Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[♪]

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

[GARGLING]

YES, MOM.

YEAH, NO, I'M GOING TOWEAR THE SHOES.

NO, NO, NO,I CAN'T WEAR THOSE.

I WORE THOSE ON BLACK FRIDAYAND CYBER MONDAY.

YES, I LOVE YOU, TOO.

[♪]

MERRY CHRISTMAS, SIR!

OOH, EXCUSE ME.

ARE YOU DONEWITH THE CROSSWORD?

THANK YOU.

HEY, WINDOW-WASHER.

HEY, WINDOW-DRESSER!

WELL, ASSISTANTWINDOW DRESSER,

BUT THANKS FOR THE UPGRADE.

"NINE-LETTER WORDFOR SPANISH MOSS."

MISTLETOE.

OF COURSE.

I'M STUCK ON 13 DOWN.

YEAH...

I'M THINKING "CHAPLIN."

THAT WOULD WORK.

YOU SEEING THE BOSS

DRESSED LIKE THAT?

'TIS THE SEASON.

BESIDES, UNLIKE YOU,

THEY DIDN'T HIRE MEFOR MY LOOKS.

I'M A LOOKER. [CHUCKLES]

HAVE A GOOD ONE.

OKAY, LATTE,EXTRA FOAM.

AH, THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.

YEAH.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE READYTO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

I WOULD BE HAPPY TOTAKE OVER THE FRONT WINDOWS.

YOU DO THAT, AND I'LL BE HERETO WASH THEM FOR YOU.

THANKS, MAC.

GOOD LUCK.

[CHUCKLES]THANKS.

[SIGHING NERVOUSLY]

GOOD MORNING, MR. FITCH,HOW ARE YOU?

CUT THE SMALL TALK, SLOAN.

WORK TO DO.

[SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION]

HEY...

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

WELL, LET ME SEE.

OH, RIGHT, I WORK HERE.

YEAH, BUT YOU'RE NOT HEREFOR THE WINDOW JOB.

THE POSITION HASN'TBEEN FILLED YET, HAS IT?

[CHUCKLES]DON'T WORRY,

I'M SUREYOU'LL GET IT.

OH, I AM NOT WORRIED.

CANDY CANE?

NO, THANK YOU.

I HAD CANDY CANES FOR BREAKFAST.

OH, YUM.

OKAY, NOT THATIT'S GOING TO HELP,

BUT, UH, THAT SWEATERYOU'RE WEARING--

IS AWESOME. RIGHT?

BOUGHT IT ON 34TH STREET.

YEAH.

UM, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BEWEARING CLOTHES FROM McGUIRE'S.

YOU KNOW,SO, YOU MAY WANT TO...

TAKE THAT OFF.

OH, I SEEWHAT'S HAPPENING HERE.

I'M FLATTERED,HONESTLY,

BUT I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULDKEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP

STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL.

[LAUGHS]

THIS MAY BEA JOKE TO YOU,

BUT THIS IS NOTA JOKE TO ME.

THIS JOB IS ABOUTPROJECTING AN IMAGE, OKAY?

IT'S A RESPONSIBILITY.

WE'RE NOTDOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS.

WE'RE WINDOW DRESSERS.

MM-MM, MM-MM.

WE ARE VISUAL MERCHANDISERS.

ISN'T THAT KIND OF LIKECALLING THE TRASH GUY

A "GARBOLOGIST"?

NO.

[CLEARS THROAT]GOOD MORNING.

HOW ARE YOU? OKAY.

NOW, I'M SURE YOU'VE BOTH HEARD,

THAT OUR LOYALMISS JEFFERS,

OUR HEAD DESIGNERFOR TWO DECADES,

STABBED US IN THE BACK

AND WENT TO GO WORK FOROUR COMPETITORS,

TAKING HER PEOPLEAND HER SKETCHES,

AND LEAVING MEWITH EMPTY WINDOWS

AND LOW HANGING FRUIT,

A.K.A., YOU TWO.

SO, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME.

[SIGHS]

SO, OBVIOUSLY,

IT'S FAR TOO LATE TO FINDANY SUITABLE REPLACEMENTS.

[STAMMERING]I WOULD ACTUALLY...

I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPYTO STEP IN FOR MISS JEFFERS.

OH. OH...

WELL, THERE YOU GO,PROBLEM SOLVED, RIGHT?

NO, I REALIZE THAT I DON'T HAVEHER EXPERIENCE, PER SE.

NO.

BUT THREE OFTHE WINDOW IDEAS

THAT WERE IMPLEMENTEDOVER THE SUMMER,

THEY WERE MINE.

PARTIALLY MINE.

I GRADUATED FROM PARSONSWITH HONORS.

CARRY ON, SORRY.

OH. THANK YOU.

AND I HAVE BEEN WORKINGAT McGUIRE'S

FOR TWO YEARS NOW.

FOR TWO YEARS.

MY GOSH, THAT'S PRACTICALLYA LIFETIME, TWO YEARS.

I'VE BEEN HERE TWO MONTHS,AND IT FEELS LIKE A LIFETIME.

IT CERTAINLY DOES, JAKE.

IT FEELS LIKE A LIFETIME, YEAH.

[SIGHS WEARILY]

OKAY, GUYS, LISTEN,

CHRISTMAS IS IN 28 DAYS.

THAT'S TWO NEW WINDOWSEVERY WEEK

UNTIL THE JOLLY FAT GUYIN THE SUIT SHOWS UP, RIGHT?

SANTA![OTHERS BLUSTERING TO ANSWER]

SANTA CLAUS, THANK YOU.

I WAS GONNA SAY "SANTA".

I KNOW WE'VE BEEN THROUGHSOME REMODELING HERE,

BUT McGUIRE'S HAS 95 YEARSOF TRADITION WE HAVE TO UPHOLD,

AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET

SOME BLACK-HEARTED TURNCOATBRING US DOWN.

NO.

NO, BECAUSEOUR WINDOWS?

OUR WINDOWS ARE GOING TOGRAB PEOPLE OFF THE STREET,

AND TAKE THEIR BREATH AWAY--

SHOOP!BREATH RIGHT OUT OF THEM,

RUNNING INTO THE STOREWITH THEIR CREDIT CARDS.

"RIGHT, GET OUT OF MY WAY!"

RUNNING IN,BUYING THINGS.

LISTEN TO ME,THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

IF THE IMPOSSIBLEWERE TO HAPPEN,

AND ONE OF YOU TWOWERE TO IMPRESS ME,

YOU MIGHT JUST FIND YOURSELVESTHE NEXT MISS JEFFERS.

GOD HELP US!

THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY.

UM, I WON'T DISAPPOINT YOU.

GOOD.

I, ON THE OTHER HAND, MIGHT.

NO DOUBT YOU WILL,NO DOUBT YOU WILL.

PRESSURE'S ON,PRESSURE COOKER'S ON.

PRESSURE'S ON!

COME ON, GUYS,LET'S DO THIS.

WELL, HE'S FUN.

[♪♪]

NICE LEGS.

OR SHOULD I SAY "LEG."

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

SLOAN VAN DOREN.

MOM, I TOLD YOU THAT I CAN'T...

NO, YOU CAN'T CALL MEON MY CELL HERE.

I DON'T GET ANY RECEPTION.

I...

I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

IF IT'S NOT ONE THING,IT'S YOUR MOTHER, HUH?

[CHUCKLES]

SO, UH, THREE NAMES OR FOUR?

WHAT?

NO, LET ME GUESS,LET ME GUESS.

UM... MRS. BITSY HANOVER...

VAN DOREN JONES.

SHE'S IN THE GARDEN CLUB--

OH, AND ON THE BOARDOF SEVERAL CHARITIES.

WOW, YOU MUST BE PSYCHIC.

I AM.AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I SEE?

WHAT?

[SNAPS FINGERS]

ME AS THE FUTURE MISS JEFFERS.

AND 95 YEARS OF McGUIRE'SCOMES TO A SCREECHING HALT.

YOU KNOW,THERE ARE TWO WINDOWS.

WE COULD TEAM UP,POOL OUR IDEAS.

YEAH.

YEAH, OR, UM,

I COULD GET BOTH WINDOWS,

AND THEN YOU COULD GO BACKTO DOING THE SOCK DISPLAY

ON THE SECOND FLOOR.

OR I COULD GET BOTH WINDOWS,

AND YOU COULD GO BACK TO READING

"HOW TO WIN FRIENDSAND INFLUENCE PEOPLE."

[♪]

[JAKE]: AH, LIFESTYLESOF THE RICH AND SHAMELESS.

KENNY, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

IT'S KENNETH, ACTUALLY,

AND NO OFFENSE,BUT I DON'T SHAKE HANDS.

MM, TENNIS ELBOW?

NO. GERMS.

YES, IT'S FLU SEASON,

AND KENNETHCAN'T AFFORD TO GET SICK.

OH, ARE YOU SAYINGI MAKE PEOPLE SICK?

AT LEAST ONE, YEAH.

OUCH.

THANK YOU.

OKAY, YOU TWO.

WHOA!

[KNOCKS BRISKLY]

YOU DIDN'T DROPA DIME, DID YOU, KENNY?

NO.

LOSERS, WEEPERS.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW?

YAY.

LET'S GO.

I LIKE THIS GUY.

♪ OH, DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW

♪ IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH

♪ OVER THE FIELDS WE GO...

FLANDERS AND MISSYWANT TO MEET UP LATER.

OH, UM, I CAN'T.

I REALLY NEED TO GET HOMEAND START SKETCHING.

-IT'S EARLY.-I KNOW.

I'M... I'M SORRY.

OKAY, SO, UM,

TO CLARIFY,

IF YOU GET THIS,

YOU'LL BE WORKINGOVER THE HOLIDAYS?

WELL... YES.

SO, WHAT ABOUT ASPEN?

YEAH.

WE COULD...

WE COULD GO IN JANUARY--

AFTER NEW YEAR'S?

[LAUGHS]

EVERYONE WILL BE GONE BY THEN.

SO, WHAT, IT'S LIKE POMPEII?

THE ENTIRE TOWN VANISHES?

YEAH.

I MEAN, EVERYONE THAT MATTERS.

OH.

COME ON, NOBODY GIVES UPSKIING IN ASPEN

TO PUT UP BALLOONSIN SOME WINDOWS, SLOAN, NOBODY.

IT'S NOT JUST SOME WINDOW.

IT'S...IT'S MY CHANCE.

YOU KNOW, I COULD BEHEAD WINDOW DESIGNER

AT McGUIRE'S.

ANYWAY,

I PROBABLY WON'T GET IT.

I MEAN, THEY'LL MOST LIKELYGIVE IT TO JAKE.

NO, YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT.

I'LL HAVE MY DAD CALLOLD MAN MCGUIRE

WHO BELONGS TO OUR CLUB.

YOU'LL GET IT.

WHAT? NO.

NO, NO, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT.

