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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,404 --> 00:00:56,464 That wasn't a store robbery. 2 00:00:56,541 --> 00:00:58,532 That was an assassination. 3 00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:01,704 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy. 4 00:01:01,779 --> 00:01:04,873 How do I know? 5 00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:08,612 I spent a little time with the FBI's organized crime unit. 6 00:01:08,686 --> 00:01:10,847 You could say that I'm intimately knowledgeable... 7 00:01:10,922 --> 00:01:13,322 with the rancorous workings of the Mob... 8 00:01:13,391 --> 00:01:15,825 in the midwest section of this country. 9 00:01:15,894 --> 00:01:19,489 I know gangland slayings, and that's exactly what this is. 10 00:01:19,564 --> 00:01:22,931 I'd look into it personally, but I got a date tonight. 11 00:01:24,068 --> 00:01:27,265 Think I'll take the private jet and fly to Spain, 12 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,238 pick up the little lady, 13 00:01:29,307 --> 00:01:31,798 do the subsonic tummy bump at 30,000 feet... 14 00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:35,039 then glide back into the U.S. Of A. By dawn. 15 00:01:35,113 --> 00:01:39,516 I know what you're gonna say: "Jim Dodge, settle down. 16 00:01:39,584 --> 00:01:41,711 Relax. You owe it to yourself." 17 00:01:41,786 --> 00:01:44,550 I'll tell you what I tell everybody. 18 00:01:44,622 --> 00:01:47,682 Any little fraulein that expects anything more from me... 19 00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,784 than a little bit of pleasure, danger... 20 00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:51,920 and a great set of pectorals, 21 00:01:51,996 --> 00:01:54,590 she's looking for a fall right on her ass. 22 00:01:56,734 --> 00:01:58,725 [Barking] 23 00:01:58,803 --> 00:02:01,772 - Hubie, Hubie! - Let me tell you something. 24 00:02:01,839 --> 00:02:05,240 If you know what's good for you, don't you ever come back! 25 00:02:06,177 --> 00:02:08,611 You're not gonna find someone who has the relationship... 26 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,547 with those animals that I do. 27 00:02:11,616 --> 00:02:14,517 Listen to the dogs. They love me! 28 00:02:15,954 --> 00:02:19,014 It all started when I was 15. 29 00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:22,423 That's when I invented the artificial cow heart. 30 00:02:22,493 --> 00:02:25,326 Oh, that was a big thing. 31 00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:28,297 A little before your time, but it made the newspapers. 32 00:02:28,366 --> 00:02:31,392 ABC, NBC, CBS, they picked up on it. 33 00:02:31,469 --> 00:02:34,199 But it's more or less a hobby for me, boys. 34 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,374 [Boy] Scoot over! 35 00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:42,145 Actually, today I decided... 36 00:02:42,213 --> 00:02:47,173 I've gone about as far as I can go in the animal health-care business. 37 00:02:47,252 --> 00:02:51,245 The reason that I'm not at work this afternoon... 38 00:02:51,322 --> 00:02:54,951 is because I was made an offer I cannot refuse. I sold. 39 00:02:55,026 --> 00:02:56,926 Whatcha gonna do with the cash? 40 00:02:56,995 --> 00:03:00,192 Invest it overseas, projects in Eastern Europe. 41 00:03:00,265 --> 00:03:02,665 I don't know. I've got everything. 42 00:03:02,734 --> 00:03:05,828 Jim, you just bought the animal hospital. 43 00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:08,371 How come you sold it so fast? 44 00:03:09,974 --> 00:03:11,908 Tax problem. 45 00:03:11,976 --> 00:03:14,240 And here's my accountant right now. 46 00:03:14,312 --> 00:03:17,338 Earl, take a bow. Ha-ha-ha! 47 00:03:17,415 --> 00:03:20,384 20 minutes for lunch. Go buy another suit. 48 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,510 He works for me. 49 00:03:22,587 --> 00:03:25,420 He's scouting some real estate for me, 50 00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:27,617 but the market's real tight. 51 00:03:30,695 --> 00:03:32,822 I like the new uniform, Lorraine. 52 00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:37,196 With the right shoes and handbag, 53 00:03:37,268 --> 00:03:39,702 that might be suitable for a cocktail party. 54 00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:42,501 So... question. 55 00:03:42,573 --> 00:03:45,599 When in the world are you going to start serving sashimi? 56 00:03:45,677 --> 00:03:48,373 Maybe when I find out what it is. 57 00:03:50,148 --> 00:03:52,844 You've never heard of sashimi? 58 00:03:52,917 --> 00:03:55,408 You've got to be kidding. 59 00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:58,284 It's this special Japanese fish you eat raw. 60 00:03:58,356 --> 00:04:00,290 A little butter sauce, 61 00:04:00,358 --> 00:04:02,849 and you're ready to go to heaven. 62 00:04:02,927 --> 00:04:07,660 I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't already fired you so many times. 63 00:04:07,732 --> 00:04:10,565 Did you ever think of leaving town? 64 00:04:12,437 --> 00:04:15,600 Thousands of people over in St. Louis... 65 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:20,440 got no idea how full of shit you are. 66 00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:24,038 You've been alive for 21 years, my friend. 67 00:04:24,115 --> 00:04:26,049 Plenty of time for most people... 68 00:04:26,117 --> 00:04:28,449 to find a place for themselves. 69 00:04:30,088 --> 00:04:34,081 Well, I'm not like everybody else. 70 00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:37,184 - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah, that's for sure. 71 00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:41,698 How about if I... 72 00:04:41,766 --> 00:04:44,234 I work for you for free? 73 00:04:44,302 --> 00:04:46,236 [Bell] 74 00:04:46,304 --> 00:04:48,772 No. 75 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,865 I'm afraid not, Jimmy. 76 00:04:51,976 --> 00:04:54,444 Think about St. Louis. 77 00:04:55,813 --> 00:04:57,747 - Hey, Josie. - Hi. 78 00:04:57,815 --> 00:05:00,841 - Fill her up? - Fill her up. 79 00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:21,064 How you doin'? 80 00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:40,819 You got fired again, didn't you? Didn't you? 81 00:05:40,892 --> 00:05:42,951 Who told you that? 82 00:05:43,027 --> 00:05:47,623 - Hubie Marshall called me at work. - He called you at work? 83 00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:50,758 That's it, I'm gonna... What'd he say? 84 00:05:50,835 --> 00:05:52,769 He said he fired ya! 85 00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:56,206 He said that? And you believed him? 86 00:05:56,274 --> 00:05:58,367 Damn straight I do! 87 00:05:58,443 --> 00:06:01,708 With all due respect, Dad, you're Mr. Gullible. Sometimes. 88 00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,507 The truth of the matter is, Dad, I resigned. 89 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:10,049 - I'll tell you something else. - Shut up, Jimmy! 90 00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:13,056 I had no idea the job was gonna be a hire/fire situation. 91 00:06:14,158 --> 00:06:16,558 Luther Betenhauser's boy is doing better. 92 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,061 - What's wrong with him? - Fell off his grandfather's silo. 93 00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:22,293 - He's got brain damage. - He does not. 94 00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:25,893 Hoover Fey says his tongue's gonna hang out his mouth the rest of his life. 95 00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,733 And when he dies, 96 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:30,330 at the funeral they're gonna put a mask on him. 97 00:06:30,408 --> 00:06:33,935 Do I have to listen to this while I'm eating? 98 00:06:34,011 --> 00:06:35,945 Let's talk about something else. 99 00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:42,316 Josie McClellan moved to New York. 100 00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:45,813 She did not. I saw her today. 101 00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:48,381 I don't know how you could. 102 00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:51,394 I heard she got tired of taking care of her father, 103 00:06:51,462 --> 00:06:53,828 and she told him to jump in a lake, 104 00:06:53,898 --> 00:06:56,093 and left to get her M.B.A. In high-fashion design... 105 00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:58,362 at the University of New York City. 106 00:06:59,237 --> 00:07:02,866 I just saw her at the gas station in living color. 107 00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:04,908 We had a cup of java together. 108 00:07:04,976 --> 00:07:09,106 I'm gonna take Lou Selby's word over yours any day. 109 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:11,239 Lou Selby's a drunk. 110 00:07:13,417 --> 00:07:15,510 For a guy who's just lost his umpteenth job, 111 00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:18,053 you sure are handy with the tongue sword. 112 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:22,248 - You got canned again? - Well, he didn't get canned. 113 00:07:23,258 --> 00:07:25,419 He got fired. 114 00:07:25,494 --> 00:07:27,519 That's gotta be a record. 