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1
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:14,378
Oh! Sorry. Todd?
2
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:18,730
- Jaclyn.
- Hi. Hi... uh, wow, look at you!
3
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:22,647
And that... all of that.
What are you doing here?
4
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:25,172
I mean, it's f...
Funny seeing you here.
5
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,913
I... I thought you
had an apartment downtown.
6
00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:30,873
Uh... uh, we... we bought a
house around the corner.
7
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,440
For the schools.
8
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:34,920
Uh, you remember Gia, don't you?
9
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,009
Uh, yeah, last time I saw her,
10
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,663
her face was kinda covered by your crotch.
11
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:41,884
I heard you got married.
Congratulations.
12
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:42,928
Thank you.
13
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:43,929
Oh, that's sweet of you to say.
14
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,627
Thank you. Yeah, I'm a dad!
15
00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,195
Yeah! Yeah, how'd that happen?
16
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:50,240
I mean, I know how that happened.
17
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:53,504
Just you always said
you didn't want babies
18
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:54,897
when we were married.
19
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:58,553
Yeah.
Oh, turns out uh, I was wrong.
20
00:01:58,683 --> 00:01:59,510
Kids are great.
21
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,557
He's a great dad.
22
00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:04,124
Really happy for you guys.
23
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:07,039
Thank you. Uh, I couldn't be...
Well, we...
24
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:10,173
We couldn't be happier, you know?
25
00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:11,566
I'm living my best life.
26
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:12,610
Yeah, me, too.
27
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,395
Yeah. Alright.
28
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,701
Well, um, we should get going.
29
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,094
- Okay.
- Gotta get this in the ground.
30
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:19,878
- Yeah, yeah.
- You know? But it was really...
31
00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,532
- Dig it deep.
- It was great to...
32
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:22,707
- Oh, I...
- You know? Come on.
33
00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,492
Let's not smother the...
34
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,843
Really great.
35
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:28,887
Yeah.
36
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,238
So great to see you.
37
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,025
Can I help you?
38
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:41,204
Hi. Uh, yeah. Um, the...
I have a... there's a...
39
00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:42,814
I have this plant.
40
00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:46,209
Um, uh, I...
It's a dwarf tangerine
41
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,516
and I... I bought it here
a year ago, and it...
42
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,040
It's grown some, it just...
It doesn't grow any fruit.
43
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,869
And I've tried everything,
even like a citrus stake.
44
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,566
I think it's growing great!
45
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:58,743
These leaves are gorgeous and lush.
46
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:02,356
But you see this?
Something happened to it.
47
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:04,184
Disease? Trauma?
48
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:07,404
Is it gonna die?
49
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,972
No, no, it'll keep growing,
but it'll never bear fruit.
50
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:23,028
That was supposed to be me, you know?
51
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,596
- Yeah.
- He said, "Kids will change us."
52
00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,729
- "And I love us."
- Men ain't shit.
53
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,905
I thought he would change
when you had kids and...
54
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,994
Or my brother had kids,
55
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,996
and when his cousins had kids,
56
00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:37,042
and I waited, and I waited, and then...
57
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,915
He just didn't wanna have kids with me!
58
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:43,310
I know. And this is probably
the wrong time to say,
59
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,009
"I told you so," but, honey,
I've literally been telling you
60
00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:49,446
the exact same thing for 15 years.
61
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:52,797
I wasted all my good eggs on that asshole.
62
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,886
And now, I'm never gonna be a mom!
63
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,801
- No. Yes.
- I'm never gonna be a mom!
64
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,150
Yes, you are.
65
00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,152
You just...
You have to get back out there.
66
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,198
I am out there!
67
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,461
And it's like every good guy is married
68
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,681
or they don't wanna have kids.
69
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:09,423
Or... or... the older guys,
they already have kids
70
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,946
and don't wanna have any more.
71
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,296
Or the young guys,
they just wanna fuck a MILF.
72
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:16,081
But I'm not even a MILF, I'm just an ILF!
73
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,563
I just...
74
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:22,131
I just wanna skip the dating part
75
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,654
and get to the mom part.
I just...
76
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,874
No.
No, don't skip the dating part.
77
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:28,224
The dating part is where
all the good fun sex happens.
78
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,313
You know, when you...
When you get to the mom part,
79
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,489
it's just you know,
scheduled sex once a week
80
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:36,014
and the foreplay is
like he brushes his teeth.
81
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:37,581
That's me.
82
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,888
My mom was the best and she made me feel
83
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:43,108
like I could do anything.
84
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:47,374
And like I was exactly perfect
just the way I was.
85
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,811
I wanna do that for a little one.
86
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:53,075
I wanna be that mom for somebody.
87
00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,077
I don't know why you're trippin'.
88
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:57,297
You don't need a husband to have a baby.
89
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,342
No, that's true.
You can totally adopt!
90
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,605
Oh, although adoption is not cheap.
91
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:02,954
I have friends who did it and it's like...
92
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,608
It's like 40 grand all said and done.
93
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:06,131
Oh, fuck me!
94
00:05:06,262 --> 00:05:07,872
I wasn't talkin' about adoption.
95
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,092
Artificial insemination is worse.
96
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:12,790
Mike and Lydia, they went
through six IVF treatments
97
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:14,879
at 25 grand a pop.
98
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,577
Well, fuck me!
99
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:19,710
You don't have to buy it.
Just go and get some.
100
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:20,885
What? Where are you getting?
101
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:21,930
What?
102
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,932
You know, get some.
103
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,680
That's called "stealing sperm".
104
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,117
It's not stealing
if they freely give it away.
105
00:05:35,247 --> 00:05:37,424
Condoms break.
106
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,469
Accidents happen.
107
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,601
Especially if you plan 'em.
108
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,126
No, that insane.
You can't do that.
109
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:46,128
You can't just...
110
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:49,392
Although, I mean, if there...
111
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:53,440
No. It's just... it's wrong.
Is it... is it wrong?
112
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:56,834
I mean... I mean, it could work.
113
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,706
- Right.
- It could work.
114
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,142
What's happening right now?
115
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,057
I kinda think you're the devil.
116
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,451
But it is not the worst idea ever.
117
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,975
If you're talking about what
I think you're talking about,
118
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,977
then it is the worst idea.
119
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:11,458
It's the best worst idea.
120
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,242
How will he ever find out?
121
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,852
You know, I'm not going to call
him to tell him.
122
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:15,766
You guys aren't going to
call him and tell him.
123
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:17,115
I'm not calling him.
124
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,727
I mean, most guys ghost me anyway.
125
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,817
And this time, I want him to ghost me.
126
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:26,864
And he gets to have sex with
you and you get a baby.
127
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,779
Win-win.
Waa-waa.
128
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,912
Okay, I think you guys
are forgetting something.
129
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,653
Right, um-um.
130
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:35,090
What if the sperm is slow
or he's shooting blanks?
131
00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:36,134
Huh, we'll have a back up.
132
00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:37,832
I'm thinking two, maybe three.
133
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,747
We gotta flood the fallopian
tubes when the egg drops.
134
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,009
Yeah, yeah.
135
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,706
You're... you're talking
about an orgy?
136
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:45,448
It's like having three one-night
stands in the same night.
137
00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:48,016
Okay.
138
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:52,150
Oh my god. No.
No, I can't do this.
139
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:53,761
This is crazy.
140
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:57,373
I don't want to just fuck
some rando to get a baby.
141
00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,289
That's why I can't go to the
sperm bank in the first place.
142
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,422
Besides from the fact
that it will bankrupt me.
143
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:07,296
I want to know that the father
of my child is a good person.
144
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,212
- Right? Yeah.
- You know? Like a kind person.
145
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:15,260
Ideally artistic and intelligent
and good sense of humor.
146
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,960
Argh, who the fuck am I kidding?
147
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,832
I'll just freeze my eggs
until I find Mr. Right.
148
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:27,838
Idea.
What if we found them for you?
149
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,291
Is there nuts in that?
150
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,337
Huh, I don't know.
151
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,774
I can put nuts in it for you.
Would you like that?
152
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,123
I can put nuts anywhere you'd like.
153
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:55,257
Okay, babe, shut it down.
We have guests.
154
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,042
Alright, but mom has the kids
so we will have time
155
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,218
for your special birthday treat later.
156
00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,306
Don't get too fucked up.
157
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,613
I won't. I have an idea though.
158
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:06,181
What if we just send all these jokers home
159
00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:09,010
and we have later now?
How about that?
160
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:11,839
All of our best friends,
you mean those jokers?
161
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,582
Well, what about her?
What about that joker?
162
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:16,757
I don't know her.
Who is she?
163
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,759
That's Jackie's friend from work.
164
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:20,587
- Oh, the lesbian.
- Yes.
165
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,241
Yeah. Why is she here?
166
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,548
She's Jackie's plus one.
167
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,637
Oh, okay. Oh! Are they-?
168
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,378
No. What? Just-
169
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,858
Well, why... why is Jackie
coming?
170
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,207
Because she is like family.
171
00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:33,643
Is she like family though?
172
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,081
I don't know. Maybe I just had
it in my head
173
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:40,737
that we were going to take a
Jackie break after thanksgiving.
174
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:43,914
Alright, she had just found out
that Todd was getting remarried.
175
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,786
- I know.
- Just found out.
176
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,527
Believe me.
I was sympathetic
177
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,485
with all the crying and the carrying on.
178
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,748
But did she have to teach
our six-year-old about blowjobs?
179
00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:53,402
- She did-
- All about blowjobs?
180
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,621
She didn't hear the whole thing.
181
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,884
- Soup to nuts.
- She didn't-No, no.
182
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,363
Maybe the soup but not the nuts.
183
00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:00,278
That's not even our job to do that.
184
00:09:00,409 --> 00:09:02,629
- Alright, you know what?
- It's the internet's job.
185
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,892
You will barely know that she is here.
186
00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:11,333
Okay.
187
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:16,294
I can do this.
188
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,948
It's just casual sex.
189
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:19,254
I can do that.
190
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:20,647
I can totally do that.
191
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:24,302
The table looks great.
192
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,391
Wait, why are the desserts out already?
193
00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:31,309
Do you guys have everything you need?
194
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,877
Yes, we do honey. Thank you.
195
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,792
- Hi.
- Hey, whose playlist is this?
196
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,185
These are Geoff's favorite songs.
197
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,316
Oh god.
198
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:44,671
- Nope, can't do it.
- No, Jaclyn.
199
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,324
No, stop, stop, stop, stop.
200
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:47,848
No, no, no, no, no, no.
201
00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:49,806
On paper, this all sounded great.
202
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,548
But now that I'm actually here,
I can't. I can't do it.
203
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,724
Okay, well, just listen.
I will 100% agree.
204
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,508
But please don't leave me here.
205
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:59,250
I- If I have to have one more
conversation about IPOs,
206
00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:00,512
I will murder someone.
207
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:01,644
Hold on, what's going on?
208
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:02,906
She's reconsidering.
209
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:04,255
No, no, no.
You cannot back out.
210
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:06,170
Yes, I can.
Because this is crazy.
211
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:08,042
Yes, it is crazy.
212
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,087
Like Uber Eats and Standing Desk.
213
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,916
But crazy can be genius.
Great dress.
214
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,309
Yeah.
You don't think it's too much?
215
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,137
- It's very good. Oh.
- It's gonna get the job done.
216
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,705
No, ah!
Huh, I was gonna return it.
217
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,750
Oh, oops. I'm sorry.
218
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,578
$450?
219
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,145
See?
That's what I'm talking about.
220
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,234
This dress is not me.
221
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:28,323
Sleeping with three guys is not me.
222
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:31,718
Okay, it is not you.
That's clear.
223
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,197
Now, is this how you wanna have
a kid? No.
224
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,112
But is this the only option?
Yes.
225
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,506
Okay? We did our part.
You gotta do your part.
226
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:42,250
You promise that there's no way
they can find me afterwards.
227
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,295
No, you just need to make sure
that no one figures out
228
00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:45,732
what you're doing tonight.
229
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,995
Because I will 100%
throw you under the bus
230
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:51,302
if Geoff finds out that I was part-Hi.
231
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,913
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
232
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,479
Jackie, good to see you again.
233
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:58,440
Yeah, you too. Happy birthday.
It's a book.
234
00:10:58,570 --> 00:10:59,789
Could've sworn it was a canoe.
235
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,924
It's signed to you.
236
00:11:04,054 --> 00:11:05,360
Oh, wow. Thank you.
237
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:06,927
Oh, and isn't it lint?
238
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:08,842
I mean, didn't you give up
refined sugar last year?
239
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,366
I thought you did. What are
you giving up this year?
240
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:14,369
I'm just giving up.
241
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:18,155
- Okay.
- He's literally just turning 45.
242
00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:19,287
- I know, right?
- Thank you so much.
243
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:20,897
I mean, what's the matter with me?
244
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,900
Doom and gloom here.
Here, let me take this.
245
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,293
Here, you put this up.
246
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,121
Oh my gosh.
Yes, I would love to.
247
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,470
It'd be my pleasure.
248
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,691
Is he okay?
249
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,127
He's fine.
250
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,433
None of the men in his family
lived past 88.
251
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,697
So, now he thinks
he's in a downfall spiral.
252
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:42,397
I thought you said this was
gonna be a big shin dick.
253
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:43,703
Yeah, well, it turns out
254
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:45,356
Geoff doesn't have enough
friends to make it
255
00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:46,706
a shin dicks.
256
00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,797
Well, someone's gonna notice.
257
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:51,972
Too late for that now
258
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:55,540
because donor number one is ready to play.
259
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:56,585
So, are you ready?
260
00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:00,676
Well, my ovulation app says it's go time.
261
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,591
Go on then. Seize the day.
262
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,862
Hi.
263
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,824
Hi.
264
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:22,829
- Hi.
- I'm MJ. What's going on?
265
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,528
Did you know this was a birthday party?
266
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,095
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
267
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,487
Oh, okay.
268
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,228
I kind of really don't know why I'm here.
269
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:34,101
I'm not even that good friends
with Amandine
270
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,364
or at all, actually.
271
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,932
Well, you can I can be friends.
272
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,281
Wow, thank you.
273
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,458
Friends with benefits, if you want.
274
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:49,856
- Okay.
- Um, so MJ, huh,
275
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,074
that's not short for Maryjane, is it?
276
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:55,122
No, no. I wish.
277
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,385
Actually, no. I don't wish that
my name was Maryjane.
278
00:12:57,515 --> 00:12:58,734
- No.
- No.
279
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:02,042
And my MJ is for Morris Jerusalem.
280
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,479
Morris is my mother's grandfather's name.
281
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:07,090
And Jerusalem is the city
where I was conceived.
282
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,049
- Oh, that's nice.
- I often say,
283
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,442
well, thank goodness that I
wasn't conceived in Frankfurt
284
00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:14,271
because then I'd be quite an MF.
285
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,145
- Guys.
- Hi.
286
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:19,799
You want to try some of this?
It's pretty good.
287
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:22,497
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm taking an Uber later.
288
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,716
And I like to be of sound mind when I'm
289
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,544
in a car with a stranger.
290
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,982
Okay, well, you have got to try this.
291
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,680
- It's a Syrah.
- Okay.
292
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,552
Give it a shot.
Tell me what you think.
293
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,946
Not bad, right?
294
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,382
- Yeah.
- Almost makes up for the fact
295
00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,863
that they call it Syrah Syrah.
296
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:45,825
My ex-wife was the regional
sales manager for the state.
297
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:49,524
Um, she ran off with the sommally...
298
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:51,439
The sommally-the fucking wine guy.
299
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:52,309
She ran off with the wine guy.
300
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,833
Ah, got you.
301
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,747
- Yeah.
- Should I spit it out?
302
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,662
Would you please?
It would make me feel so good.
303
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,492
- I'm Armin by the way.
- Hi.
304
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,190
Hey. You're Molly's friend?
305
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,670
The one who works for Jennifer
Aniston's charity, right?
306
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:08,195
Oh, I actually did
the Standee for you guys.
307
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:10,371
Yeah, my company-Hey, my company works...
308
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,547
We actually make those cardboard standees
309
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:16,246
that, you know, you can sit on
star's lab in a movie lobby?
310
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:17,247
- Yeah.
- That's cool.
311
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:18,466
Yeah. So, wait.
312
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:20,903
So you know Amandine as well?
313
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:22,905
Uh, she's just a work friend.
314
00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:25,690
I mean, ypou know, she wouldn't
know where I live
315
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,257
or anything like that.
316
00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:28,911
Actually, I don't even work there anymore.
317
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:32,306
I'm moving away to another city far away.
318
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,309
Wow. So, Jen is more "Horrible
bosses"
319
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:36,876
than Rachel in real life. Noted.
320
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:38,747
No, no, no. She's great.
321
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,141
It's just I needed a challenge.
322
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:43,317
Wanted to mix things up a bit, so...
323
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:46,276
You know what? I think that is
so healthy to shift gears.
324
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,670
Geoff and I-Well actually,
most of the guys here,
325
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:49,758
we had a start up.
326
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,542
Not like Amazon or anything.
327
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,893
But once I got big enough,
I had to sell it.
328
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,025
Now, I can kind of do whatever
I want. It's pretty cool.
329
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,331
- Yeah. That's nice.
- Yeah.
330
00:14:57,461 --> 00:14:58,723
Yeah, that's really cool.
331
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,683
I actually put money
into GameStop as well.
332
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,815
I don't know, well, and I made $3700.
333
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,208
Nice, buddy.
334
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:06,209
- Yeah, thanks.
- It's pretty good.
335
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:07,341
So, it's like, saying...
336
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:10,735
Now I got a lot of free time,
get to travel.
337
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:13,477
Which I love so much. I was
working so much before.
338
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:14,739
Right, I guess.
339
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,525
Takes a minute to start up.
340
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:20,006
Oh yeah. I mean, all I did was
code, code, code
341
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,964
and pound energy drinks.
342
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:23,052
That's why I'm trying
to see as much as the world-
343
00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:25,663
I'm so sorry.
It's just my
344
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,709
mom broke her hip.
345
00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:28,884
- Oh my god.
- Oh my god.
346
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,234
I'm just dealing with my brothers.
347
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,367
We're trying to figure out if
we should put her in our home.
348
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:34,890
Oh, let me know if you need any help or-
349
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,805
Nope, done. Done.
350
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,633
- Oh, great.
- I'm sorry, you were saying?
351
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:40,113
Love to travel.
352
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:41,288
- I have a lot of time.
- I'm scared of planes.
353
00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:42,985
To do that. But um-
354
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:44,291
She's gonna bail.
355
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:46,380
Well, it sounded to me
356
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:48,425
like you didn't want her
to go through with it.
357
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,036
It's not true.
358
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:52,560
But do you know how hard it is
to find a single man
359
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,997
who is disease free in the
suburbs? I just-
360
00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:56,999
I don't want to disappoint them.
361
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,960
It is possible that I may have told them
362
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,005
that I have a friend in need of a-
363
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:05,486
Like, a confidence boost.
364
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,922
So you're more worried about
365
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,750
your guys friends being
happy than your best friend?
366
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,971
Okay, well call it a win-win situation.
367
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,668
I mean, what's so wrong
with having a plan B?
368
00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:14,669
Oh, I've got a plan B.
369
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,018
I've got a plan C.
370
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:18,455
Because the plan is to get her the D.
371
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:19,630
What is it?
372
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:24,157
- What is that?
- It's molly.
373
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:25,723
I don't-
374
00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,203
MDMA.
375
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:28,726
- I don't under-
- E.
376
00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:29,684
I don't know what you're saying.
