Original subtitles

NARRATOR: Previously on Hill Street Blues...

(gunshots)

How long you been sitting on him?

We grabbed him the next morning, we figured your captain had the best read.

You bastard. I never even thought to ask you.

I won't forgive you for this.

Lieutenants Calletano and Hunter take their captaincy exams.

-Fourth, Howard. Fourth. -Fourth?

We got some dirty cops in Midtown.

-Is that the guy that bites? -Belker.

I hear he's working that outlet for the clothes--

You writing a book?

I just got off the phone with my law professor,

and he says this urinalysis thing

is in violation of our Fifth Amendment rights.

They test for codeine in those samples, I'm coming up positive.

(gasps) I can't breathe.

-MAN 1: Where's Jablonski? -MAN 2: You all right, Sarge?

Item one, come on, people. Give me a chance!

-(clamoring) -Hey!

All right!

Hey, Sarge, all right!

I got it. Thank you.

All right.

Okay, okay, item one.

Item one, uh... Item one, uh...

Okay, item one, rock houses.

Uh, this is a memo from Division,

with the word, apparently, that the rock houses are moving

to the second and third floor of premises.

(groans)

STAN: Whether Lieutenant Hunter's tank

had anything to do with it or not, it, uh-- it don't say.

Anyway, keep your eyes peeled for upstairs action.

Problem's not gone, just, uh, moved higher up.

Uh, number two, your PBA has completed marathon negotiations with department

this a.m. on this, uh, urinalysis thing.

Uh, they went to bat with a brief prepared by our own Detective Garibaldi.

-WOMAN: Okay, Harry! -(chattering)

All right, the upshot is, um, the following accord.

I'm quoting from the accord.

"No disciplinary action will be taken by Division against any individual

"found in violation of department drug policy

as a result of the urinalysis test."

-(applause) -"However...

"However, results of said tests will be available

"to said personnel's commanding officer

for discretionary counseling as warranted."

What the hell does that mean?

I don't know what that means.

If it was up to Jabo, said personnel would be out on said rear end.

Item three. All right. Item three, assignments.

Dugan continues with LaRue and Washington on wants and warrants

except for this a.m., Neal.

-They want you on Mendoza discovery. -Aw, man.

Also, yeah, Dailey rides with Fisher,

Sergeant Bates is back with Coffey.

I'm back riding the desk.

Um, item four...

Thank you.

Item four, Detective Belker requests a huddle

with Mayo and Garibaldi,

re: a possible backup situation.

Item fi--

Um...

Captain Ralph Saperstein of Division Fraud

expired yesterday, uh, after a brief illness.

Condolences to the family can be sent to, um, Palisades Mortuary.

Details of the memorial service are posted upstairs.

Uh, Hill and Renko, I got a surprise for you.

Grabowski and Marino pulled an all-nighter last night

at the Herr Hotel gas leak.

So you're gonna have to ride with Officer McBear.

-Officer Mac what? -McBear.

He's this new symbol of law enforcement.

He's a 400-pound black bear.

He rides around in a cage with his handler, Mr. Lowenhandler.

You go around, you talk to kids like that.

Does he talk?

Well, he talks in those comic books they got,

but he don't really talk, because he's a bear.

-We got to ride in the car with a bear? -RENKO: In the car with a bear?

You're gonna meet him upstairs. Yeah.

Go upstairs and talk to him. That's it.

Let's go out there. Let's do it to them before they do it to us.

Why do we have to ride in a car with a bear?

Don't they have something,

the bear goes in a cage or something like that?

-So what's the story? You all right? -I'm fine. Don't make a big fuss.

Well, the doctor said you're all right, then, right?

It was angina, which comes and goes on rare occasions,

but which is totally over with for now,

and let's don't make a big deal of it, okay?

-(chattering) -MAN: Let me see the bear!

-Hey, check this out. -Can you believe this?

Look at the size of that thing!

You really need to bring him all the way in?

(in German accent) Officer McBear goes wherever I go.

If I couldn't trust him,

he wouldn't be much of a symbol for law enforcement, now, would he?

Are you the bear trainer?

-Lowenhandler. -Hill and Renko.

He don't bite, do he?

Him? Don't be silly. He's like a pussycat.

-Y'all keep him inside of a cage? -That's right.

