Original subtitles

NARRATOR: In the last episode of Hill Street Blues...

Oh, I just won 100 grand!

Get ready to roll 'em. Okay, there you go. Roll 'em.

(grunts)

A man is moving into the Dante Projects tomorrow

-who's running for mayor. -(laughter)

You told me you was gonna put me in charge.

You lied, man, and all the time, you're bringing him back, right?

I don't care if I am six points ahead in the polls,

if we don't walk the line on this, Fisk will close the gap like that.

We're scheduled an hour earlier for Lamaze class.

-I wouldn't miss it. -Home stretch, kiddo.

You know, maybe you should invest some of that money with Dale Carnegie.

NARRATOR: And now, tonight on Hill Street Blues...

-He lose a lot? -About ten grand.

But I think you've got a cop who's got a big problem.

And you put Jesus Martinez in jail, or this guy is gonna die!

You have given me as much support during these last three weeks

as any man's ever given me in my whole life.

I'll always love you for it.

(sighs)

(indistinct conversations)

ESTERHAUS: People, please!

A smidgen of forbearance.

Item 13...

as we brace ourselves for a day of record-breaking heat and humidity,

the bad news, in addition to the contrary nature

of our less-than-central air conditioning system

is the usual rise in robberies, aggravated assaults,

and domestic disputes.

The good news,

it's only 88 shopping days till Christmas.

-(groaning) -(sarcastically) Yee-ha!

Item 14, mayoral candidate Benjamin Fisk,

with the aid of this precinct's finest,

has passed one uneventful night

as an official resident of the Dante Projects.

Now, when we're done here, detectives LaRue and Washington

will be relieving the night-shift officers

and assuring Mr. Fisk of another day free from harm

in his chosen habitat,

which is especially important in view of item 15,

another grim bulletin from our war correspondents.

A nine-year-old boy was killed last night in a drive-by shooting,

apparently a case of mistaken identity.

The bullet was allegedly intended for a member of Diablos.

Educated speculation would narrow responsibility

to the Blood,

their purpose being retaliation for the death of one of their own,

a Mr. Leon Selwood,

who was found yesterday morning hanging from a basketball hoop

on a Diablos playground.

(murmuring)

The saga continues.

Now, we will maintain our pattern of high visibility

for what dissuasion it may provide.

I wish I could tell you the end was in sight.

Anybody got a pocketknife?

Here.

(laughter)

Item last, a note from our off-the-record department.

Officer Bobby Hill invites you to attend an event

of great social import

commencing circa 8:30 this evening at the club Como.

The occasion is a rent party for officer Michael Perez,

who has experienced a common difficulty this month,

falling somewhat short of the landlord's due.

Now, make a stop tonight, will you, folks?

Now, if we haven't the compassion to help one of our own, who can we help?

All right, that's it. Let's roll.

And let's be particularly careful out there.

(indistinct chattering)

-Ba-bing, ba-bing. -Funny stuff, J.D.

Don Rickles can't sleep at night.

-You know, you're a jerk, Bobby Hill. -What?

I ask you for a personal favor,

and you make me some kind of precinct charity case.

I was trying to help you.

Yeah, by showing everybody what a swell guy you are, huh?

Well, you're terrific, okay? I mean, you're a real prince.

Just take it easy, okay?

Shoot.

Food for thought there, bud.

Yeah, I woke up this morning, said to myself,

"Gee, I hope it's 103 in the shade

and I get to spend the whole day in a tenement

staring at rat droppings."

Mm, looks like somebody else is having a bad day.

(siren wailing)

(groans)

We gotta get this guy to Mercy! Find the arm and bring it in!

-Arm? What arm? -The left one! Hurry!

(siren wailing, tires screech)

-Hey, man, he didn't say arm. -I think he did.

-He didn't mean arm. -I think he did.

Look, this isn't for us, Neal, okay?

The paramedics are on the way.

-They like stuff like this. -Hey, come on, J.D.

Come on, man. They said find it fast.

All right, all right.

Okay. Okay? We looked, we didn't find it.

How far could an arm go, huh?

(woman gasps)

Oh, boy.

NEAL: Hey, I'll go get some ice.

Oh, no, you don't. Well?

I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

-Take a number, one to ten. -No way.

Uh-uh. You're the one that wanted to find it.

Oh, damn.