377
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,642
Ecst-Ecstasy.
378
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:33,557
- I know that one.
- Ecstasy, yes.
379
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,124
Just enough to prime the pump.
380
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,647
Okay.
381
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:39,955
Oh, donor number three.
382
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,261
The French teacher whose wife just died.
383
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:42,392
Okay.
384
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:44,786
My friend getting pregnant tonight.
385
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,011
Top me off, will you?
386
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:54,709
Oh god, I thought you were the caterer.
387
00:16:54,839 --> 00:16:56,754
I am so sorry.
388
00:16:56,885 --> 00:16:59,366
Behind the table, cool outfit.
389
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:00,889
I can take it off.
390
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:03,326
Okay.
391
00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:08,331
More, more.
392
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,854
I like this one.
393
00:17:09,985 --> 00:17:13,902
It's floral and complex and yeasty.
394
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,561
Like a vagina?
395
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:25,261
I get a slightly different note.
396
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,611
It's got a really good mouth fill.
397
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,266
I could decant it for you.
398
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:31,615
Let it breathe.
399
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:36,794
Amadine.
400
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:37,969
Barbara.
401
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,363
That's a beautiful name.
402
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,844
Not my name. I hate my name.
403
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:45,629
I'll tell you what. How about
you give me your number
404
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,242
and I'll call you whatever
or whenever you want.
405
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,204
Balls.
406
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,642
Yo, Goeff. Can I grab you for
two, buddy?
407
00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:02,733
- Hi.
- Hey, what's up?
408
00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,257
What's up?
409
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:06,824
Were you just hitting on my sister?
410
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,044
Is that a real question?
411
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:12,917
Right, right.
412
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:17,183
Umm, it's just that she's been through
413
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:20,142
a really ugly
divorce recently. So...
414
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:22,318
So, you want me to sleep with your sister?
415
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:23,580
That's sweet of you.
416
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:26,583
No. No, no.
417
00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:28,324
No, I'm just-I'm worried.
418
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:30,065
I mean, you know, she's very-
419
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,764
she's not a lesbian.
420
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:36,245
Are you sure? Because, you know-
421
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,859
Would you mind not hitting on my sister
422
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,426
at my birthday party please?
423
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:44,688
I would mind.
424
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:47,343
But I won't.
425
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,215
It will be my present to you.
426
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:50,738
Wow, thank you so much.
427
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:53,044
- Happy birthday.
- Yeah, I'll treasure it.
428
00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,829
- You should.
- Have a great time.
429
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:56,657
- You too.
- Not too great.
430
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,233
Oh, shit. Oh shit.
431
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:09,322
- Oh shit.
- No one told me about this.
432
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,323
There's just no good-you know what?
433
00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:11,628
Every 10 minutes I have to go.
434
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:12,934
Sweetheart, you can get lasers.
435
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,718
It'll zip that right back up.
436
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:16,459
Yeah, it's called a mommy makeover.
437
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:19,593
They stick a laser up there
and just tighten it all up.
438
00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:21,986
It went from Basset Hound
to Chihuahua. Worth every penny.
439
00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,381
Stop.
440
00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:27,035
You know it's true.
441
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,125
You got kids?
442
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:32,649
- No.
- Husband?
443
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,129
Not anymore.
444
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,870
You should keep your distance.
445
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,002
You might get baby fever.
446
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,440
I'm not kidding.
Happened to me.
447
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:41,745
All my friends started having kids.
448
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,834
I thought I should have kids.
449
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,662
All these friends,
450
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:47,882
they're gonna be gone
once she pops a baby out.
451
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,666
She'll make new friends.
452
00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:51,451
The kids' friend's parents.
453
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,453
And she'll think
she has new "interests."
454
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:56,586
But they're really the kids' interests.
455
00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:59,415
And when the kids graduate, poof, gone so.
456
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:02,766
All these people she
invested all her time with,
457
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:06,161
she'll realize she has
nothing in common with them.
458
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:08,685
And then she'll realize that her husband
459
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:10,165
is staying too late at work.
460
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:13,516
So, she'll shoot her face fill with Botox,
461
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,126
get a boob job.
462
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:16,258
Get a mommy makeover?
463
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:17,955
Exactly.
464
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:20,697
To chase what she used to look like.
465
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:24,614
Before the kids literally
suck the life out of her.
466
00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:27,226
Instead, she'll just look like
she's trying too hard.
467
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,489
And he'll leave her for
an actual 20-year-old.
468
00:20:29,619 --> 00:20:30,925
Who loves giving blowjobs?
469
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:33,449
Fucking blowjobs.
470
00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:37,497
All because she thought
it'd make her life complete
471
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,238
- to have a baby.
- Oh, no, no.
472
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:42,241
That's got Molly's lipstick on it.
473
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,417
- I think this is your shade.
- Thank you.
474
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:47,768
I mean, you don't regret
having babies, right?
475
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,552
Oh, no. God, no.
476
00:20:49,683 --> 00:20:51,641
They're the loves of my life.
477
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:54,122
As much as I hate my ex,
I'll always be grateful to him
478
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,950
for giving me my babies.
479
00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:59,823
Listen to me, don't listen to me.
480
00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:01,347
I just need to get laid.
481
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,264
Okay.
We get what you wish for.
482
00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:10,181
On that note, I think I'm ready.
483
00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:12,749
- Alright.
- Do you snorkle?
484
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,969
No, I never get into the ocean.
485
00:21:15,099 --> 00:21:16,971
Oh god, what do I say?
486
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:19,713
Tell him how wet your pussy is.
They love that.
487
00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:21,845
I hate that word.
488
00:21:21,976 --> 00:21:22,933
Pussy?
489
00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:23,934
Yeah.
490
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:25,371
What do you say?
491
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,416
I don't.
492
00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:30,463
So, when you told Todd to like-
493
00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:32,465
Oh, we didn't talk during-
494
00:21:33,857 --> 00:21:35,946
Or before.
495
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,819
Or after.
496
00:21:38,949 --> 00:21:40,821
Oh God.
497
00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:42,475
Okay, so tonight,
498
00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:45,565
you're gonna say some nasty pornstar shit.
499
00:21:45,695 --> 00:21:47,523
Just get disgusting.
500
00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:50,047
Yeah, but that's not me.
501
00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:53,268
I know that's not you.
But tonight, you're not you.
502
00:21:53,399 --> 00:21:56,663
Okay? You're not the NPR-loving,
farmer's market going,
503
00:21:56,793 --> 00:21:58,012
avocado toast eating Jaclyn.
504
00:21:58,142 --> 00:21:59,274
You're gonna be something different.
505
00:21:59,405 --> 00:22:01,755
You're the Onlyfans, like Jacklina.
506
00:22:01,885 --> 00:22:03,496
You're gonna be a slut tonight, okay?
507
00:22:03,626 --> 00:22:04,540
Yeah, okay. Okay.
508
00:22:04,671 --> 00:22:06,063
You're a slut.
509
00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:07,891
- Well, huh.
- Slut. Slut
510
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:11,068
- Really?
- Yeah.
511
00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:12,461
You've never been to swimming?
- Hey. Hey. Hi.
512
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,508
You like surfing?
513
00:22:15,638 --> 00:22:17,727
Huh, no, I would never surf.
514
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,383
So, you'd never-you just... you
never do it?
515
00:22:21,514 --> 00:22:23,342
No, I'm scared of sharks.
516
00:22:23,472 --> 00:22:25,082
There is great white sharks
that you should be scared of.
517
00:22:25,213 --> 00:22:26,562
But they're east coast, man.
518
00:22:28,521 --> 00:22:29,173
All the west coast sharks
are white sharks.
519
00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:30,740
I got you, girl.
520
00:22:30,871 --> 00:22:31,872
Cuddly nice sharks.
521
00:22:32,002 --> 00:22:34,222
You gotta get out there.
522
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,615
Geoff is over there.
523
00:22:35,745 --> 00:22:37,312
- Geoff?
- I'm Shopia.
524
00:22:37,443 --> 00:22:38,400
Excuse me.
525
00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:39,793
Okay. Am I in trouble?
526
00:22:39,923 --> 00:22:41,098
No.
527
00:22:45,581 --> 00:22:48,062
Ugh, God, I need a drink.
528
00:22:48,192 --> 00:22:50,281
Your glass is right there, just...
529
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:55,852
Oh no, molly.
530
00:22:55,983 --> 00:22:56,810
Molly, that's Molly in there.
531
00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:58,072
You drank it all.
532
00:22:58,202 --> 00:22:59,334
That's all of it.
533
00:22:59,465 --> 00:23:00,814
It's gone.
534
00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,206
It's in your body now.
535
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,127
- Okay.
- Okay, wow.
536
00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:11,999
- Let's just-
- What?
537
00:23:13,783 --> 00:23:15,655
Don't need those.
538
00:23:15,785 --> 00:23:18,440
- Right, um.
- Yeah, so.
539
00:23:21,051 --> 00:23:22,792
Wow, that is-
540
00:23:22,923 --> 00:23:24,446
That is so tone.
541
00:23:24,577 --> 00:23:25,665
Oh, thank you.
542
00:23:25,795 --> 00:23:26,927
You do pilates?
543
00:23:27,057 --> 00:23:28,494
I do, yeah.
544
00:23:28,624 --> 00:23:29,799
I can tell, I can tell.
545
00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:31,932
You can touch it if you want.
546
00:23:32,062 --> 00:23:33,934
I would. I want.
547
00:23:34,064 --> 00:23:35,631
Okay.
548
00:23:35,762 --> 00:23:36,850
Alright.
549
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:41,507
Okay, you're sure that
you want me to do this?
550
00:23:41,637 --> 00:23:44,423
I think I couldn't be more clear.
551
00:23:44,553 --> 00:23:45,424
Yeah, I do.
552
00:23:45,554 --> 00:23:47,513
I do want you to do this.
553
00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:48,644
- Okay.
- Yeah.
554
00:23:48,775 --> 00:23:50,864
Okay. Great. I'll be over here.
555
00:23:50,994 --> 00:23:52,343
Okay.
556
00:23:52,474 --> 00:23:54,345
Oh, wait, I don't have
a condom or anything.
557
00:23:56,173 --> 00:23:57,087
You know, I don't want to
assume when I go out this-
558
00:23:57,218 --> 00:23:58,915
I just-it's just in the bag.
559
00:23:59,046 --> 00:24:01,657
There's a-Oh,
560
00:24:01,788 --> 00:24:04,355
do you have a medium?
561
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:05,835
- Here.
- Okay, wow.
562
00:24:05,966 --> 00:24:07,707
Wait, we should set the mood?
563
00:24:07,837 --> 00:24:10,753
I have Spotify premium, no ads.
564
00:24:10,884 --> 00:24:12,625
- We don't need that.
- I can put a slow jam playlist.
565
00:24:12,755 --> 00:24:13,800
Okay, wait.
566
00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:15,976
I've-I've never done this before.
567
00:24:16,106 --> 00:24:17,717
- Well, no, I mean I've had sex.
- Yeah, okay, good. That's great.
568
00:24:17,847 --> 00:24:20,328
You know, but-Not with people around.
569
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:21,895
It's just us here.
570
00:24:22,025 --> 00:24:23,374
Wait, that's not true.
That's not true.
571
00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:25,246
Actually when I was in college,
572
00:24:25,376 --> 00:24:26,508
my girlfriend and I, we went camping.
573
00:24:26,639 --> 00:24:27,596
Consensual.
574
00:24:27,727 --> 00:24:29,293
And-and-wow.
575
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:35,212
And there was a tent next to us.
576
00:24:35,343 --> 00:24:37,258
And there were people
having sex in there loudly.
577
00:24:37,388 --> 00:24:41,175
Say some pornstar nasty ass shit.
578
00:24:41,305 --> 00:24:42,481
It's not like-
579
00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:44,091
I will murder.
580
00:24:44,221 --> 00:24:45,179
They ruined our lives.
581
00:24:45,309 --> 00:24:46,441
Pussy.
582
00:24:46,572 --> 00:24:48,487
I want you to murder my pussy.
583
00:24:50,314 --> 00:24:51,228
Excuse me?
584
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:55,885
I want you to tell me. How
you're gonna murder my pussy?
585
00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:58,018
- Yeah.
- Okay.
586
00:24:58,148 --> 00:25:01,848
Well, I'll use my penis
to strangle it until it's dead.
587
00:25:04,633 --> 00:25:06,156
Yeah.
588
00:25:07,418 --> 00:25:08,463
No, this is weird.
589
00:25:08,594 --> 00:25:09,638
This is weird, I'm sorry I don't-
590
00:25:09,769 --> 00:25:10,813
I'm sorry.
591
00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:11,814
I don't talk like
that. I'm sorry.
592
00:25:11,945 --> 00:25:13,207
It's okay.
593
00:25:13,424 --> 00:25:16,210
I just thought talking dirty
would turn you on.
594
00:25:16,340 --> 00:25:20,040
I don't know what to do to turn you on.
595
00:25:21,432 --> 00:25:22,869
I don't know how to do this.
596
00:25:22,999 --> 00:25:24,000
Are you kidding me?
597
00:25:25,393 --> 00:25:26,829
You?
598
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,876
You do not have to use
any gimmicks to turn me on.
599
00:25:30,006 --> 00:25:32,705
Honestly, I would really just
love to kiss you.
600
00:25:32,835 --> 00:25:35,229
If that's okay.
601
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:36,491
Okay, yeah.
602
00:25:36,622 --> 00:25:38,101
Yeah.
603
00:25:38,232 --> 00:25:40,843
Yeah. I would love that.
604
00:25:54,378 --> 00:25:56,206
Hey you guys.
605
00:25:56,337 --> 00:25:57,468
Are you doing okay?
606
00:25:57,599 --> 00:25:59,558
Do you have everything you need?
607
00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:00,863
- Thank you so much.
- I want you
608
00:26:00,994 --> 00:26:01,864
to have the best time ever.
609
00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:04,171
Oh, thank you.
610
00:26:04,301 --> 00:26:08,131
Oh my god, baby.
611
00:26:08,262 --> 00:26:10,133
You guys look great together.
612
00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:13,267
It's just such a beautiful couple.
613
00:26:13,397 --> 00:26:15,399
Stay the night if you want.
Make yourselves at home.
614
00:26:15,530 --> 00:26:17,488
Hey girl, let me talk to you.
615
00:26:17,619 --> 00:26:19,490
Hey, come on over here.
616
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,102
- How are you feeling?
- Oh my gosh.
617
00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:23,582
I feel great.
618
00:26:23,712 --> 00:26:25,322
I love these people.
619
00:26:25,453 --> 00:26:27,890
These are-these are good people.
620
00:26:28,021 --> 00:26:30,197
- Yeah.
- Oh, I forgot.
621
00:26:30,327 --> 00:26:32,068
The donor number three cancelled.
622
00:26:32,199 --> 00:26:34,680
Who are you gonna get
to fill the empty slot?
623
00:26:34,810 --> 00:26:36,420
Her empty slot, like, a vagina?
624
00:26:38,814 --> 00:26:39,946
- That was good.
- Like, her vagina.
625
00:26:41,382 --> 00:26:42,601
I know a guy, I'll call him.
626
00:26:42,731 --> 00:26:44,646
But you need to sit down.
627
00:26:44,777 --> 00:26:47,736
Oh my god, you are such a good friend.
628
00:26:47,867 --> 00:26:49,956
You know, we should do things, you and me.
629
00:26:50,086 --> 00:26:52,785
It doesn't always have to be
the three of us.
630
00:26:52,915 --> 00:26:54,613
Right? Just call me, girl.
631
00:26:54,743 --> 00:26:56,179
And also, you're so pretty.
632
00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:58,181
I never told you that before.
633
00:26:58,312 --> 00:26:59,835
I want it, but I'm not going to.
634
00:26:59,966 --> 00:27:01,968
- You better not.
- Because I know I shouldn't.
635
00:27:02,098 --> 00:27:03,317
I'm doing the work.
636
00:27:03,447 --> 00:27:04,753
Good, good, okay.
637
00:27:04,884 --> 00:27:06,189
Do you wanna touch my hair?
638
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,017
My hair is so soft.
639
00:27:08,148 --> 00:27:12,805
I have a conditioner that costs $125.
640
00:27:12,935 --> 00:27:14,676
- That's a lot of money.
- That's so dumb.
641
00:27:14,807 --> 00:27:16,373
It's beautiful.
642
00:27:16,504 --> 00:27:19,202
Okay, I'm gonna go call my guy,
but you sit down, alright?
643
00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:21,204
Don't do a lot of things.
644
00:27:21,335 --> 00:27:22,945
Okay. I'll sit in my den.
645
00:27:23,076 --> 00:27:24,425
I have a great chair in there.
646
00:27:24,555 --> 00:27:25,905
- Lay out.
- It's fluffy.
647
00:27:26,035 --> 00:27:27,820
Hi, where's the closest bathroom?
648
00:27:27,950 --> 00:27:30,779
It's right over there.
Wow, your boobs got big.
649
00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:31,954
Do they hurt yet?
650
00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:33,826
They will.
When you start nursing.
651
00:27:33,956 --> 00:27:35,349
Are you gonna nurse?
652
00:27:35,479 --> 00:27:37,830
I loved nursing so much.
653
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,050
Oh my gosh. But it does hurt
when it chafes.
654
00:27:41,181 --> 00:27:43,487
And I got mastitis so bad one time,
655
00:27:43,618 --> 00:27:46,055
Geoff had to put
a hot compress on my boobs
656
00:27:46,186 --> 00:27:47,535
and milk me like a cow.
657
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,580
Oh, this is so much information.
658
00:27:51,060 --> 00:27:53,019
- Are you okay?
- Oh, no. They got better.
659
00:27:53,149 --> 00:27:55,369
Thank you for asking that.
660
00:27:55,499 --> 00:27:58,633
Hey, so... and the bathroom is
there. Thank you.
661
00:27:58,764 --> 00:28:00,766
Remember, breast feeding is best feeding.
662
00:28:02,855 --> 00:28:04,117
Okay.
663
00:28:11,777 --> 00:28:13,169
Hello?
664
00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:16,085
I'm almost done.
I'm almost done.
665
00:28:16,216 --> 00:28:17,391
Okay.
666
00:28:17,521 --> 00:28:19,219
Well, pregnant lady needs to pee-pee.
667
00:28:21,438 --> 00:28:23,310
I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
668
00:28:26,269 --> 00:28:27,444
Okay.
669
00:28:28,619 --> 00:28:30,534
I'll find another.
670
00:28:30,665 --> 00:28:31,666
Good luck with that.
671
00:28:40,806 --> 00:28:42,982
- That was fun.
- Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
672
00:28:44,505 --> 00:28:45,506
Okay.
673
00:28:47,377 --> 00:28:49,162
Oh no. Oh no.
674
00:28:49,292 --> 00:28:50,772
What?
675
00:28:50,903 --> 00:28:51,947
The condom broke.
676
00:28:53,906 --> 00:28:55,646
Oh, no. Oh.
677
00:28:55,777 --> 00:28:56,822
Oh my god.
I'm so, so, sorry.
678
00:28:56,952 --> 00:28:58,519
I don't know how this happened.
679
00:28:58,649 --> 00:28:59,738
You know maybe-
680
00:28:59,868 --> 00:29:01,261
Maybe you're just-
681
00:29:01,391 --> 00:29:02,871
You're too big and the condom burst.
682
00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:06,266
That's the nicest thing
anyone has ever said to me.
