Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:13,845
Doug!
2
00:00:14,713 --> 00:00:15,914
I'm here. I'm ready.
3
00:00:15,981 --> 00:00:17,015
Where's the blanket?
4
00:00:17,082 --> 00:00:18,549
What?
5
00:00:18,617 --> 00:00:20,768
I just yelled up for you
to bring down a blanket.
6
00:00:20,836 --> 00:00:22,303
Oh, I couldn't
understand you,
7
00:00:22,371 --> 00:00:23,621
but whatever you wanted,
8
00:00:23,688 --> 00:00:25,723
I was just hoping
it would blow over.
9
00:00:25,791 --> 00:00:26,991
Well, it hasn't.
10
00:00:27,059 --> 00:00:28,993
We are seeing
a movie in the park,
11
00:00:29,061 --> 00:00:31,128
and I would prefer
a layer of protection
12
00:00:31,196 --> 00:00:35,099
between me and whatever
the police horse just left.
13
00:00:35,167 --> 00:00:36,334
Oh, it's not bad enough
14
00:00:36,401 --> 00:00:38,369
going out with Spence
and his new girlfriend,
15
00:00:38,437 --> 00:00:40,137
we gotta go see
a movie in a park?
16
00:00:40,205 --> 00:00:42,874
Doug, I think it's great that
he finally has a date.
17
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:44,576
Come on.
You have to be supportive.
18
00:00:44,643 --> 00:00:45,944
He is your friend.
19
00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:47,979
Yeah, but he's, he's not
a double-date friend.
20
00:00:48,046 --> 00:00:49,547
He's, he's the 3rd wheel.
21
00:00:49,615 --> 00:00:51,533
He's the one
who watches the coats
22
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,702
when the rest of us
are out dancing.
23
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,371
Well, tonight he has a date,
24
00:00:56,439 --> 00:00:58,155
and we have to leave
in 5 minutes.
25
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:02,393
So you, uh, still on
this blanket kick or--
26
00:01:02,461 --> 00:01:03,862
yes! Go!
27
00:01:05,297 --> 00:01:06,798
[Microwave oven beeping]
28
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:08,983
Dad, your dinner's ready!
29
00:01:09,051 --> 00:01:11,018
Great. I worked up
quite an appetite
30
00:01:11,086 --> 00:01:13,020
at my
"movement to music" class.
31
00:01:14,189 --> 00:01:16,591
Bring on the vittles.
32
00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,460
Here you go.
33
00:01:18,527 --> 00:01:21,228
A meal in a tray.
Thank you, stewardess.
34
00:01:21,296 --> 00:01:22,797
When do we land?
35
00:01:23,432 --> 00:01:24,632
I'm sorry, dad.
36
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:26,701
I didn't have time to make you
a whole thing.
37
00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:27,869
Probably for the best,
38
00:01:27,937 --> 00:01:30,805
based on last night's
pink-chicken scare.
39
00:01:35,744 --> 00:01:37,044
What are you doing?
40
00:01:37,112 --> 00:01:39,113
What?
You wanted a blanket.
41
00:01:39,181 --> 00:01:41,933
That is the comforter
from our bed.
42
00:01:43,802 --> 00:01:46,671
Why do you always
give me jobs where
you know I'm gonna fail?
43
00:01:49,124 --> 00:01:50,858
So what movie we seein',
anyway?
44
00:01:50,926 --> 00:01:52,126
Casablanca.
45
00:01:52,194 --> 00:01:53,594
Oh, a black and white movie?
46
00:01:53,662 --> 00:01:54,728
It's a great movie.
47
00:01:54,796 --> 00:01:56,097
Dad, back me up here.
48
00:01:56,165 --> 00:01:57,265
Casablanca?
49
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,649
Never saw it.
50
00:01:59,751 --> 00:02:01,268
You must have.
51
00:02:01,337 --> 00:02:03,003
Humphrey bogart owns a cafe.
52
00:02:03,071 --> 00:02:04,672
Ingrid bergman
walks back into--
53
00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:05,873
don't ruin it for me!
54
00:02:05,941 --> 00:02:09,811
LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!
55
00:02:09,878 --> 00:02:12,413
(Bogart)I'm sorry I wasin no condition to receive you
56
00:02:12,481 --> 00:02:13,898
when you calledon me last night.
57
00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:15,934
(Bergman)It doesn't matter.
58
00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:17,635
What is the matter with you?
59
00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:19,253
I gotta keep shifting.
60
00:02:19,354 --> 00:02:21,222
My ass is so asleep,
it's dreaming.
61
00:02:24,293 --> 00:02:25,493
Isn't this cool?
62
00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:27,995
You got bogart,
great outdoors,
63
00:02:28,063 --> 00:02:30,565
and this pretty lady.
64
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,433
[Giggling]
Isn't he cute?
65
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:33,635
He is.
66
00:02:35,988 --> 00:02:38,806
Yeah, he's like a little
bobble-head doll of himself.
67
00:02:40,175 --> 00:02:42,142
Hey, anybody hungry?
