Original subtitles

Justin, would you prefer not to have autism?

Do you like having autism?

But autism is my life. That's all.

What does your autism make you do?

How does it make you different from other people?

I don't know. Maybe he's had it, he's on overload.

I'm so overwhelmed with questions.

I enjoy the honesty that Justin shows.

He's honest about finding things annoying, and at the same time

sometimes I feel like maybe I am being boring,

which isn't such a great feeling.

Yes, it is bland.

'For several days, I'd been spending time among children

'diagnosed with autism, a condition of the brain

'often associated with a lack of interest in others.

'Around 1 child in 100 has autism.

'Those severely affected can sometimes behave in a way

'that is profoundly challenging for the people who care for them.

'And yet, with the right intervention,

'they can also make amazing progress.'

Konnichiwa, watashi wa Nicholas.

'One of America's top schools for autism is here in New Jersey.

'By visiting some of the pupils, I was hoping to get a glimpse

'of what life was like for their families.

'The tough choices they have to make over how to raise their children.'

What's your name?

Hello?

'And to experience for myself the pleasures and the strains

'of one of the most extraordinary kinds of relationship.'

I need help. You need help with what?

You ate your doughnut already, you're not getting another one.

'Paula Vieira has three children, of whom two are autistic -

'the seven-year-old twins Marcelo and Lucy.

CHILD SOBS

'During the Saturday errands, Marcelo had become distressed

'that we hadn't stopped at the supermarket,

'part of his usual routine.'

I know you want to go shopping. We're going to go to Dr Mark.

Don't hit me. You need nice hands. You need nice hands. OK?

Stop. You need nice hands. You need nice hands. Now stop that!

HE WAILS

Both Marcelo and Lucy have autism.

What is autism, as you understand it?

As I understand it? It is a neurological disorder.

Cause unknown. Cure unknown.

Right, Lucy. Where do you want to go? Outside. You want to go outside?

Hi, Lucy. How are you doing?

Would you like to say hello, Lucy?

How are you?

Was I doing something wrong, or...? No, you weren't.

You see, Lucy, now, she's an independent little soul.

She'll sit up there on that swing all by herself

without even making the connection

that there's a whole world around her.

Do Marcelo and Lucy know that they're autistic?

No. I doubt it.

I don't think they know what day it is.

I just try and make them happy.

I sense you're pretty stressed about this whole thing.

I'm heartbroken.

God forgive me, but...

..I don't get a lot of enjoyment from them.

To wait five years to hear someone call you "Mom"

after daily doing everything for them to keep them safe

and give them comfort and provide for them, it's...

..it's tough, you know?

'Marcelo and Lucy attend a state school

'specially designed for autistic kids.'

We're from the BBC and we're very pleased to meet you.

HE SINGS GIBBERISH

'The Developmental Learning Centre in Warren, New Jersey,

'has around 250 children.'

Say "car". Car. Good!

Say "cheese it".

'It takes an age range of three to 21-years old and prides itself

'on turning no-one away, no matter how disruptive their behaviour.'

That's the one we're working on. B.

'Much of the work focuses on social interaction.'

You say, "What's your favourite movie?" He says, "Red Tails".

Then, you could say... "That's cool".

My favourite movie is Lord Of The Rings. OK. We have our script.

Now, you guys are going to act it out.

Hey, what's up? Nothing much.

SCREECHING

Cut.

'A small percentage of students make enough progress to move

'to a more mainstream school.'

Hey, Nick.

'The latest to make the jump was 19-year-old Nicky Ingrassia.'

I'm graduating high school.

You graduated from here, and are moving on to a new school.

But that's not graduating high school.

Well, it kind of is from here. You're moving on.

What about my old friends? They're going to miss me to death.

You want to be challenged and this is a great opportunity for you.

Yes, but I have a fear of getting homework. Oh! You know what?

I can give you homework now to prepare you!

The idea is you'll be in a school where the other students

are at a higher educational level than the ones here.

Yes. Which you will enjoy.

Most likely. You hope to.

I hope to. Are you nervous? Yeah. Why?

Because it might be a bit harder, and the challenge might increase.

Do you get a lot of anxiety? What's anxiety? Do you get anxious?

Sometimes. What makes you nervous? The students who don't know better

who have nothing better to do with their lives

but to bother the crap out of me.

How about the work, does it make you nervous?

The work we ask of you? Yeah,

cos most of the of the time, it's pointless.

Why is it pointless? Because it's either too easy or too hard.

So Nicky has challenges

that a non-autistic person might not have?

Educationally?

Exactly. Which are what?

Coping with frustration

and being told to do a job and complete it.

You don't want to talk about this? You look uncomfortable.

I'm not comfortable. Why? What's making you uncomfortable?

This is a good way for you to express yourself. You see that?