683
00:29:07,658 --> 00:29:09,008
This is just-
684
00:29:09,138 --> 00:29:11,184
I'm on the pills, it was just-
685
00:29:11,314 --> 00:29:13,534
You know, in case of STDs.
686
00:29:13,664 --> 00:29:15,231
Oh, don't worry about that.
I'm clean.
687
00:29:15,362 --> 00:29:16,972
I give my blood to Quest all the time.
688
00:29:17,103 --> 00:29:19,061
They should give me a punch card.
689
00:29:19,192 --> 00:29:20,976
What?
690
00:29:21,107 --> 00:29:22,891
Oh, I have a blood disorder.
691
00:29:24,545 --> 00:29:27,200
What? Like, are you a
hemophiliac or-?
692
00:29:27,330 --> 00:29:29,855
No, no.
I just bruise really easily.
693
00:29:29,985 --> 00:29:31,857
You know? Oh, up here.
694
00:29:31,987 --> 00:29:33,206
See that?
695
00:29:33,423 --> 00:29:35,512
That's from a collision
with a shopping cart.
696
00:29:35,643 --> 00:29:38,646
Oh, thank god. For you.
697
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:39,821
Yeah.
698
00:29:39,952 --> 00:29:41,475
It's pretty funny actually.
699
00:29:41,605 --> 00:29:43,477
Child protective services
used to call my parents
700
00:29:43,607 --> 00:29:44,695
all the time.
701
00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:46,001
Yeah.
702
00:29:48,438 --> 00:29:50,223
Why don't you go first.
And then I'll come later.
703
00:29:50,353 --> 00:29:52,573
Just so it's not so conspicuous.
704
00:29:58,187 --> 00:29:59,319
- Oh, you mean now?
- Yeah.
705
00:29:59,449 --> 00:30:01,408
Okay.
706
00:30:08,284 --> 00:30:10,983
- Hey, it's me, Amandine.
- Oh, okay.
707
00:30:18,599 --> 00:30:19,774
Okay.
708
00:30:19,905 --> 00:30:21,776
Getting a little help from gravity.
709
00:30:21,907 --> 00:30:23,256
Listen, I totally appreciate
you finding him.
710
00:30:23,386 --> 00:30:24,561
He was super right.
711
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:26,302
But did you know that
he had a blood disorder?
712
00:30:26,476 --> 00:30:29,523
Okay, getting a full DNA workup
was not on the checklist.
713
00:30:29,653 --> 00:30:31,830
But on a related note,
donor number three did cancel.
714
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:33,483
Oh, the French teacher?
715
00:30:33,701 --> 00:30:35,137
- Oui.
- Crap, he sounded promising.
716
00:30:35,268 --> 00:30:36,660
Well, on an unrelated note,
717
00:30:36,878 --> 00:30:39,185
there might be a little
itsy-bitsy problem with Molly.
718
00:30:39,315 --> 00:30:41,100
Argh, is she drunk?
719
00:30:41,230 --> 00:30:42,623
- Well, I wouldn't say drunk.
- Oh, she used to
720
00:30:42,753 --> 00:30:44,407
do this to me all the time in college.
721
00:30:44,538 --> 00:30:45,713
I'd meet a guy I was really into,
722
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,149
and then she'd get super hammered
723
00:30:47,323 --> 00:30:49,586
and then I'd have to walk her
back to dorm room.
724
00:30:49,717 --> 00:30:50,849
That's probably it.
I'm gonna go.
725
00:30:50,979 --> 00:30:53,416
I'mma see you out there.
726
00:30:53,547 --> 00:30:55,244
- Hey.
- What?
727
00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:56,332
Can you get me a snack?
728
00:30:56,463 --> 00:30:57,507
No.
729
00:31:02,034 --> 00:31:03,818
Kahlil, get on up here buddy.
730
00:31:03,949 --> 00:31:05,907
Your turn, your turn.
You burn him.
731
00:31:06,038 --> 00:31:07,387
Happy birthday, buddy.
732
00:31:07,517 --> 00:31:08,475
There we go.
733
00:31:08,605 --> 00:31:11,739
Alright, this is my favorite.
734
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,220
In his garage, we're working
about to make millions.
735
00:31:14,350 --> 00:31:15,656
Right.
736
00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:17,658
- And what happens?
- His septic tank breaks.
737
00:31:17,788 --> 00:31:20,182
And so, we are literally
working in a shit.
738
00:31:20,313 --> 00:31:21,880
And what did you say to me?
What did you say?
739
00:31:22,010 --> 00:31:23,577
- I couldn't smell it.
- Couldn't smell it.
740
00:31:23,707 --> 00:31:25,448
Couldn't smell his own shit.
741
00:31:25,666 --> 00:31:27,146
I just thought you guys were
trying to get out of working.
742
00:31:29,496 --> 00:31:30,801
- We were.
- Well, shut up about it.
743
00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:32,020
- I destroyed...
- Tim!
744
00:31:32,151 --> 00:31:35,197
Everybody, Tim is here.
Tim is here.
745
00:31:35,328 --> 00:31:37,417
All of the beautiful artwork
that we have in our house,
746
00:31:37,547 --> 00:31:39,027
it's almost all him.
747
00:31:39,158 --> 00:31:40,855
I love them.
I was gonna ask.
748
00:31:40,986 --> 00:31:42,639
I love the dog paintings.
So fun.
749
00:31:42,770 --> 00:31:44,598
Yeah, I tried to buy it all.
750
00:31:44,728 --> 00:31:46,121
You basically did, I mean.
751
00:31:46,252 --> 00:31:49,255
Jackie, Jackie, it's Tim time.
752
00:31:49,385 --> 00:31:51,257
It's Tim time. Tim.
753
00:31:51,387 --> 00:31:52,998
- Shh.
- Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie.
754
00:31:53,128 --> 00:31:54,738
- Come on.
- Tim time.
755
00:31:54,869 --> 00:31:57,524
- Tim time.
- Wait, what's Tim time?
756
00:31:57,654 --> 00:32:01,093
Honey, your gift is here, and your's.
757
00:32:01,223 --> 00:32:02,616
Here we are.
758
00:32:02,746 --> 00:32:06,098
Yap, careful, careful.
It's still little wet.
759
00:32:08,491 --> 00:32:10,493
- So is she.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
760
00:32:10,624 --> 00:32:14,062
What-? Oh my god. Wow.
761
00:32:15,542 --> 00:32:16,456
- I mean-
- MOLLY: Look at that.
762
00:32:16,586 --> 00:32:18,719
Thank you. Thank you, Molls.
763
00:32:18,849 --> 00:32:20,416
Aww.
764
00:32:20,547 --> 00:32:21,722
Alright.
765
00:32:27,554 --> 00:32:31,340
Okay. Alright. She just loves
art. You know?
766
00:32:31,471 --> 00:32:32,907
Yeah, yeah.
767
00:32:33,038 --> 00:32:35,040
- Yummy.
- God.
768
00:32:35,170 --> 00:32:37,042
Tim, I mean this is phenomenal.
769
00:32:37,172 --> 00:32:38,782
Really phenomenal.
770
00:32:38,913 --> 00:32:40,523
How did you get the-?
771
00:32:40,654 --> 00:32:42,177
Well, for your face,
772
00:32:42,308 --> 00:32:44,745
I actually used one of
your old wedding photos.
773
00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:46,790
I had to age it up just a little bit.
774
00:32:46,921 --> 00:32:49,141
- Just a little bit.
- Okay.
775
00:32:49,271 --> 00:32:52,231
And then for you body, I used that guy.
776
00:32:54,276 --> 00:32:55,930
- How are you doing?
- Oh, man.
777
00:32:57,366 --> 00:32:59,151
Yeah.
He's pretty proud of himself.
778
00:32:59,281 --> 00:33:02,110
It is so good.
Oh, he's so talented.
779
00:33:02,241 --> 00:33:04,069
He does baby portraits too.
780
00:33:05,157 --> 00:33:06,636
You have to do our's.
781
00:33:06,767 --> 00:33:08,203
Okay, okay.
782
00:33:08,334 --> 00:33:11,815
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you. Yes.
783
00:33:11,946 --> 00:33:13,034
Thank you.
784
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,864
So you must really love dogs.
785
00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:20,302
Um, actually I'm allergic.
786
00:33:20,433 --> 00:33:22,435
You know, people just
send me pictures of their dogs
787
00:33:22,565 --> 00:33:25,003
and then I paint them.
788
00:33:25,133 --> 00:33:27,266
But you must like them
a little bit, right?
789
00:33:27,396 --> 00:33:29,485
I don't. I can't stand them.
790
00:33:29,616 --> 00:33:31,922
They slobber.
They crap on the floor.
791
00:33:32,053 --> 00:33:33,794
They eat your shoes.
792
00:33:33,924 --> 00:33:37,450
But people love dogs, so easy money.
793
00:33:38,755 --> 00:33:40,409
I don't understand what's going on.
794
00:33:40,540 --> 00:33:44,718
We were just very friendly and
then who the hell is this guy?
795
00:33:44,848 --> 00:33:46,328
Yeah, so what he's got a handsome face
796
00:33:46,459 --> 00:33:49,288
and perfect hair and considerable talent?
797
00:33:49,418 --> 00:33:50,419
Oh god.
798
00:33:50,550 --> 00:33:52,595
Oh okay, alright.
799
00:33:52,726 --> 00:33:55,033
You know what would
make a good impression?
800
00:33:55,163 --> 00:33:57,209
A Jeff Goldblum standee.
801
00:33:57,339 --> 00:34:01,343
She loves him.
You will be like her hero.
802
00:34:01,474 --> 00:34:03,606
Yeah, but right now, all I have
is some of the Dodgers.
803
00:34:03,737 --> 00:34:05,782
And an old Batman.
804
00:34:05,913 --> 00:34:07,915
To the Batomobile then.
805
00:34:09,308 --> 00:34:10,483
I'll be back.
806
00:34:11,614 --> 00:34:12,746
That was the terminator.
807
00:34:13,138 --> 00:34:14,617
Oh my god, I'm losing it,
Amandine. I'm losing it.
808
00:34:14,748 --> 00:34:15,662
Go find it, go find it.
809
00:34:15,792 --> 00:34:17,533
Okay. I'm coming right back.
810
00:34:19,274 --> 00:34:21,189
Okay, so what about babies?
811
00:34:23,017 --> 00:34:24,018
I can't stand babies.
812
00:34:24,149 --> 00:34:25,628
I'm sorry, I can't stand them.
813
00:34:25,759 --> 00:34:28,675
Babies are-babies are stupid.
814
00:34:28,805 --> 00:34:30,590
I mean, you ever tried to have
a conversation with a baby?
815
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:32,505
It's remarkably one-sided.
816
00:34:32,635 --> 00:34:35,073
Well, they're babies,
so they can't even talk.
817
00:34:35,203 --> 00:34:37,814
Because babies are stupid.
818
00:34:37,945 --> 00:34:39,686
So, you don't like babies or dogs?
819
00:34:39,816 --> 00:34:41,949
Or surfing. I hate surfing.
820
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,255
Well, how do you make art about something
821
00:34:43,385 --> 00:34:44,430
you don't even like?
822
00:34:44,734 --> 00:34:46,606
That's why they call us starving artists.
823
00:34:46,736 --> 00:34:48,086
Speaking of which, there's the food.
824
00:34:48,216 --> 00:34:49,217
Excuse me.
825
00:34:50,697 --> 00:34:52,133
Okay, we got a problem.
826
00:34:52,264 --> 00:34:54,048
MJ got feelings.
827
00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:55,789
- What do you mean feelings?
- Like, feelings feelings.
828
00:34:55,919 --> 00:34:58,008
You need to bounce off
before he gets back, okay?
829
00:34:58,139 --> 00:35:00,272
Well, I'm thinking of bouncing right now.
830
00:35:00,402 --> 00:35:02,143
Absolutely not. No.
831
00:35:02,274 --> 00:35:04,058
One D down.
Two more Ds to go.
832
00:35:04,189 --> 00:35:05,146
I can't do this.
833
00:35:05,277 --> 00:35:06,756
Yes, you can.
834
00:35:06,887 --> 00:35:09,368
The goal is to be a hoe.
835
00:35:09,498 --> 00:35:11,239
Mom.
836
00:35:11,370 --> 00:35:13,328
Hoe now, mom later.
There's a through line.
837
00:35:13,459 --> 00:35:14,547
Okay.
838
00:35:20,901 --> 00:35:22,555
You weren't kidding
about the starving artist.
839
00:35:22,685 --> 00:35:24,209
It's Pavlovian.
840
00:35:24,339 --> 00:35:26,428
All these art openings always
have amazing spreads,
841
00:35:26,559 --> 00:35:28,126
and if I keep my mouth filled with food,
842
00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:29,779
people think they're rude
if they come up to me
843
00:35:29,910 --> 00:35:33,000
and ask me "What were you
trying to say with this piece?"
844
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:35,176
Just give you the money
and leave you alone, right?
845
00:35:35,307 --> 00:35:36,569
You wanna be my agent?
846
00:35:39,311 --> 00:35:41,182
Oh, here we go. Yeah.
847
00:35:41,313 --> 00:35:44,054
I'm sure she's perfectly nice,
848
00:35:44,185 --> 00:35:47,362
but I get hit on by that type
all the time.
849
00:35:49,190 --> 00:35:50,887
What's your type?
850
00:35:51,018 --> 00:35:55,153
Oh, unbearable self-involved
assholes. Know any?
851
00:35:55,283 --> 00:35:57,894
Okay, you're right.
I should apologize to her.
852
00:35:58,025 --> 00:35:59,200
I'm sorry. I'm a little salty.
853
00:36:00,549 --> 00:36:02,334
My ex recently got in touch with me
854
00:36:02,464 --> 00:36:03,552
and called me a sell-out
855
00:36:03,770 --> 00:36:07,034
because I painted a mural for YouTube.
856
00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:09,297
One mural, okay?
857
00:36:09,428 --> 00:36:11,995
Diego Rivera did
his best work for Rockefeller.
858
00:36:12,126 --> 00:36:13,301
Commissioned mural.
859
00:36:13,562 --> 00:36:15,825
The Sistine Chapel was
a commissioned mural.
860
00:36:15,956 --> 00:36:18,045
Commerce and art.
Corporate art.
861
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:20,221
What's the big deal?
Now-now my ex is going out
862
00:36:20,352 --> 00:36:21,875
with some 50-year-old.
863
00:36:22,005 --> 00:36:24,965
He's 50. He designs food courts
at malls, okay?
864
00:36:25,095 --> 00:36:26,358
- I'm a sell out?
- Oh, fuck off.
865
00:36:27,663 --> 00:36:29,404
I'm sorry.
I haven't had the pleasure.
866
00:36:29,535 --> 00:36:31,014
And you're not going to.
867
00:36:31,145 --> 00:36:32,886
All the men here have younger wives.
868
00:36:33,016 --> 00:36:34,235
Look.
869
00:36:34,409 --> 00:36:37,195
Our hosts, your patrons,
seven years apart.
870
00:36:37,325 --> 00:36:38,892
- Well, he looks old.
- He has no hair.
871
00:36:39,066 --> 00:36:41,982
Preggo and Deer in Headlights,
more like ten years.
872
00:36:42,112 --> 00:36:43,636
Silver fox and Kim Kardashian.
873
00:36:43,766 --> 00:36:46,639
And especially Surf and Turf.
874
00:36:46,769 --> 00:36:48,728
Why do you think that is?
875
00:36:50,730 --> 00:36:52,601
All women are gold diggers?
876
00:36:52,732 --> 00:36:55,474
Supply and demand.
877
00:36:55,604 --> 00:36:58,999
There's not much demand
for aging aimless artist.
878
00:37:00,174 --> 00:37:01,567
But you two have fun.
879
00:37:04,396 --> 00:37:06,311
I think I'm in love.
880
00:37:06,441 --> 00:37:09,139
You look kind of cute when
you get your ass handed to you.
881
00:37:09,270 --> 00:37:10,793
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
882
00:37:10,924 --> 00:37:13,100
Hey Tim, I love it.
883
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,494
Thank you so much, again.
884
00:37:15,624 --> 00:37:17,147
Although, I'm gonna have to
hide it in my office
885
00:37:17,278 --> 00:37:20,150
so Molly doesn't get sad
every time I take my shirt off.
886
00:37:20,281 --> 00:37:23,197
Thank you. I was trying to
convey the feeling of freedom.
887
00:37:23,328 --> 00:37:25,155
Oh, yeah.
888
00:37:25,286 --> 00:37:27,810
Yes, sounds like somebody surfs.
889
00:37:27,941 --> 00:37:29,247
Not as much as I'd like to.
890
00:37:29,508 --> 00:37:30,683
Heard that, my man.
Yeah, when I'm out there, man-
891
00:37:30,813 --> 00:37:33,773
Shh, you talk too much.
892
00:37:33,903 --> 00:37:35,340
Stop talking.
893
00:37:35,470 --> 00:37:37,037
I didn't really say anything.
894
00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:38,908
Oh, Tim.
895
00:37:39,039 --> 00:37:41,650
You have to show Jaclyn all of your art.
896
00:37:41,781 --> 00:37:43,478
We have so many of his pieces.
897
00:37:43,609 --> 00:37:44,566
We have a lot.
898
00:37:44,697 --> 00:37:46,307
They're basically my Borgias.
899
00:37:46,438 --> 00:37:48,091
You're so funny.
900
00:37:48,222 --> 00:37:49,702
He's so funny.
901
00:37:49,832 --> 00:37:51,617
And good looking, huh?
902
00:37:51,747 --> 00:37:53,358
Sure, yeah, hmm-mm.
903
00:37:53,575 --> 00:37:56,752
Yeah, why don't you go
on the gallery walk upstairs?
904
00:37:56,883 --> 00:37:58,145
No, I thought nobody was allowed upstairs.
905
00:37:58,276 --> 00:38:00,016
No, special people are allowed upstairs.
906
00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:02,889
Go, go, go, go.
907
00:38:03,019 --> 00:38:05,326
Got it, yeah.
I'll show you upstairs.
908
00:38:05,457 --> 00:38:06,588
Okay.
909
00:38:08,242 --> 00:38:09,722
Okay, what?
I don't-
910
00:38:09,852 --> 00:38:11,506
You what?
911
00:38:11,637 --> 00:38:12,725
What?
912
00:38:12,855 --> 00:38:15,684
I do. You don't. I do.
913
00:38:17,077 --> 00:38:18,513
Do you wanna go have a glass of water?
914
00:38:18,644 --> 00:38:20,167
There's a dog.
915
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,473
Another dog.
916
00:38:23,344 --> 00:38:24,911
Dog.
917
00:38:25,041 --> 00:38:28,871
Dog. Baby, baby, baby, baby.
There's a good one this way.
918
00:38:35,791 --> 00:38:37,967
And a life study.
919
00:38:39,142 --> 00:38:40,143
That's Molly.
920
00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:43,059
I'm not at liberty to say.
921
00:38:47,499 --> 00:38:51,372
Ah, well, I-it's lovely.
922
00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:54,810
You know, the use of your brush strokes
923
00:38:54,941 --> 00:38:56,943
and colors.
924
00:38:57,073 --> 00:38:59,206
Please, please, please stop.
925
00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:02,122
Can we please not talk about my work?
926
00:39:02,252 --> 00:39:06,126
Okay. Let's, huh...
Let's talk about you.
927
00:39:07,823 --> 00:39:10,304
That sounds even worse.
How about we talk about you?
928
00:39:12,088 --> 00:39:14,352
How about-how about we don't talk?
929
00:39:16,136 --> 00:39:17,180
Okay.