115 00:07:31,733 --> 00:07:33,701 Not only are you an obnoxious slug, 116 00:07:33,769 --> 00:07:36,260 but you're a freeloading obnoxious slug. 117 00:07:36,338 --> 00:07:38,306 You should talk. 118 00:07:38,373 --> 00:07:40,637 In your mid-forties, still living at home. 119 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:45,305 I'm twenty-four, and I pay rent. 120 00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:47,644 - So do I. - You did pay rent. 121 00:07:47,716 --> 00:07:51,948 Dad, you mean you're cutting my rent? 122 00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:54,250 Hell, no! 123 00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:57,292 You're not paying rent because you don't have a job or any money. 124 00:07:57,359 --> 00:08:00,021 You're out of school and you live in this house, you pay rent. 125 00:08:05,667 --> 00:08:08,568 # I wanna stay home # 126 00:08:10,505 --> 00:08:14,339 # I wanna stay home right here # 127 00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:18,436 # I wanna stay home today # 128 00:08:19,514 --> 00:08:22,176 Jim! Yo, Jim! 129 00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,378 Jim, wake up! 130 00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:26,546 Hey, get up! 131 00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:31,724 Get u-u-up! 132 00:08:32,594 --> 00:08:35,563 # When my day begins ## 133 00:08:35,631 --> 00:08:38,964 [Jim] You know, getting this job, 134 00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:42,834 restoring your faith and pride in me is a number-1 priority. 135 00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:45,897 Priority ought to be making something of yourself. 136 00:08:45,974 --> 00:08:47,908 That's right up there. 137 00:08:47,976 --> 00:08:51,810 When I was your age, I couldn't wait to get out of my folks' house. 138 00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:55,415 I love living at home. 139 00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:08,924 I don't think this is such a great place for me to work. 140 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,701 Okay, 141 00:09:13,769 --> 00:09:17,637 say I don't get this job, hypothetically. 142 00:09:17,706 --> 00:09:19,139 Are you gonna be upset? 143 00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:22,574 You don't get this job, you're on a bus to St. Louis. 144 00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:24,339 St. Louis? 145 00:09:24,413 --> 00:09:26,540 Uncle Jeff's offered you work in his garden shop. 146 00:09:26,615 --> 00:09:29,015 I don't know anything about gardening. 147 00:09:29,084 --> 00:09:31,382 You will learn! 148 00:09:31,453 --> 00:09:34,581 I'm getting a feeling that you want me out of your life. 149 00:09:34,656 --> 00:09:37,819 I don't want you out of my life, I want you out of my house. 150 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,295 - Wow. - Out! 151 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,058 Okay, okay, okay. 152 00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:03,276 - Sure I can't offer you a bear claw? - No, thanks. 153 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,844 - They're good, fresh. - No, I'm fine. 154 00:10:06,922 --> 00:10:10,289 You don't want one, and I don't need one. 155 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,953 - Right! - I love the darn things, though. 156 00:10:13,028 --> 00:10:16,930 I could eat those by the dozen. By the looks of it, I have. 157 00:10:16,999 --> 00:10:18,933 Right. 158 00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:21,970 I'm so excited that you're considering... 159 00:10:22,037 --> 00:10:25,336 joining the Target team. We all are. 160 00:10:26,942 --> 00:10:28,204 I appreciate that. 161 00:10:28,276 --> 00:10:31,768 Good. Then let's cut right to the chase. 162 00:10:33,181 --> 00:10:36,514 We're prepared to offer you $42,500 a year... 163 00:10:36,585 --> 00:10:38,712 with a full benefit package. 164 00:10:38,787 --> 00:10:41,153 That's dental, medical, 165 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:43,384 profit sharing, pension, 166 00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:46,427 expense account, car allowance, 167 00:10:46,495 --> 00:10:48,156 vacation, of course, 168 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:52,291 and any and all relocating expenses. 169 00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:56,463 This is our first, best, and last offer. What do you think? 170 00:10:57,172 --> 00:11:00,039 Well... um, C. D... 171 00:11:00,108 --> 00:11:01,905 with all due respect, 172 00:11:01,977 --> 00:11:03,945 I came in here... 173 00:11:04,012 --> 00:11:06,674 with the number forty-five in mind, and... 174 00:11:10,786 --> 00:11:14,051 ## ["Jeopardy Theme"] 175 00:11:24,666 --> 00:11:26,725 Hmph. 176 00:11:28,837 --> 00:11:31,431 [Chuckling] You've got me. 177 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:35,433 - Forty-five it is. - [Laughing] 178 00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:38,274 - Welcome aboard. - Thank you. 179 00:11:38,346 --> 00:11:40,644 - I'd like to buy you lunch. - No, no, no. 180 00:11:40,715 --> 00:11:42,910 Your money's no good here. Lunch is mine. 181 00:11:42,984 --> 00:11:45,919 - I'm not going to argue. - Better not. I'm bigger than you. 182 00:11:45,987 --> 00:11:47,921 [Intercom Buzzer] 183 00:11:47,989 --> 00:11:50,480 Hang on a second. I told her to hold my calls. 184 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:53,619 Yeah, Peg. Uh-huh. 185 00:11:53,695 --> 00:11:55,890 No, it's okay. 186 00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:59,092 - He's right here with me now. - Hi, Peg. 187 00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:01,658 We just closed the deal. Uh-huh. 188 00:12:01,736 --> 00:12:06,070 It was a slam-dunk, too. I got him for forty-five. 189 00:12:06,141 --> 00:12:10,737 [Chuckling] 190 00:12:10,812 --> 00:12:13,337 No, he's right here. 191 00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:17,351 What do you mean he missed the plane? 192 00:12:19,588 --> 00:12:21,681 Then who the hell am I talking to? 193 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,426 Ohhh! 194 00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:31,398 I'll, uh... I'll get back to you. 195 00:12:31,466 --> 00:12:33,900 I know a great, little Italian place... 196 00:12:33,969 --> 00:12:36,403 that has the best pasta primatonis in the wor... 197 00:12:36,471 --> 00:12:38,405 Excuse me a minute, will you please? 198 00:12:38,473 --> 00:12:41,499 - Lovely wife you have there. - Dodge, James? 199 00:12:42,911 --> 00:12:46,005 - Mm-hmm. - [Clears Throat] 200 00:12:46,081 --> 00:12:48,606 James, I'm afraid we have a little misunderstanding. 201 00:12:48,683 --> 00:12:51,516 You see, I thought you came in for the, uh... 202 00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:55,044 operations manager's job. 203 00:12:55,123 --> 00:12:58,559 I have you down here as night cleanup boy. 204 00:13:00,962 --> 00:13:02,827 Well, I'm a little overpaid... 205 00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:05,696 for night cleanup boy, wouldn't you say? 206 00:13:07,335 --> 00:13:11,669 The truth is, James, I can offer you $4.44 per hour. 207 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,035 Uh, four, four... $4.44... 208 00:13:18,113 --> 00:13:21,480 - $4.44. - What about the benefits? 209 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,984 Two fifteen-minute breaks and a half hour for lunch. 210 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:29,422 And the title is, uh, night... cleanup boy. 211 00:13:29,491 --> 00:13:31,322 Yes. 212 00:13:33,628 --> 00:13:34,856 I'll take it. 213 00:13:34,930 --> 00:13:37,558 Oh, and, uh... Iose the curl. 214 00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:42,892 - Welcome to the Target team. - Thank you. 215 00:13:42,971 --> 00:13:46,236 [Man] So the parrot says, "Of course I can talk." 216 00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:49,141 - Can you fly? - [Laughing] 217 00:13:50,812 --> 00:13:54,942 I don't want any damn Japanese automobile plant in this town. 218 00:13:57,586 --> 00:14:00,612 It... it means jobs. 219 00:14:00,689 --> 00:14:02,748 I don't need a job. 220 00:14:02,824 --> 00:14:05,588 Your governor's tryin' to use my town as a political chip. 221 00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:07,389 [Roger] I resent that. 222 00:14:07,462 --> 00:14:11,330 There could be some specific benefits for you personally. 223 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,928 [Roger] Josie! 224 00:14:19,874 --> 00:14:22,035 - Yeah? - Come here. 225 00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:25,346 Meet these gentlemen from the governor's office. 226 00:14:26,481 --> 00:14:29,780 Come on in here, honey. 227 00:14:43,431 --> 00:14:46,867 Honey, I want you to meet Bill, uh... 228 00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:50,597 Uh, Bob. Bob Bosenbeck. 229 00:14:53,608 --> 00:14:55,098 Bob. 230 00:15:11,025 --> 00:15:12,117 Dave. 231 00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:17,495 My pleasure, Dave. 232 00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:22,593 Right. Dave Hockner. 233 00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:25,696 I don't want to interrupt. 234 00:15:25,773 --> 00:15:27,968 Very nice to meet both of you. 235 00:15:28,042 --> 00:15:29,669 Bye. 236 00:15:29,744 --> 00:15:31,678 [Hockner] Bye. 237 00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:39,276 [Roger] Josie? 238 00:15:39,353 --> 00:15:41,287 Josie! 239 00:15:43,791 --> 00:15:45,725 [Footsteps] 240 00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:51,930 You pull another stunt like you did today, 241 00:15:51,999 --> 00:15:55,264 I'll beat the livin' daylights outta you! 242 00:16:03,878 --> 00:16:06,813 [Passionate Moaning] 243 00:16:14,388 --> 00:16:17,687 - [Gasping] - All right, out! 244 00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:19,953 [Screaming] 245 00:16:20,027 --> 00:16:23,428 Out of the vehicle, ma'am. Get out of here! 246 00:16:23,497 --> 00:16:25,465 Get out of the car! 247 00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:47,180 Right on time! 248 00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:52,458 Everything's going as planned. 