OK, come here. What was it?

A kid having a hissy fit. That's one reason why I shouldn't be here.

JAZZ MUSIC

'It's not uncommon for children at the DLC to have aggressive tantrums.

'I was curious to meet one of these pupils.' Hi! Oh, it's you.

How was your day, Joe?

'Joey Morales Ward is 13 years old

'and lives in Morris Town with his mother, Carole.'

Hi, Joey! Hi, Joey!

That's what we do.

W....say cheese! Yeah.

Were those chips good? Yes. Yes.

You've got to be quiet cos they're asking me a question about you.

Coo-wa-a-woo. Say cheese.

How are you, Joey? Are those cameras?

Those are cameras, yes, but he asked you, how are you? Good.

Good. Joey had a behaviour today. Yes, he did.

He had a behaviour today.

The teacher said he went after her, which means he got up

from what he was doing and started to attack her.

They had to restrain him.

How often does that happen?

Erm, at least once a day, sometimes twice. With Joey? Yeah.

Every day? Yeah. Why does he do it?

I want to say part of it is lack of communication,

but at this point, because they have gotten worse in the last two years,

I want to say puberty.

How does Joey fall on the autistic spectrum?

Medically, he is considered severely autistic

because of the lack of communication, but there are kids

with communication that have more severe behaviours than him.

There's no... It's a huge spectrum.

There's no one thing that you can say that each kid has.

Hi, Joey! Hi!

JOEY MAKES NOISES

I'm Louis. Hi, Louis.

If you could take the autism away, would you do it?

Yes, I always pray for that miracle.

One day, I was in church and my daughter says,

"Mom, do you know that God made him that way?"

So then, I'm like, God made him that way...

to make me learn a lesson, probably.

Hi, Kate! Say hi!

'Carole's daughter, Kate, is not autistic.' Hi, Kate.

You don't want to say hi? You're being shy. It's OK.

I'm just going to bring her in.

SCREAMING

In, in, in, in.

Down, down, down.

CONTINUOUS SCREAMING

I might call my husband. Would you mind?

Hold his legs.

Breathe.

Go get some water. Shall I get some water?

Thanks.

Would you like us to step out? No - unless I let you film,

nobody's going to ever know that this is true autism. That's it.

A lot of parents don't want you to see that.

Breathe through your nose, Joseph.

DEEP BREATHS

Are you sorry? Sorry, yes. OK. Can I have a kiss?

Everything's OK, now? Everything's OK, now.

When will we say cheese? Everything's OK.

I'm Louis. Nice to meet you. How was that for you downstairs?

Is that still an emotional thing to see that?

It's very emotional...

and I know he's getting, you know, taller and bigger than me,

and I know one day I can probably not control him at all.

Sometimes he came after you and punched you for no reason.

If I say the word "no", he comes like a bulldog on top of me

and punches me. Does it ever affect how you feel about Joey?

No.

I remember when she was pregnant and she told me she had a baby boy.

I was happy.

I would like him to be a doctor or a lawyer, big things in my dreams.

But in the end, 18 months later, I found out he was autistic.

Now, I don't care anymore.

I would be happy if he was a dishwasher or a landscaper.

This sounds like a strange question,

but does it make it harder to love him?

No, I love him. It's like any regular child.

'A few miles away in Scotch Plains, New Jersey, lives Mary Ingrassia.'

Hi, Mary. Hi, Louis. How are you doing?

'A teacher, and the mother of Nicky.' Nicky's in the basement.

He's running upstairs right now. Here's everything. Wow! It's a lot.

Is Britney here as well? Yes. Where is Britney? Britney?

Britney is Nicky's twin. You're 19 as well.

How do you do? I'm Louis. Hello.

Has it been helpful for Nicky to have a twin?

I think it's been helpful for Nicky to have not only a twin,

but so many other siblings with their friends coming in.

Because he gets socialised, gets to mix and mingle.

But Nicky was born normal.

How old was Nicky when you realised there was something different?

About 18 months old. What happened?

He literally woke up one morning,

he went into a total regression.

He stopped babbling, he stopped crawling,

he just stopped doing everything.

How has Nicky done at DLC? Nicky's done great.

They have taught Nicky way above and beyond my expectations.

How? I overgrew the challenge. Look at him!

What would stop him from going to a mainstream school?

Forget it, I couldn't go. I think just the idea of normal children.

Being bullies?

Yeah. There's kids I have problems with in my class.

This morning, I was so angry, I said,

"I'm going to stab this kid if he doesn't shut up."

What did I tell you about talking like that?

It's freedom of speech! No, you can't do that.

What did I tell you about talking like that? Never do it.

And what did you do? I said it anyway cos I was angry. Why?

Because I was angry! I'm sorry.

That's trouble. They can arrest you. You'll go to jail!