930
00:39:19,487 --> 00:39:20,749
Yes.
931
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,534
Yeah. I love this.
932
00:39:22,664 --> 00:39:24,405
I love this. Stop, stop.
933
00:39:24,536 --> 00:39:27,495
I love this.
I love all of your features.
934
00:39:27,626 --> 00:39:29,323
All of it.
And when you speak,
935
00:39:29,454 --> 00:39:31,369
you speak with so much expression.
936
00:39:31,499 --> 00:39:33,849
This here. This.
937
00:39:33,980 --> 00:39:35,329
I wanna paint you.
938
00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:36,548
Okay.
939
00:39:38,811 --> 00:39:40,073
Okay.
940
00:39:40,203 --> 00:39:41,553
Oh, yeah.
941
00:39:41,683 --> 00:39:44,599
It's so refreshing to be
with an older woman.
942
00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:47,515
Just past all this baby bullshit.
943
00:39:47,646 --> 00:39:48,777
You know?
944
00:39:48,908 --> 00:39:50,779
And all these fucking gold diggers.
945
00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:52,781
I only wanna be with older women
946
00:39:52,912 --> 00:39:55,262
who are post menopausal.
947
00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:56,829
How old do you think I am?
948
00:39:59,309 --> 00:40:00,223
I wasn't talking about you.
949
00:40:07,753 --> 00:40:10,451
Yes, you have a bush.
950
00:40:11,844 --> 00:40:13,411
You have actual pubic hair.
951
00:40:13,541 --> 00:40:15,761
You have actual pubic hair.
952
00:40:17,763 --> 00:40:20,374
I've been working
with these life study models.
953
00:40:20,505 --> 00:40:21,767
And they're all completely shaved.
954
00:40:21,897 --> 00:40:23,116
They look like barbie dolls.
955
00:40:23,464 --> 00:40:24,944
It's perverse. You know,
they look like little girls.
956
00:40:25,074 --> 00:40:26,815
Who wants to make love with little girls?
957
00:40:26,946 --> 00:40:28,034
Hopefully nobody.
958
00:40:28,164 --> 00:40:29,775
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
959
00:40:29,905 --> 00:40:31,777
All these women mutilating their bodies
960
00:40:31,907 --> 00:40:33,648
to live up to some imagined standard
961
00:40:33,779 --> 00:40:35,476
the patriarchy has set for them.
962
00:40:37,043 --> 00:40:39,524
Why do women have to be
perfect little C-cups
963
00:40:39,654 --> 00:40:41,047
and be completely shaved, you know?
964
00:40:41,177 --> 00:40:42,396
They don't, they don't know?
965
00:40:42,527 --> 00:40:44,137
Let it grow.
Let it go wild.
966
00:40:44,267 --> 00:40:48,054
Let it go untamed. Get in my
mouth, wild long pussy hair.
967
00:40:48,184 --> 00:40:49,403
Or maybe just-I mean
968
00:40:49,534 --> 00:40:51,840
I think I prefer just a little trimmed.
969
00:40:51,971 --> 00:40:54,582
No, you're wrong.
Let it go.
970
00:40:54,713 --> 00:40:56,454
Live in your skin.
971
00:40:56,584 --> 00:41:00,370
All the years that you've
lived, all of that hair,
972
00:41:00,501 --> 00:41:02,808
all of your blemishes,
973
00:41:02,938 --> 00:41:05,941
all of these sunspots, these liver spots
974
00:41:06,072 --> 00:41:08,509
all of them.
All of these age spots.
975
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,076
All of these herpes scars here.
976
00:41:10,206 --> 00:41:11,599
All of these wrinkles.
977
00:41:11,817 --> 00:41:14,123
Wrinkle, wrinkle, wrinkle.
Wrinkle, wrinkle, wrinkle.
978
00:41:14,254 --> 00:41:17,649
It's your imperfections
that make you perfect.
979
00:41:19,868 --> 00:41:21,479
Nope, can't do it.
980
00:41:22,915 --> 00:41:24,873
What do you want me to say here?
981
00:41:25,004 --> 00:41:27,006
Honestly, nothing.
982
00:41:27,136 --> 00:41:29,878
Because everything
that comes out of your mouth
983
00:41:30,009 --> 00:41:32,577
is just drying me up.
984
00:41:32,707 --> 00:41:33,969
I'm trying to compliment you here.
985
00:41:35,405 --> 00:41:37,103
And that's what you landed on?
986
00:41:37,233 --> 00:41:39,018
I'm not trying to be a dick.
987
00:41:39,148 --> 00:41:41,586
Oh, well then,
it must just come naturally.
988
00:41:43,196 --> 00:41:44,763
Hey, hey.
989
00:41:46,199 --> 00:41:48,157
I'm just trying to do you a solid.
990
00:41:48,288 --> 00:41:49,724
A what?
991
00:41:49,898 --> 00:41:51,987
Molly told me that you
needed to fuck the pain away
992
00:41:52,118 --> 00:41:53,162
and so do I.
993
00:41:53,293 --> 00:41:56,122
We're the same.
You said it.
994
00:41:56,252 --> 00:41:59,299
I think the best idea is
for us to let our bodies
995
00:41:59,429 --> 00:42:00,474
do the talking.
996
00:42:01,736 --> 00:42:03,782
- Ouch!
- I think the best idea
997
00:42:03,912 --> 00:42:05,784
is for you to never ever touch me again.
998
00:42:11,833 --> 00:42:13,487
My painting hand.
999
00:42:13,618 --> 00:42:16,142
There she is, there she is.
1000
00:42:16,272 --> 00:42:17,752
Hello, how was it?
1001
00:42:17,883 --> 00:42:19,667
I want the dets.
I want the dirty, dirty dets.
1002
00:42:19,798 --> 00:42:20,886
That was fast.
1003
00:42:21,016 --> 00:42:22,627
That didn't happen.
1004
00:42:22,757 --> 00:42:25,586
No. Why didn't you do Tim?
1005
00:42:25,717 --> 00:42:28,328
Maybe I would've if he didn't
treat me like a pity fuck.
1006
00:42:28,458 --> 00:42:29,851
You're supposed to find me nice guys.
1007
00:42:29,982 --> 00:42:31,374
So, I can have nice babies.
1008
00:42:31,505 --> 00:42:33,725
Well, you meant also cute and artistic
1009
00:42:33,855 --> 00:42:35,553
and funny and smart.
1010
00:42:36,902 --> 00:42:38,556
I got four out of five ain't bad.
1011
00:42:38,686 --> 00:42:40,688
And look, you're gonna love my guy.
1012
00:42:40,819 --> 00:42:43,648
I don't know.
I think I'm good, you guys.
1013
00:42:43,778 --> 00:42:45,171
No, you're not good.
1014
00:42:45,301 --> 00:42:47,129
I know you don't want
to roll the dice with MJ.
1015
00:42:47,260 --> 00:42:48,217
It's just one person.
1016
00:42:48,348 --> 00:42:49,567
And it's MJ.
1017
00:42:51,220 --> 00:42:54,615
Okay, fine.
But he has got to go.
1018
00:42:54,746 --> 00:42:56,965
No, I can't kick out Tim.
1019
00:42:57,096 --> 00:42:58,924
Yes you can.
It's your house.
1020
00:42:59,054 --> 00:43:01,100
But do I have to?
1021
00:43:01,230 --> 00:43:04,320
Yes, you do.
Sisters before misters.
1022
00:43:04,451 --> 00:43:07,149
That's easy for you to say.
You don't have a mister.
1023
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:08,542
- She's right.
- Thank you.
1024
00:43:08,803 --> 00:43:11,240
Sisters before misters.
That's what we always say.
1025
00:43:11,371 --> 00:43:13,895
- We do.
- Oh, but poor Tim. Oh.
1026
00:43:14,026 --> 00:43:16,550
- Poor Tim?
- Poor tiny Tim.
1027
00:43:16,681 --> 00:43:19,335
Wait, is he tiny?
Or is he big?
1028
00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:20,815
Or is he little?
I don't wanna know.
1029
00:43:20,946 --> 00:43:22,600
Because I don't want anybody-
I do wanna know.
1030
00:43:22,730 --> 00:43:24,427
But I don't wanna know.
But I do wanna-
1031
00:43:24,558 --> 00:43:28,127
It's like killing me.
It's tearing me apart.
1032
00:43:28,257 --> 00:43:31,043
Stress is the future, right?
Choking the present.
1033
00:43:32,392 --> 00:43:34,655
- Okay.
- What you guys all need
1034
00:43:34,786 --> 00:43:36,091
is more time on the ocean.
1035
00:43:36,222 --> 00:43:37,658
- Ah, yes.
- You know.
1036
00:43:37,789 --> 00:43:40,487
Wow, wow, wow. Thank you.
1037
00:43:43,969 --> 00:43:47,015
So, I heard it didn't go well.
1038
00:43:47,146 --> 00:43:50,671
So, you should probably leave
so it's not weird.
1039
00:43:50,802 --> 00:43:53,543
Because I don't want it
to be weird for Geoff.
1040
00:43:53,674 --> 00:43:54,719
I should leave?
No, no, no.
1041
00:43:54,849 --> 00:43:56,677
I'm friends with both of you.
1042
00:43:56,808 --> 00:43:58,287
She's the one who should leave.
She should leave.
1043
00:43:58,418 --> 00:44:00,812
That's not gonna happen, Tim.
1044
00:44:00,942 --> 00:44:02,770
But it's okay.
But it's okay that you go.
1045
00:44:02,901 --> 00:44:05,120
Because you know well, we love you.
1046
00:44:05,251 --> 00:44:07,732
And you know what? It's always
okay. You should go.
1047
00:44:07,862 --> 00:44:09,995
No, no, no. Maybe-maybe
I don't wanna-
1048
00:44:10,125 --> 00:44:11,649
Maybe I don't wanna go.
1049
00:44:11,779 --> 00:44:13,651
What is that?
1050
00:44:13,781 --> 00:44:17,350
That was so much fun.
Oh my gosh, do it again.
1051
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,178
No, no.
Okay, just one little spin.
1052
00:44:19,308 --> 00:44:21,310
- See that's nice.
- Just hold on a second. Jacklyn?
1053
00:44:21,441 --> 00:44:22,964
- No.
- On land, you guys are CEOs.
1054
00:44:23,095 --> 00:44:25,097
- Idiot.
- But out there in the ocean,
1055
00:44:25,227 --> 00:44:27,229
- I'm chairman of my board.
- Oh nice.
1056
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:30,276
What an ass hat. Not you.
1057
00:44:30,406 --> 00:44:32,539
Yeah, no shit.
1058
00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:34,410
Hey, what about you?
1059
00:44:34,541 --> 00:44:35,760
You got anything on your horizons
1060
00:44:35,890 --> 00:44:37,326
I should have my radar on?
1061
00:44:39,024 --> 00:44:41,026
- Geoff?
- Huh? Oh, no.
1062
00:44:41,156 --> 00:44:42,375
No, nothing special.
1063
00:44:42,505 --> 00:44:44,594
You know, it's a bunch of stupid pitches.
1064
00:44:44,725 --> 00:44:47,510
It's like Uber for kitty cats.
1065
00:44:47,641 --> 00:44:51,123
It's like Door dash from my
ass. I don't know.
1066
00:44:57,303 --> 00:44:59,261
Oh, I'm sorry.
1067
00:44:59,392 --> 00:45:00,959
No, no, no, no. Please, please,
please, please.
1068
00:45:01,089 --> 00:45:02,961
Please don't go, please don't go.
1069
00:45:03,091 --> 00:45:06,616
Just buying myself another
hour of smiling stupidly.
1070
00:45:08,009 --> 00:45:09,097
You want a hit?
1071
00:45:09,228 --> 00:45:11,926
No, I'm good. Thanks.
1072
00:45:12,057 --> 00:45:15,103
You hook up with the asshole?
I mean, artist?
1073
00:45:15,234 --> 00:45:16,931
No, I didn't.
1074
00:45:17,062 --> 00:45:18,280
I'm not judging.
1075
00:45:18,411 --> 00:45:20,108
No, seriously, I didn't.
1076
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,067
What about the guy with the glasses?
1077
00:45:22,197 --> 00:45:23,590
Was it that obvious?
1078
00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:26,724
I didn't see anything.
1079
00:45:26,854 --> 00:45:30,075
You're um-you're with the surfer guy.
1080
00:45:30,205 --> 00:45:33,469
Yeap.
But I'm pretty much here alone.
1081
00:45:34,862 --> 00:45:35,950
The second we get around his friends
1082
00:45:36,081 --> 00:45:37,822
it's like I don't even exist.
1083
00:45:37,952 --> 00:45:40,041
I thought an older guy'd
be past all that bullshit.
1084
00:45:40,172 --> 00:45:42,478
That's when they
summit Mt. Bullshit.
1085
00:45:42,609 --> 00:45:44,002
- I know.
- Yeah.
1086
00:45:44,132 --> 00:45:45,220
- Right?
- Yeah.
1087
00:45:45,351 --> 00:45:47,570
But it's so different for us.
1088
00:45:47,701 --> 00:45:49,485
Like, I wanna have kids.
1089
00:45:50,748 --> 00:45:52,358
It's not like we're in our 20s.
1090
00:45:52,488 --> 00:45:55,187
I mean I'm probably
a skosh older than you.
1091
00:45:56,797 --> 00:46:00,061
This is gonna sound crazy,
but I work with horses
1092
00:46:00,192 --> 00:46:02,716
and we start breeding our
marriage when they're 5
1093
00:46:02,847 --> 00:46:05,153
and put them out to
pasture when they're 15.
1094
00:46:05,284 --> 00:46:07,329
Which is what in human years?
1095
00:46:07,460 --> 00:46:09,244
- 35.
- 35.
1096
00:46:09,375 --> 00:46:11,072
- I'm 31.
- Yeah.
1097
00:46:11,203 --> 00:46:12,378
I mean if he's not serious
1098
00:46:12,682 --> 00:46:14,989
am I gonna have to
get started on another guy?
1099
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,251
God.
1100
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:19,428
You know what?
1101
00:46:19,559 --> 00:46:22,170
Fuck it. Fuck it.
1102
00:46:23,432 --> 00:46:25,217
We wait for everything in our lives.
1103
00:46:25,347 --> 00:46:27,393
We have to wait for them
to ask us to prom.
1104
00:46:27,523 --> 00:46:29,874
We wait for them to ask us to marry them.
1105
00:46:30,004 --> 00:46:32,006
We have to wait until
they're ready to have kids.
1106
00:46:32,137 --> 00:46:34,226
Well, I am done waiting.
1107
00:46:34,356 --> 00:46:37,533
I am done waiting for permission
to live my fucking life.
1108
00:46:37,664 --> 00:46:38,970
Yeah.
1109
00:46:39,100 --> 00:46:40,449
You know what?
1110
00:46:40,580 --> 00:46:41,624
- Fuck him.
- Yeah.
1111
00:46:41,929 --> 00:46:43,322
Fuck this party, I'm out of here.
1112
00:46:44,845 --> 00:46:45,585
- Hi. Is this thing on?
- Hi, hello.
1113
00:46:45,715 --> 00:46:47,848
- Hello.
- Oh, hi.
1114
00:46:47,979 --> 00:46:51,330
-Is it your birthday?
1115
00:46:51,460 --> 00:46:52,461
Yeah.
1116
00:46:52,592 --> 00:46:55,464
Ah, happy birthday.
1117
00:46:55,595 --> 00:46:58,772
Okay. One of you bozos
got me a stripper?
1118
00:46:58,903 --> 00:47:00,905
Come on Geoff, you know I'm not that fool.
1119
00:47:01,035 --> 00:47:03,211
Holy shit, that is a shirtless chef.
1120
00:47:03,342 --> 00:47:04,822
Wait-wait, who that?
1121
00:47:04,952 --> 00:47:06,127
Who is that?
1122
00:47:06,258 --> 00:47:07,955
He does online cooking videos.
1123
00:47:08,086 --> 00:47:09,914
Shirtless.
1124
00:47:10,044 --> 00:47:11,654
As in zero shirt.
1125
00:47:11,785 --> 00:47:13,134
I'ma subscribe.
1126
00:47:13,265 --> 00:47:14,266
Yeah.
1127
00:47:14,396 --> 00:47:15,310
You're welcome.
1128
00:47:16,877 --> 00:47:19,053
You wouldn't happen to be Jaclyn?
1129
00:47:19,184 --> 00:47:20,185
Would you?
1130
00:47:20,315 --> 00:47:21,447
I would.
1131
00:47:21,577 --> 00:47:23,710
Ah, pleasure to meet you.
1132
00:47:25,233 --> 00:47:28,323
Oh, pleasure is all mine.
1133
00:47:28,454 --> 00:47:31,283
Amandine has told me so many fascinating
1134
00:47:31,413 --> 00:47:32,545
tidbits about you.
1135
00:47:35,461 --> 00:47:37,855
It's a little hot in here.
1136
00:47:37,985 --> 00:47:39,421
I don't know why I'm wearing this anymore.
1137
00:47:39,552 --> 00:47:40,814
Ah, oh look, raddish.
1138
00:47:43,121 --> 00:47:44,731
Hey, can I steal-
1139
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:45,950
Okay.
1140
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:49,257
Can I steal Jaclyn for a second?
1141
00:47:49,388 --> 00:47:50,606
- Maybe later.
- No.
1142
00:47:50,737 --> 00:47:52,130
It will just take a minute.
1143
00:47:52,260 --> 00:47:54,393
I don't-Geoff, I-
1144
00:47:56,003 --> 00:47:57,700
I'll be-
1145
00:47:57,831 --> 00:47:59,398
I heard you quit working for Jen Anishton.
1146
00:48:01,356 --> 00:48:05,273
Yeah. I mean it's not totally
confirmed yet, but yeah.
1147
00:48:05,404 --> 00:48:07,319
Okay, well, do you have anything lined up?
1148
00:48:08,842 --> 00:48:11,062
Not yet.
Just kind of going around
1149
00:48:11,192 --> 00:48:13,020
trying to figure out where I want to land.
1150
00:48:13,151 --> 00:48:15,196
Uh-huh. Well, that's perfect.
1151
00:48:15,327 --> 00:48:18,069
Because I have a friend
who just started a non-profit
1152
00:48:18,199 --> 00:48:20,462
that supports educational
programs for girls
1153
00:48:20,593 --> 00:48:21,637
in third world countries.
1154
00:48:21,768 --> 00:48:22,769
I know.
1155
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,031
That's great. Well, listen.
1156
00:48:24,249 --> 00:48:25,903
Why don't you give them my contact, and I-
1157
00:48:26,033 --> 00:48:27,339
Okay, Meera.
1158
00:48:27,469 --> 00:48:29,994
Yeah. Hey, I want you
to meet somebody.
1159
00:48:30,124 --> 00:48:31,952
This is... this is Jaclyn
McGinley.
1160
00:48:32,083 --> 00:48:34,433
- Hi.
- She just left her position
1161
00:48:34,563 --> 00:48:37,305
as the Director of
Jen Aniston's foundation.
1162
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,134
What?
1163
00:48:40,265 --> 00:48:41,701
Now, you guys talk.
1164
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:44,660
- Jen Anishton?
- Yeah.
1165
00:48:44,791 --> 00:48:46,662
You know, I'm a huge fan.
1166
00:48:46,793 --> 00:48:48,882
I was just at her benefit
at the Getty last month.
1167
00:48:49,013 --> 00:48:50,275
Well did you-Did you do that?
1168
00:48:50,405 --> 00:48:51,711
- I did, yeah.
