Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,605 --> 00:00:09,607
Hey, check it out.
A snow cone machine.
2
00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:12,743
A snow cone machine?
3
00:00:12,994 --> 00:00:13,861
No. You're sayin' it wrong.
4
00:00:13,929 --> 00:00:15,946
It's a snow cone machine.
5
00:00:17,215 --> 00:00:19,534
When an undeliverable package
goes 6 months
6
00:00:19,601 --> 00:00:21,936
without being claimed
by the sender or the sendee,
7
00:00:22,003 --> 00:00:25,706
the driver gets to keep it.
8
00:00:25,724 --> 00:00:29,193
And you just happened to land
a snow cone machine?
9
00:00:29,261 --> 00:00:31,095
I'm smellin' foul play.
10
00:00:31,163 --> 00:00:32,780
Where can I put this bad boy?
11
00:00:32,848 --> 00:00:34,882
No, no, no, no! I don't have
any counter space.
12
00:00:34,950 --> 00:00:36,117
Come on, what is this then?
13
00:00:36,185 --> 00:00:37,618
That's the breadmaker.
14
00:00:37,686 --> 00:00:38,719
Bye-bye.
15
00:00:38,787 --> 00:00:40,738
Come on! You love bread.
16
00:00:40,805 --> 00:00:43,507
And if I was coming home to
fresh-baked bread every night,
17
00:00:43,575 --> 00:00:45,776
or even once,
you'd have a point.
18
00:00:45,844 --> 00:00:48,412
Oh, like you're gonna
make snow cones every day?
19
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,948
Actually, you probably will.
Ok. Give it to me.
20
00:00:51,032 --> 00:00:53,534
I'll find room for it
in the crap cabinet.
21
00:00:54,369 --> 00:00:56,136
Hey, fella.
22
00:00:56,204 --> 00:01:00,074
This is your new home.
Welcome to counterville.
23
00:01:01,343 --> 00:01:03,978
This is mayor mcsink.
24
00:01:04,045 --> 00:01:07,948
Uh, Doug, I just found
your old milk shake machine.
25
00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:10,651
Oh.
26
00:01:10,719 --> 00:01:13,387
We're gonna have to
move the toaster.
27
00:01:13,455 --> 00:01:16,774
♪ My eyesare gettin' weary ♪
28
00:01:16,841 --> 00:01:19,760
♪ my back is gettin' tight
29
00:01:19,827 --> 00:01:21,511
♪ I'm sittin' herein traffic ♪
30
00:01:21,579 --> 00:01:24,731
♪ on the queensborough bridgetonight ♪
31
00:01:24,799 --> 00:01:27,768
♪ but I don't care,'cause all I want to do ♪
32
00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:33,574
♪ is cash my checkand drive right home to you ♪
33
00:01:35,777 --> 00:01:37,561
♪ 'cause, baby, all my life
34
00:01:37,629 --> 00:01:40,882
♪ I will be drivin'home to you ♪
35
00:01:49,706 --> 00:01:51,858
How great is blue?
36
00:01:51,926 --> 00:01:54,377
Hey, butch. You're the reason
I'm doing this.
37
00:01:54,445 --> 00:01:57,130
You wanna get involved here?
38
00:01:57,197 --> 00:02:00,166
Do I look like
I have a free hand?
39
00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:04,237
Douglas, I'd like to show you
something in private.
40
00:02:04,388 --> 00:02:06,222
For men's eyes only.
41
00:02:08,359 --> 00:02:10,092
This can't end well.
42
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,577
[Clearing throat]
43
00:02:13,430 --> 00:02:15,064
What do you think of this?
44
00:02:15,132 --> 00:02:18,217
It's a Randy cartoon
I plan to submit to playboy.
45
00:02:20,204 --> 00:02:21,670
Ok.
46
00:02:21,738 --> 00:02:24,140
It's a boss chasing his
secretary around the desk,
47
00:02:24,207 --> 00:02:26,743
and the caption reads,
"why, Mr. hinklemeyer,
48
00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:29,012
I thought you said dictation."
49
00:02:31,982 --> 00:02:34,684
Dictation, Douglas.
50
00:02:34,752 --> 00:02:38,487
Right.
W-which one's the woman?
51
00:02:38,556 --> 00:02:41,824
Right here. You can tell
by her ample bosom.
52
00:02:41,892 --> 00:02:44,310
That's bosom?
I thought that was a lamp.
53
00:02:45,028 --> 00:02:46,879
Why's the guy have a tail?
54
00:02:46,947 --> 00:02:48,180
He doesn't.
55
00:02:48,248 --> 00:02:51,684
Those are lines of whooshing
to indicate movement.
56
00:02:51,752 --> 00:02:54,337
I think you need to work on it
a little bit more.
57
00:02:54,405 --> 00:02:57,824
And I think you need to work
on being less of a fat lummox.