SLOAN, THIS ISHOW THINGS HAPPEN.

PEOPLE CALL IN FAVORSALL THE TIME.

BUT, SEE, I DON'T WANT THISTO BE A FAVOR.

I NEED TO GET THIS ON MY OWN.

I CAN DO THIS.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ITFOR TONIGHT, FOLKS.

[SNORING SOFTLY]

JAKE?

JAKE...

WAKE UP, WE'RE DONE.

SORRY.

THANK YOU.

JAKE...

YOU HAVE UNTIL 10:00.

THANKS.

ALL RIGHT?

LOCK UP ON YOUR WAY OUT.

WILL DO.

MAJOR PROGRESSTONIGHT, EVERYBODY.

SEE YOU NEXT THURSDAY.

[SIGHING]

[♪]

NINE-LETTER WORDFOR SHREW?

UH... HARRIDAN?

FISHWIFE?

HEY, MAC.

BATTLEAXE.IT'S BATTLEAXE.

WHY DID YOU JUSTPOINT AT ME

AND SAY "BATTLEAXE"?

WHAT? OH, COME ON,IT'S A TERM OF ENDEARMENT.

A SOLDIER GOES TO WAR,HE NEEDS HIS BATTLEAXE, RIGHT?

-THANKS, HONEY.-YEAH, THANKS, HON'.

HEY, DON'T. NO.

COME ON, WHAT HAPPENED TOTHAT CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?

ALL RIGHT,THE BIGGER QUESTION IS

WHY IS AN ADULTEATING A GINGERBREAD MAN

AT 7:30IN THE MORNING?

ADULT?

OH, THANK YOU.

I'M FORGETTING SOMETHING.WHAT AM I FORGETTING?

DON'T LOOK AT ME.I DON'T KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS.

IT'S WEDNESDAY.

IT'S THURSDAY.

WHAT?HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

SO, UH, BIG NIGHTWITH YOU AND SIR KENNETH?

NO. SKETCHING,ACTUALLY

OH, SKETCHING.

YES. FOR THE WINDOW?

[SNAPS FINGERS]THAT'S WHAT I FORGOT.

PAPER.

I FORGOT PAPER.

YOU KNOW WHAT? SORRY.REAL QUICK.

WHAT?

GEE, THANKS.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

YOU'RE JUSTDOING THIS NOW?

INSPIRATION STRIKESWHEN IT STRIKES.

YEAH, NO,TAKE YOUR TIME.

YOU HAVE A WHOLE,OOH, SEVEN MINUTES.

YUP.

AH-AH-AH-AH...

OH, YOU'RE RIDICULOUS.

HEY, THAT'S GOOD,THAT'S GOOD.

A LITTLE SNOWMAN, MAYBE?

PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE,

CLEARLY, THIS ASSIGNMENTWAS ABOVE YOUR PAY GRADE.

WELL, EVERYTHING'SABOVE MY PAY GRADE.

NEEDLESS TO SAY,

I AM HAPPY TO REPORT

THAT YOU'RE NOT ENTIRELYVOID OF TALENT.

THANK YOU, MR. FITCH.

REALLY, SLOAN,

IS THERE NO END TOYOUR GRATUITOUS PLEASANTRIES?

OH, YEAH. THERE IS.

INSTALLATIONS BEGIN

TOMORROW NIGHT.

SO IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING

THAT THE ALARM WILL BE ON,

SO EXIT THROUGH THE ALLEY DOOR.

THE SYSTEM WILL BYPASSTHAT SPECIFIC EXIT

FOR TWO HOURS

AND THEN RE-ARM.

WE DON'T NEED ANOTHERHALLOWEEN FIASCO.

[SCOFFING]THAT WAS A FREAK ACCIDENT.

OKAY.

SOUTH WINDOW.

YES!

UM, THANK YOU, MR. FITCH,

AND, UM, WHICH ONEARE WE GOING TO GO FOR

IN THE NORTH WINDOW?

UH, NORTH WINDOW.

HEY!

I ACCEPT.

OH, THIS ISSO UNEXPECTED.

UH, I'D LIKE TO THANKMY THIRD GRADE ART TEACHER.

OF COURSE, I WOULDN'T BESITTING HERE TODAY

IF IT WEREN'T FOR THIS CHAIR...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I THOUGHT YOU SAIDTHAT ONLY ONE OF US WAS

WAS GOING TO GET TO REPLACEMISS JEFFERS.

OH, AND ONE OF YOU WILL.

THE ONE WHOSE BRINGS INTHE MOST CUSTOMERS

BETWEEN NOW AND CHRISTMAS.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,MR. FITCH,

I TAKE THISVERY SERIOUSLY.

I MEAN, I WAS UP ALL NIGHTWITH THOSE SKETCHES,

AND HE DID HISIN, LIKE, WHAT

10 MINUTESON THE CURB?

WELL, SEVEN,

BUT WHO'S COUNTING?

UM...

HIS DESIGN WAS BETTER.

IN FACT, HAD HE NOTSMEARED FROSTING

ON HIS SECOND NAPKIN,

HE MIGHT HAVE HAD BOTH WINDOWS.

OH.

THERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU.

[♪]

YOU LOOK TIRED,SWEETHEART.

SLEEP IS CRUCIALFOR WOMEN LIKE US.

LIKE US?

YOU KNOW,

THE UNMARRIED.

LOOK AT ME,

I GET MY NINE HOURS,NO MATTER WHAT.

ALARM COULD GO OFF

IN THE BUILDING,

MY HEAD STAYS ON THE PILLOW.

THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

NOT AS DANGEROUS

AS THAT LIPSTICKYOU'RE WEARING.

THOSE RED HUESTOTALLY WASH YOU OUT.

YOU'RE A FALL,NOT A WINTER.

KNOCK 'EM DEAD.

UH-HUH.

THANK YOU, RITA.

WHAT, NO TIPFOR ALL THAT ADVICE?

OH.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

HOW COULD I NOT?

LOOK AT ALL THESESURROUNDINGS.

IF YOU DON'T MINDME SAYING SO, DEARIE,

THAT SCARF DOESN'T DO YOUANY JUSTICE.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE DISPLAYON THE THIRD FLOOR?

I'M JUST TRYINGTO BE HELPFUL.

WHOA.

[SIGHS]

HOLD THE DOOR!

WHOA, WHOA! AH...

M'LADY.

THANK YOU, DARLING.

WHERE YOU HEADED?

HOUSEWARES.

COOKING DEMONSTRATIONBY ANY CHANCE?

BEST APPETIZERSIN THE HOUSE.

AND ON THE HOUSE.

I JUST HOPE THEY HAVETHAT PLUM PUDDING TODAY.

NO, PLUM PUDDINGIS TUESDAYS.

TODAY IS CANDIED YAMS.

WEDNESDAY AND FRIDAY ARETHOSE HONEY-BAKED HAM THINGS.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU COULD USEA HOMECOOKED MEAL.

YEAH, IT'S A LITTLEMORE EXPENSIVE HERE

THAN I'M USED TO.

McGUIRE'S?

NEW YORK.

AH, AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH.

[LAUGHS]

TALK TO YOU.THANK YOU.

HEY.

[THEY CONTINUE CHATTING]

[♪]

GOOD NIGHT, MAC.

GOOD NIGHT, RITA.

[CARD LOCK BEEPS]

CONGRATS ON THE WINDOW.

OH, THANK YOU.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVETHAT HE GOT THE OTHER ONE.

HE THINKS THIS JOB IS A JOKE.

WELL, MAYBEIT JUST SEEMS THAT WAY.

YOU KNOW, THE THINGTHAT GETS ME THOUGH IS,

HE'S GOOD, YOU KNOW?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW MUCHABOUT DESIGN,

BUT I'VE SEENA LOT OF WINDOWS IN MY DAY,

AND I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING,

WHEN MISS JEFFERSSTARTED HERE,

SHE WASN'TALL THAT GOOD.

REALLY?

NO.

HER FIRST CHRISTMAS WINDOWWAS A STYROFOAM SNOWMAN.

OH, NO.

[CHUCKLING]YEAH.

WITH A CARROT NOSE,AND THE TWO EYES OF COAL?

JUST ONE.THE OTHER ONE FELL OUT.

OH, NO! [LAUGHS]

BUT SHE TOOK THIS ART CLASS,

AND SHE GOT IN TOUCHWITH HER CREATIVE SIDE.

HMM.

WELL,

MY JOB IS DONE.

AH, WISH I COULDSAY THE SAME.

AN ALL-NIGHTER?

YEAH.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

OH, JUST ANOTHER NIGHT AT HOME.

NO HOT DATE?

MORE LIKE COLD LEFTOVERSAND A GOOD BOOK.

[JAKE'S LAUGHTER REVERBERATESTHROUGH THE WALLS]

[LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY]

[TELEVISION BLASTING]

OH, HEY.

YOU EVER SEE THIS ONE?

AW, IT IS A CLASSIC.

HMM.

[JAKE LAUGHING]

YEAH, MAYBE WHEN I WAS 7.

AW, IT'S FUNNIER NOW.

WHAT'S REALLY FUNNY

IS THAT YOU, UM,YOU HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED.

I STARTED.

I PLUGGED IN THE TV.

WOW, NICE SKYLINE.

JUST...

GO BACK TO YOUR CARTOON.

I WANT TO SEEWHAT YOU DO NEXT.

WILL IT BE...

THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING?

OR THE STATUE OF LIBERTY?

HMM...

I KNEW IT.

THAT LOOKS HEAVY.

LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.

THANK YOU.

NO, TAKE IT.

COME ON, TAKE IT.I INSIST.

NO, I CAN MANAGE.THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT!

I'LL BE OVER HEREIF YOU NEED ME,

HANGING OUT.

ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT,

I THINK I WORK BETTERWITH AN...

AUDIENCE...

OH.

BOY.

IT'S LIKE WORKINGIN A FISHBOWL.

AH...

I SEE YOU WENT WITHLESS IS MORE.

AND I SEE YOU WENT WITHMORE IS MORE.

WELL, LOUDERGRABS PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW, UNDERSTATEDELEGANCE, THOUGH,

JUST TAPS THEMON THE SHOULDER.

YOURS IS GOOD.

NORTH POLE, WIFI,VERY CLEVER.

SO'S YOURS.

SIMPLE AND TO THE POINT.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

OH, THIS GUY AGAIN?

DOES HE HAVE TODRIVE BY HERE EVERY DAY?

HIS OFFICEIS UP THE STREET.

I THOUGHT HE WORKEDOUT OF HIS CAR.

HI!

YOU LOOK LIKEYOU'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT.

[CHUCKLES] YEAH.UM, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OH.

HUH...

VERY CLEVER.

OH, THANK YOU.

NO, NOT THAT ONE,IT'S THE OTHER ONE.

OH, RIGHT.

YEAH, THAT ONE, UM...

THAT ONE LOOKS GREAT, TOO.

