Original subtitles

I think you have a problem with Peabody.

He's come a long way. I want to give him the shot.

-Jobs go to who's qualified, man. -You--

NARRATOR: Previously on Hill Street Blues...

Ernesto, you got friends out here.

-He want anything specific? -Safe place.

(gunshots)

It's all right, don't shoot! All right, it's cool, it's cool!

Damn!

He's finished.

-Who started it? -They came in to pay back the Blood,

about 20 Diablos in four cars.

Jimmy tells me you might have an interest in making some other loans.

You might want to put some dough on the street.

That's a definite possibility.

Franco approached Wachtel

to toss the South Ferry bust on these video poker games.

Alan had agreed to wear a wire on these guys.

We had arranged a meeting for tonight at the Lucky Deuce.

So help me, I think I'm becoming an excitement junkie.

-What is Apollo? -Apollo-- Apollo, my horse.

And if the city council doesn't want him, I do, and I'm gonna keep him!

Mr. Franco says search him.

What are you gonna do? Search him or kiss him?

Keep the door jamb. Go on, go on!

You're an excitable guy, Mike.

-What do you really want? -I need for us to be separate.

Then I guess that's what we'll have to do.

-(indistinct chatter) -LUCY: Okay, people. Shut up!

Item five,

last night, the Diablos and the Bloods squared off on South Dekker.

We got two dead, five wounded.

Worst single gang incident in the last five years.

Now, people, this is gonna get bad, real bad.

But I strongly recommend that if you patrol on gang turf, you wear that vest.

Now, related arrest warrants will be posted upstairs, check them out.

Most important being Marcus Peabody who's now head of the Blood.

-(indistinct chatter) -(shushing)

And Jesus Martinez.

I'm the one who's getting married. It's not you.

So you don't even need to worry about it.

-Andy? -What?

Just let me know when I can go on, okay?

Sarge, I'm sitting here on the eve of my nuptials,

and two of my groomsmen and my best man

have yet to darken the door of Sam's Tuxedos--

This is roll call, Officer Renko.

Thank you very much.

Try to treat people like adults, look what they do to you.

-Look what they've done-- -Item six,

Mick Belker's operation straight flush.

Now, this is the try at taking down the illustrious Lester Franco.

It looks like it's turned into a loan-sharking undercover.

And note, Mick says no cops will get paper.

(laughter)

Patrols, he's working out of the Lucky Deuce on Arnold Street.

Last item.

What you probably already know,

today begins what we hope will be a long and prosperous run

for Lieutenant Calletano on the game show Lucky Ducks.

(quacking)

Which reminds me of one of only three jokes that I know--

-MAN: Hey, don't tell it! -Yeah.

Which is a fat guy goes into a bar with a duck on his head.

Bartender says, "Hey, where'd you get the pig?"

Guys says, "It's not a pig, it's a duck."

Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."

(groaning and quacking)

Yucka, yucka, yucka.

Okay, let's roll. Let's be careful out there.

(indistinct chatter)

All right, those who wish to remain in Andrew Renko's wedding party,

at 9:30 a.m. this morning, barring unforeseeable accident,

please show up at Sam Waterloo's Tuxedos.

Good morning, Howard. How are you this fine day?

-I'm fair, Ray. -Just fair?

It seems that my Apollo has come down with a bit of a sniffle.

I am sure he'll be just fine, though.

Uh, well, he's at the vet.

Now, you know, a good horse takes sickness hard.

He'll come back quick, but he takes it hard.

That's wonderful, Howard. I am so happy for you.

Are you doing that game show today?

The coordinator told me, "Start when you open your eyes.

Cheerful, enthusiastic.

Embrace the day with open arms."

And this, A Hundred and One Thousand Facts.

Lucky Ducks takes its questions from it.

Do you know who founded the United States Coast Guard, Howard?

Yes, yes, Alexander Hamilton.

Lucy. Oh, Lucy, please.

Why can't you ask yourself these questions?

I'd cheat. Now, please.

-Just one. -A hard one.

Okay.

"During the siege of Calais in 1346,

in what township was David II of Scotland defeated and taken prisoner?"

WOMAN (on radio): Dispatch. We have a 9-11.

Armed robbery in progress.

See Surplus Store, corner People's Drive and 124th Street.

(sirens wailing)

(theme music playing)

-Here you go, man. -Oh, thanks, man.

Heedlock? Tony Heedlock.

