Original subtitles

Scorms passed, Yardley. There's nothing to worry about. And the new lightning conductor appears to work perfectly.

What's that then, bigger?

The lead, bigger. It's been moved.

It... maybe just ground settlement.

It's the boniface. It is gone.

Two Russians to take care of one English one.

What a shame after dying.

Damn it, we're all the walkers now.

I hope you're watching. I hope you're late.

I hope you're late.

I hope you're late.

I hope you're late.

You should have climbed down for a ride, instead of off. But I'll let you open your head counter here. We'll give you one last opportunity to tell me about your mission.

Why not take any help? I came for the invasion plans.

Any particular invasion for a ride?

Shall we say, uh, home?

You think you can deceive General von Kessner? I laugh in your face, for all I fuck.

You do not have the invasion plans for Holland.

Are you certain of that, Tege Nila?

No, I will take care of myself.

Is this what they tell you to do when you are threatened?

From line four.

Girl, you're served to your death. Of course.

It's in the manual.

Go, Sam!

I'm the guy!

You're the blur of the thing! I was coming! Damn it!

My entire booty from the whole expedition amounts to this absurd mechanism for lighting cigars.

Damn, Denny Holland.

You should give him a get away with this.

Beautifully steered, part two. I knew I could rely on you.

More than welcoming. Part two. Tea, please.

Oh, yes, but, too.

You only order tea when there's something wrong, please.

Well, there is something wrong, actually.

While you've been playing ducks and drapes with the Prussians, we've had some bad news from home.

Well, what?

It's about my father.

Boniface?

Hmm.

It seems his body is vanished from the church crypt.

England.

It's like flying over a history book.

Well, we're going home, Jules. I have to dress the part.

I can't, he expects and all that.

They don't know about you being in secret service.

Good lord, then. They just think I have a lot of very infirm relatives all over the continent.

Don't they know that Sir Boniface was a spy?

Of course not.

And he wasn't just a spy.

He was the man who made the British Secret Service what it is today.

He was determined to ensure that the nations of Europe never went to war again.

Oh, you and Phileus must be very proud.

Have you seen the rules on the plea cottages for Becker?

They will all need re-satching before next winter.

You'd better get my Kyra onto it. It's right away.

Jules was just saying how proud you and I must be of Boniface.

Was he indeed?

Well, you of course always a hero worshiped him, Rebecca.

How could I not? He was a hero.

I know he had to do some harsh things, but he always did them for the best reasons.

We did them for his own reasons.

Whether they were the best is a matter of judgement.

I don't understand.

Ah, well.

Running a secret service organization involves treating human beings like porn.

It's on a chessboard, Vern. My father possessed a consummate skill in the game, and we paid the price.

What price?

Save yourself, Phileus!

Sir Boniface sent Phileus and his brother, Erasmus, out on a terribly risky mission.

Well, he's a... it wasn't a risky mission, Rebecca.

It was his suicidal one.

Their stakes were incredibly hard.

As Erasmus discovered.

Erasmus never came back.

Well, unfortunately, Phileus, this valley has always been a magnet for summer storms.

Ah, Botkin.

I'm so sorry about this terrible event, Mr. Phog.

It must be enormously distressing for you to know that some Boniface's monument has been desecrated in this way.

My father was his own monument, Botkin. His reputation speaks for itself.

Yes, Bertrand. Botkin, disappear from our ancient church. I feel responsible.

Nonsense, Botkin. There's the rational explanation for all of this.

And as soon as we set our minds to it, we'll find it.

I'm so glad to hear you say that, Mr. Phog, because some of the simpler, local people began to talk about the supernatural.

We're going to get to the church before the storm sets in.

Ta-da!

I inventing many, many lots of machines to improve my master's life.

Perhaps you could concentrate on those that improve the outside of the house.

Just one then.

A fountain?

Well, this is a very isolated valley.

It escaped the attentions of both Henry VIII and Oliver Cromwell.