I made some stuff.
68
00:02:43,144 --> 00:02:46,180
Uh... mango spring rolls.
69
00:02:46,248 --> 00:02:47,281
Mmm-hmm.
70
00:02:47,349 --> 00:02:49,750
And cider-basted spare ribs
71
00:02:49,818 --> 00:02:51,219
there you go.
72
00:02:51,287 --> 00:02:53,020
(Spence)
Wow, Becky, you made all this
for the movie?
73
00:02:53,088 --> 00:02:54,189
Oh, it was no trouble.
74
00:02:54,256 --> 00:02:56,591
You put me to shame.
All I have is a cloret
75
00:02:56,659 --> 00:02:58,660
and some old
birth-control pills.
76
00:03:00,028 --> 00:03:01,629
Mangia.
77
00:03:01,697 --> 00:03:03,864
Oh, don't worry. I go to
the culinary institute,
78
00:03:03,932 --> 00:03:06,301
so this is a project for
one of my classes.
79
00:03:06,368 --> 00:03:08,102
Well, feel free to
tell the teacher
80
00:03:08,170 --> 00:03:10,037
the Doug ate your homework.
81
00:03:16,327 --> 00:03:17,862
Oh, what is this?
82
00:03:17,929 --> 00:03:20,097
Oh, it's a shrimp-
and-chive quesadilla,
83
00:03:20,165 --> 00:03:22,733
with salsa-and-
chili sour cream.
84
00:03:23,869 --> 00:03:25,069
Really?
85
00:03:27,422 --> 00:03:28,623
You like it?
86
00:03:28,691 --> 00:03:30,291
Like it?
I got a chunk in my teeth,
87
00:03:30,358 --> 00:03:32,026
I'm saving
for the ride home.
88
00:03:33,228 --> 00:03:36,030
Really? You're so nice.
89
00:03:36,098 --> 00:03:37,431
[Laughing]
90
00:03:39,284 --> 00:03:41,051
Why are you
picking out the chives?
91
00:03:41,119 --> 00:03:43,621
Because they aggravate
my patamkin-Reese syndrome.
92
00:03:44,623 --> 00:03:45,756
(Doug)
Mmm!
93
00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:47,191
What? What? What? What?
94
00:03:47,258 --> 00:03:49,259
What are these
crispy nuggets,
95
00:03:49,327 --> 00:03:51,596
and why aren't they
in every vending machine
across the country?
96
00:03:51,663 --> 00:03:53,464
Here. Try them with
the dipping sauces.
97
00:03:53,532 --> 00:03:54,732
What have you got?
98
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,952
I got honey-mustard
and, don't laugh, chocolate.
99
00:03:58,019 --> 00:04:00,220
Don't you laugh when I dip
one nugget in both.
100
00:04:00,372 --> 00:04:01,705
[Laughing]
101
00:04:22,292 --> 00:04:24,660
Oh, you got Casablanca!
102
00:04:24,728 --> 00:04:26,528
It's marvelous.
103
00:04:26,596 --> 00:04:30,316
Bogart chooses
the greater good over
his own desires.
104
00:04:30,383 --> 00:04:31,851
Quite an uplifting message.
105
00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:34,186
I know. It's a classic.
106
00:04:34,254 --> 00:04:36,572
Personally, I would have
turned the other guy in,
107
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,924
taken Ingrid bergman
back to the hotel,
108
00:04:38,992 --> 00:04:41,544
and rounded up her
"usual suspects,"
109
00:04:41,611 --> 00:04:43,579
if you know what I mean.
110
00:04:44,698 --> 00:04:45,982
I do,
111
00:04:46,049 --> 00:04:48,818
which is why I just
brought up a little muffin.
112
00:04:48,886 --> 00:04:50,853
Actually, while I was
at the video store,
113
00:04:50,921 --> 00:04:52,388
another box caught my eye.
114
00:04:52,455 --> 00:04:54,757
Some kind of
a holiday picture.
115
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:58,728
It's a wonderful life?
116
00:04:58,795 --> 00:04:59,996
Who knows?
117
00:05:00,063 --> 00:05:02,331
Maybe I discovered
a hidden gem.
118
00:05:02,399 --> 00:05:03,833
Keep me posted.
119
00:05:07,437 --> 00:05:08,470
Hey, honey.
120
00:05:08,539 --> 00:05:11,040
Hi. You want to
order some takeout?
121
00:05:11,107 --> 00:05:12,542
Nah, I'm not really hungry.
122
00:05:12,609 --> 00:05:15,011
Seriously. Where do you
want to order from?
123
00:05:15,078 --> 00:05:17,212
Nah, I'm not hungry.
I was over at Spence's,
124
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,015
and Becky made me
these incredible
125
00:05:19,082 --> 00:05:20,650
grilled scallops with bacon.
126
00:05:20,717 --> 00:05:21,951
Bacon!
127
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,455
Why didn't you tell me
you were having
dinner over there?
128
00:05:26,523 --> 00:05:27,523
I've been waiting.
