All language subtitles for Housekeeping-for-Beginners-2024-English-Subtitles-STAGATV-COM

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Original subtitles

["Muskarcina" playing in Serbian]

["Muskarcina" continues playing]

[singing along]

[continues singing along]

[song ends]

[birds chirping]

[traffic passing nearby]

[intercom chimes]

[person on PA, indistinct]

[mouse clicking]

[breathes deeply]

[picks up phone receiver, phone line beeps]

[dialing phone]

[line ringing]

[child speaks over phone]

[speaking Macedonian] Hey, put your mother on.

-[chattering over phone] -[mouse clicking]

You picked up the roast?

What now, you want me to yell?

If you want, I'll yell.

-[woman speaking over phone] -[sighs]

[hangs up receiver]

[man speaking in other room]

[mouse clicking]

[picks up phone receiver]

-[phone line ringing] -[mouse clicking]

Hey.

What's with the system? I have to click everything twice.

-[man speaking over phone] -Huh?

[scoffs]

Well, I'm thinking Arsenal.

[man speaking over phone]

Okay, dude. Let's see.

[knocking on door]

Doctor?

I beg your pardon, sir. I don't want to bother you.

But I'm waiting six hours, my sister's unwell.

And you're the only one here?

-It's only you here? -Sorry, doctor. If you can help--

-But are you the only one here? -Beg your pardon, sir--

Get the hell out. When it's your turn, I'll-

Beg your pardon, doctor. There's no one else to help--

Woman, get out already. When it's your turn, I'll call out.

-Jesus Christ. -[door closes]

Hey.

Enough about Fernandes. Fernandes can blow me.

Cost me sixty--

[phone clattering]

-[slams down phone] -What the hell's with you?

And if that woman was of pure race?

[Dita] Suada.

-Would you have spoken to her like that? -What the hell's with you?

-[clattering] -Enough, enough.

If she weren't a Gypsy?

-[doctor shouting] -[clattering]

You're not sane! Calm down, what's with--

["In Corpore Sano" playing]

[Mia] Boys don't wear nail polish like this.

No?

What color do boys wear?

Blue, pink?

♪ A lady artist must be healthy ♪

♪ Be healthy, be healthy ♪

[both singing along]

-Where'd this guy come from? -[items clattering]

-[man] Uh… -[Mia chuckling]

-We found him in Toni's room. -[Mia] Yeah.

[man] Hello.

Is this mum?

That's mum, and that's Dita.

Who the hell are you?

Um… Ali. Hi.

[Mia] It's her house.

He wants to stay here too.

Of course he does.

Really nice to meet you.

I'm calling the police.

Why?

-[Mia] Don't chase him away. -There's no need for the police.

Relax, as if she'll call the police. What the dick.

Woman, no filthy words!

[Ali] I mean, I can go, but Toni-- Toni said I should stay.

I'm calling the police.

-But why police? No need- -[Mia] Who the hell are you, woman?

Don't you dare kick him out!

As if she'd kick him out. She's just showing off, man.

Apologies ma'am, but Toni said I could stay a bit.

I really apologize.

The house is yours, and, uh…

[footsteps departing]

[Mia] She's a fool.

[chuckles]

[Suada] Where's all the white girls?

[Vanesa] Up their mums' holes.

[Mia] Again dirty talking. Potty mouth.

-[refrigerator door opens] -[bottles clattering]

[door closes]

[sighs]

[piano playing disjointed notes]

["Gnossienne Cinquieme" playing]

And to Vienna?

And to Budapest?

There too.

[traffic passing nearby]

Berlin?

Twice.

Bro, now I know you're shitting me.

Believe, if you want, or don't believe me.

I don't give a shit.

Bitch, please.

Whatever.

[Teuta exclaims]

-You're still here, ya fag? -Wow, no way.

[chattering, laughing]

["Gnossienne Cinquieme" continues playing]

Give us a smoke?

-Easy, kid. -Tight-arse.

[Vanesa] Usually two of these three are fucking.

-But you never know which two. -[Ali] Yeah?

[Vanesa] Apparently their parents kicked them out.

But I bet they're just saying that. Just like your guy.

So Dita won't charge them rent.

For some dude Toni picked up, this has to be a record.

Nah, man. Remember the Kosovar?

He stayed a full three days. 'Cause of the visa thing.

Yeah, but that guy had to stay.

This one's here of his own free will.

Fuck. You're right. This is a record.

Hang on actually. This one's from Shutka, right?

That means he needs a visa too.

Oh, my God, of course. Shutka, man. Fuck that.

[Ali] What do you mean, "fuck that"? What's wrong with Shutka?

Shutka's a power, man. Like a mini-Paris.

[Elena] It's the Gypsy capital of the world, man!

-Uh-huh. -No fucking around with Shutka.

-What, you're still here, kid? -Mm-hmm.

[Teuta] Toni, man. You're turning us into the United Nations.

Calls himself a patriot, but keeps cramming in the foreign goods.

[women laughing]

Oof.

[Toni] Goddamn it, macaroni again?

[Mia] You're ugly!

-One more, darling. -No.

You eat it.

I'm gonna smack you.

How about I smack you?

-Toni's nuthouse won't even have us. -Don't, mum!

Wanna bet though? Shutka will declare independence.

A bit of war will sputter out, 15-20 minutes max,

and boom, they get into the EU and we're still waiting.

They'll be Northern North Macedonia.

Former Yugoslav Republic of Gypsies.

Hey! No bad words, woman!

-What bad word? "EU"? -No, "Gypsy."

-"EU" is a hundred times worse. -That's it, hon. Tell her.

Us smart girls say Roma, not Gypsy.

-[Mia] You're the Gypsy. -[clock chiming]

Who's my smart girl?

-What's the time? -Huh?

-[Dita sighs] -[Teuta] But you're right.

They'll slink into the EU before us.

[Flora] Think so?

One more bite?

Into the EU? Sure they will.

Goddamn.

Hey, man.

"Ali", was it?

That's right. Ali.

Enchantée.

-I'm Teuta. -Nice to meet you.

-Marry me. -Well, well.

-What you on about? -Take me. For a wife.

-[Flora] You're a bit young to marry. -[Teuta] For love? You're never too young.

[Elena] For an EU visa either.

[chattering, laughter]

Okay, dinner's done. You're done.

