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So anyway, when Leo got the call
from Doctors Without Borders
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00:00:06,446 --> 00:00:07,870
he didn't wanna go
but I insisted
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00:00:07,870 --> 00:00:09,956
And if that makes me
a hero, so be it
4
00:00:10,479 --> 00:00:12,569
You're the hero in
a lotta your stories
5
00:00:14,054 --> 00:00:15,041
Thank you
6
00:00:18,371 --> 00:00:20,168
So, now he's in Africa--
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00:00:20,168 --> 00:00:21,728
Oh, you're gonna love this
8
00:00:21,728 --> 00:00:23,174
He was responsible--
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--And it made him
insane with malaria
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00:00:38,321 --> 00:00:40,604
But if I could just get
serious for a moment
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00:00:40,604 --> 00:00:41,695
I really feel like things--
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00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:51,481
Five, four, three, two...
13
00:00:51,481 --> 00:00:53,557
Oh, Will, there you are
I'm sorry I'm late
14
00:00:54,294 --> 00:00:55,676
The cast of Urinetown is after me
15
00:00:55,676 --> 00:00:56,898
Simple misunderstanding
16
00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:58,897
How's my hair?
17
00:00:58,897 --> 00:01:01,291
I told them I wanted it
to look "second-day-dirty."
18
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,419
Delicious, your ears
have never looked better
19
00:01:04,729 --> 00:01:07,052
- Why my ears?
- Learn to take a compliment
20
00:01:08,657 --> 00:01:12,180
Here's the bill for
"Red McChatty" back there
21
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Get the next one shampooed
22
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I'm gonna go out back and smoke
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00:01:15,504 --> 00:01:17,448
whatever's in the bottom of my pocket
24
00:01:18,282 --> 00:01:21,876
Actually, your next one
Barry, isn't here yet
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But we'll be making
his decisions for him
26
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Yeah, he's 35
He just came out of the closet
27
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We've been working with
him for the last few weeks
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to get him ready for
the HRC Gala tonight
29
00:01:28,398 --> 00:01:28,997
I hear what you're saying:
30
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"Tonight, are you mad?
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00:01:30,011 --> 00:01:31,238
He should've had
his hair cut a week ago
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00:01:31,238 --> 00:01:33,356
it would have time to
set, that's Hair 101."
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Yeah, but we had a dilemma
34
00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:37,970
You see, his body was
in worse shape than his hair
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00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:39,999
so we had to send him to a fat farm
36
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,603
He thought he was going to a spa
Isn't that great?
37
00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:47,412
Why is everyone talking to me today?
38
00:01:49,451 --> 00:01:52,143
Um... Anyway, this is how
we want his hair cut, okay?
39
00:01:52,611 --> 00:01:54,588
Chunky, but not too chunky
40
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PC, but not too PC
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And gay, but not too gay
42
00:01:57,524 --> 00:01:59,272
Yeah, we want him to
be cruised in Chelsea
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but not beat up in Brooklyn
44
00:02:03,247 --> 00:02:05,162
Oh, crap, here she comes!
45
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:08,016
Hey
So, how's my hair look?
46
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Delicious
47
00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:11,568
Your ears have never looked better
48
00:02:11,568 --> 00:02:12,906
Thank you
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00:02:15,133 --> 00:02:16,835
And you two look great
50
00:02:16,835 --> 00:02:19,825
And I'm not saying that just because
I feel so good about myself right now
51
00:02:21,146 --> 00:02:23,033
Well, you know, it's a big night
52
00:02:23,387 --> 00:02:25,237
Every a-list gay will be there
53
00:02:25,237 --> 00:02:27,935
You know, the creme de la creme
of the creme de la femme
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00:02:31,188 --> 00:02:35,720
And I am not leaving that benefit until
I get serious with at least five guys
55
00:02:36,051 --> 00:02:37,089
Hey...
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00:02:37,089 --> 00:02:40,219
Hey, the Human Rights Campaign
is not some silly dating service
57
00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:43,365
It's an essential advocacy group
for gay and lesbian issues
58
00:02:44,587 --> 00:02:47,069
How did that sound?
