Original subtitles

(door closes)

Councilman Wade stated that he was acting in self-defense...

Why don't you just turn the sound off?

Figure you're going to get your dose of Mr. Wade at the office?

I felt I had no other choice but to--

The only other choice is Sesame Street, Furillo.

Well, let's see what Big Bird is up to.

-(knocking on door) -It's Sid!

It's open.

Norm, what happened?

Huh, what does it look like?

Oh, no, it's true?

Teddy Falco clipped your finger?

-It's true. -Oh, jeez,

-but they reattached it? -Yeah.

Where'd you go, County?

-(mutters) Mercy. -I don't even believe it.

I'm down at Jerry's Coffee half-hour ago,

Sal Feruggi, a little guy with all the hair,

says to me, "Your cop got his finger clipped."

I said, "Excuse me, Sal, my cop? Do you mind explaining that to me?"

He says to me, "Your cop, Sid. I mean, who are you kidding?

Everybody knows you snitch for Lieutenant Buntz."

I say, "Oh, really? Well, forgive me, Sally.

I happen to be the one person who doesn't know that."

-Hey, uh, give me a hand here, will you? -Sure.

Anyways, Sal's talking to Nicky Myrtle.

Nicky Myrtle happens to be at the Empire Expresso, 3:00 this morning.

He says he hears Teddy Falco clipped Lieutenant Buntz's finger.

-Give me a hand with my jacket. -Sure.

-Anyways-- -Take it easy, now, all right?

Slow, Norm, slow.

-Here, here. Here. -All right.

Ow. Ow. Okay.

Anyways, I say, "Forgive me, Sally.

The reason I can't believe your story

is that it doesn't end with "So, then, Lieutenant Buntz

uses Teddy Falco to repave the Dekker Projects,"

but now I get here, I look, I see it's true.

Sid, please, huh?

-Does it hurt a lot? -Yes.

Looks like it would.

What are you looking for, your keys? Where do you usually keep them?

Don't help me, Sid, all right?

Will you leave my stuff alone? Go on and get out of here.

-Can you drive? -Yes, I can drive.

It's an automatic. I can handle it. Just go on. Go on. Get out.

Oh. Oh.

Well, excuse the hell out of me for caring, Norm.

-(drawer slams) -Oh, Norm!

WOMAN (on radio): Dispatch. We have a 9-11.

Armed robbery in progress.

See Surplus Store, corner People's Drive and 124th Street.

(sirens wailing)

(theme music playing)

I'm just a country boy, Frank.

To me a war against crack sounds like something

a police department might be able to get behind.

A guy who's making it go sounds like

someone I'd have wanted to be in harness with,

but not us, right, Frank?

"Councilman Shoots Drug Dealer In Van Buren Corridor."

How are we positioned?

"Police investigate shooting."

That's our job, Chief. Where there's a shooting, we investigate.

You're an alchemist, Furillo.

You convert Bill Wade

from this department's ally into its blood enemy.

And now, poof! You want to turn him into a martyr.

By some accounts, the man Wade shot was running away from him.

-By some accounts he wasn't. -You mean the councilman's press aid?

I mean a reputable citizen

who's given a sworn corroborative statement--

Which Detectives LaRue and Washington duly recorded.

They've just about finished their casework.

Washington recognized another possible witness running away from the scene

whose statement they're trying to get.

The DA will then decide how to proceed.

Just us chickens, Frank.

You know there isn't a chance in hell for the DA to prosecute Wade.

-That'll be his decision. -Sorry.

Had this lunatic idea that we might be a little forthcoming,

use this to, uh, build a few bridges.

Bill, you all right?

It's no picnic being treated like a criminal,

but, yes, I'm all right.

Is he really all right?

Bill's a fighter.

Of course, it takes its toll.

The captain has promised to clear things up

as expeditiously as possible.

I want the councilman to be given every consideration, Frank.

Damn heroic. Damn brave.

I remembered a few more things about last night, Captain,

as soon as I sat down, cleared my head.

You have a right to add to your statement.

-He can amend? -He can add to.

His original statement remains on the record.

The result ought to be you exonerate me from any wrongdoing.

We don't exonerate anybody around here, Councilman.

We just turn over our findings to the district attorney.

Captain, when was the last time someone threatened your life,

and you could see in his eyes he was about to blow you away?

Because that's what happened to me last night.

I know your position is that you shot in self-defense.

With a registered firearm to save my life.

It isn't a position. It's what happened. I was there.

I'm a big boy, Councilman.

Whatever the factual circumstances when you shot that dealer last night,

I know there's little chance of you being charged.