(indistinct chattering)

(groans)

Oh, man.

(woman sobbing)

-Ugh. -WOMAN: It's just awful.

Ugh.

Come on.

-(laughs) -What?

Take a look. 8:04.

Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'.

(both laugh)

WOMAN (on radio): Dispatch. We have a 91-1.

Armed robbery in progress.

See Surplus Store, corner People's Drive and 124th Street.

(sirens wailing)

(theme music playing)

You want to tell me about it or not?

About what?

Your breakfast, Joe.

Did you take the girls out or what?

Yeah, I took them out. So?

So, I want to know what went on. I mean, tell me exactly what you did.

We had dinner.

That's not what I'm talking about.

Now, don't embarrass me, all right? Just stop it.

Hey, you weren't too embarrassed to do it.

-And now you're judging me! -I'm not.

-You do that all the time! -I'm not, I'm not, I swear.

This just may be the only chance I ever get

to hear something like this.

You know, you're backing me right into a corner,

-because no matter what I say... -Joe.

-...you're gonna get mad. -No, that's not true.

I mean, you're not giving me any credit at all.

-I'm just curious. That's all. -You really want to know?

Yeah, I am curious.

It was unbelievable.

It was the most incredible evening of my entire life.

-Go ahead. -Oh...

You know what the best part about it is?

Those girls are as different as night and day.

Betty is, uh, is shy...

not that she won't do anything that you ask her to do.

And Babette... oh, boy, she's, like...

she's, like, all over the place. (laughs) She's really--

Stop--

-Oh... (scoffs) Really great. -What did you--?

-What did you do that for? -All right!

Okay. All right.

WOMAN (on radio): All units in the area of 1400 block Granville Avenue.

-Hey, let's go. -Man with gun. Shots fired. Man down.

(siren wailing)

Drop the gun!

Drop the gun!

(gun thuds)

All right, turn around, put your hands on the car!

(groans)

You do not understand! He tried to rob me.

That man has a knife! He tried to rob me!

We'll talk about it later. Right now you're under arrest.

-I don't know. The guy's crazy. -Take it easy.

I'm putting five bucks through the window, and the guy turns around and shoots me.

Okay.

Captain Furillo? John Fox, Vice, Midtown.

-How are you? -Fine, how are you?

You mind if I talk to you for a minute?

Uh, sure. Come on in.

Sit down.

Look, Captain, I've been working on a high-rent crap game

for a couple of weeks, and last night we were gonna bust it,

but then I recognized one of your guys.

-Who? -Bobby Hill.

He joined the game about midnight and didn't leave until after it broke up.

I deferred the bust.

You sure it was Hill?

Absolutely.

I'm surprised he didn't recognize me.

But then, the way he looked last night,

I'm not sure he would recognize his own mother.

Now, Captain, I know he just won a lot of money,

and you might argue that he's having a good time,

but I'm not so sure.

He lose a lot?

About ten grand.

Now, Captain, I hate to be the one to tell you this,

but I think you've got a cop who's got a big problem.

I'm sorry you missed your bust. I apologize.

We'll get 'em.

Thanks for coming.

The IAD is busy enough.

-Captain. -Mick.

I just came from downtown, that IAD hearing.

-And? -And nothing.

They asked me a bunch of stupid questions and said I could go.

-What happens now? -They'll issue their report and call me.

-When?

Twenty-four hours.

Captain, what I don't understand is this,

if this guy is only doing this

because he's got it out for the precinct or something,

when are you gonna get behind me?

Mick, we've been over this.

It's in everyone's best interest, particularly yours,

if I keep a low profile. This isn't a unique situation.

They'll see it for what it is.

Meanwhile, I'm the one that's gotta take the rap.

Mick, you're the one who had the guy up against the wall.

That's a crock, Captain. He had it coming.

You don't stick your hand into a dogfight. You know that.

-What do you want me to do? -Stick to your desk.

Okay, but I'll tell you one thing,

I am not gonna be hung out to dry for this.

I'll quit before I let that happen.

(sighs) Phil...

Bobby Hill around?

No, he left with Renko an hour ago.

-Okay-- -Francis,

do you know if Fay is partial to the Peruvian lily?

I'm not sure.

You know how bleak those hospital rooms can be.

Look at this one.

The planter is actually a music box shaped like a cradle.

It plays Brahms' "Lullaby."