LOOK, I'M LATE FOR WORK.

DRINKS LATER?

YEAH.

OKAY.

BYE.

[JAKE]: BYE.

HE DOESN'T LIKE MINE.

AH, WHAT DOES HE KNOW?HE'S A SUIT.

YEAH, HIS FAMILY'S

ON THE BOARDOF THE GUGGENHEIM.

NEVER HEARD OF IT.

COME ON, I'LL LET YOUBUY ME A FA LA LATTE.

OH, THIS DAY JUSTKEEPS GETTING BETTER.

SEE YOU LATER.

[SIGHING HEAVILY]

I HAVE A MILLION OTHER PLACESI COULD BE RIGHT NOW.

OH, NAME TWO.

HOW ABOUTHUMAN RESOURCES,

PICKING UPYOUR SEVERANCE CHECK, HUH?

SHOULD I GO ON?

NOPE, WE'RE GOOD.

OKAY. LISTEN,

IF SOMEONECOMES INTO THE STORE

AFTER SEEINGONE OF THESE DISPLAYS,

THERE IS A 50% GREATER CHANCE

THAT THEY'RE GOING TO MAKEA PURCHASE.

WAIT, DOES THATEVEN MAKE SENSE?

YES, IT MAKES SENSE, JAKE.

-UH, ARE SALES UP, MR. FITCH?-MARGINALLY.

-OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.-THAT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT.

SLOAN,

YOUR WINDOW WAS PLEASANT, OKAY?

BUT PLEASANTMAKES PEOPLE SMILE...

SMILING IS GOOD, RIGHT?

NO, NOT IF THEY SMILE

AND KEEP WALKING DOWN THE STREETTO THE NEXT STORE, OKAY?

YOU'RE HERE TO CREATE

THE DESIRE TO SHOP, OKAY?

SO, BRING PEOPLE IN,

OTHERWISE I'M GOING TO HAVE TOGIVE NAPKIN KING HERE

YOUR WINDOW, TOO.

JUST THE WAY IT GOES.

OKAY?

[SIGHS WEARILY]

AREN'T YOU GOING TO GLOAT?

NO. I LIKED YOUR WINDOW.

ARE YOU FINISHED WITH THIS?

JUST GOING TOBORROW THIS REAL QUICK.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSEI CAN GET YOU, SIR?

I COULD GO FOR A SANDWICH.

[QUIETLY]: I'LL TELL YOUWHERE YOU CAN GO.

[♪♪]

OH, NO.

MAC SENT YOU HERE, TOO?

APPARENTLY, HE WANTS USTO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER.

YES, BECAUSE, CLEARLY,NINE HOURS A DAY ISN'T ENOUGH?

HEY, IF YOU WANT TO SEE MEAFTER HOURS,

JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT.

I AM SO DONEBRINGING HIM COFFEE.

[LAUGHS]

EASELS, EVERYONE.

JAKE, WE'RE STARTING.

TODAY, WE WILL BEFOCUSING ON...

THE EYES.

WINDOWS TO THE SOUL.

OKAY.

NEW STUDENT?

UM, NO, I'M... NO.

DON'T BE SHY.

WE'RE ALL VERYSUPPORTIVE HERE.

HAVE A SEAT.

WE'LL SET YOU UPWITH A SKETCH PAD...

HAVE A SEAT.

GET YOU ALL SET UP.

PIECE OF CHARCOAL,YOU ARE READY TO DRAW.

OKAY.

KILL THE SMILE, JAKE.IT'S VERY DISTRACTING.

ALL RIGHT,HEADS UP, EVERYBODY,

NEXT SESSION,

WE WILL BE FOCUSING ON...

THE UPPER TORSO.

JUST A HEADS-UPON THAT ONE.

JAKE, OF COURSE,WILL BE HITTING THE GYM,

HE'LL BE DOINGCRUNCHES GALORE.

[♪]

I KNOW, I'LL BE OUT OF HEREBY 10:00.

AND KILL THE LIGHTS.

YOU LEFT THEM ONLAST TIME.

I DID?

20 BUCKS, HUH?

YOU ARE A SUPERMODEL.

WELL, I DO ITFOR THE STUDIO TIME.

NOT THAT I WOULDTURN DOWN 20 BUCKS.

WOW...

I DIDN'T KNOWI WAS SO GOOD-LOOKING.

I ASSUME THIS MEANS

YOU'LL BE STICKING AROUNDFOR THE UPPER TORSO THEN?

YOU ASSUME WRONG.

I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

IF IT'S THE UPPER TORSO,THANKS, I PASS.

NO.

LESS SPECTACULAR THAN THAT.

MUCH LESS, IN FACT.

[SIGHS NERVOUSLY]

I DON'T KNOWHOW TO FINISH IT.

I DIDN'T KNOWYOU WERE A PAINTER.

IT'S ALL I EVER WANTED TO BE,

EVER SINCE I DISCOVEREDTHE ART SECTION AT THE LIBRARY.

ANDREW WYETH.

YEAH, "CHRISTINA'S WORLD."

YOU KNOW IT?

YEAH, I HAD THAT PAINTING

ON MY BEDROOM WALLIN HIGH SCHOOL.

ME TOO.

OF COURSE,WHERE I'M FROM,

NOBODY ACTUALLYBECOMES A PAINTER

UNLESS THEY'RE PAINTINGTHE SIDE OF A BARN.

YOU'RE NOTFROM THE CITY?

MAINE.

HUH.

A TOWN THE SIZE OF THIS ROOM.

RIGHT NOWMY FAMILY IS TAKING BETS

ON WHEN I'LL BE HOME

WITH MY TAIL BETWEEN MY LEGS.

[SIGHS]

ANYWAY, HOW MANY PEOPLEREALLY MAKE IT IN THE ART WORLD?

MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT.MAYBE I SHOULD GIVE UP.

DON'T.

NO, YOU'RE...YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.

[CHUCKLES]

THANK YOU.

YEAH. HUH.

ANYWAY, UH,

I SHOULD GO.

I'M LATE FOR...

FOR...FOR A POLO MATCH?

HIGH TEA?

DINNER WITH MOM.

AH, WELL, GIVE MY BESTTO MUFFY TOTTINGHAM VAN DOREN.

OH, AND, UH,

BRING ME A DOGGY BAG.

NO.

OKAY.

HEY, THIS FAUCETIS LEAKING AGAIN.

DID YOU CALLMAINTENANCE?

OH, THEY DON'T KNOWFROM FAUCETS.

OH, WHAT'S WITH THE LIPSTICK?

I THOUGHT WE COVERED THAT.

DON'T START, MOM.

LET'S GO.

I AM STARVING.

AH, THERE'S NOTHING LIKETHE SMELL OF A PLASTIC TREE,

RIGHT, UNCLE JIMMY?

[CHUCKLES]

HEY!

I CAN RE-USE IT, ANDI DON'T HAVE TO WATER IT.

YEAH, BECAUSE IT WOULDBE SUCH A CHORE

TO WATERA TWO-FOOT TREE.

THERE ARE TREES OUTSIDE.

LISTEN,

HOW'S THAT JOB OF YOURS GOING,DRESSING UP THOSE DUMMIES?

DIDN'T SHE TELL YOU?

SHE GOT THE CHRISTMAS WINDOWS.

IT'S JUST ONE WINDOW.

BUT IT'S A BIG WINDOW.

ACTUALLY,THEY'RE THE SAME SIZE.

WELL, WHATEVER,WE'RE PROUD OF YOU, KID.

THANK YOU.

HEY, WHERE'SAUNT DORIS?

SHE'S WORKING.

I HAD TO COME OVERAND FIX YOUR MOM'S SINK.

AND EAT MEOUT OF HOUSE AND HOME.

IT WOULD BE CHEAPERTO HIRE A REAL PLUMBER.

OH...

WELL, BE MY GUEST.

DID I TELL YOU

I RODE THE ELEVATORWITH THAT CUTE JAKE TODAY?

YES, YOU MAY HAVE MENTIONED ITTHREE OR FOUR TIMES.

HE'S VERY SWEET.

YES, HE'S A REAL CHARMER.

GOOD-LOOKING, TOO.

[SIGHS]

BETTER LOOKINGTHAN THAT KENNY.

OKAY.

KENNETH.

[CLEARS THROAT]

AND YOU'VE NEVER MET HIM.

THIS KENNETH,DOES HE MAKE A LIVING?

HE'S FROM A BIG SHOTBANKING FAMILY.

OH, FANCY.

HE'S TOO FANCYTO MEET US.

OKAY, I WILL INTRODUCE YOUWHEN THINGS GET MORE SERIOUS.

IT'S BEEN THREE MONTHS.

YOUR FATHER AND I MARRIEDAFTER TWO WEEKS.

YES, AND WE ALL KNOWHOW WELL THAT WORKED OUT.

WE HAD FUN WHILE IT LASTED.

WHEN YOU KNOW,YOU KNOW.

FISH OR CUT BAIT.

AND YOU WONDER WHY

YOU SCARED OFFMY LAST BOYFRIEND.

YOU WERE TOO GOOD FOR HIM.

UNCLE JIMMY, UM,

YOU GONNA EATTHAT LAST MEATBALL?

YES.

AND STAY AWAY FROM MY PLATE.

I'M JUST ASKING.

AUNT DORIS,

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TOBE WORKING!

[RITA LAUGHING]

GEEZ, JIMMY, HOW MANY TIMESARE YOU GONNA FALL FOR THAT?

[LAUGHING]

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

IT NEVER FAILS.

[♪♪]

REMEMBER, SHOPPERS,

McGUIRE'S HAS ALLYOUR HOLIDAY DECORATING NEEDS.

HEY.

WOW, YOU LOOK NICE.

NICE ENOUGHTO CONVINCE YOU TO JOIN ME?

UH, I CAN'T.

I'M INSTALLING ALL NIGHT.

AGAIN?

YEAH. SORRY.

YOU REALIZE

I'LL BE THE ONLY GUYAT THE CLIENT DINNER

WITHOUT A PLUS ONE.

WELL, I COULD LOAN YOUA MANNEQUIN.

OR TWO.

YOU COULD BE A PLUS TWO.

YEAH, I DON'T THINKTHAT WOULD GO OVER TOO WELL

WITH THE PARTNERS.

I'M FREE TOMORROW NIGHT.

I'M GOING TO THE KNICKS GAMEWITH FLANDERS.

LUNCH?

MERGERS MEETING.

RIGHT...

I'LL CALL YOU.

SHE'LL BE WAITINGANXIOUSLY BY THE PHONE.

BYE.

BYE.

[♪]

CHRISTMAS COOKIESFROM THE CAFE?

YAY, COOKIES!

WHAT DID YOU GET?

OH.

THANKS, MAC.

HEY, WHAT DO WEHAVE HERE?

A PARTRIDGEIN A PEAR TREE?

OH, COME ON.

OH, COME ON,GIVE ME A LOOK.

