Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

♪ Brother, hmm, hmm

♪ Three brothers puffin'

♪ And we just woke up in Year 2020 ♪

♪ Roll another J And forget the day ♪

♪ Roll another J And get high ♪

♪ Roll another J And forget the day ♪

♪ Me and my brothers Getting fried ♪

♪ The Freak Brothers

[inhales]

♪ Peace and love

♪ Got to get together ♪

-♪ With peace and love -[helicopters whirring]

♪ Stop fighting one another

-♪ Give it to me now ♪ -♪ Peace and love ♪

♪ Got to get together

♪ With peace and love ♪

-♪ Stop fighting one another ♪ -♪ Ow... ♪

Excuse me. Pardon me. Move, man!

One hairy, maladjusted Freak comin' through!

♪ It's time to change ♪

♪ Hey, hey... ♪

I won this hat off a man in a poker game

just outside of Abilene, Texas.

Do you have any pot?

If you ladies would kindly check your tube tops.

[both chuckle]

[both] When did you do that?

When we were making love, darlings.

Allow me to introduce myself, Freewheelin' Franklin Freek.

[inhales, exhales]

Name's Bernie Sanders.

Outreach Coordinator for the American Socialist Party.

I also brought the sandwich.

Fat Freddy Freekowtski. I'm eatin' the sandwich.

Of course, in the spirit of socialism,

I brought it to share with everyone.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen. [munches]

Fat Freddy, gimme a piece of that sandwich.

Oh, Kitty, I fed you last week!

Don't play with me, fat man! I'm hungry!

-[rock music playing] -[indistinct chatter]

[growls]

Franklin, Freddy, we gotta talk. Basement. Now.

[meows]

"The ultimate high." That's what it says, right here.

A guy named Swami Bhajan.

He makes a magical trippin' sauce.

-[munches] -You sprinkle it on your weed

and it, quote, "Blows your mind out your eye holes," unquote!

[blows raspberries]

[screams]

What in the fried fuck is a Swami?

I don't know, some spiritual kook who rides elephants.

-I didn't read the article. -It don't matter.

It's the ultimate high! Where is he?

Some little music festival in upstate New York.

-[crowd cheering] -[Kitty] Woodstock, 1969.

The apex of '60s counterculture.

Lotta music. Lotta drugs.

-And a lotta fuckin'. -[woman moans]

-A whole lotta fucking. -[crowd moaning]

There were once in a lifetime performances

from Janis Joplin, John Fogerty, and Joe Cocker.

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[speaking gibberish]

[groans]

But we didn't see a damn second of it,

because Fat Freddy bought us bus tickets

to Woodstock, Georgia!

-[birds chirping] -[caws]

After two days of wandering around

a damn peach orchard,

they finally figured out we were in the wrong damn state!

-[gun cocks] -[Phineas] Ow!

Ow! Run! Run, guys! Run for your fucking lives!

-Every man for himself! -[Freddy] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[rock music playing]

Don't you want to stop and listen to Jimi Hendrix?

No! It's the last day of the festival.

I wanna find Swami what's-his-fucking name

and get the ultimate high.

-But Phineas- -You shut up!

I'm still picking buckshot out of my ass because of you.

Your Holiness, wait!

-Namaste, namaste! -What is it, my children?

Your Honor, we stand before you to request a bottle

of your sacred weed sauce. [chuckles]

And for what reason do you seek my elixir?

To get as high as humanly possible.

I'm so sorry.

My elixir is only for spiritual purposes.

Listen, Chicken Tikka.

You say spiritual, I say 30 dollars.

You could've had it for five.

What a dumbass. Pack up those pachyderms.

-[elephant trumpets] -We're leaving!

And now, I must begin my humble pilgrimage

back to Calcutta. [claps]

[both] ♪ Put the boss in

♪ His Mercedes

-♪ Tell the driver... -[engine starts]

♪ Start the engine

We got the sauce!

Now we need to sprinkle it on a joint.

Who's got some weed?

We smoked it all before we hit the Golden Gate Bridge.

No! You smoked it all, funky butt!

All Statue of Liberty no never passin' motherfucker.

Oh, why don't we just buy from one of these hippies here?

That is the end of Woodstock!

Please leave Woodstock now, ya dig?

Gentlemen! Back to San Francisco!