And thanks to that, I think it happily retained his pre-reformation grandeur.

Oh, oh, what is this?

Ah, nah.

Those are the bones of Saint Bartholomew, brought back from Syria by Sir Hugh Muskley and the Crusader.

The most distinguished medieval knight and founder of this church.

And that legend has it as the axe, with which he Hugh locked off seven serous and heads in one day.

Religious discussions could become quite heated in those days, you know.

It's not religious discussions that concern me, Vigga. It's my father's body.

Hurry up, man.

One.

Who could have done this, Phyllis?

It seems so pointless.

Father Medell with other people's business all over the world.

Who knows what ancient hatreds he stirred up?

He didn't, Medell, Phyllis.

He fought to protect the British Empire.

To keep the peace.

Do you remember when he had the temple of the thug he pulled down?

Just outside Calcutta?

Yes, it was dedicated to the goddess of destruction.

All the priests were ritual killers.

Just the sort of people who might well trek halfway across the world to wreak their revenge.

There'd been no strangers in the neighbourhood, Mr. Vogav inquired.

We even the gypsies haven't turned up this year.

What are you doing, Jill?

Just taking a disemple.

In case there was a clue.

Most thoughtful of her, what we have to do is find the body.

Now I suggest we...

...

...bond.

Saint Bartholomew's bones.

They flew up in the air like birds.

Only one thing could have done here.

The Devil himself.

Oh, that's better.

Thank you, Mr. Vogav.

There are a few events that don't seem more manageable once we've had a cup of tea.

Would you like the fire for us, MacCarmen?

Certainly, yes.

What do you think, Vicker?

What could have caused a pile of thousand year old bones to leap into the air like that?

Well, it was obviously something to do with the storm.

The air was full of electricity.

Or a single bolt of lightning can contain up to a million bolts.

You conductors should have channeled all that power safely away.

In any way, lightning can't explain all the unnatural goings on around shilling with Magna.

What goings on?

Oh, Mr. Vog, you know as well as I do that local people have been reporting strange sightings

and eerie lights in this valley for a thousand years.

And it's always just been the local storms, Vicker.

Well, I'd like to think so, Vogav.

There was not a drop left, Mr. Vog.

Nobody has come near, Mr. Cedric.

Pass for two. This is your doing, isn't it?

Yes, Master.

It is called...

Silence.

Silence.

Is my invention.

Pass for two, you are an idiot.

MacGyver, remove this thing immediately.

Very good, Dad.

Pass for two.

Take this in the workshop.

You need to do a bell on your test, darling.

I will test it within a four of its life.

It's technology at work, Vogav.

Not the supernatural.

I think we can dismiss that from our investigations.

I hope Dr. Sanderson will agree.

Dr. Sanderson, is he?

The bishop is sending him.

When, naturally, I reported all this thing going on, his lordship felt...

an expert was needed.

An expert?

Kind of an expert.

An exorcist?

What?

An exorcist.

The bishop said...

God's saying, God, Ken, will you get a grip on yourself?

My father's disappearance has nothing to do with evil spirits.

People are frightened, Mr. Fogg.

This happened at the church.

We must investigate whether there is any link to the next world.

It's not the link to the next MacGyver.

Perhaps, rulers and some pencils.

We're going to divide the countryside into squares and search every inch of it systematically.

We should check the standing stern.

Stand next, son.

Iron Age burial site.

One of Sibonifus' favourites, but...

You're not implying that he, er...

tuddled off there for a final visit, are you?

Do you want to ask me to be quiet here?

These are the grounds of masculine castle.

Why? Shouldn't we be here?

No.

It's just that one of Sohir's descendants, Miss Partridge, is the most annoying woman in England.

Rebecca, my dear!

How wonderful to see you!

You're just in time to help us organise the humble!

Ah, we'll just...

And you're a bit delighted to know I've nominated you as this year's President of the Fund for Bibles for the Kingdom.