Uh, I'm sure she'll love it, Phil.

Would you excuse me, please?

I got your report on last night's shooting. Thank you.

Just doing my job.

Oh, boy.

All right.

(telephone rings)

What?

Hi, Ma.

I'm fine. How are you?

No, I'm not.

Ma, I'm not in a bad mood.

I'm not hiding anything from you.

Because there's nothing wrong!

Okay, maybe I got a little toothache.

Because I didn't want to worry you.

I'm going this afternoon. I already made the appointment.

Could we please change the subject?

Thank you.

So what's new with you?

Why? What's wrong?

All right, all right, wait a minute.

Who's getting the divorce?

Joe and Sandra.

Oh, the Clayburn's.

That's too bad.

I am upset, Ma, but, you know, those things happen.

Wait a minute. You told me yourself

that she was cheating on him with her foot doctor,

so maybe-- Listen to me.

Maybe he's better off without her.

Maybe he'll find someone else.

I don't know, Ma! Maybe somebody at work.

All right, then, maybe somebody on the bus on his way to work,

I don't know, but I really don't think you should let it upset you this much.

Because it's not healthy.

There is something you can do about it.

Yes, there is, Ma. Change the channel.

That's right.

Bye.

He gives me the money. I am making change.

Then he takes out the knife very fast,

and he places it to me here.

Mr. Chabundi...

(grunts)

(sighs)

-Is it-- -Would you like this?

Thank you.

Is it possible, uh, Mr. Chabundi,

you could've been mistaken about the knife?

Maybe he had something that looked like a knife.

No, it was a knife. I saw it.

It was very long with a blue handle.

Ah... Do you have any idea what happened to it?

I do not know.

He was walking around.

Maybe he hide it?

He was walking around after you shot him?

Yes, after.

You're not going to undress more, are you?

(sighs) I'm not sure.

No, I was... joking.

Miss Davenport, I am a student.

I would never hurt anyone with no reason.

But in six months I have worked as a cab driver,

this makes five times I am robbed.

Just the same, you shouldn't have had the gun.

Cab drivers aren't allowed to carry firearms in the city.

I am only trying to defend myself.

How can I go to jail for that?

No one said anything about jail.

You have no prior arrests and your college standing is excellent.

But what about immigration?

Miss Davenport, I worked so hard to come here.

If I go back like this, I will be a disgrace.

Listen, let's just take it one step at a time.

I'm sure we can find a way to work it out.

I mean that.

Thank you.

(sighs) Miss Davenport, thank you very much.

I'm telling you, man, I feel like I could bathe for a week.

Doctors think they might have a good chance

of sewing the dude's arm back on again, man.

Hey.

-Louie, sorry. -Stopped for an accident.

You sure your grandma wasn't sick?

Oh, yeah, all over my shirt.

-Morning, fellas. -Here's his schedule.

I'll be out of here in another half-hour.

-Anyone want work as a speech writer? -He's scheduled to be back

around 2:00 for a tenants committee meeting.

-Whoa! Hey! -Hey, no sell, Hector.

Man, I thought this dude wanted to talk to his people.

Okay, but not today.

Well, I got some things I want to say.

Let him in, please.

All right, spread 'em, Hector.

Hey! Hey, come on, cut it out, will ya?

I won't have you treating these people like thugs!

-Now let him in. -This is bright! This is real great!

-What's your name, son? -Hector-- Hector Ruiz.

-Hey, Mr. Fisk, you don't have to-- -Ben Fisk. Pleased to meet you.

Yeah, pleased to meet you, sucker! Come on, man.

Now who got the power, pigs? Who got the power?

Move, man! Move or I'm gonna kill him!

-All right. All right, Hector-- -Come on, move!

-Easy. -Yeah, we moving, baby. We're moving.

Get out. Get out the way. Now you're gonna listen to me, mister,

and you're gonna listen real good, you got that?

Get Howard in here, please,

and we need a phone hookup to that apartment.

That's number-one priority.

-Right away. -Do you want to go along on this one?

Why wouldn't I?

You could stay here and point your finger at me.

I understand young Ruiz has taken our crusader hostage, Frank.

How long to get your men in place?

Full deployment in 30 minutes.

Go. Go ahead.

-You want me out there, Frank? -Yes. Keep me posted.

I will. That's how I work.