- You did.
1169
00:48:51,841 --> 00:48:53,626
Oh my goodness. This is fate.
1170
00:48:53,756 --> 00:48:54,670
Yes. Yes it is.
1171
00:48:54,801 --> 00:48:56,455
Because, let me tell you.
1172
00:48:56,585 --> 00:48:59,023
I was at the grocery store yesterday,
1173
00:48:59,153 --> 00:49:00,372
and I was checking out the tabloids.
1174
00:49:00,502 --> 00:49:02,330
I don't usually check out the tabloids.
1175
00:49:02,461 --> 00:49:04,158
But I just happen to see Jen.
1176
00:49:04,289 --> 00:49:06,421
And they were talking about
how she's childless.
1177
00:49:06,552 --> 00:49:08,902
And I went home to Kahlil and I told him,
1178
00:49:09,033 --> 00:49:10,730
"Why doesn't she just adopt?"
1179
00:49:10,860 --> 00:49:13,994
You know? And then I meet you
here tonight.
1180
00:49:14,125 --> 00:49:15,387
So why doesn't she adopt?
1181
00:49:16,736 --> 00:49:18,216
Oh, I don't-
1182
00:49:18,346 --> 00:49:19,652
We don't really talk about that.
1183
00:49:19,782 --> 00:49:21,306
Well, would you?
1184
00:49:21,436 --> 00:49:24,483
Would you? Because adoption is
just such a blessling.
1185
00:49:24,613 --> 00:49:27,181
Yeah. I mean, we adopted
four of our six.
1186
00:49:27,312 --> 00:49:28,791
One from Mozambique, one from Peru,
1187
00:49:28,922 --> 00:49:30,706
one from Russia and one from China.
1188
00:49:30,837 --> 00:49:32,926
All you need is Australian,
and you got a continental set.
1189
00:49:33,057 --> 00:49:34,797
Oh my god, you're funny.
1190
00:49:34,928 --> 00:49:35,929
Isn't she?
1191
00:49:37,148 --> 00:49:39,367
She is very funny.
1192
00:49:39,498 --> 00:49:41,630
Girl, you hungry? We got some
more cheese that came out.
1193
00:49:41,761 --> 00:49:44,590
Oh, you know, I'm lactose intolerant, so.
1194
00:49:44,720 --> 00:49:47,854
- I bet you are.
- Yeah. So-
1195
00:49:47,985 --> 00:49:50,335
But I was saying is that,
1196
00:49:50,465 --> 00:49:51,684
you know, motherhood is just a blessing.
1197
00:49:51,814 --> 00:49:53,120
No matter how you do it.
1198
00:49:54,469 --> 00:49:56,819
- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
1199
00:49:56,950 --> 00:49:59,431
Do you feel any difference in the bond
1200
00:49:59,561 --> 00:50:02,695
between your adopted children
and the biological children?
1201
00:50:02,825 --> 00:50:04,349
Not the first time
someone's asked me that.
1202
00:50:05,698 --> 00:50:07,091
Let me be just completely honest.
1203
00:50:07,221 --> 00:50:10,094
With my first two,
I thought that, you know,
1204
00:50:10,224 --> 00:50:12,966
I don't know if I could love
another the way I did them,
1205
00:50:13,097 --> 00:50:16,883
but when I saw Donya's face, I just-
1206
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:19,668
I knew she was my child.
I don't know.
1207
00:50:19,799 --> 00:50:22,541
Love is not really
a zero-sum game, you know?
1208
00:50:22,671 --> 00:50:24,934
Wow, that is
1209
00:50:25,065 --> 00:50:26,632
so sweet I wanna kill myself.
1210
00:50:27,894 --> 00:50:29,243
- Oh my god.
- Butter fingers.
1211
00:50:29,374 --> 00:50:32,507
Hurry now. Ah, ah. This way.
1212
00:50:33,769 --> 00:50:34,814
Let's go faster.
1213
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:37,817
Must go faster.
1214
00:50:44,084 --> 00:50:47,218
Sorry, I thought the situation
called for bit of a
1215
00:50:47,348 --> 00:50:48,523
diversion.
1216
00:50:48,654 --> 00:50:49,829
Yeah, thank you.
1217
00:50:49,959 --> 00:50:51,222
Of course.
1218
00:50:51,352 --> 00:50:54,268
So, you work in the not-for-profit space.
1219
00:50:54,399 --> 00:50:55,661
I admire that.
1220
00:50:57,010 --> 00:50:59,273
Very satisfying.
1221
00:51:00,579 --> 00:51:01,971
Are you doing that on purpose?
1222
00:51:02,102 --> 00:51:05,323
I'm sorry, I'm not exactly sure
what you mean.
1223
00:51:05,453 --> 00:51:07,977
The talking like Jeff Goldblum thing.
1224
00:51:10,850 --> 00:51:14,288
Well, I certainly hope I can measure up.
1225
00:51:14,419 --> 00:51:16,725
Oh, I think you're even better
1226
00:51:16,856 --> 00:51:18,727
than the real thing, truly.
1227
00:51:20,207 --> 00:51:21,469
So, you're an actor?
1228
00:51:23,036 --> 00:51:24,037
Do you have anything against actors?
1229
00:51:24,168 --> 00:51:25,821
No, no, no. No.
1230
00:51:25,952 --> 00:51:28,389
I think that's great.
You know?
1231
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,653
You're sensitive and artistic.
1232
00:51:33,525 --> 00:51:34,613
Is that why
1233
00:51:34,743 --> 00:51:38,269
you're so muscly?
1234
00:51:38,399 --> 00:51:41,185
Oh, this is my instrument.
1235
00:51:41,315 --> 00:51:44,536
It is Stradivarius.
1236
00:51:48,801 --> 00:51:50,194
- A Stradivarius is-
- I know.
1237
00:51:50,324 --> 00:51:51,456
The kind of guitar
1238
00:51:51,586 --> 00:51:52,718
Jimi Hendrix played.
1239
00:51:56,243 --> 00:51:58,550
So, what have I seen you in?
1240
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,683
Well, I got cast in an episode of Flash.
1241
00:52:01,814 --> 00:52:03,816
But I wore mask so you
can't really tell it was me.
1242
00:52:03,946 --> 00:52:05,644
I bet you were great.
1243
00:52:05,774 --> 00:52:07,341
The fight choreographer
thought so. Yeah.
1244
00:52:08,951 --> 00:52:11,389
I mean, it's not easy
being a Latino actor.
1245
00:52:11,519 --> 00:52:12,607
The Goldblum thing helps out.
1246
00:52:12,868 --> 00:52:15,306
I get to go out for hot nerdy types now.
1247
00:52:15,436 --> 00:52:16,959
I like hot nerdy types.
1248
00:52:17,090 --> 00:52:19,005
Yeah, it's better than
type-cast as a gang banger.
1249
00:52:19,136 --> 00:52:20,833
I go like "What's up?"
1250
00:52:20,963 --> 00:52:22,313
You know what would be a dream role?
1251
00:52:22,443 --> 00:52:23,879
Playing Goldblum's kid.
1252
00:52:24,010 --> 00:52:26,926
Like, in a Jurassic sequel
or West Anderson movie.
1253
00:52:27,056 --> 00:52:29,755
Like, the son he never knew.
1254
00:52:29,885 --> 00:52:31,017
And I can play against type.
1255
00:52:31,148 --> 00:52:32,714
I can play someone stupid, like-
1256
00:52:32,845 --> 00:52:34,107
I want you to fuck me, stupid?
1257
00:52:34,238 --> 00:52:36,718
Oh, wait.
1258
00:52:36,849 --> 00:52:38,851
You mean like, you want me
to fuck you COMMA stupid,
1259
00:52:38,981 --> 00:52:39,852
like, you think I'm dumb?
1260
00:52:41,636 --> 00:52:43,203
I want you to fuck my brains out.
1261
00:52:43,334 --> 00:52:45,162
Oh, I see.
1262
00:52:56,303 --> 00:52:57,391
You are hot, oh my god.
1263
00:52:57,522 --> 00:52:58,784
You're hot.
1264
00:53:01,047 --> 00:53:04,572
Which brings me to WFTs.
Right?
1265
00:53:04,703 --> 00:53:06,531
Weed fungible tokens.
1266
00:53:06,661 --> 00:53:09,098
Kind of like an NFT
that you can smoke, okay?
1267
00:53:09,229 --> 00:53:11,057
But it's also on the blockchain.
1268
00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:14,582
Every ounce of weed you buy
or every preroll you buy-
1269
00:53:14,713 --> 00:53:16,062
Okay.
1270
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:17,672
This guy's out of here, now.
It's cool, it's cool.
1271
00:53:17,803 --> 00:53:18,760
You know, some people aren't into weed.
1272
00:53:18,891 --> 00:53:20,153
- It's totally cool.
- Yeah.
1273
00:53:20,284 --> 00:53:21,633
So, it is a weed product.
1274
00:53:21,763 --> 00:53:23,896
You get it from the-it's data?
1275
00:53:24,026 --> 00:53:25,593
You do order it on data.
1276
00:53:27,291 --> 00:53:27,900
I'm sorry, I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
1277
00:53:28,030 --> 00:53:29,293
Absolutely cool.
1278
00:53:30,903 --> 00:53:34,080
Hey dodo bird, what the heck
are you doing here?
1279
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:35,560
I forgot Nermie.
1280
00:53:35,690 --> 00:53:38,737
Oh, rats!
1281
00:53:38,867 --> 00:53:40,652
Well, where's nana?
1282
00:53:40,782 --> 00:53:42,436
She's in the car waiting.
1283
00:53:42,567 --> 00:53:44,569
Oh, is she? Oh, yeah.
1284
00:53:44,699 --> 00:53:45,439
There she is.
1285
00:53:46,571 --> 00:53:47,615
Hey,
1286
00:53:47,746 --> 00:53:50,009
you know it's my birthday, right?
1287
00:53:51,315 --> 00:53:52,881
And I get whatever I want on my birthday,
1288
00:53:53,012 --> 00:53:54,013
that's the rule.
1289
00:53:54,143 --> 00:53:56,581
So, what I want
1290
00:53:56,711 --> 00:53:59,714
is for you to get in there
1291
00:53:59,845 --> 00:54:02,674
and eat all of your
left-over Easter candy,
1292
00:54:02,804 --> 00:54:05,154
every single thing.
1293
00:54:05,285 --> 00:54:06,939
Get in there!
Gobble it up.
1294
00:54:10,116 --> 00:54:13,206
You can have a goodnight.
You bitch.
1295
00:54:15,121 --> 00:54:16,905
Hey, Sophie. Hey, girl,
what are you doing?
1296
00:54:17,036 --> 00:54:19,647
Hi, string bean. Hi.
1297
00:54:19,778 --> 00:54:21,780
You're supposed to be
at your grandma's house.
1298
00:54:21,910 --> 00:54:23,434
I forgot Nermie.
1299
00:54:23,564 --> 00:54:25,392
- Okay.
- Alright, go on up and get it.
1300
00:54:25,523 --> 00:54:26,959
Or maybe not,
1301
00:54:27,089 --> 00:54:29,614
because when I will be awake
passing my bedtime,
1302
00:54:29,744 --> 00:54:33,444
I will turn into a zombie,
tripping over things.
1303
00:54:33,574 --> 00:54:35,533
So maybe your mommy should go up.
1304
00:54:35,663 --> 00:54:37,317
No, she can go get it.
1305
00:54:37,448 --> 00:54:39,841
No, she can't. Um-umm.
1306
00:54:42,148 --> 00:54:44,890
Oh. Okay, alright.
1307
00:54:45,020 --> 00:54:46,370
Mommy will be right back.
1308
00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:47,980
I love you so much. Okay.
1309
00:54:51,026 --> 00:54:52,027
How's your night?
1310
00:54:52,158 --> 00:54:53,768
- Good.
- Yeah.
1311
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:14,833
Oh my god, what are you doing?
1312
00:55:14,963 --> 00:55:16,051
I'm not even here.
1313
00:55:21,405 --> 00:55:22,710
I'm sorry, but it sounded like
1314
00:55:22,841 --> 00:55:24,669
you had a really good moment.
1315
00:55:24,799 --> 00:55:26,888
Oh my god, Molly, get out.
1316
00:55:27,019 --> 00:55:28,281
Come on.
1317
00:55:28,586 --> 00:55:30,501
I mean it's not like you
haven't heard me have sex
1318
00:55:30,631 --> 00:55:32,024
lots of times.
1319
00:55:32,198 --> 00:55:34,156
We were roommates in college
and I used to have sex
1320
00:55:34,287 --> 00:55:36,855
all the time in the bedroom.
1321
00:55:36,985 --> 00:55:37,943
But she was sleeping.
1322
00:55:38,073 --> 00:55:39,205
I wasn't sleeping.
1323
00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:41,033
Oh, see? So that's okay.
1324
00:55:41,163 --> 00:55:43,905
Okay, okay, I'm gone.
I'm not even here.
1325
00:55:44,036 --> 00:55:46,995
No, you guys, take your time.
I just needed this.
1326
00:55:47,126 --> 00:55:48,954
Right look, I can't even see you.
1327
00:55:50,259 --> 00:55:53,350
Okay, strip the beds when you're done.
1328
00:55:58,224 --> 00:56:00,226
Is that good for you?
1329
00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:01,532
Oh my god, yeah.
1330
00:56:01,662 --> 00:56:03,882
I mean, I think the last 10 seconds,
1331
00:56:04,012 --> 00:56:07,320
that was the best sex I've ever had.
1332
00:56:07,451 --> 00:56:08,321
Ever.
1333
00:56:08,452 --> 00:56:10,018
Thank you.
1334
00:56:10,149 --> 00:56:12,630
Look, I know I'm not the real Goldblum,
1335
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:16,460
but I really hope I made
your wish come true.
1336
00:56:16,590 --> 00:56:18,462
You have no idea.
1337
00:56:22,074 --> 00:56:24,076
This is so unfair.
1338
00:56:24,206 --> 00:56:26,774
You're hell of smart, you do charity work,
1339
00:56:26,905 --> 00:56:29,603
and you are smoking hot,
1340
00:56:29,734 --> 00:56:32,171
especially for someone
with stage 4 lymphoma.
1341
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:36,480
- What?
- It's okay. Amandine told me.
1342
00:56:36,610 --> 00:56:39,439
And honestly, thank you.
1343
00:56:39,570 --> 00:56:42,007
As an actor, I don't have a ton of money
1344
00:56:42,137 --> 00:56:44,662
and I can't give nearly
as much as I'd like to charity.
1345
00:56:44,792 --> 00:56:46,098
I always thought of Goldblum thing
1346
00:56:46,228 --> 00:56:48,056
as a gimmick for parties.
1347
00:56:48,187 --> 00:56:51,538
But knowing that my skills could bring you
1348
00:56:51,669 --> 00:56:53,845
joy in the end,
1349
00:56:53,975 --> 00:56:56,630
I just-I'm deeply honored.
1350
00:56:56,761 --> 00:56:57,849
Yeah.
1351
00:57:00,939 --> 00:57:04,595
I hate to sound pity with
everything you're going through
1352
00:57:04,725 --> 00:57:06,553
but you don't have any STDs, do you?
1353
00:57:08,381 --> 00:57:10,339
No.
1354
00:57:10,470 --> 00:57:12,124
Normally, I would use a condom.
1355
00:57:12,254 --> 00:57:14,256
But seeing as how you're Mormon
and only have a week to live,
1356
00:57:14,387 --> 00:57:15,867
I thought I could take the risk.
1357
00:57:18,217 --> 00:57:20,088
Are you strong enough
to get up on your own?
1358
00:57:20,219 --> 00:57:21,655
You need help?
1359
00:57:21,786 --> 00:57:24,179
I got it, thank you. Yeah.
1360
00:57:24,310 --> 00:57:25,920
I'm just gonna take a minute.
1361
00:57:27,313 --> 00:57:28,749
You rest.
1362
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:29,924
Okay.
1363
00:57:36,148 --> 00:57:37,845
Now I hate surfing.
1364
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:41,675
Oh boy.
1365
00:57:45,592 --> 00:57:47,594
Hi, happy birthday.
1366
00:57:47,725 --> 00:57:49,204
- Welcome, thank you.
- Thank you.
1367
00:57:49,335 --> 00:57:50,336
Thank you for having me.
1368
00:57:50,467 --> 00:57:53,121
Oh, thank you.
1369
00:57:53,252 --> 00:57:55,080
Is Armin-is Armin still here?
1370
00:57:55,210 --> 00:57:56,690
Is Armin here?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
1371
00:57:56,821 --> 00:57:58,736
And he's, you know, had a couple.
1372
00:57:58,866 --> 00:58:00,520
Okay, should I go, or-?
1373
00:58:00,651 --> 00:58:02,609
No! No, no, no.
Of course, not.
1374
00:58:02,740 --> 00:58:04,481
No, god.
You drove all the way here.
1375
00:58:04,611 --> 00:58:06,091
I mean, please, make yourself at home.
1376
00:58:06,221 --> 00:58:07,658
Have something to eat, have a drink.
1377
00:58:07,832 --> 00:58:09,398
- It's so good to see you.
- Oh my goodness, you too.
1378
00:58:09,529 --> 00:58:11,618
- Happy birthday. We'll talk.
- Alright. Alright.
1379
00:58:13,359 --> 00:58:14,491
Dude, is that-
1380
00:58:14,621 --> 00:58:16,014
Hey, I'm so sorry.
1381
00:58:16,144 --> 00:58:17,276
Oh fuck, not her.
1382
00:58:17,406 --> 00:58:19,060
I know, I know.
1383
00:58:19,191 --> 00:58:21,585
Molly mentioned it, I couldn't
uninvite her. Do you want me to
1384
00:58:21,715 --> 00:58:23,238
- ask her to go?
- No, no.
1385
00:58:23,369 --> 00:58:24,979
That makes me look like I can't handle it.
1386
00:58:25,110 --> 00:58:26,677
And you know, that's how
the terrorists win.
1387
00:58:26,807 --> 00:58:27,765
So, no.
1388
00:58:29,288 --> 00:58:30,550
Can you believe how fat she got?
1389
00:58:30,681 --> 00:58:32,857
Yikes.
1390
00:58:32,987 --> 00:58:34,641
Oh buddy, that's not fat.
1391
00:58:36,774 --> 00:58:38,340
- She's fucking pregnant?
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
1392
00:58:38,471 --> 00:58:39,690
I didn't know how to tell you that.
1393
00:58:41,039 --> 00:58:42,431
No, it's fine, it's fine.
1394
00:58:42,562 --> 00:58:43,911
You know what?
I'm gonna go say hi to her.
1395
00:58:44,042 --> 00:58:45,043
No, don't say hi.
1396
00:58:46,653 --> 00:58:50,309
Why would you say hi?
Don't say hi.
1397
00:58:50,439 --> 00:58:51,658
Kegels are key.
1398
00:58:51,789 --> 00:58:53,181
- Oh, yeah.
- Just keep doing that.
1399
00:58:53,312 --> 00:58:57,142
Joyce, hey.
Fancy seeing you here.
1400
00:58:57,272 --> 00:58:58,709
Yeah, well, they're my friends too.
1401
00:58:58,839 --> 00:59:01,450
Yeah, because of me.
1402
00:59:01,581 --> 00:59:04,323
Are we really gonna do this
at your best friend's party?
1403
00:59:04,453 --> 00:59:06,891
See, you said it.
My best friend. So.
1404
00:59:08,414 --> 00:59:09,676
Do you want me to leave?