[upbeat music playing]

[Franklin] Mary Jane?

First name Mary, uh, last name Jane?

-Anyone seen her? -Hey. [speaks Spanish]

-You Freaks lookin' to score? -Hey, it's Ramon!

-Hey! Don't say my name! -Hey, Ramon!

We'll take our usual bag of schwag, thanks, Ramon!

What the... [sighs] All right. Deal.

Fuckin' Freaks...

-[siren blaring] -Oh, shit! Los cerdos!

Ramon, what the hell are you doin'?

Stuffin' it up my ass. [grunts] I'm on probation!

-Ooh, ice cream! -[ice cream truck music playing]

Who's a track star, in case.

-[groans] -[tires screeching]

-Oh, shit! -[groans]

Ramon, the weed man!

I'll have a rocket pop and a Mr. Big Cone.

Freddy!

A man just got flattened right in front of you

and you're talking about ice cream?

Did you say Mr. Big Cone? That's a good cone.

Forget it, man.

We can just go buy from someone else.

With what? He took the last of our money!

And our weed's up his ass.

Hmm.

I got an idea. Play it cool, boys.

Y'all lemme know when y'all get that weed.

[slurps] Mm. I ain't diggin' in nobody's ass.

Let us give you a hand there, pal.

Oh, thanks. I-- Hey. Who are you guys?

You remember us from the Christmas party.

I'm, um... I'm Bill.

I'm Jah-Quez.

And I'm Denise!

Oh, you remember Denise!

She was dancing up a storm to "Jingle Bell Rock".

-Shakin' her tits. -Huh. Huh. Huh.

-Ooh. -[Christmas music playing]

-[music stops] -That's right!

Okay, grab his limbs.

-Lift on three. -Sure thing.

And I'll lift from with my hand up his asshole.

What? Why?

So she don't hurt her back. Why do you think?

-[gerbil squeaks] -Wait a minute.

You're not Denise.

Denise is a brunette! What's that in your hand?

-Nothin'! -I need a cop over here!

-Let's book! -[pants]

-Ew! Gross! -[pants]

Get that weed in your butt! [meows]

[Phineas] This is it. The ultimate high!

I'll see you on the other side, boys.

[lighter clicks]

[inhales, exhales]

[magical jingling]

-[inhales, exhales] -[magical jingling]

-[inhales, exhales] -[magical jingling]

-[inhales, exhales] -[rumbling]

["Magic Carpet Ride" playing]

♪ I like to dream ♪

♪ Yes, yes, right between The sound machine ♪

♪ On a cloud of sound I drift in the night ♪

♪ Any place it goes is right... ♪

[tires screech]

♪ Goes far, flies near

♪ To the stars away from here ♪

♪ Well, you don't know

♪ What we can find

♪ Why don't you come with me Little girl ♪

♪ On a magic carpet ride

♪ Well, you don't know what ♪

♪ We can see

♪ Why don't you tell Your dreams to me ♪

♪ Fantasy will set you free ♪

["All Along the Watchtower" playing]

[screaming]

Damn lightweights. Y'all can't handle that shit.

[shrieks]

♪ I got so high, yeah ♪

♪ I got so high... ♪

[man] Gnarly.

♪ I can touch the sky... ♪

[woman] Bogus.

♪ I watch the clouds roll by... ♪

[man 2] As if.

♪ 'Cause I got so high... ♪

[woman 2] OMG!

♪ I got so high... ♪

-[woman 3] Zaddy! -♪ I got so high ♪

I'm a lot less stressed out,

now that we're allowed to smoke pot on our breaks.

[chuckles] Me too!

I can barely remember those unarmed civilians I shot.

[both sniff]

-I'm up. -I'm up.

I'm up.

[sniffs] Damn, that's ripe!

One of y'all Freaks need to take a shower.

-[knuckles crack] -Ultimate high, my giant b-hole.

[grunts] All we did was fall asleep.

How long were we out?

If I had to guess, and I am good at guessing,

probably an hour.

Ah! I could use a few more winks.

I'm gonna go up to bed.

I'm hungry.

I feel like I haven't eaten in 50 years.

I gotta take a shit.

Oh, okay! I guess I'll clean up this nasty ass basement

by my damn self!

