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1
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But I think my
favorite mayor of all
2
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was Mr. John D. Lindsay.
3
00:00:39,397 --> 00:00:41,196
Marvelous politician
and, if I may say,
4
00:00:41,263 --> 00:00:43,061
easy on the eyes.
5
00:00:44,030 --> 00:00:45,096
Hey, guys, good walk?
6
00:00:45,131 --> 00:00:46,864
Oh, it was great.
Arthur's been telling me
7
00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:48,498
all these funny mayor stories.
8
00:00:48,564 --> 00:00:50,164
Oh, yeah? Oh, Holly,
9
00:00:50,231 --> 00:00:52,197
let me pay you for this week.
10
00:00:52,265 --> 00:00:54,165
There you go, sweetie. Thanks.
11
00:00:54,233 --> 00:00:56,499
You don't have to
pay my dogwalker
12
00:00:56,567 --> 00:00:59,799
in front of me like
I'm an animal!
13
00:00:59,866 --> 00:01:01,899
Well, you can earn some money
14
00:01:01,966 --> 00:01:03,866
and pay her yourself.
15
00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:07,133
Easy there, sister. I was
just making conversation.
16
00:01:07,202 --> 00:01:08,300
Holly: Thanks, Carr.
17
00:01:08,367 --> 00:01:09,534
Listen, Arthur, I'm
adding a new dog
18
00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:10,600
to our walk next time...
19
00:01:10,668 --> 00:01:12,867
This adorable Jack Russell.
20
00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:14,235
I hope it's not the Jack Russell
21
00:01:14,303 --> 00:01:17,402
I knew in the army. I
left him for dead.
22
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:19,801
Hey, babe.
23
00:01:19,869 --> 00:01:22,636
Hi, honey. Listen, I'm sorry
24
00:01:22,704 --> 00:01:23,701
I couldn't make that meeting
25
00:01:23,769 --> 00:01:25,336
with the mortgage guy.
How'd it go?
26
00:01:25,403 --> 00:01:27,037
Great. He ran down
the options for me,
27
00:01:27,104 --> 00:01:29,269
and I think I selected
us a refinancing plan
28
00:01:29,337 --> 00:01:30,737
that fits our needs pretty well.
29
00:01:30,805 --> 00:01:32,305
Yeah? Which?
30
00:01:32,372 --> 00:01:34,537
Uh, the purple one.
31
00:01:34,604 --> 00:01:36,803
Did you even read it?
32
00:01:36,871 --> 00:01:37,705
No, but the broker
was pushing it,
33
00:01:37,773 --> 00:01:39,839
and he seemed like a
pretty bright guy.
34
00:01:39,906 --> 00:01:41,472
Look, the middle-aged
black couple here
35
00:01:41,539 --> 00:01:43,606
seems pretty happy with it.
36
00:01:43,674 --> 00:01:45,140
You're not ready
37
00:01:45,207 --> 00:01:48,473
to do grown-up stuff
on your own, are you?
38
00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:50,006
I got the gist of it, all right?
39
00:01:50,074 --> 00:01:52,073
Right now we got 7 years
left on our mortgage.
40
00:01:52,141 --> 00:01:53,374
If we switch to this one,
41
00:01:53,442 --> 00:01:54,907
it's gonna bring our
payments way down
42
00:01:54,974 --> 00:01:57,541
because we're gonna spread 'em
out over the next 30 years.
43
00:01:57,608 --> 00:01:58,708
Hmm. That sounds good.
44
00:01:58,775 --> 00:01:59,808
Yeah. My only concern was
45
00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:03,975
are we really gonna dig
each other for that long?
46
00:02:04,043 --> 00:02:06,342
Well, unless you leave
me for a roast beef,
47
00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:08,876
I think we're OK.
48
00:02:08,944 --> 00:02:10,009
So when do we sign everything?
49
00:02:10,077 --> 00:02:11,543
I'm picking up the
application tomorrow
50
00:02:11,611 --> 00:02:12,643
and I'll bring it
by your office.
51
00:02:12,710 --> 00:02:13,644
Holy sweet Mother,
52
00:02:13,711 --> 00:02:16,278
I'm staring at a
bowl of chocolate.
53
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,110
Yeah, I'm making brownies.
54
00:02:18,178 --> 00:02:19,278
Hey, get away.
They're not for you.
55
00:02:19,345 --> 00:02:20,411
They're for Curt from work.
56
00:02:20,479 --> 00:02:21,845
Who?
57
00:02:21,913 --> 00:02:22,545
Curt, my friend from work.
58
00:02:22,613 --> 00:02:23,912
It's his birthday tomorrow.
59
00:02:23,979 --> 00:02:24,678
Uh-huh.
60
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,646
No... no! Stop it!
61
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,546
Don't... don't do it!
62
00:02:29,614 --> 00:02:30,646
No!
63
00:02:30,714 --> 00:02:31,913
You only bake a
few times a year!
64
00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:34,048
I should be on the business
end of all of 'em!
65
00:02:34,115 --> 00:02:37,482
Doug, I limit my baking
to keep you alive.
66
00:02:37,549 --> 00:02:40,715
Look, you know, I'm not sure I like
you baking for another man, anyway.
67
00:02:40,782 --> 00:02:41,748
All right. You know what? Relax.
68
00:02:41,816 --> 00:02:43,381
Curt is gay.