You just let us finish our jobs.

Then you can do what you want about capitalizing on the results.

Neal, JD.

Councilman wants to add to his statement.

Whatever you say, Captain, but all he's gonna do is shine us on.

Yeah, Captain, why don't we just go find the last witness?

-Mouse? -Yeah, we bring in Mouse,

Wade and Mars dispute his statement, DA declines prosecution,

and we go on to something useful.

Then go find your witness after you take the councilman's statement.

Councilman.

You want to add to your statement, too?

Not necessary.

Paul Winchell and Jerry Mahoney.

How you doin', Sister?

Wonderful, Detective LaRue.

-Good morning. -Sister.

-Good morning, Sister. -Good morning, Patrick.

Are you ready to help St. Cecilia's find its outreach center?

Let's do it.

Officers.

What's wrong with that picture, huh?

Two-eleven, ladies.

What are you looking at, Sarge?

I was just noticing that despite her habit and piety,

Sister Chastity has retained Grace Gardner's carriage and gait.

You noticed that, huh?

Well, it's a distinctively feminine sort of fluidity of movement.

Could we have the call slip, Sarge?

Oh, of course. Sorry.

Now, let me get this straight, Councilman.

You're saying that the man you shot, Angel,

whispered these words in your ear, "I got a gun in my pocket.

If you don't give me your money, I'm gonna blow a hole in your stomach"?

That's correct, Detective.

Is it possible he also might have told you the caliber of the gun, Councilman?

Like, uh, did he say anything like, uh,

"I got a .44 magnum pistol in my pocket"?

Very humorous.

Look, Detective, could both you and Mr. Mars excuse us for a second?

Detective, perhaps I seem rude or overbearing sometimes,

and I'm sorry about that,

but this is a-a deeply trying experience for me.

I understand that it must be.

-It's kind of crazy, actually. -What is, Councilman?

We're both on the same side here. We shouldn't be adversaries.

Now, I'm telling you the truth about what happened, so help me,

and as someone who was there,

I plead with you to search your own recollection carefully.

Now, you say you didn't see the shooting incident itself?

-That's right. -Are you absolutely sure?

You didn't see that man whisper in my ear?

You didn't see him gesture towards his pocket?

I mean, I've remembered things overnight

I didn't recall in the immediate aftermath.

Can't say I remembered anything more overnight, Councilman.

All right.

I'm sorry about that.

-Captain. -FRANK: Norm.

I heard you lost a finger.

Uh, that shylock Falco.

(clears throat) Then I had another accident this morning.

Will you have use of it?

I don't know. I gotta go in for more sewing.

Look, why don't you take the day?

I mean, we can postpone on your loan shark busts.

I'd rather work, Captain.

I can get the warrants ready while I'm at the ER.

-When did we schedule the arrests? -4:00.

Falco was the last guy we were getting evidence on.

We're moving in on all five of these creeps.

-And who's handling the Falco arrests? -Me.

Oh, no, wait a minute. Norm, I don't think that's such a hot idea.

Captain, the bastard cut my finger off.

Look, suppose he falls and chips a tooth

-while you were bringing him in. -Captain, listen--

Norm, you have history with him. Could look like payback.

Captain, I'm no dope.

I understand this pop's gonna be under a microscope.

I just want the satisfaction of taking him in.

Fragile on the package, Norm.

Fragile on the package.

You know, even if he had a heart attack, I'd be inclined to be suspicious.

Hey, Captain, acts of God, we draw the line, right?

Mm, man.

Rules, the car is approaching.

As soon as you are sure that he is pulling into the lot,

you punch in the time ticket.

Extra minute means an extra half-hour charge.

I understand.

All right, you're handing the driver his ticket,

"How long you gonna be, sir?"

The full days you put in the back.

That way you can park the short stays in front of them.

-You with me so far? -I'm with you.

Attitude. I don't like any hot shots.

Don't show me how good you are.

My best employees are invisible.

-The guys I never have to look at. -Fine.

All right, last, but most important. Are you ready?

-I'm ready. -The seventh floor is off-limits.

-What's on the seventh floor? -Excuse me?

You said the seventh floor was off limits.

What am I doing right now?

-Now? -I'm looking at you.

That means you're not being invisible!

-I just wondered-- -Don't wonder! Disappear! Park!

(horn honks)

-Come on, pops. Up and at 'em. -♪ Just a gigolo ♪

Yeah, you know where the men's shelter is, right?

Over on Sheffield?

I know. I thank you, Officer.

-Hello, Sis. -Hello.

-Sister Chastity? -Yes.