249 00:16:53,594 --> 00:16:54,856 You ordered a limousine? 250 00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:58,664 Of course. 251 00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:00,667 My first day of work. 252 00:17:00,735 --> 00:17:03,829 How's it gonna look if my dad drives me? 253 00:17:03,904 --> 00:17:05,838 A little treat for getting the job. 254 00:17:05,906 --> 00:17:07,897 It was only fifty bucks. 255 00:17:07,975 --> 00:17:10,307 [Whistling] 256 00:17:10,378 --> 00:17:13,279 - Right on time, Henry. - Yes, sir. 257 00:17:13,347 --> 00:17:17,181 Henry, the sign... very wrong. 258 00:17:20,021 --> 00:17:22,046 Ciao! 259 00:17:28,963 --> 00:17:31,124 Hey, Jim, where you going? 260 00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:34,363 Hello, boys. 261 00:17:34,435 --> 00:17:36,960 Going to Paris on an F-14. 262 00:17:37,038 --> 00:17:39,836 Got a peace meeting with the vice president of Bulgaria. 263 00:17:39,907 --> 00:17:42,899 Business, you know? Then I'm going to Venice, 264 00:17:42,977 --> 00:17:45,275 for a spaghetti dinner with the princess of Austria. 265 00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:48,213 A beautiful lady... really big bones. 266 00:17:48,282 --> 00:17:50,910 Remember to brush your teeth, Melvin! 267 00:17:50,985 --> 00:17:54,477 You, too, Sidney! Adios! 268 00:17:56,157 --> 00:17:59,684 Jim is so cool! 269 00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:04,763 ## [Pop] 270 00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:26,037 Bobby. 271 00:19:27,848 --> 00:19:30,248 Got a loose tile here. In the morning... 272 00:19:30,317 --> 00:19:32,114 take care of it. 273 00:19:32,186 --> 00:19:35,053 I don't need a lawsuit, okay? 274 00:19:35,122 --> 00:19:37,352 I've got enough to worry about. 275 00:19:39,126 --> 00:19:40,354 Who's he? 276 00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:42,396 [P.A. System] Attention, shoppers. 277 00:19:42,463 --> 00:19:44,397 The store will be closing in five minutes. 278 00:19:44,465 --> 00:19:47,559 Bring all your purchases to the front. 279 00:19:47,635 --> 00:19:50,570 ## [Continues] 280 00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:31,310 - Are you a slacker? - No, uh, Presbyterian. 281 00:20:31,378 --> 00:20:33,573 What did you say? What did you say? 282 00:20:33,647 --> 00:20:35,774 I'm askin' you a simple question. 283 00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:37,943 - Are you lazy? - No, sir. 284 00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:42,045 The last guy that wore that uniform was a lazy slacker, and I fired his butt. 285 00:20:43,624 --> 00:20:47,788 Uh, about the uniform, will I be getting my own? 286 00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:51,992 You work out, which I doubt, you can have a new name patch. 287 00:20:57,171 --> 00:21:01,505 Would I be able to have it laundered? It smells a little like Darnell. 288 00:21:01,575 --> 00:21:03,907 I don't think you know who you're messin' with. 289 00:21:04,812 --> 00:21:06,837 After you clean the ladies' and mens' crappers... 290 00:21:06,914 --> 00:21:09,974 and you'd better be able to eat off those bowls... 291 00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:12,848 you clean my coffee maker, then wax my desk. 292 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,047 Uh, clean what? 293 00:21:15,122 --> 00:21:18,558 - Clean my coffee maker and wax my desk! - I got it! 294 00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:21,186 Sweep the aisles, startin' with health and beauty. 295 00:21:21,262 --> 00:21:23,196 Work your way over to juniors and misses. 296 00:21:23,264 --> 00:21:25,698 Ups and downs, leaving your debris in the cross aisles. 297 00:21:25,766 --> 00:21:27,700 So, I start with health and beauty... 298 00:21:27,768 --> 00:21:29,759 I just said to start with health and beauty! 299 00:21:29,837 --> 00:21:32,135 Then you do your cross aisles. 300 00:21:32,206 --> 00:21:34,140 That'll bring your dust bin into play. 301 00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:36,233 Take the debris. Load it into the dustbin. 302 00:21:36,310 --> 00:21:39,211 Take the dustbin out to the loading dock... 303 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,214 and empty it into the receptacle. 304 00:21:41,282 --> 00:21:43,807 - Got that? Easy as pie. - Yeah. 305 00:21:43,884 --> 00:21:45,977 I was employed briefly at Del Taco, and... 306 00:21:46,053 --> 00:21:48,621 I don't care about your Del Taco experience. 307 00:21:48,755 --> 00:21:51,053 We've got this problem in this store with grazers. 308 00:21:51,124 --> 00:21:54,685 - You know what a grazer is? - Is that a farm term? 309 00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:58,754 It's a customer or employee that eats off the shelves, 310 00:21:58,831 --> 00:22:01,356 similar to a cow grazing in a field of grass. 311 00:22:01,434 --> 00:22:04,062 Only this isn't a field of grass, and you're not a cow. 312 00:22:04,137 --> 00:22:06,799 There's no eatin'. You're not being paid to eat, so don't! 313 00:22:06,873 --> 00:22:09,740 - Any questions? - Not right off hand. 314 00:22:09,809 --> 00:22:12,243 - Think you can handle it? - I'll give it the old college try. 315 00:22:12,311 --> 00:22:14,336 Don't touch me! 316 00:22:14,414 --> 00:22:17,110 Well, despite our age difference, 317 00:22:17,183 --> 00:22:19,151 I think I'll enjoy working with you. 318 00:22:19,218 --> 00:22:21,482 Let's get something straight. You ain't workin' with me. 319 00:22:21,554 --> 00:22:23,488 You're working for me. 320 00:22:23,556 --> 00:22:27,253 - Still, it'll be fun being around you. - I ain't gonna be near you. 321 00:22:27,326 --> 00:22:29,954 I'm gonna be home pumping the pasties out of Colleen Jackson. 322 00:22:30,029 --> 00:22:34,022 - You're not going to be here? - Hell, no. 323 00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,694 I'm gonna be here by myself? 324 00:22:38,271 --> 00:22:42,037 That's right. And you'd better stay out of the ladies' undergoods. 325 00:22:43,476 --> 00:22:46,877 Wait a minute! Nobody told me I'd be here alone. 326 00:22:46,946 --> 00:22:49,414 - What are you doing? - Saving money. 327 00:22:49,482 --> 00:22:51,541 Wait! Are you turning off the lights? 328 00:22:51,617 --> 00:22:54,142 In 25 seconds, you got light in every third aisle. 329 00:22:54,220 --> 00:22:56,586 When the sun comes up, turn off all the lights. 330 00:22:56,656 --> 00:22:57,023 I don't understand. Hold on! 331 00:22:57,023 --> 00:23:00,254 I don't understand. Hold on! 332 00:23:00,326 --> 00:23:02,191 I'm locking you in. 333 00:23:02,261 --> 00:23:04,354 When I come back at 7:00 to open up, 334 00:23:04,430 --> 00:23:05,863 I'll let you out. 335 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:11,495 - You're locking me in? - What do you take me for, a fool? 336 00:23:11,571 --> 00:23:14,972 Nobody gets keys on their first night. Nobody! 337 00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:17,236 Get to work! 338 00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:20,336 - What if there's a fire? - The fire department will come. 339 00:23:20,413 --> 00:23:24,747 - I could perish! - Ha-ha-ha. Boo! 340 00:23:24,817 --> 00:23:27,251 You can't do this. I'm locked in, alone, in the dark. 341 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:31,256 That was not a part of my employment agreement. 342 00:24:18,671 --> 00:24:22,869 # You got to wash with the crocodile in the river # 343 00:24:22,942 --> 00:24:27,436 # You got to swim with the sharks in the sea # 344 00:24:27,513 --> 00:24:31,574 # You got to live with the crooked politician # 345 00:24:31,651 --> 00:24:34,745 # Trust those things that you can never see # 346 00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:39,257 # Ay yeah, yeah Ay yeah, yeah # 347 00:24:39,325 --> 00:24:41,885 # Ay yeah, yeah Ay yeah, yeah # 348 00:24:41,961 --> 00:24:43,155 Agh! 349 00:24:51,837 --> 00:24:56,467 # It's a cruel, crazy beautiful world # 350 00:24:56,542 --> 00:25:01,639 # Every day you wake up I hope it's a blue, blue sky # 351 00:25:04,183 --> 00:25:08,711 # It's a cruel, crazy beautiful world # 352 00:25:08,788 --> 00:25:10,847 # One day when you wake up # 353 00:25:10,923 --> 00:25:14,017 # I will have to say good-bye # 354 00:25:16,362 --> 00:25:18,159 # Say good-bye # 355 00:25:23,603 --> 00:25:27,471 # It's your world so live in it, good-bye # 356 00:25:27,540 --> 00:25:30,907 # It's your world so live in it... ## 357 00:25:46,993 --> 00:25:49,018 9:17! 358 00:25:51,464 --> 00:25:53,728 Time for a break. 359 00:26:18,824 --> 00:26:20,052 Hello. 360 00:26:22,294 --> 00:26:24,228 Anybody out there? 361 00:26:24,296 --> 00:26:26,264 When I accepted... 362 00:26:26,332 --> 00:26:30,860 the post of president, grand poobah of Target, 363 00:26:30,936 --> 00:26:34,770 realizing that I had brought... 364 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,434 meaningfulness, peace, and happiness... 365 00:26:37,510 --> 00:26:39,705 into the lives of thousands of people. 366 00:26:39,779 --> 00:26:43,215 Jim Dodge, of Monroe, 367 00:26:43,282 --> 00:26:45,307 top moneymaker on the tour. 368 00:26:45,384 --> 00:26:47,614 His father's here today, Bud Dodge, 369 00:26:47,687 --> 00:26:49,655 and sister Penny, a sad, sad story, 370 00:26:49,722 --> 00:26:52,657 was just admitted to University Hospital. 371 00:26:52,725 --> 00:26:56,627 While trying to pop a zit, her head mysteriously exploded. 