All language subtitles for The Wild Wild West S01E05 Night of the Casual Killer

What do you want up here?

I'm here to find
John Maxwell Avery.

I said I'm here to find
John Maxwell Avery.

And now you've found him.

I'm John Avery.

Tom Hendrix, Attorney
General's office.

Pleasure to meet
you, Mr. Hendrix.

I'm here to take you back.

Back where, sir?

Washington.

Under direct orders

of the President of
the United States.

Really?

And who are the
gentlemen with you?

Marshal Kirby of Pima
County, and a deputy.

You'll be granted the
protection of presidential custody.

Well, now, that
sounds impressive.

I have my orders, Mr. Avery.

So you do, and from Washington.

I would advise you

not to try anything
foolish, Marshal.

You can take the
body back with you,

and you can tell Washington...

there's my answer.

Are you Mr. West?

No, sir.

If you will follow me?

Chopin's "Nocturne
in E Flat," gentlemen,

and beautifully executed,
wouldn't you say?

Artemus Gordon,
gentlemen, at your service.

Tennyson, where's my coffee?

And that, gentlemen,
is Mr. West.

Your coffee is
almost ready, sir,

and your guests have arrived.

Gentlemen.

Captain Davis.

Marshal Kirby.

Won't you gentlemen
please sit down?

Appreciate your
hospitality, Mr. West,

but I'd much rather
learn what this is all about.

Just as you say, Captain.

There was some mention of help.

What kind of help, Mr. West?

The army's spread thin out here.

No time to play guide
to visiting tourists.

The Secret Service
takes a dim view

of pleasure trips, Captain.

We're here to find John Avery.

Look, John Avery
is a stinking butcher.

Him and his thieving gang

have turned this area
into a slaughterhouse,

leaving nothing
but a trail of blood.

That trail still must
lead somewhere.

It does.

Up there among those
devil-cursed rocks.

A deserted, worked-
out mining camp...

That's where you'll
find John Avery.

Can't the army flush
him out, Captain?

Mr. West,

we've been up there.

A full troop, all the
men we could spare.

There are 22 new military graves

to prove our attempt.

Would you like to
see those graves?

Thank you, Captain.

We have our assignment.

Still, I think a man

could work his
way up there alone.

If a man was
foolish enough to try,

and if a man was lucky
enough to reach John Avery,

even get close
enough to kill him,

that man wouldn't stand a
chance of getting out of there alive.

Our assignment's
not to kill him.

It's to find him and
bring him back alive.

I'm sorry, gentlemen.

I wish we could help you,

but if you still intend
to find John Avery,

there are two
things we can offer.

What's that?

Our condolences,
and a decent burial.

Good day, gentlemen.

Mr. West.

Well...

I say let's wire Washington

and ask for another assignment.

Something simple, like,
uh, cutting our throats.

Oh, we don't bring Avery
back, and they probably will.

Mmm. Why is the
president so anxious

to bring him back alive?

Avery was a big man in
Washington, you know that.

A close confidant
to the president.

Sure, till they found out

that he was a corrupt,
vicious political manipulator.

Too many people think
the president fixed it

so Avery could get away,

and now the president has
to personally produce Avery

at a Senate hearing.

Bringing Avery back
alive could stop a scandal

that would rock the nation.

Ah, now it's clear.

James, my boy,

you're grinning
like an undertaker

ready to dress a corpse.

Mine.

Artemus, have
you ever considered

returning to the stage?

Yes, many times,

and never more
seriously than right now.

What are you looking
at my violin like that for?

Um, a Trojan horse.

An innocent show
wagon, traveling in the west

and innocently getting lost.

Oh, no, oh, no.

That gambit is not
going to work with me.

If you think I'm going
to step into a coffin

just because you
hold out an offer

for me to get back on
a stage, not on your life.

Ah, trodding the boards again.

Performing before an audience.

The sound of applause.

A standing ovation.

And no song and dance, now, Jim.

Readings from the Bard.

From Hamlet to King Lear.

Hamlet.

Looks like the game's started.

Only one man?

Avery can't be
that short-handed.

What are you doing out here?

We're on our way to Pima.

Uh, yes, my good man.

An engagement there.

Pima's 20 miles the other way.

No! Another wrong
turn, Mr. Whitney.

When will you learn?

Thank you very
much, my good sir.

Now we'll just turn
this thing about.

Mister, we don't take to
strangers coming this close,

best you keep right on coming.

Sam!

Ride back and tell

Mr. Avery we're
bringing in some visitors.

What about our
engagement in Pima?

