Original subtitles

Wait a minute.

Aren't we near the sea, or a big river?

– It's quiet. – It's daytime.

– Stupid! – Why?

– Never mind. – What?

What about tomorrow?

This is terrible. I don't like it here.

Aren't you coming?

Are you all right?

Hi!

I said I'd come to the station.

– I'm used to finding places. – Is that so?

– You look well. – So-so.

Seven years since we last met. Time passes quickly.

I envy you, you're already a landlord.

Yes, but I must change my job.

– What are you doing? – I can't move.

– This way. – Sorry to trouble you.

No trouble. But the new tenants are moving in the day after tomorrow.

OK. We'll leave tomorrow.

May I ask…

…have you done something wrong?

It doesn't matter.

– I'm being chased by a moneylender. – Is that it? That's a bore.

This is it.

Goushi Naito, Shige Muroi, Taro Suwa

Heart, Beating in the Dark

– Here's the bedding and tea things. – Thanks.

I'd like to stay and talk, but I have things to do.

Miss, if there's anything you need, please ask my wife.

It's cold. And rather dark.

It's only till tomorrow. You'll survive, as usual.

Ringo, I'm going to the store. Want anything?

No, but try to cook something nice for once.

You'll have to bear with me.

That…

What?

That poster…

What about it?

Makes me feel uncomfortable.

Just ignore it.

Throw it away.

No!

– Throw it away! – You're being hysterical.

It's rusty!

Ringo! Give me your underpants.

– I got you a new pair. – Forget it!

– You're dirty. – Shut up!

You're still angry?

Here you are, then.

– I'd like a bath. – You had one at the hotel.

I want to wash my hair. The air here is very dusty.

I was enjoying my youth. No problems.

Quite a few of my friends had already slept with girls, and were proud of it.

I used to skip classes and go to the Mimosa Coffee Shop near the school.

There was a waitress there, called Chieko.

I decided to sleep with Chieko.

She was older than me, and very temperamental.

I nearly gave up on her several times.

But each time I told myself to keep going…

…and waited for her outside the Mimosa.

“Right now, remember

“You can judge from her reactions what to do, when to do it…

“…and how to do it.”

I had to hide my own inexperience.

I'd be no good if she realised that she was teaching me.

Been waiting for long?

How long?

A couple of minutes.

You should have come inside.

It doesn't matter.

What shall we do now?

Let's go for a drink.

I'm sorry, but we can't “make it” tonight.

When I promised to meet you tonight, I'd forgotten what day it was.

And you bought me that perfume…

– What d'you mean, we can't? – It's late. You'd better go.

What's wrong?

You don't know about women. Never had a lover before?

I didn't give up, though.

I didn't want to lose her, as if it meant nothing.

I lay on my bed, listening to my father snoring.

I couldn't accept it meant nothing.

I had already decided to which hotel I was going to take her.

When we next met…

…I'd grab her by the arm and set off for it…

…without talking.

I though you weren't coming.

I didn't bring you anything this time.

And I'm not going to wait for you.

– Don't rush it. – I'll buy you another one.

When I finish school, I'm going to work at a petrol station in Chiba.

Why Chiba?

My elder brother's got me a job there.

So?

I'll come to see you on weekends, of course.

– From Chiba? – It's not that far.

– Only three hours to Yokosuka. – Really?

I promise I'll come to see you.

I told you, I don't like the smell of cigarettes.

I'll put it out.

I want to go somewhere, too.

– Where? – Nowhere special.

Let me see your face.

Don't go around saying I'm your girlfriend.

She meant what she said.

As soon as I got to Chiba, my friends told me she had a new boyfriend.

But I already expected that from her.

In fact, I liked her because of that.

I phoned her.

She said “We'll never meet again.”

But on the first weekend after I started the job…

…I visited her in her flat.

I have another day off tomorrow. That's why I dropped by.

– Shall we go for a drink? – No, I don't want to.

Don't you?

No.

I forgot Chieko, just like my workmates forgot their girls.

I slept with other girls.

It stopped being an effort.

Then I met Inako.

I work at a school for handicapped children.

The kids there are either mentally or physically handicapped.

The degree of handicap is sometimes quite severe.

I can understand that…

…since I work there and I see them every day.

But what I cannot understand…

…is what the children have experienced…

…or their parents, for that matter.

When you're confronted with sickness and handicap every day…

…it's easy to establish the causes…

…by going into the children's personal histories.

But you can't understand the emotional dimension of the problems…

…by simply grasping the facts behind each particular case.

Sometimes I feel like giving up altogether, or throwing away the files.