129
00:05:27,591 --> 00:05:28,841
I wasn't planning on it.
130
00:05:28,909 --> 00:05:30,610
I stopped by, and she
asked me my opinion
131
00:05:30,677 --> 00:05:32,077
on a few of her recipes.
132
00:05:32,145 --> 00:05:34,113
I actually brought
a couple scallops for you,
133
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:36,665
but there's a very long light
at northern boulevard,
134
00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:39,085
and they went away.
135
00:05:39,153 --> 00:05:41,587
Well, you took 'em as far
as you could, hon'.
136
00:05:41,655 --> 00:05:44,523
Get this. She asked me if I'd
do this for her,
like, twice a week.
137
00:05:44,591 --> 00:05:45,608
What do you mean?
138
00:05:45,675 --> 00:05:46,775
Like, go over there
and eat?
139
00:05:46,843 --> 00:05:47,843
Yeah.
140
00:05:47,911 --> 00:05:51,114
Well, why can't Spence
just help her?
141
00:05:51,181 --> 00:05:52,598
'Cause he's allergic
to everything.
142
00:05:52,666 --> 00:05:54,216
The guy's, like,
one sesame seed away
143
00:05:54,284 --> 00:05:56,386
from living in
a plastic bubble.
144
00:05:59,423 --> 00:06:02,024
Ok, well, if that's
what you wanna do.
145
00:06:02,092 --> 00:06:03,593
What? Wh-what's the matter?
146
00:06:03,661 --> 00:06:05,778
I just don't think with
your 4-digit cholesterol
147
00:06:05,845 --> 00:06:09,382
that eating professionally
is the best move
for you right now.
148
00:06:09,449 --> 00:06:10,616
Come on, car'.
149
00:06:10,684 --> 00:06:11,784
I'm serious.
150
00:06:11,851 --> 00:06:12,918
So am I.
151
00:06:12,986 --> 00:06:15,120
Look, I've eaten
a lot of food in my day,
152
00:06:15,189 --> 00:06:17,439
cooked by a lot of
different people,
153
00:06:17,558 --> 00:06:20,209
and I gotta tell you,
this kid's got it.
154
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,296
Carrie,
let me be part of this.
155
00:06:25,465 --> 00:06:26,782
Like superman,
156
00:06:27,651 --> 00:06:29,502
I was put here for a reason.
157
00:06:33,857 --> 00:06:35,858
What are you cooking, Becky?
158
00:06:37,327 --> 00:06:42,014
You got monterey Jack cheese
melting inside the burger?
159
00:06:42,032 --> 00:06:43,666
It's an inside-out
cheeseburger,
160
00:06:43,733 --> 00:06:45,918
is that what you're
tellin' me?
161
00:06:45,986 --> 00:06:48,804
Oh, God,
does that sound good.
162
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:52,658
Ok, let me just
throw this at you, ok?
163
00:06:52,726 --> 00:06:56,662
Now, what if
instead of fries,
164
00:06:56,730 --> 00:06:58,998
you went with
sweet potato wedges?
165
00:07:02,236 --> 00:07:03,769
Oh, stop. Stop. Hey!
166
00:07:03,837 --> 00:07:05,938
Einstein was a genius.
167
00:07:08,174 --> 00:07:09,374
Oh, hey, hon'.
168
00:07:09,442 --> 00:07:11,110
Ok, so I'll see you Thursday.
169
00:07:11,177 --> 00:07:13,445
All right, bye.
170
00:07:13,513 --> 00:07:15,648
Surprised you didn't
try to suck the food
171
00:07:15,716 --> 00:07:17,549
through the phone line.
172
00:07:17,618 --> 00:07:19,551
Ok, look, before you start
copping attitude,
173
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:21,286
I'm going to the gym again,
174
00:07:21,354 --> 00:07:24,123
so with all
the extra food, it's a push.
175
00:07:25,425 --> 00:07:27,727
This area right here
will remain unchanged.
176
00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:29,829
That's my pledge to you.
177
00:07:31,331 --> 00:07:32,765
It's not just that, Doug.
178
00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:35,567
It's this whole thing
with Becky.
179
00:07:35,636 --> 00:07:36,869
Thing? There isn't a thing.
180
00:07:36,937 --> 00:07:39,071
Oh, I think there's a thing.
181
00:07:40,974 --> 00:07:43,009
You're saying, that I'm
attracted to her?
182
00:07:43,076 --> 00:07:44,844
I don't know
what it is, Doug.
183
00:07:44,911 --> 00:07:47,713
All I know is you
just spent a half hour
on the phone with her.
184
00:07:47,781 --> 00:07:51,367
[Mocking]
"You hang up."
"No, you hang up."
185
00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:53,802
Look, I am not interested
in Becky at all.
186
00:07:53,871 --> 00:07:56,605
We have one thing in common.
That's it.
You're being ridiculous.
187
00:07:56,673 --> 00:07:58,040
I don't think I am.