Yeah, Jay Pickle, Salter Realty. Don't arrest her, Officer.

She's our first nibble since the property came on the market.

(chuckles) Come on.

No dog and pony pitch, Sister. The place more or less speaks for itself.

You could say that.

Look, I have clients waiting at another listing.

Take your time. If I'm not back when you want to leave,

-just lock the door behind you. -Thank you, Mr. Pickle.

Here, call if you have any questions.

And, Sister, if you can come up even 20 percent,

I can show you some listings don't need a thing

except maybe a new coat of paint.

Thank you.

Well, I think this place has definite possibilities,

don't you, Patrick?

Guess it's in the eye of the beholder, Sister.

MAN: Got some change?

You know, we could make the reception area there,

and then divide the rest of the place into counseling rooms.

It'll take a little elbow grease.

I'm going to get the neighborhood children to help me.

We're going to sanctify this place...

-MAN: Please, don't hurt me. -...with our own hands.

Help! Help!

Police officer!

Yeah, I'm okay.

You okay, Mr. Pickle?

I just need a change of underwear.

Sorry, Sister.

I would have liked a chance to talk to that man.

-Would you come back, please? -(laughs)

Sister, that-- that lease figure in the listings...

-Yes? -Yeah, cut it in half.

Oh, how generous of you.

Just call me when you want to sign the papers, okay? Thanks.

You don't want to sign a complaint, Mr. Pickle?

I just want to get out of here with my life.

Oh, my goodness! Oh!

What's that for?

For lowering my rent.

Car.

Toes. Definitely toes.

You all right, cowboy?

Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking the best place for old Buntz

to start on that loan shark is in the toe area.

Toe is highly underrated. You lop off a couple of toes,

a guy just falls flat right down on his face.

-Hey, wait a minute. -You-you mean

if a guy chopped off your finger, you'd hack his toes?

Yeah. No, no.

No, I don't know, but I'd have to do some damage to his anatomy.

-Over here, Andy. -I don't know what you're talking about!

You know what I'm talking about.

You took my case, kid, and I want it!

The case that was in the car! Now what are you doing in my car?

I don't know nothing about the case!

(overlapping chatter)

-Okay, okay. -I didn't take it!

What's the problem here?

Hi, Officer. I'm Al Sanderson. I'm a shirt salesman.

I work very hard for my money.

My partner and I, we, uh, we parked our car over here.

I went across the street to have some breakfast.

When I came back, this, uh, this gentleman was sitting in my car.

My sample case was missing.

I was just listening to the radio.

If I took his case, why would I be sitting in the car?

Because you already stashed it already!

You're gonna be selling it sometime tonight on the street corner!

Al's just a little excitable, that's all.

-And what is your name, sir? -Joel Hirschman. I work with Al.

Hey, look here, sir. Do you think he stole it?

No, I don't believe he did.

He was in the car, yeah. You see, the kid's my cousin.

Now, he used to have a record, used to have a drug problem,

but he's been working out fine here.

Look, if he's your cousin, tell him to give me my case back,

and we'll let it go at that.

Now, he says he did not take it. Do you want to proffer charges?

No, I don't want to proffer charges! All I want is my case back!

Look, Officer, if I proffer charges,

I'm gonna be tied up all day with this, uh...

Okay. I get it.

You want to shake me down? Okay, you did it.

Now, here. Here. Here's 50 bucks.

Now, go out and buy yourself some reefer or whatever it is you people do.

Get that man away from me. I'll cut him. I swear I'll cut him!

Take this money, okay? I just want my case.

Look, sir, you got two choices:

you either come with us or you drop the whole thing.

Oh, for cryin' out loud. Do you know what this is gonna cost me?

-I don't care what it's gonna cost you. -Do you want me to come along?

-No! -No!

-I didn't take it! -Let's go. Let's go. Let's go!

(horn honks, tires squeal)

Hey, give me the keys to that Olds over there.

-What Olds? -The gray one in the back.

-Where you taking it? -What are you, writing a book?

If the owner comes back,

I want to be able to tell him where his car is.

Look, this is an all-day parker, right?

-Right. -Right.

So by the time the guy comes for his car,

I'll have it right back where you parked it,

all wrapped up and ready to go.

I guess it's not my place to ask what's going on.

You got it.

I bet it's going to the seventh floor.

You know what you want to do, smart stuff?

You want to relax, enjoy the quiet.

About five minutes, it's gonna be the lunch-hour rush,

and you won't have time to ask anybody any questions.

NEAL: Gotta get Mouse, lover. Let's head over there.

-There, J.D., it's him. -(siren wails)

Where the hell did he go, Neal?