69
00:02:43,449 --> 00:02:45,649
Oh, well, then there's
no way he can eat
70
00:02:45,716 --> 00:02:48,215
a tray full of brownies and still
look good in his gay pants.
71
00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:49,149
So give. Give 'em to me.
72
00:02:49,217 --> 00:02:50,616
Stop it! Stop!
73
00:03:00,452 --> 00:03:01,784
Woman: Hey, Doug. Oh, hey, Amy.
74
00:03:01,852 --> 00:03:03,118
You, uh, see the wifeski?
75
00:03:04,186 --> 00:03:06,252
The what? The wifeski.
76
00:03:07,386 --> 00:03:10,020
I'm sorry. I don't know
what you're saying.
77
00:03:10,088 --> 00:03:11,719
My wife Carrie.
Have you seen her?
78
00:03:11,786 --> 00:03:12,753
Oh.
79
00:03:12,821 --> 00:03:14,587
Yeah, she should be back
from lunch any minute.
80
00:03:14,654 --> 00:03:15,721
Thanks. OK.
81
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,056
Hey, honey.
82
00:03:31,124 --> 00:03:32,489
Doug: Hey! Hey!
83
00:03:32,556 --> 00:03:33,490
How are ya? Good.
84
00:03:33,557 --> 00:03:34,589
I brought the mortgage down.
85
00:03:34,657 --> 00:03:35,589
Oh, good.
86
00:03:35,657 --> 00:03:36,690
Curt, this is my husband Doug.
87
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,391
Oh, it's great to
meet you finally.
88
00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:39,657
C-Curt. Brownie Curt.
89
00:03:39,725 --> 00:03:41,425
Yeah. I'd offer you one,
90
00:03:41,492 --> 00:03:43,291
but my co-workers pretty much
mowed right through them.
91
00:03:43,359 --> 00:03:45,658
I yanked my hands
away just in time.
92
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,724
Well, no biggie.
93
00:03:54,261 --> 00:03:56,727
Speaking of scary co-workers,
94
00:03:56,795 --> 00:03:59,427
did you see Vanveen
make his way over here?
95
00:03:59,495 --> 00:04:00,461
Uh, yeah.
96
00:04:00,528 --> 00:04:01,661
He was just standing
there, staring at us...
97
00:04:01,728 --> 00:04:03,494
"What ya got there? Brownies?"
98
00:04:03,562 --> 00:04:04,496
Very odd. Carrie: Very odd,
99
00:04:04,563 --> 00:04:06,195
and did you see he was
wearing that thing again?
100
00:04:06,197 --> 00:04:06,962
That thing with the snaps?
101
00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:07,961
Yeah, yeah.
102
00:04:08,029 --> 00:04:08,961
He thinks it works for him.
103
00:04:09,029 --> 00:04:10,129
It doesn't. Uh-uh!
104
00:04:12,097 --> 00:04:13,262
Yeah, totally.
105
00:04:17,031 --> 00:04:19,631
So anyway, I got the, uh,
mortgage thing here.
106
00:04:19,699 --> 00:04:21,264
You just gotta sign next
to the little tabbies.
107
00:04:21,331 --> 00:04:22,831
All right, well, did you
read through it this time?
108
00:04:22,899 --> 00:04:23,964
No.
109
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,630
I paid the guy to put
the tabbies there
110
00:04:26,698 --> 00:04:27,698
so we wouldn't have to read it.
111
00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:28,798
OK, I'm gonna go make a copy.
112
00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:29,765
I'll be right back.
113
00:04:32,734 --> 00:04:33,998
Oh, God, I'm stuffed.
114
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,433
Carrie took me out for sushi.
115
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:39,433
Oh, great. That's one less
time she begs me to go.
116
00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:41,600
Raw fish not as
good as cooked cow.
117
00:04:43,402 --> 00:04:44,468
Hey!
118
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,268
It's Carrie's work husband
119
00:04:46,336 --> 00:04:47,501
and her real husband
120
00:04:47,569 --> 00:04:48,668
in the same place.
121
00:04:54,637 --> 00:04:56,102
Work husband?
122
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,170
Oh, yeah. It's just this
joke they got going here
123
00:04:58,238 --> 00:04:59,203
'cause we're always together.
124
00:04:59,271 --> 00:05:00,303
I'm her work husband.
125
00:05:00,371 --> 00:05:01,338
She's my work wife.
126
00:05:01,405 --> 00:05:02,304
It's stupid.
127
00:05:02,372 --> 00:05:04,070
No, no, it's...
128
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:06,305
It's funny. It's funny.
129
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,471
All right, honey. Here ya go.
130
00:05:08,539 --> 00:05:09,838
OK. All right.
131
00:05:09,905 --> 00:05:12,472
Now we gotta go set up the
conference room for a meeting.
132
00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:13,706
The millionaires will riot
133
00:05:13,774 --> 00:05:15,039
if they don't get
their free muffins.
134
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,039
OK. OK.
135
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,040
Curt: It's nice to meet you.
136
00:05:17,107 --> 00:05:18,005
You, too.
137
00:05:36,776 --> 00:05:37,977
Douglas.
138
00:05:38,044 --> 00:05:39,342
Hey, Arthur.
139
00:05:41,978 --> 00:05:43,911
What's troubling you, Son?
