It is their view

that the discipline

on which
our armed forces depends

has been undermined
by men serving no master

but their own thirst
for blood, murder and mayhem.

Men who disobeyed a direct order

from the Admiral
of the fleet himself,

and chose instead

to trust the whim and intuition

of the man standing beside him.

How dare they.

When only this morning,

the first American soldiers
arrived on British soil,

ready to stand
shoulder to shoulder

with us in Europe.

Allies who risked death
crossing the North Atlantic,

and only by some miracle

found their crossing
untroubled by Nazi U-boats.

A happy circumstance,
I might add,

which cannot be accounted for,

but which has cleared the way
for the United States

to enter the European war.

And for which I know

President Roosevelt
to be immeasurably grateful.

But setting aside

this stroke
of unexplained fortune,

what is to be done
with this unruly company

who do not obey orders?

Who seem to have formed

their own ministry
of ungentlemanly warfare.

From now on, they work for me.