(siren wailing)

(helicopter whirring)

HENRY: It's gonna be Barnum & Bailey out here.

I'm gonna need at least six more units on crowd control.

Pick up the phone, Hector.

We want to be able to talk to you. We want to hear what you have to say.

That glare's gonna have us at bay till midafternoon, Henry.

-Say again? -The sun.

It's right in the apartment windows here.

We won't have a shot for at least two hours.

Break my heart.

That wasn't advocacy, Lieutenant.

I was merely acquainting you with a range of possible response.

Right. Thanks.

I'm sure once you ask nicely,

the little urchin will tell us "April fools,"

and cartwheel right into the paddy wagon.

-Howard. Where is he? -Chief.

Right up there. Second room. Four up.

-Status. -Hec--

I'm trying to establish phone communication.

Is Fisk all right?

I'm trying to find out!

Find out how Fisk is.

-Excuse me. -Bingo, Henry.

Hector?

Good.

Slow. We got a lot of time.

Just let me make sure everybody's all right. You okay?

Mr. Fisk?

Great.

Great, then we're gonna work this one out, Hector.

Everyone's gonna come out of this all right.

What's he telling him, he's done a great thing?

We're gonna put him up for a medal?

He's trying to calm the guy down.

I think you have contributed enough today, Detective.

-You've been negligent enough. -Easy, Dennis. Easy.

Lieutenant, this is Andrew Lane, Ben Fisk's campaign manager.

I want him kept informed of all developments.

Anything we can do?

-Give us room to work. -Absolutely. Absolutely.

The lieutenant is one of our very best men

-in hostage negotiations. -Hector.

Hey, I didn't go anyplace.

Just got everybody and his mother out here.

You got the whole city paying attention.

Everybody's yapping in my ear.

Hey, wait, wait, before we get to an agenda, let's, uh--

Are you hungry? You want something to eat?

Okay, wait.

Hector, wait, if you want, we'll do it now.

Fine. Whatever.

What's going on?

No more crap from you, Henry, you got that?

No more lies, man!

You put Jesus away!

You get me a million bucks, and you put this stuff on cameras, now!

And you put Jesus Martinez in jail, or this guy is gonna die!

MAN (over radio): The candidate is being held hostage by Hector Ruiz,

leader of a gang faction in the Hill district.

As ransom for the candidate's release, Ruiz is demanding

immediate reincarceration of Jesus Martinez...

Frank?

...recently paroled on an embezzlement conviction.

Yeah, hello? Yeah?

Yeah, we're gonna pick up Jesus.

Can I promise him that?

Ray's working up a list of all of his hangouts right now.

We send Jesus back?

You know I can't do that without cause, Henry.

Do we know who his parole officer is?

He doesn't have one.

Great. You're gonna have some blood down here, Frank.

Well, if that's the case, Henry, I don't want it to be Fisk's.

Is there any way Jesus could agree to some sort of cosmetic--

Look, we're just gonna bring him in and see what we can get.

What does the rest look like?

A zoo.

It's okay. I'll be in touch.

Phil, tell Ray to use anyone available--

all of Jesus' hangouts.

-Should we get a warrant? -He's material to a police investigation.

Sarge. Captain, did you want to see me?

Close it.

John Fox came to see me today.

He's, uh, Midtown Vice.

He was all set to take a crap game last night

when he recognized you at the table. He deferred the bust.

What's the damage? Is he going to IAD?

Not at present, but there'll be no more warnings.

Captain, if--

Look, I know you're under a lot of pressure.

Something like this lottery can be a mixed blessing.

It's none of my business what you do with your money, Bobby,

but I'm not going to let you compromise the badge.

-Am I understood? -Yes, sir.

Get back to work.

Check with Lieutenant Calletano in bringing in Martinez.

Andrew, El Cajón social club, 511 East Utica.

-Right. -Backrooms, too.

-Yes, sir. -Bobby, you got a minute?

-I need-- -What is it, Belker?

What do you need? You need a little help?

Here, take it. It's all yours.

Just get out of my face.

Oh, you want more? How about this?

I don't want your lousy money, nosebleed!

I was gonna work up a field report for you on that mud palace bust,

but don't bother getting it, because I just changed my mind!

What's the story on you, man?

Just leave it!

Leave it.

So, where'd you go last night?

Went out.

Yeah, I know you went out.

You breezed by me like the Topeka Express

on your way out of the squad room.

I tried to call you till 1:00 am in the morning.

I finally gave up and went to sleep.

Thought maybe you might want to party down with your pal

after winning all that money.

What is that?

Currency, 2,500 bucks. It's yours.

Uh-uh. No, sir. It's not.

Why?

I don't want no conscience money.

Renko, I been going through a lot of changes lately. (sighs)

I'm a little turned around.

Don't make me do a song. I want you to have it.

You really mean that?

Yep.

Because we're buddies, right?

Right.

Well, in that case, I accept, with a great deal of pleasure.

-Thank you, Robert. -You're welcome.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Well, that certainly puts a new light on the day, now, don't it?

Yes, it does.

(dance music playing)

Hey, man, this is a private club.

I didn't hear nobody invite you in.

What's behind this door here?

Your mama's bedroom.

Boy, you gonna come over here and help me open up this door?

You got a warrant for this?

Yeah, I got a warrant right here.

Are you gonna come help me open up this door,

or am I gonna serve it to you personally?

I'm busy.

Renko, look out!

(man shouting in Spanish)

Look out for the knife!

Aah!

Hold it right there! Drop the knife!

I said drop it!

You don't drop that knife by the time I count to three,

I'm gonna blow your head off.

One...

two...

three.

Get off me!

Get up against that bar right now, man!

Get up against that bar.

Get up against that bar, boy.

You're the man, Bobby Hill.

You're the man I want on my side.

-Always-- Bobby Hill. -Just go get cleaned up.

All right, straight ahead.

(woman speaking Spanish)

Twenty-two bucks for a new shirt every week of my life.

Oh, mama...

Oh, mama.

Where's my money?

All right, fellas, like the lady says,

we can play it smooth, or we can play it rough.

But I want some results, and I want 'em now.

Now, where's my money?

(both speaking Spanish)

-Get up against that bar. -Por qué?

Por qué I said so. Get up against that bar right now.

Put your hands on that bar right now!

(speaking Spanish)

Por qué?

Is that your dinero, huh? Is that your dinero there?

Where's mine, huh? Where's mine, huh?

Señor...

You want to say something? I want my money!

No sé! No hablo inglés!

I want my money! Mi dinero! Comprende?!

(shouting in Spanish)

In a pig's eye, man.

(moans)

Preliminary hearing, noon tomorrow on the charges

of illegal possession of a weapon and attempted murder.

No! I am not guilty! It is the other one!

-JUDGE: Miss Davenport... -Uh, Your Honor, I'm sorry.

My client's been extremely overwrought ever since the incident.

No, I am not a guilty man!

Mr. Chabundi, this court will begin to address that question tomorrow.

In the meantime, you're free to go on your own recognizance,

and immigration will be notified.

What?

Oh, Miss Davenport, please, you can't let them send me back!

JUDGE: No one's sending you back, son.

It's standard procedure when felony charges are brought.

I will prove to you there was a knife.

I will go find it.

-(bangs gavel) -JUDGE: Next case.

Please... You'll come with me. Can you?

We will find it together.

Kiki, I'm sorry. I can't this afternoon.

I have to find it.

I have three more clients.

Officers, I know your time is short, but if you--

We looked once, Miss Davenport. I'm sorry.

Couldn't they look some more?

Kiki, later in the week, I can get one of our office's--

After the hearing? After immigration is told?

I'm afraid that's the earliest.

Here's my home phone.

You're not alone in this, honestly.

(sighs) Try to stay calm. Even if there's no knife--

You don't believe me.

Yes, I do. I'm simply saying even if it's not found, we'll win this.

I'll try very hard. See you tomorrow.

(horn blares)

Excuse me. You got the time?

No.

What do you figure it is, about noon?

I said I don't know.

(chuckles)

How come you're eatin' your lunch out here?

What, are you writin' a book?

(bell rings)

(both grunting)

Aah!

(growling)

(both straining)

Aah!

(growling)

Aah!

Get up!

Get up!

(siren wailing)

You are under arrest, hair bag!

We've looked all over for him, Hector. We're still looking.

He's out there, man. I know he is.

He didn't go back to Puerto Rico.

Check his mother's house, Rosalita's, or El Cajón!

We are within millimeters of being clear.

Shut up.

Hector, get away from the damn window.

