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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,592 --> 00:00:11,993 [People chattering on t.V.] 2 00:00:12,061 --> 00:00:13,394 Hey, I'm going to the gym. 3 00:00:13,462 --> 00:00:14,996 You sure you don't want to come? 4 00:00:15,064 --> 00:00:17,565 Hmm. No, but you're adorable to keep asking. 5 00:00:18,617 --> 00:00:20,784 Oh, shoot. I need a towel. 6 00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:24,355 [Sighing] 7 00:00:25,657 --> 00:00:27,892 Aw, come on. 8 00:00:27,959 --> 00:00:30,128 Now, don't do this to me now. Work. 9 00:00:31,497 --> 00:00:32,796 Work. 10 00:00:35,434 --> 00:00:36,867 [Sighing] 11 00:00:58,857 --> 00:01:02,193 Are you seriously stealing my batteries? 12 00:01:04,713 --> 00:01:06,330 Yeah. 13 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,965 So when I got to the gym, 14 00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,501 I'd just find out that my batteries were dead? 15 00:01:10,569 --> 00:01:12,770 Yeah. And I left your walkman on play 16 00:01:12,837 --> 00:01:15,006 so you'd think you did it yourself. 17 00:01:16,225 --> 00:01:18,326 That's just evil. 18 00:01:18,393 --> 00:01:20,311 And you're married to it. 19 00:01:26,001 --> 00:01:27,836 Don't steal my stuff, ok? 20 00:01:27,903 --> 00:01:30,638 By the way, if you could, uh, manage to roll yourself 21 00:01:30,706 --> 00:01:33,140 off the couch, there's a whole drawer 22 00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:35,543 of batteries upstairs in my office. 23 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:45,520 [Sighing] 24 00:01:52,594 --> 00:01:54,928 Hope you can smell smoke, sister. 25 00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:59,050 ♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪ 26 00:01:59,818 --> 00:02:02,353 ♪ my back is gettin' tight 27 00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:04,104 ♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪ 28 00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:07,258 ♪ on the queensborough bridge tonight ♪ 29 00:02:07,326 --> 00:02:10,411 ♪ but I don't care, 'cause all I want to do ♪ 30 00:02:12,864 --> 00:02:16,334 ♪ is cash my check and drive right home to you ♪ 31 00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:20,021 ♪ 'cause, baby, all my life 32 00:02:20,089 --> 00:02:22,924 ♪ I will be drivin' home to you ♪ 33 00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:34,001 Bye, hon. 34 00:02:34,068 --> 00:02:36,036 No time for breakfast. 35 00:02:36,104 --> 00:02:37,721 Not that you're making any. 36 00:02:37,789 --> 00:02:39,656 Wait, wait. Don't go yet. 37 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,642 I got something for you. Wait, wait, wait. 38 00:02:41,793 --> 00:02:43,360 ♪[Salsa music playing] 39 00:02:46,831 --> 00:02:48,131 Come on. 40 00:02:49,584 --> 00:02:50,984 Kitchen sex? 41 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,354 No. It's not sex. 42 00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:56,122 You know what? I really am late. 43 00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:58,625 No! Come on, Doug. I am trying to do something here. 44 00:02:58,693 --> 00:02:59,759 What? Come on. 45 00:02:59,827 --> 00:03:00,961 Come on, come on. 46 00:03:01,028 --> 00:03:02,362 I don't know what I'm doing? 47 00:03:02,429 --> 00:03:04,097 Come on. Gimme a spin. Gimme something. 48 00:03:04,164 --> 00:03:05,765 What am I doing? Shake it! Shake it! 49 00:03:05,833 --> 00:03:07,801 I don't even know what I'm doing. 50 00:03:07,869 --> 00:03:09,002 There you go. 51 00:03:09,069 --> 00:03:10,403 I'm starting to sweat, 52 00:03:10,471 --> 00:03:12,739 and you're not telling me what's going on. 53 00:03:12,807 --> 00:03:15,642 We are doing this to remind you 54 00:03:15,710 --> 00:03:18,211 of our first date, where we went? 55 00:03:18,278 --> 00:03:19,913 To 2nd base? 56 00:03:20,264 --> 00:03:23,050 Salsa dancing. 57 00:03:23,117 --> 00:03:25,852 This weekend is the anniversary of our first date, 58 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,921 and by the way, you didn't get to 2nd base, ok? 59 00:03:27,989 --> 00:03:29,856 You got under sweater, but over bra. 60 00:03:29,924 --> 00:03:32,458 Well, if you'd have told me the clasp was in the front, 61 00:03:32,526 --> 00:03:34,094 I would've got there. 