The past is no help in dealing with the problems of the handicapped.

Of course, all families experience problems like old age…

…sickness and death.

Each family has to come to terms with the sense of loss…

…that such traumas generate.

But we don't really understand the process…

…by which they manage it.

But there are always some problems that cannot be dealt with.

Some families never manage to come to terms…

…with illness, handicapped children or aging.

The talk nowadays…

…is of how handicapped children can be turned…

…into independent members of society.

But all of us, handicapped or not…

…feel helpless in the face of the process of living.

from birth to marriage…

…to getting older…

…falling ill and dying.

I think it's inevitable that we feel this way.

It's a natural process.

No one is to blame for it.

But for kids who can't handle things very well physically…

…it's even more difficult…

…to deal with such things.

Shall I?

It's hard for us.

You say that, but…

Are we going to be all right?

We're in a bad way.

Inako, you…

How old were you when you first…?

The first time?

Yes.

Sixteen.

Shit! What kind of guy was he?

He was my tutor, a university student.

He coached me in maths and physics.

You studied maths?

He kept his socks on.

Naked except for his socks.

When I saw that, it made me feel sad.

But somehow, we got on well.

We talked about what kind of knife would be best to commit murder.

Is that how he seduced you?

Your cock bends to the left.

Has it always been like that?

I never noticed before.

I was good in the beginning.

I was good.

No more hot water!

Use tap water.

It's cold!

Pass me the towel.

How many men after him?

– Average. – What's “average”?

The first one died. He killed himself.

Good for him!

Which of us was better? Him or me?

Men always want to know that.

– Does it matter. – I don't know.

The one that died…

…is very clear in my mind.

I felt very close to him.

Aren't you hungry, Inako?

Shall we go to sleep?

I'm not tired yet.

Shall we put on the radio?

No.

Inako…

Are you all right, Ringo?

– Something wrong with that bread. – Want to see a doctor?

I'm OK. Get back to sleep.

You feel sick?

I have diarrhea.

Yoshiko

Go to sleep.

I'll be watching.

You'll be exhausted tomorrow.

I'm used to it.

It's raining.

So it is.

– Any whisky left? – You shouldn't drink any more.

I'm OK. I've thrown up the bad food.

Yoshiko must be cold.

I wonder if this rain will uncover her.

She must have suffered. I feel sorry for her.

Forget it.

You're stupid!

What else can we do?

Why are we wandering around, borrowing money everwhere?

We'll be in misery until Yoshiko forgives us.

You think so? We've no money left.

How can you be so cold?

You were the one who burned Yoshiko with cigarettes.

You beat her until you broke her bones.

It was you. You killed her!

You threw her across the room.

How could I do that?

Why did you kill Yoshiko? Give her back to me!

You killed her!

Inako worked in a noodle shop.

Not just as a waitress.

She also made deliveries on a motorbike.

She met a lot of people.

In June, at the beginning of summer…

…she came to the petrol station, as usual.

What was not usual was that she went to the loo and bought a can of Coke.

I wasn't busy, so I watched her.

Our eyes met as she was drinking the Coke, and she winked at me.

I thought “No other woman would wink like that while drinking Coke.”

She came over and said:

“Why are you staring at me?”

I looked at her, surprised.

I liked her black hair.

It was blowing in the wind, it looked alive.

She got angry with me staring at her and her eyes suddenly shone.

I was even more surprised.

I found myself loving every little thing she did.

She handed over the Coke and said “Finish it for me.”

I took it, and she took off on her bike.

I was impressed by her voice, It didn't give away what she was thinking.

It was like the light or the wind.

Later on, I felt there was sadness in her voice.

I'd slept with several women since I broke up with Chieko.

Some were just one-night stands, others came to clean my room.

But Inako was different.

Perhaps some women are more beautiful…

…have better figures, or sweeter temperaments and nice smiles.

But she's the only woman who doesn't flatter me.

She never shows off. She's completely natural.

Later, I thanked her for the Coke…

…and asked her to meet me one night in Chiba.

While I was waiting, I realised I couldn't remember her face.

I had some very strong impressions of her…

…but I couldn't remember her face.

It's the same now.

I don't look at her, I just feel her.

That night, when a woman stood near me, I got excited wondering if it was her.

I can laugh about it now. I was behaving like a schoolchild.

When she arrived, I knew immediately that it was her.

Forgetting her face was like a dream.

We got a drink at the bar and talked a lot.

She looked different at night.

She wore more make-up and smoked a lot.

As she drank, I noticed other expressions on her face.

She looked tired and sad.

For the first time, I talked to someone about my ambitions.