What the hell kind of name is Heedlock?

This is it? This is the description they got?

The call just said he picks up the racing form here every morning.

But the tip came in for Finnegan, man. Night shift can't make its own busts?

Hey, Finnegan's wife went into labor last night, man.

Hey, why don't you gripe some more, huh, babe, huh?

-Come on. -Hey, this guy fits.

Tony? Tony Heedlock?

Hey, wait a second, man.

-We just want to talk to you, Tony. -Hey, hold up! Police!

Move it!

Slow down, man! Slow down!

Police! Freeze it! Hit the wall!

-Let's move it! -I didn't do anything!

What are you running for? Come on, up against it.

I thought you guys were gonna rob me!

I swear, I didn't do anything!

You ain't got nothing to worry about, right, Tony?

-Let's go, man. -Let's move it.

Captain, we just picked up Marcus Peabody. ETA's five minutes.

-You have the raw files on last night? -My Diablo party?

Four sightings of Marcus leading the Blood.

-Nobody ID'ed Jesus. -Anything to incriminate Peabody?

You should've been at the Lucky Deuce last night, Frank.

Yeah, I hear things were a little hairy.

I don't know if you're punning, but I can tell you in a serious vein,

thank God for Michael Belker.

Uh, did you run the particulars for Ray? He's coordinating. Ray.

Franco's goon paid me half the bribe.

I get the other half when I rule on that liquor authority bust this morning.

-The straight flush undercover. -We got Lester Franco

by the proverbials, Lieutenant, whole transaction on tape.

-You've done a heck of a job, Alan. -So, when do we spring the trap, Frank?

When do we close our jaws and grind these vermin to pulp?

Bernstein will keep you posted--

-I really have to-- -Captain, Peabody.

You got charges, Furillo?

I have a promise.

Your gang did crimes last night. We're gonna put those people away.

That's your thing, ain't it? Busting who gets attacked.

And yours is seeing yourself as a victim.

We know the Diablos moved on the Blood. That doesn't give you license to kill.

Look, don't tell me my rights, Furillo.

I stopped playing by your rules yesterday.

Your sad story interests me not at all, Marcus.

Yesterday, you may have been trying to help.

Today, you're part of the problem.

This is notice.

I want a truce, and I'm gonna squeeze you hard till I get it

or till I get you out.

Is that a fact?

Yeah, well, don't squeeze too hard.

That's it. Make the mistake.

Let's deliver, Henry.

Blood gets no rhythm.

Every bust sticks, no matter how low-rent.

-So do we go hard on the Diablos, too? -Not till we talk to Jesus.

He may have heard things by then.

-Hi. -Hi.

I was trying to sell my mother's old car.

And this guy who got hurt, Phil,

he kept saying the transmission was shot.

He didn't get hurt, Mr. Heedlock. He's in a coma.

Now, the two of you left the bar together?

Yeah, he kept saying he wanted to test drive it again,

so we drove it around a little while, and then he asked me to let him off.

Then sayonara, the next thing I know, I'm under arrest.

Is this rap sheet correct? You've never been arrested?

Absolutely.

I mean, come on, they bring me in here for robbery and attempted homicide,

and my mom will tell you, I don't even swat flies.

Now, do you think we can get to court before lunch?

Why is that, Mr. Heedlock?

I have a job appointment. I'm my mama's sole support.

Mr. Heedlock, I'm your advocate. Spare me the job appointments, all right?

You've got an out-of-state record, don't you?

What are you talking about?

Your rap sheet didn't pick up the out-of-states.

You're angling for a fast arraignment before the BCI check

shows you've been a bad boy in a few jurisdictions.

(chuckles)

Look, my mama's gonna meet us at court with some references,

so can we hurry up?

Give me your statement.

Well, what do you all think?

-I don't know, Andy. -Kind of bluish.

Funny, it doesn't look bluish.

Renko, do you think her dad is really gonna fit in this.

Well, he's almost the same size as you are, Rudy.

-No kidding? -Say, how's this color for girth?

You said you wanted a pastel. Thank you very much.

She said it, not me.

Fantastic.

-Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. -BOBBY: It'll be fine, Andy.

I don't know if these look so good, you know.

These cuffs are--

Hey, what are you doing? Hey, you crazy, man?

Sorry, son, instructions from the credit card company.

-Take off the suits. -We got a gig in an hour!

My cousin's getting married!