62 00:03:34,162 --> 00:03:36,496 Come on. I made reservations in the city 63 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,364 at this place called El caliente. 64 00:03:38,432 --> 00:03:39,800 They serve you a romantic dinner, 65 00:03:39,867 --> 00:03:41,134 they give you salsa lessons, 66 00:03:41,202 --> 00:03:43,103 the band plays all night. It'll be fun. 67 00:03:43,171 --> 00:03:44,604 Salsa dancing? 68 00:03:44,672 --> 00:03:48,108 That's got "split my pants" written all over it. 69 00:03:48,209 --> 00:03:50,193 Doug, that was a very important night 70 00:03:50,261 --> 00:03:51,594 for our relationship, 71 00:03:51,663 --> 00:03:53,764 and I want to do something special to remember it. 72 00:03:53,831 --> 00:03:55,532 But we never celebrated it before. 73 00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:58,001 I know. But I was reading this magazine, 74 00:03:58,069 --> 00:04:00,570 and don't roll your eyes, 75 00:04:00,638 --> 00:04:03,890 but the article said it's important in a relationship 76 00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:05,858 to have tent poles. 77 00:04:05,926 --> 00:04:07,461 Tent poles? Like in the circus? 78 00:04:07,528 --> 00:04:09,896 No, no. They're like the big moments 79 00:04:09,964 --> 00:04:12,265 that the rest of your relationship is draped on. 80 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:13,900 If you don't have the tent poles, 81 00:04:13,968 --> 00:04:16,035 ♪[humming] Then you have nothing-- stop that! 82 00:04:16,104 --> 00:04:17,571 What? 83 00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:19,706 Will you go salsa dancing with me this weekend? 84 00:04:19,773 --> 00:04:21,874 Ok, all right. God bless. We'll go dancing, huh? 85 00:04:21,942 --> 00:04:23,743 I want you to have tent poles. All right? 86 00:04:23,811 --> 00:04:25,078 Thank you. 87 00:04:25,146 --> 00:04:26,846 Last chance for kitchen sex. 88 00:04:26,914 --> 00:04:28,915 Actually, now I'm late. 89 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,340 Hey, heffernan. 90 00:04:37,408 --> 00:04:39,943 Hey, boss. H-h-how was your, uh, weekend? 91 00:04:40,011 --> 00:04:43,346 My bird died. I had him for 31 years. 92 00:04:43,414 --> 00:04:46,316 Oh! 31 years. That's--that's a good ride. 93 00:04:46,384 --> 00:04:48,084 For a bird. 94 00:04:48,152 --> 00:04:50,353 Had a 300-word vocabulary. 95 00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:53,624 The only words he couldn't say were "I ate glass." 96 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:57,528 Yikes. 97 00:04:57,595 --> 00:04:59,530 So you, uh-- you gonna get another one? 98 00:04:59,597 --> 00:05:01,364 Oh, sure. Just get another one. 99 00:05:01,432 --> 00:05:03,734 They're all the same. Feathers and a beak. 100 00:05:03,801 --> 00:05:06,937 That's all you people see! 101 00:05:07,005 --> 00:05:09,940 I'm sorry. I put him in the ground this morning. 102 00:05:10,008 --> 00:05:12,475 Just get to work. 103 00:05:12,544 --> 00:05:14,945 Hey. Hey. I've been looking for you, man. 104 00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:16,112 What's up, player? 105 00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:18,015 This weekend, I'm throwing a trip together 106 00:05:18,082 --> 00:05:19,249 to Atlantic city. 107 00:05:19,316 --> 00:05:20,684 Really? Yeah. 108 00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:22,318 I--I can't go. I can't do it. 109 00:05:22,386 --> 00:05:24,588 What are you talking about? I got a ton of guys going. 110 00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:27,157 Nick's going. Rico, you're coming on my trip, right? 111 00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:28,525 Sure, you got it, Jack. 112 00:05:28,593 --> 00:05:30,594 It's a.C., man. It's drinking, it's gambling, 113 00:05:30,662 --> 00:05:32,029 it's cheap-ass buffeting. 114 00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:34,898 You don't have to tell me what Atlantic city is, all right? 115 00:05:34,966 --> 00:05:37,351 I dream about it, for God's sakes. I can't do it. 116 00:05:37,418 --> 00:05:39,486 Carrie's got this whole salsa dancing thing planned. 117 00:05:39,553 --> 00:05:40,988 So you can bring her on the trip. 118 00:05:41,055 --> 00:05:42,990 Kelly's coming. Carrie can yap-yap with her, 119 00:05:43,057 --> 00:05:44,891 get her off my case for 5 minutes. 