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey, lookit here.

Well, look, Neal. We trapped a Mouse. Come on.

Let me go, man!

Interesting. Very unusual.

Your friend Mr. Merkur had a very distinctive style.

But?

But out of control and too elitist.

Where's the audience?

You're the expert. You tell me.

All right, I will. Read this.

Out loud, okay?

"Hill Street Cop: Life in America's Roughest Precinct.

By Henry Goldblume."

You gotta be kidding. I'm no writer.

No one's asking you to be Harold Robbins, Lieutenant.

Look, I saw you on TV.

You were earnest, sincere, yet tough when you had to be.

A very appealing package, and I bet you have the stories.

Yeah, well, that I do have.

So, take the recorder.

Call me anytime you like.

We'll work together on this. What do you say?

I'll think about it.

I'm gonna call that other listing.

I want to see everything within our range before I sign any papers.

Wait a minute. You won't take yes for an answer, will you, Sister?

I mean, that Mr. Pickle offered you that place we saw before for a song.

Well, if you can arrange for a mugger to appear,

perhaps we can get another discount.

(both chuckle)

(imitates chuckle)

You gonna make another mugger appear?

Give me a break.

What's going on, Flaherty?

What do you mean?

-Between you and Sister Chastity. -She's my assignment.

You don't find it a little unusual

that she gives you so much personal attention?

Come on. She told me I'm her project,

and that she's gonna bring me back to the fold.

Oh, the fold. Now, what fold would that be?

The church.

Sarge, what are you trying to say, hmm?

Do you think Sister Chastity's on the make?

I don't know. No.

I mean, 'cause I can't even believe

that you're suggesting the possibility that this could...

I don't know what I'm suggesting, okay?

I just find the whole thing a little weird.

Join the club.

I'm heading back over to the hospital. The damn thing's hanging on by a thread.

Oh, you don't wanna linger over that.

-Here, your warrants. -Yeah.

I'm gonna hand these out over at the hospital,

so, uh, send the detectives over when they get here, all right.

I understand.

(reporters talking indistinctly)

I have called this press conference

in the very bowels of the whale, Hill Street precinct,

to reclaim my good name.

Are you saying that the police are trying to smear you, Councilman?

I'm saying they're certainly dragging their feet

on what was clearly a case of self-defense.

I was attempting to dramatize the deplorable condition

which exists in the Van Buren corridor,

which is by no means the only sector of our city

which is run by crack dealers and other violent hoodlums.

I was threatened, and I responded appropriately.

-You want me to stop this? -No, let him have his say.

I have fully cooperated with Captain Furillo and his men,

and yet they persist in this, uh, witch hunt.

Do you think Captain Furillo is conducting a-a personal vendetta

because you publicly criticized his stand on the drug issue?

Regretfully, I would have to answer yes to that.

Furthermore, I find it ironic, highly ironic,

that the chief investigating detective, one Neal Washington,

has himself a history of codeine dependence.

If you need proof, I have his personnel records right here.

That's all, Councilman.

That's a reckless and irresponsible statement.

REPORTER: Well, is it true, Captain?

Do you deny that your detective has a drug problem?

Neal Washington is totally fit for duty.

Do you know that for a fact?

Isn't it possible he was under the influence of drugs last night,

that his entire account of what happened should be stricken from the records?

I already answered that. This news conference is over.

Sergeant, would you like to escort these people out, please?

Where is Detective Washington?

-Out doing his job. -You can't ignore this, Captain.

HOWARD: All right, you have your statement, gentlemen, ladies.

Thank you very, very...

Where did you get that information?

-That's my business. -Wrong.

Those are confidential police records you obtained illegally,

-which makes it my business. -Good day, Captain.

You know, all you had to do was wait a little while,

and you could have walked away from all this,

but you just couldn't, could you?

You're Detective Mazzeo, right, from Polk?

-Right. -Here's your warrant for Longo.

Remember, we process him at Hill Street precinct.

That goes for every shylock we bust today.

Here, you get McGuire.

That leaves Falco, who's mine.

Uh, look, Lieutenant, I can take Falco for you if you want.

I mean, considering your surgery and all.

I'll manage.

Okay, these busts represent three months' work.

No screw-ups. All right?

Good luck. Yeah.

Norm, you seen the doctor yet?

Yeah, but I decided to stick around 'cause I love the food so much.

No, I haven't seen the doc yet, pea brain.

Good. Good.

Good? How would you like a little of this throbbing, Sid?

First off, I want to apologize again for causing this latest duress.

I'm touched.

You see, you're still angry, Norm. I understand. That's perfectly normal.