372 00:27:18,617 --> 00:27:20,551 [Phone Ringing] 373 00:27:20,619 --> 00:27:22,450 [Jim] Dad! Hi! 374 00:27:22,521 --> 00:27:24,512 Do you know what time it is? 375 00:27:24,590 --> 00:27:27,957 I'm starting to think about Christmas and gifts, 376 00:27:28,027 --> 00:27:31,827 because I'm in a big store and I'm getting gift ideas. 377 00:27:31,897 --> 00:27:34,764 - Hi. - Mom, hi! 378 00:27:34,834 --> 00:27:36,768 How's it going? 379 00:27:36,836 --> 00:27:38,804 I finished all my janitor stuff. 380 00:27:38,871 --> 00:27:41,362 Most of it. I've got to save some for later. 381 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:45,843 - It's easy as hell. - Uh, honey, it's a little late. 382 00:27:45,911 --> 00:27:48,277 It is kind of late. 383 00:27:48,347 --> 00:27:50,872 Sleep tight. 384 00:27:50,950 --> 00:27:53,111 See you in the morning. 385 00:27:53,185 --> 00:27:55,881 - [Dial Tone] - Love you, too. 386 00:27:59,759 --> 00:28:02,626 Mr. James Dodge! 387 00:28:58,116 --> 00:29:01,051 He can't be happy as the night cleanup boy. 388 00:29:02,988 --> 00:29:05,388 Sweetheart, 389 00:29:05,457 --> 00:29:08,722 he wants us to call him a janitor. 390 00:29:10,729 --> 00:29:13,459 Maybe I should have spent less time harping... 391 00:29:13,531 --> 00:29:15,829 and more time helping. 392 00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:19,358 Harpin' and helpin' him what? 393 00:29:19,437 --> 00:29:23,567 Harpin' on him to leave, and helpin' him become... 394 00:29:23,642 --> 00:29:27,408 the good, mature, productive person he could be. 395 00:30:56,701 --> 00:30:58,999 Are you all right? 396 00:31:00,338 --> 00:31:03,205 Yes, I'm fine, thanks. And you? 397 00:31:04,709 --> 00:31:06,233 What are you doing here? 398 00:31:08,012 --> 00:31:09,775 I work here. 399 00:31:09,848 --> 00:31:12,078 Have a good one, Officer Don. 400 00:31:12,150 --> 00:31:16,177 Okay, Carl. Let me know if you hear anything. 401 00:31:16,254 --> 00:31:18,620 You bet. 402 00:31:18,690 --> 00:31:21,784 Well, sir, she didn't leave on the bus. 403 00:31:21,860 --> 00:31:25,023 Let's look for her someplace else. 404 00:31:25,096 --> 00:31:27,860 She wouldn't be dumb enough to thumb, would she? 405 00:31:27,932 --> 00:31:31,868 Does she have any friends she might have run off with? 406 00:31:32,804 --> 00:31:33,930 Boyfriends? 407 00:31:34,005 --> 00:31:37,907 Just get in the car so we can look for the girl. 408 00:31:37,976 --> 00:31:41,139 I'm tired, haven't had any coffee. 409 00:31:41,212 --> 00:31:44,010 My daughter, I don't know where the hell she is. 410 00:31:44,082 --> 00:31:46,448 And you're sounding like some goddamn preacher! 411 00:31:46,518 --> 00:31:48,452 Come on, get in the car! 412 00:31:50,054 --> 00:31:51,919 Prick. 413 00:31:56,094 --> 00:31:58,790 Are you sure you didn't hurt yourself? 414 00:31:58,863 --> 00:32:01,388 Oh, no. Are you kidding? 415 00:32:01,466 --> 00:32:04,060 No, I'm fine. I'm fine. 416 00:32:04,135 --> 00:32:06,330 Can I ask what you were doing? 417 00:32:06,404 --> 00:32:08,395 I was roller-skating. 418 00:32:08,473 --> 00:32:11,374 - I know, but why? - Why not? 419 00:32:11,442 --> 00:32:14,900 I got bored. One thing led to another... 420 00:32:14,979 --> 00:32:18,312 and I'm roller-skating in my shorts. 421 00:32:18,383 --> 00:32:21,181 Better question would be, "What are you doing here?" 422 00:32:21,252 --> 00:32:22,913 Shopping. 423 00:32:24,222 --> 00:32:26,190 We've been closed for five hours. 424 00:32:26,257 --> 00:32:28,555 Yeah. I fell asleep. 425 00:32:28,626 --> 00:32:31,390 - While shopping? - No, in the ladies' dressing room. 426 00:32:31,462 --> 00:32:35,125 That makes no sense. You're a high-profile young ingenue. 427 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,296 I was debating whether or not to get arrested for shoplifting. 428 00:32:40,438 --> 00:32:43,566 Your father owns $10 million worth of real estate. 429 00:32:43,641 --> 00:32:47,077 - It's not my fault. - I didn't imply such. 430 00:32:47,145 --> 00:32:49,511 It seems funny that someone of your... 431 00:32:50,381 --> 00:32:53,350 - Wealth? - If you will. Would shoplift. 432 00:32:53,418 --> 00:32:56,251 I didn't do it. I chickened out. 433 00:32:57,322 --> 00:32:58,949 Would consider shoplifting. 434 00:33:00,024 --> 00:33:03,551 It's a long, self-indulgent, highly unromantic story... 435 00:33:03,628 --> 00:33:05,960 about an overbearing father, 436 00:33:06,030 --> 00:33:08,089 deceased mother and brother, 437 00:33:08,166 --> 00:33:11,966 and a completely confused girl who looks a little like me. 438 00:33:49,474 --> 00:33:52,637 I sure am glad you dropped by. 439 00:33:52,710 --> 00:33:56,077 I was getting tired of being with myself. 440 00:33:58,917 --> 00:34:02,876 I guess... I'm what you call a people person. 441 00:34:05,356 --> 00:34:07,950 - What are you cooking? - Hobo chicken. 442 00:34:08,026 --> 00:34:10,517 It's a glazed chicken in wine sauce... 443 00:34:10,595 --> 00:34:13,189 with vegetables and skin-on potatoes. 444 00:34:13,264 --> 00:34:16,256 Silverware, silverware. 445 00:34:18,770 --> 00:34:21,261 It's only 210 calories. 446 00:34:21,339 --> 00:34:25,275 I don't know if you're watching your figure, but I sure am. 447 00:34:25,343 --> 00:34:29,040 If you can grab a serving spoon, I think we'll be set. 448 00:34:35,019 --> 00:34:37,044 Keep your distance from these things. 449 00:34:37,121 --> 00:34:39,646 I think it's safe to keep five feet. 450 00:34:44,295 --> 00:34:46,661 I think they're about done. 451 00:34:48,599 --> 00:34:51,762 Dining room's right this way. 452 00:34:53,571 --> 00:34:55,505 Mmm! 453 00:34:58,076 --> 00:35:02,137 I think my father poured the cement for your pool. 454 00:35:03,181 --> 00:35:06,082 He's a cement contractor. Good man. 455 00:35:07,218 --> 00:35:08,776 Bud Dodge? 456 00:35:08,853 --> 00:35:11,754 My mother works at Hoenicker's over Christmas. 457 00:35:11,823 --> 00:35:13,757 My sister's a teller at the bank. 458 00:35:13,825 --> 00:35:16,259 My brother's in grade school. He's not employed. 459 00:35:16,327 --> 00:35:19,091 I used to work at the animal shelter, 460 00:35:19,163 --> 00:35:23,099 but I was terminated. Now I'm working here. 461 00:35:25,003 --> 00:35:26,630 Do you always talk this much? 462 00:35:29,474 --> 00:35:31,533 I guess I do. 463 00:35:31,609 --> 00:35:34,635 I like talking to people. 464 00:35:35,913 --> 00:35:39,542 - Maybe you should go into sales. - I've actually tried that. 465 00:35:46,524 --> 00:35:49,357 Some fresh ground pepper? 466 00:35:49,427 --> 00:35:50,894 Please. 467 00:35:53,331 --> 00:35:55,799 Some people don't like a lot of pepper. Say when. 468 00:35:55,867 --> 00:35:57,858 That's fine. 469 00:35:57,935 --> 00:35:59,869 I happen to really like it a lot. 470 00:35:59,937 --> 00:36:03,395 It enhances the natural flavor of the chicken. 471 00:36:07,045 --> 00:36:10,606 I hope you don't take this the wrong way. 472 00:36:10,681 --> 00:36:12,450 I've had dreams about you. 473 00:36:12,584 --> 00:36:15,144 You've had dreams about me? 474 00:36:16,588 --> 00:36:17,782 Not recently. 475 00:36:17,855 --> 00:36:20,016 I've had dreams about you in the past. 476 00:36:20,091 --> 00:36:22,958 I've had dreams about entire cheerleading squads, 477 00:36:23,027 --> 00:36:25,154 so don't get me wrong. 478 00:36:25,230 --> 00:36:28,393 - It's kid stuff. How 'bout you? - Do I dream? 479 00:36:30,568 --> 00:36:32,900 That's about all I do. 480 00:36:46,517 --> 00:36:50,419 [Roger] Raisin' a kid's hard work. You got any kids? 481 00:36:50,488 --> 00:36:52,547 No, sir. And from listening to you, 482 00:36:52,624 --> 00:36:55,058 and from observin' this, 483 00:36:55,126 --> 00:36:58,152 I'm kinda grateful Emily turned up infertile. 484 00:37:15,747 --> 00:37:18,580 Shouldn't you be cleaning up the store? 485 00:37:18,650 --> 00:37:20,584 I got plenty of time. 486 00:37:20,652 --> 00:37:24,053 - Big store. - Huge. 487 00:37:25,123 --> 00:37:26,522 Always smoke cigars? 488 00:37:28,126 --> 00:37:30,287 I enjoy a good one after a fine meal. 489 00:37:30,361 --> 00:37:32,295 It settles the stomach. 490 00:37:33,831 --> 00:37:35,321 You're the town liar, right? 491 00:37:40,138 --> 00:37:42,072 - What? - I'm sorry. 492 00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:43,732 That really came out wrong. 493 00:37:45,476 --> 00:37:48,809 - How could it come out right? - That's what people call you. 494 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,041 - I didn't mean to imply it's true. - People call me that? 495 00:37:51,115 --> 00:37:54,243 - I thought you knew. - That I was the town liar? 496 00:37:54,319 --> 00:37:56,685 - You didn't? - No. I'm not. 497 00:37:56,754 --> 00:37:59,655 - You have the wrong information. - I didn't mean to offend you. 498 00:38:00,625 --> 00:38:05,062 - Did you think that was a compliment? - No. And I apologize. 499 00:38:05,129 --> 00:38:09,031 - I can't repeat things like that. - Don't think about it. 500 00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:12,228 As I said, you've got the wrong information. 501 00:38:12,303 --> 00:38:14,464 If people are calling me that, 502 00:38:14,539 --> 00:38:16,666 it's because they're small, petty and jealous. 503 00:38:16,741 --> 00:38:19,642 Small towns are notorious for that. 504 00:38:19,711 --> 00:38:21,872 - I'm sure there's a word for me. - Sure. 505 00:38:21,946 --> 00:38:24,540 - What do they call me? - A tease. 506 00:38:24,615 --> 00:38:26,845 Tease? 507 00:38:26,918 --> 00:38:30,217 Yeah, I can see that. 508 00:38:31,456 --> 00:38:34,186 Actually, I never teased. 509 00:38:34,258 --> 00:38:36,522 This is becoming amusing, 510 00:38:36,594 --> 00:38:40,360 - but who exactly calls me a liar? - Everybody. 511 00:38:40,431 --> 00:38:43,423 - Everybody. - No, not everybody. 512 00:38:43,501 --> 00:38:47,267 - There's some old people in town. - Right. 