140
00:05:43,978 --> 00:05:45,077
You never looked heavier.
141
00:05:53,647 --> 00:05:54,578
Thanks.
142
00:05:55,847 --> 00:05:57,846
Come here.
143
00:05:57,914 --> 00:05:59,146
Well, there's this...
144
00:05:59,181 --> 00:06:02,313
There's this guy that
Carrie works with.
145
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:03,880
Nothing really bad's going on.
146
00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:05,815
Actually, he's gay.
147
00:06:05,881 --> 00:06:08,648
Ah, the homosexuals.
148
00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:11,781
It's wonderful, the things
they've given to our culture.
149
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:12,948
I'm a big fan.
150
00:06:15,082 --> 00:06:16,015
Can I finish?
151
00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:16,982
All right.
152
00:06:17,050 --> 00:06:18,049
So anyway,
153
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:20,849
she and this guy got
this thing going.
154
00:06:20,917 --> 00:06:22,283
They're really close,
155
00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:24,050
and they have all
these inside jokes.
156
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,050
They go out for sushi,
157
00:06:25,117 --> 00:06:26,084
and it turns out
the people there
158
00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:28,050
call him her work husband.
159
00:06:28,117 --> 00:06:29,285
I mean, what's with that?
160
00:06:29,352 --> 00:06:31,484
Come on. It's innocent fun.
161
00:06:31,552 --> 00:06:33,985
I actually had a work wife once.
162
00:06:34,053 --> 00:06:35,785
Really? Mm-hmm.
163
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:38,152
Her name was Phyllis Schneck.
164
00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:40,820
She worked with me
in a crab cannery
165
00:06:40,886 --> 00:06:42,619
in Glen Burnie, Maryland.
166
00:06:42,687 --> 00:06:44,453
All righty.
167
00:06:44,521 --> 00:06:46,320
Every morning, I would
kiss my real wife good-bye
168
00:06:46,388 --> 00:06:48,120
and head to work.
169
00:06:48,188 --> 00:06:49,354
Down at the cannery,
170
00:06:49,422 --> 00:06:51,587
Phyllis and I would laugh
our heads off all day,
171
00:06:51,656 --> 00:06:56,321
you know, real
inside crab humor.
172
00:06:56,388 --> 00:06:57,455
Then, one day,
173
00:06:57,523 --> 00:06:59,022
at the company picnic,
174
00:06:59,089 --> 00:07:01,622
we hopped off into the forest
175
00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:03,789
in a potato sack
176
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:06,189
and made love like rabbits.
177
00:07:12,024 --> 00:07:13,457
Now that I think
about it, Douglas,
178
00:07:13,525 --> 00:07:17,858
gay or not, new guy
spells bad news.
179
00:07:17,926 --> 00:07:20,025
The new guy's so cute, isn't he?
180
00:07:20,093 --> 00:07:21,459
He's OK.
181
00:07:21,527 --> 00:07:23,226
I doubt he'll be
doing any Alpo ads
182
00:07:23,293 --> 00:07:24,859
anytime soon.
183
00:07:24,927 --> 00:07:27,193
You're so good with
the Frisbee, Pee-wee.
184
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:29,227
You're so good with the Frisbee.
185
00:07:29,294 --> 00:07:30,160
We get it.
186
00:07:30,228 --> 00:07:31,627
He's good with the Frisbee.
187
00:07:42,631 --> 00:07:43,995
Hey. Hey.
188
00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:45,630
How was the rest
of your work day?
189
00:07:45,697 --> 00:07:46,963
Fine.
190
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,530
Just fine? Come on,
give me more than that.
191
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:49,696
What?
192
00:07:49,764 --> 00:07:51,797
Come on. I want to be
part of your work life.
193
00:07:53,232 --> 00:07:55,931
Do you also want to pick out
my outfit for tomorrow?
194
00:07:55,999 --> 00:07:56,997
Look, I'm serious.
195
00:07:57,065 --> 00:07:58,299
Like, what's up
with the weird guy
196
00:07:58,366 --> 00:07:59,665
who kept staring
at the brownies?
197
00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:01,132
Vanveen? Yes!
198
00:08:01,199 --> 00:08:03,766
What the hell is
up with Vanveen?
199
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:07,233
Give me the what-what
on Vanveen.
200
00:08:07,301 --> 00:08:08,166
Nothing.
201
00:08:08,233 --> 00:08:10,700
Just a very annoying
man who's 4'11".
202
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:11,967
Why do you care?
203
00:08:12,035 --> 00:08:14,668
Well, excuse me for
wanting to know
204
00:08:14,735 --> 00:08:15,501
as much about your life
205
00:08:15,568 --> 00:08:17,868
as your work husband does.
206
00:08:17,936 --> 00:08:19,502
What? That's right.
207
00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,203
You didn't think I'd find
out you're a bigamist,
208
00:08:21,269 --> 00:08:24,501
did you, Utah?
209
00:08:24,569 --> 00:08:25,368
Doug, are you
actually telling me
210
00:08:25,436 --> 00:08:27,470
you're upset because
I have a friend
211
00:08:27,537 --> 00:08:28,470
who people, as a dumb joke,
212
00:08:28,537 --> 00:08:29,470
call my work husband?
213
00:08:29,537 --> 00:08:30,470
No, you know, you're right.