Well? Ali?

Marry me, man!

[Ali] In my end of town

-you're what's called an old maid. -[pills rattling]

In your end of town? I don't doubt it.

-Play the "Healthy" song. -Shh, little one!

[Mia] Come get me!

-What about Amsterdam? -[Ali] What?

-Have you been? -Not yet. Let's go together.

Yeah, right. It's that easy.

Didn't you hear what they said?

With me you'll get into the EU.

Can there be one meal where you don't reek of cigarettes?

What the hell!

[Mia screams]

[chattering]

[phone buzzing]

[Vanesa] Hands off, cunt.

-Oh, my God. Girl! -But, Mum, he's grabbing my phone!

[Ali] No way.

Yes way!

Nah, man, look. Mine's like that too.

[exclaims]

[Vanesa] No fucking way.

-It's a sign. -Of what?

Fate, man. We were meant to meet.

[Suada] Mmm.

Watch out, bro. Now it's Vanesa stealing your husband.

Nah, I'm the one Ali's marrying!

-Um, he's dry in that area. -It's fine!

[Teuta] And I'm too young for marriage? The girl's even younger!

[Ali] Yeah, well, you know how it is. With us Gypsies.

We marry young.

[Teuta] Well, if he can say Gypsy, then I can--

[Elena] Enough, woman!

[Ali] Nope, none of you can. Just me and Vanesa.

-Eat your damn food already. -[slams plate on table]

Where the hell do you get off yelling at her?

Come here and say that, faggot.

You come over here.

[dishes clattering]

[chattering, laughter]

Fuck your dyke face.

Choke on your mum's dick.

[Ali] Wasn't ready for that, gotta say…

[laughter, chattering continues]

[inhales deeply]

[Ali] Make the hair yellow.

And this color?

Or try this one?

We're not finished.

You're still here, boy?

-Come on. To bed. -No, we're not finished.

[Mia whining]

Baby girl, let's leave it as is and continue tomorrow.

-Swear on your mum? -And on my dad and my four sisters.

-You said you have five. -Well, I swear on the four that matter.

-[Vanesa chuckling] -[springs creaking]

You too, big one.

To bed.

Dude, I don't start till 10:00 tomorrow.

I don't give a fuck.

Girl, what's all this about ten o'clock?

We said seven o'clock sharp for pilates.

[Vanesa] That's maybe what you're doing. Me, not so much.

And how you planning to hook a stud in Amsterdam with that arse?

Even I can barely stand to look at you.

'Cause of you, I turned gay, just so you know.

[Vanesa] Dude, I will fuck you up.

I swear, man.

I step out of Toni's room this morning,

take one look at your face and, boom, right that second:

That's it. I'm a faggot.

-[Ali grunts, claps hands] -[Suada] Okay, good night.

Oh, my God. I said I start at 10:00.

-Hey! -[door slams shut]

-I said at 10:00! -[door opens]

[Elena] Oh, shit. Sorry. Sorry.

Yeah, 'cause she's never seen a naked woman.

-What the hell you staring at? -[door closes]

[Flora] Cover your tits, ya whores.

-[door closes] -[Teuta, Elena laughing]

What is with this place…

[door opens]

What? I'm late for work.

No one here asks anything of you.

But the two kids at least? Can we not put them in danger?

What danger, woman? Ali?

Have you taken one look at him?

The little girl could beat him up.

You left them alone in the house with one of your hookups.

And?

They already like him more than they like you.

Well, of course they do. He's practically their age.

You can't keep him here!

[door slams shut]

[footsteps approaching]

[door opens]

Fucks' sakes, finish it in peace.

As if I give a toss.

I've booked with a Dr. "Bairami."

They're sending him your file.

It's just that…

I hope you're not planning an encore performance?

There's only so many oncologists left in Skopje.

All right, all right.

He can kick me right in the balls.

I'll be quiet as a church girl.

[knocking]

One question?

[Suada grunts]

If I may, ma'am.

-[table scraping on floor] -[dishes rattling]

It was your dad in parliament, ma'am? In the photos upstairs?

Mm-hmm.

Want some?

What sort of tea?

It's got cigarette butts and pig scrotum. Mmm?

[chuckles]

A brew concocted by her Kosovar ancestors.

Cures cancer apparently.

-[Ali chuckles] -[Suada grunts]

[turns on opera music]

Meantime,

what are we gonna tell the grandkids, man?

What?

Where did grandpa Ali and grandpa Toni meet?

Grindr, Gay Romeo?

Or somewhere more classical, like the urinal?

-Gay Romeo. -Mm-hmm.

Can I call you that from now on? Gay Romeo?

[chuckles]

-Or are you maybe bi? -Damn, woman.

Just don't tell me you're straight.

Please.

Anything but that.

Whatever you want me to be, that's what I'll be, darling.

-The whole rainbow. -Mmm.

What are you?

-Seventeen, eighteen? -Nineteen.

Married?

No.

But any day now.

[Suada] Who's the lucky girl?

[Ali] Don't know yet.

-Hmm. -But it's time.

And then? No more dick?

Come on, dude.

I'll be married, not dead.

You won't feel bad.

What for?

I know the perfect girl for you.

Yeah? Who?

She's from Shutka too.

You know Sali?

The horse exorcist?

Yeah, his daughter?

The one with no teeth?

-What, you don't like her? -[Ali chuckles]

Geez, bro. Picky, aren't we?

Come on, don't be mean.

Who else, who else…

Mmm.

-Know Sakip? -The trumpet player?

Well, his cousin. The vampire hunter.

Man, you know nobody normal.

You for real? You don't believe in vampires?

And then you tell me you're from Shutka?

Maybe that's what I should do.

Show you a proper vampire.

Cure the gay right out of you.

And who says I want the gay cured?

[Suada exclaims]

[Suada] What about your future wifey?

Well, it's not like I'll be sucking dick in front of her.

Would you look at him?

Man with a plan.

Here.

Sip some dandruff and horse semen.

I thought it was pig balls.

I may have oversold it.

-[turns off music] -[Dita sighs]

Now we've pissed off the landlady.

[laughing]

[Ali] And is there a "Gay Juliet"?

Well, then how did you two meet?

[Suada sighs]

[Suada] I was her client.

[Ali] Wow.

Both business and pleasure.