Use the damn phone.

You are a phenomenon to me, Henry.

You are an enigma.

You want millimeters, Howard? You're thinking William Tell?

Was he clear? Did I hear that you've got a clear shot at that kid?

No, that's not what you heard.

What I was saying is there are instances as he turns--

And you've also said that your sight's obscured by the sun.

What's going on here, please?

Look, we've got a lot of cards left to play before we get to guns.

And the last thing that I want to do is interfere.

Hector?

Hey, Hector?

Uh... listen, I'll get back to you in a second, okay?

Look, would you please get the hell away from me?

Every time I start to get some continuity, someone's watering my ear.

Look here. I expect to be consulted before any decisions made--

You'll be consulted. You'll be consulted.

For cryin' out loud,

you're all going to confirm your worst scenarios.

Hector?

Yeah. Okay.

(helicopter whirring)

Where is your captain?

Well, you know policy, chief, too many in command--

I know what the damn policy is, Ray.

I also know as long as the chief is here,

it's hardly going to make things top-heavy

for the captain to make an appearance.

He sounds like he's losing it.

You're saying that the man running these negotiations is unstable?

No, no, no, we're not. We certainly are not, but I do think--

Henry's in constant communication with Captain Furillo.

That's exactly the point.

And I think, let's make sure that we're getting Frank's input.

Lieutenant?

Hang on, Hector.

What?

Now, just calm down.

Put me on your phone with your captain.

He's not on. Oh, Frank?

Listen to me, Frank.

I'm in a situation here

where every action I take looks like bad faith.

I'm trying to stay out of substantive decision.

That's why I didn't insist you come down to begin with.

But now I am insisting it.

It looks like you can't scare up Martinez.

We're still looking.

The million dollars and meeting the Queen of Sheba aside, Frank,

putting Martinez back in jail seemed to be

what this kid was after, and that isn't going to happen,

which means we're about to close with some unpleasant decisions.

You cannot give the kill order.

I want you to make the call on how we proceed, Frank.

It's not right for me to do it.

I agree.

Will you get down here?

Tell Henry I'm on the way.

What are you lookin' at? Don't look at me, screw!

Mick, what's going on here?

(sighs) I'm sorry, Captain. I just sort of stumbled into it.

You were supposed to be out getting sandwiches.

You're on desk duty.

Well, I'm still a cop, aren't I?

Not once you've turned in your shield.

Okay, I was making a citizen's arrest.

Whose side are you on, anyway?

We'll discuss this later, Mick.

I don't want you moving from that desk till I get back, okay?

Leo... Do you want to do Detective Belker's paperwork here, please?

Okay, Captain.

(growling)

(horn honking)

Keep it clear.

-FLETCHER: Frank. -Any change?

Oh, he keeps dragging Fisk to the window.

He's got 57 different ways of demanding we pop Martinez.

-Sun's cleared the building. -Yep.

Have we got a consensus?

Run it down for me.

I'd call it stable.

His demands have remained essentially the same.

No increment in violence since first presentation.

Why don't you stow the gobbledygook?

Get away.

I think you should too, Chief.

I agree. I agree absolutely.

But, Frank, let's close with realities.

Is Hector waiting to hear from you?

I told him you were coming, I had to talk to you.

Told him you'd have news about Jesus.

That's a dead issue.

Jesus was probably listening on the radio, knew we were coming.

Which leaves us where?

I don't know where it leaves us. I know where it leaves Hector.

I don't see an alternative.

He cocked the gun last time.

I thought he was gonna waste him.

I am simply offering information here,

the sun has cleared the windows.

You've got him inside the apartment?

Yes.

Let's take him.

I need him stable. I need him still.

Hector?

Okay. We got word on Jesus.

I think we can bring him in.

But now, Hector, I want you to stop a minute.

I want you to stop...

And think about what you want out of all this.

He's still, Frank. He's sighted.

-Go. Take him. -Fire.

(gunshot)

Are we clear?

MAN: All clear.

We're clear.

Am I all right? Am I all right?

You're okay.

Everything's okay.

Oh... Oh, my God. His brains are all over me.

What...

What-what happened here?

What-what the hell happened here?

What happened?

Just take it easy. Take it easy. Are you all right?

My God...

He exploded right into my face.

Easy. Come on.

Stupid bastard.