58
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,796
Ok, then I guess
we both got things to do.
59
00:03:04,999 --> 00:03:08,218
Hey, I can't believe all
the stuff I'm finding in here.
60
00:03:08,285 --> 00:03:09,802
Where did we get a menorah?
61
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:13,539
Yeah. That's from work. I drew
Goldstein in the secret Santa.
62
00:03:13,607 --> 00:03:16,442
And look at this.
A gravy boat.
63
00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:19,929
Oh. Actually,
this was a wedding gift.
64
00:03:19,996 --> 00:03:22,265
"From Ron and moesha."
65
00:03:22,466 --> 00:03:25,267
That's Ron and marcia,
my 3rd cousins.
66
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:26,869
Remember,
you met them at the wedding?
67
00:03:26,871 --> 00:03:28,838
She's always
talkin' about her kids,
68
00:03:28,906 --> 00:03:33,092
and then it turns out that
her kids are actually cats.
69
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,328
Not ringin' a bell.
What's his deal?
70
00:03:35,396 --> 00:03:36,979
Oh, he's worse.
You ask him a question,
71
00:03:37,047 --> 00:03:39,048
he takes a good minute and
a half starin' at you
72
00:03:39,116 --> 00:03:40,517
before he answers.
73
00:03:40,584 --> 00:03:42,852
You don't know whether to
jump in or go get a beer.
74
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,020
Wait a second.
There's something in here.
75
00:03:45,088 --> 00:03:46,322
What?
76
00:03:47,457 --> 00:03:50,994
It's a check for $1,500!
77
00:03:51,128 --> 00:03:53,045
For who?
For us!
78
00:03:53,113 --> 00:03:55,465
Ron and marcia must have
stuck it in the gravy boat.
79
00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:57,634
We never saw it
because we never used it.
80
00:03:57,701 --> 00:03:59,135
$1,500?
81
00:03:59,202 --> 00:04:01,904
Why would your 3rd cousins
give us such a huge gift?
82
00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:05,141
I don't know. I know he made
a lot of money real young.
83
00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:06,426
And he always
loved my parents.
84
00:04:06,493 --> 00:04:08,344
He helped my dad
get back on his feet.
85
00:04:08,411 --> 00:04:09,779
What do you mean?
Wh-what happened?
86
00:04:09,847 --> 00:04:11,448
At some point
my dad was off his feet,
87
00:04:11,515 --> 00:04:13,750
and Ron helped him back on.
88
00:04:13,767 --> 00:04:15,134
So you have no idea?
89
00:04:15,202 --> 00:04:16,486
No, I don't. When I was a kid,
90
00:04:16,553 --> 00:04:17,970
that's all
they'd ever tell me:
91
00:04:18,038 --> 00:04:19,906
Cousin Ron helped dad
get back on his feet,
92
00:04:19,973 --> 00:04:22,508
and cousin Jeffrey
was a confirmed bachelor.
93
00:04:23,911 --> 00:04:27,330
$1,500! Oh, my God! What
should we do with the money?
94
00:04:27,498 --> 00:04:28,615
I don't know!
95
00:04:28,682 --> 00:04:30,200
How much do the mets cost?
96
00:04:31,785 --> 00:04:34,203
I know.
97
00:04:34,271 --> 00:04:38,007
Let's do that trip
to new Orleans!
98
00:04:38,075 --> 00:04:39,475
Yes! Let's go to new Orleans.
99
00:04:39,543 --> 00:04:41,744
Or, as the locals call it,
nawlins.
100
00:04:41,811 --> 00:04:43,813
That's the way you should
say it. That's the cool way.
101
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,981
Nawlins. Yeah!
We're goin' to nawlins.
102
00:04:46,049 --> 00:04:49,102
And this is the magic
carpet ride to take us there.
103
00:04:49,169 --> 00:04:49,902
Wait a second.
104
00:04:49,970 --> 00:04:51,053
What?
105
00:04:51,121 --> 00:04:52,388
This check is from '95.
106
00:04:52,456 --> 00:04:53,323
So?
107
00:04:53,390 --> 00:04:55,124
You think
the bank is gonna take it?
108
00:04:55,159 --> 00:04:56,993
Yeah. Just stick
it in with the other checks.
109
00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,661
Make a joke.
They won't notice.
110
00:04:58,729 --> 00:05:01,230
That's true. I'm--I'm good at
charmin' the service people.
111
00:05:01,298 --> 00:05:03,249
I like to get down
to their level.
112
00:05:03,251 --> 00:05:05,385
Honey, you are on their level.
113
00:05:07,087 --> 00:05:08,854
Not anymore, sister!
114
00:05:11,025 --> 00:05:13,342
(Woman)
Next person in line, please.
115
00:05:13,410 --> 00:05:14,860
[Clearing throat]
116
00:05:14,928 --> 00:05:16,045
How can I help you?