[Suada chuckles, grunts]

[Suada] Both. You're exactly right.

-Another afternoon off? -House visits. Round Shutka.

Swapped with Nela.

What's it been, six weeks in a row?

She keeps letting you swap?

Check if you want.

[doctor] Look, treatment options do exist.

But with pancreatic…

[papers rustling]

To give a positive prognosis,

I can't do that.

[papers rustling]

[engine cranking]

[engine cranking]

[Dita laughing]

[engine cranking]

[screaming]

[engine starting]

[sighs]

[children chattering]

-Is mum here? -Who are you?

-From welfare. -She's over here.

[chattering continues]

Like this?

Mm-hmm.

Look, look.

[Mia laughing]

A big one.

Now you.

-[sputtering] -[Mia chattering]

[laughing]

[Suada] One more, one more.

[engine cranking]

Fucking hell.

Babe, get lube.

[breathing heavily]

[grunts, panting]

[both laughing]

[engine cranking]

[Mia, Suada chattering]

[Elena] Step on it.

-[Vanesa] It'd be dope. -[Teuta] Right?

[Vanesa] And I really wouldn't mind a Mercedes.

Make that two. One red, one black.

-Sure, why not? -A house in Miami.

And one in Los Angeles. It'd be dope.

How're you gonna get all this with one million, man?

Well, aren't prices down after COVID?

And you, dude? If you had a million?

What would you buy?

I guess, give Dita a bit. For rent.

-Uh-huh, right. -Cringe.

Or take her to the lake. For a bit of holiday.

[Vanesa] You're in for some serious partying, bro.

[Teuta] Fully.

She'll ply you with liters upon liters of sparkling water.

[Vanesa] Or if you're in the mood for something hard-core?

A can of Sprite.

[Teuta] She'll turn up to the beach in a pantsuit. From a home visit.

[Ali] And little Mia? What would she buy with a million?

[Mia] A big zoo.

-[Ali] An entire zoo? Wholesale? -[Mia] Yes.

-[Ali] Or pay entry a million times? -[Dita typing]

[Mia] We'll pay and we'll go,

and we'll look at monkeys.

-[Suada] Enough of that now. -Just a second.

[typing continues]

Dita.

Come on. Turn it off.

And what now?

You'll just do what you like?

Think you're the only one here?

[footsteps departing]

It's okay. It's still working.

[Dita] I can stop by the stationery store.

On my way home.

It's okay.

[Suada] She wants the German ones specifically.

I know.

What a strange kid.

Just give her books, pencils, sketch pads…

When I was five myself, I was still playing with mud.

But then, in first grade,

I wrote just as neatly as the white girls.

And for them it was always A's, B's.

For me?

C's, barely.

The teacher all grinning.

The goose.

Since "even a C was generous."

For some girl called "Selimi."

Yeah, well, twenty-plus years ago.

Aha, right.

Now it's rainbows and sunshine.

[laughs]

So?

Now you'll be mum, hey?

Can't wait, hey?

What?

"Mama Dita"?

Come on, please.

There's treatments we can try.

All kinds.

Okay, you don't want surgery.

But another scan at least. An MRI.

Put Toni down as father.

Now I know you're joking.

Just put his name down.

Nothing more than that.

What? Don't pretend.

If you're an "Acevski," you get not only A's at school,

you get 10's at uni too.

If you're a Selimi?

D's. At best. In night school.

I'll do the surgery.

-If he gives them his name. -Come on, enough.

-Dit-- -You've said enough.

[Ali] Look who's come to see us.

[Suada speaking quietly]

[crying]

-What is it now? -Come on, girl.

What's with you?

What are you doing?

Right then.

-[Dita] Don't. -[Mia] Don't play?

Well, we will.

From now on,

this is mum.

Understood?

From now on,

I'm not anything to you.

You will call me Suada.

And you will call her mum.

You hear?

Fuck you all to hell.

Please don't.

-[door slams shut] -Mia.

I don't know. Calm her down.

Hon, look me right in the eyes.

This is important.

The most important thing in the world.

Tell me. You'll be a smart girl, yes?

This is mum.

And this man?

Dad. Yes?

-Mmm? -[Dita] Come on, wait.

-Wait, wait a minute. -[Mia] I don't want--

-[Mia protesting] -[Suada shushing]

[Mia crying]

[Mia sniffling]

[Vanesa sniffling]

[sniffles]

You'll get better.

That's our focus right now. You getting better.

Say you'll be their mother.

You're not dying.

[Dita gasping]

-Oh, God. Give me that! -Say it. Say you will be.

Say you will be.

-Get someone! -Say the words.

Say them!

Say you'll be their mother.

Fuck you. I'll be their mother.

I'll be their mother. I'll be their--

[sobbing]

Easy, miss. Take it easy.

[object clatters on floor]

Woman, you've got a screw missing.

[sobbing continues]

[door slams shut]

[Mia sniffling]

[Mia speaking quietly]

[crying]

[Ali speaking quietly]

[dishes clattering]

If you want maybe…

You can take my room maybe.

No need.

[crying, sniffling]

I want where mum is.

[water running]

Fuck. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

-[door closes] -Sorry.

[water stops]

Come on, don't be crazy.

You're not seriously going to work?

What? You're gonna start paying the power bills?

[door opens, closes]

Dita.

I heard about your cousin.

God.

My condolences. Honestly.

-How old? -Young.

Oh, God.

Really, I'm very sorry.

And you were close?

Oh, you know…

[opera music playing]

[Ali] And if I give you money? Will you sleep?

No, no! Mm-mmm.

Okay, what if we just pretend we're going to sleep--

No.

-Look, I'll do it too-- -No!

-[Ali snoring] -No. No.

Come on, honey pie. Why are you being--

♪ Sleepy sleep time, baby ♪

♪ Pretty little baby ♪

And if we forge something?

A birth certificate or something.

I know a guy…

I'm serious. I know a guy.

Half past.

[Flora] The guy can copy the original,

and just put down "Father's name: Toni Acevski."

Wow, master plan.

[Flora] What? Even if someone checks, so what?

-Hey. -Slip 'em a fifty,

one kilo Nescafé, and that's that.

[Teuta] Look at him. Sleeping beauty.

[Elena] Leave him alone. You'd nap too

if you were stuck working night shifts in an asylum.

No, but really. I know a guy.

You know a guy?