120 00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:46,543 Uh, it's not gonna work. 121 00:05:46,611 --> 00:05:48,177 She's all psyched about this weekend 122 00:05:48,245 --> 00:05:50,313 because it's the anniversary of our first date. 123 00:05:50,381 --> 00:05:51,782 That's a chokehold right there. 124 00:05:51,849 --> 00:05:53,450 Aw, man. There's no trip without you. 125 00:05:53,518 --> 00:05:55,552 You're the straw that stirs the drink, man. 126 00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:57,487 Just let it go, ok? I can't be the straw. 127 00:05:57,555 --> 00:06:00,056 All right. Let me come at this another way, all right? 128 00:06:00,124 --> 00:06:02,592 Atlantic city. 129 00:06:03,728 --> 00:06:04,895 I'm in. 130 00:06:04,962 --> 00:06:06,195 That's my boy. 131 00:06:06,263 --> 00:06:08,164 I just gotta think of a way to tell Carrie. 132 00:06:08,232 --> 00:06:10,266 Why don't you just do what I did and tell her, 133 00:06:10,334 --> 00:06:11,768 "oh, you're going, woman." 134 00:06:11,836 --> 00:06:14,287 Right. I might have to cute that one up a little. 135 00:06:14,355 --> 00:06:15,689 All right. I'm out of here. 136 00:06:15,757 --> 00:06:17,223 All right. 137 00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:18,291 Whew! 138 00:06:19,093 --> 00:06:20,394 So... 139 00:06:21,362 --> 00:06:23,129 Atlantic city, huh? 140 00:06:24,799 --> 00:06:25,965 [Titters] 141 00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:33,323 There she is. 142 00:06:33,390 --> 00:06:34,591 Hey, hon. 143 00:06:34,659 --> 00:06:35,792 Hey. 144 00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,494 What you got going on there? 145 00:06:37,562 --> 00:06:41,197 Your emergency candy bar melted in my purse again. 146 00:06:42,566 --> 00:06:45,719 I love ya, but I just can't do it anymore. 147 00:06:45,786 --> 00:06:47,838 Come on, just 3 more months. 148 00:06:49,573 --> 00:06:52,009 By the way, I bought some new shoes 149 00:06:52,076 --> 00:06:54,244 for El caliente on Saturday. 150 00:06:54,311 --> 00:06:56,146 Very spiky, muy slutty. 151 00:06:57,882 --> 00:07:00,567 Cool. You know I was, uh, I was caught in traffic 152 00:07:00,635 --> 00:07:02,535 and I--I know I was mocking you before, 153 00:07:02,603 --> 00:07:05,004 but I was thinking about this whole tent pole thing. 154 00:07:05,072 --> 00:07:06,172 You were? 155 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,241 Yeah. I think about us sometimes. 156 00:07:08,243 --> 00:07:09,959 Does that shock you? 157 00:07:10,661 --> 00:07:12,228 Somewhat. 158 00:07:12,296 --> 00:07:15,464 Anyway, uh, we're building the poles of our relationship, 159 00:07:15,532 --> 00:07:18,835 and I was just wondering is one night at El caliente, 160 00:07:18,903 --> 00:07:21,805 which, by the way, means the caliente... 161 00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:25,675 Really enough? 162 00:07:25,743 --> 00:07:27,144 What do you mean? 163 00:07:27,211 --> 00:07:29,713 I just think we should do something really special here. 164 00:07:29,781 --> 00:07:31,614 Maybe like a weekend sort of thing. 165 00:07:31,683 --> 00:07:34,017 Something that we can drive to that's not too far, 166 00:07:34,085 --> 00:07:36,252 like Atlantic city or something? 167 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,489 Are you saying you want to go on the trip with Deacon? 168 00:07:43,911 --> 00:07:46,145 I'm sorry. Who-con? 169 00:07:46,313 --> 00:07:48,598 I'm best friends with his wife, you moron. 170 00:07:48,666 --> 00:07:50,700 We had lunch today. 171 00:07:50,768 --> 00:07:52,702 Didn't think that one through. 172 00:07:52,770 --> 00:07:54,504 Ok, look, I'm sorry, but I... 173 00:07:54,572 --> 00:07:55,972 I honestly think Atlantic city 174 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,008 could be a great tent pole for us, too. 175 00:07:58,075 --> 00:07:59,910 How? You play Blackjack all day, 176 00:07:59,977 --> 00:08:02,696 and then I watch you actually eat all you can eat? 177 00:08:02,763 --> 00:08:05,198 We'll do all the things that you want to do. 178 00:08:05,265 --> 00:08:07,000 We'll have a romantic dinner, 179 00:08:07,067 --> 00:08:09,435 we'll go dancing, we'll walk on the boardwalk, 180 00:08:09,504 --> 00:08:11,571 and you can get a nice massage at the spa 181 00:08:11,639 --> 00:08:13,206 and I can do a little gambling. 