117
00:05:16,113 --> 00:05:19,031
Well, uh, Lee-Anne,
I'm just, uh,
118
00:05:19,099 --> 00:05:22,101
gonna deposit a couple checks,
paychecks, etcetera.
119
00:05:22,168 --> 00:05:24,436
Nothin' unusual. Boring.
120
00:05:24,504 --> 00:05:25,638
Ok.
121
00:05:28,008 --> 00:05:31,344
So, uh, Lee-Anne,
that's a-- that's a nice name.
122
00:05:31,411 --> 00:05:32,829
You get a lot for your money.
123
00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:35,114
Like your parents said,
"we like Lee, we like Anne.
124
00:05:35,182 --> 00:05:37,499
What the hell.
Let's go with both."
125
00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:39,485
[Laughing]
I'll see you next time. Bye--
126
00:05:39,553 --> 00:05:41,070
uh, sir, we have
a little problem here.
127
00:05:41,137 --> 00:05:42,605
Know what?
You're good at your job.
128
00:05:42,673 --> 00:05:44,490
You can handle it.
Have a great weekend!
129
00:05:44,558 --> 00:05:47,409
Sir, checks are only valid
for one year.
130
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:49,979
And this one's dated 1995.
131
00:05:50,047 --> 00:05:52,448
Oh. Oh, no, that one's-- it's
from my cousin, so it's fine.
132
00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:54,717
He's so cool with it.
He's a good guy, right?
133
00:05:54,719 --> 00:05:56,452
I'm sorry.
We can't accept it.
134
00:05:56,536 --> 00:05:59,355
But I was very nice to you
about your name.
135
00:05:59,422 --> 00:06:01,657
Sorry.
There's nothing I can do.
136
00:06:01,725 --> 00:06:04,510
This is why you're
all being replaced by a.T.Ms.
137
00:06:09,299 --> 00:06:10,399
Mmm.
138
00:06:10,467 --> 00:06:11,750
[Slurping]
139
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,070
Mmm.
140
00:06:18,392 --> 00:06:20,393
I suppose you're wondering
141
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:23,095
why I invited you over
for snow cones.
142
00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:25,014
A little.
143
00:06:25,666 --> 00:06:27,417
Draw me a parrot.
144
00:06:28,986 --> 00:06:30,369
Why?
145
00:06:30,436 --> 00:06:32,304
I got a cartoon idea
for playboy,
146
00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:34,273
but I'm weak
in the art department.
147
00:06:34,341 --> 00:06:36,175
Word on the street is
you like to doodle.
148
00:06:36,243 --> 00:06:38,211
Let's see what you got.
149
00:06:39,195 --> 00:06:41,731
A parrot. Ok. Hmm.
150
00:06:46,302 --> 00:06:47,520
[Grunting]
151
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:53,992
Sweet corn!
I feel like I'm in an aviary!
152
00:06:56,096 --> 00:06:57,246
You're hired.
153
00:06:58,215 --> 00:07:00,033
Well, uh, what's your idea?
154
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,168
Prepare to be delighted.
155
00:07:03,787 --> 00:07:06,638
Dictation. Did you ever?
156
00:07:13,097 --> 00:07:16,682
Hey, I got us a great fare
to nawlins on the Internet,
157
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,051
and I got us a suite,
that's right, a suite,
158
00:07:19,119 --> 00:07:21,386
at "LA French something"
hotel.
159
00:07:21,454 --> 00:07:23,522
We're not goin'. The bank
wouldn't take the check.
160
00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:25,074
What?
What are you talkin' about?
161
00:07:25,142 --> 00:07:27,126
I thought you were gonna
charm the teller.
162
00:07:27,193 --> 00:07:29,411
I--I tried. I did a whole
thing with her name. Lee-Anne.
163
00:07:29,647 --> 00:07:31,980
Oh, my God.
The 2-names-in-1 thing again?
164
00:07:32,048 --> 00:07:33,132
It's funny!
165
00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:34,499
No, it's not funny, honey.
166
00:07:34,567 --> 00:07:38,688
Ok, if it was funny, we'd
have $1,500 in cash right now.
167
00:07:38,755 --> 00:07:41,524
And I was really
into this trip, too.
168
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:44,259
Why don't we just call these
Ron and--and marcia people
169
00:07:44,327 --> 00:07:46,395
and just have them
write us another check?
170
00:07:46,463 --> 00:07:47,930
No, no. I can't do that.
Why not?
171
00:07:47,998 --> 00:07:50,066
Because at our wedding,
Ron made a big deal
172
00:07:50,134 --> 00:07:52,535
about how we should call him
and get together to hang out.
173
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:53,903
That was 6 years ago.
174
00:07:53,971 --> 00:07:55,654
What am I supposed to do,
call him up:
175
00:07:55,722 --> 00:07:59,108
"Hey! Cut me another check,
would you, freaky?"