Too smart to land a hot dumb guy?
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00:02:48,648 --> 00:02:49,667
Careful with those tips
60
00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:52,875
I want them nice and pointy in case
I have to stab someone in the neck
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00:02:53,602 --> 00:02:56,104
My, my, my, my, my
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00:02:56,462 --> 00:02:59,899
If it isn't my dear friend
Karen Walker
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00:02:59,899 --> 00:03:02,196
So nice to see you
64
00:03:03,670 --> 00:03:05,341
Why, Beverley Leslie
65
00:03:05,341 --> 00:03:08,179
if you'd sit on a phone book
it'd be nice to see you too
66
00:03:12,683 --> 00:03:15,981
Oh, honey, I haven't had a chance
to tell you how sorry
67
00:03:15,981 --> 00:03:18,321
it was to hear about
your poor wife, Crystal
68
00:03:18,321 --> 00:03:19,580
Is she any better?
69
00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:22,777
Well, it was a dicey
experimental surgery
70
00:03:22,777 --> 00:03:25,672
But those Dominican doctors said
if she wanted to look 70 again
71
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,593
she'd just have to try it
72
00:03:29,372 --> 00:03:30,923
And yet, she lived through it
73
00:03:30,923 --> 00:03:32,583
You must have been devastated
74
00:03:34,207 --> 00:03:35,882
Oh, I'll survive
75
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,076
But poor you...
76
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,071
Your husband, Stanley Walker
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00:03:39,071 --> 00:03:40,885
dumps you for a younger hootchie mama
78
00:03:40,885 --> 00:03:43,233
who serves soft potatoes
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00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:47,589
He went from smashed to mashed
80
00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:51,308
I have to laugh to keep from crying
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00:03:52,819 --> 00:03:53,753
Ow!
82
00:03:57,259 --> 00:03:58,818
Will, Jack
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00:03:58,818 --> 00:04:00,285
this whole day has been a disaster
84
00:04:00,285 --> 00:04:02,419
D. I. Saster
85
00:04:03,394 --> 00:04:06,787
The plane from the S & M camp
you call a spa took off a half-hour late
86
00:04:06,787 --> 00:04:07,745
So what do I do?
87
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,144
I eat a muffin
88
00:04:11,161 --> 00:04:13,850
Sure, I spit most of it into a trash can
like they taught me, but
89
00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:15,839
I accidentally swallowed a few crumbs
90
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:16,845
and god help me...
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00:04:17,232 --> 00:04:18,246
maybe a nut
92
00:04:19,265 --> 00:04:20,440
Now I'm late
93
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,323
Oh! I look awful!
94
00:04:22,323 --> 00:04:23,621
My hair is never gonna look good
95
00:04:23,621 --> 00:04:25,787
It's stringy and ugly, and I'm fat!
96
00:04:28,747 --> 00:04:30,416
Yikes, that was a little much
97
00:04:30,749 --> 00:04:32,214
What a drama queen
98
00:04:33,487 --> 00:04:35,748
- Our little boy's growing up
- I'm so proud
99
00:04:36,602 --> 00:04:39,344
�� & ���̽�
5���� ���Ǽҵ� 16
(Women And Children First)
100
00:04:39,344 --> 00:04:42,683
���� : ������(littletwit@nate.com)
���� ���� : �Ȼ��(booman@nate.com)
101
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:45,526
�̷̹�(hamsuter@nate.com)
��Ʈ :
102
00:04:45,526 --> 00:04:47,742
�ڸ����� - ����Ʈ ��� 24 �ڸ���
(http://club.nate.com/24)
Will & Grace �ڸ���
103
00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:51,611
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104
00:04:56,142 --> 00:05:00,578
Barry, it's okay you didn't like
Broken Hearts Club or Kiss Me, Guido
105
00:05:01,108 --> 00:05:02,320
Let me tell you a little secret
106
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,909
that we try to keep within the community
107
00:05:03,909 --> 00:05:05,506
Gay movies suck
108
00:05:07,189 --> 00:05:08,435
But, until the laws change
109
00:05:08,435 --> 00:05:10,443
we're still obligated to go see 'em
110
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- Will?