513 00:38:51,209 --> 00:38:54,542 - What do you think? - What do I think? 514 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,378 Do you think I'm a liar? 515 00:38:58,449 --> 00:39:00,440 I don't know you well enough. 516 00:39:02,553 --> 00:39:06,580 You've known me for 17 years. We went to the same schools from kindergarten on. 517 00:39:06,657 --> 00:39:09,455 I knew of you, but I didn't know you personally. 518 00:39:10,661 --> 00:39:12,754 That's always bothered me. 519 00:39:12,830 --> 00:39:16,459 I mean that old... in-out, us-them thing. 520 00:39:16,534 --> 00:39:20,095 - That's the way it's been. - It's always bothered me. 521 00:39:20,171 --> 00:39:24,699 - It's water over the dam now. - But it's your dam and my water. 522 00:39:24,776 --> 00:39:26,744 I got crapped on a lot of years. 523 00:39:26,811 --> 00:39:28,802 I meant that it's in the past. 524 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,849 The present is a result of the past. 525 00:39:31,916 --> 00:39:33,850 I look at my high school yearbook... 526 00:39:33,918 --> 00:39:37,183 and I don't see four fabulous years. 527 00:39:37,255 --> 00:39:39,416 I'm reminded of what it feels like... 528 00:39:39,490 --> 00:39:41,981 to have my underwear yanked up my ass... 529 00:39:42,059 --> 00:39:43,993 by some big football player. 530 00:39:44,061 --> 00:39:46,393 And where are those guys now? 531 00:39:48,099 --> 00:39:52,729 They're not working nights at Target. I'll tell you that. 532 00:39:52,804 --> 00:39:55,432 Yeah, You know... 533 00:39:55,506 --> 00:39:57,474 I look at my yearbook... 534 00:39:57,542 --> 00:40:00,875 and I see four fabulous years... 535 00:40:02,046 --> 00:40:03,980 that are gonna be the highlight of my life. 536 00:40:04,048 --> 00:40:05,982 Here's what it's like. 537 00:40:06,050 --> 00:40:08,575 First you feel a hand going down your pants... 538 00:40:08,653 --> 00:40:11,850 and tighten around the elastic waistband. 539 00:40:11,923 --> 00:40:12,947 Highlight. 540 00:40:13,024 --> 00:40:16,027 - Sometimes I'd actually see stars. - It's not going to get better. 541 00:40:16,027 --> 00:40:16,516 - Sometimes I'd actually see stars. - It's not going to get better. 542 00:40:16,594 --> 00:40:18,562 If I was particularly unlucky, 543 00:40:18,629 --> 00:40:23,225 my shorts would rip completely free and I'd get this really drastic... 544 00:40:23,301 --> 00:40:25,269 Do you hear me? 545 00:40:27,205 --> 00:40:28,229 Yeah. 546 00:40:31,576 --> 00:40:34,568 I don't really care about a graphic description of a childhood prank. 547 00:40:35,313 --> 00:40:37,543 That prank was a motif in my life. 548 00:40:42,186 --> 00:40:45,383 You know, I'm locked in this store here... 549 00:40:45,456 --> 00:40:48,653 because I didn't have the guts to steal a skirt... 550 00:40:48,726 --> 00:40:51,058 so I could get arrested and embarrass my father... 551 00:40:51,128 --> 00:40:54,029 in this stupid, desperate, childish, 552 00:40:54,098 --> 00:40:56,089 pathetic attempt to leave home. 553 00:40:57,635 --> 00:40:59,569 You have your underwear yanked up your ass. 554 00:40:59,637 --> 00:41:02,731 I have my entire life yanked up my ass! 555 00:41:03,808 --> 00:41:06,777 You were speaking figuratively. I was speaking literally. 556 00:41:06,844 --> 00:41:10,371 And you're happy. You're happy. 557 00:41:10,448 --> 00:41:11,745 I'm not happy. 558 00:41:11,816 --> 00:41:15,411 I'm working nights. Everybody thinks I'm a liar. 559 00:41:15,486 --> 00:41:17,818 My whole family's laughing at me. 560 00:41:17,889 --> 00:41:20,722 Reverend Harwell gave me the finger last week. 561 00:41:20,791 --> 00:41:22,952 At least you have some control over your life. 562 00:41:23,027 --> 00:41:25,461 - So do you. - My father controls my life. 563 00:41:25,530 --> 00:41:29,466 You're over 18. You can tell him to drop dead. 564 00:41:29,534 --> 00:41:32,901 - So can you. - I don't want to. 565 00:41:32,970 --> 00:41:35,598 I like living at home. 566 00:41:35,673 --> 00:41:39,234 - No, you don't. - Am I a garden snail? 567 00:41:40,745 --> 00:41:42,679 An involuntary muscle in a janitor suit? 568 00:41:42,747 --> 00:41:44,840 I know what I want to do. 569 00:41:44,916 --> 00:41:46,884 What could you possibly like... 570 00:41:46,951 --> 00:41:48,919 about living at home at your age? 571 00:41:48,986 --> 00:41:52,888 The meals are great. I mean, there's cable. 572 00:41:55,393 --> 00:41:58,226 The accommodations are excellent, five-star. 573 00:41:58,296 --> 00:42:00,230 What do you care if I'm living at home or not? 574 00:42:01,699 --> 00:42:04,293 Hey, I didn't come here to irritate you. 575 00:42:04,368 --> 00:42:06,962 Well, you're beginning to. 576 00:42:08,839 --> 00:42:11,740 Great. That's really great. 577 00:42:11,809 --> 00:42:14,845 I gotta stop saying those kinds of things. 578 00:42:14,979 --> 00:42:18,176 Those freakin' kids! I knew I couldn't trust 'em. 579 00:42:18,248 --> 00:42:21,115 Town liar. That's a nice rep. 580 00:42:21,185 --> 00:42:23,312 I bet it was Gregory, that little weasel. 581 00:42:23,387 --> 00:42:26,550 Top secret, and they still shoot off their mouths! 582 00:42:26,624 --> 00:42:28,751 If I'd really been a French spy, 583 00:42:28,826 --> 00:42:31,260 those little tots would've gotten me killed! 584 00:42:31,328 --> 00:42:34,593 Piano wire wrapped around my neck. My testicles shoved down my throat. 585 00:42:34,665 --> 00:42:37,657 A piece of dynamite stuck up my ass! 586 00:42:42,706 --> 00:42:45,140 She's so beautiful. 587 00:42:46,543 --> 00:42:48,909 And I'm the town liar. 588 00:42:52,383 --> 00:42:56,251 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 589 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,255 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 590 00:43:00,658 --> 00:43:04,492 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 591 00:43:04,561 --> 00:43:07,997 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 592 00:43:08,065 --> 00:43:12,661 # Shiny boat through the open doorway # 593 00:43:15,639 --> 00:43:20,440 # Fell in love on a summer day # 594 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:27,574 # You're only young once but that's all right # 595 00:43:30,254 --> 00:43:36,284 # Because it's just so good to be alive # 596 00:43:38,262 --> 00:43:41,663 # Take away your troubles Take them out the door # 597 00:43:41,732 --> 00:43:47,534 # Ohh, nothing on my mind except my new love # 598 00:43:50,574 --> 00:43:55,102 # Nothing on my mind except my new love # 599 00:43:57,848 --> 00:44:00,840 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la # 600 00:44:00,918 --> 00:44:05,150 # Sha-la-la-la-la La-la-la ## 601 00:44:05,222 --> 00:44:07,816 [Music Stops] 602 00:44:31,648 --> 00:44:35,607 [P.A. System] Jim, there's no reason to lie right now. 603 00:44:35,686 --> 00:44:38,621 There's no one to impress. 604 00:44:38,689 --> 00:44:42,181 I'm not impressed by a man telling me he likes living at home. 605 00:44:42,259 --> 00:44:45,626 Excuse me, I'm not lying, 606 00:44:45,696 --> 00:44:47,630 and I'm not trying to impress you. 607 00:44:47,698 --> 00:44:49,825 So if you'll excuse me, 608 00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:52,892 I have to clean dead flies out of the lighting fixtures. 609 00:44:52,970 --> 00:44:55,837 Okay, my error. I apologize. 610 00:44:55,906 --> 00:44:59,398 It's just that I can't imagine a man... 611 00:44:59,476 --> 00:45:03,469 giving up his independence, his right to mate, 612 00:45:03,547 --> 00:45:05,572 to have a family, 613 00:45:05,649 --> 00:45:10,211 to build a life for himself, for good cooking. 614 00:45:10,287 --> 00:45:11,618 Hold on. 615 00:45:11,688 --> 00:45:14,418 I have not given up my right to mate. 616 00:45:14,491 --> 00:45:16,925 I have the right to mate... 617 00:45:16,994 --> 00:45:19,963 anytime I feel like mating. 618 00:45:20,030 --> 00:45:22,021 You go out with someone. 619 00:45:22,099 --> 00:45:26,001 You bring her home. You introduce her to... 620 00:45:26,069 --> 00:45:29,766 Mom, Dad, Sis, Billy, 621 00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,398 Wolfie the dog. 622 00:45:31,475 --> 00:45:35,878 Cocktails in the rumpus room, and then do it on the bunk bed? 623 00:45:37,948 --> 00:45:40,178 Let's analyze that remark. 624 00:45:40,250 --> 00:45:41,581 I don't have a dog, 625 00:45:41,652 --> 00:45:43,916 my brother's not named Billy, 626 00:45:43,987 --> 00:45:46,455 and I don't even have a rumpus room. 627 00:45:46,523 --> 00:45:48,548 You know what I mean. 628 00:45:53,730 --> 00:45:56,927 Yeah, I know what you mean. 629 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,163 Spit on me, make me feel lousy. 630 00:46:05,275 --> 00:46:06,742 Jim? 631 00:46:08,312 --> 00:46:10,746 You said something that wasn't true. 632 00:46:11,915 --> 00:46:13,576 No. 633 00:46:13,650 --> 00:46:19,589 No, I said that I can have sex when I want to, and I do. 634 00:46:20,591 --> 00:46:22,616 However, I was looking forward... 635 00:46:22,693 --> 00:46:25,787 to a nice, quiet evening of janitoring. 636 00:46:25,863 --> 00:46:29,230 I don't think you see what I'm getting at. 637 00:46:29,299 --> 00:46:31,233 I see what you're getting at. 638 00:46:31,301 --> 00:46:34,634 I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex and an appetite for home cooking. 639 00:46:34,705 --> 00:46:36,900 Don't forget, you're the indecisive shoplifter. 640 00:46:36,974 --> 00:46:38,498 Yes! Exactly. 641 00:46:38,575 --> 00:46:41,510 I would do anything to be in your shoes. 642 00:46:41,578 --> 00:46:43,978 These are Darnell's shoes. 643 00:46:44,047 --> 00:46:47,744 You have freedom, and you're not using it. 644 00:46:47,818 --> 00:46:49,843 It makes me sad. 645 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,617 You have the wealth of the entire town, and you're trying to get arrested. 646 00:46:53,690 --> 00:46:57,683 - That makes me sad. - That makes me sad, too. 647 00:46:57,761 --> 00:47:01,026 - That's pretty stupid. - It's very stupid. 648 00:47:01,098 --> 00:47:03,032 Are you serious? 649 00:47:03,100 --> 00:47:05,500 I mean, you haven't been drinking? 650 00:47:05,569 --> 00:47:07,867 This isn't the bottle talking? 651 00:47:07,938 --> 00:47:09,997 No. 652 00:47:10,073 --> 00:47:13,338 Then why don't you just talk to the guy? 653 00:47:15,112 --> 00:47:17,979 For the same reason that you can't leave home, 654 00:47:18,048 --> 00:47:21,506 I can't tell my father to go to hell. 655 00:47:21,585 --> 00:47:23,519 Why not? 656 00:47:25,722 --> 00:47:29,453 Because I don't want to be alone. 657 00:47:56,386 --> 00:47:59,355 Mr. McClellan? 658 00:47:59,423 --> 00:48:03,621 You ever have any family problems, you and your daughter? 659 00:48:03,694 --> 00:48:07,130 What the hell do you think this is? 660 00:48:07,197 --> 00:48:09,131 You got a point. 661 00:48:14,338 --> 00:48:17,102 Would you go with me somewhere? 662 00:48:19,076 --> 00:48:21,306 - Where? - Florida? 663 00:48:21,378 --> 00:48:23,938 Wyoming? Spain? 664 00:48:24,014 --> 00:48:26,710 It doesn't really matter, just away somewhere. 665 00:48:27,684 --> 00:48:28,946 I'd love to. 666 00:48:30,020 --> 00:48:32,511 I just can't afford to be... 667 00:48:32,589 --> 00:48:35,217 capricious and carefree like yourself. 668 00:48:35,292 --> 00:48:38,819 I've gotta set my sights on something, and really go for it. 669 00:48:39,496 --> 00:48:42,693 - Night janitor? - It's a beginning. 670 00:48:42,766 --> 00:48:45,166 - I-I'm lookin' at... - It's an end. 671 00:48:48,105 --> 00:48:50,596 Maybe if you had a destination in mind, 672 00:48:50,674 --> 00:48:53,404 that would make all the difference in the world. 673 00:48:53,477 --> 00:48:56,708 - Why? - Well, uh, 674 00:48:56,780 --> 00:49:00,716 I'm just not built to aimlessly roam the world. 675 00:49:00,784 --> 00:49:03,150 I'm too conservative for that. 676 00:49:04,554 --> 00:49:08,547 Well, I was thinking about Los Angeles. 677 00:49:08,625 --> 00:49:11,719 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 678 00:49:11,795 --> 00:49:15,788 - What for? - Live, work. 679 00:49:15,866 --> 00:49:18,357 - At what? - Whatever. 680 00:49:18,435 --> 00:49:21,529 And what about your father? 681 00:49:21,605 --> 00:49:23,869 When I don't die, 682 00:49:23,940 --> 00:49:27,000 he'll realize I can make it on my own. 683 00:49:27,077 --> 00:49:30,747 If I do, he'll have the satisfaction of knowing that I can't. 684 00:49:30,881 --> 00:49:33,941 If he brings me back, or if I go back on my own, 685 00:49:34,017 --> 00:49:36,451 he's just gonna beat the shit out of me. 686 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,819 - So it doesn't make a difference. - Literally? 687 00:49:42,692 --> 00:49:44,159 Yeah. 688 00:49:45,695 --> 00:49:49,028 - Sad. - Yeah, it's sad. 689 00:49:49,099 --> 00:49:52,466 Until he throws you across the room, it's sad. 690 00:49:52,536 --> 00:49:55,630 I'm afraid to live with him, and I'm afraid to live without... 691 00:49:55,705 --> 00:50:00,039 You didn't come to work to hear this stuff. I'm really sorry. 692 00:50:00,110 --> 00:50:03,136 I'm gonna clean this up. 693 00:50:09,786 --> 00:50:11,777 I'm just surprised. 694 00:50:11,855 --> 00:50:14,653 I thought everything was okay, you know. 695 00:50:14,724 --> 00:50:17,659 I figured you got a nice car, a nice house, some money. 696 00:50:17,727 --> 00:50:21,959 - Everything's okay. - It should be, but it's not. 697 00:50:22,032 --> 00:50:24,159 It's twisted and it's distorted, 698 00:50:24,234 --> 00:50:28,136 and it can't be changed and it cannot be saved. 699 00:50:34,511 --> 00:50:35,773 I'll go with you. 700 00:50:40,584 --> 00:50:42,552 Really? 701 00:50:43,787 --> 00:50:44,754 Yeah. 702 00:50:46,523 --> 00:50:48,457 We have to get a car. 703 00:50:49,859 --> 00:50:51,793 Let's get through the night, first. 704 00:50:51,861 --> 00:50:53,988 - I have money. - How much? 705 00:50:54,064 --> 00:50:56,089 Fifty-two thousand dollars. 706 00:50:58,568 --> 00:50:59,660 On you? 707 00:51:01,738 --> 00:51:03,729 In my purse. 708 00:51:15,552 --> 00:51:19,249 Fifty-two thousand dollars. Wow. 709 00:51:19,322 --> 00:51:22,519 I've never seen so much money in my life. 710 00:51:22,592 --> 00:51:25,026 This is more than my house cost. 711 00:51:25,395 --> 00:51:29,229 Jim, now that I'm spending the night, 712 00:51:29,299 --> 00:51:31,267 how can I pay you back... 713 00:51:31,334 --> 00:51:33,734 for being so cold to you in high school? 714 00:51:36,339 --> 00:51:38,739 Do you need an answer right away? 715 00:51:38,808 --> 00:51:42,744 No. Sometime before the sun comes up. 716 00:51:46,383 --> 00:51:48,715 Well, uh, 717 00:51:48,785 --> 00:51:51,253 you're probably not going to remember this, 718 00:51:51,321 --> 00:51:53,255 but, uh, 719 00:51:53,323 --> 00:51:55,985 there was a homecoming dance our sophomore year. 720 00:51:56,059 --> 00:51:59,688 - Mm-hmm. - Do you remember Mrs. Noble? 721 00:51:59,763 --> 00:52:04,462 Large, hairy gym teacher with suspiciously cumbersome groin bulge? 722 00:52:04,534 --> 00:52:06,399 I had her for two years. 723 00:52:06,469 --> 00:52:08,403 She made everybody switch partners... 724 00:52:08,471 --> 00:52:10,598 because the fat girls were dancing together, 725 00:52:10,674 --> 00:52:12,835 and the doinks, myself included, were against the wall blowing spit bubbles. 726 00:52:12,909 --> 00:52:14,274 Right. 727 00:52:14,344 --> 00:52:17,802 Well, for three-quarters... 728 00:52:17,881 --> 00:52:20,907 of one verse of a slow song, 729 00:52:20,984 --> 00:52:23,179 we danced together. 730 00:52:24,554 --> 00:52:26,044 You reeked of Stri-Dex. 731 00:52:27,057 --> 00:52:29,389 Oh, no, that was Larry Fry. 732 00:52:29,459 --> 00:52:31,825 I'm sorry. 733 00:52:31,895 --> 00:52:34,022 I don't remember. 734 00:52:35,632 --> 00:52:39,363 - You got your hair caught in my braces. - I don't remember. 735 00:52:39,436 --> 00:52:42,564 Well, it's not important. 736 00:52:44,240 --> 00:52:47,971 I had... Well, I had just always... 737 00:52:48,044 --> 00:52:50,638 dreamed of finishing that dance. 738 00:52:53,516 --> 00:52:54,608 Okay. 739 00:52:57,954 --> 00:53:00,548 Don't feel you have to answer right away. 740 00:53:00,623 --> 00:53:04,616 It's just a small portion of my life that's incomplete. 741 00:53:04,694 --> 00:53:07,288 I thought you were gonna say something different. 742 00:53:13,603 --> 00:53:15,537 Well, 743 00:53:16,639 --> 00:53:18,869 first things first. 744 00:53:34,924 --> 00:53:38,189 # When things go wrong # 745 00:53:39,963 --> 00:53:42,955 # As they sometimes will # 746 00:53:43,032 --> 00:53:48,664 # When the road you're trodding seems all uphill # 747 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:55,136 # When the funds are low # 748 00:53:56,212 --> 00:53:59,079 # And the debts are high # 749 00:53:59,149 --> 00:54:05,315 # And you wanna smile but you have to sigh # 750 00:54:07,957 --> 00:54:14,863 # When care is pressing you down a bit # 751 00:54:14,931 --> 00:54:20,767 # Rest if you must # 752 00:54:21,805 --> 00:54:24,831 # But don't you quit # 753 00:54:26,409 --> 00:54:29,640 # Oh no # 754 00:54:29,712 --> 00:54:33,409 # Don't you quit # 755 00:54:34,684 --> 00:54:37,380 # Oh no # 756 00:54:52,268 --> 00:54:56,102 # But you never can tell # 757 00:54:56,172 --> 00:55:00,472 # How close you are # 758 00:55:00,543 --> 00:55:06,914 # It may be near when it seems so far # 759 00:55:06,983 --> 00:55:08,951 # Ooo ooo ## 760 00:55:16,326 --> 00:55:19,352 [Giggling] 761 00:55:21,798 --> 00:55:24,426 - [Laughing] - You're ticklish there? 762 00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:26,968 [Laughing] 763 00:55:44,387 --> 00:55:46,150 Aaah! 764 00:55:48,858 --> 00:55:50,723 Ow. 765 00:55:57,901 --> 00:56:00,301 [Squeaking] 766 00:56:21,824 --> 00:56:23,758 Officer Don! 767 00:56:23,826 --> 00:56:28,786 You scared the crap out of me. I thought it was the custodian. 768 00:56:28,865 --> 00:56:30,730 What are you doing? 769 00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,203 I work here now. 770 00:56:35,138 --> 00:56:36,605 [Squeaking] 771 00:56:37,908 --> 00:56:39,375 You wanna let me in? 772 00:56:39,443 --> 00:56:43,379 I'd love to. I don't have the keys. 773 00:56:43,447 --> 00:56:45,381 I'm locked in 'til 7 a.m. 774 00:56:45,449 --> 00:56:49,510 - What's going on? - Have you seen Josie McClellan? 775 00:56:50,754 --> 00:56:52,119 Of course. 776 00:56:52,189 --> 00:56:57,388 Uh, dark hair, green eyes, beautiful. 777 00:56:57,461 --> 00:56:58,860 Oh, yeah. Of course. 778 00:56:58,929 --> 00:57:02,421 - You seen her recently? - Oh! 779 00:57:02,499 --> 00:57:05,434 Ah... I just saw her yesterday. 780 00:57:05,502 --> 00:57:07,766 We had a cup of java together. 781 00:57:07,838 --> 00:57:09,430 She come into the store? 782 00:57:09,506 --> 00:57:12,498 I don't know. I only work nights. 783 00:57:12,576 --> 00:57:16,637 - Why? - Well... she's missing. 784 00:57:16,713 --> 00:57:21,207 I was looking this side of town for her and I come past. 785 00:57:21,284 --> 00:57:24,082 I seen that the outside sign's on. 786 00:57:24,154 --> 00:57:28,454 - The outside sign's never on. - Oh, yeah. 787 00:57:28,525 --> 00:57:32,962 Did you try the library? Maybe she fell asleep reading. 788 00:57:34,331 --> 00:57:35,389 No. 789 00:57:35,465 --> 00:57:37,433 She's probably screwing somebody... 790 00:57:37,501 --> 00:57:39,969 the old man don't approve of. 791 00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:50,908 Would you know if the custodian comes by to check up on people? 792 00:57:50,981 --> 00:57:54,075 I wouldn't think he'd do that, Jimmy. 793 00:57:54,151 --> 00:57:56,312 I feel pretty good now. 794 00:58:05,796 --> 00:58:07,787 I'm sorry, sir. 795 00:58:07,864 --> 00:58:10,628 I had to practice a little therapy. 796 00:58:10,700 --> 00:58:12,930 Boy's in his own world. 797 00:58:20,010 --> 00:58:21,204 # Can't believe you've left me # 798 00:58:21,278 --> 00:58:23,075 # So know that you've upset me # 799 00:58:23,146 --> 00:58:24,909 # You just want to forget me # 800 00:58:24,981 --> 00:58:26,744 # Why don't you come and get me # 801 00:58:26,817 --> 00:58:28,580 # And, boy I really miss you # 802 00:58:28,652 --> 00:58:30,415 # And all I wanna do is kiss you # 803 00:58:30,487 --> 00:58:32,182 # I've used up all my tissues # 804 00:58:32,255 --> 00:58:34,052 # 'Cause it's more serious some issues # 805 00:58:34,124 --> 00:58:35,989 # I don't even know the reason # 806 00:58:36,059 --> 00:58:37,651 # You were playin' and you were teasin' # 807 00:58:37,727 --> 00:58:39,490 # Didn't tell me you were leavin' # 808 00:58:39,563 --> 00:58:41,827 # Those good looks are deceivin' # 809 00:58:41,898 --> 00:58:45,390 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun # 810 00:58:45,469 --> 00:58:47,232 # You drive me crazy # 811 00:58:47,304 --> 00:58:49,431 # Somebody tell me where he's gone # 812 00:58:49,506 --> 00:58:52,907 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun # 813 00:58:52,976 --> 00:58:55,877 # You drive me crazy # 814 00:58:55,946 --> 00:58:57,675 # You peep in through the window # 815 00:58:57,747 --> 00:58:59,681 # This is too much for me to handle # 816 00:58:59,749 --> 00:59:03,150 # Already caused a scandal a disturbance like a vandal # 817 00:59:03,220 --> 00:59:05,085 # I've lost track of all time # 818 00:59:05,155 --> 00:59:07,248 # 'Cause you're always on my mind # 819 00:59:07,324 --> 00:59:09,656 # You're just that type of guy that'll make me cry # 820 00:59:09,726 --> 00:59:12,217 # Oh why, oh why, oh why Oh why has he disappeared # 821 00:59:12,295 --> 00:59:13,956 # This feeling is really weird # 822 00:59:14,030 --> 00:59:18,467 # You're reckless and you're dear Can you feel when I drop these tears # 823 00:59:18,535 --> 00:59:21,470 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun # 824 00:59:21,538 --> 00:59:23,904 # You drive me crazy # 825 00:59:23,974 --> 00:59:25,771 # Somebody tell me where he's gone # 826 00:59:25,842 --> 00:59:29,141 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun # 827 00:59:29,212 --> 00:59:31,544 # You drive me crazy # 828 00:59:54,871 --> 00:59:58,671 # Where are you, baby We used to have so much fun ## 829 01:00:04,314 --> 01:00:06,282 Aaah! 830 01:00:45,355 --> 01:00:47,482 Why don't we get underneath the bench? 831 01:00:50,794 --> 01:00:53,388 Do you want to get on top? 832 01:01:00,604 --> 01:01:02,469 You check the office. I'll scope the dressing rooms. 833 01:01:02,539 --> 01:01:04,166 Right. 834 01:01:12,782 --> 01:01:15,444 You're on top. 835 01:01:16,553 --> 01:01:19,078 - Did you want to be on top? - Oh, no. 836 01:01:19,155 --> 01:01:21,851 I'm fine where I am. 837 01:01:21,925 --> 01:01:23,859 Sure. 838 01:01:56,860 --> 01:01:59,920 [Whispering] Ow, ow, ow. 839 01:02:02,165 --> 01:02:05,532 I think he went to the back. 840 01:02:16,179 --> 01:02:18,170 - [Gasp] - Evening. 841 01:02:21,985 --> 01:02:23,976 Nice. 842 01:02:24,054 --> 01:02:25,988 Excellent. 843 01:02:26,056 --> 01:02:30,459 Hey, you got a tattoo? 844 01:02:31,494 --> 01:02:32,518 No, sir. 845 01:02:32,595 --> 01:02:36,087 - Not you, asshole! - I'm a missing person. 846 01:02:36,166 --> 01:02:38,794 The whole town is looking for me. 847 01:02:38,868 --> 01:02:41,359 - You hidin' out? - Yes. 848 01:02:41,438 --> 01:02:44,498 I'd appreciate it if you'd let us sit up. 849 01:02:44,574 --> 01:02:48,601 - What about the tattoo? - I don't have one. 850 01:02:48,678 --> 01:02:51,875 - You owe me a buck. - Actually, it's up to two. 851 01:02:51,948 --> 01:02:54,473 I borrowed that one off you at Burger King. 852 01:02:54,551 --> 01:02:56,746 Excuse me! 853 01:02:57,887 --> 01:03:00,048 Are you planning to shoot us in the back of the head? 854 01:03:00,123 --> 01:03:03,786 We haven't decided yet, have we? 855 01:03:03,860 --> 01:03:05,953 Who are you? 856 01:03:06,029 --> 01:03:09,021 Ah... you don't want to know. 857 01:03:09,099 --> 01:03:11,465 Wouldn't have asked if he didn't want to know! 858 01:03:11,534 --> 01:03:15,265 - He's a little crazy. He's my brother. - That's not true. 859 01:03:15,338 --> 01:03:17,431 She doesn't even know me. 860 01:03:17,507 --> 01:03:20,601 - Somebody better start talking straight here. - That's the truth. 861 01:03:20,677 --> 01:03:22,736 Okay. 862 01:03:23,646 --> 01:03:25,705 You want to know? 863 01:03:27,283 --> 01:03:28,250 Mm-hmm. 864 01:03:28,318 --> 01:03:31,219 Okay, good. But... 865 01:03:32,655 --> 01:03:33,781 come on over here. 866 01:03:35,191 --> 01:03:37,960 - What? - Come on over. 867 01:03:38,094 --> 01:03:39,561 Come on over here! 868 01:03:39,628 --> 01:03:41,596 Over here. 869 01:03:58,047 --> 01:03:59,981 Come on down here. 870 01:04:02,752 --> 01:04:04,686 That's right. Down here! 871 01:04:07,323 --> 01:04:09,120 Okay. 872 01:04:10,192 --> 01:04:13,355 You dumb sons of bitches! 873 01:04:13,429 --> 01:04:16,626 Do you realize that you have just walked... 874 01:04:16,699 --> 01:04:20,157 straight into a $60-million drug transaction? 875 01:04:23,172 --> 01:04:27,609 You're running this multi-zillion-dollar drug transaction by yourself? 876 01:04:27,676 --> 01:04:31,840 - Little Target boy? - No. 877 01:04:31,914 --> 01:04:34,382 No, I'm not doing it by myself. 878 01:04:34,450 --> 01:04:36,509 Oh, no, no. 879 01:04:36,585 --> 01:04:39,520 As a matter of fact, 880 01:04:39,588 --> 01:04:42,022 in about 10 minutes... 881 01:04:42,091 --> 01:04:44,787 this place is gonna be alive with the meanest, 882 01:04:44,860 --> 01:04:49,229 ugliest, most impatient animals you guys have ever seen. 883 01:04:49,298 --> 01:04:52,631 I'll give you five minutes to take... 884 01:04:52,701 --> 01:04:54,931 whatever you want in the whole store. 885 01:04:55,004 --> 01:04:57,404 I won't tell. Take your guns and go. 886 01:04:58,774 --> 01:05:00,139 Okay, then, who's the girl? 887 01:05:02,478 --> 01:05:06,107 - I'm his hostage. - Yes. Yes. Yes. 888 01:05:06,182 --> 01:05:09,174 Is that true? Hmm? 889 01:05:09,251 --> 01:05:12,118 Yes! Yes, it's true. 890 01:05:12,188 --> 01:05:14,179 And, um... 891 01:05:17,059 --> 01:05:21,155 if the deal doesn't go down, she becomes pig feed. 892 01:05:21,230 --> 01:05:22,356 Bullshit. 893 01:05:22,431 --> 01:05:24,592 Oh, really? 894 01:05:27,403 --> 01:05:30,531 - Well, blow her away. - That's bullshit! 895 01:05:32,041 --> 01:05:34,532 Okay. 896 01:05:34,610 --> 01:05:38,637 Then give me your guns and I'll do it for you. 897 01:05:38,714 --> 01:05:40,443 It's bullshit, right? 898 01:05:41,350 --> 01:05:43,375 We'll see. 899 01:05:46,155 --> 01:05:47,247 Roll over. 900 01:05:47,323 --> 01:05:49,257 - You heard him. - What? 901 01:05:49,325 --> 01:05:51,384 Roll over! You too, honey. 902 01:05:51,460 --> 01:05:53,758 You heard me. Roll over. Do it! 903 01:05:53,829 --> 01:05:56,662 Come on, come on! Roll! That's it. 904 01:05:56,732 --> 01:06:00,259 - Very good. - Mmm! Yeah. 905 01:06:00,336 --> 01:06:03,737 Um... give me the guns! 906 01:06:04,707 --> 01:06:06,971 No way, man. Uh-uh. 907 01:06:07,042 --> 01:06:08,270 Fine. 908 01:06:08,344 --> 01:06:12,246 You do it. I don't need her anymore. 909 01:06:12,314 --> 01:06:15,249 - I only needed her to get through customs. - I don't like this. 910 01:06:15,317 --> 01:06:17,342 This sucks. It's not worth it. 911 01:06:17,419 --> 01:06:21,412 - We don't have time. Do it! - All right. 912 01:06:23,893 --> 01:06:25,656 It's nothing personal. 913 01:06:25,794 --> 01:06:28,388 - Jim! - Too late. They're here! 914 01:06:28,464 --> 01:06:30,557 It's too late. They're here. 915 01:06:30,633 --> 01:06:33,966 - Men, hold your fire. - [Radio Chatter] 916 01:06:34,036 --> 01:06:37,472 Ned, Tommy, hold your fire. 917 01:06:37,539 --> 01:06:40,702 There are infrared scopes trained on your heads. 918 01:06:40,776 --> 01:06:44,803 - We didn't want this! - It's the girl you want, not us! 919 01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:47,906 Ned, we got a WD-40. That's right, a full-scale PMS. 920 01:06:47,983 --> 01:06:50,417 Okay, everybody just relax! 921 01:06:50,486 --> 01:06:53,922 Everybody, just relax! The place is gonna blow. 922 01:06:53,989 --> 01:06:57,220 Just relax. Now, put down your guns. 923 01:06:57,293 --> 01:07:00,421 They're putting down the guns. Are you putting them down? 924 01:07:00,496 --> 01:07:03,329 Get down 'cause lives are at stake. 925 01:07:03,399 --> 01:07:06,766 Let go. Now get back. 926 01:07:06,835 --> 01:07:10,236 Get back. Spread 'em. Spread the legs. Put down the dogs. 927 01:07:10,306 --> 01:07:12,536 Okay, put the dogs down. 928 01:07:12,608 --> 01:07:14,200 Both of 'em! 929 01:07:14,276 --> 01:07:16,767 Put the dogs down! Down! 930 01:07:16,845 --> 01:07:20,941 - That was great! - I got a surprise for you guys. 931 01:07:21,016 --> 01:07:24,281 [Gil] We have a bit of a surprise for you. 932 01:07:25,688 --> 01:07:26,985 Them guns aren't loaded. 933 01:07:37,967 --> 01:07:41,562 I got an idea. How about a truce? 934 01:07:41,637 --> 01:07:44,606 I'm full of shit. You're full of shit. 935 01:07:44,673 --> 01:07:47,107 Everybody at one time is full of shit. 936 01:07:47,176 --> 01:07:50,771 I'll throw on some corn dogs and we'll get to know each other. 937 01:07:50,846 --> 01:07:53,508 I'd like to know what goes on inside your heads. 938 01:07:53,582 --> 01:07:56,415 - Okay, you had the big one... - No. 939 01:07:56,485 --> 01:08:00,319 Sorry. I could've sworn you had the big one. 940 01:08:00,389 --> 01:08:01,879 Ha! 941 01:08:02,825 --> 01:08:04,816 I lied. 942 01:08:09,331 --> 01:08:12,596 These are the men that killed that guy in Saltburg. 943 01:08:12,668 --> 01:08:16,104 I'm fairly sure that we're gonna die. 944 01:08:16,171 --> 01:08:19,106 I'm disappointed we're not going to California together. 945 01:08:19,174 --> 01:08:22,041 We're not dead yet. 946 01:08:22,111 --> 01:08:24,909 Pretty darn close. 947 01:08:24,980 --> 01:08:27,608 If I can get them to take me with them, 948 01:08:27,683 --> 01:08:30,550 maybe I can get away and come back for you. 949 01:08:30,619 --> 01:08:34,077 We need a car and they obviously have one. 950 01:08:34,156 --> 01:08:36,056 Just... 951 01:08:36,125 --> 01:08:38,593 - go along with whatever I do. - Okay. 952 01:08:50,739 --> 01:08:52,969 So, what's the word on you two? 953 01:08:53,042 --> 01:08:56,773 Are you married? Obviously... 954 01:08:56,845 --> 01:08:59,905 you're hack crooks if you can't pull off a discount store job. 955 01:09:02,317 --> 01:09:04,877 What were you planning to steal? Hair spray? 956 01:09:04,953 --> 01:09:07,080 [Chuckle] 957 01:09:09,224 --> 01:09:10,213 Sorry. 958 01:09:14,430 --> 01:09:15,727 Lady, you got a job? 959 01:09:17,332 --> 01:09:18,993 No. 960 01:09:19,068 --> 01:09:20,899 Then don't knock ours. 961 01:09:21,770 --> 01:09:24,830 Crime isn't a job. It's a sickness. 962 01:09:28,744 --> 01:09:32,510 Whoops. Anyone have some change? 963 01:09:34,216 --> 01:09:36,707 [Coins Spilling] 964 01:09:43,959 --> 01:09:46,792 You look like a lady in need of a quarter. 965 01:09:46,862 --> 01:09:49,456 I might need more than just a quarter. 966 01:09:52,401 --> 01:09:54,835 - You know... - No. 967 01:09:54,903 --> 01:09:56,894 You and I could make a lot of money. 968 01:09:56,972 --> 01:09:59,736 Honey, me and Nestor are partners. 969 01:09:59,808 --> 01:10:04,006 - We don't need a third. - You don't know, so shut up. 970 01:10:07,983 --> 01:10:10,349 Hop on. 971 01:10:26,268 --> 01:10:30,068 Now. Let's go now. 972 01:10:31,907 --> 01:10:33,397 [Nestor] Know what you are? 973 01:10:33,475 --> 01:10:34,908 Yeah. 974 01:10:34,977 --> 01:10:37,571 You are one good-looking ball of trouble. 975 01:10:39,982 --> 01:10:41,176 Good. 976 01:10:52,695 --> 01:10:56,324 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 977 01:10:57,900 --> 01:11:02,132 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 978 01:11:05,841 --> 01:11:07,900 # Go # 979 01:11:18,554 --> 01:11:20,613 What do you think, for the car? 980 01:11:20,689 --> 01:11:24,455 - This one? - The whole thing. We'll lay it in back. 981 01:11:24,526 --> 01:11:26,926 We got multi-cassette capabilities. 982 01:11:26,995 --> 01:11:28,792 Think of the sound! 983 01:11:28,864 --> 01:11:32,231 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 984 01:11:34,036 --> 01:11:38,029 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 985 01:11:39,575 --> 01:11:43,477 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 986 01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:49,242 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 987 01:11:50,686 --> 01:11:54,383 # Ya-ya-ya-ya Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya # 988 01:11:55,591 --> 01:11:59,118 [Jim] I'm not helping you load your car. 989 01:11:59,194 --> 01:12:00,627 Think again, boy. 990 01:12:00,696 --> 01:12:03,688 You're not taking the stolen merchandise out. 991 01:12:03,766 --> 01:12:06,030 - I'm not gonna let you. - Get out. 992 01:12:06,101 --> 01:12:08,194 It's stolen. All of it! 993 01:12:08,270 --> 01:12:10,204 - Gimme that! - No! 994 01:12:10,272 --> 01:12:12,604 - Give it to me! - It's mine! 995 01:12:16,745 --> 01:12:18,770 But where... 996 01:12:18,847 --> 01:12:21,315 Wait a minute. 997 01:12:23,085 --> 01:12:26,680 - You're not going with them? - Yeah. 998 01:12:26,755 --> 01:12:29,952 You'll be an accessory. 999 01:12:30,025 --> 01:12:33,927 - So? - You don't know anything about them. 1000 01:12:33,996 --> 01:12:36,294 You certainly don't know anything about him! 1001 01:12:36,365 --> 01:12:38,833 These are hardened criminals here! 1002 01:12:38,901 --> 01:12:41,301 That's enough! 1003 01:12:42,504 --> 01:12:45,234 Don't waste your time. You could get a hernia. 1004 01:12:45,307 --> 01:12:47,901 If my foot could talk, 1005 01:12:47,976 --> 01:12:51,139 it'd say, "May I please go up this geek's ass?" 1006 01:12:51,213 --> 01:12:53,443 - Forget him! - All right. 1007 01:12:53,515 --> 01:12:56,678 He's no use to us. He's built like an oyster. 1008 01:12:56,752 --> 01:12:58,151 Listen. 1009 01:13:00,522 --> 01:13:02,752 If you tell on us, 1010 01:13:02,825 --> 01:13:04,918 I'll kill you. 1011 01:13:09,598 --> 01:13:11,532 Fine. 1012 01:13:15,938 --> 01:13:18,338 Jim? 1013 01:13:26,648 --> 01:13:28,240 Don't be an ass. 1014 01:13:30,919 --> 01:13:32,853 Okay, Jimbo? 1015 01:13:35,657 --> 01:13:37,682 Let's go, shall we? 1016 01:13:58,714 --> 01:14:00,705 [Door Closes] 1017 01:14:04,653 --> 01:14:07,121 [Gil] Ahem. 1018 01:14:07,189 --> 01:14:08,713 C'mon, come on! 1019 01:14:23,438 --> 01:14:26,305 [Grunting] 1020 01:14:26,375 --> 01:14:28,309 You got it? 1021 01:14:28,377 --> 01:14:30,470 I got 'em, I got 'em. 1022 01:14:37,853 --> 01:14:39,445 [Gunshots] 1023 01:15:53,161 --> 01:15:55,925 [Jim Over P.A. System] That wasn't a store robbery. 1024 01:15:55,998 --> 01:15:58,228 That was an assassination. 1025 01:15:58,300 --> 01:16:01,098 That wasn't a clerk. That was a wise guy. 1026 01:16:01,169 --> 01:16:04,570 How do I know? I spent a little time... 1027 01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:06,699 with the FBI's organized crime unit. 1028 01:16:06,775 --> 01:16:09,539 I'm intimately knowledgeable with the seedy... 1029 01:16:09,611 --> 01:16:12,273 workings of the Mob in the midwest section of this country. 1030 01:16:13,315 --> 01:16:15,715 I know a gangland slaying when I see one, 1031 01:16:15,784 --> 01:16:19,584 and that's exactly what this baby is. 1032 01:16:19,655 --> 01:16:22,283 I'd look into it myself personally, 1033 01:16:22,357 --> 01:16:24,723 but I got a date tonight. 1034 01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:34,230 Attention, Target shoppers. 1035 01:16:38,874 --> 01:16:43,038 [Shotgun Blasts] 1036 01:17:21,950 --> 01:17:24,248 Jim? 1037 01:18:18,340 --> 01:18:20,774 He is so cool! 1038 01:19:03,651 --> 01:19:06,745 # Got my ray-bans on every day and night # 1039 01:19:06,820 --> 01:19:10,187 # Got a one-track mind that I wanna hide # 1040 01:19:10,257 --> 01:19:13,556 # Got an easy job that I try to keep # 1041 01:19:13,627 --> 01:19:16,960 # Got a bunch of girls and I got 'em cheap # 1042 01:19:17,031 --> 01:19:20,398 # Got a million things that I wanna do # 1043 01:19:20,467 --> 01:19:24,494 # But I waste my time hangin' out with you # 1044 01:19:24,572 --> 01:19:28,008 # It's not because I'm really easy to please # 1045 01:19:28,075 --> 01:19:31,374 # It's not the way you bring me down on my knees # 1046 01:19:31,445 --> 01:19:34,414 # It's just a feeling but it keeps coming back # 1047 01:19:34,481 --> 01:19:36,813 # It's a tiny little heart attack # 1048 01:19:41,222 --> 01:19:44,248 # Got a big guitar lookin' dynamite # 1049 01:19:44,325 --> 01:19:47,556 # Got a Thunderbird that I drive all night # 1050 01:19:47,628 --> 01:19:51,155 # Got a shoeshine boy working overtime # 1051 01:19:51,232 --> 01:19:54,326 # Gotta grow up soon but I never mind # 1052 01:19:54,401 --> 01:19:57,802 # Got a big fat guy takin' all the blame # 1053 01:19:57,871 --> 01:20:01,932 # For the chairs I break when you call my name # 1054 01:20:02,009 --> 01:20:05,410 # It's not because I'm really easy to please # 1055 01:20:05,479 --> 01:20:08,778 # It's not the way you bring me down on my knees # 1056 01:20:08,849 --> 01:20:11,579 # It's just a feeling but it keeps coming back # 1057 01:20:11,652 --> 01:20:14,746 # It's a tiny little heart attack # 1058 01:20:14,822 --> 01:20:18,223 # Just a tiny little heart attack # 1059 01:20:49,323 --> 01:20:52,383 # Got a snakeskin suit that I really like # 1060 01:20:52,459 --> 01:20:55,724 # Lookin' like the devil on a Friday night # 1061 01:20:55,796 --> 01:20:59,129 # Got a shark outside in the swimming pool # 1062 01:20:59,199 --> 01:21:02,566 # But there won't be trouble if you're stayin' cool # 1063 01:21:02,636 --> 01:21:05,969 # Got my mind made up that I'm leavin' you # 1064 01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:10,204 # But it won't be easy No, it won't be true # 1065 01:21:40,274 --> 01:21:43,573 # Got a snakeskin suit that I really like # 1066 01:21:43,644 --> 01:21:46,772 # Lookin' like the devil on a Friday night # 1067 01:21:46,847 --> 01:21:50,374 # Got a shark outside in the swimming pool # 1068 01:21:50,451 --> 01:21:53,716 # But there won't be trouble if you're stayin' cool # 1069 01:21:53,787 --> 01:21:57,086 # Got my mind made up that I'm leavin' you # 1070 01:21:57,157 --> 01:22:01,287 # But it won't be easy No, it won't be true # 1071 01:22:01,362 --> 01:22:04,661 # I'll never make it through a Saturday night # 1072 01:22:04,732 --> 01:22:08,065 # I'll never make another move in the lights # 1073 01:22:08,135 --> 01:22:10,865 # 'Cause if I see you and you're lookin' like that # 1074 01:22:10,938 --> 01:22:14,897 # I'll get a tiny little heart attack # 1075 01:22:14,975 --> 01:22:18,376 # It's not because I'm really easy to please # 1076 01:22:18,445 --> 01:22:21,710 # It's not the way you bring me down on my knees # 1077 01:22:21,782 --> 01:22:24,546 # It's just a feeling but it keeps coming back # 1078 01:22:24,618 --> 01:22:27,746 # It's a tiny little heart attack # 1079 01:22:27,821 --> 01:22:31,154 # Give me a tiny little heart attack # 1080 01:22:31,225 --> 01:22:34,194 # Give me a tiny little heart attack # 1081 01:22:34,261 --> 01:22:37,958 # I want a tiny little heart attack # 1082 01:22:38,031 --> 01:22:41,159 # Give me a tiny little heart attack # 1083 01:22:41,235 --> 01:22:45,569 # I want a tiny little heart attack ## 80258

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