1405
00:59:09,807 --> 00:59:12,505
Oh, now you care about
what I want. Hmm.
1406
00:59:13,941 --> 00:59:15,900
No, you know what? I'm sorry.
1407
00:59:16,030 --> 00:59:20,208
It's fine. We're grown ups.
And congratulations.
1408
00:59:20,339 --> 00:59:22,559
I am very happy for you
and you look beautiful.
1409
00:59:23,864 --> 00:59:24,909
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1410
00:59:25,039 --> 00:59:26,432
I appreciate that.
1411
00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:28,042
I feel bloated and disgusting but-
1412
00:59:28,173 --> 00:59:31,306
No, it suits you.
The, huh, pregnancy.
1413
00:59:31,437 --> 00:59:35,441
Not the-How is Peter doing?
1414
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:36,834
You don't really want
to know that, do you?
1415
00:59:36,964 --> 00:59:39,445
Not at all.
I just hope you're happy.
1416
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:42,404
- I'm very happy.
- Good. Good, good, good.
1417
00:59:42,535 --> 00:59:43,580
Yeah.
1418
00:59:48,846 --> 00:59:49,890
Yeah.
1419
00:59:50,021 --> 00:59:50,978
Great to see you.
1420
00:59:52,197 --> 00:59:53,677
- Cool.
- Yeah.
1421
00:59:56,897 --> 00:59:58,290
Make a wish?
1422
00:59:58,420 --> 00:59:59,987
Is that what I am to you?
A charity case?
1423
01:00:00,118 --> 01:00:01,467
He was already on my original list
1424
01:00:01,598 --> 01:00:02,990
because of the Goldblum thing.
1425
01:00:03,121 --> 01:00:05,384
But he just got cast in a play
1426
01:00:05,514 --> 01:00:06,733
and he was supposed to perform tonight.
1427
01:00:06,864 --> 01:00:08,822
I had to think of a life-or-death reason
1428
01:00:08,953 --> 01:00:11,346
to get him to skip it. So-
1429
01:00:11,477 --> 01:00:12,609
- Cancer?
- That was the only way
1430
01:00:12,739 --> 01:00:15,350
I could get him to agree to go raw dog.
1431
01:00:15,481 --> 01:00:17,962
Dead girls don't need condoms.
1432
01:00:18,092 --> 01:00:19,441
But Mormon?
1433
01:00:19,616 --> 01:00:21,269
Oh, that, you know that kind of
just slipped out.
1434
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:24,925
- Hey.
- Hi.
1435
01:00:25,056 --> 01:00:27,493
You see that pregnant woman over there?
1436
01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:29,451
The one on the right.
That's my ex.
1437
01:00:29,582 --> 01:00:31,628
And I'm about to say
something or do something
1438
01:00:31,758 --> 01:00:33,630
that will get me
excommunicated or in prison.
1439
01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:36,894
So, you know, could you
distract me or something?
1440
01:00:39,026 --> 01:00:39,810
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
1441
01:00:39,940 --> 01:00:41,768
- Yeah, sure.
- Okay.
1442
01:00:43,248 --> 01:00:44,641
Okay.
1443
01:00:46,904 --> 01:00:47,818
What's this from?
1444
01:00:47,948 --> 01:00:50,472
Oh. Knee replacement.
1445
01:00:50,603 --> 01:00:53,432
Warranty ran out
a couple of years ago. So-
1446
01:00:53,562 --> 01:00:56,174
Oh, I can give you a good
referral for your mom's hip.
1447
01:00:56,304 --> 01:00:58,872
My guy is like,
the best in the biz. So-
1448
01:00:59,003 --> 01:01:00,352
Oh yeah, great. Thank you.
1449
01:01:00,482 --> 01:01:01,788
Yeah.
1450
01:01:01,919 --> 01:01:04,312
I think scars are pretty sexy.
1451
01:01:04,443 --> 01:01:05,357
- Oh really?
- Yeah.
1452
01:01:05,487 --> 01:01:06,750
Well, I do have another one.
1453
01:01:07,011 --> 01:01:09,013
Yeah, right here where
Joyce ripped out my heart
1454
01:01:09,143 --> 01:01:10,275
with her bare hands.
Do you wanna see it?
1455
01:01:10,405 --> 01:01:11,885
- Wow, Joyce?
- Yeah.
1456
01:01:12,016 --> 01:01:14,322
Oh, well, you know,
1457
01:01:14,453 --> 01:01:15,802
it's a terrible name for a villain.
1458
01:01:15,933 --> 01:01:17,848
- Yeah, it really is.
- Yeah.
1459
01:01:17,978 --> 01:01:21,590
It's even got joy in it.
How can I be mad at that?
1460
01:01:21,721 --> 01:01:23,680
I walked in on mine getting a BJ.
1461
01:01:25,551 --> 01:01:28,336
Blowjobs are overrated.
1462
01:01:28,467 --> 01:01:30,164
You're just saying that to me
to feel better.
1463
01:01:30,295 --> 01:01:33,472
Yeah, I am.
100%, blowjobs are awesome.
1464
01:01:33,602 --> 01:01:35,909
You know, they had the nerve
to send me a Christmas card.
1465
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:37,345
- What?
- Yeah.
1466
01:01:37,563 --> 01:01:39,173
So, I drew a dick on her face
and sent it back.
1467
01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:42,307
Nice.
1468
01:01:47,965 --> 01:01:49,401
See that in there?
1469
01:01:49,531 --> 01:01:51,316
Those are my friends.
1470
01:01:52,796 --> 01:01:55,537
And she had her friends.
I just don't get it,
1471
01:01:55,668 --> 01:01:58,540
why does she think
she needs mine? You know?
1472
01:01:58,671 --> 01:02:01,761
I know it's pathetic,
but like, fuck, come on!
1473
01:02:01,892 --> 01:02:03,850
No, no, I totally get it.
1474
01:02:03,981 --> 01:02:06,418
I ran into my ex with
his beautiful new wife
1475
01:02:06,548 --> 01:02:07,811
and their baby.
1476
01:02:08,028 --> 01:02:09,247
The baby that he didn't
want to have with me.
1477
01:02:09,377 --> 01:02:11,162
At my garden shop.
1478
01:02:11,292 --> 01:02:13,120
Did you shove him into a cactus?
1479
01:02:13,251 --> 01:02:14,948
I mean, that would have been my
go-to move just right in there.
1480
01:02:15,079 --> 01:02:15,993
- No, but I should have.
- Yeah, you should have.
1481
01:02:16,123 --> 01:02:17,908
Yeah.
1482
01:02:18,038 --> 01:02:21,781
You know, my mom got divorced
at the age of 44.
1483
01:02:21,912 --> 01:02:25,698
And I can honestly say I don't
think she's ever had sex since.
1484
01:02:27,308 --> 01:02:29,006
I think she's hanging out
in the wrong retirement homes.
1485
01:02:29,136 --> 01:02:30,181
- Yeah?
- I really do.
1486
01:02:33,967 --> 01:02:37,754
Thing is I don't feel
any different than I did
1487
01:02:37,884 --> 01:02:39,277
when I was 25.
1488
01:02:39,407 --> 01:02:41,932
Yeah, same. It's crazy.
1489
01:02:42,062 --> 01:02:43,760
I went to see this band last week,
1490
01:02:43,890 --> 01:02:45,500
and I swear to you,
1491
01:02:45,631 --> 01:02:49,374
I raised the average age of
that room by at least 10 years.
1492
01:02:49,504 --> 01:02:51,028
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1493
01:02:51,158 --> 01:02:54,727
And I caught the eye of
this woman and I smiled at her,
1494
01:02:54,858 --> 01:02:56,294
and she looked me like I was a pedophile.
1495
01:02:56,424 --> 01:02:57,948
Okay, but in her defense-
1496
01:02:58,078 --> 01:02:59,210
- What?
- You just-
1497
01:02:59,340 --> 01:03:02,866
wait, guys at clubs are creepy.
1498
01:03:02,996 --> 01:03:06,043
They are. I mean, I go dancing
and I swear
1499
01:03:06,173 --> 01:03:08,132
every single guy in there is
looking at me like I'm in heat.
1500
01:03:09,698 --> 01:03:12,876
Why can't a girl just look fly
and go dancing, you know?
1501
01:03:13,006 --> 01:03:14,138
I hate to break it to you but
1502
01:03:14,268 --> 01:03:16,967
dancing has always been about sex.
1503
01:03:17,097 --> 01:03:18,229
Yeah. I mean, I saw this
National Geographic video.
1504
01:03:18,359 --> 01:03:19,491
Are you flirting with me?
1505
01:03:22,015 --> 01:03:23,408
Anyway, I saw this video of this
1506
01:03:23,538 --> 01:03:24,801
crazy little red and yellow birds
1507
01:03:24,931 --> 01:03:26,759
and they're doing like,
this mating ritual,
1508
01:03:26,890 --> 01:03:28,369
and I swear to you, it looked exactly
1509
01:03:28,500 --> 01:03:29,457
like the Hammertime move.
1510
01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:31,808
No idea what you're talking about.
1511
01:03:33,287 --> 01:03:36,334
MC Hammer? Hammertime?
Can't touch this?
1512
01:03:36,464 --> 01:03:38,640
I don't know. Can you show me? I
mean is it hard?
1513
01:03:38,771 --> 01:03:40,251
- Serious?
- Yeah.
1514
01:03:40,381 --> 01:03:41,295
- I mean yeah.
- What does it look like?
1515
01:03:41,469 --> 01:03:42,427
- I don't know.
- I'll show you.
1516
01:03:42,557 --> 01:03:45,082
- Okay.
- Are you ready?
1517
01:03:45,212 --> 01:03:46,866
Uh-huh.
- So, it's like-it's like.
1518
01:03:51,523 --> 01:03:53,655
That is-that is something else.
1519
01:03:55,135 --> 01:03:58,269
I mean, I would definitely swipe right.
1520
01:03:58,399 --> 01:03:59,313
- Yeah?
- Yeah, I would swipe right
1521
01:03:59,444 --> 01:04:00,793
if I were a bird.
1522
01:04:00,924 --> 01:04:02,839
Oh okay!
Good, good to know.
1523
01:04:13,893 --> 01:04:15,242
Can I ask you something?
1524
01:04:15,373 --> 01:04:19,377
And it's 100% okay
if you say no, obviously.
1525
01:04:19,507 --> 01:04:21,379
Yeah.
1526
01:04:21,509 --> 01:04:25,035
Can I kiss you?
I just really wanna kiss you.
1527
01:04:29,039 --> 01:04:30,344
I'm not supposed to.
1528
01:04:31,824 --> 01:04:34,566
Oh, okay. Why?
1529
01:04:37,047 --> 01:04:39,397
Because Molly is my best friend
and Geoff is your best friend.
1530
01:04:39,527 --> 01:04:41,703
And if it didn't work out between us
1531
01:04:41,834 --> 01:04:43,575
then that would be awkward for them.
1532
01:04:43,705 --> 01:04:45,403
Right, yeah. Absolutely.
1533
01:04:45,533 --> 01:04:48,536
And, you know, then who
would invite us to this-
1534
01:05:04,857 --> 01:05:05,814
I was just thinking,
1535
01:05:05,945 --> 01:05:08,382
I mean, kissing doesn't
1536
01:05:08,513 --> 01:05:11,516
- have to mean anything, right?
- Totally.
1537
01:05:11,646 --> 01:05:13,561
We can just make out,
just not be in a relationship.
1538
01:05:13,692 --> 01:05:14,867
Nope, yeah.
1539
01:05:17,478 --> 01:05:18,958
Can I ask you something?
1540
01:05:19,089 --> 01:05:22,135
And you can 100% say no.
1541
01:05:22,266 --> 01:05:23,354
Yeah.
1542
01:05:25,138 --> 01:05:26,357
Do you wanna go have sex?
1543
01:05:27,575 --> 01:05:30,013
100% yes. Okay.
1544
01:05:50,163 --> 01:05:51,991
Hey, hey.
1545
01:05:52,122 --> 01:05:54,385
- Hi.
- There you are. I love you.
1546
01:05:54,515 --> 01:05:56,343
I love you too.
1547
01:05:56,474 --> 01:05:58,476
- How are you feeling?
- I feel hot.
1548
01:05:58,606 --> 01:06:01,653
I am so hot, right?
1549
01:06:01,783 --> 01:06:03,220
Are you hot?
1550
01:06:03,350 --> 01:06:04,482
- No.
- Because I am certainly.
1551
01:06:04,612 --> 01:06:05,657
You are very hot.
1552
01:06:05,831 --> 01:06:07,964
You are very attractive human being.
1553
01:06:14,318 --> 01:06:16,146
Oh fuck.
1554
01:06:16,276 --> 01:06:17,451
Yeah.
1555
01:06:19,149 --> 01:06:21,325
If you want to have sex
with my sister-in-law,
1556
01:06:21,455 --> 01:06:23,283
then you should do it
because that's beautiful
1557
01:06:23,414 --> 01:06:26,243
and then we'll be real sisters forever.
1558
01:06:26,373 --> 01:06:27,548
Yeah.
1559
01:06:27,679 --> 01:06:28,723
Forever.
1560
01:06:34,381 --> 01:06:36,253
Oh god, this feels so wrong.
1561
01:06:36,383 --> 01:06:37,428
Do you want me to stop?
1562
01:06:37,558 --> 01:06:39,604
No. God, no, no, no.
Keep going.
1563
01:06:39,734 --> 01:06:41,345
Okay.
1564
01:06:41,475 --> 01:06:44,391
How about this? You sit down
and I get you some water?
1565
01:06:44,522 --> 01:06:46,132
Okay. That sounds magic.
1566
01:06:46,263 --> 01:06:47,394
I bet it does.
1567
01:06:50,180 --> 01:06:51,398
Listen how thirsty I am.
1568
01:06:52,878 --> 01:06:55,707
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's dry in there.
1569
01:06:55,837 --> 01:06:57,578
Okay, just-alright.
1570
01:06:57,709 --> 01:06:59,102
Because I'm so hot.
1571
01:07:04,803 --> 01:07:05,934
Oh god no, what are you doing?
1572
01:07:07,501 --> 01:07:10,461
Well, we didn't use protection
so I pulled out.
1573
01:07:10,591 --> 01:07:12,550
But that's not what was
supposed to happen.
1574
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:15,161
- What?
- Oh god. Okay.
1575
01:07:15,292 --> 01:07:18,164
I mean, that's okay.
That's okay.
1576
01:07:20,471 --> 01:07:21,994
Oh, here, I'll-
1577
01:07:22,125 --> 01:07:23,691
I'll do that.
I don't want you-
1578
01:07:23,822 --> 01:07:24,605
I don't want you to do the dirty work.
1579
01:07:24,736 --> 01:07:25,867
It's okay. I got it.
1580
01:07:25,998 --> 01:07:26,999
Okay.
1581
01:07:28,479 --> 01:07:29,523
Sorry about the-you know.
1582
01:07:29,654 --> 01:07:30,611
No, it's okay.
1583
01:07:30,742 --> 01:07:32,700
And that was amazing.
1584
01:07:32,831 --> 01:07:36,487
Yeah, that was amazing.
It really was.
1585
01:07:36,617 --> 01:07:38,489
Yeah. So-
1586
01:07:41,753 --> 01:07:43,885
I'll just see you out there.
1587
01:07:44,016 --> 01:07:45,191
Alright.
1588
01:07:51,893 --> 01:07:53,069
Shit.
1589
01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:58,117
Hey Siri,
1590
01:07:59,553 --> 01:08:01,773
how long does sperm last outside the body?
1591
01:08:17,267 --> 01:08:19,704
No, no, no, no. This is wrong.
No, no, no.
1592
01:08:36,460 --> 01:08:37,852
Okay, alright.
1593
01:08:39,811 --> 01:08:41,117
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
1594
01:08:45,338 --> 01:08:47,035
Hurry, hurry, come on.
1595
01:08:48,298 --> 01:08:49,603
I don't want it to get on my dress.
1596
01:08:49,908 --> 01:08:52,563
Please, I can feel it
going down my back. Eww. Please.
1597
01:08:52,693 --> 01:08:54,086
Alright. Hold still.
1598
01:08:54,217 --> 01:08:55,392
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
1599
01:08:55,522 --> 01:08:56,654
- Make sure you get it all.
- Yeah, I am.
1600
01:08:56,784 --> 01:08:58,395
Some kind of got to the crack.
Alright.
1601
01:08:59,700 --> 01:09:01,659
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
1602
01:09:01,789 --> 01:09:03,095
So, you know, you can't pay me enough
1603
01:09:03,226 --> 01:09:04,705
- to do the second part.
- No, no, no.
1604
01:09:04,836 --> 01:09:05,837
No, no, no.
I know, I know.
1605
01:09:05,967 --> 01:09:07,708
Okay.
1606
01:09:07,839 --> 01:09:08,753
- Hey Junior.
- Hey.
1607
01:09:08,883 --> 01:09:10,015
Why are you in such a good mood?
1608
01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:12,365
Oh, I'm just hanging.
I'm partying.
1609
01:09:16,891 --> 01:09:18,066
What's up?
1610
01:09:18,197 --> 01:09:19,242
Hey, man.
1611
01:09:21,244 --> 01:09:23,594
You sneaking around Jaclyn too?
1612
01:09:23,724 --> 01:09:25,465
What?
1613
01:09:25,596 --> 01:09:27,424
She's quite the slippery mix, that one.
1614
01:09:28,729 --> 01:09:29,774
Okay.
1615
01:09:31,341 --> 01:09:32,429
Oh shit.
1616
01:09:36,215 --> 01:09:37,956
Hey, do you know where Geoff is?
1617
01:09:38,086 --> 01:09:39,784
I love this party.
1618
01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:44,745
- Hi.
- Hey.
1619
01:09:44,876 --> 01:09:46,791
- Hello.
- There's the birthday boy.
1620
01:09:46,921 --> 01:09:50,186
- Yeah.
- Get in the pool. Get inside me.
1621
01:09:50,316 --> 01:09:52,275
Sweetie, why don't you
get out of the pool, huh?
1622
01:09:52,405 --> 01:09:54,102
No, no, no, no.
1623
01:09:54,233 --> 01:09:57,541
You come in the pool
because guess what it is?
1624
01:09:57,671 --> 01:10:00,457
It's later.
1625
01:10:00,587 --> 01:10:03,503
Get in your birthday suit
you birthday boy.
1626
01:10:03,634 --> 01:10:06,463
And come on.
This whole pool feels like sex.
1627
01:10:08,595 --> 01:10:12,033
I don't think now is the best later, okay?
1628
01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:15,863
Fine. Then just go back inside.
1629
01:10:15,994 --> 01:10:17,387
No, I mean-Look,
1630
01:10:17,691 --> 01:10:19,911
you know I'm totally down for
the later thing, the plan.
1631
01:10:20,041 --> 01:10:22,043
- Just now is-
- MOLLY: It was a moment.
1632
01:10:22,174 --> 01:10:25,395
And it was gonna be beautiful and perfect.
1633
01:10:25,525 --> 01:10:27,179
But you ruined it.
1634
01:10:27,310 --> 01:10:29,834
And so, I guess we'll just keep
1635
01:10:29,964 --> 01:10:31,923
never ever having sex.
1636
01:10:32,053 --> 01:10:33,751
Ever, ever, ever, ever.
1637
01:10:33,881 --> 01:10:36,667
And then one day we'll have sex
and it will be like,
1638
01:10:36,797 --> 01:10:38,756
- "We have to throw a parade."