No way! Oh, yeah.

Do you want that to happen? No way. Cos that's a threat.

I'm not kidding. I hear you loud and clear! You're not funny.

You're not funny cos we already spoke about this. Oh, I'm not funny?

Am I laughing? No!

Quit overreacting. Stop it, Nicky. You're aggravating me right now.

Everybody needs to stop, that's the thing.

If you could take away Nicky's autism, would you do it?

No. Why not? Cos he's too special.

He also does so many things that you've never seen before.

I don't think any of my other children could do what Nicky does.

'Nicky's written a number of dictionaries

'and a novel called Dragonula,

'which he was keen to show me.'

These two are Japanese books which is my favourite language to learn.

I'm starting to write the entire alphabet

in Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji.

Do you speak Japanese? Yes. How do you say, "hello, my name is Nicky."?

Konnichiwa, watashi wa Nicholas.

Very good. Next we have German. Can we move on to Dragonula?

Not yet. Oh.

Next we have Chinese simplified,

and, last but not least, the Hindi language book.

Hindi is the language that they speak in India. That's it for those,

now we're moving on to the most anticipated work of them all.

The Dragonula novel by me, of course. You wrote this whole book?

The whole book. It's inspired by dragon law. About dragon law.

Yes, dragon law - or, if it's British English, it's Dragonula.

Would you read us a tiny bit of the book? Sure, I'll read the prologue.

"The year was 1462. In a medieval Europe civilisation setting built in ancient Japan,

"there once lived a sympathic Japanese Romanian black dragon.

"Mona has committed suicide by diving off the castle's tower.

"Zenaiku screams in despair as he slowly goes down to his death

"as the blood rises up, a fort-high blood pool."

Great. What do you think? Terrific.

This school that Nicky is about to start.

He'll stay in there until how long? Until he's 21.

After then, what happens? I'm not really sure.

I'm not sure where we're going to go after that. Will he still stay here?

Oh, yeah, of course. For how long?

Nicky will live here as long as I'm alive. As long as Mom's alive.

And then, you know...

And then Britney will take him? Britney or one of his brothers.

You would do that, Britney? Of course. He's my twin brother.

May I move on to another thing? OK, every...

Mom, you're ruining it. Sorry.

Touch your head.

Head! Look, touch!

'I was back at the DLC,

'hoping for more insight into the methods of the school.'

Lucy, can you tell me how he feels? Mad. He does feel mad.

'Children on the autistic spectrum

'often have trouble with skills most people regard as instinctive.'

How does he feel? Surprised. He does not feel surprised, he feels...

Happy. He does. Show me happy.

'The school tries to teach these abilities

'using strictly regimented phases of work and break

'to incentivise learning.' Three stars, you get a break.

Good.

'I'd arranged to spend some school time with Joey

'and his behaviour specialist Kim Spurlock.' Good job.

So, he looks for the price of the item and there are two items

and he adds up the price, and gets a result. Right.

He seems to be doing well. Yes. He's made progress.

We are really trying to focus on his behaviours,

trying to decrease them.

And Joey's strengths?

That he can work on an activity for long periods of time,

especially the vocational tasks.

I have...

I am... I am finished. Good. Let's do collating and stapling.

Something like this is what I was talking about, his strengths.

He can stay on task.

He can do an activity or job and work through it

and complete the activity.

What are you drawing, Joey? Girl. Are you drawing a girl?

Does she have a name?

Who is this? Girl with ponytails.

Girl with ponytails. Very nice.

ALARM

Break is... there you are, finished.

SCREECHING

Lie him back.

Bye.

This is your class? This is my class.

'A little later, I checked in with a teacher called Matt Fernandez,

'curious to meet a few of Nicky's peers.'

Hi! How are you? Hi! Nice to meet you.

Bradley, will you stand up for a second and talk to us, please?

Thank you, Bradley.

Matt is your teacher, how do you get on with Matt? Him? Yeah.

I dunno. How old is he? Not how old I am. How do we get along?

Do you like being in my class? Yeah. What will you do when you graduate?

Where do you work now? TK Maxx.

That's a department store? Yeah.

What do you do there? What did I do? You know, fold. You folded.

I fold the towels. Good, thanks, Bradley. You're welcome.

This is Tyler Smith. Hi, I'm Louis. Nice to meet you. This is Tyler.

Hi, Tyler. Hi! Tyler has pens. Takia has a knack for geography.

You can give him any country in the world and he'll give you the capital.

For real? For real. What's the capital of Great Britain?

London. Good.

France? Paris. Madagascar? Antananarivo.

Tibet? No Tibet anymore. OK, Tibet doesn't count.

'Nicky had just a few days left

'before transferring to his new school.

'I joined him for one of his last art classes.'