-You're gonna blow the whole thing! -That's not my problem!

Now, come on, take off the monkey suits.

We don't want to make a federal case out of this.

They are going to be 400 people there! What are they gonna do for music?

The suits come off now!

-What is going on here, Sam? -Guy's plastic's no good,

and they're making a federal case.

Why don't you mind your own business, pork lips?

-Yeah! -Let me tell you something.

That man just asked you to get out of those tuxedos.

What, you want us to get out of these tuxedos?

-(fabric rips) -There!

-Don't rip! Don't rip! -There!

(laughing)

That is real funny, there, boy.

But I'll tell you what's funnier.

You look right here at all my friends,

they're all policemen, and you're under arrest.

(shouting)

Hey, careful! Watch it!

Easy! Easy! That's merchandise!

Don't trash the store, huh?

That's enough!

Look at this mess! Who's gonna pay for this?

(police radio chatter)

-2203 responding. -Hands behind your back.

Hey, Joe, we got a disturbance call.

Stay put, now.

-All right, it's your collar, guys. -All right. Get my cuffs.

Oh, Lordy! Look what this little mutant's done

to my brand-new wedding suit!

MICK: Something I can help you with?

Yeah, I'm looking to borrow some money.

-I'm looking for Lester Franco. -You can talk to me.

-Franco let you make loans? -That depends how much and for what.

Joey, what do you say?

Hey, Mr. Franco. Somebody here to see you.

-Somebody who? -Marcus Peabody.

So, what can I do for you, Marcus Peabody?

I need 25 grand.

Same arrangement you gave Lewis Joyce.

-MAN: What's good, Joey? -LESTER: You know Lewis?

MARCUS: He's my half-brother.

LESTER: Sit down here.

Can I get you something from the bar, Marcus?

-NG, Mike. -What?

I told you, anything controversial, refer it back to Lester.

What's controversial?

A smoke in gang colors? Come on.

LESTER: And the purpose of this loan,

would this be in the same area that Lewis

-was involved with? -Right.

Of course, a loan like this, Marcus, we get 50 points a week,

plus a certain amount of supervision,

plus a certain amount of product control until the money's satisfied.

So, when do I get the money?

Hey, hey, take it easy, here. (speaks Italian)

Give us a chance to do a little credit work on you.

Uh, now, Lewis, he's away, ain't he? He's in the joint?

He gets calls between 11:00 and 11:30.

So we'll give him a call. Ask around in a few places.

-Ask about what? -About you.

Hey, don't worry. We don't care if you're late paying your phone bill.

Let me tell you what you want to know, man, all right.

I got a war. I'm gonna move some stuff to pay for it.

You get 50 points a week.

LESTER: Hey, Marcus, don't get excited over here.

You're asking us to come up with a big number.

Give us a few hours to look into you.

Come on, come on. Be optimistic.

You know, it don't do me no good keeping my money in my pockets.

Come on. I'll walk you out.

-So, I'll hear from you today? -Absolutely. Take in a movie or something.

-What is it with this guy? -I was just telling him, Mr. F.

-It was my mistake. -The mulignans, Mike,

you're probably better off leaving to me,

especially when it comes to pushing dope.

You're gonna make him the loan?

We'll see how he checks out.

I love this little guy.

Always looking to get in trouble.

Come on, Mike. I'll buy you a beer.

(tires screech)

-There he is. Bust him. -What's he doing?

He's getting rich. People are lining up, bringing him stuff.

Eggshells, razors, bugs.

My clientele don't like crowds.

-RUDY: What's he doing with the car? -What's it look like?

-Hang on to this. -I said 20 bucks for the whole interior.

Hey, I got scruples. I don't eat nothing religious.

-Sir, is this your car? -He towed it here.

It's a junker. I use it to get attention.

RUDY: This car belong to anybody here?

All right, sir, you're gonna have to come with us.

-I'm just getting started. -No, you're just getting arrested.

-What's the charge? -Public nuisance, okay?

And if you don't come along, it's resisting, too.

Aw, come on!

Hey!

It's a crime to have talent? Huh?

People come to me with their sadistic impulses.

I turn that impulse around, that's all! I'm an artist! I am an artist!

Put your hands up.

-What happened to your finger? -Huh? Oh, I, uh--

Hey, don't ask.

He likes carrots, Doctor.

If anything will get him on his feet it's...

