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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,852 --> 00:00:04,952 ♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪ 2 00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:07,872 ♪ my back is gettin' tight 3 00:00:07,939 --> 00:00:09,724 ♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪ 4 00:00:09,791 --> 00:00:13,077 ♪ on the queensborough bridge tonight ♪ 5 00:00:13,145 --> 00:00:16,481 ♪ but I don't care, 'cause all I want to do ♪ 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,886 ♪ is cash my check and drive right home to you ♪ 7 00:00:23,789 --> 00:00:25,790 ♪ 'cause, baby, all my life 8 00:00:25,858 --> 00:00:28,510 ♪ I will be drivin' home to you ♪ 9 00:00:34,299 --> 00:00:36,635 Hon, there's a charge on our credit card bill 10 00:00:36,702 --> 00:00:41,139 for $88.50 for n.M.G. What is that? "N.M.G."? 11 00:00:42,173 --> 00:00:45,743 Maybe, uh, "nut Meg groceries"? 12 00:00:47,579 --> 00:00:50,148 Ok, first of all, nutmeg is one word, 13 00:00:51,183 --> 00:00:53,017 and, even more importantly, 14 00:00:53,085 --> 00:00:56,454 what the hell is "nut Meg groceries"? 15 00:00:56,522 --> 00:01:00,258 Ok. Y-y-you know, y-you don't promote teamwork when you trash my input. 16 00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:02,259 I'm calling the credit card company. 17 00:01:02,327 --> 00:01:04,261 What is taking so long with those sandwiches? 18 00:01:04,329 --> 00:01:05,763 Excuse me. I'm an artist. 19 00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:07,916 Let me paint my picture, 20 00:01:07,983 --> 00:01:09,100 with bacon. 21 00:01:10,652 --> 00:01:12,520 For a question about your bill, press one. 22 00:01:12,588 --> 00:01:14,389 No, no, no, no. Don't press any buttons. 23 00:01:14,456 --> 00:01:15,473 What? 24 00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,191 You make believe you have a dial phone. 25 00:01:17,259 --> 00:01:19,544 It gets you right through to the operator. 26 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,279 Really? Yeah. 27 00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:24,132 It's the telephone equivalent of the handicapped parking sticker. 28 00:01:25,717 --> 00:01:27,585 God love you, you got savvy. 29 00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:29,454 Yeah. You know what else I got? 30 00:01:29,521 --> 00:01:30,521 Lunchy. 31 00:01:30,589 --> 00:01:32,123 Hallelujah. 32 00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,443 Lunch! 33 00:01:36,712 --> 00:01:37,979 Ohh, great. 34 00:01:38,046 --> 00:01:39,614 Your little plan backfired. 35 00:01:39,681 --> 00:01:42,266 Now I'm in voice-prompt hell. 36 00:01:44,903 --> 00:01:46,937 2. 37 00:01:47,005 --> 00:01:48,923 Come on out! Lunch! 38 00:01:50,308 --> 00:01:51,943 Hiya, kids! Hey. 39 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:56,313 Uncle stu, how you doin'? 40 00:01:56,381 --> 00:01:58,649 In honor of your visit, I made one of my specialties. 41 00:01:58,717 --> 00:02:00,018 I hope you like b.L.T.'S. 42 00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:02,220 Ooh, I couldn't love 'em more. 43 00:02:02,287 --> 00:02:03,587 [Chuckling] 44 00:02:03,989 --> 00:02:05,056 One. 45 00:02:07,359 --> 00:02:08,626 English. 46 00:02:10,162 --> 00:02:11,896 What's that all about? 47 00:02:11,964 --> 00:02:14,732 I don't know. That's how she talks on the phone. 48 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,501 You know, it was really nice for Arthur to let me stay 49 00:02:17,569 --> 00:02:19,070 in his room while he was away. 50 00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,638 You all right down there? 51 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,940 Are you kiddin' me? It's like stayin' in a hotel. 52 00:02:23,008 --> 00:02:23,991 [Laughing] 53 00:02:24,059 --> 00:02:25,860 You know what that man did? 54 00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:28,396 He left me a mint on my pillow. 55 00:02:28,463 --> 00:02:31,683 Actually, that might've fallen out of his mouth while he was napping. 56 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:34,052 (Laughing) You're a rascal, you know that? 57 00:02:34,119 --> 00:02:35,920 [Laughing] 58 00:02:38,356 --> 00:02:39,407 Mmm. 59 00:02:40,092 --> 00:02:41,042 Wow. 60 00:02:42,277 --> 00:02:43,611 You know, 61 00:02:43,678 --> 00:02:47,031 this might be the best thing I've ever eaten. 62 00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:48,432 Hey, dad. What's up, Doug? 63 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,334 Hey, Danny. Taste this sandwich. 64 00:02:50,402 --> 00:02:51,469 Uh, I--I just ate. 65 00:02:51,536 --> 00:02:52,604 Taste it! 66 00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:54,538 Dad, do you want to sell your condo, or not? 67 00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:56,474 We got the realtor meetin' us at 1:30. 68 00:02:56,541 --> 00:02:59,710 Look, your cousin made this sandwich. Take a bite. 69 00:03:02,281 --> 00:03:03,614 So? 70 00:03:03,682 --> 00:03:05,083 It's good. 71 00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:07,885 It's good? It's just good? 72 00:03:07,953 --> 00:03:10,554 It's great, ok, dad? What do you want from me? 73 00:03:10,622 --> 00:03:11,939 Well, let me tell you somethin'. 74 00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:14,375 If your pizzas were half as good as this sandwich, 75 00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:17,178 maybe your shop wouldn't have gone under. 76 00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:19,797 My biggest fan here. 77 00:03:20,399 --> 00:03:21,566 Can we just go? 78 00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:22,833 Ok, ok. 79 00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:25,770 Dougie, have you got a baggie for this ambrosia? 80 00:03:25,837 --> 00:03:27,488 Yeah, sure. 81 00:03:27,556 --> 00:03:28,656 Thanks. 82 00:03:30,025 --> 00:03:32,026 Ah, zip-loc. The best. 83 00:03:32,094 --> 00:03:33,728 Yeah. 84 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:36,163 Dougie, I'm gonna see you at work tomorrow, right? 85 00:03:36,231 --> 00:03:37,298 Ride in your truck? 86 00:03:37,365 --> 00:03:38,365 Sure. 87 00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:39,634 Hey, thanks. Here you go. 88 00:03:39,702 --> 00:03:41,335 I'll see ya. Ok. 89 00:03:41,403 --> 00:03:43,004 Take care now. Yeah. 90 00:03:43,072 --> 00:03:45,172 I work at I.P.S. Too, dad. 91 00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:49,410 (Stu) Hey, look at this. 92 00:03:49,478 --> 00:03:51,412 We're higher than the s.U.V.'S, 93 00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:54,449 and that's really sayin' somethin'. 94 00:03:54,516 --> 00:03:58,786 Ah, Dougie, you're king of the road. 95 00:03:58,853 --> 00:04:00,505 I'm just so proud of you, Doug, 96 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,207 what you've done for yourself. 97 00:04:02,274 --> 00:04:04,676 Well, thanks a lot, Uncle stu. 98 00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:06,977 I know your father was always ridin' you 99 00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:09,280 to take over his hardware store. 100 00:04:09,348 --> 00:04:12,116 Yeah. It wasn't for me. 101 00:04:12,184 --> 00:04:15,853 I always knew there was somethin' better out there. 102 00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:18,255 (Joe) Well, you see, son, caulk and spackle 103 00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:20,574 are actually pretty different. 104 00:04:20,642 --> 00:04:22,493 Then, of course, there's putty 105 00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:24,462 which is a whole 'nother animal completely. 106 00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:26,146 (Man #1) I.P.S. 107 00:04:26,431 --> 00:04:28,699 I have a package for you. 108 00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:34,272 (Joe) Come on, Dougie. Pay attention. 109 00:04:34,339 --> 00:04:37,275 For example, if you have a hole in your wall, 110 00:04:37,342 --> 00:04:39,010 that's a spackle job. 111 00:04:39,077 --> 00:04:40,394 (Man #2) Hello? 112 00:04:40,462 --> 00:04:42,297 Got your sandwiches. 113 00:04:48,053 --> 00:04:52,423 So what you're saying is what you really want to do is run a sandwich shop? 114 00:04:52,624 --> 00:04:55,092 Yeah, you know when you're a kid you have crazy dreams, 115 00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:58,362 but this--this... This here... this is fine. 116 00:04:58,430 --> 00:05:00,330 (O'Boyle on radio) Heffernan? 117 00:05:00,398 --> 00:05:01,849 Uh, y-yes, Mr. O'Boyle? 118 00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:03,184 What's goin' on? 119 00:05:03,252 --> 00:05:05,085 That star wars pinball machine was supposed 120 00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:07,087 to be delivered before noon. 121 00:05:07,156 --> 00:05:09,624 Uh, y-yes, sir. I'm sorry. I'm just running a little late. 122 00:05:09,691 --> 00:05:12,493 Yeah? We'll I'm here fielding some very angry phone calls 123 00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:14,962 from some very geeky people. 124 00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:17,865 Put down the doughnuts and start driving, huh? 125 00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:19,033 Ok. 126 00:05:21,437 --> 00:05:22,503 Doughnuts. 127 00:05:22,571 --> 00:05:23,671 [Chuckling] 128 00:05:23,739 --> 00:05:25,440 He kids me about my weight. 129 00:05:25,507 --> 00:05:27,274 [Laughing] We laugh. We do. 130 00:05:28,126 --> 00:05:29,027 [Sighing] 131 00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:31,396 Damn it, I can't hold my tongue. 132 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:36,301 You shouldn't let that man boss you around. 133 00:05:36,368 --> 00:05:39,804 It is my boss. It's, it's in the title. 134 00:05:39,871 --> 00:05:43,040 But is he smarter than you? Is he better than you? 135 00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,345 Testing. 136 00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:50,314 Mr. O'Boyle? 137 00:05:50,382 --> 00:05:52,116 No, he's not. No. 138 00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,201 You know what you should do? 139 00:05:54,269 --> 00:05:57,838 You should open that sandwich shop, and work for yourself. 140 00:05:57,906 --> 00:05:59,223 What? Yeah. 141 00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:02,343 You shouldn't have to take any orders from this idiot. 142 00:06:02,411 --> 00:06:05,012 You should be taking sandwich orders from your customers. 143 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,582 That's your dream. That's your gift. 144 00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:11,352 I--I... I couldn't do that. 145 00:06:15,307 --> 00:06:16,907 (Carrie) Hey. 146 00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:18,876 Your clothes are everywhere. What happened? 147 00:06:18,944 --> 00:06:21,012 They explode off your body? 148 00:06:23,882 --> 00:06:25,516 What are you doin'? 149 00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,118 Thinking. 150 00:06:27,185 --> 00:06:29,153 About sports or boobies? 151 00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:31,822 Neither. Sandwiches. 152 00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:33,824 How did I leave that out? 153 00:06:33,892 --> 00:06:35,259 Not sandwiches to eat. 154 00:06:35,327 --> 00:06:38,613 I'm thinkin' about sandwiches as a way of life. 155 00:06:39,731 --> 00:06:41,733 You know my thing, how I always wanted to open 156 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,200 my own sandwich shop. 157 00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:45,769 Oh, yeah. Yeah, you haven't talked about that for a while. 158 00:06:45,837 --> 00:06:48,505 You think that's somethin' I can do, you know, someday? 159 00:06:48,573 --> 00:06:49,590 Sure. 160 00:06:49,657 --> 00:06:51,075 Really? 161 00:06:51,143 --> 00:06:54,962 Yeah, my man can do anything he puts his mind to. 162 00:06:55,029 --> 00:06:57,031 Hey, you thought about taping your remote controls 163 00:06:57,099 --> 00:07:00,785 to that ping-pong paddle so you wouldn't lose 'em, right? 164 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,586 I did, didn't I? 165 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,306 How great would it be? We get... 166 00:07:05,373 --> 00:07:08,742 We get free sandwiches whenever we wanted, free soda. 167 00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:11,428 There'd be a TV there. You'd put the game on. 168 00:07:11,496 --> 00:07:13,898 Sounds a lot like downstairs. 169 00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:15,249 But I'm with you. I'm with you. 170 00:07:15,317 --> 00:07:16,818 You know what I think I should do? 171 00:07:16,885 --> 00:07:19,570 I--I should start putting a few dollars away each week. 172 00:07:19,621 --> 00:07:22,340 You know, maybe sell my bike. 173 00:07:22,441 --> 00:07:25,442 I don't think that triathlon thing's gonna shake out. 174 00:07:27,846 --> 00:07:29,413 And then a few years down the line, 175 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,749 really try and get this thing off the ground, you know? 176 00:07:31,816 --> 00:07:34,552 "Doug's: A place for sandwiches." 177 00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:37,321 You know, you're kinda sexy 178 00:07:37,388 --> 00:07:40,024 when you talk all ambitious and stuff. 179 00:07:40,592 --> 00:07:42,092 Really? 180 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,329 Did I happen to mention that I'm bottomless right now? 181 00:07:51,435 --> 00:07:53,602 [Sportscaster chattering] 182 00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:56,388 ...passes it to Anderson in the corner. They get to spread it out. 183 00:07:56,455 --> 00:07:59,141 Doug, would you mind cracking my back? 184 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:01,810 Very much. 185 00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:03,845 Come on. Stand up. Stand up. 186 00:08:03,913 --> 00:08:08,617 We go back to back. We interlock arms, and you lift. 187 00:08:08,685 --> 00:08:11,053 All right, just so you know, this is the last time 188 00:08:11,121 --> 00:08:13,222 our asses will ever touch. 189 00:08:15,258 --> 00:08:16,725 Oh, yeah! 190 00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:19,661 There it is. 191 00:08:19,729 --> 00:08:21,230 Crack! 192 00:08:21,297 --> 00:08:22,431 Oh. Oh! 193 00:08:22,932 --> 00:08:24,099 Whoo! 194 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,800 Now, I'm gonna lie on my stomach and-- 195 00:08:25,868 --> 00:08:27,236 we're done. 196 00:08:29,506 --> 00:08:31,473 Hey, kids, I got great news. 197 00:08:31,541 --> 00:08:33,408 That Korean couple bought my condo. 198 00:08:33,476 --> 00:08:35,844 (Danny) Hey! Congratulations. 199 00:08:35,911 --> 00:08:37,930 I did great on the sale. 200 00:08:37,997 --> 00:08:40,933 They didn't want me to paint it or fix the plumbing or anything. 201 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,735 They missed all the problems. 202 00:08:43,803 --> 00:08:45,153 Nice work, dad. 203 00:08:45,221 --> 00:08:48,473 Yeah. But the bigger news is after I left my realtor, 204 00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:51,726 I went past the falafel joint. It was for lease. 205 00:08:52,462 --> 00:08:53,829 Ok. 206 00:08:53,896 --> 00:08:57,115 So, guess what I'm gonna do with my windfall? 207 00:08:57,183 --> 00:08:59,234 I'm gonna back you, Dougie. 208 00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,103 S-s-sorry. W-what? 209 00:09:02,305 --> 00:09:04,607 Yeah, so you can open your sandwich shop. 210 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:07,376 You're the talent. I'm the money. 211 00:09:08,177 --> 00:09:09,411 Great. 212 00:09:09,479 --> 00:09:12,381 Really? I--I was... I was thinkin' 213 00:09:12,448 --> 00:09:14,567 I'd do that down the line somewhere. 214 00:09:14,634 --> 00:09:15,851 "Down the line"? 215 00:09:15,919 --> 00:09:18,487 Dougie, you're young. You're strong. 216 00:09:18,555 --> 00:09:22,374 You'll never be able to make better sandwiches than you can right now. 217 00:09:24,828 --> 00:09:26,661 Wow. Maybe you're right. 218 00:09:26,729 --> 00:09:29,198 This is... the whole thing we were talkin' about last night. 219 00:09:29,282 --> 00:09:30,348 It can actually happen. 220 00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:31,850 Yeah. 221 00:09:31,918 --> 00:09:33,418 Yay. 222 00:09:34,854 --> 00:09:37,355 But--but, honey, we can't take stu's money. 223 00:09:37,423 --> 00:09:38,707 That's his nest egg. 224 00:09:38,775 --> 00:09:40,909 What else am I gonna do with it? 225 00:09:40,977 --> 00:09:43,912 Come on, Doug. What do you say? 226 00:09:44,914 --> 00:09:47,049 I--I--I don't know what to say. 227 00:09:47,116 --> 00:09:49,367 Except white, wheat, or rye? 228 00:09:49,435 --> 00:09:50,785 [Laughing] 229 00:09:50,854 --> 00:09:52,955 That's my brother's boy. 230 00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,156 [Laughing] 231 00:10:00,397 --> 00:10:02,631 Possible name for Italian sub: 232 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,332 The hammy aiello. 233 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,489 Call Danny's people. Get that set up. 234 00:10:10,506 --> 00:10:12,207 Hey, honey, what are you doin' up? 235 00:10:12,275 --> 00:10:15,477 I--I couldn't sleep. I got all these ideas I had to get 'em down. 236 00:10:15,544 --> 00:10:17,880 Everybody loves egg nog. Serve it all year 'round. 237 00:10:17,947 --> 00:10:19,647 Huh? Great. 238 00:10:19,715 --> 00:10:20,699 Carrie, it's amazing. 239 00:10:20,767 --> 00:10:22,801 All these ideas are just channeling through me. 240 00:10:22,869 --> 00:10:24,803 I don't even know where they're comin' from. 241 00:10:24,871 --> 00:10:27,706 Oh! Halloween special, the Herman munster. 242 00:10:28,507 --> 00:10:29,992 See what just happened? 243 00:10:30,060 --> 00:10:32,795 Yeah, ok, well, you got all the funny sandwich names down 244 00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:35,931 but how you doin' with, like, learning about bookkeeping, 245 00:10:35,998 --> 00:10:37,966 in-insurance, state licensing. 246 00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:39,551 Squagel. I'm sorry. What? 247 00:10:39,619 --> 00:10:41,937 A squagel, a square bagel. A squa... 248 00:10:43,707 --> 00:10:45,808 A squagel and a schmear. 249 00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:48,510 Uh-huh. 250 00:10:48,578 --> 00:10:50,879 "Squagel." Ok, I like "squagel," 251 00:10:50,947 --> 00:10:54,316 but, um, can we talk for a minute about your squacheck? 252 00:10:56,519 --> 00:10:58,353 I mean, 253 00:10:58,421 --> 00:11:00,355 you--you gonna do this whole thing while still workin' at I.P.S. 254 00:11:00,423 --> 00:11:02,240 I mean, what's-- I didn't tell you all this? 255 00:11:02,308 --> 00:11:03,408 No. 256 00:11:03,476 --> 00:11:05,243 I looked into it, and the union allows you 257 00:11:05,311 --> 00:11:07,362 to take 6 months off unpaid. 258 00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:09,915 No pay, huh? 259 00:11:09,983 --> 00:11:12,467 I--I know it's scary. I'm a little scared, too, 260 00:11:12,535 --> 00:11:14,669 but you know how I know it's gonna work out? 261 00:11:14,737 --> 00:11:16,788 Because of you. Me? 262 00:11:16,856 --> 00:11:18,507 Yeah. All these years you've been on me 263 00:11:18,575 --> 00:11:21,643 about takin' more initiative and everything. 264 00:11:21,711 --> 00:11:24,013 Have I? Yeah. 265 00:11:24,047 --> 00:11:27,482 You know, all that "get off your fat ass" stuff. 266 00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:29,902 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 267 00:11:29,969 --> 00:11:33,221 Well, if you'll notice, I am off said fat ass 268 00:11:33,289 --> 00:11:36,391 and she's a-stayin' airborne, 269 00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:38,510 and it's all thanks to you. 270 00:11:40,479 --> 00:11:41,613 That's sweet, honey. 271 00:11:41,681 --> 00:11:44,883 So, in appreciation, I present to you, 272 00:11:45,718 --> 00:11:47,185 the Carrie. 273 00:11:48,805 --> 00:11:51,823 Wow. What's in it? 274 00:11:51,891 --> 00:11:53,625 Eye makeup and a pickle. 275 00:11:54,176 --> 00:11:55,710 I'm kidding. 276 00:11:59,082 --> 00:12:00,966 It's good. Try it, Carrie. 277 00:12:01,034 --> 00:12:03,201 Taste "the Carrie." 278 00:12:03,269 --> 00:12:04,403 Hmm. 279 00:12:05,371 --> 00:12:06,738 Ok. 280 00:12:08,775 --> 00:12:10,074 (Doug) Huh? Huh? 281 00:12:10,142 --> 00:12:11,943 Mmm-hmm. I'm yummy. 282 00:12:13,245 --> 00:12:15,764 Wait till you try yourself on a squagel. 283 00:12:24,540 --> 00:12:26,174 Hey, guys. Hey, Carrie 284 00:12:26,242 --> 00:12:28,310 find a good game. Ah, we got killed. 285 00:12:28,378 --> 00:12:31,446 I never seen a hasidic kid dunk before. 286 00:12:31,514 --> 00:12:34,516 Moisheh got game. 287 00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,119 So, uh, what you got going on tonight? You got a hot date? 288 00:12:37,186 --> 00:12:39,021 No, it's rough out there. I got nothin'. 289 00:12:39,088 --> 00:12:40,422 Well, your fortune's gonna change 290 00:12:40,490 --> 00:12:42,324 once I open my sandwich shop. 291 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,441 Oh, yeah? How's that? 292 00:12:43,509 --> 00:12:44,993 Because you'll be in with the owner, 293 00:12:45,061 --> 00:12:46,327 meaning, you can just duck down 294 00:12:46,395 --> 00:12:47,863 and grab a soda whenever you want. 295 00:12:47,931 --> 00:12:49,698 Chicks dig that. 296 00:12:49,766 --> 00:12:51,817 Sounds like it's gonna be a swingin' joint, my man. 297 00:12:51,884 --> 00:12:53,118 Let's get this party started. 298 00:12:53,185 --> 00:12:54,970 All right, bro. I'm gonna take a shower. 299 00:12:55,037 --> 00:12:56,538 Is it ok if I use your loofah? 300 00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:59,775 I promise not to use it on the parts we discussed. 301 00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:01,443 That's fine, hon. 302 00:13:01,511 --> 00:13:04,863 All right. See ya, nephew. 303 00:13:04,931 --> 00:13:07,666 Deacon, listen, we don't have a lot of time. 304 00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:09,868 I just want to ask you a question off the record. 305 00:13:09,936 --> 00:13:12,771 Do you really think that Doug can run his own sandwich shop? 306 00:13:12,839 --> 00:13:14,156 Sure. Really? 307 00:13:14,223 --> 00:13:15,390 And be successful? 308 00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:17,426 Oh, no. 309 00:13:17,493 --> 00:13:19,561 Then what are you encouraging him for? 310 00:13:19,628 --> 00:13:22,097 Because I'm his best friend. I tell him what he wants to hear 311 00:13:22,165 --> 00:13:24,433 like when he asked me if he looked good in those overalls 312 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,202 you were the one who told him they look good. 313 00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:30,071 He wore those for an entire summer! 314 00:13:30,139 --> 00:13:31,607 I--I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. 315 00:13:31,674 --> 00:13:33,909 Maybe he can pull it off. He makes a good sandwich. 316 00:13:33,976 --> 00:13:36,812 Deacon, he has no business sense. 317 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,948 I mean, he wants to stick ads on traffic signs. 318 00:13:40,016 --> 00:13:41,983 "Stop at Doug's." 319 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,254 That could cause fatal accidents. 320 00:13:46,322 --> 00:13:48,907 Thank you. That's why you have to talk to him. 321 00:13:48,974 --> 00:13:50,642 Look, I'm not talkin' to him. 322 00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:52,710 Deacon, you have to. 323 00:13:52,778 --> 00:13:56,348 If--if you can see the future, it's your responsibility to change it. 324 00:13:56,416 --> 00:14:00,034 It's like shooting baby Hitler. 325 00:14:00,102 --> 00:14:03,472 Wait a minute. You're his wife. Why don't you tell him? 326 00:14:03,539 --> 00:14:06,508 Because I'm already on record saying I believe in him. 327 00:14:06,576 --> 00:14:07,525 Well, why'd you do that? 328 00:14:07,593 --> 00:14:09,127 Because it's like when your kid says, 329 00:14:09,194 --> 00:14:10,929 he wants to be president, you don't say, 330 00:14:10,997 --> 00:14:13,564 "no, Tommy. You're a moron." 331 00:14:13,632 --> 00:14:16,835 You encourage him because you don't think it's ever gonna happen. 332 00:14:16,903 --> 00:14:18,052 Well, I got news for you. 333 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,322 Tommy's running for president. 334 00:14:20,389 --> 00:14:22,491 Not if you stop him. 335 00:14:22,558 --> 00:14:23,875 [Sighs] Look, why me? 336 00:14:23,943 --> 00:14:26,845 Please, I can't hurt his feelings like this. 337 00:14:26,913 --> 00:14:28,931 I mean, he's naming a sandwich after me. 338 00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,698 So? He already named one after me. 339 00:14:30,766 --> 00:14:34,036 The Deacon: Pastrami, corned beef, Swiss cheese, French dressing. 340 00:14:34,103 --> 00:14:37,439 I gotta level with you. Sounds a lot like the Spence without the onions. 341 00:14:37,507 --> 00:14:40,442 Deacon, come on. He's meeting with the man tomorrow. 342 00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:42,594 He's gonna sign a lease. I'm running out of time. 343 00:14:42,661 --> 00:14:44,796 I'll tell you what, if the overalls make a comeback, 344 00:14:44,864 --> 00:14:46,631 I'll be the bad guy, the best I can do. 345 00:14:46,699 --> 00:14:48,466 I already burned them! 346 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,775 So, the soda machine works perfectly. 347 00:14:58,843 --> 00:15:02,429 And there's a brand-new co2 cartridge in there. 348 00:15:02,497 --> 00:15:04,998 Co2? Not bad. 349 00:15:05,066 --> 00:15:08,668 Hey, honey, check it out. I'm wiping down the counter after a hard day's work, huh? 350 00:15:08,736 --> 00:15:11,137 That's great, honey. Hey, sorry, kids. We're closed, 351 00:15:11,205 --> 00:15:12,705 but, hey, stay off the drugs! 352 00:15:12,773 --> 00:15:14,641 [Laughing] 353 00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:17,343 Just keep me laughing, Dougie, that's all I ask. 354 00:15:17,412 --> 00:15:21,330 All right. I guess I'm ready to put a little bet on a horse called me. 355 00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:23,533 Where do I sign? Whoa, whoa, whoa. 356 00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:25,669 Don't you wanna ask a few more questions first? 357 00:15:25,737 --> 00:15:28,938 Like what? Like which soda distributor gives you the best deal. 358 00:15:28,973 --> 00:15:31,240 How do you calculate your payroll taxes? 359 00:15:31,308 --> 00:15:34,127 Do you offer your part-time employees health insurance? 360 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,696 I happen to know a few things about the restaurant business. 361 00:15:36,764 --> 00:15:40,467 Yeah, ok. Well, I'll be sure to read the book you wrote, 362 00:15:40,518 --> 00:15:42,369 especially chapter 11. 363 00:15:43,838 --> 00:15:46,740 I kid, man. I kid out of love. 364 00:15:46,807 --> 00:15:48,242 Come with me to the back, guys. 365 00:15:48,309 --> 00:15:49,843 I'll show you the storage area. 366 00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:51,545 Then we can get the paperwork going. 367 00:15:51,613 --> 00:15:52,746 (Doug) Ok. 368 00:16:07,695 --> 00:16:09,763 This must be tough for you. 369 00:16:11,732 --> 00:16:12,799 What do you mean? 370 00:16:12,866 --> 00:16:16,186 Well, I'm sure you have a million ideas 371 00:16:16,253 --> 00:16:17,553 for great businesses, 372 00:16:17,621 --> 00:16:20,757 and here, your own father's giving Doug all his money. 373 00:16:20,825 --> 00:16:23,176 That--that can't feel good. 374 00:16:24,078 --> 00:16:26,647 Well, you know, his money. 375 00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:28,682 I'm happy for Doug. 376 00:16:28,749 --> 00:16:30,050 Oh, yeah, me, too. 377 00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:34,438 But what about Danny in all this? 378 00:16:34,522 --> 00:16:36,423 When is it Danny's turn? 379 00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:40,176 What can I do, anyway? 380 00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:42,462 I don't know. I guess if it was me, 381 00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:45,565 I would talk to my father before that lease got signed. 382 00:16:45,633 --> 00:16:47,516 I'd say, 383 00:16:47,584 --> 00:16:50,303 "dad, I'm your son, damn it. 384 00:16:50,371 --> 00:16:52,905 Back me and not Doug." 385 00:16:52,974 --> 00:16:55,808 But, you know, whatever. It's none of my business. 386 00:16:57,795 --> 00:17:00,280 I can't, ok? 387 00:17:00,347 --> 00:17:03,333 I'm gonna go wait outside. 388 00:17:03,401 --> 00:17:05,702 Well, the back area seems to be in order, 389 00:17:05,769 --> 00:17:08,438 by the way, I just learned who we're sharing the dumpster with, 390 00:17:08,506 --> 00:17:10,240 the corrective shoe king. 391 00:17:10,308 --> 00:17:12,775 Yeah, I just saw his highness out in the alley taking a leak. 392 00:17:12,843 --> 00:17:14,811 [Guffawing] 393 00:17:14,878 --> 00:17:16,796 He's marvelous. 394 00:17:16,864 --> 00:17:18,248 All right, I got all the papers. 395 00:17:18,315 --> 00:17:21,484 Per your request, the meat spit will stay. 396 00:17:21,552 --> 00:17:23,120 So if you're ready to sign. 397 00:17:23,187 --> 00:17:25,488 All right, let's do it. Great. 398 00:17:25,556 --> 00:17:26,873 [Clears throat] 399 00:17:28,309 --> 00:17:29,976 Wait, wait! Um, 400 00:17:30,044 --> 00:17:32,945 Doug, can I just talk to you in there for one sec? 401 00:17:33,013 --> 00:17:34,514 Ok. 402 00:17:38,419 --> 00:17:39,653 What's going on? 403 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,521 I--I gotta be honest with you, ok. 404 00:17:41,589 --> 00:17:43,956 I really don't have a good feeling about this place. 405 00:17:44,024 --> 00:17:45,425 What? Why? 406 00:17:45,493 --> 00:17:49,128 Well, first of all, what is that smell? 407 00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:51,264 What smell? 408 00:17:51,332 --> 00:17:53,600 Whoo! You're not gettin' that? 409 00:17:53,668 --> 00:17:56,636 It smells like something just died in here. 410 00:17:56,704 --> 00:17:59,388 Carrie, what--what's really goin' on? 411 00:18:00,908 --> 00:18:02,559 Ok, well, first, let me say, 412 00:18:02,627 --> 00:18:04,460 I love you a whole lot. 413 00:18:06,229 --> 00:18:08,999 Dad, I'm your son, damn it. 414 00:18:09,066 --> 00:18:10,917 Back me and not Doug. 415 00:18:12,152 --> 00:18:14,037 Me? The prob-- the problem is me? 416 00:18:14,105 --> 00:18:15,872 Look, it's not you in general. 417 00:18:15,940 --> 00:18:17,540 It's you in this situation. 418 00:18:17,608 --> 00:18:19,943 You said you believed in me. So I guess that stuff about, 419 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,845 "you can do anything you set your mind to," 420 00:18:21,912 --> 00:18:23,346 that was a big bunch of crap? 421 00:18:23,413 --> 00:18:26,666 Crap is a strong word. It was more like hooey. 422 00:18:28,403 --> 00:18:30,871 Ok, well, you know what? This is a real eye-opener. 423 00:18:30,938 --> 00:18:33,840 My wife doesn't believe in me. Hmm! 424 00:18:34,709 --> 00:18:36,510 Doug, it's not just you. 425 00:18:36,577 --> 00:18:38,678 Come on, I couldn't be everything I wanted to be. 426 00:18:38,746 --> 00:18:40,547 I could never be an astronaut. 427 00:18:40,615 --> 00:18:43,733 Uh-huh, ok, so me making a go of a sandwich shop 428 00:18:43,735 --> 00:18:46,953 is as likely as you walking on the surface of the moon. 429 00:18:48,289 --> 00:18:50,223 Ok. 430 00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:53,610 Listen to me, you have a million great qualities, 431 00:18:53,678 --> 00:18:56,830 just not the sharpest business sense. 432 00:18:56,897 --> 00:18:59,249 Really? Well, we'll just see about that. 433 00:19:00,084 --> 00:19:02,168 What's--what's going on? 434 00:19:02,236 --> 00:19:03,469 Oh... 435 00:19:03,537 --> 00:19:06,389 Dougie, I can't back your sandwich shop. 436 00:19:06,924 --> 00:19:08,058 What? 437 00:19:08,192 --> 00:19:10,844 I'm so sorry, but I'm gonna go with Danny 438 00:19:10,911 --> 00:19:13,245 because he's my son, 439 00:19:13,313 --> 00:19:14,681 and I love him. 440 00:19:15,382 --> 00:19:17,000 And I love you. 441 00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,284 I know. 442 00:19:19,319 --> 00:19:20,836 So come on, son. 443 00:19:20,904 --> 00:19:23,306 Let's go talk about your new ideas. 444 00:19:23,374 --> 00:19:25,408 I'd like that, dad. 445 00:19:25,476 --> 00:19:27,744 I'll see you tonight, kids. 446 00:19:27,811 --> 00:19:30,997 Oh, hey, Carrie, thanks for making this happen. 447 00:19:39,607 --> 00:19:43,109 Well, I think I finally figured out what the smell is. 448 00:19:45,179 --> 00:19:47,380 The stink of betrayal. 449 00:19:53,487 --> 00:19:55,538 I can't run a business. 450 00:19:55,606 --> 00:19:57,807 I was born to run a business. 451 00:19:59,143 --> 00:20:00,560 (Joe) Dougie, watch the counter. 452 00:20:00,627 --> 00:20:03,212 I gotta finish unpackin' these faucet handles back here. 453 00:20:03,281 --> 00:20:05,148 Is this coupon still valid? 454 00:20:05,215 --> 00:20:07,250 I need to return this, but I don't have a receipt. 455 00:20:07,318 --> 00:20:08,752 Can you take it off my charge card, 456 00:20:08,819 --> 00:20:10,287 or do I have to get a store credit? 457 00:20:10,354 --> 00:20:11,988 This car key works fine. 458 00:20:12,055 --> 00:20:15,491 Now, let's see, that's 76 cents. Here's $1.01. 459 00:20:23,401 --> 00:20:25,468 (Man) Hold it, hold it, hold it! 460 00:20:25,536 --> 00:20:27,286 That's 2 dimes you just gave me. 461 00:20:27,354 --> 00:20:28,922 I gave you $1.01. 462 00:20:28,989 --> 00:20:31,308 You understand? $1.01. 463 00:21:56,694 --> 00:21:58,661 Face on a cap. 464 00:21:58,729 --> 00:22:00,613 Face on a cap. 465 00:22:00,681 --> 00:22:02,448 Face on a cap! 33689