- I'm gonna go get Jacyln.
1639
01:10:38,886 --> 01:10:41,193
Yay, we had sex.
1640
01:10:42,977 --> 01:10:45,023
So, you and Armin.
1641
01:10:45,153 --> 01:10:46,894
What am I gonna tell Molly?
1642
01:10:47,025 --> 01:10:49,288
Girl, I told Geoff I wasn't
flirting with his sister
1643
01:10:49,419 --> 01:10:52,770
which is a promise
I don't intend on keeping. Okay?
1644
01:10:52,900 --> 01:10:54,206
You're the best.
1645
01:10:57,470 --> 01:11:00,343
I'm here for moral support.
1646
01:11:00,473 --> 01:11:03,694
Okay well, thank you.
1647
01:11:03,824 --> 01:11:05,565
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
1648
01:11:08,873 --> 01:11:12,224
- Hey guys, have you seen Jackie?
- No? Alright.
1649
01:11:12,355 --> 01:11:13,530
Hey, have you seen Jackie?
1650
01:11:13,660 --> 01:11:15,619
You gotta be kidding me.
You too?
1651
01:11:17,011 --> 01:11:19,144
You know, you have a beautiful wife.
1652
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,667
You should take care of her.
1653
01:11:20,798 --> 01:11:22,626
Or someone else will.
1654
01:11:22,756 --> 01:11:24,584
Okay, okay.
1655
01:11:24,715 --> 01:11:27,544
Listen to me you flea market Picasso.
1656
01:11:27,674 --> 01:11:30,634
Your next words, I would
choose them very carefully.
1657
01:11:30,764 --> 01:11:31,939
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
1658
01:11:32,070 --> 01:11:35,421
Or what? Oh!
He made me spill my drink.
1659
01:11:36,640 --> 01:11:37,815
I think you should leave, huh?
1660
01:11:37,945 --> 01:11:39,033
I would prefer not to.
1661
01:11:40,252 --> 01:11:41,514
I don't give a fuck.
1662
01:11:46,084 --> 01:11:47,738
Occupied!
1663
01:11:47,868 --> 01:11:50,610
Oh shit.
I was just doing crunches.
1664
01:11:50,741 --> 01:11:52,308
What do you mean occupied?
1665
01:11:58,270 --> 01:12:01,186
I'm sorry, Geoff. I-
1666
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:03,406
I need you to get Molly out of the pool
1667
01:12:03,536 --> 01:12:07,105
where she's swimming in her under things.
1668
01:12:07,235 --> 01:12:08,585
Okay, absolutely.
1669
01:12:08,715 --> 01:12:11,065
- Okay?
- Geoff, does this mean
1670
01:12:11,196 --> 01:12:12,719
I'm not invited to Thanksgiving?
1671
01:12:12,850 --> 01:12:15,853
Get her out of the pool! God!
1672
01:12:24,601 --> 01:12:25,602
- Hey.
- Hey.
1673
01:12:25,732 --> 01:12:27,125
Hi. Hi.
1674
01:12:27,255 --> 01:12:30,041
Just-I just have to go help Molly.
1675
01:12:30,171 --> 01:12:33,436
Oh, and let's just keep that
1676
01:12:33,566 --> 01:12:34,741
to ourselves, yeah?
1677
01:12:34,872 --> 01:12:36,177
Yeah, yeah. Definitely.
1678
01:12:36,308 --> 01:12:37,527
On the down low.
1679
01:12:37,657 --> 01:12:39,616
The QT. Totally.
1680
01:12:41,748 --> 01:12:43,837
Then again, it's like
we're not in junior high. Right?
1681
01:12:43,968 --> 01:12:45,970
We don't need Geoff
and Molly's permission to
1682
01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:48,320
I don't know, say, go to a concert.
1683
01:12:48,451 --> 01:12:52,063
I'm on the board at StubHub
and I can get us primo seats.
1684
01:12:52,193 --> 01:12:54,021
What do you say?
1685
01:12:54,152 --> 01:12:55,196
Yeah I mean, yeah. That could
happen.
1686
01:12:55,327 --> 01:12:57,721
Yeah, okay, cool.
Got you a glass.
1687
01:12:57,851 --> 01:12:59,505
No, no.
1688
01:12:59,636 --> 01:13:01,072
You've heard of NFTs, right?
1689
01:13:01,202 --> 01:13:03,422
This is weed fungible tokens.
It's an investment.
1690
01:13:07,644 --> 01:13:08,558
Hey.
1691
01:13:10,603 --> 01:13:12,605
Geoff won't have sex with me.
1692
01:13:14,390 --> 01:13:17,784
I don't think his birthday
party is the best time to do it.
1693
01:13:17,915 --> 01:13:19,264
You know?
1694
01:13:19,395 --> 01:13:21,571
We barely even have sex anymore ever.
1695
01:13:21,701 --> 01:13:23,834
Honey, you guys have been
married a long time.
1696
01:13:25,183 --> 01:13:27,141
You know, at the end for Todd and I,
1697
01:13:27,272 --> 01:13:30,101
we had sex maybe like,
1698
01:13:30,231 --> 01:13:31,798
twice a month.
1699
01:13:31,929 --> 01:13:34,018
Yeah, but you were unhappy.
1700
01:13:34,148 --> 01:13:35,149
When we started dating,
1701
01:13:35,280 --> 01:13:37,413
we had sex two times a night.
1702
01:13:37,543 --> 01:13:40,503
We just recently went
on a romantic spa getaway
1703
01:13:40,633 --> 01:13:42,418
and we had sex one time
1704
01:13:42,548 --> 01:13:44,594
in three nights.
1705
01:13:44,724 --> 01:13:46,117
Maybe men slow down as they age.
1706
01:13:46,247 --> 01:13:49,642
No, that's what I wanted.
1707
01:13:49,773 --> 01:13:51,252
That's not me.
1708
01:13:53,211 --> 01:13:56,432
Well, this definitely is you.
1709
01:13:56,562 --> 01:13:58,564
I mean, this reminds me of
some of the fun times we had
1710
01:13:58,695 --> 01:13:59,870
in senior year.
1711
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:02,699
Right?
Because I used to be fun.
1712
01:14:02,829 --> 01:14:04,962
Like, I was fun, right?
1713
01:14:05,092 --> 01:14:08,008
But I'm not any fun anymore.
1714
01:14:08,139 --> 01:14:08,966
- Yes, you are.
- I'm not.
1715
01:14:09,096 --> 01:14:10,402
I'm not even a fun mom.
1716
01:14:10,533 --> 01:14:12,099
I thought I'd be a cool mom.
But I'm not.
1717
01:14:12,230 --> 01:14:14,319
I yell.
I yell at my kids.
1718
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:15,625
I do it, I do.
1719
01:14:15,755 --> 01:14:16,843
Everybody does.
1720
01:14:18,323 --> 01:14:19,759
Come here, come here.
1721
01:14:21,892 --> 01:14:23,763
I almost had sex with Tim.
1722
01:14:23,894 --> 01:14:24,982
What?
1723
01:14:25,112 --> 01:14:26,113
I really wanted to.
1724
01:14:26,244 --> 01:14:28,551
Molly, he's the worst.
1725
01:14:28,681 --> 01:14:30,596
And it's your fault that I didn't do it.
1726
01:14:30,727 --> 01:14:32,642
I just was thinking about you and Todd,
1727
01:14:32,772 --> 01:14:34,731
and I didn't want to break my marriage.
1728
01:14:34,861 --> 01:14:36,123
I love Geoff.
I love him.
1729
01:14:36,254 --> 01:14:37,734
He's a good man.
1730
01:14:39,387 --> 01:14:42,869
I'm so bored.
I'm like, so, so bored.
1731
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,829
And I just-I hate my new friends.
1732
01:14:45,959 --> 01:14:49,136
Because I-No, no, no.
I don't-I don't hate them.
1733
01:14:49,267 --> 01:14:51,095
I just-
1734
01:14:51,225 --> 01:14:53,924
I do hate me when I'm with them.
1735
01:14:54,054 --> 01:14:56,622
I fucking hate all of it.
1736
01:14:56,753 --> 01:14:58,929
Like, I hate dance try outs.
1737
01:14:59,059 --> 01:15:01,061
And I hate room moms.
1738
01:15:01,192 --> 01:15:04,325
"Oh, please upload a photos
of your sweet little angels
1739
01:15:04,456 --> 01:15:06,632
into the Shutterfly site."
1740
01:15:06,763 --> 01:15:08,286
Why didn't you upload any photos?
1741
01:15:08,416 --> 01:15:09,940
You forgot to upload the photos.
1742
01:15:10,070 --> 01:15:11,245
Could you just do that please?
1743
01:15:11,376 --> 01:15:13,030
"Could you please do that?"
1744
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,422
Jackie, don't be a mom.
1745
01:15:17,991 --> 01:15:20,603
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
1746
01:15:20,733 --> 01:15:23,519
But you won't be fun anymore
because I'm not fun anymore.
1747
01:15:23,649 --> 01:15:25,433
And I'm never gonna see you.
1748
01:15:25,564 --> 01:15:28,219
When do you even see me?
I'm like your best friend.
1749
01:15:28,349 --> 01:15:31,265
Wait. Am I even your
best friend anymore?
1750
01:15:31,396 --> 01:15:32,397
Of course, you are.
1751
01:15:34,617 --> 01:15:37,707
Molly, come on.
Sisters before misters.
1752
01:15:37,837 --> 01:15:39,143
I love you.
1753
01:15:39,273 --> 01:15:40,492
I love you.
1754
01:15:46,542 --> 01:15:48,413
Also, why am I in the pool?
1755
01:15:48,544 --> 01:15:50,546
I don't know.
1756
01:15:50,676 --> 01:15:52,809
Maybe I thought everybody would get in.
1757
01:15:52,939 --> 01:15:56,247
Yeah. Maybe it'll be a good
idea for you to get out
1758
01:15:56,377 --> 01:15:57,770
and do the cake.
1759
01:15:57,901 --> 01:15:59,772
Oh no, the cake.
1760
01:15:59,903 --> 01:16:03,167
Oh no, it's Geoff's birthday.
I ruined Geoff's birthday.
1761
01:16:03,297 --> 01:16:06,213
No, no, no.
I think I have you beat there.
1762
01:16:06,344 --> 01:16:07,737
It's true.
1763
01:16:09,216 --> 01:16:10,566
It's probably true.
1764
01:16:10,696 --> 01:16:11,654
Alright, okay.
1765
01:16:11,784 --> 01:16:12,524
You know, I love you.
1766
01:16:12,655 --> 01:16:14,482
I love you too.
1767
01:16:14,613 --> 01:16:17,094
Can I-Can I borrow you for a sec.
1768
01:16:17,224 --> 01:16:18,574
I'm just helping Molly with the cake.
1769
01:16:18,704 --> 01:16:20,358
Yeah, it'll be great.
1770
01:16:20,488 --> 01:16:21,577
It's okay.
1771
01:16:21,707 --> 01:16:23,187
I'll be right back. Okay.
1772
01:16:33,806 --> 01:16:37,114
Cake, frosting.
I'm coming for you candles.
1773
01:16:38,550 --> 01:16:40,247
Joyce, hey.
1774
01:16:40,378 --> 01:16:43,773
I just wanted to introduce you
to my girlfriend, Jaclyn.
1775
01:16:43,903 --> 01:16:46,732
Huh. How convenient.
1776
01:16:46,863 --> 01:16:48,604
It's a pleasure to meet you.
1777
01:16:48,734 --> 01:16:50,780
How long have you two been together?
1778
01:16:50,910 --> 01:16:53,826
We're not actually "dating" dating.
1779
01:16:53,957 --> 01:16:56,046
Yeah, but it seems promising.
1780
01:16:56,176 --> 01:16:57,830
You know, just nice to be with someone
1781
01:16:57,961 --> 01:16:59,702
who doesn't play games.
1782
01:16:59,832 --> 01:17:03,575
Oh, yeah. I get that.
I do adore games.
1783
01:17:03,706 --> 01:17:05,229
Probably because I enjoy the company
1784
01:17:05,359 --> 01:17:06,752
- of other human beings.
- A lot, yeah.
1785
01:17:06,883 --> 01:17:08,449
I shouldn't be in the middle.
1786
01:17:08,667 --> 01:17:10,713
Is everything alright over here?
Are these people bothering you?
1787
01:17:10,843 --> 01:17:12,584
Who the fuck is this guy?
1788
01:17:12,715 --> 01:17:14,325
- Uh, he-
- Wait a minute. I know you.
1789
01:17:14,455 --> 01:17:15,935
Are you the shirtless chef?
1790
01:17:16,066 --> 01:17:17,502
Oh my god, I love your
brined chicken breasts.
1791
01:17:17,633 --> 01:17:18,851
They're so good.
1792
01:17:19,025 --> 01:17:20,723
It's the smoked paprika
and pineapple juice
1793
01:17:20,853 --> 01:17:22,333
that makes it boom.
1794
01:17:22,463 --> 01:17:23,769
Do you drink a lot of pineapple juice?
1795
01:17:23,900 --> 01:17:24,988
- Tons.
- Ah,
1796
01:17:25,118 --> 01:17:26,206
it's got that sweet sauce?
1797
01:17:26,380 --> 01:17:27,947
Yeah, it's got that sweet sauce.
1798
01:17:28,078 --> 01:17:29,688
Okay, what is going on here?
1799
01:17:29,819 --> 01:17:32,778
Just talking to people
at a party I was invited to.
1800
01:17:32,909 --> 01:17:33,866
So.
1801
01:17:35,476 --> 01:17:38,741
Hi, it's me MJ from the bathroom.
1802
01:17:38,871 --> 01:17:41,221
I know it's not Jeff Goldblum,
but it is a dinosaur
1803
01:17:41,352 --> 01:17:44,181
and they're apex predators
and you're the apex predator
1804
01:17:44,311 --> 01:17:45,617
of my heart.
1805
01:17:45,748 --> 01:17:47,706
Hey yo, before you leave,
1806
01:17:47,837 --> 01:17:49,360
we're gonna have a little survey.
1807
01:17:49,490 --> 01:17:52,755
Show hands who here has not had sex
1808
01:17:52,885 --> 01:17:54,278
with Jaclyn tonight.
1809
01:17:54,408 --> 01:17:56,193
Show of hands please.
1810
01:17:56,323 --> 01:17:59,283
One, two, three, four, five.
1811
01:17:59,413 --> 01:18:00,850
It's more than I would have thought.
1812
01:18:00,980 --> 01:18:02,939
Did you have a gang bang
at my birthday party?
1813
01:18:03,069 --> 01:18:04,331
No. No.
1814
01:18:04,462 --> 01:18:06,856
Okay, whoa, you're slut shaming her.
1815
01:18:06,986 --> 01:18:08,684
No, it's truth telling.
1816
01:18:08,814 --> 01:18:10,816
She fucked four guys at my house.
1817
01:18:10,947 --> 01:18:13,601
Oh my god.
When you went upstairs.
1818
01:18:13,732 --> 01:18:16,039
Please tell me that you
did not have sex in my bed.
1819
01:18:16,169 --> 01:18:17,518
No, I didn't.
1820
01:18:17,649 --> 01:18:20,478
He is the only guy I didn't have sex with.
1821
01:18:20,608 --> 01:18:22,393
I buy that. Yeah.
1822
01:18:23,916 --> 01:18:27,006
Obviously, I mean, you're
uninvited to Thanksgiving.
1823
01:18:27,137 --> 01:18:28,225
You know what? This guy?
1824
01:18:28,355 --> 01:18:30,053
Yeah, okay.
I get it.
1825
01:18:30,183 --> 01:18:32,229
You had sex with the shirtless
chef? Lucky.
1826
01:18:32,359 --> 01:18:35,406
And this one, yes, okay, I get it.
1827
01:18:38,235 --> 01:18:41,804
But him? Really? Him over me?
You've gotta be kidding me.
1828
01:18:41,934 --> 01:18:43,240
I thought I was your wish come true.
1829
01:18:43,370 --> 01:18:44,371
You are.
1830
01:18:52,815 --> 01:18:53,946
Everybody singing.
1831
01:18:57,602 --> 01:18:58,603
What are you?
1832
01:19:03,173 --> 01:19:05,784
- What is the matter with you?
- Honey, make a wish.
1833
01:19:05,915 --> 01:19:06,872
I love you.
1834
01:19:08,308 --> 01:19:09,483
I wish this night would fucking end.
1835
01:19:10,702 --> 01:19:11,790
It didn't.
1836
01:19:11,921 --> 01:19:13,096
That was pretty dark.
1837
01:19:13,226 --> 01:19:14,445
I should go.
1838
01:19:14,575 --> 01:19:16,186
No, no, you're not going anywhere.
1839
01:19:16,316 --> 01:19:18,014
Didn't it mean anything to you?
1840
01:19:18,144 --> 01:19:20,625
Of course it did.
It was fun.
1841
01:19:20,756 --> 01:19:22,627
Can't that be enough?
1842
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:25,543
But physical touch,
that's my love language.
1843
01:19:25,673 --> 01:19:28,111
Well, acts of service are mine.
1844
01:19:28,241 --> 01:19:30,417
Jaclyn, I thought we had a connection.
1845
01:19:30,548 --> 01:19:32,985
We did. We do.
1846
01:19:33,116 --> 01:19:36,467
You slept with Armin?
But I asked you not to.
1847
01:19:36,597 --> 01:19:37,555
Why not me?
1848
01:19:37,685 --> 01:19:40,079
Wait, Molly.
1849
01:19:40,210 --> 01:19:41,777
Did you have something to do with this?
1850
01:19:43,430 --> 01:19:45,432
No. No, no, no.
1851
01:19:45,563 --> 01:19:48,218
She told me way before the party
1852
01:19:48,348 --> 01:19:50,829
not to have sex with Armin.
1853
01:19:50,960 --> 01:19:52,700
Okay, why not me?
1854
01:19:52,831 --> 01:19:54,224
This is like "The bachelorette."
1855
01:19:54,354 --> 01:19:55,703
Yeah, with fucking.
1856
01:19:55,834 --> 01:19:57,140
Oh, there's fucking on "The Bachelorette".
1857
01:19:57,531 --> 01:20:00,447
You guys, there is a really
simple explanation for all this.
1858
01:20:01,840 --> 01:20:03,537
Jaclyn has stage 4 lymphoma.
1859
01:20:03,668 --> 01:20:05,801
She's got a week to live.
1860
01:20:05,931 --> 01:20:06,976
So, she slept with a bunch of guys.
1861
01:20:07,106 --> 01:20:08,499
Who are we to judge?
1862
01:20:08,804 --> 01:20:11,241
Wow, you look amazing for
stage 4 cancer. You really do.
1863
01:20:11,371 --> 01:20:12,590
- Really hot.
- Oh Jaclyn-jaan.
1864
01:20:12,764 --> 01:20:14,461
This is why you quit
Jen Aniston's charity?
1865
01:20:14,592 --> 01:20:15,941
Wait, you know Jen Aniston?
1866
01:20:16,289 --> 01:20:17,813
Can you put in a good word
for me before like-you know.
1867
01:20:17,943 --> 01:20:19,727
No, I'm not dying, okay?
1868
01:20:19,858 --> 01:20:21,686
And I didn't quit my job.
1869
01:20:21,817 --> 01:20:23,949
And my mom didn't break her hip.
1870
01:20:24,080 --> 01:20:25,733
And I think that covers all the lies.
1871
01:20:25,864 --> 01:20:29,650
And I am really, really sorry
if I hurt you guys.
