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1
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:11,540
Oh, Tina, look at you, girl.
2
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,513
Yes, and look at you.
3
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,000
- Oh, oh-oh, look at my husband.
- Oh...
4
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:18,550
Looking like a chocolate snack.
5
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:19,840
Ooh. (CHUCKLES)
6
00:00:19,890 --> 00:00:21,480
You better know it.
7
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,970
What kind of snack am I?
8
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,060
Ooh, uh, you are looking like a...
9
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:36,570
smoked gouda on a Triscuit.
10
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,780
Ooh!
11
00:00:38,940 --> 00:00:40,360
- You better know it.
- Yeah.
12
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,560
- Mm.
- Oh, Dave,
13
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,044
that's what you're
wearing to the concert?
14
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,530
(LAUGHS)
15
00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,580
Boy, white people get to wear anything.
16
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,100
Well, at least his toes
aren't out this time.
17
00:00:53,150 --> 00:00:55,000
Looking all long and weird.
18
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,090
- Hey-hey.
- TINA: Oh!
19
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,090
There's our beautiful mother-to-be.
20
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:03,270
Sorry we're late. I was
gonna wear something else,
21
00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:05,340
but I grew out of it as
I was putting it on.
22
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,560
Ooh, yes.
23
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,100
Dave, you're not getting dressed?
24
00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:10,850
Damn it! I am dressed.
25
00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:14,760
Calvin, thank you so much
for getting us these tickets.
26
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,770
We are huge Toni Braxton fans.
27
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:17,900
Ah, you're welcome.
28
00:01:17,950 --> 00:01:19,400
And just so you all know,
29
00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:23,990
this counts as everybody's
birthday and Christmas gift.
30
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,730
(CHUCKLES)
31
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:26,910
Excuse me?
32
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,370
- Uh, not you, babe. No...
- Oh.
33
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,170
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
34
00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:35,080
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
35
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:41,880
Calvin, thank you so much
for getting Grover a ticket.
36
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,540
You know, we played Toni
Braxton for him in utero.
37
00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:46,898
It is so perfect that this is
gonna be his first concert.
38
00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:48,890
He is so excited.
39
00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:56,340
Well, damn, he doesn't look excited.
40
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,020
He looks like he's ready for bed.
41
00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,870
Grover, come on. You're gonna love it.
42
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,500
This is the music you grew up on.
43
00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:05,840
I like her music.
44
00:02:05,890 --> 00:02:07,850
I just don't want to go
to my first concert
45
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,780
with a-a-a bunch of old people.
46
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:11,990
Who's he calling old?
47
00:02:12,010 --> 00:02:13,076
- Who the hell... ?
- Okay, babe, babe, babe, babe.
48
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:16,160
Hey... you know what? No, I'll
give him a reason to go to bed.
49
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:20,460
Now, Grover, go home and
put on a real pair of pants.
50
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,820
- Now.
- Oh...
51
00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:26,460
My Triscuit went from
gouda to pepper jack.
52
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,260
Now, are you sure you're
up to going out like this?
53
00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:32,590
Oh, yeah. I want to make the
most of the last few weeks
54
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:33,850
before Daphne arrives.
55
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:36,590
Yeah, and tonight is about fun.
56
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:39,460
No stressing about the massive,
life-changing event
57
00:02:39,470 --> 00:02:40,810
that's looming over us.
58
00:02:43,863 --> 00:02:45,330
I may miss a few songs, though.
59
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,870
This baby is breakdancing on my bladder.
60
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,680
Ooh, fear not. I have mapped out
61
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,630
- every bathroom in the arena.
- Oh.
62
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,990
Mm-hmm, and I packed a
baggy of that sliced ham
63
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,380
that you go crazy for.
64
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:00,800
Mmm, that's what I'm talking about.
65
00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:02,800
Yeah, come on. Give me some. All right.
66
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,220
He's got a pocket full of ham,
67
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:06,020
and I'm getting grief about khakis?
68
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,550
Marty, that is so nice to see.
69
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,340
I know you and Courtney
are just friends,
70
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,720
but you're such a good
pregnancy partner.
71
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:16,600
Just like I was. Chip off the old block.
72
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:21,550
Really? 'Cause that's not how
I remember the old block.
73
00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:26,610
- Okay. Okay. Are you comfortable?
- (GRUNTING)
74
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:28,820
- I'm supposed to make you comfortable.
- (GROANS)
75
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,620
Do I look comfortable to you?
76
00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,990
And stop touching my pillow!
77
00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:39,380
Mr. Butler, the baby's coming.
78
00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:41,240
- He's crowning. Look.
- (HUFFING)
79
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:44,600
Uh, you-you know what?
Uh, I'm good. I'm good.
80
00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:46,690
You, uh, you, you do that.
81
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,269
I-I mean, you're the one that went
to medical school and everything.
82
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:50,600
Calvin. Calvin, Calvin, Calvin!
83
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,140
- Get the camera ready!
- Okay.
84
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,640
- (GROANING)
- Okay. All right, um...
85
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:58,420
Okay. Uh, Doctor, um, you... you
think while you're down there,
86
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,115
you could, you could get
some footage for me?
87
00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:02,850
(TINA HUFFS FASTER)
88
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,590
I'm kind of busy right now.
89
00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:06,520
Nurse, forceps?
90
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,590
- (CRYING)
- All right. Okay.
91
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,740
- All right, I got it, baby. I got it.
- Ooh!
92
00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:11,940
- We gonna see it.
- Calvin!
93
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,220
- Calvin!
- We gonna see it. Here we go.
94
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,840
Oh, Lord, that's a lot of blood.
95
00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:19,370
Oh, God.
96
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,330
I'm going down.
97
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,599
(SCREAMS)
98
00:04:26,340 --> 00:04:28,349
He wound up with a concussion.
99
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:31,550
And me and Malcolm got out
of the hospital before he did.
100
00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,300
Look, I was ready to go.
101
00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,996
But you know, when
you got good insurance,
102
00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:38,640
they want to milk it.
103
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:40,460
As soon as I got out,
104
00:04:40,510 --> 00:04:42,520
I did all of the fatherly duties.
105
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,000
Fatherly duties?
106
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,690
Mama said you ain't
changed a single diaper.
107
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,990
I didn't change 'em, I bought 'em.
108
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,160
(PHONE CHIMES)
109
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,090
(EXCLAIMS) Guys, I have
an announcement to make.
110
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,410
As a thank you to Calvin
for getting us the tickets,
111
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:02,370
I have hired a driver to take
us to the show in luxury.
112
00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:04,290
Well, all right!
113
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,750
♪ ♪
114
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,990
Trey? You hired Trey?
115
00:05:13,045 --> 00:05:16,774
I am supporting a Black-owned business.
116
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,690
(MURMURED AGREEMENTS)
117
00:05:18,740 --> 00:05:21,060
Trey, where'd you get this
van? Is it even legal?
118
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:23,073
Of course it is. I got it
from the police auction.
119
00:05:23,074 --> 00:05:24,810
Oh, God.
120
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:27,370
This traffic is terrible.
121
00:05:27,426 --> 00:05:29,140
Not for us, baby.
122
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:30,870
Look what the police left in here.
123
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,690
(SIREN WAILING)
124
00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:36,910
Trey, I know that ain't legal.
125
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,170
People are getting out of our way.
126
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:44,570
Wait, so, uh, so, Pop, you really
passed out when I was born?
127
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:47,210
Calvin, come on. You have nothing
to be embarrassed about.
128
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:50,500
You know, sometimes we are just
not our best selves under pressure.
129
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,600
God, I remember when we were pregnant,
130
00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:56,200
we were exhausted.
131
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,400
"We"? What did you do?
132
00:05:58,457 --> 00:06:02,720
Oh, Dave was very, very involved.
133
00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:04,830
- Ooh... !
- Okay, uh...
134
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,330
What do you need? Ice chips? Water?
135
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:09,270
Let's just, let's just breathe.
Um, want me to sing?
136
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:10,900
No.
137
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,730
Twice was enough.
138
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,860
- (GROANING)
- Ooh.
139
00:06:15,910 --> 00:06:19,620
Honey, y-you look hot.
Uh, let's mop that brow. Uh...
140
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:20,830
Sponge!
141
00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:23,550
You don't get to say that.
142
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,670
Must you fight me on everything, Donna?
143
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:29,750
I understand it's go-time in here.
144
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,480
Ooh. Damn it, you know
what? I missed that.
145
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,946
Do you mind taking your entrance again
146
00:06:32,970 --> 00:06:35,670
and maybe saying something
like "It's showtime"?
147
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,606
Dave. Stop it.
148
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,580
Okay, honey, you look
tense. You know what?
149
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,480
Let me put on my special mix CD.
150
00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:44,270
Toni Braxton's "Let It Flow."
151
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,572
Am I right, Donna?
152
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,908
(SCREAMING)
153
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,390
You doing okay? You want an epidural?
154
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,320
- Last call.
- Yeah, yeah. Yes. Make it a double!
155
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:56,630
- (GROANING)
- Uh, Gemma.
156
00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:59,030
We agreed that we
would do this naturally.
157
00:06:59,050 --> 00:07:01,250
We changed our mind.
158
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,610
(GROANING)
159
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:05,670
I-I hate to use your words against you,
160
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,410
but you did say, "No matter what,
161
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,000
don't let me get an epidural."
162
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:11,740
(PANTS) You're right, you're right.
163
00:07:11,797 --> 00:07:14,710
I'm sorry. Come here, honey.
164
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,856
(GROWLING): Give me the drugs!
I want the drugs right now!
165
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,890
- Do you hear me?!
- Get her the drugs!
166
00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:21,890
Get her the drugs!
Donna, get her the drugs!
167
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,600
Check this out. You can still see
168
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,720
where Gemma dug her nails into my neck.
169
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,680
All the pain was worth it
170
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:32,020
because we got our healthy,
happy baby boy.
171
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,610
I hate my life.
172
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,470
Well, he's healthy.
173
00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:42,350
Uh, Trey, you can't go this way.
It says "Do not enter."
174
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,410
They just say that so you don't enter.
175
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,540
- (THUDS UNDERNEATH)
- (ALL EXCLAIM)
176
00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:49,620
Were those traffic cones?
177
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,290
I hope so.
178
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:54,830
VIP entrance?
179
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,351
Are you sure we're
supposed to park here?
180
00:07:56,352 --> 00:07:58,100
Look, I don't care as
long as we're close.
181
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:01,220
These shoes are cute, but they
were not made for walking.
182
00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,490
DAVE: Uh, excu-excuse me, Trey.
183
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:06,960
Trey, uh... if you get a parking ticket,
184
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:09,600
- that's on you, right?
- Oh, no, that's totally on you.
185
00:08:09,630 --> 00:08:11,870
- You should have read your contract.
- Well...
186
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,650
Well, there wasn't a contract.
187
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:16,570
Damn it.
188
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,900
My bad. Sign right here.
189
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,280
- Oh, my God.
- You don't have to sign that.
190
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:25,150
The name of your company
is Ride with Your Boy?
191
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,550
(CROWD CHEERING)
192
00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:31,560
♪ I pull up with the blick, blick ♪
193
00:08:31,610 --> 00:08:33,555
♪ I pull up, make your clique flip ♪
194
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,630
♪ I pull off in the whip ♪
195
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,370
- ♪ And I skert ♪
- Skert!
196
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:38,920
- (LAUGHS)
- ♪ Skert ♪
197
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,260
- ♪ Skert... ♪
- Skert!
198
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,530
Hey, man, Lil Side Baby's killing it.
199
00:08:42,580 --> 00:08:45,070
You know, I just googled Lil Side Baby.
200
00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:47,890
And it said he played Stevie
on Hannah Montana.
201
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:51,100
- What?
- What? No, that is him. He did.
202
00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,310
Yeah. He-he won a Kid's
Choice Award for that.
203
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:57,080
That must've been
before the face tattoos.
204
00:08:57,130 --> 00:08:59,040
LIL SIDE BABY: Thank you,
L.A. Good night.
205
00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,110
(ALL CHEERING)
206
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,530
- CALVIN: Lil Side Baby!
- Yeah!
207
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,450
Yes! Thank God.
208
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,120
- Let's get some Toni!
- Whoo!
209
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,570
- Sorry. Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
210
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:10,040
- Excuse me.
- CALVIN: Hey.
211
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:11,410
You guys get your merch?
212
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,770
Yes, we did. Toni Braxton T-shirts.
213
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,320
And Dave just had to get
a Lil Side Baby cozy.
214
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,960
- Oh, yeah. For my kombucha.
- (CHUCKLES)
215
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,340
Everybody loves a cold booch.
216
00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:21,110
Yeah.
217
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,240
ANNOUNCER: Who's ready for Toni Braxton?
218
00:09:24,296 --> 00:09:26,180
(WHOOPING, CHEERING)
219
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,140
(MUSIC PLAYING)
220
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,930
- Oh, my God!
- I know, it's exciting, right?
221
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,310
No.
222
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,640
My water just broke.
223
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,350
Oh, no, you can have mine. Take mine.
224
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:38,290
No, Marty.
225
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:40,230
My water just broke.
226
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,740
What now? Oh!
227
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,130
- Water broke! Water broke!
- What, what, what, what?
228
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:46,210
Baby, you think she can
hold it for one song?
229
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,240
I mean, these tickets
were kind of expensive.
230
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,330
Calvin!
231
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,842
I mean, you think she could hold it?
232
00:09:51,843 --> 00:09:54,160
- Mama!
- (STAMMERS) Okay, come on, come on.
233
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,430
Let's move, people.
Move! Out of the way.
234
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,050
♪ I pull up with the blick, blick ♪
235
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,590
♪ Skert, skert ♪
236
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,156
- Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey, Trey.
- ♪ Skert. ♪
237
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,140
Come on. We got to go.
We got to go, man.
238
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,970
Oh. That was quick. I'm still
charging y'all for four hours.
239
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,490
Come on. Courtney's water just broke.
240
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:17,150
Aw, hell no.
241
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,560
Because y'all family,
242
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,411
I'm gonna give you a discount
on the cleaning fee.
243
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,800
- (GRUNTING)
- Oh!
244
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:25,700
- Contraction...
- Okay, let's get her to a hospital.
245
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,250
Sorry. We blocked in.
See that van right in front of us?
246
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,330
- That's Toni's, and she busy for a while.
- Aw...
247
00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:33,120
Oh, Trey, I told you
we couldn't park here.
248
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:34,660
Guys, I'm trying to call the doctor.
249
00:10:34,690 --> 00:10:36,218
Does anybody have a signal down here?
250
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,880
- No.
- No.
251
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:39,990
I cannot believe this is happening.
252
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,920
You know what? It-It's going to be fine.
253
00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:45,960
I'm missing Toni Braxton.
I mean... can you hear that?
254
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:49,280
I'm pretty sure that's the bass
from "He Wasn't Man Enough."
255
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:51,830
That's my jam.
256
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:57,520
Okay. Okay, just calm down.
Okay? We have plenty of time.
257
00:10:57,574 --> 00:11:00,980
Yeah, yeah. Marty came early,
and it all went smoothly.
258
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:04,530
You and I have very different
definitions of "smoothly."
259
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:10,550
I cannot believe you are taking
me to the hospital in a lowrider.
260
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:13,410
Look, baby, I couldn't help it.
261
00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:15,424
All right, I'd just finished
customizing this car
262
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,927
and I was test-driving it
when you beeped me.
263
00:11:16,928 --> 00:11:18,960
(SHOUTING)
264
00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:21,000
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
265
00:11:21,056 --> 00:11:24,630
Uh, Tina, Tina, no shoes
on the shag, baby.
266
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,130
What? What?
267
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,970
Calvin, I am having a baby!
268
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,470
Okay, but can you hold it
till we get to the hospital?
269
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,220
What?
270
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,540
Ask me that one more time.
271
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,640
Ask me that one more time!
272
00:11:35,694 --> 00:11:37,640
(GROANING)
273
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,900
Man, this windshield's
all foggy. Hold on.
274
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:44,110
(BOTH SHOUTING)
275
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,550
- Okay.
- What is happening?
276
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,570
I'm sorry. I hit the switches.
277
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,126
- (CAR HORN HONKS)
- MAN: Yo, sweet ride.
278
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,670
(CHUCKLES) Hey, my man,
you like what you see,
279
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,230
bring your car to Calvin's Pit Stop.
280
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,430
Calvin! I'm having a baby.
281
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,980
- The baby's got to eat.
- Oh, my God! Oh!
282
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:05,370
Calvin! Calvin, Calvin,
I'm feeling a lot of pressure.
283
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,340
Something's happening.
Something's happening.
284
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,220
Can-can you look? Can you look?
285
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,710
Oh, look, it's a head.
286
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,890
Oh, God. I'm going down.
287
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:19,230
- (SHOUTING)
- (CAR HORNS HONKING)
288
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:23,190
Does anyone have a normal birth story?
289
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,720
- 'Cause I'm starting to freak out here.
- Okay.
290
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,030
It was no big deal, all right?
It was just your head.
291
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,900
The rest of you came
out at the hospital.
292
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,830
You know, this is taking forever.
293
00:12:34,860 --> 00:12:37,090
Okay, Dave and Gemma,
can you find security
294
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:38,430
so we could get these vans moved?
295
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:39,566
- Yeah, on it.
- Yeah, on it.
296
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:41,329
Okay, me and Malcolm
will go find an EMT.
297
00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:42,636
I'm sure they're all over the place.
298
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,380
Okay, right. I'll go get nachos.
299
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,660
No. Trey, you'll go find
the drivers for these vans
300
00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:49,893
so that we can get out of here.
301
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,300
Right, 'cause I bet they
up there by the nachos.
302
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,290
All right, guys,
we got a little bit of time,
303
00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:01,500
so let's just breathe and relax.
304
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:03,160
Everything's gonna be just fine.
305
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,440
Thank you, Mr. B.
306
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,610
- (SHOUTS)
- (SHOUTS)
307
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,110
All right.
308
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:10,030
(GROANS) Huge contraction.
309
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:12,140
It's okay. It's okay.
Just breathe through it.
310
00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:15,580
Hee-hee-hoo, hee-hee-hoo.
Hee-hee-hoo, hee-hee-hoo.
311
00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:18,839
I-I thought you said your
contractions were still far apart.
312
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,650
They were, but the
baby doesn't give a...
313
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,000
- (SHOUTS)
- (SHOUTS)
314
00:13:23,053 --> 00:13:24,530
(SCREAMING)
315
00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:26,750
The baby's coming!
The baby's coming right now!
316
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,550
- Help!
- Martin, come here.
317
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,990
What are you doing?
318
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,100
Come on, man. You got this.
319
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:33,380
You know what to do.
320
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,570
No. No, I don't.
321
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,565
All they teach you in the
class is "hee-hee-hoo."
322
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:40,653
COURTNEY: Okay, this baby wants out.
323
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,700
Son, listen to me.
324
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:47,100
You got to step up and face your fears,
325
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,900
or you'll regret it forever like I do.
326
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,190
You do?
327
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,740
Of course I do.
328
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:54,430
Your mother really needed me,
and I wasn't there for her.
329
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,500
I mean, I was, but I was
laid out on the floor
330
00:13:57,550 --> 00:14:00,480
or slumped against the car
window while she had to steer.
331
00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:03,000
But you can be better than me.
332
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,310
All right? You can do this.
333
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,990
I know you can.
334
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,420
Isn't someone going to
tell me I can do this?
335
00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:10,479
- Oh, yeah...
- Oh, yeah,
336
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:11,550
- nobody doubting you, Courtney.
- ... you can do this...
337
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,000
- Like, you know you got it.
- (SHOUTING)
338
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,311
(ALL SHOUTING)
339
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,260
Okay, we're gonna need some towels.
340
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:17,430
All right.
341
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:20,810
Uh, we got nothing but, uh, $300
worth of Toni Braxton T-shirts.
342
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,310
Okay. Oh, boy.
343
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,560
She is crowning.
344
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,810
CALVIN: Okay.
345
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,190
- Okay.
- I'm going down.
346
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,650
Whoa, whoa, whoa... Marty, come on.
347
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,570
Marty, stay with me, okay?
348
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:33,530
Breathe. Hee-hee-hoo.
349
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,320
Hee-hee-hoo.
350
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,050
Skert, skert. Yeah. Keep going, y'all.
351
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,660
Okay. All right, you are doing great.
352
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,922
- Let's push.
- CALVIN: Okay.
353
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:44,091
- All right, here. Take my hand.
- Okay, okay.
354
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,156
- Okay, just hold my hand.
- Okay, okay.
355
00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:46,320
Here we go.
356
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,330
(SHOUTS)
357
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:50,790
Ooh! That's my ring finger.
358
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,510
(COURTNEY SHOUTING)
359
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,050
I'm, like, starving.
360
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:58,090
Lil Side Baby ate up everything in
the greenroom. Who does that?
361
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:03,140
Oh, my God. Toni Braxton!
362
00:15:03,190 --> 00:15:07,690
(SCREAMING)
363
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,570
This is not my Sprinter.
364
00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:13,820
And is that woman having a baby?
365
00:15:13,870 --> 00:15:17,140
Okay, okay, okay. See,
what had happened was,
366
00:15:17,190 --> 00:15:19,030
is that our driver ran over some cones,
367
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,528
and we came in to the artists' entrance,
368
00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:22,170
my wife had on these designer shoes,
369
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:23,256
because she couldn't
really walk in them.
370
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,750
You know, you can't really walk in them.
371
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,110
Anyway, we said, "Whoa,
let's just go in this way."
372
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,640
And-and, yes, this
lady is having a baby.
373
00:15:30,690 --> 00:15:31,840
(SHOUTS)
374
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:34,750
Boris, can you... can you help
get these vans out of here?
375
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,630
MARTY: Oh, my God! (SHOUTS)
376
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,390
We have a head, people! We have a head!
377
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,550
You know what?
378
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,030
- Uh-uh. Let's do this.
- Okay.
379
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,010
All right, what's your name, Mama?
380
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,140
Toni Braxton!
381
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,490
No, no, Mama. Not my name. Your name.
382
00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:53,530
Her name is Courtney, and
we are huge fans, by the way.
383
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:56,730
- I mean, huge.
- I-I appreciate that.
384
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,740
Now, you got to push,
Courtney. All right?
385
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,320
- Daddy, you ready to receive?
- Yes, Toni Braxton.
386
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,700
On three. One, two, three. Push!
387
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,160
(SHOUTS)
388
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,680
Oh! I ain't gonna be able
to hold my grandbaby.
389
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,496
- Okay, guys, we found some help.
- (DAPHNE CRYING)
390
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,880
Oh... my God, it's a baby.
391
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,550
It is, Mommy.
392
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:22,410
- It is.
- She's beautiful.
393
00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:23,760
Let's wrap her up.
394
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,640
Oh, good, good. Yeah, here we go.
395
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,630
Oh, in one of my T-shirts.
396
00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:30,470
Okay, I love it.
397
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,120
My fans are getting younger and younger.
398
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,940
Oh, my little Daphne.
399
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,400
I take it you must be the grandma?
400
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,900
Yeah.
401
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,070
Oh, damn.
402
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,660
You're Toni Braxton.
403
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,420
Th-This is Toni Braxton.
404
00:16:47,450 --> 00:16:49,500
Hi, Toni Braxton.
405
00:16:49,551 --> 00:16:51,630
- Hi, Grandma.
- (LAUGHS)
406
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,830
Courtney, it's all over.
407
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,250
Now you can breathe again.
408
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:59,170
(LAUGHS) Breathe again.
I see what you did right there.
409
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,510
I can't believe Toni Braxton
delivered my baby.
410
00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:04,140
Um, hello?
411
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:07,370
You did a great job, Daddy.
412
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,820
Hey, congratulations, baby brother.
413
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:11,680
That's beautiful.
414
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,100
How you doing, Toni Braxton?
415
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,870
My name is Malcolm. I'm the uncle.
416
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,450
Division one baseball coach,
417
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:21,090
and, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
418
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,590
... single.
419
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,030
That's cute.
420
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,160
Anyway, it was nice
meeting all of you guys,
421
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,950
and congratulations.
422
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:33,930
Oh, my God.
423
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:37,500
You look fabulous, Toni.
She looks great.
424
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,840
Hey, Malcolm.
425
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,510
- Yeah.
- Proud of you, boy.
426
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,260
Thank you, Pop.
427
00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:44,640
You took your shot at Toni Braxton.
428
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,510
- And you missed.
- I missed.
429
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,390
- But-but you shot.
- Yeah.
430
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,870
Oh, my God.
431
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,450
She is so beautiful.
432
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,740
I could hold her forever.
433
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,570
You have been.
434
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,410
- Yeah, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
- TINA: Okay, okay.
435
00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:11,450
(GEMMA SPEAKING BABY TALK)
436
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,370
Look at that little baby.
437
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,000
MARTY: Uh, look, guys?
438
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:16,710
Guys, guys.
439
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,090
Full words, please.
440
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,920
We've made the choice
not to use baby talk.
441
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,380
To talk to a baby?
442
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:28,260
Well, studies show that it can
delay a child's language skills.
443
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,820
(SCOFFS) Yeah, y'all
gonna be fun parents.
444
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,530
So, the doctor says that you
can go home tomorrow.
445
00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:37,390
- Are you ready?
- I'm so ready.
446
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,690
Mmm.
447
00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:40,100
- Oh, crap.
- What?
448
00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:41,270
The crib isn't built.
449
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,360
- Wait, it's not?
- No, my dad wanted to do it,
450
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,410
but my parents can't get
here till Wednesday.
451
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:46,990
I guess I can just use the bassinet.
452
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,180
Oh, no, no, no. It's not
about the bassinet.
453
00:18:49,230 --> 00:18:50,560
You can't be with the baby alone.
454
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:51,838
Marty, you got to go with her.
455
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,290
In my tiny studio?
Where would he even sleep?
456
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,290
It's not a problem.
You can stay at our place.
457
00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:59,130
We can get the crib from Mom's
house and put it in the spare room.
458
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,290
Spare room?
459
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,930
You mean my exercise room?
460
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,550
Where's all my gym equipment gonna go?
461
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,250
Malcolm.
462
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:08,090
Malcolm, look, the plan was
always to turn the spare room
463
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,439
into Daphne's room at some point.
464
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,010
I ain't never heard this plan.
465
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:13,970
I see now the plan was flawed.
466
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,970
Well, look, man, what do
you expect me to do?
467
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,270
You know, I have half a baby.
468
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,890
I hate to sound ungrateful,
469
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:23,820
but is the spare room even big
enough for a crib and a bed?
470
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,690
You can sleep in Marty's room.
471
00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:27,083
We are not a couple, man.
472
00:19:27,084 --> 00:19:29,120
- Oh, please.
- Okay, okay.
473
00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:31,560
Look, Courtney can go in Malcolm's room,
474
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,700
Malcolm can come stay with us.
475
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,890
Where? In my shoe room?
476
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,790
Look, it's just until
Courtney's parents get here.
477
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,176
Yeah, but then they're going to leave,
478
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,750
and you'll be two people in two houses
479
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:44,670
with one baby and no clue.
480
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,760
So, y'all rocket scientists.
481
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:49,300
Have you been huffing the fumes?
482
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:53,010
Daddy, I thought we
had three more weeks.
483
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,670
- (DAPHNE CRYING)
- Aw...
484
00:19:54,690 --> 00:19:57,310
Y'all made my baby cry.
485
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,530
Come on. Give her to me.
486
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:00,830
Okay. Here.
487
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,610
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Look at her.
488
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:05,990
Aw...
489
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,770
Look at her.
490
00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:10,000
- How are you doing?
- (DAPHNE QUIETS)
491
00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:11,690
Yes.
492
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,830
Still got it.
493
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,890
Okay, you have got to
teach me that, Dad.
494
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,720
Well, don't worry.
495
00:20:22,770 --> 00:20:24,990
No one's ever really ready.
496
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:26,870
We'll all figure this out.
497
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:28,340
It takes a village.
498
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,130
Hmm.
499
00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:31,940
Hey, guys, I-I'm so sorry.
500
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,910
Have we discussed godparents yet?
501
00:20:34,866 --> 00:20:38,160
I mean, no-no pressure, but,
you know, I did miss the concert
502
00:20:38,210 --> 00:20:39,870
and paid for the van
that she was born in,
503
00:20:39,910 --> 00:20:42,980
not to mention the very
expensive concert T-shirts,
504
00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:44,980
which, by the way, are a total loss.
505
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:46,650
But, um...
506
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:49,460
You hear that voice?
That annoying voice?
507
00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:51,290
That's your Uncle Dave.
508
00:20:51,340 --> 00:20:52,790
Get used to it.
509
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,160
It never stops.
510
00:20:56,250 --> 00:21:01,250
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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