You know, I was just remembering, uh,

of course, this is without scientific basis,

but we used to use warm water and clove.

Well, it's bad when a horse lies down like this, isn't it, Doctor?

No, no, you won't see any flagging of hope from this quarter, sir,

and you do know that I'm more than willing to come to the stable.

Thank you. You do have the number?

-MAN: What's the biggest thing? -Thank you, Doctor.

(indistinct chatter)

You ever eat a firecracker?

Come on. Dynamite, fulminate of mercury, nitroglycerin.

Where's my pen? Where's my retractable?

Maybe you want to be his manager, Rudy, huh?

You, if you think eating my pen is gonna get you outta here, you're wrong!

(grunting)

-What's the matter? -What are you doing?

I was fooling around. I was bored.

This is a felt tip.

-(thud) -(shouting)

You come into my place like that again, I'm gonna tear you up!

-Sounds like a threat. -A stone guarantee.

Easy, Jesus.

They came into the place without warrants. Their pieces were out.

That's great, Jesus.

When did you become such a constitutional lawyer?

My kid and wife were there.

Thanks, Lucy.

You best call your people off, Furillo. I ain't lying!

The Diablos were in a pitched battle last night,

-and I want some answers from you. -JESUS: Anyone see me there?

Am I overestimating you, Jesus?

Diablos go for a payback without you in front?

I was in a motel on the parkway.

I got a photo of me and the clerk

in front of a television at the 11:00 news.

Sort of suggests you knew trouble was coming, Jesus.

What? Is that a crime now?

-I don't buy that you're out as leader. -Buy it, Furillo.

I walked out of the war council last night.

-I laid down my colors. -What would it take to get you back?

You ain't got it, bro.

I need someone to standoff with Marcus.

-I need a leader to speak for a truce. -I can't do it, not even if I wanted to.

Diablos won't take peace as long as Peabody's breathing.

They would if you led them to it.

You want me back?!

I gotta kill a Blood in his colors. Are you willing to pay the price?!

I'll save you the problem, Furillo.

I ain't willing.

I got a wife and a Joselito. Life goes on, bro.

We're through.

I hope your alibi stands up 'cause we're gonna solve these shootings.

I'll get you a photo as soon as the roll is developed.

Listen, Frankie.

My sympathies for your situation.

My sympathies for what's coming.

FRANK: Okay, Henry. Rouse the Diablos, too.

He's right. It'll be like '78, all-out war.

Would you excuse us a minute, Henry?

Sure.

How are you?

Okay. How are you?

-Where'd you sleep? -The Warrick.

Did we ever have 308?

(laughs)

I don't know. I don't remember.

I feel so totally strange, Frank. I...

I want to see you so much.

Can we have dinner? Is that all right?

Sure.

I love you, Frank.

I love you.

I'll check later, see how your time's going.

-Ms. Davenport. -Yes.

We've got the mother of Tony Heedlock out here.

Thank you.

Captain, I think I can help you with this gang thing.

-How? -Marcus Peabody comes in an hour ago

and asks Franco to bankroll a drug deal.

They're meeting in a little while to do the loan.

If you want to send some guys over there, we can take them both.

-Is there any way to access the drugs? -Might be possible.

Franco wants one of his people babysitting.

I'd really like to take Peabody holding.

Okay, let's follow this one a little further.

Yes, sir.

-Frequent contact, Mick. -Yes, sir.

Henry.

(door closes)

Mick thinks he may have a way to Peabody.

-Sure not gonna bust him for last night. -(water running)

Let me get way out of line.

Everything okay between you and Joyce?

We separated last night.

Ooh.

-I'm sorry. -Is it that obvious?

I don't know. I just recognized the look from when Rachel and I split up.

-Let's hope it's only for a few weeks. -Oh, yeah.

I'm sure you'll get back together again.

Anyway, any time you'd like to talk...

Thanks, Henry.

I thought we were going to meet at the courthouse, Mrs. Heedlock.

Tony thought this might save time.

I brought his last pay stub, statement of an alibi witness,

his rental lease with his name on it, here's statements of neighbors.

Tony's a saint in our building.

I'm sure he is.

Here's the number of the probation department.

They make out the bail report.

Yeah, I already dropped copies with them.

Got to have Tony out, you know?

-He's my sole support. -He told me.

You're going to get him into court before lunch, then?

Did Tony tell you why that was important, Mrs. Heedlock?