188
00:07:58,108 --> 00:08:00,393
Oh, so according to you,
it is somehow wrong for me
189
00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:01,977
to go to my friend's house
190
00:08:02,045 --> 00:08:04,113
where his girlfriend
cooks me stuff.
191
00:08:04,181 --> 00:08:05,197
Yeah.
192
00:08:05,999 --> 00:08:07,416
Where does it end, Carrie?
193
00:08:07,484 --> 00:08:09,051
Hey, you know what?
194
00:08:09,119 --> 00:08:10,853
The 70-year-old dispatcher
lady at I.P.S.
Made me brownies.
195
00:08:10,871 --> 00:08:12,571
Should I just march
into her cage and go,
196
00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:14,840
"you know what, chantelle?
It is over!"
197
00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:19,745
The point is
I don't have
198
00:08:19,812 --> 00:08:21,547
little relationships
with other men
199
00:08:21,615 --> 00:08:23,599
where I'm talkin'
to them on the phone,
200
00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:25,551
hangin' out because
we have stuff in common,
201
00:08:25,619 --> 00:08:27,119
because I know
it would bother you.
202
00:08:27,187 --> 00:08:29,121
Well, you know what?
It absolutely wouldn't.
203
00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:31,591
No? No? Because there's
a partner at my work
204
00:08:31,658 --> 00:08:34,226
who keeps asking me
to go jogging with him
in the morning.
205
00:08:34,294 --> 00:08:37,012
He's one of
the younger partners,
you know, on his way up,
206
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,682
so I guess it would be fine
with you if I did that?
207
00:08:39,749 --> 00:08:41,134
Yeah.
208
00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:43,269
Oh, good. Good. I'm glad
we had this conversation,
209
00:08:43,337 --> 00:08:47,189
because this opens up
a whole new world for me.
210
00:08:47,257 --> 00:08:49,141
You know, they say
you actually burn
211
00:08:49,209 --> 00:08:51,410
more calories speed-walking
than running.
212
00:08:52,011 --> 00:08:53,479
Really?
213
00:08:57,484 --> 00:08:58,617
Spence?
214
00:08:58,685 --> 00:08:59,968
Oh, hey, Carrie.
215
00:09:00,036 --> 00:09:02,187
Oh, I gotta stop.
216
00:09:02,255 --> 00:09:03,639
He owes me money.
217
00:09:03,706 --> 00:09:05,340
I'll circle around.
218
00:09:05,942 --> 00:09:07,743
Oh, ok!
219
00:09:08,661 --> 00:09:10,997
Here we go, Alan.
Come on. Here we go.
220
00:09:11,698 --> 00:09:13,199
Who was that?
221
00:09:13,267 --> 00:09:15,451
He's one of the partners
from my law firm.
222
00:09:15,519 --> 00:09:18,220
Listen, if Doug asks,
he's got a rock-hard ass, ok?
223
00:09:18,288 --> 00:09:20,055
Ooh, what's going on?
224
00:09:20,123 --> 00:09:21,657
What's going on is
225
00:09:21,725 --> 00:09:23,792
I'm jogging with
this putz every morning
226
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:26,212
because Doug is spending
all this time
with your girlfriend.
227
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,413
Yeah, what is up with them?
228
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:28,614
I don't know. You tell me.
229
00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:29,932
Well, they're so annoying.
230
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,566
You know,
"ooh, Doug, taste this.
231
00:09:31,634 --> 00:09:33,068
"Doug, dip that.
232
00:09:33,136 --> 00:09:34,753
Spence, go get Doug
a shrimp fork."
233
00:09:34,821 --> 00:09:36,889
Oh, I know!
And how about that
234
00:09:36,957 --> 00:09:38,558
"incredible veal dish"
she makes,
235
00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:40,393
all right?
Not getting that.
Thank you!
236
00:09:40,461 --> 00:09:42,795
It's like ease the throttle
on the garlic, honey.
237
00:09:42,862 --> 00:09:44,747
It's pure showboating.
I know!
238
00:09:44,815 --> 00:09:46,899
You--you coming, Carrie?
239
00:09:46,966 --> 00:09:48,233
Oh. Yeah.
240
00:09:50,303 --> 00:09:52,170
Just get me
my friggin' money.
241
00:10:13,544 --> 00:10:14,910
Rock-hard ass!
242
00:10:18,765 --> 00:10:20,232
No, honey, it's me.
243
00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:26,705
Carrie, these jogs
are wiping you out.
244
00:10:26,773 --> 00:10:29,408
You really don't need
to keep doin' this
to prove a point.
245
00:10:29,476 --> 00:10:33,128
I am not doing this
to prove a point.
246
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:36,482
I love the chill
of early morning.
247
00:10:36,550 --> 00:10:38,751
If hanging out with Becky
bothers you this much,
248
00:10:38,818 --> 00:10:40,753
you know what?
It's--it's not worth it.
249
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:41,937
Really?
Yes.
250
00:10:42,005 --> 00:10:43,856
And you know what?
In fact, come with me.
