All language subtitles for The.Strawberry.Blonde.1941.WAC.1080p.BluRay.x265.HEVC.FLAC-SARTRE_SRT [English] (SUBRIP)

Ah! On that
set, I congranulate myself.

Biff, what is it, the score?

I don't know.
Haven't you been keeping track?

Since when do I supposed to know
how to count?

You can count in Greek,
can't you?

But this no Greek game.

- Well, are we playing for money?
- Sure.

In that case, I'm way ahead.

I think tomorrow morning
I start to go to night school.

What is she singing about?
Women are always singing!

- Why not?
- I like a good bass.

In my opinion,
no woman can sing.

It is my opinion Madame Melba

is greatest singeress
in the world.

Well, then she must sing bass.

I don't like women who sing.
That's the way I'm constituted.

Biff? Biff.

Biff, you still playing
that silly game?

I'm almost ready.

Oh, don't break a bustle.
I'll be in in a minute.

Your hands aren't washed yet,
and the afternoon's almost over.

Well, all we're gonna do
is take a walk.

I don't have to take a bath
for that, do I?

Biff Grimes,
you're worse than a child.

Aw.

Sundays are a pain
in the back teeth to me.

Nothing to do but take walks.

It's better than working,
don't it?

Oh, working, working.

Uh... I'm tired of playing.

Hey, what's the idea?

Oh, sorry.
Don't know my own strength.

You might have hit someone!

Well, what do you want me
to do, try again?

Well, you might be
a little more civil.

Oh, tell it to Sweeney.

Why, I have a good mind
to come over there and...

Aha!

A college man!

Now I'm scared.

Please, Harold.

Brawling may be all right
for a Harvard man, but --

I'd like to give him a taste
of the good old flying wedge!

Phew! Boy, you sure got
some sweet temperature today.

That's nothing.
This is my Sunday mood.

You should see me
the rest of the week.

Nick, I think I'll have to
give up this place.

I've been here... eight months.

Eight months,
and I've had two patients.

And I'm still trying to collect
from one of them.

Well, always from the start
in the beginning.

Hey, Nick.

Uh, do you suppose they know
I'm a jailbird?

Nah.
How they know that?

Well, they found out
in the other two neighborhoods.

Well then, how do you
account for the --

Maybe you just move in
a neighborhood with good teeth.

That's very discouraging.

Very discouraging.

Well, may as well
get that walk over with.

Keep right on playing that tune.

You want some more birch beer?

No.
Never mind.

Hey, what's the name
of that thing they're playing?

You know better than I do

what's the name of that thing
they're playing.

Yeah.
"And the Band Played On."

Mm.
That's all I remember.

You know, that song must be
eight or ten years old.

Sure.

Biff, remember
Schultz's three-piece band

down in the old
neighborhood park?

"Bands Plays On,"
"Bands Plays On."

- That's all they ever do.
- That's all they ever knew.

You ever go down the old
neighborhood anymore, Nick?

Nah.
It's too much of a trip.

Boy, how those foreigners
murders the English language.

Mm.

Well, we'll never have
those good times again, Nick.

A little two-by-four park
and all those girls.

Ah.
She was a beautiful girl.

Who?

Virginia.

Now, what made you bring up
Virginia?

You were stuck on her,
ain't you?

Me? No.

Oh, I was.

Oh, I liked her... in a nice way.

Yeah, I liked her, too.
But I forget which way.

And to think of
all the wonderful boys

in the neighborhood,
including me,

and Hugo Barnstead
has to get Virginia.

Why did you have to
bring up Hugo?

How can you bring up Virginia
without bringing up Hugo?

If ever I get my hands
on that slimy --

That's right, Biff.
You knock him down. I kick him.

I mean it, Nick.

After all,
the best thing is to forget.

Let bygones be bygones.

Not me.
I take nothing from nobody.

That's the kind of a hairpin
I am.

Doggone it.

I was just beginning to forget
the whole thing

when that tinhorn band
had to start up

and you had to open your trap.

All right, Biff.
It's closed.

How long are they gonna
keep on playing that piece?

Hey!

Hey, you!
Shut up!

I beg your pardon.
Were you addressing me?

I was talking to the band.
Any objections?

I don't like the tune
they're playing.

Oh, you don't?
Well, we do.

In fact, we asked them
to play it again.

And I'm going to ask them
to change it.

Well, it's still a free country.

I guess they can play
what they like.

Is it free enough for a dentist

to punch a college man
in the nose?

Certainly,
and since you're a dentist,

maybe you won't mind losing
a couple of front teeth.

Why, you...

Let go of me!

Easy, boy.
There's six of them.

That makes it even.

- Biff!
- What?

Biff, what are you doing?

Discussing music!

Biff, you come right in here
this instant.

You're wanted on the telephone.

Get the number and tell them
I'll call them back.

- Biff!
- Oh, all right.

Don't you move!
I'll be right back!

Don't worry.
We'll be here.

Biff, fighting on Sunday.

Oh, goodness.

I don't know what
this neighborhood's coming to.

I want to apologize
for my husband.

Apologize?

After I knock him cold,
then apologize.

Tessie, you leave Butch alone.

Now, leave him alone.

Oh, you answer it, Nick.
It can't be important.

Hurry up, Biff,
and call me when you're ready.

- All right.
- Hello?

Just a minute, please.

Man says his friend
got a toothache.

Tell him to keep it.

The doctor is very busy.

He says it hurts.
Wants for you should pull it.

Tell him I don't pull teeth
on Sunday unless it's a child.

How old is this toothache?

He says he is the president
from the exchange bank.

Wants to speak to you personal.

I don't care who he is.
I don't pull teeth on Sunday!

I have no patients,
but I have got principles.

Here he is, President.

Hello.

I'm sorry to trouble you,

but this guest of mine
is suffering terribly.

I've already called every other
dentist in the neighborhood,

but they're all out walking
with their wives.

Would you please do it?

Called every dentist
in the neighborhood first.

I'm sorry.

I've got a wife, and I've also
got to go walking with her.

Tell your friend to try
a hot water bottle.

We've already tried that.

As you can probably hear.

Now, look.
I know it's Sunday.

But, uh, Mr. Barnstead's
willing to pay you

double your usual fee.

It isn't a matter of m--

Wait a minute.
What name did you say that was?

Barnstead.

Would that be Hugo Barnstead?

Yes.
Hugo Barnstead, the alderman.

Oh.
Well, then send him over.

No, I'll do it.

Oh, no. Not at all.
No. It's a pleasure.

Well... can you beat it?

Hugo Barnstead is coming over
to have his tooth pulled!

Coincidentally a coincidence.

It's more than a coincidence.

It's poetic justice.

Is it?
I take your word for it.

But say.

Hugo, don't he know
you're the dentist?

I guess not.

I guess he doesn't even know
I'm out of jail.

And to think I was considering
going after him with a gun.

And here he walks
right into my parlor.

Now, Biff...

Yeah.

If I know Hugo Barnstead,
he's going to want gas.

All right.
I'll give him gas.

Now, Biff, don't do nothing
you're gonna be sorry for.

What do you want me to do?

Tear out his teeth
with my bare hands?

Of course I'll give him gas.

An accident can happen.
Who are we to know?

Biff, you crazy.

Who has a better right than me?

- Nobody, but...
- Nobody can blame me, can they?

That don't do nobody no good.

It don't help you.
Don't help Amy.

Mm.
Can you imagine it?

Walking right into my parlor.

Keep on playing that song!

It helps to remind me!

Which reminds me
of a time about 10 years ago.

My old man was working for
the street-cleaning department.

Well, who
is this greets me tired eyes,

if it's tired they are?

If it isn't Mrs. Mulcahey.

Ha.

'Tis early for you
to be coming home from work,

isn't it, Mr. Grimes?

Even though you are working
for the city.

Well, I'm hardly
a clock watcher, Mrs. Mulcahey.

Sure.

It couldn't be, now, I suppose,
that the city has fired you?

Well, couldn't we better say
that we'd, uh,

we dissolved partnership?

Oh, pshaw.

What's going to become of you
at all, William Grimes?

That is a question I'm not even
interested in the answer of,

and I'm glad the city
did fire me.

It gives me more time to be
with you, Mrs. Mulcahey.

Tell me.

- Is your good husband home?
- Well, indeed he is not.

My Timothy's a man who can hold
on to a job, and he'll be home

when every respectable
working man comes home --

at 7:30.

Then we must hurry away
to the park

And under the spread
of the chestnut tree with --

You're just a faker.