Visit other people's lives.

We'll get you cleaned up. Huh? Huh?

Yeah.

(siren wailing)

People, we all know how to do this.

I assure you, when a statement is forthcoming,

none of you will be deprived.

-Please let the officer through. -Did the kid have family?

I believe Ruiz was an orphan.

Hey, Officer, I understand you gents

are having a little soiree this evening.

Yes.

Well, my girls are supposed to meet with Joe after,

which means they have a little time on their hands.

So, I'm thinking why not liven up the festivities with a little exhibition?

The girls could fool around a little, put on coconut oil.

You want to run a garden hose on 'em, that's okay, too.

And don't even worry about the money.

If you want to pass the hat around afterwards... whatever.

But mostly, we consider it a thank you present

to your fine department.

What do you say?

Why don't you kill yourself?

Frank, Frank-- from Jesus.

He said he was out of town all day on business.

He just heard that we were looking for him.

-Thanks, Ray. -Way to pull the plug on that kid, Frank.

It took you six hours to muscle up to the bar.

What do you want?

Belker, LaRue, Washington, Renko, in there.

Why?

'Cause that's the captain's office, Frank.

Most precincts, it's the place of command.

I got a whole shopping bag here, people.

I got a guy, supposed to be at his desk, playing cowboys and Indians in the street.

Of course, then you got your uniform here

pulling your run-of-the-mill roust on two citizens

at the El Cajón, trashing their establishment.

And then we get a call from two people who caught their act.

-What act? -What the hell do you suppose?

"Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'."

You pull a man's arm out of a gutter and crack jokes about it.

Captain, while he was busy collecting reports,

I wonder if he took the time to call the hospital

to see how the guy's doing.

'Cause I called, and thanks to J.D. and me,

the guy's got a 60 percent shot at using his arm again.

Maybe nobody cares about that, huh?

I just want to let you know, fellas,

until this election, every day, if I've got to, I'm gonna come up here

and change your diapers.

Twice a day, if I have to.

(laughing)

What's so funny?

(laughs) Well, it's just this... this arm business.

It puts me in mind of an old joke.

A guy's in a car wreck, and his hand gets cut off.

He picks it up, he runs over to a doctor.

He says, "Doc, quick! Can you sew this back on?"

The doctor says, "Sure, but it'll cost you $20,000."

He says, "Gee, forget it." He runs over to another doctor.

He says, "Doctor, can you sew this back on?"

He says, "Yeah, sure."

He says, "How much is that gonna be?"

He says, "$250." He says, "$250? Gee, do it!"

Well, the doctor sews it on, a few weeks later, the guy's hand is fine.

He can move the fingers, the feeling's coming back. It's just fine.

Well, he's having the stitches taken out, and he spots the first doctor.

He runs right over to him, he says,

"Hey, Doc, remember me?"

He says, "Look at this. Everything's just great."

He says, "I went to another doctor, and he did it for $250.

When I came to you, you wanted 20,000.

I have just one thing to say to you."

(laughter)

Reprimand.

Reprimand.

Suspension continued.

Insubordination.

(LaRue chuckles)

(laughter)

NEAL: The guy says, "Hey, that's great! It's a deal!"

So he sews it on, and everything is working fine,

and one day he runs into the first doctor.

He says, "Hey, sucker!

I just got one thing to say to you!"

(laughter)

I'll tell you one thing. If a person's not meant to be lucky,

he's not gonna be lucky. That's all there is to it.

You see, no matter how it is looks, way a thing's gonna turn out,

it ain't never gonna turn out the way you want it to,

'cause it don't happen that way.

So don't never...

(whistles) Everybody listen up.

Neal, my man, I'm gonna tell you,

you were something else out there today.

Hey, you deserve a medal.

Hey, thanks, J.D.

I want to shake your hand.

Hey, you got it, blood.

(laughter)

Hey, hey, he is the man.

Hey, where are the Babing's, baby?

-I'm meeting them later. -Come on. I heard they left for ba-Boise.

More like ba-Bangkok.

JOE: You guys are a r-riot.

Your attention, please!

A surprise just for you wonderful people,

right here on this stage, two pulsating,

pulverizing princesses of pugilistic pulchritude

are going to provide for you

what has previously been purveyed

only for the privileged patrons

of certain posh, private clubs.

I give you the Babing sisters.

