All language subtitles for Kiff.S01E56.Kiff.Escape.720p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track1_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[Helen] Brought to you by Partials Department Store.

Never pay full price for a crop top.

[♪ tranquil music plays]

Good morning, Principal Secretary. I...

Helen, I'm setting a boundary.

This is me time.

I'm just here to let you know

I'll be taking a personal day today.

Sweepy can sub for me.

No, no, he can't. No personal day.

You've used all your PTO, and it's January!

But there's a sale at Partials!

You know what's never on sale, Helen?

A good education.

I don't care for you.

[Kiff] I know! It's not there!

Those jerks at the escape room told me I had to be 16!

16? But that's like four to seven years from now!

I feel old enough to escape.

Honestly, we'd be even better at an escape room

than a grownup would.

Yeah, we can totally find clues.

We can fit through tiny hidden passageways.

We can read Morse code.

Uh, that's just you, Reggie.

[Helen] Ahem! Children!

I can create an escape room for you.

- Really? - Of course!

Uh, in fact, that's the assignment for today.

It's a... character exercise.

Act like characters who are trapped in a room.

[all cheering]

[Helen] Okay, all, have fun! Bye!

[Kiff] Okay! Ha, ha, ha!

All right, let's get escaping. Who are you?

I think he's here to help us if we get stuck.

Eh, we won't need him.

Sir, don't help us unless we're really stuck, okay?

[newspaper rustles]

Everyone, look for clues.

[♪ soft piano music playing]

[♪ soft piano music continues]

Ooh, hey! Look what I found!

Nah, Bar. It's never that simple.

[door opens]

- Oh. - Huh. Anticlimactic.

[hinges squeak]

[♪ dramatic music plays]

[Kiff] Where are we?

Ahem.

[♪ fanfare plays]

[♪ contemplative music plays]

[clears throat loudly]

Hey, it's Helen's Computer Gremlin!

Let me just close this stock photo.

[exertion grunts]

Ta-da!

You're inside Helen's computer.

[♪ ominous musical stings]

[sadly] We're gonna live out

the rest of our lives in a computer!

Eh, probably how my life was gonna go anyway.

Okay, everyone relax!

We'll get out.

We'd be great at escaping, remember?

[computer chimes]

Hey, an email! What does it say?

"One-Day-Only Sale at Partials.

Never pay full price for a crop top."

Whoa, Trev, you can read backwards?

Yeah, self-taught.

You just woke up one day and said,

"Hey, I'm gonna learn to read backwards"?

What else would I do with my time?

That email's got a star next to it.

[♪ musical ring]

Uh-oh.

Am I delusional, or did Helen trap us

so she could go to Partials?

[Gremlin] Yes.

This is a nightmare!

Okay, Computer Gremlin, how do we get out?

[♪ lively music plays]

Helen has to enter her password, and then you can get out.

How... how come you can do...?

[laughs] Sorry, kid. It's a Computer Gremlin thing.

[♪ lively music plays]

Could you type in the password for us?

You said I was only supposed to help you

if you get really stuck.

[muttering] I know that's what I said.

Leg up.

Okay, just have to figure out Helen's password, then.

[rustling]

[rustling continues]

Ahem. Renée, do you mind?

Ah, but I love the noise it makes. Just listen!

[rustling]

- Ooh! - Wow!

People! Shh! I'm trying to think!

[♪ soft instrumental music playing]

[♪ musical sting]

- [wind blows] - [mysterious voice] Helen!

It calls to me.

[Helen panting excitedly]

Let go of my crop top, Michaela Oats.

[whinnies]

Hey! Why aren't you in school?

You're a student!

Why aren't you in school? You're a teacher.

[♪ ominous music plays]

[fabric stretching]

[flames roaring]

[♪ ominous music continues]

Ugh. I don't know what her password is.

Why don't you try whatever's in that folder

marked "Password Hint"?

Reggie, why didn't you tell me that earlier?

You told us to "Shh."

[unamused chuckle] Okay.

[Renée] How is that a hint?

Oh, uh, try "Helen is pretty."

[loud plunk]

Helen... Helen is hot.

[all] Eww!

[loud plunk]

- Helen is... fetching? - [Kiff typing]

[loud plunk]

[chime]

"Did you authorize use of your Bank of Table Town debit card

for 900 nuts on crop tops at Partials?"

Oh, this happens to me all the time.

You have to say yes, or they freeze your card.

[Kiff] Wait, wait! Push no

so Helen will have to come back and let us out.

[chime]

"Thank you. Your card will be

reported stolen immediately."

Is there a problem, or...?

[Helen cries out] Hands off me!

My crop tops! Not my... Not my crop tops!

[♪ soft instrumental music]

[Michaela] Help!

[chime]

[♪ tranquil music playing]

[whistle-chirp]

Trevor, what does it say?

Helen just Tooted out,

"I'm being held in mall jail indefinitely.

#FreeHelen."

Let me out!

[whistle-chirp]

Now she's re-Tooting her own Toot.

- Cringe. - Dang it!

We're never getting out of here.

[blaring]

"Your computer is at 5% battery

and will shut down soon."

What does that mean for us?

When Helen's computer shuts off, you all get rebooted

and you'll lose all your memories.

What?

It's not so bad.

I've been wiped 347 times.

[meditative hum]

You just gotta go with the flow.

- Why are you minimizing this? - We're doomed!

What do we do?

- [panting] - Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

[panicked shouts]

[rustling]

[gasps]

[panicked shouts]

Wait, wait! Calm down!

I have a plan. I'm gonna go up there

and send an email to P.S. He'll come get us out.

- But how? - [Kiff] Renée...

Way ahead of you, boss.

[♪ lively music plays]

Children. Stuck. In. My. Computer.

I. Did. It.

Come. Save. Us.

Computer. Dying.

[♪ lively music playing]

Attached.

And... send!

[computer chimes]

Ugh.

[whoosh]

Means it wasn't delivered.

He never reads emails from Helen.

You're telling us this now?

Ugh, fine. Computer Gremlin, we are really stuck.

Please help.

Honey, I know stuck, and you ain't it.

No, we are! We're really stuck!

No, you're really gonna lose all your memory.

It's a huge difference.

[♪ tranquil note plays]

- Let's eat him. - What is wrong with you?

Trevor! You little freak!

[♪ ominous note plays]

I guess this is why there's age restrictions

for escape rooms.

It's been nice knowing you all.

Sorry I couldn't get us out of here.

[sniffles] You did your best, Kiff.

Thanks, buddy. Everyone gave it their all.

Candle, it's great you know all that credit card stuff.

Reggie, our editor, the invisible art.

Trevor, so cool you can read backwards.

Ugh. I practiced for three months using a mirror.

Three months, huh? Oh.

Renée, you...

Wait a minute. Using a mirror?

[gasps] The picture of Helen looking in the mirror!

Helen backwards! [gasps]

Trevor! What is "Helen" backwards?

Neleh!

[♪ lively music plays]

[all shouting]

Kiff, you did it! You got us out of there!

We all did it! Ha, ha, ha!

That was the best escape room ever!

[celebratory shouts]

You-you really think I can pull this off?

Oh, honey, I don't think, I know.

You're killing it!

[closing theme music playing]

Chirp.

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