Me, a faker?
You'd say that to me?

Well, if there's one thing
certain,

your bark is worse
than your bite.

And if there's another thing
certain,

the ladies all prefer me bark
to their husband's bite.

You're a braggart, a blowhard,
and a liar.

- That's what you are.
- Of a certainty, I'm a liar.

Then why do you go around
talking love

to every woman
in the neighborhood?

Well, what would you have me
talk about, the weather?

You know, Mrs. Mulcahey,
you and I are no longer young.

So we must grasp the grape
of happiness. I --

Ah. There you go again.
You and your blather.

What's the sign
they're putting out?

- Bock beer.
- I know the rest of it.

Mrs. Mulcahey,
I've suddenly remembered

a luncheon appointment
that I'd had.

So we'll take this up where we
leave off now in the morning,

after your good husband
has gone to work.

- A good day to you.
- Uh-huh.

Oh, glory be.

Top of the day to you,
gentlemen.

What's the matter?
Did you lose your job again?

Quiet.

Can't even hold a political job,
can you?

'Twas a mere disagreement.

I expect an apology
in the morning,

or else it'll mean the end
of Tammany.

- Ha ha.
- Oh, no, you don't.

There's a scalawag if there
ever was one.

Good night, all.

Well, Biff.

What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be working.

Well, you know, a little bite
of lunch and a glass of beer.

You were following the parade,
and that's a long way from here.

Have you been canned again?

Well, Biff,
we may as well face it.

I was never in the world cut out
to be a street cleaner,

and there's no use reaching
for the stars.

What happened this time?

Oh, Biff, it's me teeth.

- And when a man's in misery --
- Why can't you get a new alibi?

What, when I've been using
that one for 30 years?

Huh!
What are you doing here?

- I'm working here.
- Since when?

Since this morning.

Oh, no. No, you're not.
You're quitting right now.

I'll have no son of mine
being a bartender.

I'm not a bartender.
I'm the new bouncer.

The bouncer!

Oh, Biff, you've made me
the happiest man in --

Oh, cut it out, will you?
I'm supposed to be a tough guy.

Oh.
Well, tell me, Biff.

- Have you thrown anyone out yet?
- No.

Things have been pretty quiet,
but it'll pick up.

Oh.

Say, this ain't gonna
change your idea

about being a dentist, is it?

Oh, of course not.

A lesson came in the mail
this morning.

I think I'll do some work
on you tonight.

That's the stuff.

You fix the old man's teeth,
and wait and see.

I'll be a different man.

Nothing will be changed
but your smile.

Oh, now, Biff,
you know that my teeth

have always been the root
of all my trouble.

Now, you do a good job on me,
I'd be a reformed character,

and I'd become a credit
to the community.

Oh, Biff, let me hug you.

Quit slobbering over me,
will you?

- Cut it out.
- Very well.

Tell you what.
Everybody step up to the bar!

I have great cause
for celebration!

Bring out your best.

Oh!
Hold your horses.

What are you gonna use
for money?

Well, uh,
I was of the impression

that my credit was good
around here.

Do me a favor
and tie that bull outside.

Well, in that case,

everybody have a round
of free lunch on me!

Throw this bum out.

Oh, I can't do that.
He's my old man.

He's not mine.
Throw him out.

There are a lot of other bums
in here.

Let me throw one of them out.

Who's giving orders around here?
Throw him out on his ear.

Now, listen, you.

Why, you couldn't throw me out
if you wanted to.

I've licked you through all the
ages and stages of your life.

I've licked you with a strap.
I've licked you with a broom.

I've licked you
with me bare fist.

And right here and now,

spotting you 32 years,
a beer belly,

and the delicate condition
of me teeth,

with one arm behind me back,
one foot in the air,

whistling the tune
"Annie Laurie,"

I can throw you through
that plate-glass window

without even so much as making
a crack in the pane!

Oh, now, look here, Pop.

Oh, that's it, is it?

Sassing your old man,

holding him up to ridicule
and shame, huh?

Give me room!
Give me room!

Go for it!

Go to it, Biff.
Make it look good.

I'll cooperate.

I can't. You're my old man.
I brought you up.

Throw me clean out.

Maybe I'll bounce a couple times
for you.

All righty.

Oh!

Hey.

Are you hurted, Mr. Grimes?

Not even me feelings.

And since I'm going your way,

we'll drop to your house
and have a spot of tea.

Now, the next time, don't even
leave that bum in here.

Who are you calling a bum?

Say, watch the way
you talk to me.

Oh.
Now, you watch this.

Wonderful invention,
the leech.

That's not an invention.
That's animal.

Wonderful animal, the leech.

I'm easy to get along with.

When are you ever gonna win
a fight?

Biff doesn't want to spoil
his record, do you, Biff?

Aw, he hit me with a spittoon.

Only after he got tired
of hitting you with his fists.

Hiya, boys.

Say, Hugo, still want to take
a bet in the third at Gravesend?

- Sure. What horse?
- Ulysses S. Grant.

- Thirty-five cents on the nose.
- Thirty-five cents?

What is it, a legacy?

What, again?

What a pipperino.

Looks like
some of Big Joe's work.

Right.
How'd you guess?

His initials are beginning
to form.

Aw, he hit me
with a beer bottle.

What happened to the spittoon?

Don't worry.
I'll fix him.

I don't take nothing
from nobody.

That's the kind of a hairpin
I am.

Any of you fellas want to buy
a ticket for the boat ride?

Not me.
I'm gonna stow away.

I take one of those
stowaways tickets, too.

What's the matter with you boys?

This is sponsored
by the Ladies' Aid Auxiliary

of the Fourth Ward
Democratic Club.

Don't you want to lend a
helping hand to a worthy cause?

Not when the worthy cause
is Hugo Barnstead.

Now, believe me, fellas,
all I get out of this

is the satisfaction of doing
a good deed for charity.

Aw, horses' feathers.

And a small commission.

That sounds more like
the Hugo Barnstead we all know

and hate.

I suppose that shiner
was Big Joe's way of firing you.

Yeah, I guess so.

Anybody hit another guy
with a broom handle.

Say, while you're not
doing anything,

why don't you help me sell
the rest of these tickets?

I'm too busy
with my other enterprises.

I'll split the commission
with you.

I've heard about
the way you split.

You'll make a better salesman
than a bouncer.

All right.
I'll try some.

I'll try the dentists.
We're colleagues.

Finish!

Hey, fellas, here comes
the strawberry blonde.

Two, four, six, eight.
Who do we appreciate?

Going my way, sister?

I love my wife,
but, oh, you kid!

Your mother know you're out?

For her, I'd take out
citizenship papers.

Watch me get her.

There's nothing like selling
a ticket to a charity boat ride

- to get acquainted.
- Let Biff go.

He's your salesman now.

Oh, gosh.
I couldn't ask her for money.

Oh, pardon me.

Can you beat that?

If you ask me,
Miss Brush and Hugo

are gonna become
awfully good friends.

See what I mean?

You take that back.

What for?
I'm entitled to my opinion.

Which one of your ears
do you want knocked down?

Just you try either one, mister.

Give me room.

Go over to the drugstore
and get me another leech, quick.

Oh, Biff, what do they call
that stuff again?

Uh, nitrous oxide.

Well, are you sure you know
how to use it?

I'm reading up on it now.

Well, Biff, don't you think
we ought to wait

until you learned it by heart?

If I get stuck, I can
always look at the letter.

All right.
I'm ready now.

- Which tooth hurts?
- Well, they all hurt.

Well, I can't pull them all.

I won't know how to do that
for another 12 lessons at least,

and you know I get
only one letter a month.

Well, couldn't we hurry that up
with a few special deliveries?

Now, will you stop
being a pussy willow?

- Which tooth do you want pulled?
- I don't care.

Take your pick.
I'm not playing any favorites.

What do you want me to do,
play "eenie-meeny-miney-moe"?

- No!
- Well, lean back.

- Wait a minute, Biff.
- What's the matter now?

Just a minute.

Don't you think we ought to have

one last little look
at the letter?

There may be
a typographical error.

If there is,
we'll find out soon enough.

Now, lean back
and inhale into this thing.

What's the matter?

Oh, there's nothing the matter.

- What's so funny?
- Oh, there's nothing so funny!

- Well, what are you laughing at?
- Oh, I don't know!

Unless it's because I'm looking
at your face.

You've been looking at it
for years.

- It was never funny before.
- That's right!