176
00:07:59,175 --> 00:08:02,228
You've done far worse
just for a sandwich.
177
00:08:02,296 --> 00:08:04,747
Look, I'm sorry.
But of all the people,
I can't offend him.
178
00:08:04,798 --> 00:08:05,897
Sure you can!
179
00:08:05,965 --> 00:08:07,683
He helped my dad
get back on his feet.
180
00:08:07,751 --> 00:08:10,903
Apparently he was tryin' to
get us back on our feet, too!
181
00:08:10,971 --> 00:08:13,305
We just didn't let him.
Give the man a chance.
182
00:08:13,373 --> 00:08:15,191
No, I--I can't do it!
183
00:08:15,193 --> 00:08:17,042
[Sighing]
184
00:08:17,111 --> 00:08:20,329
Ok. All right. Ok. Ok.
How about this?
185
00:08:20,396 --> 00:08:21,997
We invite them over for dinner
186
00:08:22,065 --> 00:08:23,833
just to
re-establish credibility,
187
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,968
absolutely no mention
of the check.
Mmm-hmm.
188
00:08:26,036 --> 00:08:27,686
Then, a week later,
they'll reciprocate.
189
00:08:27,754 --> 00:08:30,906
And then after that, when
we're all good friends again,
190
00:08:30,974 --> 00:08:34,410
we have them over where I
cook something that needs...
191
00:08:37,297 --> 00:08:38,697
What?
192
00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:40,216
Gravy, hon! Gravy!
193
00:08:40,284 --> 00:08:42,118
Ok. All right.
Anyway, anyway, anyway,
194
00:08:42,186 --> 00:08:43,603
we pull out the gravy boat,
195
00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:46,472
where we accidentally
discover the check,
196
00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:49,392
and they'll just write us
a new one. What do you think?
197
00:08:49,394 --> 00:08:50,776
Ok. That's good.
198
00:08:50,844 --> 00:08:52,344
But no gravy the first time.
199
00:08:52,412 --> 00:08:53,663
No gravy. Gravy bad.
200
00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:55,131
Yeah, gravy bad.
201
00:08:57,134 --> 00:08:59,835
What's the matter? Why do you
still look concerned?
202
00:08:59,903 --> 00:09:01,738
I'm just tryin' to
wrap my head around this.
203
00:09:01,805 --> 00:09:03,472
Usually, gravy good.
204
00:09:07,026 --> 00:09:10,746
So, I've got all 3 kids
in the tub
at the same time, right?
205
00:09:12,182 --> 00:09:14,400
Get this:
My youngest decides
206
00:09:14,468 --> 00:09:17,853
it's time to learn
about splashing.
207
00:09:17,855 --> 00:09:20,956
Forget about it. I'm
wearing silk, like an idiot.
208
00:09:21,024 --> 00:09:22,557
It was such a crazy mess,
209
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:25,227
I'm thinking of
getting them all declawed.
210
00:09:28,815 --> 00:09:30,616
Don't cats bathe themselves?
211
00:09:30,684 --> 00:09:31,901
Huh?
212
00:09:31,969 --> 00:09:33,569
Cats.
Don't they bathe themselves?
213
00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:35,755
I thought that was
their big selling point.
214
00:09:35,822 --> 00:09:39,976
Oh, but bath time is
so good for bonding, Carrie.
215
00:09:40,043 --> 00:09:42,962
Believe me, when
you have kids, you'll know.
216
00:09:44,014 --> 00:09:45,814
Ok. So, Ron, how you doin'?
217
00:09:53,106 --> 00:09:55,274
I'm good, Doug.
I'm--I'm good.
218
00:09:55,342 --> 00:09:57,309
Great. Great.
Uh, Ron's a big jet fan.
219
00:09:57,377 --> 00:09:59,144
He has season tickets
and everything.
220
00:09:59,212 --> 00:10:00,930
Y-you still a jet fan, Ron?
221
00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:05,985
[Whispering]
Pass the salt.
222
00:10:06,052 --> 00:10:07,319
Here.
223
00:10:07,387 --> 00:10:09,805
Yes, I am. I am, Doug.
224
00:10:09,873 --> 00:10:12,307
But I wish he'd give up
those season tickets.
225
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:16,545
He's never home. The kids
barely know him anymore.
226
00:10:16,613 --> 00:10:18,781
They're in bed with us
every night, marcia.
227
00:10:18,849 --> 00:10:21,817
Think they know me better than
any cat should know a man.
228
00:10:21,885 --> 00:10:25,771
Oh! Trust me. He loves it
when they touch him.
229
00:10:28,641 --> 00:10:29,841
Who wants gravy?
230
00:10:29,909 --> 00:10:31,743
Uh, we don't need gravy now.