214
00:08:30,537 --> 00:08:31,604
Why am I getting upset? Really.
215
00:08:31,671 --> 00:08:32,604
You just have another husband.
That's all.
216
00:08:32,670 --> 00:08:34,404
Doug, Curt is gay.
217
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,870
What part of gay do
you not understand?
218
00:08:36,938 --> 00:08:40,038
I understand plenty
parts of gay.
219
00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:41,338
Do you, Doug? Yeah, I do.
220
00:08:41,405 --> 00:08:43,705
Well, you're being ridiculous.
221
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,738
Look, even if there
is no sex involved,
222
00:08:45,806 --> 00:08:46,772
how would you like it
223
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,139
if I had a work
wife at IPS, huh?
224
00:08:50,207 --> 00:08:51,606
What if Wanda the
dispatcher and I
225
00:08:51,674 --> 00:08:53,540
just started spending
all this time together?
226
00:08:53,608 --> 00:08:56,140
Wanda never leaves her desk.
227
00:08:56,208 --> 00:08:58,608
She's 400 pounds.
228
00:08:58,675 --> 00:08:59,574
Of fun.
229
00:08:59,641 --> 00:09:01,275
All right, you know what?
230
00:09:01,342 --> 00:09:04,275
I am done with
this conversation.
231
00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:05,375
Whether he's gay or not,
232
00:09:05,443 --> 00:09:07,175
bottom line is you
found somebody at work
233
00:09:07,243 --> 00:09:08,243
you're sharing all
these things with
234
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:09,876
that you should be
sharing with me.
235
00:09:09,944 --> 00:09:12,043
You guys have all
these inside jokes.
236
00:09:12,111 --> 00:09:13,977
You got all this
stuff in common.
237
00:09:14,045 --> 00:09:16,111
You go out for
lunch, you hang out.
238
00:09:16,178 --> 00:09:19,943
You just described your exact
relationship with Deacon.
239
00:09:21,712 --> 00:09:23,345
No, I didn't.
240
00:09:23,413 --> 00:09:25,212
Think about it.
241
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,545
Have I ever once baked
brownies for Deacon?
242
00:09:27,613 --> 00:09:29,213
No, but you made him
that big sandwich,
243
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,979
and you told me how much you
enjoyed watching him eat it.
244
00:09:33,046 --> 00:09:34,813
OK, that was a new kind
of ham I discovered.
245
00:09:34,881 --> 00:09:36,347
It's totally different.
246
00:09:36,415 --> 00:09:39,548
And you guys have a
million inside jokes.
247
00:09:39,615 --> 00:09:41,114
I mean, I come home, you
two are on the couch...
248
00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:42,448
"Hey, Eddie, Eddie."
249
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:45,215
I mean, I don't know what the
hell you guys talk about.
250
00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:47,715
So, admit it.
251
00:09:47,782 --> 00:09:49,049
There are many times
252
00:09:49,117 --> 00:09:50,583
you'd rather be spending time
with Deacon than with me.
253
00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:52,016
So whether you like it or not,
254
00:09:52,084 --> 00:09:54,049
he is your work wife.
255
00:09:57,152 --> 00:09:58,083
You're ugly.
256
00:10:00,785 --> 00:10:02,351
What's up, man?
257
00:10:02,419 --> 00:10:03,485
What's up?
258
00:10:11,721 --> 00:10:15,520
♪ Oh, you are everything
259
00:10:15,588 --> 00:10:18,454
♪ And everything is you
260
00:10:18,521 --> 00:10:22,054
♪ Oh, you are everything
261
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:25,188
♪ And everything is you
262
00:10:25,256 --> 00:10:28,922
♪ Oh, you are everything
263
00:10:28,989 --> 00:10:32,223
♪ And everything is you
264
00:10:36,491 --> 00:10:38,624
♪ How can I forget
265
00:10:38,692 --> 00:10:42,591
♪ When each face that I see ♪
266
00:10:42,659 --> 00:10:45,958
♪ Brings back memories
267
00:10:46,026 --> 00:10:51,360
♪ Of being with you
268
00:10:51,427 --> 00:10:53,926
♪ I just can't go on
269
00:10:53,994 --> 00:10:56,727
♪ Living life as I do
270
00:10:56,794 --> 00:10:59,126
♪ Comparing each girl to...
271
00:11:01,362 --> 00:11:03,628
You wanna catch a movie tonight?
272
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,028
Try and stop me.
273
00:11:07,163 --> 00:11:09,262
Look at the ball, Pee-wee.
Ready?
274
00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:10,262
Go get it.
275
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:13,028
Oh, isn't he great?
I just love him.
276
00:11:13,096 --> 00:11:14,430
By the way, I was reading
a scathing piece
277
00:11:14,498 --> 00:11:16,430
in the op-ed section
of today's Times.
278
00:11:16,498 --> 00:11:17,829
Did you happen to see it?
No, I didn't.
279
00:11:17,897 --> 00:11:18,663
Oh, who's a good boy?
280
00:11:18,731 --> 00:11:20,031
You're a good boy.
281
00:11:20,098 --> 00:11:21,664
You're a good boy. Ready?
282
00:11:21,732 --> 00:11:23,496
Go get it again.
283
00:11:23,564 --> 00:11:24,198
It was saying we haven't had
284
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,431
a decent secretary of commerce
285
00:11:25,499 --> 00:11:27,198
in over a decade. Oh, real...