[vacuum cleaner whirs]

[lips smacking]

-How ya doing? -[screams]

-How ya doing? -[screams]

[farts]

[Phineas grunting]

-How ya doing? -[screams]

[all screaming]

-[hisses] -[whimpers]

Please don't kill us!

We voted for bond measure nine to increase shelters!

My God, Noah, at least pretend to be a threat.

Uh, listen, folks, we have an open door policy,

but the one thing we do not tolerate is

-tripping squares. -Yeah.

And what'd you do to our pad?

You gotta ask before messing with our house, lady!

Your house? All right. That's it.

I'm calling the police.

Harper, these guys clearly aren't dangerous.

I don't believe I've had the pleasure.

Freewheelin' Franklin Freak.

Oh, I'm Gretchen, her sister. Don't hold it against me.

-I live in the guest house. -Okay, that's enough!

You get away from her! Move, move, come on.

Oh, somebody's jealous!

Um, sorry, that's a Sambonet Conca Gio tablespoon.

It's not meant for frozen food.

-I don't mind. -Noah, step back!

[screaming]

[Kitty] This bitch sprayin' bullshit!

I'll be damned if that crazy bitch get me.

[shrieks]

Jesus, Harper! Gestapo much?

What's going on down there?

Your mother just pepper sprayed three houseless people.

Really, Mom? I've got two AP tests

and a travel soccer game tomorrow!

What the fuck just happened?

Wait! Sorry about my sister.

You guys look like you could use a little help.

[groaning]

And it so happens to be what I do for a living.

-Call me. -Ah. Gretchen Morris,

Housing Ad-vo-cah-tay, uh, and Attorney at Law.

What a beautiful name.

If you need anything, I represent the downtrodden.

Don't hesitate to call.

And you call me if you need anything,

you know, like if you wanna cuddle

or, you know, just, uh, get after it.

-[chuckles] -What the hell is going on?

Did we just get thrown out of our own house?

That ain't our house.

Look at, it's, uh... nice.

It's not just our house.

-Everything seems different. -[helicopters whirring]

What makes you say that?

-[munches] -Excuse me.

Why aren't out with your hairy,

-maladjusted compatriots? -[gulps]

They ain't got food. You do.

Too whit, you seem to be

inadvertently eating from my bowl.

[grunts]

-All yours, chief. -It's pronounced Chomsky.

[sniffs, groans]

It feels like San Francisco.

But it don't feel like San Francisco.

-[cellphone ringing] -[camera clicks]

There's nobody driving that car! I'm freaking out here!

Excuse me, lady? Where are we?

Ma'am? Ma'am? Can you help us?

Cardi B. OMG.

-LOL. -[cellphone chimes]

-What? -LOL.

-[cellphone chimes] -LOL.

What the fuck are you talking about? Hello?

What are those glowy rectangles they're staring at?

-Are they Pop-Tarts? -God, dammit, Freddy.

You think everything's a Pop-Tart!

-That's why you ate my wallet! -Knock it off, you two.

I know what's going on.

There's been a machine take over.

Those glowy little boxes have wiped their minds clean.

You're right! I saw this on the Twilight Zone.

Robot! Play it cool, fellas.

Hello, gentlemen. Are you in need of assistance?

W-- Why do you say that, robot sir?

You seem a little disoriented.

No, no, no! No cause for alarm. We're-- We're very oriented.

-Aren't-- Aren't we, fellas? -Yeah!

We're on our way to Chinatown right now.

Yeah! Chinatown.

-LOL, OMG, LOL! -OMG, LOL.

-Oh, LOL to you, good sir. -Oh. OMG, LOL.

That was a close one. [exhales]

-We gotta find somewhere safe. -I can keep you safe.

Safeguard your assets. I'm the harbor in a storm.

-You can keep us safe? -Fuck yeah! I'm the man.

He's a man! Not a machine!

[man] Here's the bottom line, Jacko.

All you gotta do is stick with me.

You heard him, Jackos. We're stickin' with him.

He's obviously part of the resistance.

[upbeat music playing]

[elevator dings]

Hey. Shh. Get down. Get down.

-What the hell's going on? -Shh. He's coming.

-Who's coming? -The killer!

A killer? You mean a machine?

Yeah, he's a machine. Took down 30 million last year.

Thirty million dead.

I saw this coming years ago.

We meet our doom in the Age of the Machine.