231
00:10:31,811 --> 00:10:33,512
Oh, sure we do.
Sure we do.
232
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:37,366
No. Everything's very moist
and succulent, right, Ron?
233
00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:40,435
Ok, I'm goin'.
Be back in a jiff.
234
00:10:40,503 --> 00:10:42,738
Yeah, Carrie.
She, uh, she loves gravy--
235
00:10:42,806 --> 00:10:45,074
you know what? We're gonna
use the gravy boat
236
00:10:45,142 --> 00:10:47,175
that you guys gave us
for our wedding.
237
00:10:47,243 --> 00:10:48,694
Oh, look at that.
238
00:10:48,762 --> 00:10:50,162
Yeah, we haven't even
used it yet, actually.
239
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,964
We were waiting
for a special occasion.
240
00:10:52,032 --> 00:10:55,834
Let me just, uh, pop
the top off, here, and, uh...
241
00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:58,904
What the... what's this?
242
00:10:58,972 --> 00:11:01,473
What is it, honey?
The instructions?
243
00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:12,751
It's a check from you guys.
For $1,500!
244
00:11:12,819 --> 00:11:15,771
What? But, wait, you mean
you two never saw that?
245
00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:18,674
I put the check in
the gravy boat to be cute,
like--
246
00:11:18,742 --> 00:11:20,209
like the check is the gravy.
247
00:11:20,277 --> 00:11:23,079
Oh, my God! I just...
248
00:11:28,385 --> 00:11:32,421
This is the nicest gift
anyone's ever given us ever.
249
00:11:33,774 --> 00:11:36,192
I... I...
250
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:38,594
I'm sorry.
251
00:11:42,766 --> 00:11:45,684
She thought the only thing
we gave her for her wedding
252
00:11:45,752 --> 00:11:48,720
was that chintzy little
gravy boat.
253
00:11:48,788 --> 00:11:51,873
That's why you didn't call us
all these years.
254
00:11:51,941 --> 00:11:54,643
Uh, well,
we were a little hurt, but...
255
00:11:55,878 --> 00:11:58,013
You can't put a price
on friendship.
256
00:11:58,081 --> 00:12:00,349
You know, you're not gonna
be able to cash that.
257
00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:02,751
Honey, write them
another check.
Absolutely.
258
00:12:02,819 --> 00:12:04,686
Uh, remember, it's 2002.
259
00:12:04,754 --> 00:12:07,289
Now, you use this
for something fun.
260
00:12:07,356 --> 00:12:09,608
No paying bills with this.
No, no, no, no, no!
261
00:12:09,676 --> 00:12:12,845
Actually, we were planning
a trip to new Orleans.
262
00:12:12,912 --> 00:12:16,699
New Orleans! That's our town!
We go all the time!
263
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,567
Hey, here's a crazy thought.
264
00:12:18,569 --> 00:12:20,569
Now, that this mess
is all cleared up,
265
00:12:20,637 --> 00:12:22,153
why don't we go together?
266
00:12:22,221 --> 00:12:24,273
Uh, well, you know what, um,
we'd actually slow you down
267
00:12:24,341 --> 00:12:25,758
because we don't drink.
268
00:12:25,826 --> 00:12:27,476
(Both)
Neither do we!
269
00:12:27,544 --> 00:12:29,011
It's perfect!
270
00:12:30,930 --> 00:12:34,249
Don't you dare go
to new Orleans without us.
271
00:12:44,626 --> 00:12:45,776
This was great.
272
00:12:45,844 --> 00:12:47,695
Yeah.
Let's do it again real soon.
273
00:12:47,763 --> 00:12:50,298
(Marcia)
I'll call you with the number
of my cat guy.
274
00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:51,599
All right.
275
00:12:54,136 --> 00:12:55,170
That was rough.
276
00:12:55,237 --> 00:12:56,704
Yeah, it was.
277
00:12:56,772 --> 00:12:59,607
Listen, I'm sorry I jumped in
early on the gravy thing,
278
00:12:59,674 --> 00:13:02,210
but it was either
that or open fire on them.
279
00:13:02,277 --> 00:13:03,727
I hear that.
280
00:13:03,796 --> 00:13:07,498
But at least we got the check,
and we are goin' to nawlins.
281
00:13:07,565 --> 00:13:09,467
What? We can't go.
282
00:13:09,534 --> 00:13:10,934
Why not?
283
00:13:11,002 --> 00:13:12,436
They just said,
"don't you dare go
without us."
284
00:13:12,504 --> 00:13:16,007
Unless you wanna go with them
and their cats, we can't go.
285
00:13:16,075 --> 00:13:17,041
Are you insane?
286
00:13:17,109 --> 00:13:19,777
I'm not insane. Carrie,
if we go and they find out,
287
00:13:19,844 --> 00:13:22,045
they'll call my parents.