But maybe what happened this morning

is gonna end up being a blessing in disguise.

Maybe I'm gonna let you live if you get out of here right now, Sid.

Norm, you're very upset. You're extremely uncomfortable.

I'll tell you what I'd like you to do.

Relax. Clear your head 'cause I have a very serious question

-of a financial nature. -Sid.

Are you sure you want your finger restitched?

You got three seconds to beat it.

$50,000, standard compensation loss of limb.

Norm, you pull out the stitches, the tip falls off.

Who is going to know? It's a lock.

Three, two, one. Out. Come on.

Fifty Gs minimum.

With a good attorney, we're talking possible retirement.

Time's up, Sid. Come on, listen, I got an idea.

This money is so good,

why don't we chop off three of your fingers, all right?

Hey, you're in a very violent mood. I'd check your medication.

Go on.

(telephone ringing)

Sat in the car, turned on the radio, smoked a cigarette.

-You never saw the sample case at all? -No.

Your cousin tells me you're doing a pretty good job at the parking lot, Mark.

You don't want to do

-anything stupid, man. -I know.

Okay, I guess that's all.

Stay out of other people's cars.

Right.

Now, what does it take to get out of here?

Now, listen to me, you insult my intelligence,

and then you cost me my livelihood.

RENKO: Please keep your voice down to a decent level.

-Thank you. -Now what?

We took Mr. Lewis' statement. If we need him, we know where to find him.

Perfect. You two guys are gems, you know that?

First you waste my entire day,

then you take this, uh, this thief's word over mine.

Al! Al!

-What are you doing here? -I found it.

-Found what? -Your samples.

You left your case at the motel.

AL: What are you, crazy? I turned that room upside down.

It wasn't in the room, Al.

They found it later at the checkout counter.

You must have forgotten it. It's an easy mistake.

BOBBY: My, my, my.

Mr. Sanderson, I think you owe this man an apology.

(sighs) Yeah, well, here. Here's 50 bucks.

Excuse me.

That's beautiful, huh, Joel?

I offer to make it right, and the kid cops an attitude.

It's typical.

You got your case back.

Why don't you go sell some shirts?

Al, let's go.

Got a witness in the Wade shooting, Sergeant.

I need an interrogation room.

A is open. The captain wants to see you, Detective.

Yes, Chief, sure I'll call you, as soon as I have anything to report.

Found the witness, Captain. J.D.'s got him in interrogation.

Good work, Neal.

Look, somehow, Councilman Wade got a copy of your personnel record.

He's gone public with your

-codeine problem. -What?

He implied you might have been on codeine last night,

that it could have impaired your judgement.

Captain, I've been clean for two years.

If you want, I'll even take a urinalysis test right now.

That won't be necessary.

-You want me off the case? -Absolutely not.

Man, I can't believe this.

I thought that whole thing was behind me.

-How'd Wade get ahold of my records? -We don't know that yet.

It's gotta be somebody in the station, doesn't it?

It looks that way.

Neal, is there anybody who would have reason to do this to you?

Can't think of anybody, Captain.

Kinda makes you wonder who your friends are, huh?

Well, we're gonna find out who did it.

Meantime, if you want to take a few days--

Uh-uh, J.D.'s waiting for me in interrogation, Captain.

Last night, Mouse, remember?

Last night?

Yeah. Night.

You know, when it gets all dark outside.

Oh, scary.

You were in the corridor.

-You saw Councilman Wade and Angel, right? -Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I-I remember that.

(laughing) Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, I can, man.

Like, um, Angel...

he was levitating maybe two or three inches above the ground.

And Councilman Wade, he wants to float up there, too.

But he can't do it.

He can't get himself free from gravity.

Man, white dudes got no liftoff power.

-Calls for you, Detective. -Thanks, Doris.

-Witness have anything to say? -Not about this planet, Captain.

No way we can put him on the stand.

-Three reporters called, J.D. -Forget them, Neal.

It looks bad if I don't talk to them. Looks bad either way.

The parasites will be onto something else

-by tomorrow. -Yeah, right.

Melvin started updating the files this morning.

Under normal circumstances, I would applaud his initiative,

but given the events of the day--

Captain. Captain.

I heard you found the other dealer from last night.

You've done enough damage, Councilman. I'm telling you right now, go home.

If the man's made incriminating statements,

we've got a right to know.

Hey, man, you had no right to go digging in my files!

-Easy, Neal. -You wouldn't have done that

if I had changed my report.

-We're gonna nail you, you bastard. -Come on.

And you claim that this detective can be an impartial investigator?

Get out of here, Councilman. Now.