286
00:11:27,266 --> 00:11:28,398
Oh, who's smarter than you?
287
00:11:28,465 --> 00:11:29,565
Nobody.
288
00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:31,031
Nobody's smarter than you.
Ready?
289
00:11:31,099 --> 00:11:31,999
Look at it.
290
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,832
Look at it.
291
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,266
Go get it.
292
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:37,700
Arthur: Come here! Come here!
293
00:11:39,134 --> 00:11:40,434
Give me that ball, Pee-wee!
294
00:11:40,502 --> 00:11:41,900
Give it to me!
295
00:11:45,203 --> 00:11:47,100
I believe this is yours.
296
00:11:48,968 --> 00:11:51,201
Carrie: Curt, do
not ask him out.
297
00:11:51,269 --> 00:11:53,135
Because he's straight.
298
00:11:53,203 --> 00:11:55,669
He is.
299
00:11:55,737 --> 00:11:57,069
All right, good luck to you.
300
00:11:57,137 --> 00:11:58,669
Hey, call me after
the train wreck.
301
00:11:58,737 --> 00:11:59,903
OK. Bye.
302
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,602
It's wonderful to
see how you kids
303
00:12:02,670 --> 00:12:05,036
keep your marriage so fresh.
304
00:12:05,104 --> 00:12:06,637
Ha ha ha ha ha.
305
00:12:06,705 --> 00:12:08,638
Listen, the mortgage guy called.
306
00:12:08,706 --> 00:12:11,071
He wants us to meet him in
his office at 3:30 tomorrow
307
00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:12,238
to sign the final papers.
308
00:12:12,306 --> 00:12:13,238
Doug: Great.
309
00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:14,272
In other news, you were right.
310
00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:15,272
Deacon is my work wife,
311
00:12:15,340 --> 00:12:16,273
and I'm good with that.
312
00:12:16,341 --> 00:12:17,673
So there you go.
313
00:12:17,774 --> 00:12:19,240
Are you still on this thing?
314
00:12:19,307 --> 00:12:20,772
I'm not on or off anything, OK?
315
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,140
It's just fact.
316
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:23,641
You found somebody you like
to spend all your time with,
317
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:24,840
and so have I.
318
00:12:24,908 --> 00:12:25,940
Don't be a moron.
319
00:12:26,008 --> 00:12:28,974
I never said I wanted to
spend all my time with Curt.
320
00:12:29,043 --> 00:12:31,074
It's fine. You guys can
hang out, eat sushi.
321
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,409
Deacon and I are
going out tonight
322
00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:34,209
to explore one of our
common interests,
323
00:12:34,277 --> 00:12:36,610
the cinema of Mr. Vin Diesel.
324
00:12:37,643 --> 00:12:38,943
OK, you know what?
325
00:12:44,011 --> 00:12:45,977
Hey, Curt, it's me again.
326
00:12:46,044 --> 00:12:48,811
Hey, do you want to go dancing
or something tonight?
327
00:12:48,879 --> 00:12:50,478
OK, great.
328
00:12:50,546 --> 00:12:52,545
So I'll see you in, what,
like, a half hour?
329
00:12:52,613 --> 00:12:54,044
All right, hon. Bye-bye.
330
00:12:56,113 --> 00:12:57,312
Ya happy?
331
00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:58,112
Thrilled.
332
00:12:58,180 --> 00:12:59,579
It's better this way.
333
00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:00,446
Now you don't have
to pretend to care
334
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:02,913
about sports and ground beef,
335
00:13:02,981 --> 00:13:03,980
and I don't have
to pretend to care
336
00:13:04,047 --> 00:13:05,014
about your new shoes
337
00:13:05,082 --> 00:13:07,714
and your feelings.
338
00:13:07,782 --> 00:13:09,681
You know what? Maybe
I do wanna spend
339
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,914
every second of
my day with Curt.
340
00:13:11,981 --> 00:13:13,115
Feels good to admit it, right?
341
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,514
Feels fantastic.
342
00:13:14,582 --> 00:13:15,515
Would you do me a favor?
343
00:13:15,650 --> 00:13:16,914
Please hand me my
Michael Jordan cologne.
344
00:13:18,151 --> 00:13:19,382
Thank you. Mm-hmm.
345
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,450
Here we go.
346
00:13:20,518 --> 00:13:21,482
Wow, wow.
347
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,116
I like to smell good for my man.
348
00:13:23,184 --> 00:13:24,150
OK.
349
00:13:25,751 --> 00:13:26,383
Zip me, please.
350
00:13:26,451 --> 00:13:28,118
Not a problem.
351
00:13:28,185 --> 00:13:29,418
Zip me, please.
352
00:13:33,719 --> 00:13:35,018
What, your fly?
353
00:13:35,086 --> 00:13:36,019
That's right. My fly.
354
00:13:36,087 --> 00:13:37,652
You can zip your own fly.
355
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,586
That is such a slap in the face.
356
00:13:47,454 --> 00:13:48,986
Hey, you think Vin
Diesel's full name
357
00:13:49,054 --> 00:13:51,554
is Vincent Diesel?
358
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,322
I think the name is
totally made-up.
359
00:13:53,389 --> 00:13:54,088
Really?