Let's go.

Uh, do as the man
says, Mr. Whitney.

Found them headed
this way, Mr. Avery.

They claim they're lost,

but I figured you'd
want to look them over.

Which one of you is in charge?

Here, sir... Conroy Whitney.

My partner, Mr. Artemus Gordon.

Mason, search them.

Check the wagon

from top to bottom.

Perhaps you'll perform
for us, Mr. Whitney.

My men could use
a little diversion.

Well, at least Avery
was kind enough

not to put a guard on us.

Why bother?

He's got the place
surrounded like a fortress.

We'd never get out
the way we came in.

My guess is there's
another way out...

An escape route set
up by Avery just in case.

All right, James, let's
assume you're right,

and that we even find it.

Now, how do you propose
to invite Avery to join us?

I'll try to endear
myself to him.

Uh-huh.

James, my boy, start endearing.

Mr. Avery, I've been
hoping to see you.

Were you, Mr. Whitney?

The way we were brought
here, almost like prisoners.

Are we your
prisoners, Mr. Avery?

"Prisoners" sounds
so melodramatic.

Let's just say that
you're my guests.

Oh...

Artemus, I told you
he was a gentleman.

A man of his character
doesn't change.

Then we've met
before, Mr. Whitney?

Well, never socially,

but, uh, when I
played Washington,

the name John Avery was
very important in politics

and in society.

Box "A" at the theater?

And now you find me out
here, in a place like this.

Oh, as I find myself, sir.

A turn of the cards.

That's right, Mr. Whitney.

A turn of the cards.

You're overdoing it, you ham.

Mr. Whitney, my men tell me

they have found two
rifles in your wagon.

Traveling in this wilderness,
one must take defense measures.

And you're on your way to Pima?

Yes, yes, an engagement there.

And you lost your way?

Mm.

I'm looking forward to seeing
your performance this evening.

That's a very tough
and cool customer.

Agreed.

Still has to be another
way out of here.

You finish setting up.

I'm going to take a look around.

Well?

I still think he's nothing

but a fancy-hatted
dude, Mr. Avery.

Harmless as a baby jackrabbit.

We can't afford the
luxury of thinking.

Mason, round up the
boys, and we'll find out

just how harmless he is.

Howdy.

Howdy, Mr. Mason.

Nice to see you again.

You know, that's one fancy hat

you got there, Mr. Play Actor.

Oh, thank you very much.

You know, I ain't
been able to get

that pretty hat
out of my thoughts.

Mr. Mason...

Hey, Chuck, you ever
seen a hat like that?

Well, now that you
mention it, I ain't.

Mr. Mason, I don't
want any trouble.

What did you call me?

All right, Jim, that's enough.

We got to play
the game their way.

Chuck, you're going
to let him call me that?

Oh, I don't know why I should.

Come on, you can
do better than that.

Hold it.

I must apologize for
my men, Mr. Whitney.

They can get a
little boisterous.

Boisterous?

Rowdies, that's what
they are, Mr. Avery.

Rowdies.

Yeah, he's harmless
all right, Mr. Avery.

Yeah, it certainly appears
that way, doesn't it?

Yeah, if he was a federal man,

he'd sure know how
to take care of himself.

Wouldn't take that
kind of a beating.

But suppose he
was a bounty hunter?

There's still a generous
price on my head, Chuck.

How you going to go
about finding that out?

By giving him his opportunity.

Mr. Whitney...

I do regret what happened.

The feeling's mutual.

I would like to make amends.

Oh, don't bother.

There's no bother, Mr. Whitney.

I was on my way
to enjoy a little sport.

Why don't you join me?

Sport, Mr. Avery?

Hunting.

I find it relaxing and, uh,

a wonderful way for men
to get to know each other.

I don't know anything
about hunting.

He doesn't even know

which end of the rifle to hold.

We'll be ready to leave in
half an hour, Mr. Whitney.

Do you call this
"sport," Mr. Avery?

My own private hunting preserve,

Mr. Whitney.

I doubt if many men can
lay claim to such a luxury.

I suppose I'll miss all
of this when I leave.

You're leaving?

Oh, yes, of course.

Greener pastures, you might say.

Canada, Europe...

It all depends on the
financial gains I realize here.

From what I've seen,
you've been quite successful.

Then you've seen the wanted
posters on John Avery, huh?

Tell me, Mr. Whitney,
do they do me justice?

Well, let's say they show
a healthy interest in you.

Last I heard, it was $10,000.

Oh, it's up to 15 now.

Ooh.

I feel honored.