The man threatened me.

-Get your boss out of here. -Let's go, Bill.

WOMAN: Excuse me.

Get Melvin. Bring him into interrogation B.

Oh, Phil...

I never dreamed the feelings could be so... strong.

-(door opens and closes) -(sighs)

There you are.

Ready to go, Sister?

In a moment, Patrick.

(coughs)

What are you doing down here?

Remembering.

Remembering.

And connecting with something

that's been building up inside me for two days.

It's clear to me now, Patrick, that...

there was a hidden design in my returning here

and in you becoming my liaison.

I couldn't see it for what it was until this morning.

When I felt the warmth of your hard, brave body against mine.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, Sister.

It's been a test to see if I could complete my novitiate year.

-You can do it, Sister. -No.

You were sent to show me

that I'm still too much of this world.

The lure of the flesh is too strong, Patrick.

(sighs deeply)

Oh, the bond is there.

-Can you deny it? -You're a nun.

His will be done.

No.

I understand how this could have happened, Melvin.

There'd been a request to cooperate with Councilman Wade,

and you may have felt turning over Washington's file

was just another instance of that sort of cooperation.

Captain, I promise you it wasn't me!

Mm. I suppose if we believe that, Melvin,

next you'll be trying to sell us some Florida swampland.

Melvin, the only thing left for you to decide

is how this is going to end.

I mean, either you can cooperate by incriminating Wade,

or you can keep on lying.

That's the only choice you have left.

It's your call, Melvin.

Why don't you smarten up?

Okay.

Okay.

Let's use Neal and J.D. for surveillance.

I'll notify.

We, uh, formed a pretty potent interrogation duo there,

didn't we, Captain?

Fit him with a wire, Howard.

I want my car, and I want it now!

-All right, I'm on it, lady. -It shouldn't be allowed.

That lady should be required to have a license.

Her assertiveness marathon

was nothing more than an exercise in sadism.

I was never so humiliated in my life.

And those people,

no wonder they want assertiveness training.

They just sat there and took it. Can you believe it?

Ah!

-My keys aren't there. -I know.

Don't tell me something happened to my car.

Just calm down, lady.

I'm gonna be right back.

-(machinery whirring) -(indistinct chattering)

Hey, what did I tell you?

The most important rule is to never come up to this floor.

Lady came in for her Porsche.

So why didn't you use the intercom? I would have brought the car down to you.

That way, you wouldn't have seen a thing.

Look, you guys want to drop a good engine,

put in a clunker, ain't no skin off my nose.

-I don't care how you make a buck. -I got enough partners.

Hold it! Police officer, you're under arrest.

Drop it! Get down!

You too, down!

(engine turns over, tires squeal)

This is Belker. I got a code 37, red Porsche,

Sullivan and Dekker license number A-N-Q-251.

Driver possibly armed. Get up.

I didn't see that, right? That was not my car.

It belonged to someone else, the car that went out of here.

Lady, please.

You don't have a gun in your hand.

-This is not happening to me. -I'm a police officer.

Which means my car really was stolen.

I got the license-plate number. I put it out on the radio.

I guarantee you the man will be apprehended.

It better not come back dented!

FALCO: Maybe I should chop off his ear this time.

He don't hear too good anyway.

I'll go in in my cover. They're both packing.

It'll make it easier to get the drop on them.

MCGUIRE: This guy's not only stupid, but ugly, too.

When do I go in, sir?

When I yell, "You're under arrest."

FALCO: He told you he had the money?

-MCGUIRE: He said he already had it. -(knock on door)

Mr. Falco. Mr. McGuire.

You don't learn, do you?

I'm late. I know. I'm sorry.

I think this is what you're waiting for.

-How's the finger, Mr. Manes? -What, this here?

It's about to be a whole lot better.

What the hell is going on here? This is paper.

Oh, jeez, well, you must be popped then.

You must be under arrest!

Eat the floor! Eat it!

Oh, you're a cop?

Yeah, you got that right, pal.

How's that meat cleaver, Teddy, huh?

You serve up any chipped beef today?

Listen, do me a favor, would you?

You do the honors on Mr. Falco there.

I lay hands on him,

I might like to snap his neck like a Thanksgiving gobbler.

Hey, listen, I'll tell you the truth, Officer,

and if Teddy's honest, he'll verify it.

The other day, what he did to your finger, it made me sick.

-I mean, it made me sick to my stomach. -Yeah, yeah, you're a real saint, McGuire.

You hear what I'm saying, Teddy?

I'd turn that freakin' mug of yours into lemon meringue,

except I'd wind up in the jackpot.

Now, I'm gonna have to just get my jollies from watching you get a double sawbuck.

Yeah, but someone had to be about the violence though--

-What are you doing, kid? -My cuffs.

Watch it!

-MCGUIRE: Please don't shoot me! Hey! -Shut up, McGuire! You okay, kid?

I'm okay.

Look at this. Look at this!

This moron went and made me kill him.

Now, I'm gonna get all jammed up on account of this.

-MCGUIRE: Don't snuff me out. -McGuire, shut up! Shut up!

What's the problem? I'll tell you what the problem is.

Furillo is coming down hard on anybody who even walks by the files.

-But guess who's taking the most heat? -WAITRESS: There you go, two coffees.

He had me in interrogation.

You ever been in interrogation?

You've been true to the firm, haven't you, Melvin?

Yeah, sure, but I need to take a little vacation.

I'm gonna need tickets.

A whole new wardrobe for the sun.

Calm down, Melvin.

-We've all gotta stay collected. -Easy for you to say.

I need more money right now.

We might be able to arrange another...

-$200, say? -A thousand.

A little grandiose for a petty thief, aren't we, Melvin?

-I'll tell him everything. -I don't think so.

Five-hundred.

-Six. -Five. Take it or leave it.

Councilman Wade needs to be assured that this buys

total silence regarding Detective Washington.

Police, Mr. Mars. You're busted, sucker.

-Come on, let's go, chump. -Did I do all right?

Yeah, you did great.

-What? -What?

-Don't take it out on me. -What?

Every time something happens like today, you take it out on me.

-Don't-- -Renko, just knock it off,

-all right? -No, you don't talk to me,

I'm not gonna talk to you, okay?

-Good. -Okay.

Why won't you talk to me?

Why won't you talk to me?

-I love it. -What?

I call that lewd public display by both parties. (chuckles)

-Is that whose car I think it is? -I sure hope so.

You take the passenger's side, Andy.

If it's that salesman, we're gonna put his loudmouth butt away.

I can explain, Officer.

You lose your sample case again, Mr. Sanderson?

Bobbing for apples again, Cherie? I'm afraid we're gonna have

-to take you in. -She entrapped me.

That's a joke.

Look, how about we be a little reasonable about this, Officer?

Oh, we intend to be, Mr. Sanderson.

Mr. Sanderson, would you step out of the car, please, sir?

You're under arrest.

CHASTITY: Patrick.

I just want to talk with you for a moment.

I'm leaving. I wanted you to know.

Obviously, I can't complete my work here.

At least we provided the order with a cut-rate lease.

(chuckles softly)

I know one of the other sisters will carry on.

I realize that what happened today was a great shock to you.

I misjudged the situation. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Don't condemn me, Patrick.

Regardless of the circumstances, we're two people who made a connection,

however briefly.

And that's something to be cherished.

(sighs deeply)

so, uh, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I have a lot of thinking ahead of me...

But I'll come up with something.

Well, I wish you, uh, luck.

I think you have a lot of good qualities...

Just maybe you shouldn't be a nun.

(chuckles)

Thank you.

-Goodbye, Patrick. -Goodbye.

(door opens and closes)

WOMAN 1: Move on! Move on right through here.

WOMAN 2: Hill Street, can I help you? Yes?

I've seen the Porsche in impound.

Not a scratch on it.

We got the owner five blocks from the garage.

-They said you'd give me a release form. -Ah.

Detective Belker, I have a confession to make.

When I saw my car fly out of that garage,

a wave of emotion passed over me, the like of which I've not felt in years.

-Adrenaline. -Excitement.

And when you came down the ramp with a gun

and told me who you were, every part of me tingled.

The old me would have kept it inside, but I know now.

I have to take the chance.

(growls)

(gasps)

My God!

You're a level-four assertive.

-(growls loudly) -(barks)

-Good work, Neal, J.D. -Thanks, Captain.

You won't make this stick.

Oh, I think we will.

We have a signed statement from the khaki officer you bribed

and from your assistant, Mr. Mars.

My lawyers will be here soon. I don't have to say a thing.

But he will.

You've been out to hang me from the beginning, Captain.

You hanged yourself, Councilman.

Hey, liaison.

Hey, you got a minute, Lucy?

-Yeah. -Catch you later.

Bye.

-So, what's up? -You busy tonight?

Oh, you mean Sister Chastity's dance card is filled up?

-That's very funny. (chuckles) -Thank you.

It just so happens the assignment is over, and I'll be riding with you tomorrow.

Well, fine.

-Something happened? -No, nothing happened.

She just gotta do some other work for a while.