Oh, my dear.

It's so important to discourage them from meeting each other, you know.

My dad, my name is Jules Byrne.

I've been longing to meet you.

Miss Fogg is otherwise an urgent appointment, but I wanted to ask you about your distinguished ancestor.

It's through you.

Why did you love this place, Fogg?

And what did you care about some long-dead Celtic chieftain?

Excuse me, sir.

Uh, can you tell me the way to the Reverend Eric Bodkin's house in Schillingworth Magna?

Yes, I can.

And you are?

Oh, uh, Sanderson.

Dr. Tharias Sanderson.

I, uh, have to exercise the church there. Terrible going zon, you know.

So they say Sanderson, so they say.

Oh, very tiny.

What do you hear?

Well, I've always associated exorcism with the Middle Ages, Sanderson.

Don't you find it hard to take seriously as an educated man?

I noticed a modern vote to discount the workings of the evil one, Mr. Fogg.

I've seen so much of the devils in wickedness, not to believe in him.

And I've seen too much of man's wickedness to need to believe in him.

Well, hello, Rebecca.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Any luck?

No, just the gypsies they are back after all.

My dear young lady, please, permit me to offer you a ride.

My name is Sanderson.

I'm just on the way to the Reverend Bodkin's residence, in Shillingworth Magna.

Oh, you're quite safe with Dr. Sanderson, Rebecca.

He's an exorcist.

Walk on.

Lady Tedcaster, wife of the master of the badly hunt, absolutely refuses to wear hunting.

Inks, which is not becoming so untraditional.

I do think tradition's important, don't you?

And thus, after his vision of the angel, did Sir Hugh carry the casket of St. Bartholomew back to the Crac de Chévelier and show to the king?

He's full of wonder.

Angel.

What angel?

What happened to Casket?

What happened to the desert?

What happened to the desert?

What exactly did Sir Hugh claim?

We said an angel descended from an high into the desert.

And when he went to investigate, he found the casket of St. Bartholomew.

What happened to that casket?

It's all that disappeared long ago.

The bones were placed in the shrine.

You know, Rebecca, I think it's time we take another look at those bones.

I must be frank with you, Samuson.

I don't believe there is any need for exorcism here.

My father's body was stolen by a person or persons unknown.

There's nothing diabolical about it.

The devil works in mysterious ways.

Vogue is his wonders to perform.

Who knows what he use.

The followers are the evil one may have for your father's remains.

Oh, I do apologize, Miss Vogue.

I forgot I was in the presence of a lady.

And that was one who was let her affine and sheltered life.

Oh, the local sewing circle holds her in awe.

Oh, dude, help Dr. Sanderson about your adventures in the city.

What about your adventures in tapestry, Rebecca?

Well, I go and find vodka in for you.

So, uh, what exactly does an exorcism consist of, Dr. Sanderson?

Oh, I am sure you want an over-detailed.

What about your adventures in tapestry?

What about your adventures in tapestry?

What about your adventures in tapestry?

What about your adventures in tapestry?

Perhaps that is the pelvis.

Uh, actually, it looks more like part of the skull.

Um, yes.

But my dear Mr. Bern, that would only work if saying both of them you had had appointed head.

What about your adventures in tapestry?

Oh, okay.

A car would now allow you to get up and wait.

Well, perhaps it'll suffice, but it'll be your future this day.

Really?

Hey, what was the first one of those things that happened?

Aress, sir, Rui, Grace.

Watch me.

There you can do it.

I'm the only woman you want to see.

No, no, I need your 747.

Look.

Look the banjo test.

And after the holy water is sprinkled on the altar, the Lord's prayer is said three times.

And that's all that is to it.

The exorcism is then over.

And do the evil spirits always succumb to your rituals, Dr. Sanderson?

Always, Miss Fogg.

So, there are times when I suffer enormous spiritual turmoil before the force of darkness

was vanquished.