Oh, Biff,
there's something wrong.

I'm getting sillier
by the minute!

Oh, you're all right.

It says here that's the way
it acts on a lot of people.

In a minute,
you'll be unconscious.

- Biffy.
- Hmm?

- I don't think I'm unconscious.
- Says here you're unconscious.

Oh, Biffy, maybe I am,
but I doubt it!

Do you want me to make a liar
out of the letter?

Now, here.
Take another whiff of this, huh?

You're a fine one
to practice on.

Now, here.

I promise you.
Won't hurt a bit.

Oh!

Why, you clumsy, left-handed
son of a street cleaner!

What is it you're trying to do,

kill your old man
for the insurance?

You haven't got any insurance!

Oh! That's why
you're trying to kill me!

Dentist, is it?
You're worse than a plumber.

Let me get me hands on you,
and I'd tear you

and them letters half in two
in the same motion!

Calm down, Pop.
Now, calm down!

And I suppose
when you graduate,

you'll hang out a big sign --
"Painless Dentistry."

Well, it's a lie.
Do you hear? It's a lie!

Whoa! Whoa.
Whoa.

Hey, Biff!

- Yeah?
- What are you doing tonight?

Nothing much.
Why?

Want to drive over to the park
with me?

There's some girls
waiting for us.

- How many?
- Two.

- Just two?
- Yeah.

Well, uh, I'll be right down.

I got to pull
my old man's tooth.

All right.

I'm sorry, son,
but you'll have to stay home.

I'll be right down!

Where's me coat?

What? Where you going?

You stay home,
read over your lessons.

I tend to the romantic end
of this family.

But I thought you wanted
your tooth pulled!

I do, but that can wait
until morning.

L'amour, son. L'amour!

Just give me one more chance,
huh?

Come on.
One more chance.

- I'll get it this time.
- Oh.

Now, take a good, deep inhale
of this.

Deeper now.

Deep! Deep! Deep!

Good.

Ow! Ow! Ooh!

Ooh! Aah! Oh!

Oh!

Aah! Oh! Oh!
Oh.

Ohh.

Ah! Oh.

Oh.

Oh. He stabbed me!

Hey, come on.
Hop up.

- Let me drive, huh?
- Yeah, to the park.

- I drive up to the girls.
- Yeah. Sure. Giddyap!

Oh, would you listen
to the old devil?

Well, as I was saying,
Mrs. Mulcahey,

he says to me,
"When your husband goes to work,

Knock on my door."

Oh, he's the fine boyo.

He's the one.

Who are the girls?

Well, one of them's
the strawberry blonde.

- Virginia Brush?
- In the flesh.

Oh. Virginia.
Gosh.

You don't mean to say that
the very first time she met you,

without an introduction,
she made a date with you?

Certainly not.
Virginia's a nice girl.

She just let it be known
she'd be in the park tonight

- with a girlfriend.
- Lots of nice girls do that.

- Sure.
- I suppose I get the girlfriend.

Naturally.

You think I'd wear this suit
on a weekday

for anybody but Virginia?

As usual, I get the leavings.

I'll bet she's a crow.

Oh, how do you know?

Did you ever see the girlfriend
of a pretty girl that wasn't?

Take your time, Speedy.
I'm in no hurry.

Oh, now, Biff.

Say, how is it you asked me
to go along?

How is it you didn't ask
one of the other boys, huh?

How is that?

Well, Biff, number one,
you're my business partner.

And number two,
with those shiners,

you won't be much competition
with Virginia.

And number three --

Number two is enough.

Oh, I'll bet she's a crow.

Hello, Virginia.

The boys will be here
any minute.

- What kept you? Work late?
- A little.

Oh, it's too bad you didn't have
time to get out of your uniform.

Oh, I had plenty of time.

Then why didn't you?

Why should I?

I'm proud of my uniform.

It's a sign to the men

that women not only have the
same right to work as the men,

but that in the eyes of --

Oh, hush, Amy.

You're not
at a suffragette meeting now.

The tyranny of man over woman.

The stupid convention

that says a woman shall wear
such and such.

- The outmoded --
- Please, Amy.

Just tonight, try to be a woman,
not a pamphlet.

Women throughout the ages
have...

Oh.

It's a lovely night.

Who cares
if we ever get to vote?

Amy!

Yes, dear?

If there's something
in your eye, Amy,

I'll help you get it out.

Oh, bosh.
There's nothing in my eye.

I just plain and simple winked
at him, that's all.

No, Amy.

Either he's an old friend
of the family's

or there's something
in your eye.

I never saw him before
in my life

until a few minutes ago when
I passed Fisher's drugstore.

Oh, Amy, he followed you here?

No. I followed him.

Oh, Amy.

Will you stop that?
What will people think of us?

Virginia, be sensible.

That's the way men behave
toward women.

There's no reason why women
shouldn't behave that way

right back.

- The single standard of moral --
- I refuse to listen

to advanced ideas.

Is it any worse
than what you did?

Making a date with a man

you were never
formally introduced to.

Why, I never did any such thing.

I simply happened to mention
that I was in the habit

of taking walks in the park
with my girlfriend.

And besides and moreover,
I didn't wink.

Don't be a hypocrite, Virginia.

Spiritually, you winked.

Here comes a buggy.
Maybe it's them.

Whoa, there.

Well, there she is.
There's Virginia.

He hired a carriage.

Oh, I just knew by the tie
he wore this morning

he was a sport.

Gosh, she looks pretty.

Oh, boy. She's all the fudge.

What's that thing with her?

I suppose that's the girlfriend.

What's she got on, a nightgown?

That's no nightgown.
It's a uniform of some s--

Why, she's a nurse.

A nurse.

Well, 23, skidoo.
Not for Biff Grimes.

What's the matter with a nurse?
She looks pretty.

Well, she'll want to take
my temperature.

Good luck, Hugo.
I'll walk home.

Wait a minute. You can't go.
It's your date as well as mine.

Anything you can get me into,
I can get myself out of.

- So long.
- Well, Biff, wait a minute.

You're spoiling everything
with Virginia.

She won't go out with me alone.

Biff, I've got it
on awful good authority

nurses are a lot of fun.

I'll bet you she even lets you
put your arm around her waist.

Well, what fun is that?

Do you know the amount of starch
in a nurse's uniform?

- Good night.
- Biff!

You can have Virginia.
How's that?

You're not kidding?

Word of honor.

Say it louder.

Oh, all right.

Word of honor.

Well, that's better.

Well, I'm just crazy
about Virginia.

I don't want him to think
I'm staring at him.

You look, Amy, and tell me
what you think of him.

Well...

the only one I can see clearly
from here is the horse,

and I'm disappointed in him.

All right. Now, here's the plan.
We won't stop the first time.

I'll drive by
at a nice fast gallop.

That'll look smart.

All right. You handle the reins,
and I'll crack the whip.

Give her the whip.

Yahoo!

Here they come.

They're just trying to make
an impression.

Do you think we'll ever see them
again?

The street runs in a circle.
They should be back any minute.

Pull up on it, Hugo!

- Whoa!
- Whoa! Whoa!

- Whoa! Whoa!
- Whoa!

This nag is wild.
We better lead him.

All right.
Anything you say.

Whoa.

Now, listen.

We won't say a word to them.
Just let them pass.

Of course, if they say
something, we'll say something.

And if they don't say anything,
we won't say anything.

No.
Just drop your eyes.

Drop my eyes?

Yes.

That will show them
we're good girls

and they can't trifle with us.

Well, for goodness' sakes,
what did we come here for

if not to be trifled with?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

There they are.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Let's walk right by them, huh?
- Oh, no, we won't.

We'll stop and talk to them.

You speak first and then
make me acquainted, huh?

All right, all right.

- Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh! Oh!

Hey, pull him away!
Pull away, Biff!

You pull him away.
You hired him.

Oh, gentlemen, please!

Thank you. Thank you.

We're not accustomed to being
accosted by strange horses.

I'm so sorry, ladies.

I must apologize
for the behavior of --

Say, aren't you the young lady

I sold the ticket to
this afternoon?

Why, I believe I am.

I thought so.

Well, I think the circumstance
permits me to introduce myself.

My name is Hugo Barnstead.

How do you do?
I'm Virginia Brush.

This is my very special
girlfriend Amy.

Amy Lind.

Delighted, Miss Lind.

Ladies, this is my confrere,
Biff Grimes.

- How do you do?
- Pleased to meet you.

Strange, isn't it, our paths
should cross again so soon?