He's trying to end run some out-of-state warrants.

He told me it was for the job interview, and I believe him.

Oh, excuse me, Ms. Davenport.

It's all right, Lieutenant. Good luck today.

Thank you. I think I'm gonna need it.

(sirens wailing)

(tires screeching)

Hey, mister... that's gonna get you some days, pal.

For blowing gauge, man. You're outta your mind!

Yeah? Concealed weapon, huh?

-Nay, man. I do computer repairs! -Sell the business.

HOWARD (on megaphone): Do not attempt to run or resist arrest.

All those not being detained will please clear the area.

All those being detained, take note of this date.

Those that can write, inscribe it on your calendar.

As of today, you will not wear colors

and drop gum wrappers in the street.

You will not wear them and play loud music.

Who you think you're hassling, sucker?

Isn't it pretty clear who we're hassling?

We're hassling you!

(indistinct chattering)

Mikey...

What's doin'?

-Coffee? -No.

(sniffs, groans)

Jeez, Mike.

This guy Marcus came up 40 different kinds of trouble.

-He's not getting the loan? -Well, in the past 24 hours,

he gets fired from his city job,

croaks some PR who's holding him hostage.

And he's involved in a gang war.

JIMMY: He's really on a roll, your friend Marcus.

Hey, he wants to move drugs. He's not gonna be "citizen of the year."

-(bangs table) -Hey, now let's keep it

friendly here, Marcus.

-Let's stay smart. -Man, how you gonna be smart, man?

-I come to you-- -No question about that.

The problem is you're hot.

I got a war to finance!

-You want a 100 points? 150? -The vig don't make no difference.

I'm trying to make some sense to you here.

Look, either I move soda or I take it off of somebody else.

-I know who you bankroll. -You see, now you're making threats.

You got that right, man! I'll take you on!

Calm down. Calm down. No, Jimmy, no, no! Joey!

Just let go of me right now, and we'll talk some business.

Let go of me.

You're this serious about this?

You're willing to spend 150 points for this?

That's what I said.

Give me about an hour to come up with the dough.

You know where this is?

I didn't mean to get evil.

-I got a temper. -It's all right.

This is serious. It's important to you.

I'll see you in an hour, Marcus.

(laughs)

If you want to piece some of that out, Mr. F., 150 points sounds very good to me.

We're finished for the day here, Mike, all right?

-See you tomorrow. -Yeah, I--

Stop giving me this conversation all the time, all right, Mike?

-Yeah. -Forget the loan.

Just clean this up here. Come on.

JIMMY: You're not gonna go in business with him?

All right, come on, Joycie. What's the score?

-Are we dealing with a scum wad here? -Read the probation report, Your Honor.

(sighs)

All right, lease, references, mother sole support...

-No priors. Weak case? -So-so.

Just happened, Judge. We're still working on it.

Victim's in a coma.

I wouldn't say this guy's a saint.

-You're assuming he's guilty. -What bail can he make, Joyce?

My client's informed me he's indigent.

If he could get out, his former employer's here.

Uh, Judge, I would just like to say the accused was one of my best employees.

You can have a job with me whenever you get out, Mr. Heedlock.

Sorry, Judge.

Heartwarming.

Okay, step back.

Mr. Heedlock.

(clears throat)

I commend you.

Your mother made a fine impression on the probation department.

You got a clean record.

And for these reasons, I'm setting a bargain-basement bail.

$12,000, $1,200, cash alternative.

I told you my client was indigent.

JUDGE: Of course.

Well, then, he'll stay in the pokey where an attempted homicide suspect belongs!

But please know, Mr. Heedlock, how impressed I was.

-(bangs gavel) -Next case.

-I keep thinking of the Mad Hatter. -Excuse me, Ms. Davenport?

Uh, nothing, Your Honor. Off the record.

-Where do I pay bail? -The indigent mother?

Buzz off.

JUDGE: Will counsel approach?

MAN: Down the hall, make a left.

Hey, Neal, I've got Heedlock's FBI sheet.

Man, the guy's run bunco in six states.

He's got two assaults and armed robbery for good measure.

-Too late, man. -Gentlemen.

Hey, Heedlock, nice.

Tony Northrop in Georgia. Tony Grumman in Florida.

Tony McDonnell. Tony Douglas.

-What's "Heedlock"? -Oh, "Lockheed" turned around.

-(elevator door opens) -What can I say? I like airplanes.