360
00:13:54,156 --> 00:13:55,187
So you don't think
out there somewhere
361
00:13:55,254 --> 00:13:57,422
there's a very proud
Sam and Edna Diesel?
362
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:02,223
Doug?
363
00:14:02,290 --> 00:14:03,189
Hey, Carrie.
364
00:14:03,257 --> 00:14:05,323
Hello.
365
00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:06,489
What are you doing here?
366
00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:10,391
I told you I wanted
to try this place.
367
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,558
What are you doing here?
368
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:15,824
Sorry, I didn't realize
you owned El Diablo's.
369
00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:18,758
Waitress: Can I
start you guys off
370
00:14:18,826 --> 00:14:20,126
with something to drink?
371
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,559
Yeah, I'll have a margarita.
372
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:22,659
Oh, do you wanna share one?
373
00:14:22,726 --> 00:14:23,658
I don't drink that much.
374
00:14:23,726 --> 00:14:25,892
Oh, sure. We'll
share a margarita.
375
00:14:25,959 --> 00:14:28,026
Oh, and Deacon and I will
share a margarita as well.
376
00:14:32,362 --> 00:14:34,060
No, we won't.
377
00:14:34,128 --> 00:14:35,528
Fine, then we'll share 2.
378
00:14:35,596 --> 00:14:36,895
OK, thanks.
379
00:14:38,362 --> 00:14:40,229
So, what did you
guys do tonight?
380
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,628
Saw a movie. Loved it.
381
00:14:41,729 --> 00:14:43,462
Lot of explosions
and loud noises.
382
00:14:43,530 --> 00:14:45,496
Not for you two.
383
00:14:45,564 --> 00:14:46,997
So how was your
little dance party?
384
00:14:47,065 --> 00:14:48,296
It was great.
385
00:14:48,364 --> 00:14:49,897
Curt's a really great dancer.
386
00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:50,897
He's in great shape
387
00:14:50,964 --> 00:14:52,564
'cause he works out a lot.
388
00:14:52,632 --> 00:14:53,297
Oh, wow.
389
00:14:53,365 --> 00:14:54,363
Jeez.
390
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:55,898
Well, Curt, what do you bench?
391
00:14:55,966 --> 00:14:58,098
Oh, um, about 180.
392
00:14:58,166 --> 00:14:59,564
180. Deac, how about you?
393
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,832
I don't know. Like, 210.
394
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:01,931
210?
395
00:15:01,999 --> 00:15:03,232
Hmm.
396
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,932
That's slightly more than Curt.
397
00:15:07,566 --> 00:15:08,632
Wow, Doug.
398
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,433
Your work wife can bench more
399
00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:12,499
than my work husband.
400
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,268
Um, you know,
401
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,801
I think I'm just gonna
go check on our drinks.
402
00:15:26,870 --> 00:15:27,935
Work wife?
403
00:15:29,371 --> 00:15:30,536
Yeah, Curt is her work husband.
404
00:15:30,603 --> 00:15:31,804
You're my work wife.
405
00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:34,670
Do I like pinto beans
or black beans?
406
00:15:36,539 --> 00:15:38,338
Work wife?
407
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,538
Don't worry about it. It's fine.
408
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:41,872
Oh, lookee here.
409
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:43,706
Looks like Curt's found
himself another date.
410
00:15:43,773 --> 00:15:45,105
Carrie: Oh.
411
00:15:45,172 --> 00:15:46,039
Perfect.
412
00:15:46,106 --> 00:15:47,338
I was having a great
night with him
413
00:15:47,406 --> 00:15:48,405
until you showed up.
414
00:15:48,473 --> 00:15:51,106
Work wife?!
415
00:15:51,174 --> 00:15:52,107
It's nothing.
416
00:15:52,175 --> 00:15:53,273
Don't make a scene.
417
00:15:55,674 --> 00:15:57,073
I... I don't know what the
hell's going on between you two,
418
00:15:57,142 --> 00:15:58,441
but don't drag me into this,
419
00:15:58,509 --> 00:16:00,308
and don't call me
your work wife.
420
00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:05,541
If anything, you're
my work wife.
421
00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:11,309
Pee-wee.
422
00:16:11,377 --> 00:16:13,376
Who's the best Pee-wee?
423
00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:14,877
You're the best Pee-wee.
424
00:16:15,978 --> 00:16:17,077
Woman: Excuse me?
425
00:16:17,145 --> 00:16:18,111
Do you know what time it is?
426
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,343
It's, uh...
427
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:29,012
It's a quarter past
the hour of 2:00.
428
00:16:29,079 --> 00:16:31,179
Thanks.
429
00:16:31,246 --> 00:16:33,879
May I assume you walk
dogs professionally?
430
00:16:33,947 --> 00:16:34,746
Yup.
431
00:16:34,814 --> 00:16:37,113
Would you happen to
have any openings
432
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:38,314
in your group?
433
00:16:38,382 --> 00:16:40,414
Sure. Always room for one more.
434
00:16:41,881 --> 00:16:44,115
Uh, where's your dog?
435
00:16:44,182 --> 00:16:45,682
You're looking at him.
436
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:48,482
Time to go, Arthur.
437
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,582
Actually, while you've
been heaping love
438
00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:52,016
on your precious Pee-wee,
439
00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:53,883
I made other arrangements.