You'll have an easy day of it, believe me.

We go wherever. I unload the bear, pass out the funnies.

Then I give the Officer McBear slide show, answer any questions.

All you do is you just stand there and you read the speeches.

They, uh, give a feeling of law-enforcement partnership

between you and Officer McBear.

Isn't he the cutest fella you ever saw?

(laughs)

Did you know that you are the symbol for the Soviet Union?

I'll bet you didn't.

Completely passive creatures,

they've lived in civilization for 300 years.

You want a picture of yourself with him there, Lieutenant?

Oh, I'd be delighted.

Big old bear.

You can get rid of all your nasty old troops in Afghanistan, shouldn't you?

Yes. Yes, you should.

Yes, you should.

-That's a good old bear. -(growling)

-Why's he doing this to him? -(clamoring)

WOMAN (on radio): Dispatch. We have a 9-11.

Armed robbery in progress.

See Surplus Store, corner People's Drive and 124th Street.

(sirens wailing)

(theme music playing)

Sergeant...

-Sergeant, will you stop? -What?

I got better things to do than run down patients

who sneak out of the hospital without telling a nurse.

You told me it was nothing.

I said it was probably angina,

but I also said I wanted you under observation for 24 hours.

Look, I get it from time to time. I live with it, okay?

You're probably right. In fact, I'm almost sure you're right.

I got a stationhouse to run here.

Look, how about you come back in, let me run another enzyme series, another EKG.

Everything checks out, I get you released by tonight, 5:00 p.m.

Nothin' doing.

I got better things to do than sitting around on my butt in a hospital.

Okay, Okay.

-Then sign. -Why?

Released against physician's orders.

I can't be responsible if you're not gonna take my best counsel on this.

I'll probably bury you.

Sergeant, you probably will.

Patsy's telling everybody you're a bum in the sack.

You lie, LaRue.

Yeah, yeah, but my basic premise is correct then, am I right?

Huh? That as of this a.m., you would have knowledge in this area?

-Man, are you obnoxious. -What? What?

Good morning, Leo. Is Detective Belker around?

Right. He's waiting for you.

-You smell a little beary, Howard. -(laughs)

From my encounter with old Klaus, huh?

I rather like the musky scent myself.

It's a pity about Captain Saperstein expiring, huh, Raymundo?

-Yes, it is a terrible shame. -Fifty-two years young.

It does peg you up a notch on the captain's list.

If this is how it would have to be, I'd rather not make captain.

Oh, come on, amigo.

Death or retirement of an existing capitán,

how else are we going to arrive in the promised land?

-Promotion of a captain to commander. -(sighs)

Of course.

Promotion of a captain to one of the six commander slots

in the entire department.

You think it's a big joke, guy dropping dead in the prime of life?

Why don't you go down to the morgue, get yourself some real belly laughs?

Sergeant, you misunderstand. I am heartsick.

Phooey.

Henry.

This one definitely.

Let me go back to this other array.

-This one. -Flynn and Sampson.

I'd prefer to hold the bust, see who else walks in.

No argument, uh...

We have information. I saw a guy walking out of here

who worked with Flynn in Keenan's office five, six years ago.

Phil Dugan.

Yeah, I remember the pairing off the Keenan investigation.

-Probably coincidence. -Let's keep Dugan out of it.

By me, he's a wise guy anyway.

Do it.

Stan, I'll want to see Creighton, O'Connell, and Washington.

-Harry, my office. -Creighton ain't in yet.

Third time in a month that bum's been late.

What's up?

(clears throat)

You tested positive for marijuana, Harry.

Wait a minute. Are you kidding?

Do I look as if I'm kidding?

Trace level of cannabis.

Captain, we just spent 14 hours getting an agreement

that those test results are not gonna be used.

This isn't a legal chess game, Harry. I'm talking to you man to man.

I don't trust a cop who smokes reefer.

You're on notice. If I have cause to question your behavior,

I'm gonna have you transferred.

Fine. I'm not gonna sit still for this.

-(sighs) Neal. -Harry didn't seem too happy.

Um... (clears throat)

-You're positive for codeine, Neal. -Hey, I got a scrip, Captain.

Yeah, but it's not department-issued.

You were taken off the cleared-from-medication lists

18 months ago.

Took myself off, Captain.