Imagine what a man like
you could do with $15,000.

For a man who knows
nothing about rifles,

you caught that
quite professionally.

Well, it was an accident.

Pure instinct.

$15,000, Mr. Whitney.

Doesn't instinct
make you want to point

that rifle at me
and pull the trigger?

You're not a stupid
man, Mr. Avery.

I have no interest in the
money, but even if I did,

how far do think I'd
get with... blanks?

Blanks, Mr. Whitney?

Hey, Whitney!

Come on, Mr. Avery
wants to see you.

But we're preparing
for the show.

Mr. Avery says now.

Trouble?

Let's hope not.

At least not till I
finish my soliloquy.

This is hardly what I'd expect

from a man of
Mr. Avery's tastes.

Mr. Whitney?

Yes.

Won't you come in?

Please?

Thank you.

Mr. Avery sure is a gentleman
of elegant taste, ain't he?

That would be a
difficult point to argue.

Listen, um, that show
wagon, is it really yours?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, gosh.

I feel like I know you.

Really?

Uh-huh.

You see, I used to be

in the entertainment
business, too.

Laurie Morgan?

I used to sing in San Francisco.

Oh, oh, how lovely.

Uh-huh.

And of course a showperson

always feels close to
another showperson.

It's sort of like family.

That's how I always
feel, Laurie, yes.

Oh, I can hardly wait
to see your show tonight.

Maybe we could convince
you to sing with us.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, I'd like that.

And I have got this outfit

that I used to wear
in San Francisco...

No, Laurie.

I'm sorry.

I wouldn't think it proper.

I'm glad you could
come, Mr. Whitney.

I thought we'd have
a brandy together

before your performance.

I'd like that very much.

Why don't you get
your wrap, my dear.

There's no need to hurry.

This elegance, Mr. Whitney,
I suppose it surprises you?

I wouldn't have
expected anything less

from a man like you, Mr. Avery.

Although I must admit
I was bit confused

by the entrance.

Small precaution.

If this town were
suddenly to be overrun,

who would bother with
a deteriorated storefront?

True. Very true.

Then there are
other precautions.

I'm a cautious man, Mr. Whitney.

To your health, sir.

To yours.

Mr. Whitney, I
can't help wondering

why our paths never
crossed back in Washington.

Traveling in different
circles perhaps.

Mm-hmm, perhaps.

But you probably do know
why I had to leave Washington.

Hmm, well, yes,
I... I heard rumors.

Good choice of a
word, Mr. Whitney.

Well, I know you're
anxious to get back.

You may leave the way you came.

Oh, you will be at
the performance?

Of course.

Don't start until I get there.

Laurie, are you ready?

And, Mr. Whitney, I'd
appreciate it very much

if you would escort Miss
Morgan to your wagon.

I'll be along shortly.

My pleasure.

That's him, Mr. Avery...

James West.

Out here on orders
from Washington.

He needs to be taken care of.

Oh, he will be.

There's no rush.

Where can he go?

And you did say his orders
were to take me back... alive.

Strange man Avery.

Oh. Yeah, you
might sort of say that.

You met him in San Francisco?

Mm-hmm.

He was very nice.

Elegant gentleman

and all that.

And now you're afraid of him.

Look, um...

I think we better talk
about something else, huh?

You don't trust me, Laurie.

I saw your face in there.

I see the fear on it now.

Look, I just met you.

I don't want any trouble.

I'll scream.

He's got a lot of
men around here.

I want to help you, Laurie.

Remember what you said?

Like family almost.

Well... gee, you look like

the right kind of
gentleman and all that,

but, uh, why would you want
to stick out your neck for me?

Well, it's my neck.

When I leave here,

I may be able to get
you out in my wagon.

Oh... sure.

Just like in a storybook.

Why don't you trust me, Laurie?

You don't know Mr. Avery.

He isn't fooled so easy.

Isn't it worth a try?

Try what?

He's got this place locked
in like it was a prison.

But I think there's
another way out.

A way only Avery knows.

Hasn't he ever mentioned
anything like that, Laurie?

Look, mister, you're
going to get us killed.

Now, come on, let's
go over to your show

before somebody
sees us in here like this.

Ooh.

That didn't feel like no family.

Wasn't meant to.

Abracadabra.

Abracadabra.

And now, for my next
act of prestidigitation.

Yay!

Yoo-hoo!

And now to prove that the
hand is quicker than the eye.

Hand sure is quicker.

Please continue, Mr. Whitney.

There'll be no further
vulgar behavior.

Thank you.

And as I said,

to prove that the hand
is quicker than the eye...

Oh!

When you get the opportunity,

go out back and
invite Mr. Whitney

to have supper with us
after the performance.

And now my friends,

it is an honor to
introduce to you

the next performer.

Direct from a triumphant tour

before the crown
heads of Europe,

that great dramatic
star, Mr. Artemus Gordon.

To be... or not to be,

that is the question.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind

to suffer the slings and arrows

of outrageous fortune,

or to take arms

against a sea...

of troubles,

and by opposing, end them?

To die to sleep no more,

and by that sleep,

say we end the heartache
and the thousand natural...

Well, I just had to make sure

it had nothing
to do with family.

Now, listen, I've got a
feeling you're in trouble.

Uh, Mr. Avery wanted
me to invite you to supper

after the show tonight.

But I don't know.

I think it's something else.

Like what, Laurie?

Well, there was a man
who came to see him earlier.

Now, I didn't hear much,

but I'm quite sure it had
something to do with you.

The man... who is he?

A lawman Mr. Avery
has on his payroll.

Thanks, Laurie.

Mm. But that's the last time
I'm helping you... no more.

From now on, you
are on your own, hmm?

Oh.

Oh.

You know, gentlemen
like you really confuse me.

Thus conscience
does make cowards

of us all.

And thus

the native hue of resolution

is sicklied o'er
with the pale cast

of thought.

Oh, what it feels like
to get back on the stage.

Just listen to that.

Congratulations.

Thank you. Excuse me.

I hate to pull the
plug on your success,

but Avery knows who we are.

Avery knows?

Excuse me.

How?

Good guess would be
our friend Marshal Kirby.

It's good thing
Avery's the kind of man

who enjoys playing games.

Ah, especially when
he holds all the cards.

What do we do now?

Like Avery, we play games.

Mmm.

Yes, Mr. Whitney.

Playing games.

Oh, I find I must
disagree with you, sir.

I hardly consider the
theatrical profession

as playing games.

Come now, Mr. Whitney.

Doesn't the...

the true actor cast
aside his cloak of reality

to, uh...

well, lose himself
in an assumed role?

Mm, of course,
but not as a game.

Ah.

Then for a purpose, perhaps?

Perhaps a combination
of both: game and purpose.

But wouldn't that apply
to almost any walk of life?

As Shakespeare said,

"All the world is a stage,

and men and women
merely players."

"And one man in his
time plays many parts."

Ah, Mr. Avery, you
know Shakespeare.

No.

I know people and
life, Mr. Whitney.

Well, right here
and now, this room,

all of this could be a stage.

And you and I, merely players.

Possibly.

But we couldn't know
that till the curtain went up,

could we?

The curtain may already
be up, Mr. Whitney.

We could be waiting
for it to come down.

♪ I dream of Jeannie
with the light brown... ♪

Hey, you.

What are you doing out here?

Get over here.

Oh, please...

Please forgive
me, uh, kind, sir,

but I am newly come
from the heady wine

of theatrical triumph.

Yeah. You been
hitting that jug, all right.

Oh, sir, my
performance tonight...

Why surely you recall
a magnificent ovation

that was given to me?

No. I got stuck with
this here guard duty.

Now you get on back
over to your wagon.

You mean you missed
my performance?

That's appalling.

But never fear, sir,

you shall not be
deprived of the right

to sit at the table
of cultural ambrosia.

"Am-" what?

No, sir.

You shall be granted a
personal performance.

Hold on now.

O that this too, too
solid flesh would melt,

thaw, and resolve
itself into a dew.

Cut that out.

But two months dead,
nay, not so much, not two

so excellent a king,
that was, to this

Hyperion to a satyr,

so loving to my mother

that he might not beteem
the winds of heaven

visit her face too roughly.

Heaven and earth!

Must I remember?

Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him well.

Excellent dinner, Mr. Avery.

My compliments.

Thank you.

My dear, I know how
cigar smoke disturbs you.

Oh, no!

But it does.

Brandy, Mr. Whitney?

Please. Thank you.

Well, one would think we
were back in Washington.

A pleasant thought.

Yes. The two of us back
in Washington together.

That would please you,
wouldn't it, Mister, uh...

West...

isn't it?

James West.

You're a clever and brave man,
Mr. West, and I appreciate that.

And you're going
to find it a shame

to have to kill me, correct?

On the contrary, I expect
to find it a pleasure.

Guard!

Come in here!

I'm sure, Mr. West, that
you will be delighted to learn

that you will be buried
with full military honors.

A turn of the cards, Mr. Avery.

There's still an entire
deck to be played, Mr. West.

He acts like he's
holding the winning hand.

Maybe he is.

We still have to
get him out of here.

Well, Mr. West, you got
in, and you've got me...

Now, how do you
propose to get out?

Laurie?!

It's all right.

I'm going to ask you to
help us, to help yourself.

That other way out...

where is it?

Don't worry, we'll
take you with us.

But I can't; he'll kill me.

There is no other
way out, Mr. West.

If there were, do you think

that I would be foolish
enough to divulge it to her?

It's your one chance, Laurie.

It's your one chance to escape.

What do you think he'll
do when he tires of you?

You think he'll let you leave?

He's right, Laurie. You know it.

Easy...

Gadzooks.

Very ingenious, Mr. Avery.

A clever emergency exit.

And since this is an
emergency, shall we?

But first...

You wouldn't mind

putting your hands behind
your back, would you?

It's quite damp down
there, Mr. Gordon.

How do you like that?

He's still playing it
like a winning hand.

I better have a look
down there, Jim.

Still concerned, Mr. West?

Still cautious, Mr. Avery.

You better get a wrap, Laurie.

Now, I wouldn't like to
be gagged, Mr. West.

Do you think that I
would cry out for help?

All clear down there, Jim.

My hat, Mr. West, if you please.

No, I'd prefer the
black one, please.

Magnificent.

I command a loyal group
of followers, Mr. West.

Well, then I guess
it's just about that time.

I'm sure Grandfather
will forgive me.

Shall we continue, Mr. Avery?

I don't seem to have
much choice, do I?

Lead on, MacDuff.

You better wait here.

Right.

Mr. Avery!

You all right up there?

Yes, fine, Chuck.

Good work.

Just be patient.

As I said, Mr. West,
I'm a cautious man.

That was a prearranged signal...

This black hat.

Leaving the white one behind

told my men I was in trouble.

Also, a $20,000 reward
for the men who rescue me.

The winning hand.

I'm going to need that rifle.

Let's get rid of the horses!

There's no more than
eight of them out there.

Perhaps I should say seven.

Looks like your boys don't want
to spread the reward too thin.

There are more
of them on the way.

And you had to
blow up this tunnel.

You've locked yourself in, West.

There's no way out.

Perhaps you'd like to
discuss some sort of deal?

Perhaps you'd like to
discuss some sort of deal?

I can just see

a cold-blooded butcher
like you letting us go.

Artemus, do that again.

What? Avery's voice.

What? Oh, you mean...

Perhaps you'd like to
discuss some sort of deal?

You'll have to
pardon my rudeness.

Laurie...

watch him.

Artemus, you're about to give

the greatest performance
of your career.

Curtain's up, Artemus.

Chuck, this is Avery.

Hold your fire.

Can you hear me?

Yes, I hear you, Mr. Avery.

West is giving up.

It's all over, men.

It worked.

Let's get the others.

Where are the other fireworks?

Oh.

Take Laurie and
put her in the last car.

Right.

Well, Mr. Avery, shall we?

Hey, wasn't that Mr. Avery
they just dumped in the car?

It sure was.

Everybody all right?

A final turn of the
cards, Mr. Avery.

The engineer tells me
that steam is up, sir,

and we are ready to press on.

It's a long trip to
Chicago, Mr. Avery.

You can ride with me,

or we do have a
rolling cell up forward.

I'd like your promise, though,

that you don't try and escape.

However, the choice is yours.

Don't be ridiculous, West.

The rolling cell, of course.

Well, at least you'll
have company

in the form of
U.S. Marshal Kirby.

I'll show you to
your quarters, sir.

And, Laurie, I'm sure
I have your promise

that you won't try to escape

on the long trip to Chicago.

Oh, gosh, all this
elegance, Mr. West.

Why, it ought to be real fun

traveling clear to Chicago

in such fancy style.

Not to mention the fun

of a fascinating
traveling companion.

Oh, but Chicago, Mr. West.

I don't know a soul in Chicago.

What would I do
there all by myself?

My dear, the name Artemus
Gordon is sheer magic

in Chicago theatrical circles.

It can open doors.

Really, Mr. Gordon?

Oh, I would deem
it a pleasure, Laurie.

Now with all that settled,
on our way to Chicago, right?

Wrong.

I'm heading the other way.

You see, gentleman
like you still confuse me.

Oh.

I guess simple girls like me

should just never leave home.

Bye.

Artemus, it's going to
be a long trip to Chicago.

James, my boy, you
just can't win them all.