440
00:16:53,951 --> 00:16:55,682
This striking young lady
441
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:58,383
will be walking me henceforth.
442
00:16:58,452 --> 00:16:59,451
Arthur, are you actually saying
443
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,617
that you're jealous of Pee-wee?
444
00:17:01,685 --> 00:17:03,718
Arthur, he's a dog.
You're a person.
445
00:17:03,786 --> 00:17:04,717
Spin it any way you want.
446
00:17:04,785 --> 00:17:07,019
It still stinks.
447
00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:08,184
Oh, come on, Arthur.
448
00:17:08,252 --> 00:17:09,785
You know I love walking you.
449
00:17:09,853 --> 00:17:10,785
Prove it.
450
00:17:10,853 --> 00:17:12,586
Either he goes or I go.
451
00:17:12,653 --> 00:17:14,586
Well, I gotta say
Pee-wee's owners
452
00:17:14,654 --> 00:17:16,953
do pay me slightly more than...
453
00:17:17,021 --> 00:17:18,353
yours.
454
00:17:18,421 --> 00:17:20,287
Fine. I'm out of here.
455
00:17:20,354 --> 00:17:22,321
Congratulations, Pee-wee.
456
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,654
Enjoy it till she
tosses you aside
457
00:17:24,722 --> 00:17:26,121
for the next young pup!
458
00:17:26,189 --> 00:17:27,722
Oh.
459
00:17:30,223 --> 00:17:33,456
Well... I'm yours.
460
00:17:33,524 --> 00:17:35,622
Which direction are we going?
461
00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:37,257
I'm sorry.
462
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,290
I don't walk people.
463
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,256
Uh-huh.
464
00:17:41,324 --> 00:17:44,357
I wish you'd told
me that before.
465
00:17:44,425 --> 00:17:45,825
Holly!
466
00:17:47,158 --> 00:17:48,292
Man: So, we're offering you
467
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,791
a no-cost, 30-year refinance,
468
00:17:49,859 --> 00:17:51,492
and your last installment
469
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:57,026
will be due in November of 2032.
470
00:17:57,094 --> 00:17:58,693
Before you sign
this, look it over,
471
00:17:58,761 --> 00:18:00,461
see if you have any
more questions.
472
00:18:00,528 --> 00:18:01,927
I just need to say
hi to a camp friend
473
00:18:01,995 --> 00:18:03,461
who stopped by to visit.
474
00:18:08,396 --> 00:18:12,228
Thanks to you, Curt
totally avoided me today.
475
00:18:12,296 --> 00:18:14,063
He didn't even get
me my Starbucks
476
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,562
like he usually does.
477
00:18:16,564 --> 00:18:18,464
Deacon called me an a-hole.
478
00:18:21,765 --> 00:18:23,364
Question for you,
479
00:18:23,431 --> 00:18:25,464
do you think it's wrong that
we're about to sign a mortgage
480
00:18:25,531 --> 00:18:27,064
to live in a house
together for 30 years,
481
00:18:27,131 --> 00:18:28,130
and it just came out this week
482
00:18:28,198 --> 00:18:30,130
that we've nothing in common?
483
00:18:30,198 --> 00:18:31,998
We have stuff in common.
484
00:18:32,066 --> 00:18:32,998
Oh, yeah.
485
00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:34,266
We both prefer the
company of other people.
486
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:35,798
We nailed that.
487
00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:38,366
We have stuff in common.
488
00:18:38,433 --> 00:18:39,367
Right?
489
00:18:39,434 --> 00:18:40,367
I don't know.
490
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:41,433
What's all this stuff we have?
491
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:42,933
Well, OK, for one thing,
492
00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:44,967
we have a great sex life.
493
00:18:45,034 --> 00:18:46,633
OK, but what about when
the sex goes away?
494
00:18:46,702 --> 00:18:48,534
Maybe it won't go away.
Oh, please.
495
00:18:48,602 --> 00:18:49,368
Do you realize how brittle
496
00:18:49,436 --> 00:18:52,069
your bones will be in 30 years?
497
00:18:52,136 --> 00:18:53,802
I'll crush you to dust.
498
00:18:53,869 --> 00:18:55,635
What if we're just
499
00:18:55,703 --> 00:18:56,836
sitting across from each other
500
00:18:56,902 --> 00:18:58,403
30 years from now,
501
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,502
bored to tears,
502
00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:02,002
your father's, like, 105,
503
00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:03,404
and he's hooked up to some
machine in the kitchen,
504
00:19:03,471 --> 00:19:05,970
and I can't even get
at the waffle maker.
505
00:19:06,038 --> 00:19:06,803
That a pretty picture
for ya, huh?
506
00:19:06,871 --> 00:19:08,337
Doug, come on. This is stupid.
507
00:19:08,404 --> 00:19:10,038
We have a lot of
stuff in common,
508
00:19:10,106 --> 00:19:11,404
a lot.
509
00:19:11,472 --> 00:19:12,739
In fact, you know what?
510
00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:14,538
Why don't we each make a list
511
00:19:14,606 --> 00:19:15,939
of our 10 favorite things,
512
00:19:16,007 --> 00:19:18,472
and if we don't have
at least one match,
513
00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:20,706
we do not sign these
mortgage papers.
514
00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:22,540
Fine. OK.
515
00:19:25,809 --> 00:19:27,541
Actually, let's make it 20.