Then my parents will call me,
288
00:13:22,113 --> 00:13:24,815
and I'll hear,
"where did we go wrong?"
289
00:13:26,485 --> 00:13:29,286
What you're saying is we can't
go on our trip to new Orleans
290
00:13:29,354 --> 00:13:33,591
because Ron and marcia might
tell your mommy on you?
291
00:13:35,193 --> 00:13:36,810
Thank you for understanding.
292
00:13:36,878 --> 00:13:41,499
Honey, I understand that Ron
got your dad back on his feet.
293
00:13:41,566 --> 00:13:44,618
Nobody knows what that means,
but I respect it.
294
00:13:44,686 --> 00:13:47,605
But are you really telling me
because of that,
295
00:13:47,672 --> 00:13:51,175
a whole city
is off-limits to us forever?
296
00:13:52,127 --> 00:13:54,845
Not forever.
Just till my folks die.
297
00:13:56,347 --> 00:13:58,415
Doug! We can't live like this!
298
00:13:58,483 --> 00:14:00,250
I mean,
what if your Uncle stu says
299
00:14:00,318 --> 00:14:02,453
we can't go to Brooklyn
without him?
300
00:14:02,455 --> 00:14:05,456
Do I have to take him
to my gynecologist with me?
301
00:14:05,524 --> 00:14:06,624
Look, we got the money.
302
00:14:06,692 --> 00:14:08,660
Can't we go someplace
instead of new Orleans?
303
00:14:08,727 --> 00:14:10,945
There's gotta be plenty of
other fun places we can go.
304
00:14:11,013 --> 00:14:12,113
Oh, yeah? Ok, name one.
305
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:14,665
And it can't be cooperstown
or hershey park.
306
00:14:16,151 --> 00:14:17,318
Oh.
307
00:14:17,385 --> 00:14:19,520
Yeah.
308
00:14:19,588 --> 00:14:23,257
It's gotta be a place where
I can flash my boobs legally,
309
00:14:23,325 --> 00:14:25,559
because I will flash my boobs.
310
00:14:26,128 --> 00:14:26,994
[Sighing]
311
00:14:27,062 --> 00:14:28,579
Well, that rule's not fair.
312
00:14:28,647 --> 00:14:31,382
There's only one place you can
flash your boobs legally.
313
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:32,817
That's right, honey.
314
00:14:32,885 --> 00:14:35,352
And isn't that the place
you wanna be?
315
00:14:39,991 --> 00:14:40,991
Yes!
316
00:14:50,986 --> 00:14:53,804
Nawlins.
It's nice here, right?
317
00:14:53,872 --> 00:14:55,272
What? Yeah.
318
00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:57,307
I think I see marcia
across the street.
319
00:14:57,376 --> 00:14:59,610
Ok. That's the 3rd marcia
you've seen today.
320
00:14:59,678 --> 00:15:01,912
Although it is
the first black one.
321
00:15:02,614 --> 00:15:04,314
It looks like her.
322
00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:06,751
Ron and marcia are not here.
323
00:15:06,819 --> 00:15:08,586
They could be here.
It's their town.
324
00:15:08,654 --> 00:15:10,487
When you have a town,
you go to it a lot.
325
00:15:10,556 --> 00:15:11,906
That's how
it becomes your town!
326
00:15:11,974 --> 00:15:13,540
You need to chill out.
Yeah, you do.
327
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,676
Ok, you know what?
Let's have a little fun.
328
00:15:15,743 --> 00:15:17,845
Come on, baby.
Smile pretty for me.
329
00:15:17,913 --> 00:15:19,430
What, are you crazy?
330
00:15:20,499 --> 00:15:22,666
Uh, I don't think I am. No.
331
00:15:22,734 --> 00:15:25,903
You can't be takin' a picture.
A picture's evidence!
332
00:15:25,971 --> 00:15:29,857
Doug, you need to stop it.
Stop it right now.
333
00:15:29,924 --> 00:15:32,226
Tell me that's not Ron
at the lobster tank!
Doug!
334
00:15:32,527 --> 00:15:34,712
I'm sorry.
But I'm all stressed out, ok?
335
00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:37,114
I lied to my mother. I told
her we went to the alamo.
336
00:15:37,182 --> 00:15:40,635
Now I gotta bring her back
a coonskin hat.
337
00:15:40,702 --> 00:15:44,805
Doug, you need to calm down.
Just take a deep breath.
338
00:15:44,873 --> 00:15:47,307
Look at your menu,
and try to relax.
339
00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:49,993
I don't know why they
call this place the big easy.
340
00:15:50,061 --> 00:15:51,128
It's hard.
341
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,348
It's very hard.
342
00:15:56,651 --> 00:16:00,170
Ok, Arthur.
I got your cartoon all ready.
343
00:16:00,238 --> 00:16:02,056
What do you think?
344
00:16:02,123 --> 00:16:04,825
Where's the boss chasing
his secretary around the desk?
345
00:16:04,893 --> 00:16:06,543
Well, I updated it a little.
346
00:16:06,611 --> 00:16:10,381
I made it a computer repair
guy and a female executive,
347
00:16:10,449 --> 00:16:12,583
and he's saying to her here,
he's goin':
348
00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:15,286
"Hey, how about
now we fix my hard drive?"
349
00:16:17,389 --> 00:16:18,722
[Laughing]
350
00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,559
What the hell have you done?
351
00:16:22,627 --> 00:16:24,845
I--I just improved your idea
a little bit.
352
00:16:24,913 --> 00:16:28,282
No one chases their secretary
around a desk anymore.
353
00:16:28,349 --> 00:16:29,500
Sure they do.
354
00:16:29,567 --> 00:16:30,518
No, they don't, ok?
355
00:16:30,586 --> 00:16:32,754
I'm out in the working world
every day. I know.
356
00:16:32,821 --> 00:16:35,005
You work
in a subway token booth.
357
00:16:35,073 --> 00:16:37,375
You have neither a secretary
nor a desk.
358
00:16:37,442 --> 00:16:40,061
You are totally ignorant
in this area!
359
00:16:40,128 --> 00:16:43,114
I-I'm ignorant? Arthur,
you're out of the loop, ok?
360
00:16:43,181 --> 00:16:46,383
Your--your idea is retro.
Mine's fresh. It's hip!
361
00:16:46,451 --> 00:16:47,468
A little too hip.
362
00:16:47,535 --> 00:16:49,904
John q. Public doesn't know
what a hard drive is!
363
00:16:49,972 --> 00:16:53,057
Ok, anyone who owns a computer
knows what a hard drive is.
364
00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,659
Oh, sure. Mr. bill gates
and his buddies are in for
365
00:16:55,727 --> 00:16:57,061
a hearty chuckle.
366
00:16:57,129 --> 00:16:59,096
What about the rest of us
poor schmucks?
367
00:16:59,164 --> 00:17:00,931
Ok. You know what?
368
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:03,618
I don't wanna do this anymore.
I gotta go.
369
00:17:03,685 --> 00:17:05,102
Fine! You just lost yourself
370
00:17:05,204 --> 00:17:07,538
the best damn caption man
in this business!
371
00:17:10,358 --> 00:17:12,877
I gotta tell you I really had
a great time tonight.
372
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,011
Me, too.
373
00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:15,880
Sorry I got so crazy before.
374
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:17,197
It's ok.
375
00:17:17,265 --> 00:17:19,850
You're positive that wasn't
Ron steering that riverboat?
376
00:17:19,918 --> 00:17:21,485
I'm positive.
377
00:17:21,553 --> 00:17:22,553
Ok.
378
00:17:26,074 --> 00:17:27,274
Oh, my God!
379
00:17:27,342 --> 00:17:28,425
What?
380
00:17:28,493 --> 00:17:30,427
The message light!
It's Ron and marcia!
381
00:17:30,495 --> 00:17:32,279
It's not them.
It's them.
382
00:17:32,347 --> 00:17:33,448
It's not them.
It's them.
383
00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:35,082
It's not them.
It's them!
384
00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:36,717
You know what,
we can resolve this
385
00:17:36,785 --> 00:17:38,986
by doing a simple
message check.
386
00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:47,845
Ok. Yes, hi. I'm, uh,
calling in for my message.
387
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,266
Yes, this is Mr. mellencamp.
388
00:17:54,502 --> 00:17:58,472
Oh. No. No, that's ok.
Thank you. Ok. Bye.
389
00:17:58,540 --> 00:18:00,775
Oh, it was just housekeeping
wanting to know
390
00:18:00,842 --> 00:18:02,142
if we needed some more towels.
391
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:04,278
You see? I told you.
Everything's fine.
392
00:18:04,346 --> 00:18:07,148
Whoo! What are you doin'?
393
00:18:07,232 --> 00:18:09,366
I'm checkin' our messages
at home.
394
00:18:09,434 --> 00:18:13,137
Oh, man! My jambalaya
just went down a floor.
395
00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:16,890
Oh.
396
00:18:16,958 --> 00:18:18,191
What? What is it?
397
00:18:18,259 --> 00:18:20,277
Ok, nothing's wrong,
but marcia called.
398
00:18:20,344 --> 00:18:21,745
I can't breathe.
399
00:18:21,813 --> 00:18:23,514
Look, I don't think--
I don't think it's a problem.
400
00:18:23,582 --> 00:18:25,933
But just listen and tell me
what you think.
401
00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:27,268
[Answering machine beeping]
402
00:18:27,335 --> 00:18:29,203
(Marcia)Doug, Carrie, it's marcia.
403
00:18:29,271 --> 00:18:31,905
Could you give me a callwhen you get back?