182 00:08:13,273 --> 00:08:15,174 I mean, it'll be a great weekend 183 00:08:15,242 --> 00:08:16,859 'cause we'll both be happy. 184 00:08:16,978 --> 00:08:19,879 And isn't that what tent pole really means? 185 00:08:21,649 --> 00:08:23,983 No, not really. But you sold me. 186 00:08:24,051 --> 00:08:25,718 Ok. We can go. 187 00:08:25,786 --> 00:08:27,620 Thank you. Welcome. 188 00:08:27,688 --> 00:08:28,854 All right. 189 00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:31,824 [Phone ringing] 190 00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:35,111 Hello? 191 00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:37,213 The straw is in the drink. 192 00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,917 What? Who is this? 193 00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:45,338 It's Doug, you idiot. I'm in. I got her onboard. 194 00:08:45,406 --> 00:08:46,406 Cool. 195 00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:47,574 Is that Deacon? 196 00:08:47,642 --> 00:08:48,841 Uh, yeah. 197 00:08:48,909 --> 00:08:50,777 Ask him if Kelly's bringing her workout clothes. 198 00:08:50,844 --> 00:08:53,180 Carrie wants to know if Kelly's bringing her workout stuff. 199 00:08:53,247 --> 00:08:54,481 H-hold on. 200 00:08:54,549 --> 00:08:56,483 Kel, you bringing your workout stuff? 201 00:08:56,551 --> 00:08:59,770 (Kelly) I don't know what I'm doing about anything anymore. 202 00:09:01,789 --> 00:09:03,689 Undecided. 203 00:09:03,757 --> 00:09:05,224 She's not sure. 204 00:09:05,292 --> 00:09:06,426 Ok. 205 00:09:06,494 --> 00:09:08,728 All right. Well, I guess the next time I'll see you, 206 00:09:08,796 --> 00:09:10,930 I'll be in your vodka tonic. 207 00:09:10,998 --> 00:09:12,065 What? 208 00:09:13,918 --> 00:09:15,885 I'm the straw. 209 00:09:15,953 --> 00:09:17,404 I gotta go. 210 00:09:18,155 --> 00:09:19,539 A-all righty. 211 00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:29,966 [People chattering] 212 00:09:34,972 --> 00:09:37,941 Gotta tell ya, I am liking this whole Egyptian thing. 213 00:09:38,009 --> 00:09:40,777 How much did you tip the mummy back there? 214 00:09:41,512 --> 00:09:42,979 I gave him a dollar. 215 00:09:43,047 --> 00:09:44,180 Doug. 216 00:09:44,248 --> 00:09:46,249 Well, he did nothing. He opened the car door 217 00:09:46,316 --> 00:09:48,284 and then he checked out my buns. 218 00:09:49,486 --> 00:09:51,004 He should be tipping me. 219 00:09:51,071 --> 00:09:52,138 Oh. 220 00:09:52,206 --> 00:09:54,240 Have you seen anybody else yet? 221 00:09:54,308 --> 00:09:55,408 No. 222 00:09:55,475 --> 00:09:57,627 Uh, hi. I can help you over here. 223 00:09:57,695 --> 00:09:59,028 Oh. Hi. Hi. 224 00:09:59,096 --> 00:10:00,596 Checking in. Heffernan. 225 00:10:00,664 --> 00:10:02,031 Heffernan... 226 00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:03,699 Doug and Carrie. I have you right here, 227 00:10:03,767 --> 00:10:06,269 and we've got a very nice room on the 14th floor for you. 228 00:10:06,337 --> 00:10:07,820 Oh. Great. Um, by the way, 229 00:10:07,888 --> 00:10:10,223 what's your most romantic restaurant here? 230 00:10:10,291 --> 00:10:12,792 Uh, that would be queen nefertiti's. 231 00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:14,577 Nefertiti's? 232 00:10:16,814 --> 00:10:20,316 Should be, like, the name of a strip club, huh? 233 00:10:20,384 --> 00:10:22,986 Check out her titis. 234 00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:25,421 Here are your hotel keys and, uh... 235 00:10:25,489 --> 00:10:26,822 Oh, we have a message. 236 00:10:26,891 --> 00:10:30,109 Um, "tried to call you at home. Something came up. 237 00:10:30,177 --> 00:10:32,745 "Trip's off, but you two have a kick-ass time. 238 00:10:32,813 --> 00:10:34,097 Deacon." 239 00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:36,566 Huh? Deacon canceled? What's that about? 240 00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:39,835 I don't know. He said something came up. 241 00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:43,039 Actually, this--this could be kind of nice, 242 00:10:43,107 --> 00:10:45,542 just the two of us. 243 00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:48,778 Hey, heffernan. You made it. Thank God. 244 00:10:48,845 --> 00:10:51,013 I thought it was gonna be just me. 245 00:11:02,591 --> 00:11:05,093 By the way, honey, you look beautiful tonight. 