516
00:19:29,775 --> 00:19:31,241
Number 18.
517
00:19:31,309 --> 00:19:32,241
OK, we got 3 more shots
518
00:19:32,309 --> 00:19:33,242
at making a match here.
519
00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:34,775
What do you got?
520
00:19:34,843 --> 00:19:36,343
Sunsets. Sunsets?!
521
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,042
What? What do you have?
522
00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:39,210
New car smell.
523
00:19:39,276 --> 00:19:40,843
What?! I can't believe you!
524
00:19:40,910 --> 00:19:41,776
You see a freakin' sunset
525
00:19:41,843 --> 00:19:42,876
every day of your life!
526
00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:44,610
New car smell. Now
that's special!
527
00:19:44,678 --> 00:19:46,044
All right, all right.
Let's just calm down.
528
00:19:46,111 --> 00:19:48,377
We have 2 more left, all right?
529
00:19:48,444 --> 00:19:49,378
All right, number 19.
530
00:19:49,445 --> 00:19:51,044
What do you got?
531
00:19:51,112 --> 00:19:52,045
A good book.
532
00:19:55,446 --> 00:19:57,479
Do you wanna live
with me or not?!
533
00:19:57,547 --> 00:19:58,545
Yes, I wanna live with you.
534
00:19:58,613 --> 00:20:00,246
I love you, you idiot.
535
00:20:00,314 --> 00:20:01,513
Well, I love you, too!
536
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:02,280
Well, if you loved me,
537
00:20:02,347 --> 00:20:03,546
you'd wanna go salsa dancing
538
00:20:03,614 --> 00:20:04,713
once in a while.
539
00:20:04,781 --> 00:20:05,480
Well, if you loved me,
540
00:20:05,547 --> 00:20:07,181
you'd enjoy a nice
can of SpaghettiOs
541
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,381
from time to time.
542
00:20:08,448 --> 00:20:09,715
Well, if you loved me,
543
00:20:09,782 --> 00:20:11,381
you wouldn't have used 2 slots
544
00:20:11,449 --> 00:20:13,681
for SpaghettiOs and Beefaroni.
545
00:20:14,983 --> 00:20:15,914
They're different.
546
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:18,281
If you loved me,
you'd know that!
547
00:20:20,317 --> 00:20:22,449
OK, you folks ready to
sign that mortgage?
548
00:20:22,517 --> 00:20:24,349
Not unless our number 20s match.
549
00:20:24,417 --> 00:20:25,817
We got a whole thing going here.
550
00:20:25,884 --> 00:20:27,517
All right, what do
you got, sister?
551
00:20:31,019 --> 00:20:32,584
You know what?
552
00:20:32,652 --> 00:20:35,352
I bet you our number 20s match.
553
00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:38,319
What? That's right.
554
00:20:38,387 --> 00:20:40,853
And even if they don't,
555
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:42,018
it doesn't matter.
556
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,221
Man: Great.
557
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:49,953
Well, we'll get
this all processed,
558
00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:51,454
and we'll mail you
guys out a copy.
559
00:20:51,522 --> 00:20:52,453
OK, great.
560
00:20:52,521 --> 00:20:53,488
Well, thanks for your help.
561
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:54,621
Thank you very much. See ya.
562
00:20:54,689 --> 00:20:55,788
Bye. Bye.
563
00:21:00,256 --> 00:21:02,589
You really mean that?
It doesn't matter?
564
00:21:02,657 --> 00:21:06,756
Doug, you can't put
this on a list.
565
00:21:08,324 --> 00:21:09,391
Just for kicks,
566
00:21:09,459 --> 00:21:12,023
do you wanna say what
we had for number 20?
567
00:21:12,091 --> 00:21:13,891
OK.
568
00:21:13,958 --> 00:21:15,191
You first.
569
00:21:16,058 --> 00:21:17,292
Chamomile tea.
570
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,425
Porno. Let's go.
571
00:21:22,559 --> 00:21:25,693
So I'm out of the nail place
for, like, 5 minutes,
572
00:21:25,761 --> 00:21:28,160
and the nail polish on
my thumbnail peels off.
573
00:21:28,228 --> 00:21:29,727
So I go back, and I'm like,
574
00:21:29,795 --> 00:21:31,026
"Can you fix this please?"
575
00:21:31,095 --> 00:21:32,760
And Susie...
576
00:21:32,828 --> 00:21:35,561
♪ ...You are everything
577
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,561
♪ And everything is you
578
00:21:38,629 --> 00:21:42,362
♪ Oh, you are everything
579
00:21:42,430 --> 00:21:43,562
♪ And every...
580
00:21:43,630 --> 00:21:45,896
I love you.
581
00:21:45,963 --> 00:21:48,297
Aww.
582
00:21:48,365 --> 00:21:51,263
But the main problem with the
Socialist Party in the 1940s
583
00:21:51,331 --> 00:21:52,730
is that they didn't
tailor their message
584
00:21:52,798 --> 00:21:54,063
to the common working man.
585
00:21:54,131 --> 00:21:55,498
Everything was very...
586
00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:58,132
♪ ...You are everything
587
00:21:58,199 --> 00:22:01,399
♪ And everything is you
588
00:22:01,466 --> 00:22:05,133
♪ Oh, you are everything
589
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:05,765
♪ And...
39114
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