Oh, good.

Is there gonna an answer here or what?

I figure we get a bite to eat, right?

-Then maybe go see a movie or something. -Like a date?

We'll just relax, go out, have a good time.

Yeah, like a date.

What's the big deal?

Sounds good.

MAN: Right through here, gentlemen.

Here's the file, Captain.

POMEROY: About three and a half years, Lieutenant.

-Officer Martin? -Captain.

BUNTZ: You want to know what this here proves?

POMEROY: Lieutenant, all I want is to get home

while my supper still looks like food.

-You were Lieutenant Buntz's backup? -Yes, sir.

BUNTZ: What it proves, Officer Pomeroy,

is it don't matter how careful you are,

how much you're trying to bring him in in one freakin' piece,

if it's not supposed to happen, you are gonna whack the guy out.

It was my foul-up, sir.

I gave the perpetrator opportunity.

The lieutenant didn't provoke it?

No way, sir. The guy didn't give the lieutenant any choice.

BUNTZ: I'm telling you, Pomeroy.

See? So you might as well do what you wanted to do in the first place.

If it's gonna happen anyway,

you might as well get some freakin' satisfaction out of it.

POMEROY: Oh, for crying out loud.

Look, would someone get this guy under control?

Enough, Lieutenant. Come on.

Hey, all right. I thought he might be a football, you know?

You know, I'm gonna have a little trouble

distinguishing between pre and postmortem trauma.

Hey, God gives us all crosses, Doc, you know?

Norm.

Hey, Captain.

(laughs) You see Mr. Bad News here, huh?

-Yeah, I see him. -(laughing continues)

Captain, right hand to God,

I did everything but lay out a red carpet for this creep here.

Your backup corroborates.

Will SID waive written till tomorrow morning?

You've got it, Captain. Just get him out of here.

Officer Pomeroy, aces guy, huh?

Why don't you go home, Norman?

-Once more for good luck, huh? -Norm! Go home, Norm.

(chuckles) All right, all right.

Sure you don't want me to ride with you guys, huh?

Take Teddy here over to stiff palace, huh?

-Norm. -(chuckles)

Norm.

All right. (sniffles)

(sighs deeply)

Henry Goldblume stares at his pocket tape recorder.

He's feeling like a dope.

"Who am I trying to kid?" He asks himself. "I don't know how to tell stories."

Henry...

stop being a self-conscious jerk.

Detective Cohen walks into the chief's office.

"Cohen! Been reading your report.

First-rate stuff."

It was the chief's heartiest liar's voice.

Cohen knew it meant the task force he'd suggested

wasn't gonna get funded.

"Damn close call on this, Detective."

The chief screwed his features

into a pained, thoughtful expression.

"Damn close...

But I don't think we're gonna be able to get you the money you asked for."

He had to be a smart guy, right?

He's gotta be a tough guy, huh? The stupid punk.

-Couldn't listen to me-- -(knocking on door)

-SID: Norm! -Go away.

-He's gotta listen to-- -(knocking continues)

SID: It's me, Sid. Come on, let me in.

Hey...

I brought you some soup.

Heard about the unfortunate death of Teddy Falco.

He brought it on himself.

Hey, I don't doubt that for one skinny second.

Yeah? Well, try telling them that at my precinct.

What, your captain thinks you looked to get this guy whacked out?

I mean, I practically begged this little germ to come in with me.

All right. So then he brought it down on himself.

-Am I right, Norm? -What was I supposed to do, huh?

How was I supposed to go in there without a piece again,

get the rest of my fingers chopped off?

What did he expect you to do, go in for a pop naked?

Sid, shut up.

You know where I'm going in this department, huh?

-You know where I'm headed? -No, where?

No place. Every time I put one foot in front of the other,

some hump gets eighty-sixed.

And fair or not, you begin to get a reputation.

People begin to see a trend.

Hey, to hell with reputation, to hell with people, and to hell with trends.

I'm talking about career advancement here.

And to tell with career advancements, too.

And will you shut up and stay put and don't move?

(sighs)

I'm going to bed.

(groaning painfully)

-What, you don't want any soup? -No.

Can I say one thing about your finger before I leave?

-No. -A wound like that,

you raise the afflicted area above the region of the heart,

the pain is lowered.

Do that for a while, maybe you'll get a little rest.

What, I gotta do this all night?

What are you talking about? You plump it up with a pillow, elevate it.

-You want me to do it for you? -No, that's all right, I got it.

Right. Good night, Norm.

(door opens and closes)

Thanks.

SID: No problem.

I was sorry I mangled it to begin with.

(closing theme playing)