I didn't boast to her, as I had to other women.

Inako had just broken up with a guy.

I kept asking her about it, and and she told me reluctantly.

She'd lived with this guy, who worked for a bank in Tsudanama.

She'd fallen in love with him.

But he got fed up with her.

He didn't want a stable relationship.

He wanted something more exciting.

She wanted to get married.

In the end, they broke up amiably.

When I asked her to go out with me, she asked me to wait a while.

She wasn't ready to meet someone just yet.

I could have made love to her that night, exploiting her loneliness.

But I didn't want it to be a one-night stand.

It was different from just seducing someone.

I went out with here every week for two months.

During that time, I didn't touch her.

I didn't go out with other women either.

I was like a saint!

In the summer, we stayed in a lakeside hotel in Tanzawa.

In the autumn, I left my room and moved into a flat with her in Chiba.

In the winter, Inako got pregnant.

I wanted her to have an abortion, but she insisted on having the child.

Once I got used to the idea of settling down…

…I began to feel happy.

We went back to the hotel where we'd first slept together.

We were like an old couple trying to recapture their youth.

In spite of that, I slept with another woman.

A student who had a part-time job as a bar hostess.

The baby was born in October.

Inako named her Yoshiko. Of course, it was a girl.

A month later…

I couldn't stand the baby crying.

I started hitting her and burning her with cigarettes.

Inako tried to protect her…

…but her efforts only stimulated me.

I hit Yoshiko harder and broke her arm.

Sometimes I stayed in the student's place for the night.

I didn't go home.

I started betting on horses.

Inako noticed that I had another girlfriend, but she said nothing.

Then Inako started burning the baby with cigarettes.

Sometimes, she didn't give her any milk.

I was coming back late most nights.

One very cold night, about a month ago…

…I got back late and found Inako standing motionless, holding Yoshiko.

She threw Yoshiko against her cot.

Yoshiko hit her head on the corner of the cot and stopped moving.

I strangled her.

I wrapped her up in a nylon bag, and buried her on the bank of the Edo river.

Inako watched the whole thing…

…with a tired, miserable expression.

Ringo and Inako's past

It's great being here!

– How was it? – Great!

I can hear the sound of water.

I didn't realise there was a lake there.

Want to come back here next summer?

A whole year… I wonder how many minutes that is.

Just a moment.

525,600 minutes.

A woman had been living with a man since her student days.

Then she decided to marry another man.

When she went on the honeymoon…

…she left a dead baby at the air terminal.

This was real-life crime.

Then the press traced her old classmates…

…and published interviews with them.

The general opinion that came out of the interviews was:

why didn't she do it more skillfully?

This was just one news item, one particular case.

A case of folly.

Perhaps it wasn't a very significant crime.

But I think it can open some very interesting questions.

If I'd been her…

…I would have tried not to have the baby in the first place.

Or if I'd had it…

…I would have tried to get rid of it more skillfully…

…as her classmates said.

But for some reason…

…the girl kept the baby in a cupboard until the last minute.

Only then did she take it to the air terminal.

And the man she was living with helped her do it.

Perhaps it wasn't a simple case of infanticide.

They just couldn't live together…

…and accept the baby as their child.

I don't know if they planned it deliberately…

…or if it happened spontaneously.

But maybe this couple were living out an illusion…

…in which there was no room for the baby.

Maybe they were travelling through an illusion.

If the baby hadn't been found…

…she would have gone on her honeymoon, come back…

…and then started her married life.

But as I said before…

…she would still have been travelling through an illusion.

There have been other crimes, like the ones committed by “Jesus' Ark.”

Or the boy who killed his family with a metal baseball bat.

And more recently a similar case, also with a baseball bat.

On the surface…

…all these incidents involved killing members of the family.

I feel weak.

– Can you hear it? – Hear what?

Jazz.

Shall we go out on the lake?

It's not there any more.

It dried up.

They're building a housing estate.

Thank you very much.

Shall I take another?

You should look more relaxed.

– It's OK. – Are you sure?

Take you hat off at least.

– You must send us the prints. – Yes, I'll have them developed.

Let's take one of you and me together.

Look, this is the shutter.

Check through the viewfinder and press this. It's easy!

– That was too quick! – Yes, you messed it up.

Another one!

Camera: Kiichi Muto Assistant Director: Atsuhiko Suwa

Narrated by: Tetsuji Onda

Assistant Cameramen: Kinya Kawasaki, Tatsuya Kunimatsu

Produced with the help of Sodai Sineken, Cinema Hauto

Written and directed by Shunichi Nagasaki