What can happen about me?

Tell me about your life here in this delightful battle.

Well, there's not much to tell, really.

I read.

I so, I do good works.

Will I try to?

If you don't mind my saying so, it seems a waste of extraordinary talents.

What makes you think that I have extraordinary talents, Dr. Sanderson?

I intuited.

It is my profession to intuit things.

Or for example, those beautiful clothes you're wearing weren't made by any common dressmaker,

were they?

No.

I designed them myself.

They have wonderful taste.

And if I may say so, those colors complement your complexion, it's splendidly.

Thank you.

What a magnificent ring.

Can you tell me to make jewelry as well?

No, it's Turkish.

From Istanbul.

Ah, yes, the delights of the bazaar.

You've been to Turkey.

Ah.

Ah.

Mm-hmm.

The tools of the trade.

No, I'm sure Bochen would be fascinated.

We'll show you where the man was.

Oh, well never mind.

I'll go to his house and wait on the card.

Perhaps I could bottle a rock.

Oh, there's no need for that.

Dr. Sanderson, you must stay with us.

Listen to the feelings.

It was only that they did not look human, but it scarcely even looks like an animal.

Or an angel.

Barbara, do you've caught this thing, an angel?

Well, because he saw it come out of the sky and in a blaze of fire.

This was in the middle of the 12th century.

What else was he going to think?

We're in the middle of the 19th century.

What are we supposed to think?

That man is not the only intelligent life in the universe.

I'm trying to tell me, Fern, that these might be the bones of a being from another star?

Well, why not, Vicker?

Didn't your own William Shakespeare write?

There are more things in heaven and earth ratio than are dreamtive in your philosophy.

Who was there?

All the time.

I could hear the girl's declare.

He must be.

And millionaire.

Because he is the one who found this master daddy's.

I'm not going to be the one who found this master daddy.

I'm not going to be the one who found this master daddy.

Rose, are you there?

I'm not going to be the one who found this master daddy.

Is that you?

Who's there?

She had a Rebecca.

Yes.

I think it came from the church.

Passport to let's get you up.

Come on.

What happened?

She's gone, Master.

She's gone.

And then she jumped on me.

What did you?

The bones.

The bones.

They've gone.

What's gone?

I'll tell you when we get past the two back to the house.

Come on, Passport to.

Oh, steady, steady.

This will steady right lad.

Tati's super that dropper whiskey in it.

Traditional.

That's a new fangled about it.

But still good.

So, Jules.

What is your explanation?

I believe Passport to was attacked by a star man.

A bigger button?

Star Wars.

Star Wars.

What are you blithering about?

During the first crusade, Sir Hugh saw a fiery object

descending from the sky, which he thought was an angel.

He brought back a strange gasket and a set of bones

as the relics of St. Bartholomew.

But I believe what he found was a being from another solar system.

This is beyond belief.

Even if that's true, Jules, we're talking about something

that's been dead for nearly a thousand years.

How could it possibly have attacked Paul Passport too?

The new lightning conductor triggered it,

sending thousands of volts of electricity directly past the bones.

The being was in suspended animation.

And I must have put the bones in the correct sequence for complete regeneration.

What has all this got to do with the disappearance of my father's body?

But I have found your father's body, Master.

What?

Yes.

Here it is.

What?

I have comprehended the dustiness on your father's tomb, Master.

It is bone dustiness. Human bone.

You must have been started by the same storm that Jules did the star man

out of suspended animation.

You're talking gibberish, Ver.

Your father's body was in stolen.

It was vaporized.

I'm sorry, my friend.

That's almost left of him.

Hmm.

Huh.

Dust.

To dust.

It's hard to feel angry with him anymore, doesn't it, Phil?

Let me in, let me in!

Mr. Holmes, sir, I found it.

You found what?

Your father's body, sir.

Out by the stand in stone, hidden in the bushes with his boots on.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

What I don't understand is if the Boniface's body is out by the standing stone,

who's in the test tube?

That's when I'm going to figure out.

Come on, my boy.

I just heard the news, Miss Vogue.

Please accept my sympathies.

Such disturbing developments.

If there is anything I can do, just ask me.

That's, er, very kind of you, Dr. Sanderson, but I'm going out to the standing stone now to have a look at this body.

You'll ever hit the lungs, too.

I must confess I myself am quite upset by it all.

But you don't mind if I can't my nose with the cigar, do you?

No, of course not.

One of the servants said he had a rather ingenious device for lighting them.

Could I?

Yes.

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry. I think I left it in the church last night.

Oh, I think nothing of it out. I'll fetch it for you.

I'll come with you.

Sanderson.

I encourage you will be waiting for your station. We all look forward to your visit.

Yours in Christ, Eric. Podkim.

Here it is.

Give it to me.

I'll thank your pardon.

I mean, would you be kind enough to, erm...

Oh, there's no mistake. That was him and bone dust in your father's tomb.

So whose body was the standing stone?

Sanderson? No, it's impossible. I just saw him get out of the church with Rebecca.

So, I told fun Kestler the truth.

I had the plans for the invasion of Holland all alone.

And you think you'll live to read them?

Why not?

Because I am not alone.

A gypsy's.

Gypsy's.

Good day, Miss Vogue.

You think you can defy General Villain-Bomke Kestler and get away with it?

You have flushed her out.

Kreuzma, well done.

Now, he will kill her.

Actually, now!

Shoot!

Quick, quick!

Fund, see you to the best we've done.

Get these.

Yeah.

You alright?

Yes, I'm fine.

Okay, back it.

Well, what was it, Boniface?

No, no.

The explanation.

What happens to my father?

I somewhere in this church. This one.

This is the side door secured.

Yes.

Cockettive man.

Oh, we don't want to get in, my friend.

We need to make sure Sainte never get out.

Well, you can blow up the church, Kreuzma.

Bit them in it.

This is something I always wanted to do.

Since I was a boy.

Yeah, huh?

So, how does your ex-racist business all this?

I mean, who the hell is he?

He must be the Prussian mobile.

We've been after him for years.

Boncaster was going to send these to his agents in Holland to prepare for the invasion.

Now they might have to rethink the whole thing.

We may even be able to stop the war.

Unless Boncaster gets the plans back.

Well, how?

This place is built and was down to siege.

What would you do in the general's position, Ben?

Blow us the smiler reins.

Okay, look, that's it. That's it. You need more.

Our problem isn't how to prevent them coming in.

It's how to get out.

Oh.

You know, it's times like this. I wish I had a gun.

What if he's not hostile?

I mean, not hostile.

Um...

You two stand back.

I'll talk, then.

Oh, attack it together.

Wait, wait, wait!

He wasn't attacking us at all.

What the devil?

It's a key. Look, Stoneman's casket.

Don't tell me that.

Of course.

It's a starship. He's going home.

I'm going home.

You've got to get out of here.

That thing launches itself. We'll be pulverized.

Which is precisely what the book gets for Clansbridge anyway.

It's better for the candy.

The pretender chances are going to sneak around the church.

Oh, no!

Go!

No!

Oh, my!

Oh, my!

Shoot, Sam! Are you going to ride?

Shoot! Shoot, Sam! Shoot!

The game's up on Kessler.

Tell your men to throw down their weapons.

Do as he says.

Come in.

Go, Sam.

Very nice, please.

Well, the roles seem to be a little reversed again here, Genehaal.

But, uh, I do have a little consolation present for you.

Thank you for allowing me.

So, how long was saved from Prussian invasion this time around?

In a treasure trove of alien knowledge had fallen into my hands.

If only I could figure out how to decipher it.

Although Philius' opinion of his father had not improved with the disappearance of his remains,

he did however agree to the marking of his name in a rather unusual way.