Original subtitles

[opening theme music playing]

♪ Kiff ♪

♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪

♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪

♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪

♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪

♪ Kiff ♪

♪ Kiff! ♪

[giggles]

[both laugh]

[announcer] Brought to you by We Won Trophy Cases.

For winners!

[Kiff] Look at all these cool clubs, Barry.

Wow.

[gasps] "Discuss"!

Huh? "On the sports field"?

Oh, yeah. Fresh air is great for discussing.

[quirky music playing]

- This is the Discuss Club? - It sure is.

Never heard it pronounced that way, though.

Uh, do I discuss while holding this, or...

- It's a discus. - Discuss.

- Discus. - Dis... cuss.

"Dis-kiss."

It's a sport from the ancient world.

- Oh. - Oh.

Okay, sorry for the misunderstanding, P.S.

Kiff! The discus!

Oh, yeah.

[triumphant theme playing]

Never seen such perfect form.

Look at this trophy case.

- [snoring] - It is all case.

This is why we need you, Kiff.

What about Barry?

We'll find something for Barry.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

[both grunt] Ow.

Now, a lot of athletes get

something called performance anxiety.

It's when they get all in their heads about--

[sonic boom]

Bring me "The Heavy One."

[sporty theme playing]

She's a natural.

[Barry grunts]

[laughs]

- [marching band playing] - [Kiff] Wow.

Our first track meet.

Who would have thought, Bar?

Us! Sports!

- Whoo! Yeah! - [laughs]

[blows whistle]

[yells, groans]

I'm more of a pole vaulter, anyway.

[whistle blows]

Never mind.

[pole vaulter lands]

[grumbles]

[marching band ends]

[triumphant music playing]

[cheering]

Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

- Whoo! - Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

- Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! - All right, this is me.

Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

[whispering] Kiff. Kiff.

Kiff. Kiff. Kiff. Kiff.

Our very first trophy.

It's perfect. Almost.

[hopeful theme playing]

[whistles] Look at that. Mmm.

[peppy music playing]

[camera shutter clicking]

[camera shutters click]

[cheering]

I know you're all excited for the big track meet this Friday.

- [cheering] - [Kiff grumbles]

But remember, your book reports are due that day, too.

- [all groan] - [Kiff] Whoo!

- [school bell rings] - Pep rally!

[cheering]

All right, listen up, everybody.

On Friday, our worthy opponents will...

eat our dust!

[cheering]

You remember our rivals, Tuft Pierre.

- Boo! - Boo!

- Yes, boo them! - Boo.

They always take home the big trophy,

but not anymore.

Because we have a secret weapon.

And her name is Kiff!

[cheering]

- Yeah! - Hooray!

For once, that huge trophy is coming home with us

to live in our brand-new...

trophy case!

- Ooh! - Ooh!

I spent half the school budget

on this state-of-the-art trophy case,

hand-crafted from luxurious mahogany.

- Wow! - Whoo-hoo!

- Half the school budget? - [cheers]

- Yeah! - Mahogany!

That's right, mahogany.

And I spent the other half on this.

- [cheering] - Yeah!

- Go, Kiff! - [cheering]

Yeah way!

[kid] That's her!

[school bell rings]

Okay, everyone.

Time to hand in those book reports.

[trembling]

What?

[tense theme playing]

[slow-motion] Book report.

I was so busy with sports, I never even cracked the book.

Oh, that's fine, Kiff.

You can have an "A" anyway.

What? Why?

Well, you're a jock now.

Principal Secretary said just keep throwing those Frisbees,

and you'll never have to write a book report again.

- [sighs] - [yells]

Oh, you can leave whenever you feel like, too!

You cannot.

- [glass squeaks] - Stop!

I can't do it, P.S.

I just can't! I'm never throwing that discus again!

What? Why?

Why didn't you make a statue of me

for that insane plant diagram I did last month, huh?

What? No one cares about that.

How can you do this to me?

How can you do this to the trophy case?

- The big track meet is today! - I quit.

Mm, counteroffer.

You don't quit, and you get more "A's."

I don't want "A's" I don't earn.

"B's," then!

-"B"-pluses? - [door slams]

- [marching band playing] - [cheering]

Let's go, Tables.

♪ Ha ch-ch-ch-cha ♪

[cheering]

- [helicopter thrumming] - [screams]

[ominous music playing]

Okay, party people. First up, we have the javelin.

Yeah!

Uh...

Need a little more practice?

[chuckles]

Ouch! Tuft Pierre in the lead, ahead by one.

[military music playing]

- [snorts] - [whistle trills]

[neighs]

Ooh! Look at those legs. Not good, eh?

- [cheering] - Yeah!

Ahh...

- [laughing] - [Mr. Ripeppa] Pfft.

[commentator] Pretty much how I thought that would go. Yee-yee-yee.

[military music playing]

Uhh. Agh!

- Oh, yay! - Yeah!

Yes! The warthog girl... what's-her-name.

Yes. Renée.

[peppy music playing]

[whistle trills]

[horn blows]

It's come down to discus,

as usual, and we have...

Barry.

[patting a beat]

[quirky music playing]

- Maybe there is a chance. - A star is falling from the sky!

- [rumbling] - That's not a star!

It's a person!

[intimidating music playing]

Our appropriately aged discus champion.

[laughter]

Ta-ta, Table Townies.

This guy hasn't been a kid in years.

[joints pop]

- Oh, yeah! - Huzzah!

Whoa. This person involved in a children's track meet

has quite the throwing arm.

[cheering]

Boo! Boo! Boo!

- Helen, I don't usually call on-- - Say no more.

[drums playing]

[clap]

♪ Who's got the goods To win it all? ♪

- ♪ You know who ♪ - ♪ We know who ♪

♪ Who's got the chops To take the call? ♪

- ♪ You know who ♪ - ♪ We know who ♪

♪ Who's got the fire Burning hot? ♪

- ♪ You know who ♪ - ♪ We know who ♪

♪ Who's got the fight? Who can't be stopped? ♪

- ♪ You know who ♪ - ♪ Yes, we know who! ♪

♪ They say it takes A lot of team spirit ♪

♪ Dig deep If you wanna win it ♪

♪ Come together And work as a team ♪

♪ They say Don't take your eyes ♪

♪ Off that sweet prize ♪

♪ Stick together To reach your dream ♪

♪ They say you need A lot of attitude ♪

♪ They say you need To stand strong ♪

♪ They say you need A lot of heart ♪

♪ Well, they're all wrong! ♪

You just need a lot of Helen.

♪ Helen! Helen! Helen! Helen! ♪

♪ What? What? What? What? ♪

♪ Helen! Helen! Helen! Helen! ♪

♪ What? What? What? ♪

Whoa there, Helens. That's quite enough. Shoo. Shoo now.

- [jabbering] - Begone with you all.

Put me in, Coach. Put me in.

- Hah! Hah! Hah! - [sighs]

Ooh, I've seen this in the movies.

It's the moment when that one kid who stinks at everything

surprises everyone and saves the day, eh?

[grunts] Heh. I can't pick it up.

What's happening? Are we conceding?

Please, Kiff.

Kiff?

I want an "F" on that book report.

Yes. Yes.

[triumphant theme playing]

One last time.

[theme music playing]

♪ Kiff ♪

[cheering]

...big barrel...

♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪

♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪

[cheering]

Oh! Table Town School takes the victory!

An unprecedented win over Tuft Pierre!

Whoa!

[marching band playing]

[squawks]

Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!

- Kiff-- - No. I walk on the ground now.

[triumphant music playing]

All trophy.