246 00:11:05,161 --> 00:11:06,978 Y-you really do. You look great. 247 00:11:07,046 --> 00:11:09,164 Thank you, Doug. 248 00:11:09,232 --> 00:11:11,533 Yeah, she does. She really does. 249 00:11:13,102 --> 00:11:15,404 Thank you, Mr. O'Boyle. 250 00:11:15,471 --> 00:11:17,472 Hi. I'm Pam. I'll be your waitress. 251 00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:19,942 Could I get you folks started with something from the bar? 252 00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:22,044 Definitely. I'll have a glass of chardonnay, please. 253 00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:23,345 Yeah. I'll take a Heineken. 254 00:11:23,413 --> 00:11:25,747 Nothing for me. I'm a recovering alcoholic. 255 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,516 Ok. 256 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:29,051 Recovering alcoholic. 257 00:11:29,119 --> 00:11:30,903 I guess we'll just have to have our fun 258 00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:32,087 at the Blackjack tables. 259 00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:33,222 I don't gamble, Doug. 260 00:11:33,289 --> 00:11:34,706 You don't gamble. 261 00:11:34,774 --> 00:11:37,659 Nope. Not unless I want to lose another house and family. 262 00:11:37,727 --> 00:11:39,028 [Chuckling] 263 00:11:42,615 --> 00:11:44,483 Ah, you know what? 264 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:46,418 You kids, you don't need the boss here to bring you down. 265 00:11:46,486 --> 00:11:48,487 Maybe I should just shoot a cup of coffee 266 00:11:48,554 --> 00:11:50,088 and drive back to the city. 267 00:11:50,156 --> 00:11:51,773 You want me to go? 268 00:11:55,444 --> 00:11:57,062 No. No. No, no, no. 269 00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:58,847 We want you to stay right here with us? 270 00:11:58,914 --> 00:12:00,381 What, are you kidding me? 271 00:12:00,449 --> 00:12:02,985 Well, ok, then. What the hell? I'll stay. 272 00:12:03,653 --> 00:12:04,870 Super. 273 00:12:04,937 --> 00:12:08,056 Hey, I saw a rack full of brochures in the lobby 274 00:12:08,124 --> 00:12:10,759 with lots of fun things to do without dice or booze 275 00:12:10,827 --> 00:12:13,662 here in Atlantic city. I'll go check 'em out. Don't go anywhere. 276 00:12:13,730 --> 00:12:14,830 Oh, we won't. 277 00:12:14,897 --> 00:12:16,198 [Chuckling] 278 00:12:17,567 --> 00:12:18,900 He wanted to leave. 279 00:12:18,968 --> 00:12:20,636 No, he did not. He was just saying that. 280 00:12:20,703 --> 00:12:22,153 Ok, little tip, Doug. 281 00:12:22,221 --> 00:12:24,556 When a weird and boring guy offers to leave, 282 00:12:24,624 --> 00:12:27,075 you say, "drive safely." 283 00:12:27,143 --> 00:12:29,594 He's my boss. He can make things very bad for me. 284 00:12:29,662 --> 00:12:30,929 Oh, and I can't? 285 00:12:30,996 --> 00:12:34,900 I can make it bad for you in ways he's never dreamed of. 286 00:12:34,967 --> 00:12:36,785 Why do you gotta go there? 287 00:12:36,787 --> 00:12:38,403 Another thing, Doug. Do you know what? 288 00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:40,672 If we would have done what I wanted to do tonight, 289 00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:42,941 you would be eating a Brazilian steak right now, 290 00:12:43,008 --> 00:12:45,360 getting ready to rub up against me on the dance floor. 291 00:12:45,427 --> 00:12:46,962 Instead, we're eating with a man 292 00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:49,597 who keeps a feather from his dead bird in his wallet. 293 00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:50,932 He's grieving, ok? 294 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,467 And this isn't my fault. It's Deacon. 295 00:12:52,535 --> 00:12:54,669 He's the one who wanted me to come down here. 296 00:12:54,737 --> 00:12:57,122 What the heck is going on with him? 297 00:12:57,189 --> 00:12:59,741 [Phone ringing] 298 00:12:59,809 --> 00:13:02,744 (Deacon) Hi. You've reached Deacon, Kelly, Kirby, and major. 