You better show up for your day in court, man, or we're coming to get you.

Uh, excuse me.

-Heedlock, that was your case, right? -Sure. Why?

Well, I'm just wondering, you see, I'm a law student.

Did you know he had all these priors?

Have you studied attorney-client privilege yet?

Yeah, but I'm just saying, knowing that, as a lawyer, doesn't it make you sick?

I can't afford to be sick all the time, Detective.

I am a little nervous. Can you tell?

Nothing to worry about. Everybody gets a little nervous.

-Everybody? Really? -Why, of course.

-And most of them do just fine? -(knock on door)

-I am just a little concerned. -MAN: Need you on stage in five minutes.

I have an uncertain stomach.

Very few people actually barf.

MAN: Let's have a hand for our next contestant...

(cheers)

BOBBY: Hush up, you guys. He looks nervous.

NEAL: Looks kind of skinny on TV.

...friends say he has an arresting personality.

A warm welcome to Lieutenant Ray Calletano.

You ready to play, Ray?

Yes.

Good, let's see if we can get you started before commercial.

Take your first shot, Ray.

-Come on, Lieutenant! -All right!

-How many ducks has he got to get? -Just one duck per question.

-You know, if he answers it-- -He's got to just keep shooting ducks?

-(indistinct chatter) -(gunshot)

He got it! He got it!

$50 is an American history duck.

Here's your question.

What president made his home at the Virginian estate of Monticello?

(music plays)

Was it Thomas Jefferson?

Thomas Jefferson is right!

(cheering)

...rotate these ducks and Lieutenant Ray Calletano

will take his second shot after these commercial messages.

Hey, all right, all right, all right!

Looks like he copped a groove, huh?

Stay as close as you can, Mick.

Yeah, keep me posted.

Thanks a lot, mister.

For what?

The message you left on my machine.

Amazing as it may seem to you, Frank, I have a social life, too.

When you and Joyce cancel plans to take Frank Jr. for the weekend--

-We've separated, Fay. -Who has?

Joyce and I.

Oh, boy.

She said she needs time to sort things out.

Says it'll only be a couple of weeks.

I don't know what happened.

Oh. (sighs)

I-I wish I could think of some awful cliché

that would somehow be comforting.

It's all right.

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

"You have your health, you have everything?"

"An apple a day--" No, that makes no sense!

-As if the others did. -(both laughing)

"He who laughs last..."

"If at first you don't succeed..."

"Any port in a storm..."

How about the oldest one in the book?

"Your ex-wife still loves you."

(gunshot)

HOST: Got it!

Well, it's your sixth duck, Ray Calletano.

Now, if you can provide us with your sixth correct answer,

you'll boost your winnings to $3,500.

As importantly, that money will be sheltered

in a "Lucky Duck" blind.

If you should lose in a subsequent round, that money would still be yours.

-Are you ready? -Ready.

HOST: A number of cultures can lay historical claim

to the discovery of America.

Ray Calletano, for $3,500 and your first "Lucky Duck" blind,

name three of those cultures.

-(music plays) -I can only think of Columbus.

-Come on. -HOST: I can repeat the question once.

BOBBY: Come on.

Go for it.

BOBBY: What are you waiting for? Come on.

(buzzer sounds)

I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

We could have accepted Egyptians, Danes, Portuguese,

Spaniards, Indians, and Eskimos.

Well, many thanks

-to Lieutenant Ray Calletano. -Poor guy.

BOBBY: Cuts both ways, sometimes better being poor.

-Detectives... -Mrs. Heedlock.

Mrs. Heedlock nothing. I'm not his mother.

I got taken.

I give that bum every nickel, he loves me.

-He loves me forever? -What'd he do, ma'am?

He ran off with that whore!

His former employer. Gloria.

She's in on it, too. Big, wonderful Gloria with the big you-know-whats.

Ma'am, are you saying that he's jumping bail?

He's jumping her, he's jumping bail.

He stole all my money. I want his butt in the slam.

-You know where he's at? -At the hotel. The hotel at the airport.

MAN: You think I'd do that for just anybody, jerk face?

You ain't got the money.

You ain't got the money in a million years.

Okay, okay, what's going on?

They want to see me eat a finger.

I lived six months off of this one.

High on the hog. The best hotels.

You're lucky I eat a pair of pants for a lousy ten bucks.

-Where you going, Mikey? -Hey.