If this is what's happening, I'm out of here.

It's not happening. Don't worry.

...two perfectly matched specimens of fleshy female fortitude.

(applause)

Uh, show's over, folks.

Joe, what's going on?

-We're doing it for-- -Forget about it. No way.

Girls, look, why don't you go get dressed?

Old Joe's gonna take you out. We'll have a good time tonight.

Joe, we're talkin' a lot of money here.

Yeah, right. Right.

Hey, Bobby! Where you been?

An investment seminar.

No kiddin'?

You're smart.

You, uh, learn anything good?

Yeah.

Listen, uh, Bobby, I apologize for what I said this morning--

-Yeah. Yeah, sure. -I really appreciate your help.

(laughter)

-Michael? -Yeah?

What's the story on Bobby? Did he say anything--

I don't know. I was talking to him, he walked over there.

You know, I was gonna give you $20, but I'm all tapped out.

-Oh, no problem, Renko. -I know that you're having problems.

Thanks for the thought.

Uh, excuse me. Excuse me. I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Uh, Bobby, I got to talk to you.

-What's up? -I got to talk to you.

Just come over here.

Now, I don't know where to start with this,

but it's no reflection on you.

-It's nothing personal against you-- -What, Renko?

-What? -I lost the money.

I had it in my pocket and then we had that fight,

and it fell out on ground.

I went back to try to find it. It's nowhere.

I-I just thought maybe... I owed it to you to tell you--

Renko, look, look, look, look.

Look! Easy come, easy go, easy come.

I can't take this.

Sure, you can!

Sure, I can.

Whoa!

MAN: Joe, you're makin' a mistake.

Hey, shut up.

Never interfere with how people make their living.

BOBBY: How would you girls like to make a living with me?

-How about it? -We're leaving.

Yeah, they're leaving with me, Bobby.

Well, let's see.

Uh, one...

A thousand says, uh, the girls are changing their plans.

What the hell are you doing, Bobby?

-What am I doing, Bobby? -Yeah.

-Yeah. -Hey, hey, Bobby.

(laughing) A grand a sister.

How about that?

The hell with it. You do what you want.

You know, maybe you should invest some of that money

with Dale Carnegie.

You know...

I wouldn't mind blowing 40 bucks on a dinner

if you'd at least glanced at it.

Oh, I know. I'm sorry.

It was just one of those days.

Can Mahoney make that stick?

The insubordination? Probably not.

Now ask me how much I care.

How about if I give you a nice lukewarm bubble bath

with a backrub chaser?

Mm. Might just do the trick.

(laughs)

You run the water, and I'll be right in.

I'll be the guy in the tub.

(tape rewinding)

-(beep) -CHABUNDI: Miss Davenport...

I have looked and looked.

I cannot find the knife.

You must help.

(voice breaking) I know they will send me back.

Please!

I have no one else to help me.

I don't know what to do.

I just don't know what to do... at all.

(sobs)

Wouldn't you know? I'm probably gonna have this baby

during the hottest week of the year.

Well... here we are,

two full-fledged Lamaze scholars.

Nothing left but the, uh... grand finale.

I feel ready. Do you feel ready?

Yep.

I mean, I think we're gonna be fine, don't you?

Sure.

You know, Henry...

not a lot of guys would volunteer to be a surrogate partner.

I want you to know I'm very grateful.

Forget it. No problem.

Henry... you seem kind of distant tonight.

Is anything wrong?

(sighs)

I'm sorry, Fay. It's not you.

It's just... stuff, you know?

Oh.

Look, I don't mean to be evasive. It's just...

It's been a hell of a rotten day,

on top of which I've been having some personal problems at work.

Anybody I know?

(chuckles)

Frank?

Look, Fay, I don't want to put you in the middle.

(sighs)

Henry, believe me, I, uh... I know him better than most.

(sighs) He's, uh... he's been acting like...

like he's in a bunker.

Did a lot of damage.

He does that sometimes.

He-he takes too much on himself, and then he...

he forgets to trust the people closest to him.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, I...

I know I haven't been much support for the night. I'm sorry.

Henry...

You have given me as much support during these last three weeks

as any man's ever given me in my whole life.

I'll always love you for it.

(sighs)

-Hell of a time for our first kiss. -Fay, I'm sorry.

No.

No, it's... it's okay.

(closing theme playing)