299 00:13:02,811 --> 00:13:05,397 We're not home, so leave a message at the beep. 300 00:13:05,415 --> 00:13:06,715 [Beeping] 301 00:13:06,783 --> 00:13:09,918 Hey, deac, I-it's Doug. Little question for ya, buddy: 302 00:13:09,986 --> 00:13:11,837 Where the hell are you? 303 00:13:11,905 --> 00:13:14,490 You know where I am? I'm in a.C. 304 00:13:14,492 --> 00:13:16,875 (Doug) Remember you said I'm the straw that stirs the drink? 305 00:13:16,943 --> 00:13:19,210 Well, guess what's getting sucked through me right now? 306 00:13:19,278 --> 00:13:20,479 O'Boyle. 307 00:13:21,915 --> 00:13:23,715 The point is, this was your trip. 308 00:13:23,783 --> 00:13:26,184 N-now, come on. Get in the car and get down here. 309 00:13:26,252 --> 00:13:27,319 I'm dying. 310 00:13:27,386 --> 00:13:28,437 [Beeping] 311 00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:36,411 Did I tell you we could have a good time 312 00:13:36,478 --> 00:13:38,013 without gambling or what? 313 00:13:38,081 --> 00:13:39,915 Yeah. How about that, 314 00:13:39,982 --> 00:13:43,185 uh, Ripley's believe it or not museum, huh? 315 00:13:43,252 --> 00:13:45,320 You know what I couldn't believe? 316 00:13:45,387 --> 00:13:48,489 The condition of the women's restroom. 317 00:13:48,557 --> 00:13:51,359 Hey, let me buy the two of you a thank-you drink. 318 00:13:51,427 --> 00:13:53,161 Oh, you know, we're ok. 319 00:13:53,229 --> 00:13:55,296 No, no. You two paid for the rickshaw, right? 320 00:13:55,364 --> 00:13:56,698 I want to do this. Come on. 321 00:13:56,766 --> 00:13:58,633 I promise this is the last thing. 322 00:13:58,701 --> 00:14:01,803 Doug, I am ready to run out into the sea. 323 00:14:01,871 --> 00:14:03,471 Look, we're at the finish line. 324 00:14:03,539 --> 00:14:05,573 You've been a champ. Just one drink. 325 00:14:05,641 --> 00:14:06,775 [Grunting] 326 00:14:15,351 --> 00:14:17,619 So, here we are 327 00:14:18,455 --> 00:14:19,821 7 hours later. 328 00:14:25,928 --> 00:14:27,996 Wow. Look at that. 329 00:14:29,432 --> 00:14:31,400 I used to love to dance. 330 00:14:36,172 --> 00:14:37,405 Did you, now? 331 00:14:38,441 --> 00:14:40,142 Carrie, I'm a little bit rusty, 332 00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:41,943 but would you do me the pleasure? 333 00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:44,229 You know what? Uh... 334 00:14:44,296 --> 00:14:45,964 That sounds great. 335 00:14:49,402 --> 00:14:50,769 Oh, I'm sorry, Doug. 336 00:14:50,837 --> 00:14:53,505 Do you mind if I dance with your freako boss 337 00:14:53,573 --> 00:14:56,107 on the anniversary of our first date? 338 00:14:57,961 --> 00:14:59,428 If you wanna. 339 00:15:12,575 --> 00:15:13,942 [Inaudible] 340 00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:19,781 Hey, yo, Doug! There you are! 341 00:15:19,849 --> 00:15:22,116 Hey, buddy, you made it! Hey, deac's here! 342 00:15:22,184 --> 00:15:23,719 Hey, deac! Where-- where's Kelly? 343 00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:25,420 Huh? Your wife. Kelly. 344 00:15:25,488 --> 00:15:27,255 Oh, she left me. 345 00:15:27,323 --> 00:15:28,890 She took her clothes and the kids 346 00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:30,492 and just, uh, skedaddled. 347 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,227 All right. Point me to the $100 tables, 348 00:15:32,294 --> 00:15:34,629 and let's get this party wagon rolling. 349 00:15:34,697 --> 00:15:35,797 Whoo! 350 00:15:36,966 --> 00:15:38,567 My God. 351 00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:40,902 I can't believe Kelly left him. 352 00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:42,971 I'm still getting over a black guy 353 00:15:43,038 --> 00:15:44,773 using the word "skedaddled." 354 00:15:45,541 --> 00:15:46,574 Doug. 355 00:15:46,642 --> 00:15:48,043 Look, you-- you're her best friend. 356 00:15:48,110 --> 00:15:50,278 You just had lunch with her. Didn't she say anything? 357 00:15:50,346 --> 00:15:51,847 No, nothing. Go--go talk to him. 358 00:15:51,914 --> 00:15:53,381 All right. 359 00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:54,700 All right. Change me, baby. 360 00:15:54,767 --> 00:15:55,968 Hey, deac. 361 00:15:56,035 --> 00:15:57,703 I'm gonna make this table beg for mercy. 362 00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:58,870 Come on, yo! 11! 363 00:15:58,938 --> 00:16:01,206 Listen, guy, I--I know you're-- whoa. 364 00:16:01,273 --> 00:16:03,108 Those chips you're betting are $25 each. 365 00:16:03,175 --> 00:16:04,376 Oh. So, let's double 'em. 366 00:16:04,444 --> 00:16:05,593 Got a new shooter. 367 00:16:05,661 --> 00:16:07,929 You want to jump onboard? I'm feelin' lucky tonight. 368 00:16:07,997 --> 00:16:10,031 No. Look, bro. We can go talk and get a beer-- 369 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,334 not until I win a big bag of money. Now come on! 370 00:16:12,336 --> 00:16:14,469 Papa needs a whole new family! 371 00:16:14,537 --> 00:16:15,720 9. 9 is the point. 372 00:16:15,788 --> 00:16:17,889 Easy point. 9 will be fine. 373 00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:20,224 I understand what's going on, but you gotta talk to me. 374 00:16:20,292 --> 00:16:21,726 (Croupier) 9. Winner. Whoo! 375 00:16:21,794 --> 00:16:23,862 Well, maybe I'll just piggy-back on you here. 376 00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:26,582 You know, Palmer, I know what you're going through. 377 00:16:26,649 --> 00:16:28,983 If you want to talk to somebody, you can come to me. 378 00:16:29,051 --> 00:16:30,385 Uh, sir, are you playing? 379 00:16:30,453 --> 00:16:31,553 Just 100. 380 00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:33,154 All right, we got the boss onboard. 381 00:16:33,222 --> 00:16:35,290 Let's win one for the big man. Come on! 382 00:16:35,357 --> 00:16:36,157 Yo! 11! 383 00:16:36,309 --> 00:16:38,075 Yes! That's what I'm talking about. 384 00:16:38,143 --> 00:16:40,011 All right. Keep it moving. Keep it moving. 385 00:16:40,078 --> 00:16:41,145 Keep it moving. 386 00:16:41,213 --> 00:16:42,747 6. The point is 6. 387 00:16:42,815 --> 00:16:45,850 All right. 6. Pickin' up sticks. 388 00:16:45,918 --> 00:16:48,052 5. 5. We're still alive. 389 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,220 What is going on? 390 00:16:49,288 --> 00:16:50,322 We need a 6. 391 00:16:50,389 --> 00:16:51,923 Doug! 392 00:16:51,991 --> 00:16:52,891 7 up. 393 00:16:52,959 --> 00:16:54,025 [Sighing] 394 00:16:54,093 --> 00:16:55,861 Nice job, jinxy. 395 00:16:55,928 --> 00:16:57,762 New shooter. 396 00:16:57,830 --> 00:16:59,965 I-I-I-I'm gonna hit the slots. 397 00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:04,135 7. Yeah! Huh! 398 00:17:04,203 --> 00:17:05,770 Who do you have to boff 399 00:17:05,838 --> 00:17:08,406 to get a whiskey sour around here, huh? 400 00:17:10,809 --> 00:17:12,110 Hey, deac, hold up. 401 00:17:12,178 --> 00:17:14,079 Stop and tell us what's going on. 402 00:17:14,146 --> 00:17:16,014 I already told you. Kelly left me. 403 00:17:16,082 --> 00:17:17,115 She took the kids 404 00:17:17,183 --> 00:17:19,200 and went to her mother's in new brunswick. 405 00:17:19,268 --> 00:17:20,802 Well, did you, like, have any idea 406 00:17:20,869 --> 00:17:22,036 that this was gonna happen? 407 00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:23,571 No. I knew we were having problems, 408 00:17:23,639 --> 00:17:25,072 but I didn't think it was this bad. 409 00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,008 I thought you guys were working things out. 410 00:17:27,075 --> 00:17:28,376 I don't know. 411 00:17:28,444 --> 00:17:30,211 We got into this huge fight yesterday, 412 00:17:30,279 --> 00:17:32,681 and she started talking about how she married too young, 413 00:17:32,748 --> 00:17:34,816 how--how our whole relationship just wasn't right, 414 00:17:34,883 --> 00:17:36,585 how we didn't have any tent poles. 415 00:17:36,653 --> 00:17:37,802 I mean, tent pole. 416 00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:40,271 What the hell does that even mean? 417 00:17:40,339 --> 00:17:41,505 [Sighing] 418 00:17:48,547 --> 00:17:49,631 What? 419 00:17:49,698 --> 00:17:51,799 You told Kelly to get tent poles? 420 00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:54,019 I mentioned the article to her. 421 00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:56,454 I didn't know she was thinking about leaving Deacon. 422 00:17:56,522 --> 00:17:58,456 Maybe she wasn't till you got a hold of her. 423 00:17:58,524 --> 00:17:59,690 Oh, that's-- you heard him. 424 00:17:59,758 --> 00:18:01,326 They were having problems anyway. 425 00:18:01,394 --> 00:18:02,660 Only problem is you going... 