The department doc, he wanted to put me on the desk,

so I told him the knee was okay, I didn't need the medication anymore.

Started seeing your own guy.

Mm-hmm.

Neal, do you know what would have happened if you'd been doing this two years ago

when you were officer involved?

I mean, the kind of lawsuit the department and you would have been facing?

Serious numbers.

You can't be taking this behind the department's back.

The knee's worse than it's ever been, Captain.

It's got calcium. It's all arthritic.

If I go to the department docs now,

-I'll be lucky to get a desk. -(knock on door)

Furillo.

It was all within the agreement. I was talking to him man to man.

You in the office?

-Stay there. -(receiver clicks)

We'll talk about this later, okay?

It's okay, Captain. I get the message. I'll work it out.

HENRY: Yes. Yes, I do.

Yeah, well, tell Mr. Greenglass, Esquire

that I'm not authorizing payment of this bill.

That I'm the executor of Miss Scrignoli's estate,

not some Santa Claus for shysters,

and if he's got a problem with that, he can come see me.

So now, boys and girls, you see how it is.

That Officer McBear here has captured the burglar and the dope pusher,

puts them inside of the van and waves goodbye to 'em

'cause they're on their way to Hill Street Station.

So let's all wave goodbye to Officer McBear.

Bye, Officer McBear. Say it with me.

ALL: Goodbye, Officer McBear!

-Bye, Officer McBear. -Bye, Officer McBear!

Read here. "Goodbye, Officer McBear."

Um, goodbye to the pushers and goodbye to the muggers.

And as time has come for Officer McBear to wave goodbye to you, too,

he just wants you to remember these simple rules of safety.

Always cross at the signal and always look both ways.

Never accept a ride from a stranger.

And if a grown-up ever bothers you, tell your parents or tell a policeman.

And, um... um...

(chuckling) ...they'll tell your friend, Officer McBear.

Sing this rest part.

-What? -Sing the next part. Sing it.

Um...

♪ Officer McBear is always there ♪

♪ Give the call McBear, McBear ♪

♪ And let the crooks beware, beware ♪

Thank you, Officer Hill, Officer Renko.

And thank you, boys and girls.

And now if anybody has any questions about our friend Officer McBear,

I'll be happy to answer them.

Yeah. Is that a real bear?

Uh, yeah, it's a real bear.

A grizzly bear?

No, no, it's a black bear.

What kind of bear is he?

(laughter)

Well, he looks like a bear.

Your mama teach you no manners there, pal?

Is he old enough to hit?

And now, if there are no more questions...

(laughter)

Ew, gross!

-(laughter) -(Officer McBear groaning)

Renko, remember what it is that bears do in the woods?

Oh, Lord.

He's getting too old for this.

All right, children, up, up. Follow me. Single line.

He's nearly senile.

Next, it'll be diapers. Then it's no dignity.

Keep the kids away from the bear.

-I'll go get the scooper. -Yeah, sure.

Talk about dignity,

why don't you pass these out, Officer McBear?

(laughs)

I said nothing to Garibaldi about sanctions,

nothing about department or precinct discipline.

You told the man he was on his back, Frank.

You're looking to ship him out. It's against the agreement's spirit.

The agreement you made stinks.

(sighs) The city screwed up, okay?

The city attorney's opinion, we were looking at a lawsuit.

Your man Garibaldi called us on it.

Now, Frank, we don't want to look

like we persecute the whistle-blowers, right?

-Right. -So we leave Garibaldi be, hmm?

Okay.

Oh, while I have you here,

still in the department of the comedy of errors,

someone ran some of these samples.

-Alcohol. -And?

And yours showed trace positive.

The amount was so small, anyone else, I wouldn't have give it a second thought.

Then don't.

Well, must be some new thinking on that.

Didn't that used to be a no-no for fellas with your problem?

Frank, uh, these are all gonna be eighty-sixed.

I just wanted you to see this report gets special handling.

Your report will get the Briscoe special disposal.

Okay.

Okay, Frank?

There's nothing to worry about?

Frank, I don't have to worry

that this is some kind of a trouble signal here?

I have to go, Warren.

Okay. I'll, uh... I'll see you later.

-Got a minute? -Sure.

-I got an idea. -What's that?

Lunch, you and me, tar beach.