I'm Louis. I'm Tommy. Louis, nice to meet you. How are you doing? Louis.

Oh, my God. Tell me briefly what's happening in here.

This is the Comic Book Club. We have it for an hour a week.

The rule is that they have to develop their own characters.

I've just shown my teacher my novel that I mentioned the other day.

It's right here.

His job is...

..to interact with everybody and help them out.

You're sort of co-teaching. Yeah, I co-teach. It's called collaboration.

That's the most important thing here, the kids interacting with each other.

Yeah, but I'm going to miss my friends.

Yeah, why don't you talk about how you feel about Nick leaving?

We feel happy for him. Why? Because I'll get to do other things.

He deserves to go to a different school. Why? Because I'm special.

Because he's special. All the kids there could speak.

Just about all the kids could speak, they are like a higher level.

Johnny, how do you feel about Nicky leaving? I feel great for him.

I am really proud that he's going to leave

because I'm going to miss him. He's one of my best friends.

Me too. Would you like to be going with him? Yeah.

Years ago, we had violent behaviours

cos we didn't know any better.

It was a tough break. Yes, it was. But as we got older,

we got mature and we were intelligent enough to learn more

of the real world.

Let's go and say hi to George. 'I was back with the Vieiras.'

Look how long your hair is. Look, it's like a wig, George.

Paula was taking Marcelo for a haircut.

HE SHOUTS

No, we're not going yet. We're going to cut our hair.

HE SOBS It's OK.

Do NOT hit your sister! Stop it!

HE SCREAMS, SHE CRIES

I've got Peppa Pig on my iPhone.

Do you know Peppa Pig?

I do not know Pepper Pig.

PHONE PLAYS TUNE

LOUIS SIGHS

I'm right here. Your sister's going to the bathroom.

Have you seen Peppa Pig? Nope!

Look, Marce.

Do you want to hold it? Do you want to hold it?

PHONE PLAYS TUNE

'I was curious about the strain

'that raising autistic children can put on a marriage.'

Say goodnight. No! Goodnight.

What do you want? Talk to Daddy.

Back at the house, and Paula's husband, Paulo, had finished work.

Cheers! Cheers!

'With the children in bed, we re-grouped in the kitchen.'

How are you feeling? Tired!

Long day. Very, very long day with the kids.

It's like we're still stuck in toddler stage. Yeah.

We haven't got out of the terrible twos yet.

It just keeps building up and building up and building up.

And then...he's angry and mad.

Marriage is...it's true, it'll never be the same.

It's never the same. Mmm-mmm.

It's not the same as it was before, do you mean? No.

Well, there's not like that laughter, fun part any more, you know? It's...

We miss out a lot.

So the only place you can take it out is on each other.

Like, we don't go on vacation. You know what I mean?

We don't go to parties.

And we are seeing what regular kids are doing outside, and...

I know exactly how he feels, because when you see typical children,

you...you can't help

but wish that that was your son playing on the football field.

Or your daughter cheerleading on the sidelines.

Or, you know, being in the school play, and doing things that kids do.

You OK? Mmm.

Go ahead. I just wanted to check on you. I'm OK, OK?

HE LAUGHS: I'm back!

Are you OK? Yeah.

MUSIC: Mozart's Piano Sonata No.4

Is this where you are? This is my homeroom. The sharp right.

Come, make yourself comfortable, if you could.

'By now I was more than a week into my stay,

'and Nicky had become curious about me.

'He'd taken the initiative of doing some research of his own.'

This is what you're best-known for?

You're working with BBC, making these documentaries and all these TV shows.

Like, When Louis Met...

And Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends.

Those are your two best-known programmes.

Well, I don't know...maybe.

Is all this info on your page true?

Saying that you are the youngest son of the American traveller?

We don't really have to read that, do we, Nicky?

You are of Italian descent and American descent.

Is that strange to you? That's really strange. Why?

I'm Italian descent as well. Well, maybe we're related.

We probably are. Ha! It's a funny story. It's a funny...

Shall we click that away now? Sure. I'll move on to something else.

Thank you.

'But there was a possible crimp in the plan for Nicky to move schools.

'His threat of stabbing another student had been reported.'

OK, so someone was laughing, right? And one was cursing me off.

'One of the school's behaviour specialists, Dana Silver,

'had called Nicky into a meeting.'

What did you do to one of the students?

Did you say something back to the student?

Unfortunately. And I was told not to do it again afterwards.

All right. So what did you say? A threat.

And what was this threat?

I screamed, "If you don't stop laughing at me,

"I'm going to stab you."

And see how he'll laugh at that.

And he would feel exactly like how I feel.

Me being laughed at by him is like being stabbed towards the chest.

OK.

Is this something Nicky's done before?

Yes. Throughout this year.

Why? Cos they make me so angry.