404
00:18:31,973 --> 00:18:33,507
[Answering machine beeping]
405
00:18:33,575 --> 00:18:35,108
She knows we're here!
406
00:18:36,278 --> 00:18:37,712
I don't think she does.
407
00:18:37,779 --> 00:18:40,180
Hear what she said? "Give us
a call when you get back!"
408
00:18:40,248 --> 00:18:43,351
At the drugstore, she'd say
call us when you're home.
But she said "back."
409
00:18:43,418 --> 00:18:46,937
"Back" can only mean
one thing:
Back from new Orleans!
410
00:18:47,005 --> 00:18:48,739
But nobody knows we're here.
411
00:18:48,807 --> 00:18:51,442
How would she find out? You
think they have spies here?
412
00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:53,827
They might.
They come here all the time.
413
00:18:53,895 --> 00:18:56,564
Ron probably helped half this
town get back on their feet.
414
00:18:56,632 --> 00:18:58,165
They owe him.
415
00:18:58,233 --> 00:19:00,084
Know what? I bet she was
calling about something
416
00:19:00,151 --> 00:19:03,287
totally different. But
I will just call to make sure.
417
00:19:04,722 --> 00:19:05,789
Ok. Ok.
418
00:19:07,642 --> 00:19:08,976
Caller I.D.!
419
00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:14,115
They're gonna see
the new Orleans area code.
420
00:19:14,182 --> 00:19:16,399
Are you sure
they have caller I.D.?
421
00:19:16,668 --> 00:19:18,369
Carrie, they gave us $1,500.
422
00:19:18,436 --> 00:19:21,488
They have luxuries
we can't begin to imagine.
423
00:19:22,457 --> 00:19:24,925
Fine. I will call
from my cell phone.
424
00:19:26,628 --> 00:19:28,795
Oh. No signal.
425
00:19:30,298 --> 00:19:32,400
Hi, marcia.
It's Carrie heffernan.
426
00:19:32,467 --> 00:19:34,135
Yeah,
I just walked in my house.
427
00:19:34,202 --> 00:19:36,787
Whoops! Almost tripped over
one of Doug's socks.
428
00:19:36,789 --> 00:19:38,472
Anyway, you called?
429
00:19:39,274 --> 00:19:40,274
Oh.
430
00:19:40,342 --> 00:19:41,942
[Whispering]
What? What is it?
431
00:19:42,009 --> 00:19:45,079
She just wanted to give me
the number to her cat guy.
432
00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:47,881
Actually, I don't need to take
that number down. It's ok.
433
00:19:47,949 --> 00:19:49,867
Don't--don't be snotty.
Take that number down.
434
00:19:49,934 --> 00:19:52,303
Marcia, I will take the number
down. Let me just get a pen.
435
00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:53,754
Ok, got one. Go ahead.
436
00:19:53,822 --> 00:19:55,506
Get a real pen.
She's gonna know.
437
00:19:55,574 --> 00:19:57,891
Go away. No. Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
438
00:20:05,283 --> 00:20:06,667
Mommy.
439
00:20:06,735 --> 00:20:08,168
♪[Band playing]
440
00:20:25,970 --> 00:20:28,639
Yeah, we had-- we had a pretty
good weekend overall, huh?
441
00:20:28,707 --> 00:20:32,943
I did. Of course,
I wasn't the one
with the nervous bowel.
442
00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:35,112
Sure everything's ok
with Ron and marcia?
443
00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:38,198
Ok, for the 10th time, I had
already hung up my cell phone
444
00:20:38,266 --> 00:20:40,867
when you hurled it
into the mighty Mississippi.
445
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,953
Ok. Just checkin'.
446
00:20:43,021 --> 00:20:45,923
Hey, I always forget. Are you
supposed to tip the maid, or--
447
00:20:45,991 --> 00:20:47,491
yes, honey.
Do you have enough money?
448
00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:50,578
Plenty. I just cashed Ron and
marcia's check this morning.
449
00:20:50,645 --> 00:20:53,264
Wait a minute.
You cashed it here?
450
00:21:03,141 --> 00:21:05,425
This check to Doug and Carrie,
451
00:21:05,493 --> 00:21:08,095
does this say
bank of new Orleans?
452
00:21:10,064 --> 00:21:11,799
I'm calling his mother.
453
00:21:25,447 --> 00:21:27,248
[Doorbell ringing]
454
00:21:32,988 --> 00:21:36,774
Hello. Here is your order.
It's, uh, $14.89.
455
00:21:37,959 --> 00:21:40,677
Oh, this, uh,
little smiley face doodle,
456
00:21:40,745 --> 00:21:42,580
is--is this your work?
457
00:21:42,964 --> 00:21:44,548
Uh, yes.
458
00:21:46,068 --> 00:21:47,101
Draw me a parrot.
34314
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.