I saw the address Lester wrote. I just thought I'd come over.

Is that so?

Yeah, I want to be in on that loan, you know?

I want to back that guy.

Come here.

Get in.

So, what's going on?

Eh, the colored guy's late. So what else is new?

(laughs)

-Let me ask you a question. -What?

You got a crush on me?

(laughing) What do you mean?

A crush.

Well, what else are you doing here?

What's this vibe I'm getting off of you, huh?

I don't know. Maybe I got a little crush on you.

You ever kiss a guy, Mike?

I mean, not like your father or something.

Like a man... on the lips.

No.

'Cause I gotta tell you something.

From the very first time in the bar, I had eyes for you.

I mean, to me, you're like a beautiful little monkey.

(gunshots)

-What's going on? -What?

-(engine starts) -Oh, my God.

Hey, just calm down.

You're not even supposed to be here, you understand?

-What's he doing here? -I was just explaining it to him, Mr. F.

He'll explain! Bring him to the Deuce!

You're with him till then, Jimmy.

Now look what you did.

(engine starts)

HOWARD: How is he, Doctor?

-Lieutenant. -MAN: Quack-quack.

-Nice shooting, Lieutenant. -Thank you.

His fever's that high? What about his vital signs?

I'm on my way.

Mr. Heedlock. Grand larceny.

Complainant: Millie Heedlock.

There he is. Mr. Airplane.

Mr. B-52 and his tramp! They caught you, and I'm glad.

Did you think I was gonna stay with you, old bag?

You're too tired, too ugly.

Come on, we'll take your statement in the squad room.

Come this way.

The two of them were in the hotel by the airport. Just like she said.

Having a midair collision. (chuckles)

Ah, so soon we meet again.

Ships in the night, Mr. Heedlock.

You're not indigent, and I'm going on vacation in two days.

You'll be reassigned.

Hey, where you going? Antigua?

I'll make bail again. I'll see you down there.

Okay, Mr. Heedlock.

JOE: Hey, Renko, ready for tonight?

I have reservations on this rehearsal dinner, Joseph.

What do you mean? It's still at the Kubiak, right?

No, no, that's not what I mean. What I mean is, I'm concerned.

It's my first chance I'm going to meet my new relations,

and I want everything to go perfect.

The little fork's for the salads, Joe.

Hey, what am I, Conan?

-Kubiak. -7:30.

Bates. How many?

Address.

Got it.

Captain!

We got a gang hit. Five bodies. One of them Marcus Peabody.

-Did Belker phone it in? -No, a citizen.

-Where? -47th and Butler.

It's a warehouse. They say it's bad, it's a slaughterhouse.

(sirens wailing)

(indistinct chatter)

MAN: Make sure we get enough shots.

Captain Furillo?

-We're gonna need the 901. -MAN 2: It was a brutal massacre.

Members of two gangs which had previously been...

RAY: ...information so I can have the report ready.

One Blood survivor. He said he was mobbed.

When was the last contact we had with Belker?

Hour and a half.

We have to find him.

The Deuce, the Marin Club. The joint down by the ferry.

-Every one of their places. Let's move. -All right, Frank.

I don't want to hear about it anymore!

It's your business till it interferes with my business!

Jimmy and I had this conversation a long time ago.

-No argument, Mr. Franco. -"Oh, Mike's a right guy.

Mike's just following me around because he's got a crush!"

(spits)

Why should I have to worry about this?

Huh? And what you seen or didn't see?

He didn't see nothing, Mr. F.

Why should I have to worry about it?

Now what's it gonna be between the two of you, huh?

Up in the air.

Because you come in here with a little fresh dough,

you think it's a big deal to me?

I'd cut your heart out

-as soon as look at you. -(tires screeching in distance)

You wanna continue to do business, don't give me no more aggravation,

-you understand? -Yes, sir.

MAN (on megaphone): This is the police.

Lester Franco and all associates,

- come out with your hands up. -I don't believe this!

This is a lot of crap!

MAN (on megaphone): I repeat, come out with your hands up.

-You have 15 seconds. -Did you get 'em all? No witnesses?

-Took 'em all out. -All right, put the damn pieces down!

And open up the damn door!

This is wonderful!

(clattering)

-All right, back up. -Come on.

(overlapping chatter)

Hey.

I'm a cop, you dirt ball!

Mikey.

Great, Jimmy. You just killed us.