I just had to say those threats to get it out of my head.

And the stakes are higher now, Dana,

because Nicky's going to this other school?

But I'm only one of the very few. And it's amazing.

And we want that to continue for you,

so we need to make sure we can control your anger.

And we need to give you strategies of how to deal

when people don't like things.

So these are the strategies? Yeah, I think...

"Move away, ask them to stop, keep doing my work,

"write in my journal, or tell a teacher."

Those are five options. Those ARE five options.

I did tell him to stop and tell a teacher,

and I tried to move away.

I did four out of five strategies.

But you also did something inappropriate.

You threatened a student, right?

So are we going to try our best not to make threats?

Yes. You promise? Promise.

MUSIC: "I'll Write and I'll Draw" by Woody Guthrie

Though most of the pupils at the school live at home,

there is a tiny handful whose behaviour

is so unmanageable that their parents can no longer cope.

Who am I speaking to? This is Josephine, Brian's mum.

'I was with a DLC parent called Josephine Engelhardt.'

Well, I'm on my way to pick up Brian.

You didn't tell him that I was coming, did you?

Oh, good. Good. Cos I don't want him to get to be anxious, you know?

Waiting.

(FROM INSIDE HOUSE) Look how happy he is!

Look at that beautiful smile! Mommy loves you!

Thank you very much. Take care.

'Brian had burned down the family house, aged eight.

'He had also repeatedly assaulted his mother.

'For the last two years, Brian has been living in a group home.'

SHE LAUGHS

Brian, say hello! How are you? Hey. I'm Louis.

That's Marco. Louis.

Oh, I'm sorry! That's all right.

This is Louis. Hi, how are you?

Good. Nice to meet you.

The number eight, please.

Here, honey.

You can put it there, OK? Here.

HE CRUNCHES FOOD

SHE LAUGHS

He LOVES to eat, Louis! He loves to eat!

The main course is to come.

Ha-ha! He's not going to let me forget it. Foo-foo-foo! Me-me!

Is it? Foo-foo-foo-foo? Me-me?

What kind of taco is it? Yeah.

What kind is it? Yeah.

Is it beef? Beef.

Is it chicken? Mmm.

HE CRUNCHES FOOD SHE LAUGHS

It's crunchy.

I can hear it crunching.

You know, he has a tendency, like a lot of autistic...

You've got to slow down. You're going to make yourself ill.

Yeah. You're going very quickly.

Slow down, Brian. He always did. Is he very hungry?

Or maybe he just likes the sensation of the food?

No, no. I believe...both.

I believe that they keep them on a schedule.

So he cannot just eat at will.

Brian seems quite interested in me. Yes.

Yes. See?

Are we friends? Yeah.

Nice to meet you. Yeah.

We're from England. Yeah.

I mean, there's a cliche about autism,

that the people can be a little bit insular or inward-looking.

But Brian seems...quite sociable.

Exactly! Exactly my point. He's very sociable.

Foo-foo-foo! Me-me! Foo!

High five! Foo-foo! Thank you.

Food's coming. We've got to get back to the house.

'While Josephine went off to get more food, I was left in charge.'

How are you doing? Yeah. Are you good? Yeah.

How are you feeling? Yeah. Good? Yeah.

Do you ever play with these? Yeah.

What do you do with them? HE MUMBLES

Dominoes? Yeah.

What do you do with them? Do you ever do this? Yeah.

Do you want to push that one? Yeah.

That's fun, isn't it? Yeah. Shall I do it again? Yeah.

Are you ready to push? Yeah. You push.

Good! Yeah. Was that fun? Yeah. I thought so.

OK, I'm going to do the whole lot. Will you help? Yeah.

You want to build one? Mmm-hmm. You build one.

OK, you don't have to.

OK, I'm building another one.

Brian?

Brian?

Brian?

You OK? Yeah.

I've got the dominoes.

I've got the dominoes.

Can you push the domino?

HE CRUNCHES FOOD

OK, honey. One minute, one minute.

Here. Here, sweetheart.

What made you decide you couldn't handle Brian at home any more?

OK. I knew deep down that things were unbearable.

Absolutely unbearable.

To be afraid of your child is a terrible thing.

You know, to be...having to hide,

or having to run away, because...

Brian! No, no, no. That's not yours. That's not yours.

Go have a can. Grab a can from the refrigerator.

You want a can?

Lasagn... No, no, no.

See, he says, "Lasagne". He knows how to say it.

No. No. See?

It's almost like a glutton, you know what I'm saying?

He goes from one, you know, relentlessly...

Brian, no! No. OK?

(SHE LAUGHS): All right.

He had a little bit of a look on, then. Did you see it? (SHE LAUGHS)

What did that mean? Because I said no.

Like he was trying to intimidate you a little bit.