251
00:10:43,924 --> 00:10:46,358
Loving husband in action.
252
00:10:46,426 --> 00:10:47,759
Here we go.
253
00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:52,832
This is the kind of guy
you married, right here.
254
00:10:55,084 --> 00:10:56,585
[Clearing throat]
255
00:10:56,753 --> 00:10:57,903
It's her machine.
256
00:10:57,971 --> 00:11:00,039
Becky, hi. Yeah, it's Doug.
257
00:11:00,106 --> 00:11:02,474
Listen, I'm not gonna be
able to come over
258
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:05,077
and do the food thing anymore.
259
00:11:05,144 --> 00:11:06,645
Yeah, I'm really
busy at work,
260
00:11:06,713 --> 00:11:08,881
and I got a lot
of things going on,
261
00:11:09,015 --> 00:11:12,551
so from now on just send
the food over with Spence,
262
00:11:12,618 --> 00:11:14,787
and I'll give him
my comments, ok?
263
00:11:14,854 --> 00:11:17,989
All right, thank you.
Bye-bye.
264
00:11:18,057 --> 00:11:20,926
See? Now everybody wins, ok?
I don't see her anymore,
265
00:11:20,993 --> 00:11:22,661
and I still get
to eat her food.
266
00:11:22,729 --> 00:11:23,929
Which reminds me,
267
00:11:23,996 --> 00:11:26,097
I got some
leftover pasta here.
268
00:11:26,165 --> 00:11:28,784
This is great. Ah.
269
00:11:28,851 --> 00:11:31,920
Spaghetti and meatballs,
sounds boring, doesn't it?
270
00:11:31,988 --> 00:11:34,657
Not when it's
3 different-colored noodles.
271
00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:35,891
[Exclaiming]
272
00:11:42,999 --> 00:11:44,933
Mmm. Incredible.
273
00:11:48,004 --> 00:11:51,173
Ok, you know what?
274
00:11:51,241 --> 00:11:54,260
Um, this isn't gonna
work for me, either.
275
00:11:55,161 --> 00:11:56,128
What?
276
00:11:56,263 --> 00:11:57,213
Yeah.
277
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:58,731
I don't want you
eating her food.
278
00:11:58,798 --> 00:12:01,350
I told you I'm not attracted,
I'm not seeing her anymore.
279
00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:03,018
But you're still involved.
280
00:12:03,086 --> 00:12:04,353
With her spaghetti!
281
00:12:04,421 --> 00:12:06,372
Even so!
282
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,407
I'm eating it!
I'm not sleeping with it!
283
00:12:08,474 --> 00:12:09,675
It's food!
284
00:12:10,259 --> 00:12:11,527
Exactly!
285
00:12:11,594 --> 00:12:13,962
It's like you're, uh,
having a food affair.
286
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:16,582
Eatin' is not cheatin'!
287
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:18,767
Well, it still bothers me.
288
00:12:18,835 --> 00:12:21,020
Ok, fine.
You know what? You win, ok?
289
00:12:21,087 --> 00:12:22,972
You know what?
Well, she found us out,
290
00:12:23,039 --> 00:12:24,256
so I'm gonna have to end it.
291
00:12:24,324 --> 00:12:26,992
Yeah, oh, yeah.
I love you, spaghetti,
292
00:12:27,060 --> 00:12:28,627
but you're gonna have to go.
293
00:12:28,694 --> 00:12:30,129
Oh, just one more kiss!
294
00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:32,664
[Smooching]
295
00:12:32,732 --> 00:12:36,068
Oh, daddy loves you.
Oh, yes, he does.
296
00:12:38,104 --> 00:12:41,006
Now, go! Go! Go! Go!
297
00:12:41,074 --> 00:12:42,774
Oh, God forgive me.
298
00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:45,260
[Garbage disposal grinding]
299
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,401
Oh, it's a wonderful life.
300
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:56,103
Pretty great, huh?
301
00:12:56,171 --> 00:12:58,639
Actually, I think this one's
a swing and a miss.
302
00:13:01,827 --> 00:13:04,378
What are you talkin' about?
303
00:13:04,445 --> 00:13:06,647
It's one of the greatest
movies of all time.
304
00:13:06,715 --> 00:13:08,398
Well, I don't get it.
305
00:13:08,466 --> 00:13:11,502
With George Bailey,
the town couldn't be duller.
306
00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:14,338
Without him, there's
nightclubs, casinos.
307
00:13:14,406 --> 00:13:16,540
It's fabulous.
308
00:13:16,608 --> 00:13:18,508
I wish he never
had been born.
309
00:13:20,845 --> 00:13:22,863
Well, that's
a fresh take on it.
310
00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:25,132
By the way,
I was talking to Spence.
311
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,500
He was recommending a film
312
00:13:26,568 --> 00:13:28,636
about a young girl
from Kansas
313
00:13:28,703 --> 00:13:30,737
who goes to
some magical land.
314
00:13:32,691 --> 00:13:34,574
Have you heard
of it, darling?
315
00:13:35,460 --> 00:13:37,862
Good lord.
316
00:13:37,963 --> 00:13:39,997
Well, I understand
there are midgets in it,
317
00:13:40,064 --> 00:13:42,199
and that spells "funny."
318
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:45,969
Anyway, I invited Spence
and his new ladyfriend over
319
00:13:46,037 --> 00:13:47,772
to watch it with us
tomorrow night.
320
00:13:47,839 --> 00:13:49,673
What? No.
321
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:50,958
What's the matter?
322
00:13:51,025 --> 00:13:53,427
Oh, I--I had this
big thing with Doug
323
00:13:53,495 --> 00:13:54,995
and Spence's girlfriend.
324
00:13:55,063 --> 00:13:57,698
It's a long story,
but basically,
325
00:13:57,766 --> 00:14:00,000
he likes her spaghetti
too much.
326
00:14:00,802 --> 00:14:02,736
I see, and, uh,
327
00:14:02,804 --> 00:14:06,407
what is "spaghetti"
a euphemism for?
328
00:14:06,475 --> 00:14:09,994
No, dad, he really
just likes her spaghetti.
329
00:14:10,062 --> 00:14:11,728
Uh-huh,
330
00:14:11,796 --> 00:14:14,848
and did you catch him
"liking her spaghetti"?
331
00:14:15,783 --> 00:14:18,151
Dad, it's really the food.
332
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:19,620
Becky's a great cook,
333
00:14:19,688 --> 00:14:21,555
and Doug loves
what she makes.
334
00:14:21,723 --> 00:14:23,007
Well, what's wrong with that?
335
00:14:23,074 --> 00:14:24,859
I want him to like what
I make, you know?
336
00:14:24,927 --> 00:14:27,294
It's like remember
how mom used to make
those huge dinners
337
00:14:27,362 --> 00:14:28,930
with the homemade
biscuits and gravy.
338
00:14:28,997 --> 00:14:30,230
You'd be so happy.
339
00:14:30,298 --> 00:14:32,499
Oh, sure, but your mother
was home all day.
340
00:14:32,568 --> 00:14:34,001
You're a career woman.
341
00:14:34,069 --> 00:14:36,837
Yeah, but even
if I wasn't, I mean,
342
00:14:36,905 --> 00:14:38,439
I'm not like mom or Becky.
343
00:14:38,506 --> 00:14:40,441
I don't have it in me.
I'm not a nurturer.
344
00:14:40,508 --> 00:14:41,676
Of course you are.
345
00:14:41,743 --> 00:14:43,878
You've been nothing
but warm and loving to me.
346
00:14:43,946 --> 00:14:45,212
Oh, that's not true.
347
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,647
I make you sleep
in the basement.
348
00:14:46,715 --> 00:14:48,099
I know.
349
00:14:48,166 --> 00:14:50,167
I was just tryin'
to throw you a bone.
350
00:14:53,855 --> 00:14:54,838
Hey, man.
351
00:14:54,906 --> 00:14:56,006
What's up?
352
00:15:12,457 --> 00:15:14,424
That tupperware
looks familiar.
353
00:15:14,492 --> 00:15:15,826
Is that Becky's?
354
00:15:15,894 --> 00:15:16,894
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
355
00:15:16,962 --> 00:15:17,995
She made some
stuff for me.
356
00:15:18,063 --> 00:15:19,764
Said she wanted
my opinion.
357
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:25,369
You know, I used to do that,
but, whatever.
358
00:15:25,436 --> 00:15:27,437
Yeah, she said you
couldn't do it anymore.
359
00:15:27,505 --> 00:15:29,339
Yeah, Carrie got
all psycho about it.
360
00:15:29,407 --> 00:15:31,442
Oh, one man's psycho wife
is another man's
361
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:32,660
Turkey meatloaf.
362
00:15:35,396 --> 00:15:36,764
And, oh...
363
00:15:38,733 --> 00:15:40,734
Sweet potato wedges. Mmm.
364
00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:43,704
Mmm.
365
00:15:43,772 --> 00:15:48,408
Huh, you know, she, uh,
she got that idea from me,
366
00:15:48,477 --> 00:15:50,711
but, hey,
a billion years ago.
367
00:15:54,282 --> 00:15:57,001
Mmm! Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
368
00:15:57,068 --> 00:15:59,303
You know, you just--
you just can't eat it.
369
00:15:59,371 --> 00:16:01,171
You gotta think
about it, you know?
370
00:16:01,239 --> 00:16:03,573
You're supposed to give her
a professional opinion.
371
00:16:03,641 --> 00:16:06,744
Yeah, well,
my professional opinion
is "damn!"
372
00:16:06,811 --> 00:16:08,379
Ok, you know what?
This isn't right.
373
00:16:08,446 --> 00:16:09,713
What?
374
00:16:09,781 --> 00:16:11,615
This food is supposed
to be mine. It's meant for me.
375
00:16:11,683 --> 00:16:12,850
You see this label?
376
00:16:12,917 --> 00:16:14,852
After the "d" it should
say "oug" not "eacon."
377
00:16:14,919 --> 00:16:15,886
You're crazy, man.
378
00:16:15,953 --> 00:16:17,120
No, no, no. You know what?
379
00:16:17,188 --> 00:16:19,122
I'm not gone from
Becky's table for 2 minutes,
380
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:22,125
and you're already
sittin' down,
stickin' your fork in my food.
381
00:16:24,496 --> 00:16:27,331
You gettin' busy with
this chick, or somethin'?
382
00:16:27,399 --> 00:16:28,349
No.
383
00:16:31,119 --> 00:16:32,820
My God, Carrie's right.
384
00:16:34,172 --> 00:16:35,873
I'm having a food affair.
385
00:16:38,743 --> 00:16:40,110
Excuse me.
386
00:16:44,866 --> 00:16:46,400
Hey, honey,
I--I gotta talk to you.
387
00:16:46,468 --> 00:16:47,735
Hey, stir this.
388
00:16:47,803 --> 00:16:48,869
What? What's going on?
389
00:16:48,937 --> 00:16:51,872
Oh, my dad invited
Spence and Becky over
390
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:54,174
to watch the wizard of oz,and I am making dinner.
391
00:16:54,242 --> 00:16:56,344
I'm cooking all the things
you love in the world.
392
00:16:56,411 --> 00:16:57,578
Oh, crap! Biscuits.
393
00:16:57,646 --> 00:16:58,813
You don't have to
do all this.
394
00:16:58,880 --> 00:16:59,980
Yes, Doug,
395
00:17:00,048 --> 00:17:01,816
you were not getting
what you need from me.
396
00:17:01,883 --> 00:17:03,250
I need to nurture you.
397
00:17:03,318 --> 00:17:05,185
No, no.
I was totally wrong, ok?
398
00:17:05,253 --> 00:17:06,454
I got crazy
over Becky's food.
399
00:17:06,521 --> 00:17:08,522
It was stupid. It's over now.
400
00:17:08,590 --> 00:17:09,957
No, no, no. Listen to me.
401
00:17:10,024 --> 00:17:12,192
You are a big guy.
You love food,
402
00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:13,627
and I took you for granted.
403
00:17:13,695 --> 00:17:15,946
I just assumed whatever slop
I put in front of you
404
00:17:16,014 --> 00:17:17,547
you'd be fine with.
405
00:17:17,615 --> 00:17:19,283
I was fine with it.
Look at me.
406
00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:21,218
I could eat the table
and be happy.
407
00:17:22,604 --> 00:17:25,439
The point is I didn't put
anything into it, you know?
408
00:17:25,506 --> 00:17:27,574
I didn't put any love into it
like Becky does.
409
00:17:27,642 --> 00:17:29,376
Ok, Carrie, look.
You gotta believe me.
410
00:17:29,444 --> 00:17:32,546
Ok, it doesn't matter what
Becky makes her food with,
411
00:17:32,614 --> 00:17:34,982
love,
little chunks of ham...
412
00:17:36,684 --> 00:17:38,519
I don't need it.
413
00:17:38,637 --> 00:17:39,787
Really?
414
00:17:39,854 --> 00:17:41,571
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, I love you,
415
00:17:41,639 --> 00:17:45,259
and whatever you make for me,
that's all I need.
416
00:17:46,228 --> 00:17:47,794
Thank you, honey.
417
00:17:48,396 --> 00:17:49,530
[Knocking]
418
00:17:49,597 --> 00:17:50,697
Oh, that's them!
419
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:51,765
Ok, all right.
420
00:17:52,733 --> 00:17:53,733
We're here.
421
00:17:53,801 --> 00:17:54,734
Hi!
422
00:17:54,802 --> 00:17:55,769
What's going on?
423
00:17:55,836 --> 00:17:56,836
Thanks for having us.
424
00:17:56,904 --> 00:17:58,105
Oh, no problem.
425
00:17:58,173 --> 00:17:59,906
I threw together
a little salad.
426
00:18:04,645 --> 00:18:07,581
Thank you.
That was so sweet.
427
00:18:07,648 --> 00:18:09,483
I'm glad to help
if you need me.
428
00:18:09,551 --> 00:18:12,686
Oh, I'm sure you are,
429
00:18:12,753 --> 00:18:14,888
but this salad
is--is quite enough,
430
00:18:14,956 --> 00:18:16,990
especially after
I specifically told you
431
00:18:17,058 --> 00:18:18,308
not to bring anything.
432
00:18:19,827 --> 00:18:21,861
Well, I thought
I should bring something.
433
00:18:21,929 --> 00:18:24,198
Yeah, sure you did, but, um,
434
00:18:24,265 --> 00:18:26,733
I did tell you
not to bring anything.
435
00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:29,536
I guess next time
we'll just have to
put it in writing.
436
00:18:29,604 --> 00:18:32,239
Honey, I'm gonna
bring the crackers
in the other room.
437
00:18:32,307 --> 00:18:33,574
Ok, sweetie.
438
00:18:33,641 --> 00:18:35,542
All right,
you listen to me, cookie.
439
00:18:37,278 --> 00:18:39,045
I'm onto your game, ok?
440
00:18:39,114 --> 00:18:41,281
And it ain't gonna work.
Well, you know...
441
00:18:48,623 --> 00:18:50,541
Ok, we've got
fried chicken,
442
00:18:50,608 --> 00:18:52,509
biscuits and gravy,
443
00:18:52,577 --> 00:18:53,544
salad.
444
00:18:53,611 --> 00:18:54,611
Dig in.
445
00:18:55,446 --> 00:18:56,780
Everything looks great, honey.
446
00:18:56,848 --> 00:18:57,781
Thank you.
447
00:18:57,849 --> 00:18:59,416
Hear, hear.
Bravo, Carrie.
448
00:19:00,952 --> 00:19:03,420
Becky, breast or thigh?
449
00:19:03,487 --> 00:19:06,389
Um, whatever you say.
450
00:19:06,457 --> 00:19:09,693
Oh, wow, Carrie,
you've outdone yourself
with the salad--
451
00:19:09,761 --> 00:19:12,062
the pine nuts, the cheese.
452
00:19:12,129 --> 00:19:14,431
Douglas, why aren't you
having salad?
453
00:19:14,498 --> 00:19:16,984
Uh, uh, I'm not really
in the mood for salad.
454
00:19:17,051 --> 00:19:19,152
Have some. It's delicious.
455
00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:20,854
No, thank you.
456
00:19:20,922 --> 00:19:24,308
Your wife has made you
salad with love.
457
00:19:24,376 --> 00:19:26,342
Eat it,
you ungrateful bastard!
458
00:19:31,983 --> 00:19:35,718
Actually, dad,
459
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:38,221
Becky made the salad.
460
00:19:38,957 --> 00:19:40,441
Oh, I see.
461
00:19:41,326 --> 00:19:44,594
Well, then, have a biscuit.
462
00:19:45,814 --> 00:19:47,731
Some of them came out
pretty well.
463
00:19:54,906 --> 00:19:56,106
Here, honey, I'll get that.
464
00:19:56,174 --> 00:19:57,341
No way.
465
00:19:57,409 --> 00:19:58,792
You made a delicious,
nurturing meal.
466
00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:00,260
I'm cleaning up, ok?
467
00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:01,311
Yeah?
468
00:20:01,378 --> 00:20:03,713
Absolutely. I'm full here,
469
00:20:03,781 --> 00:20:06,867
but more importantly,
I'm full here.
470
00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:26,336
I can't believe
he's never seen
the wizard of oz.
471
00:20:26,404 --> 00:20:29,422
So how you liking it
so far, dad?
472
00:20:29,558 --> 00:20:31,741
Is anyone else
but me terrified?
473
00:20:37,182 --> 00:20:38,949
Who wants some more coffee?
474
00:20:39,017 --> 00:20:39,950
Uh, sure.
475
00:20:40,018 --> 00:20:41,452
Ok, I'll go make another pot.
476
00:20:57,585 --> 00:20:59,002
I can explain.
477
00:20:59,070 --> 00:21:00,337
Salad?
478
00:21:00,405 --> 00:21:01,605
I was just, I wasn't...
479
00:21:01,673 --> 00:21:04,007
I--I could understand if
it was a piece of fudge,
480
00:21:04,075 --> 00:21:07,544
maybe a calzone,
but a salad?
481
00:21:07,612 --> 00:21:11,014
You would do this
to me over a salad?
482
00:21:12,049 --> 00:21:13,816
I'm very weak.
483
00:21:13,884 --> 00:21:16,403
Ok, here's how
it's gonna go down.
484
00:21:16,471 --> 00:21:18,038
You're gonna clean
the blue cheese
485
00:21:18,106 --> 00:21:20,174
from underneath your
stubby little fingernails,
486
00:21:20,241 --> 00:21:21,842
then you're gonna
rinse out that bowl.
487
00:21:21,893 --> 00:21:24,211
If I see another piece of
that woman's tupperware
488
00:21:24,312 --> 00:21:26,212
in my kitchen again,
489
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,115
I'll kill you both.
490
00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:31,401
What are you gonna
491
00:21:31,469 --> 00:21:33,336
whip one of your
biscuits at my head?
492
00:21:40,544 --> 00:21:41,728
Oh, God.
493
00:21:46,734 --> 00:21:47,968
Darling, come here.
494
00:21:48,035 --> 00:21:50,854
I've stumbled on a marvelous
television program.
495
00:21:50,922 --> 00:21:52,089
Oh, yeah?
496
00:21:52,156 --> 00:21:55,025
Yes, it's a period piece
about a simpler time.
497
00:21:55,093 --> 00:21:57,093
Let me bring you up to speed.
498
00:21:57,161 --> 00:22:00,430
The one in the leather jacket
is called "fonzie."
34985
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof