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1
00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:04,500
- WHY, HUH?
2
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,100
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE
JOANNE'S CARD?
3
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,733
- WHAT?
I CAN TAKE HER CARD.
4
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:10,033
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN
I'M GOING TO NEED SOME...
5
00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:12,867
DENTAL INSURANCE.
6
00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:16,000
- YEAH, YOU KNOW, THERE'S
A REASON SHE'S YOUR EX-WIFE.
7
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,667
- ALL RIGHT ALREADY.
HEY, DEB.
8
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:19,467
- YOU KNOW, I KNOW
IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
9
00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:22,367
BUT I CANNOT BELIEVE
THAT YOU TOOK THAT CARD.
10
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:24,333
[grunts]
WHY DO I EVEN--
11
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:27,200
WEREN'T YOU TRYING
TO MAKE IT WORK WITH AMY?
12
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,500
I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE
HAPPY WITH AMY
13
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:33,233
AND UNHAPPY
WITH JOANNE THE NUTCRACKER.
14
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,400
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
15
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,800
YOU AND RAY
DO WHAT YOU WANT.
16
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,833
- ME?
17
00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:41,200
- ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
18
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,867
YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO--
19
00:00:43,867 --> 00:00:45,567
I DON'T KNOW.
20
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,967
- I SAID ANNOUNCE ME,
FRANK.
21
00:00:47,967 --> 00:00:50,267
WHAT KIND OF ANNOUNCING
IS THAT?
22
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,600
- OH, JUST DO IT.
23
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,333
EVERYTHING HAS
TO BE A BIG DEAL.
24
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:54,667
- DO YOU HAVE
TO RUIN EVERYTHING?
25
00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:55,767
IS THAT WHY YOU'RE HERE?
26
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,300
- WHY DON'T YOU JUMP
A COW'S--
27
00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:59,533
- AAH!
HEY, HEY.
28
00:00:59,533 --> 00:01:01,300
WHAT?
29
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,833
- WE'RE GOING TO ITALY.
30
00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:06,433
- YEAH.
31
00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:09,367
- FOREVER?
32
00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:14,133
- WE ARE ALL GOING TO ITALY.
33
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:16,100
- WHAT?
- FOR TWO WEEKS!
34
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:17,500
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- HOW?
35
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,533
- YOU SEE,
IT IS A BIG DEAL.
36
00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:22,700
AS YOU KNOW, MY BIRTHDAY
IS COMING UP,
37
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,767
AND I HAVE SECRETLY
BEEN PUTTING ASIDE MONEY
38
00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:27,833
FOR 45 YEARS.
39
00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:29,700
AND THIS IS WHAT I WANT.
40
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,600
- I WANT HALF THAT MONEY.
- OH.
41
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,633
- I WANT ALL THAT MONEY.
42
00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:34,567
THAT MONEY'S MINE.
- QUIET.
43
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:36,833
SO I'VE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH
MY MOTHER'S COUSIN COLLETTA,
44
00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:39,400
WHO LIVES IN A LITTLE VILLAGE
OUTSIDE OF ROME.
45
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,267
AND WE'RE INVITED.
46
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:45,533
AND I'M PAYING--
THE WHOLE FAMILY!
47
00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:48,067
- ME TOO?
48
00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,133
- OF COURSE YOU, DEAR!
YOU'RE FAMILY!
49
00:01:50,133 --> 00:01:52,800
- OH!
50
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,933
[laughter]
51
00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:57,433
- ME TOO?
52
00:01:57,433 --> 00:01:59,200
- YES, YES,
AND THE KIDS TOO!
53
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,833
EVERYONE.
54
00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:04,333
- YOU KNOW, MAYBE I CAN TELL
MY LADY TROUBLES TO THE POPE.
55
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,967
- LOOK AT IT.
IT'S A LITTLE, TINY VILLAGE--
56
00:02:05,967 --> 00:02:08,267
- OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD!
57
00:02:08,267 --> 00:02:09,600
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!
- YEAH, LISTEN, LISTEN.
58
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,600
ALL RIGHT, STOP DANCING.
STOP, STOP. LISTEN.
59
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,867
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS
IS A VACATION WITH MY FAMILY?
60
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,267
OKAY?
- YEAH.
61
00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,200
- DON'T WE WANT A VACATION
FROM MY FAMILY?
62
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,667
- IF THEY'RE GOING
TO BOTHER ME ANYWAY,
63
00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:22,000
I'LL TAKE BOTHERED IN ITALY.
[laughs]
64
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,667
- BUT WE WERE--WE WERE GOING
TO GO TO THE JERSEY SHORE.
65
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,933
- ITALY.
66
00:02:27,933 --> 00:02:30,867
FREE TRIP TO ITALY.
67
00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:34,467
- I DON'T KNOW.
68
00:02:34,467 --> 00:02:38,100
I'M NOT REALLY INTERESTED
IN OTHER CULTURES.
69
00:02:40,467 --> 00:02:42,867
- [laughing]
OKAY.
70
00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:44,667
YOU KNOW,
IN THE PAST,
71
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:49,600
YOUR...DUMBNESS
HAS GOTTEN IN THE WAY
72
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,633
OF JUST, LIKE, A FEW THINGS
THAT I'VE WANTED TO DO:
73
00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:56,633
THE BOOK CLUB, THEATER,
HAVING CONVERSATIONS.
74
00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:58,767
BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY
THIS ONE THING,
75
00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:01,400
AND WE WON'T
HAVE TO DISCUSS IT ANYMORE.
76
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,233
YOU'RE NOT BLOWING THIS
FOR ME, PAL!
77
00:03:05,233 --> 00:03:07,467
WE'RE GOING TO ITALY!
78
00:03:07,467 --> 00:03:09,200
[laughter]
79
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,333
- OH, I'M SO HAPPY.
80
00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:18,300
[slow Italian music]
81
00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:11,600
LOOK AT THIS.
82
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,133
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THAT WE'RE HERE.
83
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,567
- WHO'S THAT?
84
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,533
- OH, HI.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
85
00:04:53,767 --> 00:04:57,100
- WE, UH, ACTUALLY HAD
A LOT TO EAT ON THE PLANE.
86
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:01,333
ALL RIGHT.
87
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,533
- HUH, KIDS? THIS LOOKS GOOD.
OOH, LOOK AT THIS.
88
00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:04,600
all: MMM.
89
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,933
- OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS AMAZING!
90
00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,267
RAY, TASTE THIS.
91
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:09,767
- NO, I CAN'T--
I CAN'T TASTE ANYTHING.
92
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,833
I GOT A COLD FROM THAT
DAMN AIR CONDITIONER ON THE VAN.
93
00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:14,400
IT'S FREEZING IN THERE.
94
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,767
UH.
95
00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:19,733
- JEEZ ALOO!
96
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,100
I MARRIED
THE WRONG BROAD.
97
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:30,767
- [loudly and slowly]
YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME.
98
00:05:54,933 --> 00:05:57,067
- OH!
OH, THIS IS WONDERFUL.
99
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,933
OH, I LOVE THIS.
100
00:05:58,933 --> 00:06:02,500
- OKAY, HERE WE GO.
101
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,100
- THIS IS IT?
102
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:06,533
- WHAT, RAY?
103
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,233
- NOTHING.
104
00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:10,800
[blows nose]
105
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,467
HAD MORE ROOM IN COACH.
106
00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:16,567
- OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS.
LOOK AT THIS!
107
00:06:16,567 --> 00:06:18,867
- WHAT?
108
00:06:18,867 --> 00:06:21,033
- [gasps]
109
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,033
OH, MY GOD.
110
00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:29,167
I'M GOING TO CRY.
111
00:07:01,533 --> 00:07:04,967
[crying]
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
112
00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,433
- IT'S NICE--THE WATER.
YEAH.
113
00:07:08,433 --> 00:07:12,667
THAT ROOM'S KIND OF SMALL
THOUGH, DON'T YOU THINK?
114
00:07:12,667 --> 00:07:14,333
I MEAN, WE'RE GOING TO BE
JAMMED IN THERE
115
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,067
WITH THE KIDS
FOR TWO WEEKS.
116
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:19,467
DID YOU LOOK
AT THE PLACE, REALLY?
117
00:07:19,467 --> 00:07:24,067
IT'S ALL KIND OF...
OLD.
118
00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:26,767
IT'S--IT'S JUST--
119
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:28,833
THIS--THIS IS NOT
THE IDEAL VACATION
120
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:32,733
FOR A GUY WHO WORKS LIKE A DOG
HIS WHOLE YEAR.
121
00:07:32,733 --> 00:07:35,033
[sniffling]
122
00:07:35,033 --> 00:07:36,667
IT'S CHILLY NOW.
123
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:39,733
I'M GOING IN.
MY NOSE IS RUNNING HERE.
124
00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:41,667
[sniffling]
125
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:56,200
- [heavy Italian accent]
I SPEAK ENGLISH LITTLE.
126
00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:01,167
- OH, YEAH?
HEY, BEAUTIFUL.
127
00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:02,800
- I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
128
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:06,300
IT'S BETTER.
129
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:12,500
NOT SO MUCH
MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH.
130
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,367
- WHAT?
131
00:08:15,367 --> 00:08:20,200
- MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH.
132
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,600
- OH, I GET IT. YEAH.
133
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,233
[in high-pitched voice]
BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH!
134
00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:28,767
- SI.
BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH!
135
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:30,667
- MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH!
136
00:08:30,667 --> 00:08:33,433
- BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH!
- MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH!
137
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:35,500
[laughter]
138
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,367
BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH-BAH.
139
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:50,667
- ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.
140
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,600
NOW WE DON'T
HAVE TIME TO DAWDLE.
141
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,100
OH. WE'VE GOT TO START
SIGHT-SEEING
142
00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,867
IF WE'RE GOING TO STICK
TO MY ITINERARY.
143
00:08:56,867 --> 00:08:57,967
GET UP, FRANK.
144
00:08:57,967 --> 00:08:59,367
COME ON, EVERYONE.
145
00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:01,500
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN,
FUN WITH GRANDMA.
146
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:05,300
COME ON, COME ON.
WHOO! HERE WE GO.
147
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:08,433
- SHE DID PAY FOR THE TRIP.
148
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:14,033
- AND NOW WE PAY.
149
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,933
- WHO WANTS THE BEST
ICE CREAM IN THE WORLD?
150
00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:22,067
- [blows nose]
151
00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:26,533
COME ON,
CHEAP FOREIGN NAPKINS.
152
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,433
- HEY.
153
00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:31,167
- COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU
ALL MOPEY ABOUT?
154
00:09:31,167 --> 00:09:32,600
- I DON'T KNOW.
155
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,467
I CAN'T ENJOY MYSELF
BECAUSE OF MY DILEMMA.
156
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,067
- IT'S NOT A DILEMMA.
157
00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:38,500
- IT IS A DILEMMA, RAYMOND.
158
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:41,233
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE
WITH DILEMMAS.
159
00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:43,200
I GOT AMY, BUT I KEEP THINKING
ABOUT JOANNE.
160
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,400
I CAN'T SORT OUT
MY FEELINGS.
161
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,333
AND I'M IN THE MOST GORGEOUS
PLACE IN THE WORLD,
162
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:49,400
AND I'M SITTING HERE
NEXT TO YOU.
163
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:50,800
- ROBBIE,
HERE'S YOUR PEACH.
164
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,333
RAYMOND, YOU SURE
YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING?
165
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:55,000
- NO, I-I CAN'T TASTE
ANYTHING, MA.
166
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:59,133
- OH, DON'T BE SICK HERE.
167
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:01,367
- YOU KNOW,
I CALLED JOANNE TODAY.
168
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,867
- WHAT?
WHAT, FROM HERE?
169
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:04,033
OH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
170
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:05,700
- I HUNG UP
WHEN SHE ANSWERED.
171
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:09,867
I COULDN'T TALK TO HER.
COST ME 20 BUCKS.
172
00:10:09,867 --> 00:10:13,667
I'M A LOSER.
173
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:17,233
IT'S JUST THAT I WANT--
174
00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:19,800
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.
175
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,367
- WHAT?
176
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:25,367
- THIS.
THIS--THIS IS THE--
177
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:30,600
IT'S AS IF I'VE NEVER TASTED
A PEACH BEFORE.
178
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,033
MMM, MMM, MMM.
179
00:10:32,033 --> 00:10:33,933
- IT'S AS IF YOU'VE NEVER BEEN
IN PUBLIC BEFORE.
180
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:34,967
WOULD YOU STOP IT?
181
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,233
- SCUSATE.
182
00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:38,367
DESIDERATE
QUALCOSA DA BERE?
183
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:44,033
[romantic music playing]
184
00:10:57,733 --> 00:10:59,600
- BUON GIORNO.
185
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,400
- GIORNO.
186
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,933
[Italian accent]
YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO DRINK?
187
00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:07,367
- SI.
188
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:12,600
- LIMONATA?
189
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,067
- SI.
190
00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:22,167
- EXCUSE, PLEASE.
191
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,367
- RAY, IT'S THAT THING.
192
00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:38,567
IT'S THAT THING,
YOU KNOW, WHAT DAD
193
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,067
ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT,
THE THUNDERBOLT.
194
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,700
- WHO, THE GELATO GIRL?
195
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,333
- DON'T CALL HER THAT.
196
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:45,200
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THAT'S WHAT SHE IS.
197
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,833
ALL RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW
HER LONG-TERM GOALS.
198
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,000
- EXCUSE, PLEASE.
199
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,667
- OH, OH, OH, OH--
OH, MY LORD.
200
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,600
G-GRAZIE.
201
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,667
- OKAY. I'M GOING TO GO BLOW
MY NOSE IN THE TABLECLOTH.
202
00:11:58,433 --> 00:12:02,500
- SO DO YOU SPEAK
ENGLISH?
203
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:05,633
- I--A LITTLE.
[giggles]
204
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,933
- SO YOU'RE IN GELATO?
205
00:12:10,933 --> 00:12:12,500
- YES, FOR NOW.
206
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:16,100
- STEFANIA!
E L'ORA DI LAVORARE!
207
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:19,367
- OH, I THINK
YOUR BOSS WANTS YOU BACK.
208
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,100
- I'D BETTER GO.
- WAIT.
209
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:22,200
- STEFANIA!
210
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,633
- ALL RIGHT, PAL.
JEEZ.
211
00:12:25,633 --> 00:12:28,233
HE'S GOT TO LEARN
HOW TO CHILL OUT A LITTLE.
212
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:29,833
WHAT'S WITH THIS GUY?
213
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,200
- HE IS MY FATHER.
214
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,833
- [exhaling deeply]
OH.
215
00:12:33,833 --> 00:12:36,367
THAT'S NICE.
216
00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:39,100
HE'S A HARD WORKER.
217
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:41,800
- I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN?
218
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,733
- SEE ME AGAIN?
219
00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:47,033
OH. OH. YES.
220
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,467
- STEFANIA!
221
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,067
- UH, CIAO.
222
00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:53,200
- CIAO.
223
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:05,400
- HEY, SEXY.
[laughs]
224
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,133
MWAH.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT?
225
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:08,733
- HEY, LISTEN, ROME TODAY.
226
00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:10,700
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
IT'S ONLY A HALF AN HOUR AWAY.
227
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,700
AND COLLETTA'S
GOING TO WATCH THE KIDS.
228
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,400
- YEAH, GREAT.
229
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,833
I HATE
THIS DAMN THING.
230
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:18,833
[sneezes]
231
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:22,133
SPRAYER HAS NO PRESSURE.
232
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:25,933
IT'S LIKE
A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY.
233
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:27,433
STUPID PLACE.
234
00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:30,000
- WOULD YOU LIGHTEN UP?
LOOK WHERE WE ARE.
235
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,333
- I AM LOOKING.
236
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:34,467
I'M TAKING A BATH
LIKE COLUMBUS.
237
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:40,067
HOW 'BOUT
THAT GIORGIO GUY?
238
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:41,667
- WHAT?
239
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:45,000
- I SAW HIM DRINKING
MY LISTERINE, THAT'S WHAT.
240
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:48,733
THIS WHOLE PLACE
IS ANNOYING.
241
00:13:48,733 --> 00:13:51,800
YOU GOT TO CHANGE MONEY.
THAT'S A SCAM.
242
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,467
NOBODY SEES THAT?
HOW CAN THEY NOT SEE THAT?
243
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:56,867
TELL YOU WHAT, SAY WHAT YOU WANT
ABOUT NEW JERSEY--
244
00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:59,433
- [shrieks] RAY!
TURN THE WATER--TURN IT DOWN!
245
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:01,833
- I DON'T--
- PUT IT DOWN!
246
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:05,400
- AAH!
HEY! ARE YOU CRAZY?
247
00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,200
I'M TAKING A SHOWER!
248
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,467
- [speaking Italian]
249
00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:12,400
- OH, MY GOD!
OH, GOD!
250
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,333
- ALZA IL BRACCIO!
- NO!
251
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:15,567
- ALZA IL BRACCIO!
252
00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:17,167
- I WOULD DO WHAT SHE SAYS, RAY.
- NO!
253
00:14:17,167 --> 00:14:19,167
- ALZA IL BRACCIO!
254
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,833
- COULD EVERYBODY LEAVE,
PLEASE?
255
00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:23,900
- HEY, YOU WANT ME TO GET
THE VIDEO CAMERA?
256
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,200
- ALZA IL BRACCIO!
257
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,533
- NO! WILL YOU STOP HITTING ME?
ALL RIGHT?
258
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,667
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME.
I'M AN AMERICAN.
259
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:38,233
- ALZA IL BRACCIO!
260
00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:40,667
ALZA IL BRACCIO!
261
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,600
- THIS WASN'T
IN THE BROCHURE.
262
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:58,300
- OH, LOOK HOW CUTE.
263
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,067
- OKAY.
264
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,833
- WE'RE ALL GETTING IN THAT?
265
00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:08,467
GOOD LUCK, SWEETIE.
266
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:12,533
[laughter]
267
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,667
- I DON'T THINK I'M GOING
TO FIT IN THERE EITHER.
268
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:23,067
- MAYBE YOU CAN SIT ON TOP
AND PUSH WITH YOUR ARMS.
269
00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:29,733
- OH!
- HELLO.
270
00:15:29,733 --> 00:15:31,667
- HELLO--THERE.
271
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:32,833
- WHERE DID YOU GO?
272
00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:35,433
- UH, I WAS, YOU KNOW,
GOING TO GO TO ROME,
273
00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:39,000
LOOK AROUND, ROAM AROUND.
274
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,467
- UH, COME WITH ME.
I CAN SHOW YOU.
275
00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:43,933
- OKAY.
276
00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:46,200
- NOT YOU. GET BACK.
277
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,733
GET BACK!
278
00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,267
- I SHOW YOU ROMA
279
00:15:50,267 --> 00:15:53,933
AND THE LAGO DI BRACCIANO,
WHERE I GROW UP. OKAY?
280
00:15:53,933 --> 00:15:55,967
- YES.
VERY NICE.
281
00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:59,433
- UH, HURRY UP,
BEFORE MY FATHER SEES.
282
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,767
- ROBERT.
283
00:16:03,767 --> 00:16:05,533
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHAT IS THIS?
284
00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:07,933
- THIS IS LUCK.
TOOTS, OVER HERE.
285
00:16:07,933 --> 00:16:09,500
- CIAO!
286
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,267
- CIAO.
287
00:16:12,967 --> 00:16:14,067
[horn honks]
288
00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:15,233
- LOOK AT THIS.
289
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:16,600
ROBERT GETS
THE GELATO GIRL,
290
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,933
AND I GET HOSED DOWN
BY MRS. MUSSOLINI.
291
00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:26,067
[upbeat Italian music]
292
00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:57,233
- OH, LOOK AT THAT.
293
00:17:57,233 --> 00:17:58,967
- AND THE COLORS OF IT--
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
294
00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,200
- THIS IS SOMETHING!
295
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,667
- LOOK AT THE--
LOOK AT THE FOUNTAIN.
296
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:05,500
OH, RAYMOND,
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE HERE.
297
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,167
THESE ARE
THE SPANISH STEPS.
298
00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:09,433
- SPANISH?
299
00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:11,433
I KNEW WE WERE WALKING
TOO LONG.
300
00:18:11,433 --> 00:18:13,833
- THE REASON THEY'RE CALLED
THAT, ACCORDING TO MY BOOK--
301
00:18:13,833 --> 00:18:15,233
- OKAY, SORRY I ASKED.
302
00:18:15,233 --> 00:18:16,767
- OKAY, COME ON.
WE'RE GOING UP.
303
00:18:16,767 --> 00:18:18,067
- DO WE HAVE TO, REALLY?
304
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:20,433
- RAY, THIS IS
THE SPANISH STEPS!
305
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,133
- WHERE'S
THE SPANISH ELEVATOR?
306
00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:24,400
- I'LL GO WITH YOU.
- THANK YOU, MARIE.
307
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,400
ONLY YOU WOULD THINK
OF THESE AS STAIRS.
308
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,233
- WHAT ARE THEY, THEN?
309
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:32,833
- HEY, LET ME CARRY THAT STUFF
FOR YOU, CARA MIA.
310
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:34,767
- THANK YOU, FRANK.
311
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:45,067
- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.
312
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:48,700
WALK, WALK, WALK, WALK.
313
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:52,133
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN.
314
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:54,633
- [speaking Italian]
315
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,967
- EXCUSE ME?
316
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:57,733
- SEI BELLISSIMA,
VERY BEAUTIFUL.
317
00:18:57,733 --> 00:18:59,867
- [laughs]
318
00:18:59,867 --> 00:19:01,000
- NICE HAIR.
319
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,333
- OH, THANK YOU.
320
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,333
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
321
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:07,167
- CIAO, BEAUTIFUL GIRL.
- OKAY, BYE-BYE.
322
00:19:07,167 --> 00:19:08,433
- DON'T SAY "BYE" TO THEM.
323
00:19:08,433 --> 00:19:10,033
- WHY NOT?
THEY WERE VERY NICE.
324
00:19:10,033 --> 00:19:11,633
- VERY NICE.
YOU TALKED TO THEM.
325
00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:13,233
NOW THEY'RE GOING
TO FOLLOW YOU HOME.
326
00:19:13,233 --> 00:19:15,467
- OH, WOULD YOU STOP IT?
- NO, YOU STOP.
327
00:19:15,467 --> 00:19:18,700
YOU LIKE THAT,
"HEY, CACHA POOCHIE."
328
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:21,333
NOW, LISTEN,
YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF, OKAY?
329
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,567
THEY GOT
ONE THING ON THEIR MIND.
330
00:19:22,567 --> 00:19:25,700
THAT'S HOW
ITALIAN MEN ARE.
331
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:29,567
- NOT ALL OF THEM.
332
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,067
- HEY. WHAT?
333
00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:34,667
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
334
00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:38,467
HEY, YOU GOT NOTHING BETTER
TO DO BUT OGLE WOMEN?
335
00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:41,700
YOU SHOULD START WORKING
ON A STAND-UP SHOWER.
336
00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:45,600
AW!
337
00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:51,733
ANYWAY,
SO THE KIDS WANT TO SLEEP
338
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,133
WITH GRANDMA AND DEBRA,
339
00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:56,700
SO I'M GOING TO SLEEP HERE
WITH YOU, OKAY?
340
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,933
- NO PROBLEM.
341
00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:04,367
JUST DON'T HOG THE COVERS,
AND IT'LL BE AN UPGRADE FOR ME.
342
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,500
YOU GETTING UNDRESSED
OR WHAT?
343
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,367
- I'LL MAKE
A DEAL WITH YOU.
344
00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:12,500
I'LL TAKE SOMETHING OFF;
YOU PUT SOMETHING ON.
345
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,433
- GOOD NIGHT,
THERE, SON.
346
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:18,733
- YEAH.
347
00:20:18,733 --> 00:20:22,067
- [grunts]
ALL RIGHT.
348
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:24,200
- GOOD NIGHT.
349
00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:33,433
- IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE,
HUH?
350
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:37,100
- OH. YEAH.
YEAH, GOOD NIGHT.
351
00:20:40,467 --> 00:20:43,800
- I'LL TELL YOU,
WHEN YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME
352
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,600
SHE'D BEEN HIDING
THAT MONEY FROM ME,
353
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,267
I WAS THINKING
WHAT DRESS TO LAY HER OUT IN.
354
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,167
BUT NOW I'M HERE...
355
00:20:58,167 --> 00:21:02,733
IN FRIGGIN' ITALY.
356
00:21:02,733 --> 00:21:06,133
IT'S LIKE A DREAM.
357
00:21:06,133 --> 00:21:09,733
I'M FROM LYNBROOK.
I WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE.
358
00:21:09,733 --> 00:21:13,067
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE
IN SUCH A PLACE.
359
00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:16,967
- I WAS JUST WONDERING,
360
00:21:16,967 --> 00:21:21,067
COULD YOUR LEG
BE IN ANOTHER PLACE?
361
00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:30,333
- I HAPPEN
TO BE SERIOUS.
362
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:33,467
- ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
363
00:21:35,433 --> 00:21:40,300
- NO, I KNOW I-I COMPLAIN
ABOUT STUFF AND ALL THAT,
364
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:45,567
BUT...
I'M A LUCKY MAN.
365
00:21:45,567 --> 00:21:49,100
[sniffling]
366
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:52,233
[crying]
I'M A VERY LUCKY MAN.
367
00:22:01,133 --> 00:22:04,267
- I'M NOT HOLDING HIM.
368
00:22:10,967 --> 00:22:15,000
- MMM, MMM, MMM!
369
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,767
THANKS FOR ALL THE GELATO,
STEFANIA.
370
00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:21,133
ALL THE GELATO YOU WANT--
371
00:22:21,133 --> 00:22:24,900
YOU HAVE A GREAT LIFE.
372
00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:27,767
- I'M GLAD YOU LIKE.
373
00:22:27,767 --> 00:22:30,700
- I LIKE EVERYTHING.
374
00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,167
[door opens]
375
00:22:55,833 --> 00:22:58,767
I FULLY INTEND
TO PAY FOR THIS.
25189
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