426 00:18:02,728 --> 00:18:03,761 [Babbling] 427 00:18:03,829 --> 00:18:05,496 Tent pole. Would you stop? 428 00:18:05,564 --> 00:18:07,198 I could tell Deacon right now, 429 00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:08,866 and he wouldn't blame me at all. 430 00:18:08,935 --> 00:18:10,168 Oh, really? No. 431 00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:11,636 Well, then why don't ya? 432 00:18:11,703 --> 00:18:13,004 Ok, fine. I'm going. 433 00:18:13,071 --> 00:18:14,071 Ok. 434 00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:20,945 Oh! Spank me with a shovel. 435 00:18:22,882 --> 00:18:24,181 Hey, deac. 436 00:18:25,183 --> 00:18:26,250 Hey. 437 00:18:27,352 --> 00:18:29,287 Hey, you know what drives me crazy? 438 00:18:29,354 --> 00:18:31,523 Those old women who play, like, 5 machines at once. 439 00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:34,592 I say, "back it off, granny. Give us kids a chance." 440 00:18:36,595 --> 00:18:37,929 [Clearing throat] 441 00:18:37,996 --> 00:18:40,965 Anyway, you, uh-- you said that Kelly mentioned something 442 00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:43,735 about tents or tent poles. 443 00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:46,103 Funny thing. 444 00:18:46,171 --> 00:18:49,741 Um, I had lunch with Kelly last week. 445 00:18:49,809 --> 00:18:52,777 We were just gabbing away about shoes and recipes. 446 00:18:52,845 --> 00:18:55,663 You know, girl stuff. 447 00:18:55,731 --> 00:18:59,050 Anyhow, um, she seemed like she could use some perkin' up, 448 00:18:59,118 --> 00:19:02,453 so I--I may have said just in passing 449 00:19:02,521 --> 00:19:06,274 that it was important to have, um, tent poles. 450 00:19:08,745 --> 00:19:12,080 But then, we--we got back to the shoe thing, you know? 451 00:19:12,148 --> 00:19:14,666 Oh, it turns out we both need clogs. 452 00:19:16,035 --> 00:19:17,869 She got that crap from you? 453 00:19:17,936 --> 00:19:19,070 She may have. 454 00:19:19,138 --> 00:19:20,738 Well, what did you tell her that for? 455 00:19:20,806 --> 00:19:22,541 Hey, come on. It's not her fault. 456 00:19:22,608 --> 00:19:23,741 I know. 457 00:19:23,809 --> 00:19:25,310 It's just... 458 00:19:30,015 --> 00:19:32,450 It's gonna be ok, buddy. We love you. 459 00:19:32,518 --> 00:19:35,620 Yeah. We're gonna get you through this. 460 00:19:35,655 --> 00:19:37,389 We're here for you. 461 00:19:40,542 --> 00:19:41,977 [Slot machine buzzing] 462 00:19:42,028 --> 00:19:45,379 Oh, we have a $1,500 winner! 463 00:19:45,448 --> 00:19:47,482 Congratulations. 464 00:19:48,417 --> 00:19:50,251 Ok. 100, 465 00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:53,254 200, 300... 466 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,056 We're still here for you. Just a second. 467 00:19:55,123 --> 00:19:56,324 ...400, 500... 468 00:19:56,391 --> 00:19:58,225 Hey, smile for the camera. 469 00:19:58,293 --> 00:20:02,897 ...700, 800, 900, 1,000, 470 00:20:02,965 --> 00:20:04,632 1,100, 1,200... 471 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:05,800 Yeah! 472 00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:08,069 ...1,500. 473 00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:13,825 I gotta be honest. 474 00:20:13,893 --> 00:20:15,493 I think we found a lot of tent poles. 475 00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:16,961 I mean, hey, nefertiti's, 476 00:20:17,029 --> 00:20:18,430 an unbelievable Caesar salad. 477 00:20:18,497 --> 00:20:21,733 I didn't expect that. Did you? I didn't. It was incredible. 478 00:20:21,801 --> 00:20:24,335 I didn't even know what they made their croutons out of, 479 00:20:24,403 --> 00:20:26,137 but they were incredible. Unbelievable. 480 00:20:26,204 --> 00:20:27,906 And not only that, I think next year, 481 00:20:27,973 --> 00:20:30,207 you know what we should do? We should try Vegas. 482 00:20:30,275 --> 00:20:32,477 We'll find so many tent poles. 483 00:20:32,545 --> 00:20:34,078 Wow. I don't think my boss' ass 484 00:20:34,146 --> 00:20:36,481 has ever been quite this close to my face. 485 00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:38,249 You know what that means, my friend? 486 00:20:38,317 --> 00:20:39,951 Another tent pole. 487 00:20:40,018 --> 00:20:43,020 Hey, do I have to tip the mummy again on the way out? 34453