[Alexa] Playing "Paging the Machine."

["Paging the Machine" playing]

Oh, shit! The machines found us!

-It's an ambush! -We shall not go quietly!

Make a stand, boys. Kick 'em in their motherboards!

-Every machine dies! -[screams]

[horns honking]

Die, robot, die!

[crowd screaming]

Come on, machine! Want some of this?

[grunts, screams]

Whoa! How many people did you eat?

[elevator dings]

[man over speech-generating device] Am I late?

He's here! The killer machine.

Get that fuckin' cyborg.

[man] I am not a cyborg.

I am Bob Pimko from the junk bond division.

You're dead, Pimko!

[groans] He's killin' me, boys.

Save me. Save me!

-Get off our friend... -[Bob] Oh, no.

...you binary bastard!

[Bob] Oh, no! Please stop!

Apply brake! Apply brake!

-[thudding] -[Bob] Ouch.

[music stops]

-Good job, fellas. -[elevator dings]

[sniffs]

Is this my surprise birthday party?

Where is everybody?

They ran out to escape the robots.

But don't worry, we killed 'em all.

Good and dead.

What? Those aren't robots. Those were my appliances!

My juicer!

My espresso maker with adjustable frother!

Appliances? But they were talking.

Yeah! Welcome to the year 2020.

2020?

What do you mean?

It's 2020!

We're in the future!

-There's cake! -Whoa! Check it out!

My bros got me a blimp for my birthday!

Oh, I gotta get a selfie with the blimp.

Where's the blimp? Where's the blimp?

-There's the blimp! -[screams]

Maybe here in the future, people can live

-through something like that. -[thudding]

[glass shattering]

-[tires screeching] -[car horns honking]

Maybe not.

Ooh! Pop-Tart.

[elevator dings]

-[camera clicks] -[cellphone ringing]

[whimpers] I wanna go back to 1969.

You screwed us again, Phineas. You and your ultimate high.

You kicked us 50 years in the future.

I can get us back. Don't forget,

I have a high school degree in chemistry.

I have a middle school degree in sharing.

I'll reverse engineer the Swami's sauce

through a chemical process

you couldn't even begin to understand, and voila!

We're back in 1969.

Probably some of that sauce

still back in our basement, right?

Right. But first, we're gonna need some weed

to sprinkle it on.

Would it be possible to aim your nail shavings

away from my sleeping quarters?

Um, maybe you didn't get the memo?

What? You can't do that!

Can and did.

Now, I got a question for you. Where's your weed at?

-I need to smoke up. -Oh, I don't touch the stuff.

I had a puff once and thought I was being followed

by a bulldog for a week.

I don't know why I even bother with you.

I'm taking my ass to Ramon's corner.

Mm. Voila!

Mary Jane.

First name Mary, uh, last name Jane.

Uh, anyone seen her? [chuckles]

Cat Nip. First name Cat, last name Nip.

Tickets to Jamaica? Anyone?

To Jamaica, know what I mean?

-Know what I mean? -I don't get it.

Ramon's corner always had action.

Maybe a little less so after you killed him.

I hate the future!

We got a respectable family livin' in our house!

Personal hygiene seems to be back in a big way.

And worst of all, you can't find weed anywhere!

Try in there, genius.

[all] "Marijuana Dispensary"? Ooh!

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪

[all] Shangri-La!

Are you're telling me weed is legal?

-Give me, give me, give me. -Of course it's legal!

♪ Are you ready for an edible? ♪

[all] ♪ Ready as we can be

♪ Are you ready for an edible? ♪

[all] ♪ Weed will set you free

-♪ You can eat it -[all] ♪ Eat it

-♪ Smoke it -[all] ♪ Smoke it

-♪ Vape it -[all] ♪ Vape it?

[all] ♪ Toke it ♪ And get ready, ready, ready ♪

♪ Ready for an edible

Ha, ha, hey!

[salesgirl] ♪ Greens that grow Right in the ground ♪

-♪ Nature's own supply ♪ -♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Dry it out and roll it up

♪ It will get you high

[choir] ♪ It will get you high

♪ Mankind loves that holy leaf ♪

♪ Gives us all That sweet relief ♪

♪ Bless Holy Mother, Mary Jane ♪

[choir] ♪ Blessed Mary Jane ♪

♪ Blessed be the Freaks ♪

-♪ Are you ready? ♪ -[choir] ♪ Ready, ready, ready

♪ Ready for an edible

♪ Dope will get you Through times of no money ♪

[choir] ♪ No money

♪ More than money Buys you time ♪

-[all] ♪ With no dope ♪ -No dope.