I do. I know a guy.

Hang on. I know a guy.

Everybody knows a guy. You maybe know a guy too?

-My uncle. He drives Ahmeti. -[Elena] From parliament?

-[Teuta] Which one was Ahmeti? -[Flora] The fat one.

-[Teuta] Wow. That narrows it down. -The one with the toupee.

-[Teuta] Oh, the Gypsy. -[Elena] Quit it with that bloody word!

All right, man. All right! The Roma, the Roma.

I'm sick to my dick of all this fucking PC.

-What are you all on about now? -[Ali] My uncle drives Ahmeti.

-What an honor. -Vanesa was born in Shutka, right?

-What sort of hospital's in Shutka? -[Teuta] For cys-titties.

But her dad was from Shutka, right?

-Her dad was from the pit of hell. -[Elena] Same thing.

-[Teuta] What happened to him? -[Flora] Overdosed.

Shutka's Corleone.

There you go. Shutka! Ahmeti's electorate.

-Why bang on about Ahmeti? -[Ali] He's an MP!

-And? -My uncle drives him.

-Did Toni meet you at work? -No. On Gay Romeo.

Not on his shift? Among the inpatients?

But I'm telling you. My uncle drives Ahmeti,

who runs Shutka, which has the birth certificate.

-[Flora] Shutka? Keeps birth certificates? -It doesn't.

That's a shame. They'd come with an Adidas logo.

-[Teuta] More like "Adibas." -"Reybok."

[Ali] Doesn't matter who's keeping it. Ahmeti can find it and he can fix it.

[Teuta] Who will convince him? You will?

[Ali] The man has a big heart. You don't know him.

[Teuta] But how will you do it?

[Ali] Leave it with me. I know how.

[Elena] What, you're gonna blow Ahmeti?

Woman, how many times do I have to say it?

My uncle's his driver.

So your uncle's gonna blow Ahmeti?

You don't get it, none of you. My kind, we look after one another.

And Ahmeti looks after us all. He's not a fake.

For example, in September when my cousin gave birth?

He brought her a gold Koran and a lamb on a spit.

So your cousin's gonna blow Ahmeti?

[laughing]

[Teuta] Maybe the baby was Ahmeti's?

Fuck your fucking breed. You want help or not?

-Not your hel-- -We do, actually.

Why not, yeah?

Knock yourselves out.

You'll see. I'll take care of the whole thing.

[Elena] Right. You of all people.

-You'll see. You'll see. -[Elena] Wanna put money on it?

-You touched in the head? -[Ali] You'll see.

Name of child: Vanesa. Surname: Selimi.

Name of father: Anton. Surname: Acevski.

-This is real? From the birth registry? -Look at the stamp.

Motherfucker, he really did take care of it.

-Hang on, you didn't really like… -[Ali] What?

-[Teuta] Blow Ahmeti? -[Ali] Ahmeti likes girls, man!

No, don't!

[footsteps departing]

What, no one told her?

Who'da thunk this joker was for real?

And me?

He's daddy to me too?

-What's the paper say? -[footsteps approaching]

[Toni] Is there something for breakfast?

[Mia] What's the paper say?

You're gonna be my dad?

[Ali] And did anyone tell him?

Tell me what?

[Elena] Toni, my friend,

let me be the first to congratulate you.

And the first to get the hell out of here.

You two as well.

Come, sweetie. Opa.

Where are we going now?

I have things to do!

I thought you two had spoken.

What is this?

This can't be valid. I can go straight to the police.

Shove both of you into jail.

It's not my doing. It's your boyfriend's.

But no one's even seen it.

And the birth registry?

Other than them, nobody.

And what? You're gonna blackmail me with this?

It's a piece of paper. It's nothing.

Move on. Nothing has to change.

Nothing has to change?

You've made me a father, you sociopath.

Behind my back.

I've made you nothing.

I've put your name on a piece of paper.

The girl is my responsibility.

My problem. My mess that's gonna blow up in my face.

You'll keep living here, free of charge

with a whole harem making your meals, bleaching your underpants.

Nothing, nothing, nothing has to change.

Fuck your mother.

[paper rustling]

[door slams shut]

You know, I think it's my fault.

Shut the hell up.

["Quel Guardo il Cavaliere" playing]

[turns off music]

What about a snack with that?

I could make you something?

If you want?

I don't.

What do you want then?

Could use a pack of cigs.

Go to hell, all of you.

-[door opens] -Good afternoon!

-Hi. -[Mia] Your turn.

-This is called a straight flush. -It is?

-Means I win. -No, I win. I have lots.

-Sorry, sweetie. Mine are the same suit. -No way, man. I win.

Girl, mine are the same suit!

-No, mine are. -Okay, I take the money.

No, it's mine, mine!

You're a thief. A thief.

Thief!

[sighs]

[Dita clears throat]

[Toni] What the--

-[principal] You're Acevski? -[Dita] Good afternoon. I'm his fiancée.

Vanesa's with us now. She lives with us.

[door opens]

There seems to have been a miscommunication.

All right, but we're talking weeks now.

And even before that, it was hardly much to brag about…

Her behavior.

I don't know if you've been told. Her mother passed away.

No.

A month ago.

I hadn't heard.

I don't know what to--

My condolences, sir.

Does this mean that Vanesa's father

will play more of a role in her life from now on?

Both he and I will, yes.

And is there a reason he didn't before now?

Well, did you ever meet Vanesa's hell of a mother?

Toni's a different man now.

Vanesa will be fine.

She's grieving some time, that's all.

Fiancée? We look like a couple, you think?

She thought we do.

Uh-huh. As much as I look like Vanesa's dad.

I'll wait for her.

Keep it.

You're not serious.

If you die tomorrow, then what?

You're my only legal link to her.

I thought your girlfriend was the nutjob.

But you're ten times fucking crazier.

And what's it to you? Who you saving yourself for?

One of the children you abduct on Grindr?

[engine starting]

[tires squealing]

[people chattering]

[crowd shouting]

You're the slut.

[girl screaming]

[Dita shouting]

Leave me!

Are you all insane?

-Let me sort this whore out! -It's Doan's fault.

-[crowd clamoring] -Leave me.

[chattering over speakers]

Come back down this minute!