Oh, Amy and I always take
our constitutional here

in the evening.

Well, Biff and I always manage
to take a canter

in the cool of the evening.

- Amy and I --
- Oh, for Pete's sake, Virginia.

Cut out the nonsense.

This is a prearranged date,
and we all know it.

I've got to get back on duty
by 11:00.

So come on.
Let's shake our tootsies.

Amy!

Oh, "Amy" my grandmother's
hot water bottle.

- She's fast.
- Yeah.

What do you say we all take
a drive out to the country?

We can make Harlem
if we start now.

- Oh, that would be lovely.
- I'll handle the reins, Biff.

- You help the ladies in.
- Okay. Right.

All right.
Get in.

We have dozens of your cases
at the hospital.

It's mostly gastroduodenitis.

Please, Miss Lind,
watch your language.

We have a lady present.

Now, Hugo, you stop that!

Hugo!

Oh, this is all in fun!

There's something
about the country air.

Hmm?

I said there's -- there's
something about the country air.

I like city air.

Well, there -- there really
isn't any difference

between city air
and country air.

They're both, um, hydrogen
and oxygen and --

Air. You can't even see it,
so why talk about it?

My mother was one
of the original Bloomer Girls.

I said, uh...

my mother was one
of the original Bloomer Girls.

Mm.
They had bats in their belfry.

They did not!

They were foresighted,
courageous, intelligent women.

All right.
All right.

Nobody's blaming you
for your mother.

I'm not apologizing
for my mother.

Look, do I know your mother?

Then why get into an argument
about her?

I hardly know you.

You're not a very easy person
to get to know, Mr. Grimes.

Well... that's the kind
of a hairpin I am.

I'm going to have a smoke.

May I have one, too, please?

Sure.

Hey!

Don't tell me you smoke.

Only when I'm bored.

Well, your mother
a Bloomer Girl,

you a nicotine fiend.

Are there any more at home
like you?

I have an aunt who's an actress.

Well, that completes
the picture.

Look, I been around.

They can say an awful lot
of things about Biff Grimes,

but not that he ever gave
a cigarette to a girl.

Stop! Stop it!

Stop it!

I, uh...
I thought it was Virginia.

However, it was a good thought.

I, uh...
I guess they must be engaged.

Why?
Because she let him kiss her?

Well, sure.

Would you let a boy kiss you
you weren't engaged to?

If he was charming and
nice-looking, I certainly would.

Well, what can you expect
from a...

Girl who smokes,
whose mother wore bloomers,

and whose aunt's on the stage?

I, uh, I guess a little kiss
is harmless

if it's, uh, all in fun.

Even if it isn't in fun.

You mean...

Exactly.

Well, wouldn't you like a nice
young man to marry you someday?

No, not particularly.

So you don't believe
in the institution of marriage!

An outmoded, silly convention
started by the cavemen

and encouraged by the florists
and jewelers.

After all, what's marriage?

Well, wouldn't you like to have
a home and kids?

Why, certainly I would,

but that doesn't mean you
have to go through all the...

Y-You mean...

Exactly.

Oh, Hugo!

Hugo!

- What's the matter?
- Come on.

- Let's get out of here quick.
- What's gotten into you?

We're just beginning
to get acquainted.

You mean...

Exactly.

You owe a dollar and a quarter
for your share of the rig.

I paid Baxter.

Oh.

Here it is.

Last time you're ever gonna
stick me with a double date.

She was as much a surprise to me
as she was to you.

Then why did you ask her
to go on the boat ride?

I didn't ask.
Virginia told us.

Look, let's have one thing
understood right now.

On the boat ride,
Virginia's my girl.

Of course.
To make up for tonight.

Yeah.

Say, uh, let me off
at the corner.

You return the rig to Baxter's,
will you?

I've got to pick up the tickets
from the printer's.

- He's working overtime.
- All right.

So long.
See you tomorrow.

All right.
See you tomorrow.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa.

Uh, this is the rig
that Hugo Barnstead hired.

Yeah? Drove her pretty hard,
didn't you?

- Well, good night.
- Ha! Wait a minute.

- Two-fifty, please.
- Well, didn't he pay you?

- No, he didn't.
- He said he did.

I gave him a dollar
and a quarter for my share.

Took my last cent.

I have an idea
that once we're under way

your husband might fall
overboard.

Then you and me...

...734, 735,

36, 37, 38, 39, 40,

41, 42, 43...

We must find time for a nice,
long talk on women's rights.

...749, 750.

Sorry, folks.
No more allowed on board.

- But we have tickets!
- And hard-boiled eggs!

I can't help that.

The regulations say only 750
on this boat at one time,

and I just clocked off 750.

Seven fifty?
We sold 3,000 tickets!

That means that 2,000 of us
don't get on the boat!

All I know is the regulations.

- Come on.
- Hugo!

- All right. Come on.
- Hugo!

Barnstead!

Oh, poor Mr. Grimes!

Poor --
What about Virginia?

She's stuck
with poor Mr. Grimes.

Hugo certainly disappeared
in a hurry.

Oh, I'd probably get seasick
anyhow.

Why can't we make a day of it
anyway, Virginia?

We can sail over there
to the Statue of Liberty

and then go on up
to Central Park and see the zoo.

And then we could get a hansom
and drive around...

and then dinner
in some nice, expensive place.

And then one of those fancy
beer gardens for dancing.

And then...

We'll be pretty tired by then.

That's my idea
of a real stylish stout.

Awfully inspiring, isn't she?

She's more than that to me.
She made me hungry as heck.

Oh, no, thanks.

I'm afraid I'll spoil
my appetite for dinner.

No, no!

No, no, no!

And she was right, too.

Well, if a man can't take
liberties here, where can he?

Are you sure you won't have
a hard-boiled egg?

No, I don't think so.

Let's go to the zoo.

Oh, it must be terrible
to be caged up that way.

Oh, well, they...
they have each other.

Aw!

Going around scaring women.

Aw!

"Love me and the world is mine."

And a sarsaparilla for the lady.

Uh, want a little sip?

Oh, no.
I couldn't drink beer.

Oh, go ahead.
I'm broad-minded.

Now, Biff, you know
what you'd really think of me

if I drank beer.

Why, in my eyes, Virginia,

you couldn't possibly do
anything wrong.

In my eyes, you're the most
perfect lady in the whole world.

In my eyes --

Oh!

Oh!
Hey, you!

Come on, Biff.
Let's dance.

Hey, sit down!

Sit down
before you break something.

Why, Biff!

Oh, I've got influence.

I didn't know you were
so well known.

Biff!

Fritz!

I-I hope you enjoyed the song.

Oh, it was fine.
Thanks. Thanks.

That will be $2, please.

- Oh. Uh...
- What for?

Why, Mr. Grimes said
he'd pay me if I...

Well, here's, uh,
here's a dollar,

and, uh, there's
a half a dollar...

and a quarter.

That's $1.75.

There's a nickel, a dime.
I've got to give you 10 pennies.

- Oh, that's all right.
- There you are.

Oh... I'm sorry.

Biff, I think
you're a real sport.

Well, then, uh, how about going
for a nice carriage ride

through the park later, huh?

- But, Biff, you...
- Oh, that's all right.

I've got a working arrangement
with the livery stable.

Well, good night, Biff,
and thanks again.

To me, Virginia, this day
will last long in my memory.

It's been a most wonderful
experience,

and if you don't mind,

I'd kind of like to remember it
as a national holiday.

That's sweet of you, Biff.

And that song.

That will always be our song,
won't it?

You know, we ought to do this
sort of thing more often, huh?

Uh, well, maybe --
maybe not quite so elaborately.

Oh, yes.
I'd love to sometime.

Well, uh, what are you doing,
uh,

what are you doing
tomorrow night?

Oh, uh, tomorrow night I have
a date with Billy Milburn.

Well, uh, Saturday night?

Saturday I sort of
promised Hugo.

Well, uh, how about Monday?

Oh, Monday nights,
I practice the piano.

Tuesday?

Tuesday.

Oh, there's that lovely boy
from Brooklyn.

I don't mind you going out with
the boys in the neighborhood,

but when you reach out
into the sticks --

- But Jack's very cosmopolitan.
- Virginia?

- Yes, Mother?
- It's after 10:30.

All right, Mother.
I'll be right up.

Well, good night, Biff, and
thanks for a very lovely day.

Oh, Virginia, I-I know
you're a very popular girl,

but I really would like
to see you sometime.