- In here!
111
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,482
Look, don't sweat it
Call me anytime
112
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,657
I'll see you tonight
113
00:05:16,657 --> 00:05:18,298
Okay, huge news...huge!
114
00:05:18,545 --> 00:05:21,750
Barry has decided to shave his beard
115
00:05:23,597 --> 00:05:24,575
That's it?
116
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:25,723
Are you kidding?
117
00:05:25,723 --> 00:05:28,471
His beard is his last connection
to his closeted life
118
00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,529
Well, unless he's gonna
shave it off with his feet
119
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:32,494
I still don't see the bigness
120
00:05:33,602 --> 00:05:35,672
Trust me, this is a huge event in his life
121
00:05:35,672 --> 00:05:37,992
And it should be marked
in some meaningful way
122
00:05:38,242 --> 00:05:41,139
Damn, I wish there was time
to bake peanut butter cookies
123
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,168
Can we change the subject
to something important?
124
00:05:46,878 --> 00:05:48,663
What am I wearing to this party tonight?
125
00:05:48,929 --> 00:05:50,365
Okay, dressing for these things
126
00:05:50,365 --> 00:05:51,838
it's always a fine line
127
00:05:51,838 --> 00:05:54,743
How do I turn on the gay guys
without arousing the lesbians?
128
00:05:57,137 --> 00:05:58,625
Heh
129
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:00,612
Barry's got a new tux
130
00:06:00,612 --> 00:06:02,270
He didn't want me to see it until tonight...
131
00:06:02,270 --> 00:06:03,751
Wanted to surprise me
132
00:06:03,751 --> 00:06:04,942
Isn't that adorable?
133
00:06:04,942 --> 00:06:06,591
Yeah, cute as a box of babies
134
00:06:08,112 --> 00:06:09,959
Okay, this one's slitty
135
00:06:10,197 --> 00:06:11,281
This one's slutty
136
00:06:11,731 --> 00:06:12,821
This one's titty
137
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,091
This one's butty
138
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,494
Okay, here's some
accessories and lingerie
139
00:06:19,494 --> 00:06:20,894
Mix and match, enjoy
140
00:06:23,701 --> 00:06:24,626
Oh...
141
00:06:27,456 --> 00:06:28,235
What?
142
00:06:28,591 --> 00:06:29,876
This is gonna kill you
143
00:06:29,876 --> 00:06:30,866
I doubt it
144
00:06:33,082 --> 00:06:35,323
Barry went to Barney's to
pick out his first gym bag
145
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,392
Can you imagine
what that was like?
146
00:06:38,027 --> 00:06:40,077
I can...
147
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:41,829
And it's not very interesting
148
00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:46,967
Man, the way you're
going on about him
149
00:06:46,967 --> 00:06:48,199
it's like you--
150
00:06:51,935 --> 00:06:53,293
You like him
151
00:06:53,293 --> 00:06:54,585
What?! Barry?
152
00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:56,132
Come on, Barry's not my type
153
00:06:56,132 --> 00:06:57,412
Don't give me that
154
00:06:57,412 --> 00:06:58,821
I know all the signs
155
00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:00,691
You talk about him constantly
156
00:07:00,691 --> 00:07:02,220
You wanna bake cookies for him
157
00:07:02,676 --> 00:07:04,770
Your face lights up with a huge grin
158
00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:06,513
every time his name is mentioned
159
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,398
- No, it doesn't
- Barry
160
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,066
Oh, for crying out loud
this is ridiculous
161
00:07:19,066 --> 00:07:21,308
I just walked up a flight of stairs
162
00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:23,776
What, did they put this here
163
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,298
just so that the queens
could make an entrance?
164
00:07:28,537 --> 00:07:29,426
No...!
165
00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:30,463
And don't talk like that
166
00:07:30,463 --> 00:07:31,563
This organization is dedicated to
167
00:07:31,563 --> 00:07:33,640
breaking down those kind of stereotypes
168
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:35,140
Hello, girls!