[door opens, slams shut]

♪ Hold me a little Love me, you fool, like the first time ♪

♪ Take everything off me From the neck down ♪

♪ These chains of gold Rip everything off me ♪

♪ Run through my veins ♪

♪ Euphoria… ♪

♪ Come to mama, come to mama To mama, to mama… ♪

[both continue singing along "Dodji Mami"]

♪ I stand here, a stunned woman I hate that I love you ♪

♪ What can I do when you're my man? ♪

♪ My joy, my pain… ♪

The bitch says to me, "You whore, you're stealing my fiancé."

And I'm supposed to let her get away without a scratch?

-They're engaged? -They're deranged.

And his name's Doan…

Does his dad drive a taxi?

What do I know?

And when he's flirting, you don't flirt back a bit?

Come on, man…

It's all just him, huh?

Gimme a break.

[opera music playing]

Doan… Doan…

How's it possible there's a guy in Shutka

that I don't know?

What's with the ring?

[laughing]

["Dve Liri" playing]

[song continues with Macedonian lyrics]

[chattering]

["Dve Liri" continues playing]

-Do you know each other sufficiently? -Yes.

Yes.

Do you enter into marriage of your own free will?

-Yes. -Yes.

Do you know each other's health conditions?

-Yes. -Yes.

Are you related?

-No. -Yes. No.

[Elena snickering]

Do the witnesses know the marital partners?

Yes.

Yes.

Do they enter marriage of their own free will?

Yes.

-Are they related? -No.

I now pronounce this marriage valid.

[Elena laughing]

[Mia vocalizing]

Mia.

♪ I will sing to you ♪

♪ With tears in my eyes ♪

♪ On your wedding day ♪

Okay, I'm about to smash you. Turn that shit off!

♪ Sing through my pain… ♪

Ah, here comes our bride.

Hang on, wait.

He needs to lift you, carry you over the threshold.

For good luck! Yo? So your first born's a male!

♪ I'll cheer ♪

♪ To your future happiness ♪

♪ On your wedding day ♪

♪ Burn through my sorrow… ♪

[song ends]

[cheering]

Cheers…

Here's to our friend Dita…

Who gave me the opportunity to…

[Teuta] Wait, we're doing speeches?

Gave me the opportunity to…

Stand before the wedding registrar…

-With the man I love. -[laughter, applause]

For fuck's sake, ya fag…

I have a speech. Wait, stop, quiet. Quiet, everyone.

-As the only woman here-- -That's my phone, cunt.

-Quiet. As the only woman here-- -[Teuta] You're a woman?

I swear on my dick, I'm just saying as the only woman here

who's experienced-- Whoa, careful.

Who's experienced…

Relations with a man, intimate relations…

I have to say this to you:

It's gonna hurt. I can't lie to you. It's gonna hurt.

But you just spread a bit wider, shut your eyes a bit.

I don't wanna scare you. Don't be scared.

-You've had enough. -Oh, come on.

-Leave Dita alone. -Don't bring the mood down.

Wait, wait, wait.

Yo, mum, mum, mummy dearest!

Let's see who's the next bride.

[cheering]

-Let's go, let's go. -[whistling]

-[cheering] -Opa!

Cheers!

[chattering]

Congrats, congrats.

[Elena singing "Dve Liri"]

[retching, coughing]

[Ali] Aw, girl…

-[toilet flushing] -[balloons popping]

[Mia] Look.

-[Vanesa] I forgot she was there. -[laughter]

And if I told you a secret? Can I?

Mm-hmm.

-But really a secret. -Really a secret.

I'm getting married too.

-Come on. -Mm-hmm.

To Doan.

The boy that made you fight?

He didn't make me fight. That whore did.

-[balloon pops] -Dude!

[Mia giggling]

I thought you didn't like him.

But this summer he's going to Malta. Three months, to work there.

-[balloons popping] -[Mia giggling]

-[Ali] Malta? -[Vanesa] Yes.

-His aunt has a cousin there. -Mmm.

Look, Malta seems a bit like…

-Italy left vomit in a toilet. -[Vanesa laughs]

But it's in the UE! The UE!

-In the EU? Malta? -Yes. Yes.

Who told you that?

It's in the UE!

The UE.

-But there's one thing I don't get. -Yeah, bro?

The other week you said

he's engaged to the other girl.

Well, you did.

That cow forced him to propose.

He couldn't get any otherwise.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

-I'm telling you. -Okay.

[footsteps running]

[balloon pops]

-Oh, my God. Enough now! -[Mia giggles]

[cartoon playing quietly]

No.

-[door closing] -[Mia] Mm-mmm.

[Dita] Mmm?

I'm not eating. What, I'm not eating!

Getting married, are we?

You haven't even finished ninth grade.

Fucking traitor.

You're the traitor. What do I care about you?

So I'm bailing out of this hole. So what?

-That so? Where you off to? -You'll see.

-You need money for the bus? -I need nothing of yours.

Where you gonna sleep? At your husband's?

Does he have a couch? That rolls out?

He does. He has one. And it's in Malta! You bull dyke.

Oh, you jet-setter.

Malta? You don't even have a passport.

-I'll get one. -Yeah? At the supermarket?

-I'll tell the police you kidnapped me. -Kidnapped you?

From who? Who's been so desperate to take you in?

I'd love to do a coffee with them.

-You've kidnapped me from my family. -What family?

-My family. -What goddamn family?

-My grandma. -Your grandma? Your mum's mum?

-Yes, my mum's mum. -That's your grand plan?

Change grandma's underpants? In Shutka?

-[door slams shut] -[gasping]

[opera music playing]

[liquid pouring]

You'll be able to get to school?

From Shutka?

I'll find another school.

They'll be dying to take you.

What are you to me? You're nothing to me.

What's it been?

Five, six years? Since your grandmother saw you?

Can it be none of your business?

You think with her you'll be happy?

Okay.

Let's try grandma.

You have an address?

-I'll ask around. -Where?

Just take me to Shutka, I'll find someone.

On the side of the road? You'll walk up to strangers?

[Toni] If you want, I can drive you.

-Here, Ali can come too. -[Dita scoffs]

What?

Two women?

Driving alone? Through Shutka?

[sighs]

[cello playing "Nocturne in C-sharp minor"]

[chattering]

[chattering]

[chattering]

[laughter, chattering]

[Ali] Yo, granny!

-Hava? -What you crapping on about?