♪ You can smoke with your mama Smoking with your poppa ♪

♪ Or at Vatican with the pope

[choir] ♪ Vatican with the pope

♪ I'm Freddy and I'm ready

[all] ♪ Ready for an edible

[all groaning]

I'm being fucked by electricity!

[all groaning]

♪ Hey, Did you hear my vibrato? ♪

[burps]

Well, look on the bright side.

Dope will get you through times of no money better than money

will get you through times of no dope.

[man] Oh, hell yeah, dude.

-I hear that! -You dudes wanna buy some weed?

Eh. We don't have any money.

Hey, man. No judgments here. We actually don't have any weed.

-[chuckle] -[chuckles] I forgot!

Yeah, we don't have any weed right now.

Yeah, cops took it when they busted our asses.

What'd you get busted for?

Uh, selling weed.

Wh-- I thought that was legal now.

[both] Right?

We're under false arrest.

Did you guys have your own weed store?

Yeah, we did!

[Kitty] Store?

It's a damn lemonade stand for ganja.

Cops said we need a license.

I said, "Hey, man,

if you don't need a license to drive,

why do you need a license to sell schwag?"

[chuckles] Dude, it's true. He totally said that to the cop.

It was sick. It was worth the mace for sure.

It was worth the mace.

If only we woulda videoed it, it woulda made a cool TikTok.

-Dang! -Oh, these boys are hella dumb!

Y'all may have found some people stupider than you!

So we're still stuck in the same place.

We don't have money, we don't have dope.

I'll tell you what I have. [scoffs]

I have eyes on that shorthair tabby cat

licking its paws at me from the drunk tank.

Dude's hung like a longhair. I'm gonna go get me some.

[purrs]

You know, it's funny.

It seems like only yesterday that we were back in the '60s,

and everything was going to shit all around us,

and all we wanted to do was smoke weed and escape.

And now we're in 2020

and things have gone completely to shit,

and all we want to do is smoke weed and escape.

Are-- Are you, uh, meandering towards a point?

I ate six pounds of edibles, what do you want from me, huh?

Little tip, guys. If you're gonna make a fake ID,

don't say you were born in the 1940s.

That'd make you 80 years old.

I guess technically we are.

You're charged with vandalism, creating a public nuisance

and destruction of private property.

What about the police lady I bit?

-Hush up. -I thought she was a Pop-Tart!

Your bail's been set.

-You get one phone call. -We told you!

We're from the past. We don't know anybody.

We do know one person.

How much is their bail?

-Ten thousand dollars. -Ten thousand dollars?

You can buy a house for ten thousand dollars!

Why so high? They're not serial killers.

I don't know what they are, lady.

[slurps]

[slurps]

Uh, Miss Gretchen? [chuckles] We're kinda tapped out.

If you could front us just a little or all of it.

I'm sorry, I don't have that kind of money.

[chuckles] Sounds like you Freaks are shit out of luck.

[Gretchen] But my sister Harper does.

And she left her credit card on the kitchen counter.

I can't wait to see her face when she gets the bill.

-[beeps] -Nice meeting you,

-Chuck and Charlie. -Latro, dudes!

Yo! Follow me on Instagram.

Stealing your sister's credit card

to bail us out of jail. I like this one.

I love her.

[radio static]

[officer over radio] All available units.

Requesting a large crane at the Millennium Highrise.

We got a quadriplegic stuck in a garbage chute.

Hey! You guys threw Bob Pimko down a garbage chute.

Uh, we should probably hustle on outta here. [chuckles]

[doorbell rings]

What the hell!

Harper, before you say anything, these are my clients

and I told them they can crash here.

-Uh, nope! -Come on! Be reasonable.

Reasonable?

Three unwashed stoners emerge from our basement,

claiming to be from 1969, and-- And the reasonable thing

to do is invite them to live with us?

Oh, now, don't worry. You won't even know we're here.

All right, outta my way. I gotta take a shit!

[theme music playing]

It's a good show!