169
00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:40,911
Dolly's back in town
170
00:07:42,931 --> 00:07:44,356
I'm a-go working....
171
00:07:47,727 --> 00:07:49,757
Somewhere, Rip Taylor is saying
172
00:07:49,757 --> 00:07:51,571
"Now, that's faggy."
173
00:07:55,713 --> 00:07:56,797
So whatcha doin'?
174
00:07:57,531 --> 00:07:59,647
- Waitin' for your date?
- Barry is not my date
175
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,192
Yet, you admit you love him
176
00:08:01,739 --> 00:08:03,515
If I care for him
it is only in the way
177
00:08:03,515 --> 00:08:05,858
that a mentor cares for his student
178
00:08:05,858 --> 00:08:07,391
You know, the way--
the way, in My Fair Lady
179
00:08:07,391 --> 00:08:09,668
Henry Higgins cared for Eliza Doolittle
180
00:08:09,987 --> 00:08:11,707
Henry Higgins loved Eliza
181
00:08:11,707 --> 00:08:13,808
He grew accustomed to her face
182
00:08:14,121 --> 00:08:15,068
That's love
183
00:08:15,068 --> 00:08:16,693
Oh, please, if there was
any love in that story
184
00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:18,361
it was between Higgins and Pickering
185
00:08:19,938 --> 00:08:20,898
You're nuts
186
00:08:21,298 --> 00:08:23,296
Two confirmed bachelors
in their late fifties
187
00:08:23,296 --> 00:08:24,605
whose idea of a
good time is dressing
188
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,516
Audrey Hepburn in
fabulous Edith Head outfits?
189
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:30,787
Oh, they were gay, my friend
190
00:08:30,787 --> 00:08:32,451
They were gay
191
00:08:34,887 --> 00:08:36,404
Ladies, gentlemen
192
00:08:36,404 --> 00:08:37,859
and undecided...
193
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,426
I'd like you to meet someone
194
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:45,338
He's been plucked, coiffed
195
00:08:45,338 --> 00:08:46,680
buffed, and fluffed
196
00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,471
May I present to you...
197
00:08:48,706 --> 00:08:50,075
My cousin Barry!
198
00:08:54,860 --> 00:08:56,899
Wow, he's hot!
199
00:08:57,803 --> 00:08:59,260
The final test, Grace
finds him attractive
200
00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:00,577
He's gay, all right
201
00:09:11,099 --> 00:09:12,963
Where's Will?
I haven't seen him all night
202
00:09:12,963 --> 00:09:13,974
Oh, you know...
203
00:09:13,974 --> 00:09:16,110
Will likes to do his own
thing at these events
204
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,355
He's probably sucking
down ten crab cakes
205
00:09:18,355 --> 00:09:20,808
before he makes a desperate
move on some ugly waiter
206
00:09:23,176 --> 00:09:24,421
Hi. I'm Byron--
207
00:09:24,421 --> 00:09:26,078
Ah, sorry!
208
00:09:26,078 --> 00:09:27,151
He's not interested
209
00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:30,684
Move along
Buh-bye, Byron
210
00:09:30,684 --> 00:09:32,676
Buh-bye. Buh-bye
211
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,903
Why did you do that?
He seemed great
212
00:09:39,231 --> 00:09:41,307
You just rejected one
of the hottest guys here
213
00:09:41,307 --> 00:09:42,433
Everyone will be talking about it
214
00:09:42,433 --> 00:09:43,458
Look around
215
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,125
Your mystique level just went up
like, 158 points
216
00:09:47,766 --> 00:09:51,048
Wow, 42 more
I can upgrade to business gay
217
00:09:52,245 --> 00:09:53,186
Heh-heh
218
00:09:55,281 --> 00:09:56,180
Funny
219
00:09:56,497 --> 00:09:59,180
But when you say something
witty at a party
220
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:01,176
you should always appear bored
221
00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:03,940
take a sip of your drink
and look away
222
00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:07,492
That way, it'll seem like
it happens all the time
223
00:10:07,492 --> 00:10:08,262
Okay?