1872
01:20:31,261 --> 01:20:34,438
I'm sorry, Geoff. I'm sorry if I
ruined your birthday.
1873
01:20:34,568 --> 01:20:35,961
Apology accepted.
I'll get the door.
1874
01:20:40,313 --> 01:20:41,619
We were just making
1875
01:20:41,924 --> 01:20:43,360
out in the closet. It's not a
metaphor for anything.
1876
01:20:43,490 --> 01:20:46,102
You know, if anybody
should be having sex, it's me.
1877
01:20:46,232 --> 01:20:47,930
It's my party.
It's my party.
1878
01:20:48,060 --> 01:20:49,409
Oh Geoffrey, grow up.
1879
01:20:49,540 --> 01:20:50,889
Where are you going?
1880
01:20:51,194 --> 01:20:51,890
- The party's over.
- What do you mean
1881
01:20:52,021 --> 01:20:53,674
the party's over? Oh.
1882
01:20:55,763 --> 01:20:57,635
Enjoy your walk of shame, slut.
1883
01:21:05,556 --> 01:21:07,906
I knew you'd come back for me.
1884
01:21:08,037 --> 01:21:11,605
Listen, you misogynistic
untalented nut sack,
1885
01:21:11,736 --> 01:21:13,085
if I'm really such a slut,
1886
01:21:13,216 --> 01:21:14,739
then why didn't I sleep with you?
1887
01:21:14,870 --> 01:21:17,089
And also, fuck you for calling me a slut.
1888
01:21:17,220 --> 01:21:20,223
I can sleep with whoever I want
and however many people I want.
1889
01:21:20,353 --> 01:21:23,400
Just because you didn't get laid
doesn't make me the bad guy.
1890
01:21:23,530 --> 01:21:26,620
And actually, it was deliberate
choice not to sleep with you
1891
01:21:26,751 --> 01:21:30,015
because the very thought of
a miniature you make me sick.
1892
01:21:30,146 --> 01:21:32,104
Wow, why would there be miniature me?
1893
01:21:35,499 --> 01:21:37,980
Because you were all selected
1894
01:21:38,110 --> 01:21:40,504
for a very special purpose.
1895
01:21:40,634 --> 01:21:42,462
I gotta say, it's beautiful.
1896
01:21:42,593 --> 01:21:44,856
Is this a Mormon thing?
Like, you're sister wives?
1897
01:21:44,987 --> 01:21:46,466
Wait a minute.
Is this a key party?
1898
01:21:46,597 --> 01:21:48,033
Oh my god, is this a coven?
1899
01:21:48,164 --> 01:21:50,296
Where the fuck are my-
Never mind, I got it.
1900
01:21:50,427 --> 01:21:51,994
You told me the condom broke.
1901
01:21:52,124 --> 01:21:54,213
It did. It did technically.
1902
01:21:54,344 --> 01:21:55,954
You know, I just-I might have
helped it a little bit.
1903
01:21:56,085 --> 01:21:59,436
Girl, this is deceivious.
I like it.
1904
01:21:59,566 --> 01:22:01,133
She wants a baby.
1905
01:22:01,307 --> 01:22:04,789
So, one of you lucky guys
is gonna be a baby daddy. Yay.
1906
01:22:06,878 --> 01:22:09,402
And who wants cake?
1907
01:22:09,533 --> 01:22:11,317
Well, at least I know it's not mine.
1908
01:22:11,448 --> 01:22:13,580
I pulled out.
1909
01:22:13,711 --> 01:22:15,104
Umm.
1910
01:22:15,234 --> 01:22:18,020
- How?
- Life finds a way.
1911
01:22:18,150 --> 01:22:19,456
Okay, so which one was I?
1912
01:22:21,240 --> 01:22:23,764
Oh god, I after-I'm gonna be sick.
1913
01:22:23,895 --> 01:22:25,027
Yeah, I want a DNA test.
1914
01:22:25,157 --> 01:22:26,550
Yeah, I feel really used right now.
1915
01:22:26,680 --> 01:22:28,117
Like, I'm losing money coming here.
1916
01:22:28,247 --> 01:22:29,814
I didn't eat carbs.
1917
01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:32,773
Bottomline is,
none of these men gave their consent.
1918
01:22:32,904 --> 01:22:34,427
What you did is fraud.
1919
01:22:34,645 --> 01:22:37,256
Well, it's only fraud If she
tricked them into having sex.
1920
01:22:37,387 --> 01:22:40,085
I mean, look at her.
I say they hit the jackpot.
1921
01:22:40,216 --> 01:22:41,391
Thank you. Stop fucking whining.
1922
01:22:41,521 --> 01:22:42,609
I know y'all wanted to get a piece of
1923
01:22:42,740 --> 01:22:44,655
Jackie's McGinley's Vaginley.
1924
01:22:44,785 --> 01:22:46,309
This was just supposed
to be a one-time thing.
1925
01:22:46,439 --> 01:22:48,311
I'm probably gonna plan B
the whole thing anyway.
1926
01:22:48,441 --> 01:22:49,399
Oh, no, no. Don't do that.
1927
01:22:52,924 --> 01:22:55,187
Each and every one of you
are good and decent men.
1928
01:22:55,318 --> 01:22:56,580
Except you.
1929
01:22:56,710 --> 01:22:58,886
And I'm so sorry for lying.
1930
01:22:59,017 --> 01:23:02,194
But I had a really good time.
1931
01:23:02,325 --> 01:23:03,630
But if we met in real life, okay?
1932
01:23:03,761 --> 01:23:06,242
On a real date.
Who would you pick?
1933
01:23:06,372 --> 01:23:09,854
Because if it were up to me,
I would pick you in a heartbeat.
1934
01:23:09,985 --> 01:23:12,813
Oh, that is really thoughtful
1935
01:23:12,944 --> 01:23:14,598
and amazing to hear.
1936
01:23:15,860 --> 01:23:18,297
Okay. Well, that settles it.
1937
01:23:18,428 --> 01:23:19,472
Oh my god.
1938
01:23:21,518 --> 01:23:22,780
- Get up, man. Get up.
- Jaclyn, will you marry me?
1939
01:23:22,910 --> 01:23:24,434
- No.
- I don't want our baby to
1940
01:23:24,564 --> 01:23:25,783
enter the world a bastard.
1941
01:23:25,913 --> 01:23:27,872
Yeah, that bastard could be my kid.
1942
01:23:28,003 --> 01:23:29,308
Huh, let's hope not.
1943
01:23:29,439 --> 01:23:30,614
Points for creativity.
1944
01:23:30,744 --> 01:23:33,051
But legal or not, this plan is insane.
1945
01:23:33,182 --> 01:23:35,836
Yes, you're right.
It is insane.
1946
01:23:35,967 --> 01:23:37,229
I didn't want to get pregnant this way.
1947
01:23:37,360 --> 01:23:39,405
I really didn't.
I would love
1948
01:23:39,536 --> 01:23:41,755
to have a baby with a loving husband.
1949
01:23:41,886 --> 01:23:44,628
And yes, I could adopt
and I could go to a sperm bank.
1950
01:23:44,758 --> 01:23:46,847
But I want to know who the father is.
1951
01:23:46,978 --> 01:23:48,980
Because one day, I can look at my child
1952
01:23:49,111 --> 01:23:52,766
and I can say, "Your father
was a kind and decent man."
1953
01:23:52,897 --> 01:23:54,768
And they don't have an app for that.
1954
01:23:54,899 --> 01:23:55,900
My god.
1955
01:23:56,118 --> 01:23:56,988
I came up with this crazy...
1956
01:23:57,119 --> 01:23:58,250
You think what I'm thinking?
1957
01:23:58,381 --> 01:23:59,643
I can get a prototype up in a month.
1958
01:23:59,773 --> 01:24:01,471
Selfish and a horrible person.
1959
01:24:01,601 --> 01:24:03,212
And I'm sorry.
1960
01:24:03,342 --> 01:24:06,867
I just wanted to have a baby of
my own. If I still could.
1961
01:24:06,998 --> 01:24:10,088
I mean, god. When you put it
like that, I just-it's-
1962
01:24:10,219 --> 01:24:11,481
Are you insane?
1963
01:24:11,611 --> 01:24:13,004
Are you insane?
1964
01:24:13,135 --> 01:24:14,614
Have you all people lost your minds?
1965
01:24:15,876 --> 01:24:18,618
This-this woman stole your sperm.
1966
01:24:19,880 --> 01:24:22,318
She stole your sperm, man.
1967
01:24:22,448 --> 01:24:25,408
She stole your sperm.
She stole your sperm.
1968
01:24:25,538 --> 01:24:26,583
She's a sperm burglar.
1969
01:24:26,713 --> 01:24:27,932
- What?
- Yeah.
1970
01:24:28,063 --> 01:24:29,194
You ask me,
1971
01:24:30,804 --> 01:24:33,416
your ex got off the crazy train
1972
01:24:33,546 --> 01:24:34,504
just in the nick of time.
1973
01:24:38,203 --> 01:24:39,465
God dammit.
1974
01:24:39,596 --> 01:24:40,553
I wanted to do that.
1975
01:24:42,207 --> 01:24:44,601
Oh my god. My water just broke.
1976
01:24:44,731 --> 01:24:45,776
- Oh no!
- Is that all
1977
01:24:46,168 --> 01:24:48,039
- coming from me?
- Baby you're water boarding him.
1978
01:24:48,170 --> 01:24:50,911
- Oh my god.
- It's in my mouth.
1979
01:24:51,042 --> 01:24:53,392
- Salty Brian.
- I think that's gonna stain.
1980
01:24:53,523 --> 01:24:55,916
Oh my god. You have to take me
to the hospital like, now.
1981
01:24:56,047 --> 01:24:58,441
Baby, I'm three tumblers deep
into this scotch here.
1982
01:24:58,571 --> 01:24:59,833
Well, what are you gonna do, ding-dong?
1983
01:24:59,964 --> 01:25:02,009
I can take you. I can take you.
I got this.
1984
01:25:07,841 --> 01:25:10,017
Isn't there a breathing thing
you could be doing right now?
1985
01:25:10,148 --> 01:25:13,499
Yeah, right. Remember baby,
1986
01:25:13,630 --> 01:25:17,112
- hee-hee-hoooo, hee-hee-hoooo.
- Okay, hee-hee-hoo.
1987
01:25:17,242 --> 01:25:20,811
Fuck you.
I wanna push, it's coming.
1988
01:25:20,941 --> 01:25:22,508
No pushing in the car.
1989
01:25:22,639 --> 01:25:24,206
Jaclyn, we're close, right?
1990
01:25:24,336 --> 01:25:26,164
Yeah, yeah.
Minutes away, minutes away.
1991
01:25:26,295 --> 01:25:27,600
Oh look, look, put this here.
1992
01:25:27,731 --> 01:25:29,124
You can put that right under there.
1993
01:25:29,254 --> 01:25:30,734
Squeeze your legs together real tight.
1994
01:25:30,864 --> 01:25:32,344
Because it's real leather.
1995
01:25:32,475 --> 01:25:34,781
It's real leather.
We paid for this nice leather.
1996
01:25:41,658 --> 01:25:42,876
Get out of the car.
1997
01:25:43,007 --> 01:25:45,314
Get out of the car.
Get out of the car.
1998
01:25:45,444 --> 01:25:46,445
Get out of the car.
1999
01:25:49,448 --> 01:25:50,406
Wait, what's up?
2000
01:25:51,537 --> 01:25:54,105
My dad was a piece of shit
who was never around.
2001
01:25:56,977 --> 01:25:59,763
You have to promise me
you're not gonna be like that.
2002
01:25:59,893 --> 01:26:02,766
I'm never gonna leave you.
Ever.
2003
01:26:04,028 --> 01:26:05,856
Okay? I know you're scared.
2004
01:26:05,986 --> 01:26:08,250
I'm scared too, but we're a team, okay?
2005
01:26:08,380 --> 01:26:10,382
It's you and me versus everybody.
2006
01:26:10,513 --> 01:26:11,470
- Okay.
- Okay?
2007
01:26:11,601 --> 01:26:12,776
- Okay.
- Okay?
2008
01:26:12,993 --> 01:26:14,386
- Yeah, yeah.
- You ready to meet our daughter?
2009
01:26:14,517 --> 01:26:15,518
- Yes.
- Come on.
2010
01:26:15,735 --> 01:26:17,476
- Yeah, yeah.
- Let's do it. Let's go.
2011
01:26:17,607 --> 01:26:20,262
- Here's a wheelchair.
- Oh god.
2012
01:26:20,392 --> 01:26:21,306
Easy.
2013
01:26:23,700 --> 01:26:25,702
Okay, now you can push.
2014
01:26:28,270 --> 01:26:31,229
Hee-hee-hoooo, hee-hee-hoooo.
2015
01:26:31,360 --> 01:26:32,665
Hee-hee-hooo.
2016
01:26:34,450 --> 01:26:35,886
Crazy.
2017
01:26:38,323 --> 01:26:40,064
There isn't gonna be anyone there for me.
2018
01:26:41,413 --> 01:26:44,808
- No.
- I'm gonna be all alone.
2019
01:26:44,938 --> 01:26:48,246
I've got no one by my side,
no one to hold my hand.
2020
01:26:48,377 --> 01:26:50,292
Oh my god.
What have I done?
2021
01:26:50,422 --> 01:26:51,728
I've just been-
2022
01:26:51,858 --> 01:26:54,121
I've just been so focused on
getting pregnant
2023
01:26:54,252 --> 01:26:57,690
that I didn't even think about
how I was gonna raise the kid.
2024
01:26:57,821 --> 01:27:01,738
I mean, why would I choose
to be a single mom?
2025
01:27:01,868 --> 01:27:03,261
This is crazy.
2026
01:27:03,392 --> 01:27:04,784
This is something we
should have thought about
2027
01:27:04,915 --> 01:27:06,656
like, three hours ago.
2028
01:27:06,786 --> 01:27:08,832
Hold up.
I was raised by a single mother.
2029
01:27:08,962 --> 01:27:10,573
- And I'm the shit.
- Yes.
2030
01:27:10,703 --> 01:27:13,010
I don't know that I'm gonna be a good mom.
2031
01:27:13,140 --> 01:27:15,186
Hey, I do. I know you're gonna
be a good mom.
2032
01:27:15,317 --> 01:27:17,101
- Yes.
- No, you don't know that.
2033
01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:18,363
- I do.
- No, you don't.
2034
01:27:18,494 --> 01:27:20,191
Forget about all the therapy
2035
01:27:20,322 --> 01:27:21,497
that the kid is going to have to have
2036
01:27:21,627 --> 01:27:24,326
after he finds out how I got pregnant.
2037
01:27:24,456 --> 01:27:26,545
I mean Goeff and I,
we always saw it's a good day
2038
01:27:26,676 --> 01:27:29,722
if we only added 15 minutes
to our kids' therapy.
2039
01:27:29,853 --> 01:27:31,724
Yeah, but you guys have each other.
2040
01:27:31,855 --> 01:27:35,380
I've just got myself.
And I'm no picnic, guys.
2041
01:27:35,511 --> 01:27:38,383
You know that.
I mean, what if I ruin this kid?
2042
01:27:38,514 --> 01:27:40,429
I won't let you.
You need to tap out.
2043
01:27:40,559 --> 01:27:41,560
I'm there, boom.
2044
01:27:41,691 --> 01:27:42,866
Yeah, me too.
2045
01:27:42,996 --> 01:27:44,215
If you need to tap out,
2046
01:27:44,520 --> 01:27:47,349
I'm totally gonna pay
for a babysitter for you.
2047
01:27:49,742 --> 01:27:52,049
Y'all like the straight white
sisters I never had.
2048
01:27:52,179 --> 01:27:53,572
Are you serious?
2049
01:27:55,618 --> 01:27:56,923
I love you guys so much.
2050
01:27:57,054 --> 01:27:58,664
I love you.
2051
01:27:58,795 --> 01:28:01,798
Ladies, this zone is for
loading and unloading only.
2052
01:28:01,928 --> 01:28:03,060
- Okay, just a minute.
- I'm gonna need you to
2053
01:28:03,452 --> 01:28:05,105
move your car or I'll have
to impound your vehicle.
2054
01:28:09,545 --> 01:28:11,068
- Okay.
- Okay.
2055
01:28:11,198 --> 01:28:12,678
Take me home
2056
01:28:12,809 --> 01:28:14,724
so I can give the birthday boy
the ride of his life.
2057
01:28:14,854 --> 01:28:16,943
Because he has definitely earned it.
2058
01:28:17,074 --> 01:28:18,336
- Yes.
- And I'm gonna go sit on
2059
01:28:18,467 --> 01:28:19,294
his sister's face because I've earned it.
2060
01:28:23,515 --> 01:28:24,777
- I love you guys.
- I love you.
2061
01:28:24,908 --> 01:28:26,388
Thank you.
2062
01:28:26,518 --> 01:28:28,738
I mean and who knows
this is even gonna work, right?
2063
01:28:28,868 --> 01:28:30,827
- What are the odds?
- I mean...
2064
01:28:31,131 --> 01:28:32,437
It's just gonna be a little cold.
2065
01:28:32,568 --> 01:28:33,830
There you go.
2066
01:28:37,921 --> 01:28:39,923
- There's the heartbeat.
- Oh my god.
2067
01:28:41,446 --> 01:28:43,143
Do you mind just
holding still? Thank you.
2068
01:28:44,667 --> 01:28:45,711
Oh, hold on.
2069
01:28:47,017 --> 01:28:49,324
I think I see another.
2070
01:28:49,454 --> 01:28:50,542
What?
2071
01:28:50,673 --> 01:28:53,371
Okay, one.
2072
01:28:53,502 --> 01:28:56,374
There's two.
2073
01:28:56,505 --> 01:28:58,768
And yap, that's three.
2074
01:28:58,898 --> 01:29:01,292
Congratulations, you're having triplets.
2075
01:29:01,423 --> 01:29:02,641
What?
2076
01:29:04,730 --> 01:29:07,167
Yay, three babies.
2077
01:29:07,298 --> 01:29:09,953
Damn, you really are a sperm burglar.
2078
01:30:23,069 --> 01:30:25,463
Shirtless chef today, we're
risking it to win a biscuit.
2079
01:30:25,594 --> 01:30:28,118
We're making a pinapple chicken
breast brine.
2080
01:30:28,248 --> 01:30:29,902
Let's see how it turns out,
we've never done this before.
2081
01:30:30,033 --> 01:30:31,077
Boom!
2082
01:30:31,251 --> 01:30:33,428
One pound organic chicken breast,
2083
01:30:33,558 --> 01:30:35,212
one cup pineapple juice,
2084
01:30:35,342 --> 01:30:38,476
table spoon of salt and mix it.
2085
01:30:38,607 --> 01:30:40,522
Mix garlic,
2086
01:30:40,652 --> 01:30:42,349
table spoon smoked peprica.
2087
01:30:42,480 --> 01:30:44,047
Brine for two hours.
2088
01:30:45,657 --> 01:30:48,443
Stir both sides with a little avocado oil.
2089
01:30:48,573 --> 01:30:50,662
Bake at 450 for 20 to 25 minutes.
2090
01:30:50,793 --> 01:30:52,316
Work out while you wait.
2091
01:30:52,447 --> 01:30:54,449
Boom! Boom!
2092
01:30:56,015 --> 01:30:58,409
Delicious.
We just invented a new recipe.
2093
01:30:58,540 --> 01:31:00,542
Boom! That's shirtless kitchen
baby.
2094
01:33:12,151 --> 01:33:13,239
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