What you shouting for? Whose people are you?

-Good afternoon, granny Hava. -Who the hell are you?

I'm a friend of Suada's.

What's your deal? So she's my daughter, so what?

I'm Ali. Suada was my friend.

-Look, I've brought your grand-- -You're what?

-They're Suada's. Your daughter's. -Suada's?

-What do you want me to do about that? -[Ali] Look. This big one is Vanesa.

-She's Vanesa, I'm Mia. -They were both Suada's girls.

["Nocturne in C-sharp minor" continues playing]

-Give her a hug too. -I don't want to.

[Hava] And who are the white people?

[Ali] This here is Toni and she is Dita.

-[Hava] Sit. -[Mia] She says to come here, dude.

Sit. Sit. Tell them to sit.

What's there to say?

Once it's crushed over and over,

your heart, it turns to dust.

Pure dust.

But it's fine. It's fine.

Look.

Of course it hurts. Of course.

You've no idea how many young ones we lost the same way.

Some even younger.

-[Ali] Younger than Suada? -Yes. Yes.

I know it's bad for me to get angry.

But I get angry.

What can I do?

-[neighbor] It's all cause of the mine. -[Hava] It's obvious.

[neighbor] Cause of where they dumped us. Before we came here.

[Hava] Exactly. 'Cause of the radiation.

-[child] Grandma, he hit me. -[Hava] Well, hit him back then!

There's too many of you.

-I'm sick of it. -[child] Granny! Granny Hava!

[whistling]

Ferus, my man!

-Where you been, bro? -Where you been, bro?

Ah…

Look, daughter.

Check out these abs. Since when do you--

Haven't seen you round these parts in a while.

-What, me? -You got a new job, bro?

What's this hair? Is this meant to be bling?

Talk all you want. Everything on me's expensive.

I'm an influencer now.

Come with grandma. For my old body's sake.

Let me introduce you.

Come, get up.

Come, woman.

Grandma needs to introduce you.

-Leave me to it, you queer. -All right, all right, sorry--

I swear. Are you her grandma, or am I?

My girl, these two are your uncles.

That's Dino and he's Ferus. Shake hands.

Still thinking let's dump them with granny?

Right, Mother Teresa.

As if you didn't think of the same.

-Lose the cigarette or I'll behead you! -Were they cousins or…

-Uncles, fag boy, uncles! -Uncles.

[engine starting]

[Ferus] If you need a bit of dough, a Euro or two.

-We'll take you back right away. -Nah, man. No need. Trust me.

[Hava] We're really, really grateful.

Both to you and your husband.

For looking after both our girls so well.

Look at this beauty here.

Like she's made of gold.

What's she saying?

Nothing.

[Hava] Let her go. She doesn't know what to say.

I wish you all the health in the world.

You, your husband, your whole family…

God grant you some children of your own as well.

-All right. Say hi to Boss Lady! -All right, all right.

[lawyer] Despite numerous attempts,

the branches of law enforcement have proven unable to locate

the girl's biological father.

In light of the multiple drug trafficking offenses

that he has been charged with,

he is presumed to have fled the country.

Even preceding the drug charges,

he had long refused all contact with Mia.

Since in his absence,

for some time now, my clients have been caring for

both the little girl and her older half-sister,

we request that the court

grant them full guardianship.

[Sandra] Dita?

[Dita] Sandra.

Must be a hundred years since we've seen each other, huh?

Did I just read you're married?

-Mmm? -Mmm.

How is it I don't know this?

-Toni? Sandra. -[Sandra] Hello.

-[Dita] We used to work together. -Yes.

-Congrats. -Thanks.

Congrats, I didn't know about any of this.

[lawyer] We should go.

-[Sandra] You're still at welfare? -Yep, yep.

-Say hi to my girls there. -I will.

I just had to say congrats. I didn't know…

-See ya-- -And, oh! Ring sometime. Ring me.

-See ya. -See ya…

-[Dita] Come, little one. -[Mia] Uh-uh.

-[Dita speaking] -[Mia protesting]

-I don't want to. -Come on, come on.

Motherfu--

We hear congrats are in order!

-Congrats, Dita, hon. -Let's see the ring.

[piano playing "Prelude in C-minor No. 1, BWV 846"]

Modest. But just to my taste.

Like the one you didn't get.

["Prelude in C-minor No. 1, BWV 846" continues playing]

I hear it's one of "ours" you snapped up. A Macedonian.

And a sexy one, says Sandra!

Could we quit the "ours and theirs" crap?

Or maybe we quit the PC crap. I have nothing against Kosovars.

[Nela] We're set for Sunday?

Don't worry. I've invited no one else from the office.

-Bring your girls, yeah? -Mm-hmm.

-There's two of them, right? -Mm-hmm.

[piano continues playing]

The husband too, obviously. His name was Toni?

See ya then.

-Enough! -You think I want to go?

-Fuck yourself. I'm not going. -You think I want to go?

I don't have a choice. The woman cornered me.

-I'm done with the psychodrama. -[door opens, slams shut]

[guitar playing "Prelude in C-minor No. 1, BWV 846"]

[music ends]

-Wanna get back to our poker game? -No.

Are Dita and Toni really friends?

All they do is fight like babies.

They don't even love each other.

-Even if they fight a bit… -[Mia] Hmm?

…they're still friends.

As if they don't love each other.

Twenty years they've loved each other.

More than any other two people.

But Toni loves boys.

Dita loves mum.

It's a different kind of love, hon.

But just as strong.

The strongest.

[call to prayer in distance]

[Ali grunts]

[in French] "I launch the attack and I mount the assault

Like a choir of maggots after a cadaver

And I cherish, o beast implacable and cruel

Even this coldness that increases your beauty"

[laughs]

I understood fuck all.

-[laughing] -[sets down cup]

[Elena continues laughing]

-[rhythmic rattling] -[Mia singing in other room]

Easy, man.

Dude, the girl's right there.

Turn it down.

♪ If it hurts ♪

♪ Come, I'm a doctor ♪

Quieter, dude.

Quieter.

-Dude! -[rattling stops]

[sighs]

[Mia continues singing]

[door opens, slams shut]

-Have you gone mad? -Fuck off.

[slams shut]

What's with the dude?

Go play downstairs with Elena.

Come on.