The roof, just the two of us.

-People go up there? -We'll lock the door.

Oh, sure, and put on a show

for all the people in the Franklin Arms across the street.

Sounds lovely.

Okay, okay. How 'bout the boiler room?

You're a sick man. Flattering, but I'll have to pass.

-How 'bout lunch? -I can't. I'm waiting on a call, backup.

Is that Belker's thing?

He seems to run on schedules like an airline. You know that.

What's the big deal with him?

Doing some kind of French Connection or something?

Maybe dinner.

Minute, Frank?

You look like I'm supposed to look.

-We okay, Henry? -You and me?

You hid it from me, Frank.

When Gina was killed,

it was like...

my only chance in the world was gone.

And I've been...

bitter and furious...

and unforgiving of everything and everyone

I imagined stood in the way of my revenge.

-Like me. -Like you. But...

There is no revenge, Frank.

Not on Sonny Murdo.

I looked at him yesterday.

The guy's got no more moral sense than the sink.

And no revenge on you.

You did what you thought was right.

-And out of friendship. -I won't agree with that, Frank,

but I know it wasn't out of malice.

So...

I'm okay if you're okay.

(door opens)

Uh, there you are, Lieutenant. Lawyer named Greenglass to see you.

Yeah, I'll see him.

(door closes)

I tell you she made me executor of her will?

Thankless job.

Not too bad. Most of the dough's in a trust for her mother.

Mr. Greenglass.

(raspy voiced) Oh, apologies, Lieutenant.

Lost my voice. I've been yelling at the girls so hard.

-But we got it all straightened out. -Oh, good.

She was billing on the hourly basis.

I say to her, "Ruthie, sweetness,

since when do we bill hours on a $40,000 estate?"

I say to her, "We got Lieutenant Goldblume here,

"a scrupulous and conscientious executor.

Of course he's gonna scream."

I say to her further, "The bulk of the estate is in a trust for the mama."

She says, well, she didn't know. Nobody told her.

I further reminded her, as I pointed out to you, Lieutenant,

the name Scrignoli, among our local IRS personnel,

is often confused with the stigma "tax dodger."

-Meaning? -Meaning tax audits, Lieutenant.

Meaning hours of preparation, hours of argument.

All the time, the meter running. Click, clickity-click.

Pretty soon, it's like total vultures

are eating at the carcass of Mrs. Scrignoli's estate.

-Which is definitely not what we want. -Of course not.

We're charging you where we should have all along

on the standard flat retainer.

Local bar recommends 30 percent to 35 percent.

We take 28 percent.

Twenty-eight percent of $40,000 is over $10,000.

Believe me, it's a big fraction less than the hours.

Look, if this wasn't Paulie's widow, I'd be out of it right now, Lieutenant.

These residual estates are like a crucifixion.

But I do it out of loyalty and friendship.

Twenty-eight percent.

Excuse me, Captain.

I don't know if this means anything,

but I thought I should come to you with it.

What?

Well, it doesn't seem like a lot, but this guy from Midtown, Phil Dugan,

he's been asking me questions about Belker's undercover,

whether... if the operation was after cops.

-What did you tell him? -I said I didn't know.

-Was he persistent? -A little.

I feel funny about this. I-- I like the guy. I went out with him.

But the thing is, I checked with Midtown,

and it seems he was partnered for two years

with a Detective Sampson.

Yeah, that was the guy Belker made yesterday. Where's Dugan now?

-I don't know. He went out. -J.D.?

Listen, take Neal and Harry and find Belker.

Tell him to take whatever we have now today.

-I mean, within an hour. -Right.

Captain, if nothing ever comes of this, if Dugan's not involved...

No reason for him to hear about this conversation at all.

Thank you.

I heard they arrested Gina's killer.

Yeah. Yeah, they did.

I thought about her last night when I heard about the arrest.

I was remembering when we were in the ladies' room just...

She was telling me about how she loved to cook for you.

She was being real sweet, real excited.

In fact, she even gave me this recipe for her bread pudding,

you know, with honey and raisins.

And last night, I was trying to come up

with something different for the kids, something not chocolate.

I remembered her bread pudding.

You know, she had been so clear when she was talking about it,

about describing how to do it

that I just went right in the kitchen and made it.

-It was delicious. -Yeah.

She made it for me a few times.

You feel like having dinner tonight?

No, I don't think...

Yeah.

That'd be good.

I'll make a reservation.

I'm a dangerous man to go to a restaurant with.

I'll take my chances.

-Officer McBear, ladies and gentlemen. -Step back, all right?

-(overlapping chatter) -Here, take a flyer.

Follow Officer McBear's ten tips for a safer, smarter you. Take one.

BOBBY: Sir, step back. All right, everybody, step back.

I thought the bear was supposed to be a symbol

for forest fires, not crime.

He's a symbol to prevent forest fires.

RENKO: He is a new symbol of law enforcement.

Flyer?

Some symbol. He looks pretty stupid in that hat.

You sound pretty stupid.

Why don't you just shut up and leave Mr. McBear alone?

-Just go, all right? -(tires screeching)

-Oh, my God! -Oh, shit.

Are you blind, lady? Look what you just did!

I'm sorry!

This is an official vehicle. Do you know that?

My insurance! You know, I work for a living, lady.

Sir, just step back. Ma'am, license and registration, please.

You had the whole--

-Why did you do that? -Sir, just relax, all right?

-License and registration. -Don't do that to that bear, you jerk!

-(Officer McBear growling) -(man screams)

Oh, my God! He's gonna kill me!

Officer McBear!

(indistinct shouting)

I told you not to mess around with that bear, boy.

(indistinct shouting)

I don't want to have to do this.

-Get back! -(clamoring)

Help me!

One, two... three.

(growling)

-You killed him! -I only shot him in the arm.

Somebody get an ambulance!

(clamoring)

Oh, he mauled my arm! He tried to kill me!

He tried to kill me!

-Somebody get an ambulance! -Officer McBear has to get to surgery.

(siren wailing)

All right, that's $15.

-Did the stain come out of my pantsuit? -You could hardly see it.

Be with you fellas in a second.

Well, y'all didn't do a very good job.

We're dry cleaners, lady, not magicians.

Well, you don't have to be so rude.

Well, you don't have to be such a slob.

You tell Mr. Berman I ain't never gonna come here no more.

Uh, where's the old guy?

He's across the street having lunch.

Well, uh, did he leave something for us?

He said we could come in, pick up some suits.

Mr. Berman said I should give you a fitting.

I got your suits right over here.

-That the flannel pinstripe? -This is it.

-Oh, nice. -Fitting room's right over there.

And we got one right behind it for you, sir.

-Where's that? -Right back there.

-Thanks. -You're welcome.

(door opens, bell rings)

Go!

-Hands up! You're busted! -Hey, occupied.

-It's a bust, huh? -He's got a gun!

(grunting)

-(gunshot) -(Neal screams)

(grunting)

-Damn! Damn! It just hurts. -How bad? How bad?

-You got him? I'm gonna get Neal to Mercy. -I think it just grazed me or something.

What the hell is this? This is crazy.

I thought you guys were trying to rob the place.

-Yeah. -I'm telling you, this is not a crime.

This was an investigation of a crime.

-Listen, man, I'm gonna grab a smoke. -Be right with you, baby.

He's okay, Captain.

Are we leaning on the bastards that shot him?

That's what I understand.

WOMAN (over PA): Dr. Quibachek,

please report to the nurse's station in five west.

Captain...

Codeine tie you up, Detective? Make you constipated?

Not too bad, Doc.

All right, every six hours till the pain goes.

-Thanks, Doc. -How you feel?

It hurts some. It's okay, though.

Long way to go to get a pain scrip, huh, Captain?

Fact is, it'll buy you some time. I hope you'll use it.

I'm willing if the knee is, Captain.

-Why don't you take the rest of the day? -Ain't over with till the paper's in.

Okay, I think we're ready to go.

-You can throw your shirt on. -Okay.

No, ma'am, it's my understanding

that the animal was endangering a man's life

when the officer intervened.

No, the bear is not dead.

Now, you want to call the ASPCA, there's nothing I can do to stop you.

-Captain, how's Neal? -Just grazed.

-Renko shot Officer McBear. -Oh, terrific.

It was on account of the bear mauled a curious citizen.

Plus, we got Flynn in lineup.

Flynn sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

-Come on. -Sampson, however, is a moron.

And the owner's down in garden level having a nervous breakdown.

Detective Flynn, Attorney Griglia, Captain Furillo.

Captain, if we're in a horse race with Sampson,

please know that my client's ready to run.

Let's hear it.

Plead to the "E" felony, await the probation report.

Okay.

Uh, the guy's been boosting

maybe 100-grand designer garments a month

and laying it off to establishments on the Hill.

Uh, we, as a group,

we've been taking small potatoes, wardrobe requirements...

Plus ten grand split seven ways.

Dugan, uh... Phil Dugan's the wheel man on this.

Get a stenographer.

No, one of our officers did not kill Smokey the Bear.

You're misinformed. Plus, we got a cop shot here today, lady.

Captain. Captain, we got these messages off of Flynn's desk from Dugan.

Flynn just named him.

I'll try to find somebody to talk to you. Natalie, will you take these bear calls?

I'm going Scroogy with this.

Oh, Raymundo, I heard some interesting poop at lunch today.

Captain Grayson is announcing his retirement.

-Where you hear this? -From sources at Polk Avenue.

Is this true?

Yeah, he has a medical disability spinally related.

Now, imagine that, Raymundo.

Saperstein passes on, Grayson goes down, and in two ticks, all of a sudden,

you are numero dos on the captain's list with a bullet.

This is terrible. These poor men.

It is a dreadful way to advance as a result of another's misfortune.

-Beep, beep, beep! -What's that?

-Bullcrap detector. -Come on. Stop that.

-Imagine. -Oh, come on, compadre.

-The man retired. He didn't die. -So?

So, get your attitude straight. This is good news.

-I mean, you're allowed to enjoy it. -So I'm happy. So what?

Well, I know I would be.

Moves me up to 13th.

-Phil, you're busted. -Lame joke, John.

Not a joke at all, Phil.

I think you better convene a summit.

We need to know what you're offering.

No, no, Mr. Bernstein, I need to know what you're offering.

We have Sampson and Flynn. We don't need you, Dugan.

Yeah, sure, you don't need me...

If you want to leave Midtown a cesspool.

Hear no evil and see no evil, is that how it goes, Furillo?

Look, you don't want to know, let me walk out of here.

-Be specific. -You want specific?

Captain Joe Keenan.

-That specific enough for you? -What about Keenan?

Not till I hear I'm strolling out of here, Jack.

That's the deal.

I'm not asking to stay on the force.

But I walk... period.

With Keenan, you understand

that means he's bound up, delivered, convicted.

Maybe it flies, hmm?

-We have to talk, Warren. -Sure. Take your time.

This deal doesn't float. I won't approve it.

Well, thank you, Mr. President of the Joe Keenan Fan Club.

Frank, Dugan is a broom,

and we're gonna sweep a floor of Division with this guy.

Oh, yeah? Sweep it how? By letting Phil Dugan walk?

Phil Dugan, who conspired to get one of my men whacked?

Conspired? How?

With these messages on Flynn's desk. "Contact Dugan at Hill Street, urgent."

"Contact Dugan before you go up."

So he was trying to tip him off. I'm not questioning that, Frank.

Then Washington got shot.

Not because of Dugan, Frank. The messages never got through.

All right, we'll apologize to Washington.

No, we won't apologize to Washington, Warren.

You know how guys like Keenan get started?

With the same penny-ante, big fish, little fish, lazy, cynical attitude

about who did what, about justice,

about go for the guys who make the headlines at any cost.

That's lousy police work. That's ground-level corruption.

So what are you saying, Frank?

I'm saying that Dugan will take a felony, and he'll talk anyway.

Irwin, if I don't get at least this much, I'm not gonna be able to look

at a single man or woman in this precinct and say, "Go out there and do your job."

Mr. D.A., would you excuse us?

I've had enough of this crap, Furillo.

We're gonna give Dugan what he needs.

Dugan has to take a felony, and Dugan has to do time.

You're so damn worried how you look to your men, hmm?

Well, how do you think you're gonna look if that drinking leaks, hmm?

If it leaks, it leaks, Warren.

Dugan doesn't walk.

Save me from the damn puritans.

Here's where you stand, Phil.

We're all in agreement here.

You got no friends in this room.

Brought 'em over, huh, Furillo?

Sampson and Flynn are in a carded division.

Your edge is to talk now.

-They can't give you half what I can. -That's very naive, Phil.

You can take an "E" felony or reckless endangerment

or anything up to and including conspiracy to commit murder.

One way or another, you're gonna be charged with a felony.

(whistles) You boys are in some mood today, huh?

You have something to tell us?

Yeah.

-Joe Keenan. -That's not very articulate.

We need a full statement and grand-jury testimony

and trial-jury testimony if it goes that far.

There's not one pad in Midtown. There's four.

Above that's superpad.

Skims off all of them. That's Keenan's.

And he's got a hit squad to keep the enforcement going.

There's a hit squad in the department?

To keep the enforcement.

Keep everything nice and quiet.

Yeah.

Keenan's hit squad.

(door opens)

We got a fire here, Frank. I'm calling Daniels.

J.D., Lieutenant Shipman is gonna need you on a bust downtown.

As soon as Briscoe's off the phone.

-Who we busting? -Captain Joe Keenan.

What's up now, Mr. Greenglass?

It's like the old joke, I got good news and bad news.

The bad news is you can't be executor of Gina Scrignoli's estate.

Why not?

Because the good news is how's it feel to be a millionaire?

You're asking the wrong guy.

I am, am I?

These are the contents of a certain overlooked safe-deposit box,

West Indian Bank deposit books totaling $1.05 million,

handwritten codicil to Gina Scrignoli's estate

naming you beneficiary of these funds.

I thought she gave everything to her mother.

Everything till what we surprisingly uncovered this afternoon, Lieutenant.

Believe me, every Scrignoli estate's been like this,

like rats' nests.

The man was like a rat with his money. Barbados, Curacao.

Point being, there's got to be a new executor.

You can't be beneficiary as well as executor.

A million dollars?

Less my percentage retainer, of course, 28 percent.

Which you just managed to get me to sign

before you found a million dollars floating around.

Now, Lieutenant, there's a hardness in that accusation.

My Ruthie was with me when we opened the box.

We were totally amazed together.

Cute.

Lieutenant, you don't realize

what the IRS has got in store for both of us yet.

Believe me, you want a motivated partner.

I don't need a partner, Mr. Greenglass.

And since I'm no longer Gina's executor,

that piece of paper you conned me into signing

is probably worthless.

Now, wait--

It's out of my hands. Take it up with the new executor.

That's the problem with money, Lieutenant.

No sooner you get it than you think people are stealing it from you.

Captain, the next time those court cops

try to pick up a prisoner without proper release forms,

they are not getting them.

I don't care if they holler till they're blue in the face.

Uh, can we talk, Stan?

We got nothing to talk about. I'm trying to run a squad room.

We have something to talk about.

You checked out of that hospital without getting permission from your doctor.

I have a message to that effect right here.

Don't talk to me like I was your grandpa.

Calm down, Stan.

What did the doctor tell you?

What do you think he told me?

I'm old, okay?

Okay?

He told me I'm old.

-What did he say specifically? -Nothing.

Take it easy.

Rocking chair, take it easy.

-Retirement? -I should think about it.

What does he know?

It's a touch of angina. Okay, I'll cut out the pickles.

Don't mean I can't run a precinct.

Don't mean I can't walk a beat.

Don't mean I can't clear more cases than any two men half my age.

I agree with most of that, Stan.

I felt young again yesterday on patrol.

Outside on the street, wind in my face, all that crap.

Then boom.

There's always the old equalizer, isn't there?

Maybe.

But you'll always have a job in my squad room.

I guess maybe I'll rejoin the "Y."

Buy myself some purple underwear.

Take it easy, Stan.

This is a young man's soul inside an old man's body.

That stinks. You know that?

That stinks.

-Yeah, he shot him. -Were you shooting to kill, Officer?

No, ma'am, I was not, but you have to understand

that, uh, a man's life was at stake under the circumstances.

Is it true that the bear is over 17 years old?

I don't know anything about that.

That it is, in fact, a retired circus performer?

Well, now, that may be true.

That even his trainer considers him too old and infirm to be--

Why don't you ask the guy

whose arm he almost pulled out of its socket

or Lieutenant Howard Hunter,

who he almost squoze to death this morning...

-Suffocated. -...when he was down at the station?

How do you feel a police officer shooting the law-enforcement symbol?

I feel fine.

Well, why didn't you fire a warning shot?

Lady, I don't know if you know anything about bears,

but they are so big and mean and ugly

that a warning shot don't mean squat to 'em.

-(chatter) -Here comes the doctor.

I have a statement. After 40 minutes of surgery,

we have successfully removed the bullet from the upper bicep of Officer McBear.

He's now in post-op.

His condition is satisfactory and stable,

and a full recovery is expected.

I'll be glad to answer any questions that you have.

(in German accent) Yes, but will he ever play the violin again?

Frank, telephone, line six.

Yeah.

No, don't touch anything. I'll be right down.

Ray...

See if you can raise Briscoe.

They just found Keenan's body in a dumpster.

Deputy Chief Briscoe, please. Ray Calletano speaking.

Assume they move Scapezzi and fill in Keenan's spot.

Looks like you're numero uno on the list, compadre.

(siren wailing)

No struggle. It must have been somebody he knew.

(siren wailing)

Somebody talked, Warren.

From the time Dugan gave us Keenan, somebody heard and somebody acted.

-Is that an accusation, Captain? -It's an observation.

Ozzy, Fletcher... Heh?

Imagine, in one breath, this slug is telling me

she left me a million bucks.

The next breath, he's got his filthy mitts into it for 280 grand.

That's still a lot of loot.

Which is exactly the last thing I want to be dealing with right now.

I mean, she writes this...

This hand-scribbled codicil. You think that's not gonna be challenged?

All of a sudden, I'm looking at hearings, lawyers, all this stuff.

She loved you, Henry, and she just wanted to share what she had with you.

Why should that make you feel anything but happy?

Because...

Because I haven't grieved.

I mean, first it was the murder investigation.

I wouldn't let myself feel anything but my rage.

And then I had to be executor of her estate. Now this.

When do I get a chance to go off and just have grief?

You're having it.

But you're also having this. I mean, it's called life.

It just keeps coming at you.

Just got to grab it.

I think it's the best tribute you could give her.

I know, Fay.

The woman brought light into my life. I'm not gonna go back in the shadows.

I'm sick of talking about the trials and tribulations of Henry Goldblume.

What about you? Still seeing Harry?

I guess I embarrassed myself a little.

I, um... I asked him out.

Then I seduced him, and then I basically told him to buzz off.

You got a right.

One-night stands really aren't my style.

Doing it once doesn't mean they are.

To you, Henry G.

To the future and to your happiness.

Thank you, Fay.

Through everything, you've been a friend and more.

That door swings both ways, mister.

You haven't said ten words since we sat down to dinner.

I drank.

How many words is that?

-When? -Last week.

Why?

I'm not sure.

-Is it me? Us? -No, no, no, no. Not that.

I think it started with the Chief's encounter session.

Briscoe calling me St. Francis--

implying that I was just as hooked on AA meetings

as I had been on the bottle.

I think I started asking myself

if I hadn't traded in one crutch for another.

So I had a drink. Just the one, then I stopped.

The next day, one more.

Two days later, one more.

I was fine.

Fine...

I couldn't even let myself see

that the only difference between me and a normal drinker

is that I was taking my one drink

out of a pint bottle hidden in the glove compartment.

Then this urinalysis business picked up the alcohol content in my blood.

And Briscoe, God bless him,

he did the right thing for all the wrong reasons.

Tried to blackmail me.

But it reminded me...

of how far I'd gone.

One drink or 20, I'm a drunk.

Always will be.

How can I help? What can I do?

By doing what you do every day.

What about AA?

Yeah, well, I missed a lot of meetings. I got to get back.

-When? -Soon.

Soon isn't soon enough.

-Joyce-- -Frank, I love you.

I know you know this, but you don't have time.

We're talking about life and death here.

I used to say, "I'll just drink today,

"and then I'll stay sober for 20 years.

"I'll just drink today,

and I'll be sober for the rest of my life."

But now I say, "Dear God, please help me be sober today.

And I'll ask for tomorrow, tomorrow."

Thanks, Jim.

Frank?

Hi, I'm Frank. I'm an alcoholic.

ALL: Hi, Frank.

I've been sober two days.

(applause)

(closing theme playing)