Oh, uh, let's say, uh,
three weeks from Wednesday.

- I'll be free then.
- Oh, well, Virginia, uh...

that time when you kissed me
when we were dancing,

uh, was that just
one of those things or...

I mean, did it mean anything
to you,

- or was it just one of those --
- Now, Biff!

Do you think
I'm the kind of a girl

who just goes around
kissing boys?

Oh, no! Certainly not!
It was just that --

Yow!

I'll be seeing you
three weeks from Wednesday.

All right.
So who got hurt?

The charity only expected
to make 750 bucks,

and that's what they got --
every cent.

We happened to make a mistake
and sell too many tickets,

and I was smart enough
to cash in on the mistake,

so now I'm in business.

But what do I get
out of the mistake?

I'm tired of having you
step all over me.

What do you mean,
step all over you?

As soon as this gets going,
I'm gonna take care of you.

That's what I figured on
from the beginning.

Someday Hugo Barnstead is
gonna be a big man in this town,

and so is Biff Grimes.

Of course, not as big as Hugo.

In the meantime,
would you mind paying me

that dollar and a quarter you
owe me for the rig you hired?

Yeah. Sure.
Uh, you got change for a 50?

- Are you kidding?
- No, no.

As soon as I get
one of these chan--

Hey, Joe, put more gild
on that "B," will you?

I'm busy now, Biff.
I'll see you later.

Now, wait a...

Why, hello, Biff.

Hello, Virginia.

What lovely lettering.

Is it gold?

- Gild.
- Ah.

Well, he's just starting out.

Uh, I may go
into the business later,

but I haven't decided yet.

How very nice for you.

Hugo --

Mr. Barnstead is a very
enterprising young man.

Mm-hmm.

Virginia, y-you know what day
this is, don't you?

- No. What?
- Three weeks from Wednesday.

Well, don't you remember?
We have a date.

Oh, that's right.

I've been meaning to tell you,
Biff --

A cousin of mine arrived
unexpectedly from Scranton,

and Mother says that I'll...

Oh, that means that --
that you can't make it?

A cousin
all the way from Scranton?

Oh, gosh, and... I figured we
could go down to Tony Pastor's

for the vaudeville and after
that go to some swell place

where they have good music.

Biff, you know what?

I made a date with you,
and I'm going to keep it,

cousin or no cousin.

I'll meet you in the park.

Well, you've certainly
made me happy again.

But you will come alone?

Of course.

I wouldn't want to share you
with anybody.

Well, thanks, Miss Brush --
I mean Virginia.

Uh, all right, then.
Eight o'clock, huh?

Eight o'clock sharp.

Oh, uh, I won't bring anybody
if you don't bring anybody.

All right, Biff.

I'll look forward
to seeing you.

Goodbye!

Goodbye!

What you doing?!

Come on!
Get out of there!

Now, Nick, you know
what this means to me.

Four more bucks, and I'll be set
for the evening.

I'm crazy about Virginia myself.
Why should I give you the money?

Well, I'll put in a good word
for you, huh?

Well, I give you the money
if you promise me one thing.

Sure.
What?

When you find out
you can't pay me back,

you don't get mad at me.

Nick, you're certainly it
when a fella needs a friend.

Nick, you're a daisy,
and you, too, whoever you are.

- Hello, Toby.
- Got to light them all.

Everybody takes it for granted.

If I didn't light them,
it would be dark.

That's right, Toby.

Mm.
The freethinker.

Hello, Biff.

And all dressed up
like Astor's pet horse.

Where are the bloomers?

- If you're really interested --
- Never mind!

What are you doing here, anyway?

Oh, I got a night off from the
hot-water bottles and the bed--

I'm not interested.

May I sit down?

It's a free country.

I do wish you'd tie a tin can
to yourself and beat it.

I've got a date here.

I know.
Virginia told me.

She did?
There you go.

Proves you can't trust
any woman, not even Virginia.

But don't you think you're gonna
tag along after us, now.

O, don't worry, Biff.
I won't.

I'm just out
for a little fresh air, and --

and I promise I'll go
whenever you want me to.

Well, as soon as we hear
Virginia's first footsteps,

that's when I want you to.

All right, Biff.

Nice evening.

Yes.

Mm!

Swell.

Pretty soon the moon will be up.

Last night, it came up early.

Oh, there it is now!

Mm.
Right on time.

It's beautiful.

This time of night, things seem
still and quiet, don't they?

Soon the fall will be here.

Trees will get bare.

And then winter.

I don't like the winter.

No?

No.

I get lonesome
when winter comes.

You get lonesome?

Yes.

I know how you feel.
I get lonesome, too.

Oh, do you, Biff?

Yeah. A little.

How is it you haven't got a date
tonight?

Freethinkers have a lot of time
on their hands.

Biff...

if I ask you something,
will you tell me?

What?

You don't have to tell me
unless you want to.

Well, what is it?

Do you love Virginia?

Now, what business is it
of yours?

I guess you do.

Otherwise you wouldn't be angry.

Yes, I do.

Schultz's music
must be making me soft,

or else I wouldn't be
telling you about it.

Maybe I'm... Maybe I'm a little
bit too crazy about her,

but somehow, she's my ideal.

Every fella has an ideal,
somebody he cares for.

And when he cares for
that somebody, why...

nothing else matters.

It's like...

Well, it's like a--
like an ingrown pain.

It starts in the pit
of your stomach

and works on up to your neck.

Well... that's the way I feel
about Virginia.

I see, Biff.

Biff, I saw Virginia
this afternoon.

And she...

There she is now.
Go on. Beat it, will you?

Will you beat it?
Go ahead.

- Ah! Hello there. Hello, Amy.
- Hello.

I thought maybe you left
already.

This is Josephine Miller.
You know, uh...

- Hello.
- Say hello to Mr. Grimes.

"Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee."

That's about all you can get
from her.

Biff... I got a date
with this giggler tonight.

I could use that four bucks.

Well, Nick, you know
I've got a date myself.

Oh, no, you don't got.

What are you talking about?

- That tells the whole story.
- What story?

Biff, you take it
like I took it.

You know --

At 4:00 this afternoon,
Virginia married Hugo Barnstead.

What?

I shaved him for the ceremony.

What stopped me
from to cut his throat?

Well... it's no surprise to me.

They left already
for Niagara's Falls.

Hugo took a lower sleeper.

No surprise to you?

You mooched four bucks from me

for a date with Virginia,
didn't you?

Oh, no.
Not with Virginia.

I had a date with Amy.

You said Virginia.

No, no. I said Amy.
You had soap in your ears.

What do you suppose
she's all dressed up for?

Why, yes.

Biff and I have a steady date
every Wednesday night.

Every Wednesday night?

Then what for all the time
in the barbershop

you always say she got belfries
in the bats?

Oh, no. Not Amy.
Virginia.

Nick, I knew all the time
about Virginia and Hugo.

As a matter of fact,
I helped pull it off.

Virginia's a nice girl, yes,
but not for me.

Nick, if I wanted Virginia,

do you suppose I'd let Hugo
get away with it?

You know me, Nick.
I take nothing from nobody.

Biff, if we don't hurry,
why, we'll be late for the show.

Well, then, I don't suppose
there's any chance

to get the four bucks back now,
huh?

Well, Nick...
you see the situation.

Well... Amy's a nicer girl
than Virginia.

How would you like to have
two more bucks?

All right, Nick.
Thanks.

It's all right.

I don't want to spend too much
money on this giggler anyhow.

In Greece,
they got plenty words for you.

Well, nice to have met you.

Sisters!

Good night.

When he climbs into
that sleeper,

- I hope he breaks both his legs.
- Oh, Biff, that's not nice.

And I bet you knew about it
all the time, too.

I tried to tell you.

What'd you come here for?
To laugh at me?

Oh, Biff.

And I don't want
any of your sympathy either.

You were right, Amy.

- About what?
- You were absolutely right.

About what?

You hit the nail
right on the head.

Marriage is a lot of malarkey.

You meet a girl,
you treat her nicely,

behave respectably,
and watch your language,

and what does she do?

Runs off and marries
another guy.

You were right.
What is marriage?

Fella meets a girl
and they like each other,

and why shouldn't they...

You mean...

Yes.
Call a spade a spade.

A spade a spade!

Now, I like you, and...

...you like me a little,
don't you?

Oh, yes, I do, Biff, but...

Well, then, why not?
I mean...

Let me go.

Let me go!

Let me go!

Well, what is this?
What's the idea?

I've never been so insulted
in my life.