(indistinct chatter)

(glass clinking)

I'd like to propose a toast.

Uh, I'd just like to say,

first of all, that I never thought

I'd see the day that Andy Renko would tie the knot.

And you still ain't seen that day, Joe Coffey.

What you are seein' is the day before.

JOE: Yeah, well, you'll be there tomorrow,

because any guy would be a jerk to walk out on a bride

as sweet and as lovely as Daryl Ann.

So I just wish you all the happiness there is.

LUCY: Good luck.

Okay.

I tried to find a really great toast somewhere,

but they all seemed sort of corny,

so I just wish you good luck and, uh,

I hope you have a terrific life together,

and I think you make a really great couple.

-Cheer-cheer. -JOE: Salute. Salute.

Thank you, Lucille.

Uh, Mr. and Mrs. McConnicke, I'd like to thank you all

for coming and joining us tonight,

and I look forward to meeting all my new relations come tomorrow.

Uh, Joe, Lucille, Neal...

it's times like this when one realizes

how close one's friends are when you come to join me

at an important time like this for me in my life,

and I'd like to toast my Daryl Ann,

who is the most important thing that ever happened to me.

I love you, darlin'.

NEAL (chuckles): All right.

And Bobby Hill,

who had a small part in making me realize that.

God bless you all.

(clears throat)

Well, I'm not much for making toasts.

I'm about as good at that as Daryl Ann is at taking precautions.

Daddy!

(clears throat) But, uh, I want to say that I hope

the couple has a happy future...

(clears throat)

And I guess with so many police,

y'all never have to worry about parking tickets.

-(laughing) -That's right.

Or whatever part of town y'all find yourselves in.

And I've gotten a chance to know Bobby Hill a little,

and he seems like a real nice boy.

Best wishes to everybody.

(Bobby clears throat)

Uh, well, now...

Um, I want to thank Mr. McConnicke

and say it's a good thing he likes me

since I'm sure he's quite familiar with the old tradition

that if anything happens to the groom before the wedding,

then the best man is supposed to step right on in.

(laughter)

Well, I don't know what tradition that is,

but anybody runs out on my little girl

and I'm perfectly willing to take care of her and him myself.

(laughs) I don't know what either one of you guys are talking about

'cause you couldn't get me away from this beautiful girl with a tow truck.

Oh, that's not what anybody's talking about, Andy.

So, uh, you folks have a nice trip up?

You take the interstate?

JOYCE: I knew he was lying through his teeth.

I knew he wanted to get into court before his out-of-states did.

And I knew he was going to skip bail.

And I couldn't have cared less.

If you had, would you have done the job differently?

Not caring just made it easier.

(sighs)

To be filed under the category of "What kind of lawyer am I becoming?"

You always liked scampi.

I still do.

I'll have to stop by the apartment and pick up a few things.

-You don't have to ask permission. -I wasn't.

If I go away for a couple of weeks, you should use the apartment.

I don't think so,

but I'll still have to know your plans.

Sure.

I have to make plans, too.

I don't know whether to expect a card from the Shore...

or a phone call from your lawyer.

Do you think you're going to want a divorce?

I don't think so,

but I'm tired of being unhappy, Frank.

I'm tired of feeling lost inside.

I need two weeks of solitary just to locate myself.

Is there someone else?

Don't you know how much I love you, Pizza Man?

Then why is this happening?

(sighs) Loving each other is no guarantee

-we can make each other happy. -You make me happy.

How can you be happy if I'm not?

The simple fact of you in my life means everything to me.

I don't want that much power, Frank. It's suffocating me.

Well, uh, when you get back maybe we should see somebody,

get some help.

That's probably a good idea.

On the bright side...

-at least we have our health. -(laughs)

(thunder rumbles)

(horse neighs)

I'm back.

Rain ought to settle this dust.

Boy, iron content's a little high.

We'll have to see about a softener.

(groans)

Good boy. My good boy.

We got to get you shod one of these days.

Those damn city streets.

Hmm, try that kid with the freckles this time.

(whinnies)

Yeah, mm.

Can't find a decent smith anymore.

Sweet boy.

Damn. That wood's not treated.

You'll get splinters.

(sighs)

(sighs)

Faulkner.

I've found that if you read him in chronological order,

you see the depth of his humor.

He was some kind of a horse-trader, too.

(groans)

It's okay. You want to pass a little wind?

I'm here, boy.

(closing theme playing)