OH, WHAT?

LIKE I'M GOING TOSTEAL YOUR IDEAS?

WELL, THERE'S ONLY SO MUCHYOU CAN WRITE ON A NAPKIN.

TRUE,

BUT WHEN I'M OUT OF NAPKINS,THERE'S ALWAYS PAPER TOWELS,

TISSUE PAPER...

YOU DO KNOW THAT BICKERINGIS A SIGN OF AFFECTION.

[LAUGHS]

NOT IN THIS CASE.

NO, IT'S A SIGNOF INSECURITY,

ON HER PART.

I'M-I'M INSECURE?

THAT'S WHYYOU OVER-PREPARE.

IT'S FINE,IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

OVER-PREPARE!

YOU TWO CARRY ONLIKE ME AND MY WIFE.

I MEAN, WE HAD A DISAGREEMENTOVER EVERYTHING,

AND LOVED EACH OTHERTILL THE DAY SHE DIED.

IT'S SO QUIET WITHOUT HER.

AND DO YOU KNOWWHAT I MISS MOST?

HAVING SOMEONE TO BICKER WITH.

THINK OF THAT.

GOOD NIGHT,YOU TWO.

GOOD NIGHT, MAC.

HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN ALONE?

FOUR YEARS.

HE WAS MARRIED FOR 30.

[CHUCKLES SADLY]

IT WOULD BEREALLY GREAT

FOR HIM TO HAVE SOMEBODYTO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH.

YEAH, IT WOULD.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪]

[EVERYONE CHATTINGAND CHUCKLING]

PAGE 17.

WE HAVE A BLURB.

A BLURB.IS IT CONTAGIOUS?

"THE WAR OF THE WINDOWSAT McGUIRE'S."

"SALES ARE UPIN THE DEPARTMENT STORE,

YADA YADA, BLAH BLAH.

KUDOS, YOU TWO,

IT SEEMS THAT YOU'VE MANAGEDTO CAPTURE THE ZEITGEIST.

THE WHAT?

THE SPIRIT OF THE TIMES.

"ZEITGEIST."

GESUNDHEIT.

WOULD YOU SAY

THAT ONE WINDOWCAPTURED IT MORE?

NO. NO...

OH.

BUT I DO FEEL SEMI-CONFIDENTIN SAYING

THAT I THINK ONE OF YOU TWOWILL BE STEPPING

INTO MISS JEFFERS' SHOES

VERY SOON.

HEY, DOES SHE HAVE BIG FEET?BECAUSE I WEAR AN 11.

ALL RIGHT, 10 AND A HALF.

AND YOU SAY THATI AM THE INSECURE ONE?

[SCOFFS]

AH, FORGOT MY NAPKINS.

OH, WOW, WHAT A RELIEF.

CRISIS AVERTED.

HAH.

THE PERIMETER ALARMWILL SET IN FIVE MINUTES.

[WHISTLING NONCHALANTLY]

SORRY, JIMBO

GET IT BACK TO YOU IN THE A.M.

LOOKIN' GOOD, THOUGH.

[HUMMING MERRILY]

[GARGLING]

[SIGHS]

HOME SWEET HOME.

[♪]

[♪]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

THERE SHE IS.

I MISSED YOUTHIS MORNING.

HOUSEWARES HADFRITTATAS.

OH, NO,

DON'T TELL ME THAT.

I WAS AT THE LAUNDROMAT.

HERE, I GOT BROUGHT YOUSOMETHING MUCH BETTER.

HOME-COOKED.

MEATBALLS.

MEATBALLS ARRABIATA.

RITA, YOU ARETHE MOTHER I NEVER HAD.

OH, YOU NEVER HAD A MOTHER?

NO, I HAD ONE, SHE JUST,SHE MICROWAVES A LOT,

AND SHE'S KIND OFFAR AWAY.

MM. SO GOOD.

THANK YOU.

MY PLEASURE.

HOW ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?

WELL, YOU DON'T MEETA LOT OF ELIGIBLE MEN

IN THE LADIES' ROOM.

WELL, LET'S HOPE NOT.

HOW'S YOUR WINDOW GOING?

AH, NOT TOO BAD.

I'M HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLEWITH MY CO-WORKER.

ROMANTIC TROUBLE?

NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

SHE'S WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.

HMM.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?

TRUST ME, I'M NOT THE GUYSHE'S LOOKING FOR.

WELL, THIS IS ME.

THANKS AGAINFOR THE MEATBALLS.

YOU HAD ME AT ARRABIATA.

COME BY THE STORE,

IT'LL TAKE YOUALL OF 10 MINUTES.

WELL, HOW WOULD YOU LIKETO WORK ALL DAY

WITH A LEAKY FAUCET?

YES.

I WILL FEED YOU.

FINE, A POT ROAST.

AND POTATOES.

SEE YA.

IS THAT UNCLE JIMMY?

WHAT GAVE IT AWAY?

OKAY, SO I KNOW THAT

IT DOESN'T SMELL AS GOODAS THE PLASTIC TREE, BUT...

OH, HONEY, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

NOW I HAVE TO WATER IT.

I'LL WATER IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TIME.

IT'LL TAKE FIVE SECONDS.

PLUS, IT'S A LIVING TREE,SO WE CAN PLANT IT AFTERWARDS.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

AUNT DORISBROUGHT SOME TONGUE.

WE'RE NOT GOING TO EATAUNT DORIS' TONGUE.

SEE, SAYING THAT MAKES MEWANT TO GAG.

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU COOK.

I WAS IN A WINDOW ALL DAY.

I WAS IN A BATHROOM ALL DAY.

YOU WIN.

SO...

WHEN AM I EVERGOING TO MEET KENNETH?

OH, IT IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME.

WHY, ARE YOU IN A FIGHT?

NO.

NO, WE'RE NOT IN A FIGHT.

WE'VE NEVER EVEN HAD A FIGHT.

YOU HAVEN'THAD A FIGHT

BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEENHONEST WITH HIM.

INVITE HIMTO CHRISTMAS EVE EVE.

HE'S GOING SKIING.

WHY DON'T YOUINVITE JAKE?

HE HAS NOWHERE TO GO.

WHAT, ARE YOU TWO BFFs NOW?

IT'S CHRISTMAS,HE'S AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY.

I'M JUST SAYING.

I'M SAYING, DON'T MEDDLE.

UNCLE JIMMY'S MAKINGTUR-DUNKIN'.

YOU MEAN TURDUCKEN.

NO, "TUR-DUNKIN'."

TURKEY FRIEDIN DUNKIN' DONUT BATTER.

OH, MY GOD.

♪ TWO HEARTS SET ON FIRE

♪ TWO HEARTSSET ON FIRE ♪

♪ I WAS A KINGOF MOVE ALONG ♪

♪ SHE WAS THE QUEENOF SCARED AND STRONG ♪

♪ LOOKING OUT FOR NO ONE

♪ BUT OURSELVES

♪ I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A NAMEIN A HOPELESS TOWN ♪

♪ SHE WAS TIRED OF PLAYING GAMESWITH THE LOCAL CROWD ♪

♪ SURROUNDED BY SO MANY DREAMSLEFT ON THE SHELF ♪

♪ TWO HEARTS SET ON FIRELIKE SHOOTING STARS ♪

♪ THAT ONLY WE CAN SEE

♪ AND I'M FALLINGINTO THE DEEP END ♪

♪ CRASHING FASTERTHAN WE THOUGHT IT COULD BE ♪

♪ WE'RE TWO HEARTSSET ON FIRE ♪

♪ TWO HEARTS SET ON FIRE

♪ WE WERE HOLDING ONTO HOPEIT MAY BE SOMETHING MORE ♪

♪ ALWAYS LOOKING FORANOTHER OPEN DOOR ♪

♪ TRYING TO MAKE OUR WAYTHROUGH LIFE ♪

♪ THESE CITY STREETS

♪ TWO HEARTS SET ON FIRE

♪ LIKE SHOOTING STARSTHAT ONLY WE CAN SEE... ♪

GOOD MORNING, MAC.

OH, THANKS, HONEY.

WHAT IS SANTA'SWIFE'S NAME?

MARY.

AS IN "MARY CHRISTMAS."

NO, MARTHA.

TRY MARTHA CLAUS.

THAT COULD WORK.

HEY, SPEAKING OFAGE-APPROPRIATE WOMEN--

I'VE GOT JUST THE GIRLFOR YOU, MAC.

OKAY, RUN,

AND DO NOT LOOK BACK.

AH, SHE'S A HOTTIE.

AND SHE MAKES A KILLERMEATBALLS ARRABIATA.

YOU PROBABLY KNOW HER,SHE WORKS IN THE STORE.

LIKES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME,KIND OF LOUD. RITA.

THAT IS NOTWHAT HE NEEDS.

WHO DOESN'T NEEDA GOOD TIME?

NO, OKAY, MAC,IF YOU'RE LOOKING

TO GET BACKINTO THE GAME,

YOU JUST LET MEFIND YOU SOMEBODY.

THANK YOU BOTH VERY MUCH,

BUT I HAVE ALL I NEEDRIGHT HERE.

I HAVE McGUIRE'S.

ALL RIGHT,I'M KIND OF

STARTING TO WORRYABOUT YOU NOW.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIMEYOU HAD FEMALE COMPANY?

HEY, OKAY, AREN'T YOUGETTING A LITTLE PERSONAL HERE?

FACE IT.

ROMANCE IS FOR YOU YOUNG KIDS.

ACTUALLY, VAN DOREN'SNOT ALL THAT YOUNG.

I'M THE SAME AGE AS YOU.

REALLY?YOU SEEM OLDER.

OH, OKAY, WELL,WHEN YOU ACT 12,

I'M SURE EVERYONESEEMS OLDER.

ZING.

ALL RIGHT, FINE,I LOOKED.

[♪♪]

[CROWD TALKING EXCITEDLY]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU. FANTASTIC,ISN'T IT?

THIS IS OUR RECYCLED WINDOW.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE REALLY CONSCIOUS

ABOUT KEEPING EVERYTHING GREENHERE AT McGUIRE'S

AND EVERYTHINGIS RECYCLED IN IT.

THE SODA CANS,THE LED LIGHT ON RUDOLPH.

AND THAT WINDOWIS FANTASTIC, TOO.

THE SAYING, IT'S "HO-HO-HO."

SANTA SAYS, "HO-HO-HO,"

BUT WE JUST DID IT"YO-YO-YO" 'CAUSE OF THE KIDS.

THEY REALLY ARE INTOTHE WHOLE, "YO!"

ALL RIGHT,I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

THANK YOU FOR HELPING MECHRISTMAS SHOP.

OF COURSE.

CAN I SEE THIS ONE?

YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE.

MEGAN, THIS IS KENNETH...

MY PLEASURE.

MY BOYFRIEND.

I'M USUALLY IN COSMETICS.DROP BY FOR A SAMPLE.

OOH, I DON'TWEAR COLOGNE.

ALLERGIES.

I HAVE HYPO-ALLERGENIC.

THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

YOU LIKE THIS ONE?

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

TRY IT ON.

IT'S NOT A RING...

I'M JUST SAYING.

HEY, KENNETH,

YOU SHOULD USEHER EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT.

SHE GETS 15% OFF.

TECHNICALLY, HE CAN'T USEMY EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT,

UNLESS I BUY IT FOR YOU.

YOU DON'T MIND?

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC.

IN FACT, CHARGETWO OF THOSE.

UM, TWO?

YEAH. FOR MY PARTNERS' WIVES.

OH, UM...

YOU GIFT-WRAP, RIGHT?

-MM-HMM.-GREAT.

A REGULAR KNIGHTIN SHINING ARMOR.

YOU'RE STILL HERE?

I WORK HERE, REMEMBER?

THE SUPERMODEL-SLASH-VISUAL MERCHANDISER?

LOOK, IN CASEYOU'RE WONDERING,

I'M BUYING YOUR PRESENTSOMEWHERE ELSE.

WHO'S GOING TOSIGN FOR THAT?

GROUP HUG?

IN YOUR CASE,GROUP THERAPY.

LATER.

HOW DO YOUSTAND HIM?

IT IS AMAZINGWHAT A PERSON CAN GET USED TO.

MIGHT BE TIMETO HAVE MY FATHER

MAKE ANOTHERPHONE CALL.

WHAT?

KENNETH,WHAT DID YOU DO?

OKAY, FINE, I MAY HAVE HADMY FATHER MENTION YOU

TO OLD MAN MCGUIRE

AT THE CLUB, OKAY?

IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

I'M SURE YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTHIS WINDOW THING ANYWAY.

YEAH, ONLY NOWI WILL NEVER KNOW.

DOES IT MATTER?

YOU GOT A WINDOW,THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.

THEN WHY DO I FEEL SICKTO MY STOMACH?

LOOK, I'M SORRY, OKAY?

I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP.

I KNOW.

CAN WE PUT THISBEHIND US?

I GUESS.

OKAY, GREAT.

I'LL SEE YOUTONIGHT, THEN, OKAY?

GIFT RECEIPT.

AND DON'T BE LATE,

BECAUSE EVERYONE THEREIS EXPECTING TO MEET YOU.

BYE.

YOU LOOK NICE.

THANK YOU.

ACTUALLY,YOU LOOK PERFECT.

THANK YOU.

THAT'S, UM, THAT'SA COMPLIMENT, RIGHT?

WELL, DON'T TAKE THISTHE WRONG WAY,

BUT WHY DO YOU NEED ALL THATMAKEUP AND FAKE STUFF?

OH, YOU'RE SAYINGI LOOK FAKE?

NO, I'M SAYING THATYOU'RE MORE OF A NATURAL...

A NATURAL...

-WHAT'S THE EXPRESSION?-NATURAL BEAUTY?

NO, THAT'S NOT IT.

YEAH, YOU'RE MORE OFA NATURAL BEAUTY.

SO WHERE ARE YOU TAKINGKENNY FOR DINNER TONIGHT?

HA, HA, HA.

IT'S HIS FIRM'SCHRISTMAS PARTY.

WELL, DON'T GET STUCKWITH THE CHECK.

[CARD LOCK BUZZES]

[WHISTLING NONCHALANTLY]

LAST-MINUTE SHOPPING?

UH...

YOU WERE GOING TO SABOTAGEMY WINDOW, WEREN'T YOU?

NO.

OKAY, THENWHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'D RATHER NOT SAY.

HMM, SHOPLIFTING?

VANDALISM?

TRYING ON WOMEN'S CLOTHING?

NO, NO, AND...

THAT'S A THOUGHT.

ALL RIGHT, FOLLOW ME.

[SIGHING]

WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ABODE.

YOU'RE LIVING HERE?

WELL, IF BY "LIVING HERE,"YOU MEAN LIVING HERE,

THEN, YES.

FOR HOW LONG?

A COUPLE WEEKS.

LIKE EIGHT.

TA-DAH!

I RAN OUT OF RENT MONEY.

IT'S TEMPORARY,AT LEAST I HOPE IT IS.

YOU REALIZE THESE ARE GROUNDSFOR TERMINATION, RIGHT?

I MEAN, NOT TO MENTION THAT

I'M PRETTY SURETHAT IT'S ILLEGAL.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK,

I KNOW YOU HATE ME,

BUT WILL YOU PLEASENOT TELL FITCH ABOUT THIS?

I DON'T HATE YOU.

YOU DON'T?

OKAY, MAYBE A LITTLE.

YEAH, I HATE ME A LITTLE, TOO.

SO...

OKAY, UM,WE WILL PICK THIS UP TOMORROW.

I'VE GOT TO GO.

UH... ABOUT THAT.

THE DOOR IS LOCKED.

OKAY, SO HOW DO YOU GET OUT?

I DON'T.

NOT TILL MORNING.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL METHAT THIS COULD HAPPEN?

WAS I SUPPOSED TO?

[CARD LOCK BEEPING USELESSLY]

I'M TELLING YOU,

THEY'RE LOCKEDELECTRONICALLY.

IT'S NOT GOING TO OPEN.

[FLUSTERING IN PANIC]

I'M JUST GOING TO...

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GETANY CELL RECEPTION EITHER,

I'M SORRY.

THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!

KENNETH'S ENTIRE FIRMIS EXPECTING ME,

AND WHAT IS HE GOING TO THINKWHEN I DON'T SHOW UP?

I THINK HE'LL UNDERSTAND.

COME ON,WHO HASN'T SPENT A NIGHT

TRAPPED IN A DEPARTMENT STORE?

NO, NO, NO.

HEY, COME ON, HERE.HERE, HERE, HERE.

[STAMMERING]

I CAN'T BLOW MY NOSEON YOUR SKETCHES!

YEAH, YOU CAN.

THEY'RE NOT ANY GOOD.

NO.

NO, THEY ARE.

EVEN YOUR NAPKINSARE BETTER THAN MINE.

HEY, WHERE'S THATPARSONS SCHOOL OF CONFIDENCE?

YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTENBOTH WINDOWS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

KENNETH'S DAD MADE A CALL,

AND THAT'S HOW I GOT THIS JOB.

NO...

BECAUSE I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

OF COURSE YOU ARE.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

YEAH, I DO.

AND I HATE YOUA LITTLE BIT, TOO,

SO I HAVENO REASON TO LIE.

COME ON.

I'M GOING TO CHEER YOU UP.

OH...

MM-HMM. MM-HMM. OH...

I HAVE BEEN EYEINGTHIS BASKET FOR DAYS.

ISN'T THISCONSIDERED STEALING?

HE DIDN'T BUY IT.

LOOK AT THE CARD.

"FOR THE DESIGN STAFF"?

FITCH WAS SUPPOSED TOSHARE THIS WITH US.

I'M TRYING TO TELL YA.

GET IN THERE.

MM.

OH, MAN, THAT IS SO GOOD.

I HAVEN'T HAD CHOCOLATESINCE I MET KENNETH.

HE DOESN'T BELIEVEIN CHOCOLATE?

OH, OKAY.

UM, OOH. TRY ONE OF THESE.

IT'S GLUTEN-FREE.

WHAT IS GLUTEN?

YOU KNOW WHAT, STRIKE THAT,DID YOU SAY "FREE"?

[CHUCKLES]

OH, WOW.

MM-HMM.

OKAY, AT THIS RATE,

WE ARE NOT GOING TO FITIN THOSE WINDOWS.

THAT'S WHAT I'M HOPING.

CAN I INTEREST YOUIN A LITTLE MORE

OF THIS DELICIOUSMcGUIRE'S FIZZ-APPLE?

I AM PRETTY SURE THATTHAT BOTTLE

HAS BEEN HERE SINCETHE STORE OPENED.

THEN IT IS AGEDTO PERFECTION.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

SPEND A LITTLETIME IN HERE.

I THINK I CANGET USED TO IT.

TO THE FUTUREMISS JEFFERS.

COME.

I WANT TO SHOW YOUSOMETHING.

WELL, NO HEATER,NO FURNITURE, NO ROOF.

IT SUITS YOU.

IT'S THE BEST VIEWIN THE HOUSE, THOUGH.

YEAH.

THIS KIND OF REMINDS MEOF CHRISTMAS BACK HOME.

ASIDE FROM THE BUILDINGS,CARS AND PEOPLE.

[CHUCKLES]SOUNDS PEACEFUL.

IT IS.

WE HAD A FROZEN PONDIN THE BACKYARD.

YOU SKATE?

OF COURSE.

YOU?

ROCKEFELLER CENTER.

[CHUCKLES]IT'S BEEN YEARS, THOUGH.

SO WHAT DID YOU DOBEFORE McGUIRE'S?

UH, IT'S EMBARRASSING.

[LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]

UH...

I FOLDED T-SHIRTS AT THE MALL.

WOW.

I WORKED IN A SANTA SUITOUTSIDE OF A DRY CLEANERS.

I WORE A POLYESTERUNIFORM.

I REPEAT, "SANTA SUIT."

MY LAST NAME ISN'T VAN DOREN.

I, UH...

I ADDED THE "VAN" TO MAKE ITSOUND MORE IMPORTANT.

WOW.

YOU REALLY ARE COMPETITIVE.

OKAY.

UM... I DROPPED OUTOF ART SCHOOL

BECAUSE I COULDN'TAFFORD IT.

MISS JEFFERS SAIDTHAT I LACKED TALENT.

I HAVEN'T FINISHED A PAINTINGIN THREE MONTHS.

I HAVE BEEN DREADINGKENNETH'S CHRISTMAS PARTY

ALL WEEK.

I'M LIVINGIN A DEPARTMENT STORE.

I LIVE IN BROOKLYN,TWO BLOCKS FROM MY MOTHER.

WELL, MY MOTHER SAYSI'M A DREAMER.

MY MOTHER IS THE BATHROOMATTENDANT AT McGUIRE'S.

WAIT. WHAT?

RITA IS YOUR MOTHER?

ARE YOU MAKING THIS UP

JUST TO WIN WHATEVER THIS IS?

[CHUCKLES]

NO.

WERE YOU ADOPTED?

NO.

I AM A FACADE.

I'M LIKE A WINDOW.

[CHUCKLES]THAT IS WHAT WE DO, ISN'T IT?

WE CREATE...

WE CREATE PERFECT IMAGESFOR PEOPLE TO ADMIRE.

YOU CALLED ME A FAKE.

NO, YOU WERE RIGHT.

I DIDN'T SAYYOU WERE A FAKE.

I SAID YOU LOOK BETTERWITHOUT MAKEUP.

THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

YEAH.

I WAS SO HAPPYWHEN I GOT HIRED AT McGUIRE'S

BECAUSE I THOUGHT,YOU KNOW,

HEY, I COULDWORK MY WAY UP

AND EVENTUALLYMAKE ENOUGH MONEY

SO THAT MY MOMCOULD STOP WORKING.

SHE SPENTALL OF HER SAVINGS

PUTTING METHROUGH SCHOOL.

I MEAN,EVERY PAYCHECK,

EVERY TIP.

AND, UH, HERE I AM,

I AM EMBARRASSEDTO ADMIT

THAT SHE ISMY OWN MOTHER.

[SIGHS SADLY]

FITCH PENCILS INHIS MOUSTACHE.

WHAT? WHATDID YOU SAY?

FITCH PENCILS INHIS MOUSTACHE.

HE KEEPS WOMEN'S MAKEUP

IN A LOCKER INTHE EXECUTIVE RESTROOM.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

YOU SEE?

WHO ISN'T A FAKE,IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER?

YOU.

OH, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?NO. YOU'RE NOT.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I WALK AROUNDLIKE EVERYTHING'S HUNKY DORY,

BUT YOU THINKIT DOESN'T KILL ME

THAT I'M BROKE,

OR THAT MY FAMILYDOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME?

THAT I'M NOT EVEN SUREIF I BELIEVE IN ME?

YOU REALIZETHAT YOU ARE SHOWING

IN ONE OF THE BEST ART GALLERIESIN NEW YORK.

THE FRONT WINDOW AT McGUIRE'S.

[CHUCKLES]

NO, SALVADOR DALI

DRESSED WINDOWS AT BONWIT'SIN 1934.

-GET OUT OF HERE.-NO, I'M SERIOUS.

HE USED A DISPLAY

AND HE MADE IT WITH A BATHTUB,PIGEONS,

AND DISMEMBERED MANNEQUINS.

WHAT?

WHEN THE STORETRIED TO CHANGE IT,

HE WENT INTO AN ARTISTIC RAGE,

AND HE HURLED THE BATHTUBTHROUGH THE FRONT WINDOW

ONTO THE FIFTH AVENUE.

HE WAS DETAINED IN A STOCKROOM,

AND THENHE WAS CARTED OFF TO JAIL.

NO.

YUP.

ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS

BECAUSE YOU THINKI'LL END UP IN JAIL?

NO. NO, I AM TELLING YOU THISBECAUSE DALI WAS AN ARTIST.

LIKE YOU.

THANK YOU.

YEAH.

SO,

IF, UM, IF YOU'RE NOT DOINGANYTHING ON THE 23rd,

MY, UM, MY FAMILY,

WE'RE HAVING CHRISTMASDINNER AT MY MOM'S.

CHRISTMAS ON THE 23RD?

THAT'S AN INTERESTINGTRADITION.

CHRISTMAS EVE EVE.

EVE EVE, AH, OKAY.

YES, WELL, MY FAMILYUSUALLY WORKS

ON THE HOLIDAYS--HOLIDAY PAY.

SURE.

[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

UH, WILL SIR KENNETHBE THERE?

ASPEN.

IN THAT CASE, I ACCEPT.

[CHUCKLES]

BLACK TIE OPTIONAL?

FORBIDDEN.

UM, I SHOULDWARN YOU, THOUGH,

WE ARE HAVING TURKEY

DEEP-FRIEDIN DUNKIN' DONUTS BATTER.

TUR-DUNKIN'?

YOU KNOW TUR-DUNKIN'?

OF COURSE!WHO DOESN'T KNOW TUR-DUNKIN'?

[STAMMERING]APPARENTLY JUST ME.

[CELL PHONE WARBLES]

SORRY, IT'S...

JUST A SEC.

I'VE JUST GOT TO...

SOMETHING'S GOING ONWITH MY PHONE HERE.

WHAT?

[MUSIC STARTS PLAYING]

OH, THAT--THAT'S WEIRD,

THAT IT WOULD JUSTPLAYING MUSIC LIKE THAT.

I GUESS MAYBE WE SHOULD DANCE.

COME ON.

[INSISTENTLY]COME ON.

OKAY.

THIS IS MECHEERING YOU UP.

ALL RIGHT.ALL RIGHT, WHY NOT?

SEE? THAT'SNOT SO BAD.

[SIGHS]

WOW, NOT BAD.

I DIDN'T KNOWYOU COULD DANCE.

SHUT UP.

WAIT FOR IT.

MM-HMM.

WAIT FOR IT.

UH-OH, UH-OH...

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

AND COMIN' BACK.

[♪]

[SECURITY GUARDBARKING THROUGH RADIO]

HIDE. HIDE.QUICKLY.

GO, GO, GO, GO!

[GIGGLING]

[STIFLING GIGGLES]

YOU EVER PLAYSEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN?

I'M JUST SAYIN'.

[GIGGLING]

WE SHOULD HAVEDONE IT OUT THERE.

[GIGGLING] SHH.

[SNORING GENTLY]

GOOD MORNING,SUNSHINE.

HOW LONG HAVE WEBEEN SLEEPING?

MUST'VE BEEN THATCHEAP APPLE CIDER

YOU PLIED ME WITH.

OH, I WAS RIGHT.

YOU DO LOOK BETTERWITHOUT MAKEUP.

I HAVE TOCALL KENNETH.

YOU WANT ME TOHANDLE THAT FOR YOU?

ATTENTION, EMPLOYEES!

THE STORE WILL OPENIN 10 MINUTES.

WHOOPS.

NO, YOU HAVE, UM,YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH.

HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO

THAT CHOCOLATE-SCARFINGBROOKLYN GIRL

FROM LAST NIGHT?

HEL...LO?

HEY, MEGAN.

NO, WE WEREWORKING LATE.

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO GETYOUR ACT TOGETHER.

THE STORE IS OPENING.

THE STORE IS OPEN.

GREAT.

NOW I HAVE TO DOTHE WALK OF SHAME.

BIG DEAL.

I DO IT EVERY DAY.

EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT, 5%, RIGHT?

THAT'S HOW WE DO IT.

THANK YOU.TIME IS A LITTLE SHORT.

HEY.

[CLEARING THROAT]

WEREN'T YOUWEARING THAT YESTERDAY?

YES.

NOT INTERESTED.

CHOP CHOP.THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S WAITING.

WHAT PHOTOGRAPHER?

THE TIMES.

HE'S DOING A SPREAD ONTHE CHRISTMAS WINDOWS.

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS.

YOU DIDN'T LET HER KNOW?

I-- SORRY.I TOTALLY FORGOT.

I CAN'T--

I CAN'T BEPHOTOGRAPHED LIKE THIS.

I CAN.I LOOK GREAT.

COME ON, BOTH OF YOU.

IT'S NOT FUNNY.

NO, IT'S NOT.

NO!

WELL, IT'S FUNNYYOU SHOULD SAY THAT

BECAUSE THE CROWDS OUTSIDEHAVE NEVER BEEN BIGGER.

ACTUALLY, CHRISTMAS EVE,

WE WILL BE UNVEILING

OUR FINAL WINDOWSOF THE SEASON...

[BICKERING]PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME.

IT'S A CASUAL POSE.

IT'S A CASUAL POSEFOR SNAPS.

THAT'S FINE.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

PLEASE STOP.

WHY IS EVERYBODYCOMING AT ONCE?

JUST TAKE THE PICTURES.

YOUR HAND.

[♪♪]

HI.

I AM SO SORRYTHAT I MISSED THE PARTY.

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GOTLOCKED IN THERE WITH THAT GUY.

IF IT WAS ANYONE ELSE,I MIGHT BE JEALOUS.

WHAT WAS HE DOING,ROBBING THE PLACE?

IT...

UH, IT'S SORT OF COMPLICATED.

CAN I HAVE A CHARDONNAY?

THANKS.

UM, HE...

HE LOST HIS APARTMENT.

SO?

SO, HE'S KIND OF...

TEMPORARILY BEEN...

LIVING THERE.

AT McGUIRE'S?

IN THE BEDROOM DISPLAY.

[SNORTS]

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YEAH.

YEAH, BUT YOU CAN'TSAY ANYTHING.

TO ANYONE.

IT'S SO PERFECT.

[DIALING PHONE]

WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

I'M CALLING MY DAD.ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

OLD MAN MCGUIRE WOULDLOVE TO FIND OUT THAT

THAT LOSER IS SLEEPINGIN THE STORE.

NO, NO. NO. NO.

NO CALLS.

NO.

YOU WANT TO BECOMEHEAD DESIGNER, RIGHT?

YEAH.

BUT NOT IN THAT WAY.

WHY?THIS IS A SLAM DUNK.

PROMISE ME THAT YOU'RE NOTGOING TO MAKE ANY CALLS.

OKAY.

I PROMISE, NO CALLS.

THANK YOU.

I'M GUESSINGYOU SAW IT.

OH, GOD.

UNFORTUNATELY, YES.

MOST PEOPLE ONLYGET IN THE PAPERS

THREE TIMESIN THEIR LIVES--

WHEN THEY'RE BORN,WHEN THEY'RE MARRIED,

AND WHEN THEY DIE.

[LAUGHS]AND IN MY CASE,

WHEN THEY LOOK LIKEA COMPLETE PSYCHO.

YOU KNOW,I DON'T REMEMBER A TIME

WHEN THE WINDOWS GOTMORE ATTENTION.

MISS JEFFERS DIDN'T GETHALF YOUR CROWDS.

AND SHE WORKED ALONE.

HA HA.

LUCKY HER.

SO SPENDING THE NIGHTIN THE STORE

HASN'T CHANGEDYOUR OPINION OF HIM?

HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT?

YEAH.

I OFFERED HIM TO STAYAT MY PLACE,

BUT HE'S TOO PROUD.

YEAH, WELL, I THINK YOU'REGIVING HIM TOO MUCH CREDIT.

AND THE KEYS TOTHE EXECUTIVE RESTROOM?

I AM SHOCKED THATHE HAS NOT MADE OFF

WITH THE SOAPAND THE BATHROOM FIXTURES.

I DIDN'T GIVE HIM THE KEYS.

MUST HAVE GOT THOSEFROM SOMEONE ELSE.

HE SAID THATYOU GAVE HIM THE KEYS.

NOPE.

JUST THE ALARM CODES.

HOT DOG,I LOOK PRETTY GOOD.

DON'T WORRY,YOU LOOK ALL RIGHT.

YOU HAVE THE ALARM CODES?

THE...

OOPS.

SO, WE WEREN'T LOCKED IN.

UH...

TECHNICALLY, NO.

WHY WOULD YOU LIETO KEEP ME IN THE STORE?

WHY DO YOU THINK?

I DON'T KNOW, UH...

TO DISTRACT ME?

TO KEEP YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER?

TO MAKE ME LOOKUNPROFESSIONAL

IN FRONT OF FITCH?

OR TO... I DON'T KNOW,TRY TO RUIN THINGS

BETWEEN ME AND KENNETH?

UH, NONE OF THE ABOVE.

ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR,YOU AND KENNETH...

I DON'T SEE IT.

WHATEVER IT IS,

THAT YOU THINKYOU'RE DOING HERE,

IT WON'T WORK.

CAN'T BLAME A GUYFOR TRYING, RIGHT?

WELL, WE STILL HAVEONE MORE WINDOW.

THE GRAND FINALE.

MM-HMM,

AND MY WINDOWIS GOING TO MAKE YOUR WINDOW

LOOK LIKE A RE-GIFTED FRUITCAKE.

IS THAT RIGHT?

YEAH, SO YOU BETTER GO ON

GET BACK TO YOUR NAPKINS.

THERE'S NO MORE NAPKINS.

IT'S ALL UP HERE.

MM.

YEAH, THAT'LL WORK OUT,REAL WELL.

[♪]

MORNING, RITA.

LOOKING GOOD.

HELLO.THANK YOU.

YOU SMELL GOOD.

YEAH, SOME FREECOLOGNE SAMPLES.

HOW'S THAT EGGNOG?

AH, WEAK.

I CONCUR.

TALK TO MARGEIN KITCHENWARE.

OH, WHAT'S UP, K-MAN?

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TOBE AT THE AIRPORT?

FLIGHT DELAY.

LAST CHANCETO CHANGE YOUR MIND.

I CAN'T.

COME ON.

[COINS JINGLING]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

KENNETH,THAT'S HER DRINK.

SHE'S MY...

COWORKER.

OH.

I'M SORRY.

IT HAPPENS.

I ACTUALLY--I DON'T SHAKE HANDS,

BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

BUY YOURSELFSOMETHING ON ME, OKAY?

HAND THAT BACK, PLEASE.

HAND IT BACK,PLEASE?

HEY, GIRLS.

I'M GOING TO FIX THE SINKIN THE LADIES' JOHN.

YOU WANT TO JOIN ME FORA COUPLE OF HOT DOGS LATER?

YEAH. IF YOU'RE BUYING,LET'S GO GET SOME.

KENNETH,THIS IS, UM...

THIS IS MY MOTHER.

RITA DORENTELLA.

I'M SORRY,

I DON'T, UH...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID

THAT YOUR MOTHERWAS TRAVELING.

YEAH, WELL, UM,

ONLY BACK AND FORTHTO McGUIRE'S.

SHE'S THE "DOMESTICCONCIERGE,"

WHICH IS--

THAT'S NOT THE TRUTH.

UM, SHE'STHE BATHROOM ATTENDANT.

AND THIS IS MY UNCLE JIMMY.

I'M A DRAIN SURGEON!

SLOAN, WHAT IS GOING ON?

I THOUGHT THATYOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME

IF YOU KNEW THAT I WASN'T...

LIKE YOU.

AND APPARENTLY,

I AM THE MOSTSHALLOW AND INSECURE PERSON

IN THE ENTIRE WORLD,

SO, UM, I'M SORRY.

I HAVE TO GO.

I'M-I'M SORRY.

WAIT, SHOULDN'T WEAT LEAST FIGHT ABOUT THIS?

ABOUT...

YOU OKAY?

HE'LL GET OVER IT.

A LITTLE FIGHTING'SGOOD FOR A COUPLE, RIGHT?

KENNETH DOESN'T FIGHT.

I THOUGHTKENNETH DIDN'T SHAKE HANDS.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

I REALLY MESSED THIS UP.

CLEARLY,I'M NO RELATIONSHIP EXPERT,

BUT IF HE CAN'T ACCEPT YOUFOR WHO YOU ARE,

WHY WOULD YOUWANT TO BE WITH HIM?

AND WHO AM I, REALLY?

I MEAN, COME ON, WHAT,

I'M A LIAR, AND A FAKE,

WITH QUESTIONABLE TALENT.

THAT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.

IF ONLY I HAD BEENHONEST WITH HIM

FROM THE BEGINNING...

HE WOULD HAVEDUMPED YOU IMMEDIATELY.

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

WELL, I'M GOING TO DINNER.

WHAT? IT'S 3:00.

YEAH, I'M DONE EARLY.

HOW CAN YOU BE DONE?

[TRUMPETS COYLY]

I MEAN, I'LL PROBABLYPAINT THE ROOM GREEN,

OR RED, OR...

[GASPS]I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE BOTH.

YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT

THAT RIGHT THERE

IS YOUR CHRISTMAS EVE WINDOW?

YUP.

YOU'RE TRYING TO THROW ME OFF.

NO.

LESS IS MORE, RIGHT?

WHAT HAPPENED TO"MORE IS MORE?"

MAYBE LESS IS THE NEW MORE.

THAT'S YOUR FINAL WINDOW?

A PLATE OF COOKIES,

AND A... WHAT IS IT,A GLASS OF MILK?

AND THE SANTA HAT.

YOU REALIZEYOU'RE GOING TO LOSE.

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.

AND YOU DON'T CARE?

IT MEANS MORE TO YOU.

[CHUCKLES]

[FAMILY LAUGHING]

OH, THERE SHE IS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE,EVERYONE...

I SAW YOU NAKED.

OKAY.

UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU INVITED ME.

THE OTHER NIGHT,AT THE STORE?

YEAH, I KNOW, I REMEMBER.

I JUST DIDN'T THINKYOU'D ACTUALLY SHOW UP.

JAKE BROUGHT YOUTHESE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS.

UH, SECOND FLOORGARDEN DISPLAY?

GOOD EYE.

I WOULD HAVE BROUGHT CHOCOLATE,

BUT, FOR SOME REASON,

FITCH STARTEDLOCKING HIS OFFICE.

SPEAKING OF WHICH...

THANKS, GIRLFRIEND.

I AM GOING TO MISS

THAT 20-JET SHOWER.

YOU GAVE HIM THE KEYS

TO THE EXECUTIVE RESTROOM?

THEY MAY HAVE

FALLEN OUT OF MY POCKETINTO HIS HAND.

YOU KNOW, JAKEWAS JUST TELLING US

THE STORY OFHIS FAVORITE CHRISTMAS--

OH, NO, UNCLE JIMMY,I REALLY DON'T THINK--

OKAY, OKAY, SO,

HE WANTED A PAIROF ICE SKATES SO BADLY.

FINALLY, IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME.

HE OPENS THEM UP,

AND THEY'RE WHITEGIRL'S SKATES.

[LAUGHING]

THEY WEREOUT OF THE BLACK ONES.

SLOAN, REMEMBERTHE CHRISTMAS

YOU GOTYOUR ICE SKATES?

YOU WERE CRAZYABOUT THOSE SKATES.

YEAH. YEAH, I WAS, YEAH.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

THAT MUST BE THE DATE.

YOU INVITED A DATE?

YEAH.

FOR YOUR MOM.

A DATE?

RELAX. SIT DOWN.

BUT SHE DOESN'T DATE.

OH, SHE DOES NOW.

DO I LOOK OKAY?

YOU'REA TRAFFIC-STOPPER, RITA.

THANK YOU.

SO WHO'S THIS DATE?

ANYBODY?

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO ME.

RITA?

HI, MAC.

YOU LOOK LOVELY.

WELL, THANK YOU.

YOU CLEAN UP WELLYOURSELF.

YOU'D BE SURPRISED

WHAT A LITTLEWINDEX WILL DO.

EVERYBODY, THIS IS MAC.

[EVERYONE]: HI, MAC.

HEY, THERE. HI!

YOU KIDS GOT ME THINKING,YOU KNOW,

I'VE SPENT THE HOLIDAYS ALONE

SINCE MY WIFE DIED.

SHE WOULDN'T HAVELIKED THAT.

YOUR MOTHER AND I...

WELL, WE'VE HAD OUR EYEON EACH OTHER

FOR A WHILE NOW,HAVEN'T WE, RITA?

I KNOW I HAVE.

[CHUCKLES]

WELL, I DON'T KNOWABOUT ANYONE ELSE,

BUT I, FOR ONE,

AM DYING TO BREAKINTO THAT TUR-DUNKIN'.

WELL, COME ON!

FOLLOW ME.

YES! LET'S GO!

HO, HO, HO, HO!

HERE COMES THE TURKEY!

[ALL CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

TUR-DUNKIN',YOU DID IT!

WHO'S GOING TO CARVETHIS THING?

WELL, YOU DO IT.

NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO CARVE.

I'VE BEEN UNCLOGGING SINKSALL DAY.

[LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,I'LL CARVE IT.

I'LL CARVE IT.

I'M IN A SCULPTING CLASS, SO...

YOU'RE A SCULPTOR, TOO?

WELL, NOT EXACTLY.

I INSPIRE THE SCULPTORS.

HE'S A SUPERMODEL.

OH, NOW, THAT IS A JOBTHAT I WOULD BE VERY GOOD AT.

YEAH, WE'LL BE WAITINGWITH BATED BREATH ON THAT.

[LAUGHING]

UNCLE JIMMY, I'M SORRY,WHEN YOU'RE DONE,

CAN YOU HAND ME THAT--

PASS THE ROLLS!

HEY, HEY, BUN THIEF!

THAT'S MY BUN.

THIS IS YOUR BUN.

I WANT MY BUN BACK.GIVE ME BACK MY--

[ALL SHRIEKING AND LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[♪]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS,LOYAL SHOPPERS!

WELCOME TO OUR ANNUALCHRISTMAS EVE UNVEILING.

NOW, AS USUAL,

MCGUIRE DOES HAVEOUR STOCKING STUFFERS HERE,

SO PLEASE FEEL FREE

TO TAKE A COUPLESTOCKING STUFFERS.

HERE YOU ARE, LADIES.

THERE YOU ARE.

AND HERE--NOT YOU, JAKE. THANK YOU.

STOCKING STUFFERS...

NOW, IN 95 YEARS OF BUSINESSHERE AT McGUIRE'S,

WE'RE KNOWN FOR QUALITY,

WE ARE KNOWN FOR TRADITION,

BUT WE'RE ALSO KNOWN FOR OUR--

YES, THERE IT IS.

MISS.

WE'RE ALSO KNOWNFOR OUR CHRISTMAS WINDOWS,

WHICH EVERYBODY LOVES,

AND I'M SURE YOU'LL ALL AGREE

THAT THIS YEARWE REALLY OUTDID OURSELVES,

AND I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS.

SO, PLEASE, WITH NO FURTHER ADO.

WINDOW ONE.

WOW.

JAKE?

YEAH.

JAKE, IS THAT...IS THAT YOUR WINDOW?

YEAH.

WHAT....WHAT IS THAT?

MINIMALISM.

IT SENDS A MESSAGE.

WHAT MESSAGEIS IT SENDING?

ELIMINATING EXCESS.

JAKE, WE'REA DEPARTMENT STORE.

EXCESS IS WHAT WE DO.

YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,TODAY'S ECONOMY AS IT IS,

SETBACKS, CUTBACKS--

CUTBACKS, OH, THERE'LLBE CUTBACKS, MY FRIEND.

THERE'S GOING TO BE CUTBACKS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

LUCKILY, WE HAVETWO WINDOWS,

SO...

WINDOW NUMBER TWO,HERE WE ARE.

[AUDIENCE GASPING IN DELIGHT]

[APPLAUSE]

[CROWD MURMURING IN APPROVAL]

NICE. THAT'S BETTER,THAT'S BETTER.

IT WILL BE.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

IT IS A CHRISTMASDINNER FOOD FIGHT.

IT'S A LITTLE RISKY.

ZEITGEIST.

AH, RIGHT.

CONGRATS.YOU DID IT.

[CROWD MURMURING IN SHOCK]

[FOOD SPLATS]

[CROWD RECOILING IN DISGUST]

NO, NO, NO.

[CROWD MURMURING IN DISINTEREST]

GREAT.

THIS IS-- IT'S FINE.IT'S A JOKE.

THEY'RE HIRED ACTORS.THEY'RE...

[CLEARING THROAT AWKWARDLY]

SALES INSIDE!

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU TWO.

YOU JUST SINGLE-HANDEDLYRUINED CHRISTMAS FOR McGUIRE'S.

SO... THAT'S GREAT.

[CLAPPING]

YOU'RE FIRED.

[♪]

WOW...

THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

REALLY?

REALLY.

[SIGHING]

SO...

CHRISTMAS EVE, HERE WE ARE.

[QUIETLY] YEAH.

CANDY CANE?

TRADE YOU.

FOR ME?

AN APOLOGY FA LA LATTE.

[CHUCKLES]

I'M SORRY.

FOR WHAT?

AMONG OTHER THINGS,

I'M THE REASONTHAT YOU GOT FIRED.

AH, THAT WAS INEVITABLE.

THIS IS TRUE.

AT LEAST I CAN FALL BACKON MY CAREER AS A SUPERMODEL.

THIS IS NOT TRUE. UM...

IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR SO LONGTO BE SOMEBODY ELSE,

THAT I COMPLETELY LOST SIGHTOF WHAT'S IMPORTANT,

AND I WAS STANDINGOUTSIDE McGUIRE'S TONIGHT,

AND I JUST--

I JUST REALIZED,YOU KNOW,

WE SHOULD BE CAPTURINGTHE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT,

NOT THE ZEITGEIST.

YOU KNOW WHAT,

I DON'T WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE

FOR RUINING95 YEARS OF TRADITION,

AND I DON'T THINK YOU DO EITHER.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

WELL, I DO PREFER BEINGIRRESPONSIBLE.

YOU'RE VERY GOOD AT IT.

UM, DO YOU STILL HAVETHE ALARM CODE?

UM...

MAYBE?

YOU KNOW WHERE THIS BELONGS.

SIGN IT.

SO, NO FOOD FIGHTS,NO HALF-EATEN CAKE,

NO SANTA BEING SAWED IN HALFBY A MAGICIAN.

REALLY, THAT JUST LEAVES...

KENNETH.

HOW FESTIVE.

HI.

COME ON IN HERE.

IT'S FREEZING OUT THERE.

LOOKS LIKE IT'S CHRISTMASIN THE HAMPTONS AFTER ALL.

OR WAS IT ASPEN?

WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE BROOKLYN.

SO, UH, WHY AREN'T YOUIN ASPEN?

DENVER IS COMPLETELY,TOTALLY SNOWED IN.

NO FLIGHTS.

SO...

I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

YEAH, UM...

IT FELT WEIRD,HOW THINGS WERE LEFT.

UM...

I'M SORRY.

I SHOULD HAVE BEENHONEST WITH YOU.

I, UH, I HAD THIS IMAGEOF WHAT I THOUGHT I SHOULD BE,

AND I WAS WRONG.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

THANK YOU.

AND I'VE BEEN THINKING,

AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW,

THAT I AM WILLINGTO OVERLOOK THOSE PEOPLE.

WHAT PEOPLE?

YOU KNOW, YOUR MOTHERAND THE PLUMBER.

THOSE PEOPLE

ARE MY--

WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M SORRY, DO YOU...

[SNIFFING]

DO YOU SMELL LIKE COLOGNE?

UH... WHAT?

[SNIFFING]

YOU SMELL LIKE COLOGNE.

LIKE...

EAU DE MEGAN.

OKAY, YES, WE HAD DRINKS.

YOU AND MEGAN?

YES.

AND MAYBE A DINNERLAST WEEK

WHEN YOU WERE WORKING.

IT WAS NOT A BIG DEAL.

YOU LIED TO ME,I LIED TO YOU.

LET'S JUST...

LET'S JUST CALL IT EVEN, OKAY,AND START OVER?

KENNETH, I, UH...

I DON'T WANT TO START OVER.

BECAUSE OF MEGAN?

IT DIDN'T MEANANYTHING TO ME.

SHE'S JUST A SALESGIRL.

AND I AM JUST A WINDOW DRESSER.

YOU CALLED ME.

YES.

TO APOLOGIZE.

"THOSE PEOPLE"

ARE MY FAMILY.

YOU KNOW, AND, YEAH,

THEY MIGHT BE LOUD

AND VERY EMBARRASSING,

BUT THEY'RE MINE,

AND I LOVE THEM.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T...

I DON'T WANT TO BESOMEBODY'S PLUS-ONE.

I WANT TO BESOMEBODY'S BATTLEAXE.

IF YOU MUST KNOW,

LORD KENNETH'S FLOWERSARE ON THEIR WAY TO ASPEN.

[BEEPS MUSIC ON]

[CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYS]

IT-IT JUST...

[♪♪]

♪ DECK THE HALLSAND HANG THE MISTLETOE ♪

♪ KISS THE ONE YOU LOVEAND LET IT SNOW ♪

♪ ISN'T CHRISTMAS TIMEA WONDERFUL THING? ♪

♪ AND SANTA CLAUSWILL DROP ON BY ♪

[LAUGHING]

♪ CAN YOU FEEL THE MAGICWHEN HIS REINDEER FLY? ♪

♪ CHRISTMAS TIMEIS ALMOST HERE AGAIN ♪

♪ EVERY YEAR, THE CAROLSMAKE YOU HEART SING ♪

♪ ISN'T CHRISTMAS TIMEA WONDERFUL THING? ♪

I CANNOT WAIT TO SEETHE LOOK ON FITCH'S FACE.

WELL, HE'S EITHERGOING TO KISS US

OR KILL US.

NOT REALLY SUREWHICH I'D PREFER.

I DON'T THINK I'D LIKEEITHER ONE OF THOSE.

[ALARMS WAILING]

OH, MY GOSH,WHAT HAPPENED?

I DON'T KNOW.

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.

[ALARMS WAILING AND BLARING]

FITCH MUST HAVECHANGED THE CODES.

[ALARMS BLARING AND ECHOING]

[WAILING POLICE SIRENS APPROACH]

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

HOLD IT THERE.

HANDS AGAINSTTHE HOOD OF THE CAR.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

HANDS AGAINST THE HOODOF THE CAR, PLEASE.

IT'S OKAY.WE WORK HERE.

OKAY, WELL,WE USED TO WORK HERE.

WE USED TO WORK HERE.

BUT WE DON'T...

I DON'T KNOW HIM.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'REBOTH UNDER ARREST.

[HANDCUFFS RATTLE]

DON'T SAY IT.

I WON'T.

YOU'RE NOTFREAKING OUT?

WHAT ARE THEYGOING TO DO?

THEY ALREADY FIRED US.

JAIL?

PERFECT. THERE'S NO WINDOWS.

PLUS FREE MEALS.

AND NO MAKE-UP.

PHEW! YOU'VECHANGED, VAN DOREN.

HMM. YOU HAVEN'T.

DID YOU CALL KENNETH?

NO.

DID YOU CALLED KENNETHAND KENNETH CALLED HIS FATHER?

I HAVE NO IDEAWHO THAT IS.

OH.

THANK YOU.

MAC?

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WHOSE CAR IS THIS?

IT'S MINE.

WOW, WASHING WINDOWSPAYS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT.

NO,

I'M JUST RICH.

SURE,

AND I BET YOU HAVETHREE LAST NAMES.

OH, NO, ONLY ONE.

MCGUIRE.

MY FAMILY, YOU KNOW,

THEY JUST LOVE THOSE BOARDROOMSAND MEETINGS AT THE CLUB.

I TRIED THAT LIFESTYLEBACK IN THE DAY,

BUT IT'S NOT FOR ME.

I LIKE BEINGWHERE THE ACTION IS,

GETTING TO KNOWMY EMPLOYEES,

BEING TREATED LIKEA REGULAR PERSON.

MY LIFE IS RICHBECAUSE OF THE PEOPLE IN IT.

LIKE YOU TWO.

GROUP HUG?

[LAUGHS]

COME ON.

[LAUGHING]

OKAY...

♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS AGAIN

♪ AND EVERYBODY'S HOME

♪ THE FIRE'S BURNING BRIGHT...

THIS YEAR, WE'VE REALLYOUTDONE OURSELVES, OKAY,

SO WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO,HERE WE ARE!

HERE IT IS.

[APPLAUSE]

WOW.

ISN'T THAT NICE?

YOU CAN ALMOST SMELL THE TURKEY.

[TOY TRAIN CHUGS AND TOOTS]

[♪♪]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[♪]

♪ FEELIN' HAPPY

♪ IT'S SANTA'S JOBSAYIN' HO, HO, HO ♪

♪ AND THE STREETSARE COVERED UP WITH SNOW ♪

♪ OH, CHRISTMAS

♪ THIS IS CHRISTMAS...

[DOOR SLAMS]

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU TWO,

ON YOUR MARGINALLYDESERVED PROMOTION.

YOU'RE PROMOTING US?

YES, JAKE.

CONSIDER YOURSELVES BOTHTHE NEW MISS JEFFERS.

GOD HELP US.

THANK YOU, MR. FITCH.

WE WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU.

WELL...I STILL MIGHT.

NO DOUBT, JAKE,NO DOUBT.

I LOVE THIS WINDOW.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

OKAY, SERIOUSLY,

IS THIS SWEATERMADE OUT OF BRILLO?

STOP IT.

PUT YOUR MINDON SOMETHING ELSE.

OKAY.

[♪♪]

[CROWD SCREAMING AND CHEERING]

[♪]

HOW ABOUT THAT?

WOW.

OH, RIGHT.

[GIGGLING]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

UM, WE SHOULD...

WE SHOULD PROBABLYDO THAT AGAIN.

YEAH.

YEAH, NO ARGUMENTSFROM ME.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

[♪]

♪ EVERYBODY...

♪ FEELIN' HAPPY

♪ IT'S SANTA'S JOBSAYIN' HO, HO, HO ♪

♪ OH, CHRISTMAS

♪ THIS IS CHRISTMAS...

[♪]