224
00:10:08,262 --> 00:10:09,345
Par example:
225
00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:12,759
Though two rights might make a wrong
226
00:10:13,048 --> 00:10:15,715
a rolling butt gathers no moss
227
00:10:23,141 --> 00:10:23,925
I see...
228
00:10:23,925 --> 00:10:25,734
But that wasn't really a joke, was it?
229
00:10:25,734 --> 00:10:28,217
It was pretty much just a
random selection of words
230
00:10:28,977 --> 00:10:31,367
Exactly...
My four-fingered friend
231
00:10:34,909 --> 00:10:36,056
Hey, some party, huh?
232
00:10:36,056 --> 00:10:37,828
I just saw two guys
meet, marry, split up
233
00:10:37,828 --> 00:10:40,766
and then get back together again
for the sake of the Eames furniture
234
00:10:42,881 --> 00:10:43,351
It's amazing
235
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,705
I've never seen so many
good-looking guys in one room
236
00:10:45,705 --> 00:10:48,872
Hey! You can include
yourself in that, mister
237
00:10:49,854 --> 00:10:51,395
Doesn't he look good, Will?
238
00:10:51,395 --> 00:10:52,986
Yeah, he--he looks great
239
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:53,775
Yeah
240
00:10:54,034 --> 00:10:55,268
Check out his pecs
241
00:10:55,573 --> 00:10:57,511
It's like he's got a
granite bra on
242
00:10:58,983 --> 00:11:00,386
Come on, feel 'em
243
00:11:01,522 --> 00:11:03,098
Come on, Will, objectify me
244
00:11:03,098 --> 00:11:07,155
No... I-I-I got crab
cake on my fingers
245
00:11:07,627 --> 00:11:09,350
I-I need to get a-a-a...
246
00:11:09,732 --> 00:11:12,305
crab cake...
removal... system
247
00:11:12,598 --> 00:11:13,457
Oy
248
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,771
There's some cute guys here, huh?
249
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,503
Too bad they're all 'mos
250
00:11:21,503 --> 00:11:22,538
Ha ha ha...
251
00:11:23,654 --> 00:11:26,026
It doesn't really matter to me
I'm a lesbian
252
00:11:26,026 --> 00:11:26,860
Oh...
253
00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:31,579
Honey, we're all lesbians when
the right guy isn't around, huh?
254
00:11:41,428 --> 00:11:43,507
Now, I wanna buy a little
somethin' for my Jackie
255
00:11:43,507 --> 00:11:45,316
Somethin' shiny...
but non-toxic
256
00:11:45,316 --> 00:11:47,696
'cause you know it's just
gonna end up in his mouth
257
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,366
You don't buy things
258
00:11:50,366 --> 00:11:51,822
It's a silent auction
259
00:11:51,822 --> 00:11:52,582
You write down your bid
260
00:11:52,582 --> 00:11:54,180
We'll announce the winners
at the end of the night
261
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:57,609
and the money goes to help enact
hate-crime laws and battle prejudice
262
00:12:02,244 --> 00:12:04,591
Oh... And they say
lesbians aren't funny
263
00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:08,302
Here's an exciting item, uh...
264
00:12:08,904 --> 00:12:10,559
a gourmet chef comes
to your house
265
00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:12,696
and prepares a
romantic dinner for two
266
00:12:13,752 --> 00:12:16,370
Yeah, I hear ya loud
and clear, coach
267
00:12:19,744 --> 00:12:22,339
But, uh, I just got out
of a relationship
268
00:12:22,339 --> 00:12:24,635
and I think it's a little early, okay?
269
00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:27,127
But I think Jackie might like it
Yeah
270
00:12:27,127 --> 00:12:28,081
Mm-hmm
271
00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:29,749
Not so fast
272
00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:32,702
I want that dinner too
273
00:12:33,803 --> 00:12:36,741
Well, what are you doing here
you frosted mini-wheat?
274
00:12:39,364 --> 00:12:41,107
Now, you know
the plight of the homosexual
275
00:12:41,107 --> 00:12:43,883
is a cause dear to
my wife Crystal's heart
276
00:12:43,883 --> 00:12:45,738
So I plan on taking her
money and purchasing
277
00:12:45,738 --> 00:12:49,992
that dinner for me and my
business associate, Benji
278
00:12:55,073 --> 00:12:56,834
Oh, I love gay events
279
00:12:57,088 --> 00:12:59,154
Just got my eyebrows
waxed in the men's room
280
00:13:00,557 --> 00:13:01,908
Meanwhile, in the ladies room
281
00:13:01,908 --> 00:13:03,956
I learned how to rewire a lamp
282
00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:09,563
- What's with the puss?
- How could you do this to me?
283
00:13:09,563 --> 00:13:11,401
Why would you tell me that I like Barry?
284
00:13:11,401 --> 00:13:13,405
- Because you do like him
- That's not the point
285
00:13:13,405 --> 00:13:15,514
I was perfectly happy
not knowing how I felt
286
00:13:15,772 --> 00:13:18,213
Now I feel all--all raw
and self-conscious
287
00:13:18,213 --> 00:13:20,870
like--like a stewardess without makeup
288
00:13:21,648 --> 00:13:23,572
- Thanks a lot, Grace
- Stop it
289
00:13:23,572 --> 00:13:24,980
You always do this
290
00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,914
Instead of allowing yourself to feel--
291
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:30,192
Oh, I don't know, excited
or happy or vulnerable
292
00:13:30,514 --> 00:13:32,188
- you just go straight to anger
- No, I don't
293
00:13:32,188 --> 00:13:32,859
Oh, really?
294
00:13:32,859 --> 00:13:34,562
How do you feel about
the ending of Titanic?
295
00:13:34,562 --> 00:13:36,081
Oh, that was just stupid!
296
00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:37,093
Of course they hit an iceberg!
297
00:13:37,093 --> 00:13:39,580
Two guys in the crow's nest
a ship that big?!
298
00:13:44,984 --> 00:13:46,657
Come on, Will, it's okay
299
00:13:46,870 --> 00:13:48,033
You can like him
300
00:13:49,113 --> 00:13:50,673
I do
301
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,886
I like him so much
302
00:13:52,886 --> 00:13:54,006
Look at him
303
00:14:01,286 --> 00:14:03,046
- Ask him out
- Nah, nah, I don't know...
304
00:14:03,046 --> 00:14:04,281
Okay, you listen to me
305
00:14:05,154 --> 00:14:07,265
You are a gorgeous man
306
00:14:07,661 --> 00:14:11,619
who is smart, sexy, and kind
307
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,493
Wow...
308
00:14:13,904 --> 00:14:16,418
How many deviled
eggs did you have?
309
00:14:24,117 --> 00:14:25,533
Okay, just go up to him
and talk to him
310
00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,147
and say what you feel
311
00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:28,725
He'd be so lucky to have you
312
00:14:28,725 --> 00:14:29,749
I will. I will
313
00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:31,529
I-I-I gotta go to the men's room
314
00:14:31,529 --> 00:14:33,317
My eyebrows are too bushy
315
00:14:36,431 --> 00:14:37,578
Thanks, sweetie
316
00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:40,009
Yeah, that's okay
317
00:14:57,478 --> 00:14:58,541
That dinner is mine
318
00:14:58,541 --> 00:15:01,023
you sad, pickled woman!
319
00:15:02,242 --> 00:15:03,832
It's mine, Baby Gap!
320
00:15:06,324 --> 00:15:08,975
All right!
Top that...
321
00:15:09,552 --> 00:15:10,885
Mrs. Walker
322
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:14,650
I can't
323
00:15:15,756 --> 00:15:16,932
Since Stan left me
324
00:15:16,932 --> 00:15:18,846
I can't throw around money
with the same ease
325
00:15:18,846 --> 00:15:20,640
that I can throw around you
326
00:15:23,431 --> 00:15:25,029
I'm out, you happy now?
327
00:15:25,029 --> 00:15:26,757
Oh! What kind of human
being would I be
328
00:15:26,757 --> 00:15:30,018
if I couldn't ring joy from
a dear friend's misery?
329
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:32,908
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
330
00:15:35,744 --> 00:15:38,023
Well...enjoy your dinner
331
00:15:38,288 --> 00:15:39,520
You're short
332
00:15:45,484 --> 00:15:46,977
Will
333
00:15:46,977 --> 00:15:48,542
Will, look at our boy
334
00:15:48,542 --> 00:15:49,823
Isn't he doing great?
335
00:15:50,438 --> 00:15:51,702
I'm so proud of us
336
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:54,122
We should win an award
337
00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:57,144
I don't think they give out awards
for helping people be gay
338
00:15:57,144 --> 00:15:59,738
Well... unless you
count the Tonys
339
00:16:05,895 --> 00:16:07,195
Look, I gotta go to the little boys room
340
00:16:07,195 --> 00:16:08,658
My hose is riding up
341
00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:11,417
You're wearing pantyhose?
342
00:16:11,417 --> 00:16:12,030
No
343
00:16:17,149 --> 00:16:18,818
Come on
You go--
344
00:16:18,818 --> 00:16:20,039
Go keep an eye on Barry
345
00:16:20,039 --> 00:16:22,926
He doesn't understand how predatory
some of these guys can be
346
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:24,628
Ooh, excuse me
347
00:16:24,628 --> 00:16:25,756
I see a defenseless queerling
348
00:16:25,756 --> 00:16:27,810
who's wandered away
from the flock
349
00:16:39,159 --> 00:16:40,518
Why haven't you talked to him yet?
350
00:16:41,671 --> 00:16:43,372
I'm intimidated, okay?
351
00:16:43,814 --> 00:16:44,693
It's like I've--
352
00:16:44,693 --> 00:16:46,893
I've created a guy that's too
hot for me to date
353
00:16:47,294 --> 00:16:50,108
It's the same reason Dr. Frankenstein
didn't date his monster
354
00:16:52,744 --> 00:16:53,723
What?
355
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,457
Dr. Frankenstein wasn't a homo
356
00:16:58,700 --> 00:16:59,543
Oh, really?
357
00:17:00,195 --> 00:17:03,232
He sewed together a bunch of guys
to create the perfect man?
358
00:17:05,953 --> 00:17:07,366
Wrapped him in linen
359
00:17:08,708 --> 00:17:11,092
Give him a flat head
so you can set a drink on it
360
00:17:14,688 --> 00:17:16,751
Dr. Frank was a 'mo, my friend
361
00:17:17,963 --> 00:17:19,501
He was a 'mo
362
00:17:22,596 --> 00:17:24,322
- Go
- No
363
00:17:24,322 --> 00:17:25,454
Oh!
364
00:17:27,192 --> 00:17:28,724
Oh, hey
365
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,301
Barry, I-I...
366
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,849
Will, you've gotta help keep me
away from that auction table
367
00:17:33,849 --> 00:17:35,896
I'm bidding on things
I don't even want
368
00:17:35,896 --> 00:17:36,411
I know
369
00:17:36,411 --> 00:17:40,172
I'm up to $300 on lunch and
a steam with Jerry Orbach
370
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:43,332
Hey
371
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,477
Wow, that guy's been
checking me out all night
372
00:17:47,477 --> 00:17:48,750
He's not right for you!
373
00:17:50,581 --> 00:17:51,426
Why?
374
00:17:51,426 --> 00:17:53,347
Oh, right
Jack's rule:
375
00:17:53,347 --> 00:17:55,443
Never date someone white
after labor day
376
00:18:00,569 --> 00:18:02,011
I'm gonna go over there
Yeah, you know, but--
377
00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:03,169
But Barry, don't, um...
378
00:18:03,563 --> 00:18:05,882
Don't listen to his rules, okay
379
00:18:05,882 --> 00:18:06,910
They're stupid
380
00:18:06,910 --> 00:18:07,652
Except for that one about
381
00:18:07,652 --> 00:18:10,769
waiting half an hour after
eating before dating a lifeguard
382
00:18:15,066 --> 00:18:15,936
But, you know...
383
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:18,976
wh-when the right guy is there
384
00:18:18,976 --> 00:18:19,964
you'll know it
385
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,243
I don't know
386
00:18:21,243 --> 00:18:22,683
Sometimes I feel like
I'm never gonna find him
387
00:18:22,683 --> 00:18:23,451
You will
388
00:18:24,128 --> 00:18:26,979
He may even be closer
than you think
389
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,105
In fact, um...
390
00:18:30,105 --> 00:18:31,515
Barry, there's something
that I've been meaning to--
391
00:18:31,515 --> 00:18:33,422
Okay, everybody, listen up
392
00:18:33,422 --> 00:18:36,211
The silent auction is
now officially closed
393
00:18:36,631 --> 00:18:39,425
Congratulations, we've raised
more money here tonight
394
00:18:39,425 --> 00:18:41,464
than we ever have before
395
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,645
We'll start by announcing
our first item:
396
00:18:47,645 --> 00:18:51,393
A romantic dinner for two
cooked in your very own home
397
00:18:51,393 --> 00:18:53,576
And the winner is...
398
00:18:54,137 --> 00:18:55,316
Karen Walker
399
00:18:55,316 --> 00:18:56,740
Wait, wait
Ho, whoa, what?
400
00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:59,053
No! No, no, that's impossible!
401
00:18:59,053 --> 00:19:00,454
I was the highest bidder
402
00:19:00,454 --> 00:19:02,787
You're not the highest anything!
403
00:19:07,018 --> 00:19:08,584
I switched the books on you
404
00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:09,150
Yeah
405
00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:11,370
You've just spent a
ton of Crystal's money
406
00:19:11,370 --> 00:19:14,241
on two front row tickets
to see the Indigo Girls
407
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:18,401
Benji! Benji!
408
00:19:20,688 --> 00:19:22,662
Thank you
Thank you
409
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,145
Gays rule!
410
00:19:28,090 --> 00:19:29,981
And to show my appreciation
411
00:19:29,981 --> 00:19:34,615
I would like to give my romantic
dinner to my best gal pal
412
00:19:34,615 --> 00:19:35,852
Jack McFarland
413
00:19:35,852 --> 00:19:38,045
to share with whoever he wants
414
00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:39,637
What?! What?
415
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,480
I won! I won!
416
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:42,511
I won!
417
00:19:43,053 --> 00:19:44,268
Thank you, Karen!
418
00:19:48,289 --> 00:19:50,933
Now, I know the question
that's on everybody's lips
419
00:19:50,933 --> 00:19:52,598
Who will I be sharing this dinner with?
420
00:19:52,598 --> 00:19:53,352
Who?
421
00:19:53,352 --> 00:19:56,122
Who, you? No
Who? Who? Who...
422
00:19:57,109 --> 00:19:58,784
Anyway, wh-where was I?
423
00:19:58,784 --> 00:19:59,858
I-I--you know what
424
00:19:59,858 --> 00:20:01,671
I'm just gonna come right out
and say it
425
00:20:01,671 --> 00:20:02,746
- Barry...
- Barry!
426
00:20:02,746 --> 00:20:04,959
- Would you go out--
- Would you go out with me?
427
00:20:05,559 --> 00:20:07,799
- Me?
- You? Him?
428
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:10,776
I can't believe
you're asking me
429
00:20:11,051 --> 00:20:12,500
Yeah, of course
I would go out with you
430
00:20:12,824 --> 00:20:14,231
Wow, it's just like you said
431
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:16,552
maybe the right guy was
closer than I thought
432
00:20:28,023 --> 00:20:29,928
And then, we got married
433
00:20:30,243 --> 00:20:32,154
It was like a fairy tale
434
00:20:32,831 --> 00:20:34,755
And on the first night of our honeymoon
435
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,350
he said something to me
436
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:39,748
that I have never told anyone
437
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:41,436
You're gonna love this--
438
00:20:53,362 --> 00:20:54,665
--was Jewish
30975
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