Well, then, what was
all the fancy talk about?

A girl has a right to talk,
hasn't she?

But you said your mother
was an original Bloomer Girl.

Oh, no, she wasn't.
My father wouldn't let her.

But she admired
and respected them.

Ah! I bet your aunt
wasn't even on the stage.

She was so.
In the church play!

I bet you're an all-around fake.

Bet you never even smoked
a cigarette.

Put them in my mouth sometimes,
but I... I never lit them.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

A hundred percent
all-around fake.

Oh, stop crying, will you?

An empty barrel makes
the most noise.

Now, stop cry--
Aw...

Amy.

Amy... don't cry.

Will you turn off
the waterworks?

Never even smoked a cigarette.

Well, now I'll tell you
something.

I never inhale myself.

What do you think of that?
Hmm?

You know, I want to thank you

for the way you helped me out
when Nick was here,

saying we had a date
and everything.

That's all right.

Must be payday.
Schultz's band is in tune.

You know, Amy...
I think you're a very nice kid.

Really a-a very nice kid.

Amy, if I ask you something...
you won't mind?

No.

Sure you won't mind?

Well, I... I don't think so.

Can I be your steady?

Oh.

Do you want to?

Yes.

Ohh.

All right.

Well, then I can call on you?
I mean, at your house.

Oh.

Well, Biff, I...

I'd like for you to,
but, you see...

Oh, I know, I know.

My reputation.

Oh, no. It's not yours.
It's...

It's your father's.

Well... Well, then I can meet you
here a couple of nights a week

and take you out.

Yes.

But not tonight, though, huh?

I really don't feel like it.

Oh.
I understand, Biff.

But, uh, I can walk you home.

Thank you.

Well, uh,
then it's understood, huh?

I mean...
we've got an understanding.

Yes.

But, uh, no more
of this smoking business,

uh, lit or no lit.

All right.

And no more of this, uh, bloomer
and free everything stuff.

- I won't stand for any of that.
- No more.

That's the way I'm constituted.

Oh.

Biff... would you like
to kiss me?

I hope he stands too close
to the falls,

gets his feet wet,
and catches a good cold.

That's what I hope.

These look kind of rough
to you, Amy?

Well, um, a little.

For a guy who's gonna graduate
in a month,

not such a good job, huh?

Oh, I think it's cute.
It -- It looks kind of tigerish.

Maybe I can get
the dental rights at the zoo.

Pop knows a couple
of Tammany men.

Oh, as soon as I get
my first paying client,

I'm gonna quit that milk route.

Those hours.

I wish you'd do it now.

Delivering milk all night
and studying all afternoon.

Oh, it's only another month.

I'd have quit long ago

if that horse didn't have
such interesting teeth.

You know what we ought to do
tonight?

Hmm?

We really ought to go
to some swell place for dinner.

Yeah?
Why?

Well, it's
a kind of anniversary.

A year and a half ago,
we were married.

Well, what do you know
about that?

I bet you wouldn't
have remembered.

Oh, Biff Grimes is too busy
to be bothered with fractions.

How about a kiss and a half
anyway?

In about 20 minutes,
when I'm through here.

You don't have to
come over here.

I'll come over there to you.

All right, then.

Come in.

Hello, Nick.

Phew!
What a day.

Why not you don't have
a telephone?

Next month, we'll have
every modern convenience.

Won't have to go
outside for a thing.

- Won't you sit down, Nick?
- Got no time.

Biff, your old man is in a fight
down in big Joe's saloon.

I think you better
go down there.

- Who was winning when you left?
- Who you think?

I'll get my hat.

Biff, just because you go to get
your father out of a fight

is no reason for you
to get into one.

- Now, you know me, Amy.
- I certainly do.

I'll have a leech ready.

Anniversary.

Stay out of here
and don't come back anymore!

Why...

Well, it's me teeth responsible
for me troublesome disposition.

- Come on.
- No. I don't want to go home.

- I've had plenty of rest.
- I should say you have.

You were out for almost an hour.

Why do you have to pick on
three of them?

A paltry three.

Biff, me boy, at Gettysburg,
your father,

who never took nothing
from nobody,

took on a whole battalion.

Of course,
I didn't do well there, too,

but that was when me teeth
first started bothering me.

- I better take you to my place.
- No, no.

Son, you know the kind of a man
I am.

Take me to Mrs. Mulcahey's.
Her husband's working overtime.

Oh, Biff!

Oh.

Spruce up, Pop.
It's Virginia.

Oh.

Biff Grimes!
After all these years!

Hello, Virginia.
Gosh. You look wonderful.

Oh, Biff.

But you!

Is that another black eye
or the same one?

Oh, no.
It's a fresh one.

Biff, you're incorrigible.

I guess so.

Well, uh, what are you doing
around here?

Oh, I don't forget my old
neighborhood and my old friends

just because Hugo's doing
so well.

By the way, where's Amy?
What's happened to her?

Oh, nothing much.
She married me.

Oh.

Only after I turned her down.

Oh, excuse me.
This is my dad.

Uh, Mrs. Barnstead.

I'm very happy to know you,
Mr. Grimes.

I would so like to see
you and Amy again.

I'm sure Hugo would, too.

What about tonight?

Oh, I'm so sorry,
but I can't make it tonight.

Those dull dinners
the mayor gives.

But tomorrow night.

Why don't you and Amy
have dinner with us?

- I don't know. Uh --
- Oh, it'll be lots of fun.

There's a new dish the Italian
immigrants just brought over.

Spag-- Spaghetti,
I think it's called.

We have a new chef who makes it.

Please, Biff.

Well, I'll try to talk Amy
into it --

Wonderful!

Eight sharp, then --
18 Gramercy Park South.

Now, can I drop you someplace?

Oh, no, thanks.
I'm taking the uptown trolley.

Well, I only live a few blocks
from here.

Step in, Mr. Grimes.

Thank you kindly.

Give my love to Amy.
Till tomorrow night.

Uh, bye.

Biff hasn't got a brain
in his head.

I haven't any room for him
in my organization.

You needn't sound
so important.

Besides, you owe Biff something.

Yeah?

What makes you so interested
in Biff all of a sudden?

Amy was one of
my best girlfriends,

and obviously they're not doing
so well.

Yes. Obviously Biff
is still nice-looking.

Oh, you make me tired.

Why don't you pick your mind up
out of the gutter?

Why should I?
You helped put it there.

Honey, why can't you be nice
to me once in a while?

Oh, I often think about it.

Then I remember we're married,
so why bother?

You're so clever, Hugo.

You could find some use for Biff
if you tried.

Yeah. All right.
I'll try.

Say, I've got just the spot for
a guy who ain't none too bright.

What?

Vice president.

Thanks, dear.

There's one chandelier
like that in this town,

and that one's it!

Cost me a small fortune, too.

And these chairs, they were
ordered for a millionaire,

but I offered the firm more,
so now you're sitting in them.

These are all hand paintings
by an Italian master.

Uh...
Giovanni Bagigaloop Califano.

He's quite a fella over there.

By the way, when we were
in London, we heard Caruso.

He's got a mighty fine voice --

that is, if you can understand
the language.

I just can't get over
that electric light.

Isn't it dangerous?

Oh, not if you pay the bills.

Well, my father
and his father before him

got along all right
with gaslight.

Yeah.

Virginia, I think
that's the most beautiful dress

I've ever seen.

They do have lovely things
in Paris.

I wanted to buy every dress
there.

Well, I thought you did, dear.

Your dress is beautiful,
too, dear.

Oh!
Don't you recognize it?

I made it over
from that old blue one

you used to like so much.

Oh, I do wish I could make
my own clothes.

Well, next Saturday, you go down
to Siegel and Cooper's

and get the best dress
they have.

That'll be nice.

Get two or three.

Yes, dear.

Anything the French can do,
we can do better.

I know I must sound awful saying
everything is so wonderful,

but I've never tasted
such delicious soup.

- What is it?
- Terrapin.

Had it shipped specially
from Baltimore.

Well, that was silly.

We should've gone down there
to eat it.

Ah!
This must be the spaghetti.

Spaghetti a la Giuseppe.

Well, what...

Where did I get the idea
it'd look like steak?

You've got to hand it
to these Italians

when it comes to cooking.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Anything they can cook,
we can cook better.

I don't know
what's gotten into him.

He never cared one way
or the other about foreigners.

Now, everybody,
when you get your spaghetti,

you take your fork and spoon
and mix the stuff up plenty

so that the sauce goes
all the way through it.

Oh, yes, dear.

Well, Biff, my boy,

this is not entirely
a social visit, you know.

After all,
when a man has risen suddenly --

and, if I may say so,
spectacularly --

to business prominence --

Before he tells you
the story of his life,

I'd better break the news
to you.

Hugo told me tonight...

Biff, he wants to take you into
the firm with him.

What?
Are you serious?

Well, after all,
we grew up together.

I promised you once
I'd take care of you, didn't I?

Well, I'm not the sort of a man
who forgets his friends.

Now, as to the spaghetti,

you wind it around your fork
and press it against your spoon.

Well, uh -- uh, Hugo,
I don't know what to say.

I've -- I've, uh, been studying
to be a dentist all these years,

and...

Well, all those letters
I've read.

Where are you going to get
pulling teeth?

Listen.
I've got a couple of firms.

I plan to make you an executive
of one of them.

An executive!

Hugo, I'm not getting anyplace
with this spaghetti.

Well, maybe it's
the other way around.

Maybe you wrap it around
your spoon

and press it against your fork.

At first, it wouldn't pay
any more than you're making now,

but after six months,
when you've caught on

to the business...

Oh!
Oop!

It's all right, dear.

I've got a lapful.

Hugo, I-I don't --
I don't know how to thank you.

All I can say is I'll try.

Oh!

It's alive!

Look, dear, why don't we confess
to Giuseppe

that we don't know how to eat
spaghetti and ask him how?

You know what a snob
Giuseppe is.

He'll quit!

Well, maybe if we show it
we're not afraid of it

and look it right in the eye...

Oh, come on now, everybody.

It's really very simple.

You just wrap your spoon
around your fork

and make sure there
are no loose ends.

Now, come on. Let's try.

It's nothing.

I-It's really, uh...
Uh...

Oh!

- Hey, what --
- What's happening?

Oh, you never can trust
these newfangled contraptions.

What do you suppose it is, Biff?

Must be a fuse.

Yeah. Well, I got some matches.

I'll light some candles
or something.

Hey, Jenkins,
get me some matches.

Got some over here.

Oh, I told Tom Edison
it would never work.

Can I help you?

I had some matches around here.

I don't know where I put them.

I'm sorry this had to happen.

Oh, we had a lovely time anyway.

Well, I certainly enjoyed the
ham and eggs you made, Virginia.

Well, see you at the office
tomorrow, eh, Biff?

Hugo, I can hardly believe it.
Uh, thanks again.

- Yes.
- Goodbye.

Oh, uh...

Must have, uh,
crawled into my pocket.

Yes. They certainly do
get around, don't they?

I'm afraid to look
under my collar.

Well, good night, Amy.
Good night, Biff.

Good night, Hugo.

- Good night, Biff.
- Good night, Virginia.

Good night.

I can't get over it.

This morning, I was a milkman,

next month,
I was going to be a dentist,

and tomorrow, I'm an executive.

And in a little while,

we'll be able to import soup
from Baltimore, won't we, Biff?

You bet.

When we get to London,
we'll hear Caruso sing.

If he can sing for them,
he can sing for us.

You know, that was very romantic

the way you threw your arms
around my neck and kissed me.

Me? When?

When the lights went out.

That wasn't me, Biff.

It wasn't?

Well, it wasn't Giuseppe.

I don't like these.
Get me a new set.

Is that contract on my desk?

Yes, sir.

Oh, uh, Mr. Reed, have the
afternoon papers come in yet?

Not yet, Mr. Grimes.

Well, I... I guess I'll have to
read this one all over again.

Ah!
Sign these, will you, Biff?

- What's in them?
- Oh, nothing important.

Just specifications.

Oh, Hugo,
for the past six months,

all I've done is sign papers
I don't understand.

I'm supposed to be an executive,

and I spend the whole day
reading newspapers.

Look at my desk.
Not even a letter on it.

All right.

I'll have Mr. Reed put fresh
letters on it every morning.

I've got to get something more
to do, Hugo.

- I'm going crazy.
- What are you complaining about?

You've got a nice office.

Your father's foreman
of one of our jobs.

You're learning the business.

Pretty soon now,

you'll be able to understand
what you're signing.

In the meantime, I've got to run
over to the club for lunch.

I'll have some more papers
for you to sign this afternoon.

Do you mind if after I finish
reading the afternoon papers

I run down to Pop's job
and watch him work?

Not at all. Not at all.
That's a good idea.

Oh, Mr. Barnstead.

Hey.
Give us that hammer.

Scamper up above there and see
if them timbers are up there.

Hello, Pop.

Biffy...

see that Mrs. Mulcahey
and the others

don't take it too hard.

Oh, what kind of talk is this
out of you?

You're not dying.

The heck I ain't.

Say, the boys in the barbershop
are laying 3-1

you'll pull through.

I'd take it.

Oh, you know how it is
with us, Pop.

We don't take nothing
from nobody,

especially a brick wall.

Biff?

Yes?

It's very funny.

My teeth don't hurt anymore.

Well, maybe it's kind of
lonesome in here for you.

We, uh, might have you moved
over to the women's ward.

A man with your influence
in Tammany, you know?

Look here, Treadway.
You're our attorney.

What are we paying you for?
You can get us out of this.

What can I do?

The building department
checkup shows

that inferior materials
were used

in direct violation of the law.

D.A.'s acting on it now.

Well, I didn't know what was in
those specifications.

Hugo just brought them in,
and... I just signed them.

Well, I didn't know
what was in them either.

What do I know
about such things?

All I knew --
It was a few cents cheaper.

Of course your skirts are clean,
Barnstead.

Technically, you're not
an officer in this corporation.

They can't do a thing to you.

Ah.
Is that so?

Now, just a minute.

Does that mean that I'm left
holding the bag again?

Oh, no.
No, no, no, Biff.

There's -- There's always a way
out of these things.

We'll do everything we can.
Won't we, Treadway?

I'm afraid there's very little
we can do.

Only a few months
till election.

The D.A.'s got to get
convictions.

Just a minute.

All my life,
you've been stepping on me,

and I've been taking it.

Biff, do you think I wanted
that wall to cave in?

Do you think I planned it
that way?

Why, I'm just as broken up
about this as you are.

I don't know what you wanted.
All I know is --

Grimes in?

We're from the precinct
across the street.

Got a warrant
from the D.A.'s office.

Biff knows us.
Just tell him Mat and Charlie.

I'm afraid he isn't in.

Well, I'm afraid he is.
We'll take a look around.

Amy?

Amy!

Amy?

You're gonna come along quietly,
aren't you, Biff?

Hello, Mat.
Hello, Charlie.

Biff, you ran away from us
at the office.

Please don't try it again.

What do you want?

I'm sorry.
We got to arrest you.

Oh, no, you don't.
I had nothing to do with that.

And you're not going to hold me
responsible for it.

If you want me...
you try and take me.

Oh, come on, Biff.
We're --

Well...

Well, it's, uh, very nice of you
to come up here, Mat,

and I certainly appreciate it.

Hello, Amy.

And I'd be very happy to accept
your offer as long as you --

What's the matter?

Why, nothing's the matter.
Nothing.

I was just telling Charlie here
that...

Oh, you know Charlie Brown
and, uh, Mat Hughes.

- Hello.
- How are you?

The police department
is holding a clambake --

That is, it's giving a clambake
down at Coney Island

next Wednesday.

Or is it Thursday?

And, uh, they've asked me
to act on the committee,

and I was just telling them
that...

That's awfully nice.

Yeah, isn't it?

Well, uh, do you boys want me
to go down there now

and, uh, start making
the arrangements?

Yes.
That might be a good thing.

All right.

Uh... I'll be back
in a little while, Amy.

All right, Biff.

You'll wait for me?

I'll wait.

Biff!

Biff!

Aah!
Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Grimes, you're wonderful.

I've always been mortally afraid
of that drilling,

but under your hands,
I didn't feel a thing.

Thank you, Warden.

I can hardly believe
you're only a student.

Well, I'm expecting my diploma
almost any day now.

- Open a little wider, please.
- Mm-hmm.

I, uh, I guess that'll be enough
for today.

You know, a man of your ability
doesn't belong in prison.

I think I'll speak
to the governor about a pardon.

Would you?

Yeah. Makes quite a nice
little hole, doesn't it?

Hey.
What the...

Why, you fool.
You idiot!

No wonder I didn't feel
anything.

You drilled right through
my bridge!

Well, remember, Warden,
I'm only a student.

Get out of here, you!
Get back to your cell!

That bridge cost me $100!

Well, this isn't gonna spoil it
for the pardon, is it?

Pardon? I'm going to put you
in solitary confinement!

Throw him into the dungeon!

Well, if you need me, Warden,
you know where to find me.

Why, you...

You think Biff like the idea

you move back
to the old neighborhood?

He didn't say.

He never said very much
in his letters.

It's a funny thing why he don't
want nobody should meet him

to the train.

I can understand.

He'll have to pass by this way.

I'd rather meet him here.

Well, I go.

Two is company.
Three is too much.

Tell Biff I give him
his first haircut and shave

for nothing, free.

I will, Nick.
Thanks.

But for the shampoo,
he have to pay!

Hello, Amy.

Biff.

Yep.
It's me.

I, uh...

I was going right over
to the house.

Uh, I didn't want anybody to
come to the station to meet me.

I know.

You know...

...I knew you'd be here.

I don't know how.
I just knew it.

I got out at 12:00.

The warden was a grand guy.

Shook hands with me
and wished me all kinds of luck.

Amy... are you glad to see me?

You know I am, Biff.

Good to see you.

And good to be back.

Five years.

Seems more like 10.

Oh.

Biff.

Amy, I want to thank you...

...for all your goodness
and kindness.

Amy, you all right?

I'm all right.

It's just... seeing you again.

I learned an awful lot
while I was away.

You know, Amy, there's
an awful lot of good in people

if you just look for it.

Trouble is,
we don't look for it.

We just go through life saying,
"I'm all right,

and the other fellow
is all wrong."

I know, Biff.

Of course you know.

You've always known.

Schultz?

What is that they're playing?
Something new, isn't it?

"Let the Rest of the World
Go By."

"Let the Rest of the World
Go By."

We'll have to let
this neighborhood go by, Amy.

All right with you?

Wherever you go... I'll go, Biff.

Something worthwhile is going to
happen for Biff Grimes.

Biff Grimes is going to be
Biff Grimes.

I know it.

Nothing going to be too good
for him and his family.

Nothing.

Amy... I love you.

I think you're the loveliest
lady in the whole world.

I love your hair,
your eyes...

I love you, too, Biff.

Biff, the door.
He's here.

Show him in, Nick.
I'll take care of him.

Now, Biff, keep your temper.

Hugo's an alderman, a big man.

Has money, position, everything.

And look at me.

Look at me.

Show him in, Nick.

Why do these things have
to happen on Sunday of all days?

Will you stop whining
down my neck?

If it isn't one thing with you,
it's another.

Now, listen, Virgie.

You can talk to me in our home
any way you want.

- When we're in a stranger's --
- Aw, shut up!

Who are you telling to shut up?
I'd like t--

Biff Grimes?

Hello, Hugo.

I... I had no idea
that you were the dentist.

I did.

You mean you let me come in here
deliberately?

I have to have some excitement
in my life, don't I?

Hello, Biff.

Say, don't nobody say hello
to me, Nick Pappalas?

Remember, you used to walk
past my barbershop.

I'm one of the boys
who whistled.

And today, after eight years
with this specimen,

I'd have to do the whistling.
Hm.

I used to walk blocks
out of my way

just to pass the barbershop

to give the boys a chance
to whistle.

You never whistled,
did you, Biff?

No.
I had too much respect for you.

Sure.
Any other girl pass by...

...he whistle
right with the rest of us.

Remember our first date
in the park?

You and Hugo couldn't stop
the horse.

It's -- It's a funny thing.
My toothache's all gone.

There's no pain at all.

Well, goodbye, Biff.
It's nice to have seen you.

Come, dear.
We must get back.

Get into that chair.

Your tooth hurts,
and you know it.

Listen, I ought to know
whether my tooth hurts or not.

I'm not gonna have you
whimpering like a sick puppy

- all night.
- Oh.

Excuse me a second.
Uh, I'll get my jacket.

Uh, take your time, Biff.
There's no hurry.

- Still married to Amy, Biff?
- Yep.

- So she stuck to you.
- Sure, she did.

Good for her.

Well, look at me.

I stuck to Hugo.

Mother, Mother, Mother.
Pin a rose on me.

You still look
in pretty good shape.

Look at the wreck
of the Hesperus I married.

Do you think it's only
his teeth?

He's only got one kidney, and
his liver's on its last legs.

Every doctor in town knows him
better than I do.

And in the bargain,
he's a hypochondriac.

Sits up all night thinking up
new diseases to catch.

Well, I'm not a well man.

Uh, this isn't going to hurt,
is it, Biff?

- I can't guarantee anything.
- Yeah?

Well, I... I think it
would be best if I took gas.

Just as you like, Hugo.

You know, Biff, I meant to
go up there to see you,

to sort of explain things.

Nothing for you to explain.

Well, I-I didn't do
anything wrong.

I mean, my conscience is clear,
but if an apology would fix --

Look, Hugo, why don't you
just forget the whole thing?

You mean
there's no hard feelings?

Not anymore.
Not a bit of it.

- You really mean that?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, say, that's awful big
of you, Biff.

Look, Hugo, before I give you
the gas, which tooth is it?

There.
That one right there.

- Uh, a little wider, huh?
- Ah.

Aah! Aah!
Aah!

Oh!

Aah! Oh!

What's the idea?!
I wanted gas!

I haven't got anything
against you anymore, Hugo,

but I wouldn't be quite human if
I didn't take a little revenge.

Oh! Aah!
Aah!

How much do I owe you?

You don't owe me anything.

- What's that?
- You don't owe me anything.

I don't understand.

He doesn't understand.

Well, goodbye, Biff.

I'd like to stay and see Amy,

but I wouldn't like her
to see us.

Nick, tell the boys I'm not the
Virginia Brush they whistled at.

I still don't understand.

You don't understand.

Well, when we get home,

I'll explain the whole thing
to you with blocks.

Oh, when are you
going to stop heckling?

When you stop breathing.

For heaven's sakes.
I never...

Did he holler!

I didn't dare give him gas,
Nick.

The temptation was too great.

You sure let him off easy.

- I was the one who got off easy.
- Huh?

I might have been the one
to marry Virginia.

Ah.
Funny thing, Nick.

What?

Me and Hugo.

All my life, he's been stepping
all over me.

I'm the dope.
He's the wise guy.

He has everything.
I have nothing.

But I just realized it.

I'm a happy man.
He's not.

Whew!

Exactly.
Whew!

You remember what we learned
in Sunday school?

"The vengeance is mine,
saith the Lord."

You think He takes
a personal interest in Hugo?

I don't know who is doing it,

but whoever it is
is doing a very good job.

Better than I could do.

Yeah.
I'd better go home now.

- Congranulations, Biff.
- Thanks, Nick.

You know, if I married Virginia,
she would turn out different.

Really?

A woman with 17 kids
got no time to nag.

Oh, Nick. You going?

- Yes. I go home now.
- Come back soon.

Thank you very much.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Did I hear a patient?

Mm-hmm.
A quick one.

From the yell I heard, I don't
think he'll be coming back.

I don't think so either.

- You ready to go out?
- Yeah.

Get your hat.

- Amy...
- What's the matter, Biff?

You know, I think you're
very sweet and very beautiful,

and I love you very much.

Oh, Biff.
Do you feel all right?

I feel wonderful,
and I haven't had a drink,

but I haven't told you this
often enough.

Do you know what you mean to me?

That's not "The Band Played On."

No, it isn't.

What do they want to
do that for?

I love that song.

I'll bet those college boobs
made them change it.

Uh, you go get my hat, and I'll
be out in front in a minute.

- Now, Biff!
- No. Just one minute.

Hey, you!
"The Band Played On"!

What's the matter now?

I want "The Band Played On."

Oh, you do?
Well, we're tired of it.

I want to tell you something.
I'm awful tired of you.

Oh.
Tired of all of us?

Every single one of you.

- Stop!
- Oh!

Let's see.
What was I telling you?

Aw, Amy.

Look at you!

Oh, you mean this?
Oh, that's nothing.

You ought to see
the other fellow.

Listen.

Biff.

Mm.
Now, let me see.

Uh, what was I starting
to tell you?

I got something to tell you.

Hmm?

You mean...

Exactly.

Oh, Hugo!

Hugo!

Biff, right out here
on the street!

When I want to kiss my wife,

I'll kiss her any time,
any place, anywhere.

That's the kind of a hairpin
I am.