[phone buzzing]

-Who's this guy? -Wha--

-Who's this guy? -What's with you?

-Tell me! -Tell you what?

You're gonna play dumb? Or am I the dumb one?

-Let me go! What are you on about? -Who is he? Who is he?

Get off him! Get the hell off! Animal!

Go get fucked in the fucking face!

Eat my dick, faggot!

[footsteps running]

-Shithead. -Motherfucking…

Tilt it back.

-It needs gauze. -It doesn't.

He better clear the hell out of here.

Fuck your fucking seed.

Jesus, man.

Psychodrama, huh?

Put on some underpants at least.

And you? Why won't you listen?

Tilt your damn head back.

-[Teuta] Girl, what's up? -[door opens, slams shut]

What is going on here?

I must have grabbed her one. Her phone.

-By accident. -[Dita scoffs]

-What? -That was her damn phone!

Fuck your whole damn tribe.

Okay, get out now.

Get the hell out.

[knocking on door]

[rattling doorknob]

[rattling doorknob]

Vanesa's inside.

Come.

[Ali crying]

[chattering]

-[knocking on door] -[opera playing]

[Teuta] Oh, my God, dude. We all need to pee.

[pounding on door]

-Quit banging already! -Let me.

Vanesa, love?

No one can hold it in anymore.

Come on, please. We'll sort everything out.

I can't go in the yard again. The neighbor's onto me.

I'm begging you.

Come on, only one motherfucking toilet works.

-[giggling] -You hear?

[Mia] Motherfucking…

Motherfucking!

Hey. Knock harder.

Get ready.

We're leaving.

[footsteps departing]

[Mia] Bye!

Had to put on a faggy T-shirt?

[Mia] Toni loves boys.

[doorbell rings]

[people chattering, laughing]

You fucking nuts?

Ah! Look who's come to us!

Good morning!

Come in…

[game playing on TV]

-[Mia] Hi! -Hi!

-I'm Mia. -This is Mia. This is her sister Vanesa.

-This is Vanesa. I'm Mia. -[Nela] Keep an eye on them.

Wanna change the dolls' hair and dresses?

-Who's this? -Joana.

Joana? She looks like…

She looks like Elsa.

-Everybody meet Dua. -Dita, Dita.

She works with my wife. Doll face, bring plates.

I'm Beti. This is Vaska.

That's Stefania down the end.

[Neno] If anyone's up for brandy, this one's homemade.

[traffic passing in distance]

[Alek] My brother-in-law's in Zurich.

And sure, he says there's money, work.

Real health care, a legal system.

But look, man, there's things missing too.

-[Nela] Like what, for example? -[Alek] This is what's missing.

To see your bro over there, you have to book two weeks ahead.

[Beti] Dita says you're in health care.

-He's at Neuromedica. -Ah…

-Towards the airport? -Mm-hmm.

The last couple of years must have been tough?

You're maybe more into the tennis?

I see you don't watch soccer.

[Nela] Can we maybe cheer things up?

[Ninoslav] I'm not the one that brought up Switzerland.

[girls chattering]

-[girl] You take a doll. -[Mia] This one?

Where you going? Vanesa?

[sighs]

[chattering]

[Alex] What'd I tell you?

[Ninoslav] Look at everyone that leaves.

They head West, pump out all these kids,

bring them back for holidays.

[Nela] Give this man a drink.

-[Ninoslav] Their kids have no soul. -[Vaska] He has a drink!

Look at Pumpa's kids, Machor's…

You couldn't pay me enough to move there.

-Me neither. -Here is the best.

[Stefania] Her hair's really nice.

-What? -She says her hair's nice.

Yes. Your hair is really nice.

That's my color too actually.

But my guy here won't let me keep it natural.

So I have to color it.

That's right.

[Miki] Do you color your hair, bro?

[laughter]

[Beti] Destroyed him!

[men shouting, cheering]

Dita. Come for a sec.

[Vaska] 'Cause really us Macedonians are cosmopolitans.

[Vanesa] Where babies come from?

You're confident you know where?

[Mia] Yes.

It's from the stomach?

You're 100% sure?

Well, you're wrong.

Look, I'll show you. It's this bit further down.

Here, this is where babies come from.

Hang on, hang on. Sophie? Wanna try a puff?

-Come on, come on! -But I like it here now!

Leave us alone, woman. We're having fun.

Man, you're the one that brought me here.

Listen up, everyone, listen!

She's not my mum!

-And this guy's not my dad. -Out.

They're both faggots! They kidnapped me!

-Kidnapped me! -[Dita] Out! Out!

[retching, coughing]

[sighs]

[Mia singing downstairs]

-Go watch Mia downstairs. -I'll go.

Give me the phone.

Give it here.

Give it back, whore!

[Teuta] What the hell?

Let me finish my text at least.

Give my phone back or I'm calling the police.

-[Dita laughing] -Give me it. Give it back.

-All right then. -[phone dialing]

-Hello? -[woman speaking over phone]

I've been kidnapped.

-A cult of gays. -[laughing]

Samuil Street, 108.

-Vanesa Selimi. -Acevski.

They've taken my phone.

-Please hurry up. -[mimicking Vanesa]

Thank you.

Too late, too late. They're on their way.

No chance.

No chance.

-Toni! -[vocalizing]

Everybody out!

Right away.

-What now? -The police. Vanesa called them.

Here? Police?

Grab everybody upstairs and get out.

I'll ring after. Toni?

Toni's upstairs, upstairs! Upstairs, auntie!

[Dita] Grab anything that looks gay. I'll ring after.

Hey, breathe, breathe. Calm down.

Get out! Now!

-Jeezus! -[Dita] Ali too! Take him with you!

[Mia] For real?

-Take that off. -What?

[Mia] For real or what?

Dear God, what is going on?

-Put this on. -[Mia] Flunking hell!

What the dick? You put it on.

-Easy, woman, easy! Okay! -[Mia laughing]

I swear to God.

-Take Ali too. -Ali's gone.

-What do you mean, gone? -No!

Well, he got sick to his head of Mike Tyson over here.

[Mia] What's she saying? He's got a headache?

Fine, make a move.

So you're kicking me out of your, like, "safe house"?

Police is coming to take the kids.

[opera music playing]

-[music stops] -[clock ticking]

[insects chirping]

[doorbell rings]

[knocking on door]

[door creaks open]

Good evening.

We've had a call from this address.

Ah, well, the husband's daughter.

Loves nothing more than to humiliate me.

Though this is a new high, even for her.

Here she is. If you'd like.

Her mother passed away.

Not long ago.

She wasn't a moral woman.

Their mother.

She would bring home men all the time…

All kinds of men…

That's why

me and…

This here, my wife… Because of that…

Because it's very important…

for children when they're growing up…

to have a mother.

A mother and…

and a father.

Isn't it?

[clock ticking]

-[officer] Goodbye. -[Toni] Goodbye.

[door closes]

[thunder rumbling]

-[chattering] -[phone ringing]

Morning.

Wanna know what I think?

[papers rustling]

[typing]

-[children chattering] -[bell chiming]

-Hi. -Hi.

-Did Ali come back? -Hmm?

Ali's not back?

-No, hon, come-- -Vanesa!

Is Ali back?

[line ringing]

-Vanesa where are you? -[bottles clattering]

[Mia chattering]

[clock chiming]

Can you get Vanesa?

She's not home yet.

What do you mean, she's not home?

She's just not.

[line ringing]

[voicemail message plays]

Again voicemail.

-You'll give Mia dinner? -Mm-hmm.

Get dressed.

We're going to Shutka.

[people chattering]

Hey, kid! Kid!

We're looking for a guy called Ali.

Do you know him?

He's about this tall,

skinny, dyed hair, eyes bright green.

Which Ali, bro? There's a hundred here.

-Ali the fag. -Oh, him! This way.

[Toni] You think I'm an idiot?

Think I have a range to choose from?

Guys my age?

Each one more stable than the last?

Tell him you were wrong.

Don't fuck with him. Say the words.

[knocking on door]

[children chattering]

[sighs]

Have you spoken to Vanesa?

[woman] Who is it?

-[Dita] Hello. -[girl] Hello.

Doan, Doan…

I'm sick of all this.

Here, she follows three Doans on Insta, but I don't know them.

Let Toni look. He saw that photo on her phone.

I just saw older white creeps.

Maybe this Doan in the middle. How do I know?

-How do you not know? -It wasn't his face in the foreground.

And who's it gonna be?

She'd hardly chase after Fatso over here, or Monobrow.

Surely the girl has some taste?

It's sound logic. Must be the middle guy. For sure.

You know him?

I don't, but Servet the Other Gay surely does.

Servet the what?

Babe, no way Doan was engaged to your friend.

I would've heard.

-Let's not fuck around. -Vanesa said he dumped his ex.

Him? Dump Indira?

Indira's daddy runs Shutka.

You dump his girl, you end up fertilizer.

Shit, man…

Doan was just getting some on the side with your friend.

Nah, man! Vanesa's not that kind of girl.

Vanesa's not that kind of girl?

Honey, we're all that kind of girl.

-Whatever. -Oh, bro…

Come in. We'll wait for Doan.

His mum's putting on tea.

Thanks. It's just we're in a hurry.

His mum says to check the cemetery.

-What, he's died? -No.

He's been playing basketball.

Behind the walls.

Doan, Doan?

Which one's Doan?

What, dude? What is this?

He hasn't seen Vanesa.

-She wasn't at school? -She hasn't been in ages!

-You're not together anymore? -What's it to you, dude?

Why you getting mixed up in my affairs?

-Who's she with now? -Her cousin or uncle or whatever.

-Off to Hungary, I don't know. -Hungary?

-Her uncle Ferus? -What the hell do I know, man.

[Dita] What?

[Ali] I don't work with them anymore.

They used to transport to Vienna, but I really don't know.

And I really don't work with them anymore.

Now I guess they drive to Budapest.

Go straight here.

I thought they were cousins.

Uncles, cousins, I don't give a dick. I'll scalp the motherfuckers.

[Ali] Left here.

And did you feel good about yourself, helping them?

Yo. Give the guy a break.

When it was me, I was just driving boxes.

And in the boxes? Toys and firecrackers, huh?

The girls go 'cause they want to. Ferus takes no one by force.

Wow. Deserves a medal. The gentleman.

You two wait here.

[knocking on door]

-Nora, babe, is grandma home? -What you doing back here?

Got a smoke?

Fuck this, I swear…

[knocking on door]

-Where's Vanesa? -Who are you?

-Where the fuck is Vanesa? -Whoa, whoa!

It's a confused girl I'm talking about.

-Nah… -Is she here?

Damn it. I said I'm handling it.

[Dita] Vanesa.

[Ali] It's okay. She's with me.

Didn't I say I'd--

-Look who's come. -Ferus, bro!

I was just asking for you.

I just need a tiny favor and I'll be out of your way.

I won't cause you trouble, you know me.

What's this woman so mad about?

-Goddamn! -Come, come on…

Vanesa?

Vanesa.

Who the hell are you?

Vanesa… Vanesa!

-Are you okay? -Stay close to me.

Bro, I owe you.

But princess, she won't give you Amsterdam.

[Ali] Everything okay?

[Vanesa sniffles]

You don't maybe have some

pregnancy pills I could borrow?

Why would you, I know. I don't know why I'm asking.

[sniffles]

Did they do something bad to you? In there?

No.

Not really.

What do you mean, not really?

-What do you mean? -I don't know.

Did you have…

relations with someone?

[Vanesa sniffles]

Did you want to?

-Or you said no to him? -I don't know.

[sniffles, crying]

Whatever happens,

we'll take care of it.

Don't worry.

[Toni] I do everything wrong.

[birds chirping]

[applause]

[cheering]

Come on, smiling.

-Ready? -Yes!

Okay, smiling!

[chattering]

-One more? -Yes!

-[balloons popping] -[children laughing]

[popping continues]

You were right all along.

I'm not a mother.

And I never will be.

Not yours.

Not anyone's.

But maybe something like a sister?

I could be that?

That I know how to do.

Keep out of your way.

But stick around.

For when you might need someone.

Because it doesn't go away.

The needing.

Not even when you get old.

It's a nasty business.

Do we have a deal?

Hmm?

[Ali] One, two, three and:

♪ The lady student must be healthy ♪

♪ Be healthy… ♪

One more balloon, one more!

♪ Must be healthy, must be! ♪

[singing continues]

[singing stops]

["La Catedral" playing]

[music fades]

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