But it's nothing in comparison to how it was.

It was pretty unbearable.

So the times that Brian did hurt you, how would he hurt you?

He would grab me, and you know, I would lose chunks of hair.

Sometimes it would get real scary.

He would grab my throat and he could easily choke me that way.

< Lasagne.

Huh? No, honey. No, you're...Brian!

Brian, go over there. Lasagne.

SHE LAUGHS You think he's being aggressive!

That's not being aggressive at all!

No, Brian, leave the kitty alone.

He's got a mischievous streak, though, you know?

SHE LAUGHS CAT MEOWS

He seemed a little more cuddly in the car,

and now he's making me a little nervous.

SHE LAUGHS Wait a minute.

No, you don't. No, No. CAT MEOWS

Leave the kitty alone. (HE MUMBLES) Yes, go ahead. Lay down.

He's actually trying to be friendly, believe it or not.

Brian! No, no, you cannot touch that. He can do that if he wants to.

Does he have behaviours at the residence?

At the home that he's in?

The only time... Hardly ever, he's like...

they tell me he's one of the best-behaved there.

The only time that he does is food-related.

So at the moment, basically, during the week

Brian lives at the group home

and then he comes back at weekends just during the day.

Saturday, Sunday during the day he's with you?

Right. Only because...

But he doesn't spend the night here, ever? Yes, he has.

And it's been a disaster every time!

Because he doesn't sleep.

'Brian had been put on medication, which Josephine felt was helping

'with his impulsivity.

'Still, it was striking how warm he was, and how friendly.'

Who? Brian.

Yeah, that's Brian.

Who do you think that is?

Yeah, Brian. Yeah, that's Brian.

'I'd been concerned that Brian might not deal well with

'the end of the visit.

'But when the time came,

'he was the one who asked to be taken back home.'

You're waiting for us? Yeah. Good job! Good job waiting, Brian.

Where do you want to go? To the house? OK.

How much do you think I love you? Too much.

Too much? Yeah.

SALSA MUSIC PLAYS

Am I picking you up tomorrow? Yeah.

I'm going to pick you up tomorrow?

Yeah. OK, sweetheart. Come here. I love you.

Nice to meet you. Aw!

Goodnight. You get in here?

Yeah.

OK. You go right through.

Oh, thank you. Thank you for watching over him.

(FROM INSIDE) Take care!

God bless you. God bless you too.

Goodnight. Goodnight. Thank you.

He seems very happy. Yeah, he is.

He's a happy little kid, he really is.

Why do you think he's so much more mellow now?

Because he is in a much more mellow environment.

You couldn't create that environment at home?

Not with the pressures.

We were just so...bogged down and so tired.

Swamped? So frustrated. Exactly.

Are you happier now as well?

I am happy, you know, in a certain way, that I'm a lot less stressful,

my life right now.

But I'm also sad in another way, because he's not with me.

'It was the morning of Nicky's first day at his new school.

'I'd arranged to visit him at home.'

I'm sorry. That's all right. Hi, how are you doing?

Nice to see you. How's it going?

How are you doing, Nicky?

I'm tired a bit. Nick, are you nervous? Yeah.

High five.

I'm curious whether there's more students at DLC Warren

who'll be able to make the kind of progress you've made? Probably not.

Mary, was Nick ever diagnosed with severe autism? Yes.

Severe? When he was little. Was he? But I overcame.

He was non-verbal. I mean, he wouldn't do anything.

I overcame that. He just screamed. Until he was? I would say about six.

So that's amazing, isn't it? The journey that he's been on.

How did he start communicating? Honestly?

My parents took Nicky to a church,

a cathedral in Philadelphia, St John Paul Neumann's church.

And I don't know if it was a miracle or something that, you know,

was supposed to happen, but the next day,

after the visitation of the church, Nicky said to me, "Hi, Mom."

What?! Just as clear as day.

Crazy. True, though. I don't know, maybe it was coincidence.

He said, "Hi, Mum." Mm.

And then after that, he just added more words? Mm-hmm.

It's a little bit of a miracle, right?

Yeah, but, but, I think it's a... I think it's a disaster

at the same time, too. Why?

My mouth got me into a lot of trouble throughout my life.

'With the school day soon starting, there was still no sign of the bus.'

Where is it?

HE SIGHS

Do you feel anxious? Yes. Would you like a hug?

I'm not gay. LOUIS LAUGHS

What was that reaction?! I'm like, "I'm not gay!"

He doesn't mean it like that, Nick.

Not like a gay hug, like a reassuring hug. OK, fine.

Hugged by a celebrity.

THEY LAUGH Hugged by a celebrity!

Hugged by a celebrity. Ah, Louis.

Was that nice? Yes, it was, when you hugged me. Aw.

LOUIS LAUGHS But the gay thing, no.

Where is it?

We could take Nicky. You could do that?

Yeah, that would be great.

Be a good boy. God bless. I'm a bit, I'm really nervous. I know you are.

OK. I'm so anxious and nervous.

You're going to be fine. I hope I will.

Love you. Bye, now.

See you later, love. Good luck.

LOCKER SQUEAKS

Oh, God.

Nick! How are you? I'm new. This is my first day here.

I'm so happy you're back. I know.

That's Louis. He's from the BBC and he's popular in the UK. Really?

He has a Wikipedia page. Dang! You must be lucky.

Thank you very much.

How do you know Nick? He's an old friend of mine.

I have known her for... I've known her, six years ago.

Yep, six years ago we met in middle school. He's a good friend of mine.

And now Nick's back. Hi! Good morning.

How are you? Welcome, welcome, welcome. Are you excited?

Yes. I'm nervous, too. A little nervous.

OK. Let's go to the room. OK.

So you can kind of hang out. OK.

It's gonna be all right, don't worry.

I'm already anxious and nervous to death. Don't worry, Nicky.

You're going to be fine. We'll both help. Thank you, girls.

It's all right, Nicky. Hey, Nick. Come here.

This is where we sign in every morning.

Good, there we go.

Nice job. Thank you.

That was a little too easy.

Come on, handsome.

'Back at the DLC, school photographs were underway.'

Lower those hands. Where's that happy smile?

Want me to come and tickle you?

'One of the strangest aspects of autism

'is how unpredictably it can develop.

'I wondered how these children's lives would unfold.

'Whether they would make sudden gains and leave, like Nicky,

'or continue locked in their own worlds.'

Give it to me! I got it!

Yay!

'For those older students who do stay at the DLC,

'teachers do their best to prepare them for an independent existence.

'One school hallway is built to resemble a main street,

'with classrooms designed to look like shops and workplaces.

'Here, students get used to life in the outside world.'

Can I sit next to you? Sure.

What are you doing? I'm writing. What are you writing about?

Erm, there. That should do it.

"Add Sara Jane's purchases together

"and complete the cheque below for the total amount. Use today's date."

So you had to put the date here. Did you write that? Yeah.

So this is helpful, isn't it? Yeah.

Because if you ever needed to write a cheque out in the real world,

now you know how to do it. Yeah.

Has he been making good progress? Absolutely.

You know, one of Bradley's good skills is being very thorough

and making sure he goes back and checks his work, staying organised.

There's a lot of things we focused on in the last couple of years.

How did Bradley score on his cheque writing? He did very well.

Very nice, Bradley. Well done.

HE SIGHS Did you find it stressful?

Yeah, I'm calm. HE SIGHS

Are you OK? I'm fine.

Hi, Brian. Do you remember me? I'm Louis. Hi, there. Louis.

Nice to see you.

Are you, are you Joe? Yes. Louis, hi.

It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Brian, what are you doing? Yeah.

Now, what are you doing right now? So-orting.

S-sorting. Sorting.

At this point, Brian is sorting the different baked goods,

the pastries and things, by type into different trays,

with a view to maybe one day, you think, he could perhaps

work in a bakery or in that kind of a workplace? Yeah.

The skills to work in something like that he definitely has.

He can definitely sort the different shapes, different colours,

different sizes.

Brian, we're going to go shopping. Yeah.

Could you get me two potatoes, please?

And another one, please.

I'll just have one carrot, please.

And maybe one Danish.

That is everything. Yeah.

Did you enjoy that? Yeah. Was that fun? Fun. Good. Yeah.

Next year Brian will graduate, is that correct?

He's graduating in June. In June? Yes. What will happen then?

Well, he's currently going to be in a workshop.

Whether it's stuffing envelopes or putting batteries

in a remote control, packaging goodie bags,

we are trying to work on those independent work skills

while they're here.

Come here. Listen. Yes.

What do we need to do in order to bake these cupcakes? Get a bowl.

'A little later, I joined some of Nicky's old friends

'in a cookery class.'

Oh, man. That's OK, watch. We've got enough time.

It's my fault. No, that's OK.

100% vegetable oil, of course -

fruity delicious.

What's the capital of Vatican State? Vatican City.

Somalia? Mogadishu.

Kenya? Erm, Nairobi.

Mm, that feels good. Tasty. Very nice.

Bradley? Yeah?

The cakes are delicious. I know. You're welcome.

'My time at the DLC was up.

'I'd been struck by the dedication of the staff, and their commitment

'to making changes that could be tiny or immense -

'and sometimes both at once.'

Before leaving the world of autism altogether,

I was making a few revisits.

Sing a song for Daddy.

MARCELO SINGS JINGLE BELLS

'First, the Vieiras.'

# Tee-tee-tee, tee-tee. #

Can you dance to it? Dance. Dance.

# Tee-tee-tee-tee-tee. #

Mommy, I want ice-cream.

Part of what I sense, maybe, is that you don't want the fact

that you've got two children with autism to define your existence

but, at the moment, it has become the defining fact of your existence.

It is, and it has been for a long time.

I'm starting to see that there's a light,

that it won't be what defines us as a family,

or defines us as individuals, eventually.

So what do you hope for now? Silence!

SHE LAUGHS

You know, they always say, "God gives you what you can handle."

And I have to say I think that we are extraordinary people

but we were extraordinary people

before these children came into our lives.

Which is probably why I have such difficulty accepting it.

I just... some people, it transforms them

to being this ultra-caring kind of a person.

Whereas I think we have always been that kind of person - that's,

that's the difference I was trying to make.

So you feel you didn't need to be transformed, in a sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is almost part of the reason why I get so angry because I, I...

I AM that loving, sweet person, compassionate person.

Right, Lucy?

Wow. I like your alphabet. MARCELO RECITES ALPHABET

Marcelo always loved letters.

He knew the alphabet, he must've been 18 months old,

he knew the whole alphabet. L...

O! Very good! Good job! Yay!

Hi.

You're supposed to ignore the camera, Joe.

Barney is dinosaur.

Barney is a dinosaur. Imagination.

'I was paying one last visit to Joey and his mother, Carole.

'Carole had once told me she'd prayed for a miracle for Joey.

'It being Sunday, we were attending church.'

Take away the sins of the world...

In the name of the Father and the Son...

# ..Clap your hands

# If you're happy and you know it clap your hands

# If you're happy and you know it Then your face will surely show it

# If you're happy and you know it clap your hands. #

'That Carole was hoping for some kind of cure for Joey

'seemed understandable, and yet what was strange

'was that Joey's personality was so bound up with his condition,

'it was hard to separate the two.

'His lovable qualities were intertwined

'with the challenges he presented.'

Can you find Mickey Mouse? JOEY SHOUTS

INCOMPREHENSIBLE SPEECH

You want to sit here? Sit here.

Sit here.

Sit here. Who, me? Me.

Sit here. Yeah. JOE GROANS

OK. Sit here.

Who, me? Who, me.

Here? Here.

INCOMPREHENSIBLE SPEECH

Draw a picture? The picture.

JOEY GROANS

JOEY SCREAMS No, no, no, no.

Yeah. You can't get angry and hit walls.

Go. Lie down. JOEY SCREAMS

Lie down.

'Since I'd last seen her, Carole had started a new technique

'for controlling Joey's tantrums by confining him to his room.'

JOEY SCREAMS Down.

Can I help, Carole? SCREAMING

Down. Down.

And when you're ready, you can come out.

JOEY SCREAMS

When you can calm down, you can come down for breakfast. OK? That's good.

Good job. Calm down, breathe. SCREAMING

We'll just leave him and see what happens.

SCREAMING Leave him.

If he breaks anything in there, we'll throw it out.

Scissors. Scissors.

So you feel this new system could be working? Right.

The tantrums, although they're still intense, he seems to,

after 10 minutes,

come out of it and he comes downstairs and says he's sorry.

On our last visit, you were worried about

whether you'd be able to control Joey as he got older

if the aggressiveness continued or got worse.

Right. Are you still concerned about that?

I'm still concerned about that.

If the tantrums got worse I would first try medicine.

If the medication does not work?

I don't want to think about that,

but what would happen is, in order for me to get help from the state,

I would probably have to call 911.

And then the state would step in. But I don't want that to happen.

If it really did not improve,

you would consider residential care?

Eventually I would have to because if I couldn't take care of him,

what am I going to do?

The sad thing is that's your only option, really.

That's the final outcome for all these children.

Wah!

What do you want Mommy to do? Sock.

You want Mommy to take...

Take a picture.

Wah! Beautiful picture.

Can you tell if Joey likes me? I...

Joe, do you like Louis?

Louis still here. Do you like him? Yes or no.

Yes. Do you like him? Yes. Shake hands. Would he say that anyway?

Say cheese. No, because I gave him two options and then I asked,

I said, "Joey, do you like Louis? Yes or no?"

Now I have to ask again. Joey, do you like Louis? Louis, yes.

And I didn't give him two options. Shake it, say cheese.

'I was leaving the world of autism with a fondness for the kids

'and a respect bordering on awe for the parents.'

Moo! It's a cow.

Cow. Moo. Moo.

'Raising a child on the severe end of the spectrum

'can entail decisions no-one should have to make.'

Moo-oo-oo!

'And yet these parents were, in different ways, continuing to find

'inner reserves of love and compassion.

'Performing a small miracle of their own in their ability to keep going.'

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd