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1
00:00:53,404 --> 00:00:56,464
That wasn't a store robbery.
2
00:00:56,541 --> 00:00:58,532
That was an assassination.
3
00:00:58,610 --> 00:01:01,704
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
4
00:01:01,779 --> 00:01:04,873
How do I know?
5
00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:08,612
I spent a little time with
the FBI's organized crime unit.
6
00:01:08,686 --> 00:01:10,847
You could say that
I'm intimately knowledgeable...
7
00:01:10,922 --> 00:01:13,322
with the rancorous
workings of the Mob...
8
00:01:13,391 --> 00:01:15,825
in the midwest section
of this country.
9
00:01:15,894 --> 00:01:19,489
I know gangland slayings,
and that's exactly what this is.
10
00:01:19,564 --> 00:01:22,931
I'd look into it personally,
but I got a date tonight.
11
00:01:24,068 --> 00:01:27,265
Think I'll take the private jet
and fly to Spain,
12
00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:29,238
pick up the little lady,
13
00:01:29,307 --> 00:01:31,798
do the subsonic tummy bump
at 30,000 feet...
14
00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:35,039
then glide back into
the U.S. Of A. By dawn.
15
00:01:35,113 --> 00:01:39,516
I know what you're gonna say:
"Jim Dodge, settle down.
16
00:01:39,584 --> 00:01:41,711
Relax.
You owe it to yourself."
17
00:01:41,786 --> 00:01:44,550
I'll tell you what I tell everybody.
18
00:01:44,622 --> 00:01:47,682
Any little fraulein that
expects anything more from me...
19
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,784
than a little bit
of pleasure, danger...
20
00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:51,920
and a great set of pectorals,
21
00:01:51,996 --> 00:01:54,590
she's looking for
a fall right on her ass.
22
00:01:56,734 --> 00:01:58,725
[Barking]
23
00:01:58,803 --> 00:02:01,772
- Hubie, Hubie!
- Let me tell you something.
24
00:02:01,839 --> 00:02:05,240
If you know what's good for you,
don't you ever come back!
25
00:02:06,177 --> 00:02:08,611
You're not gonna find someone
who has the relationship...
26
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,547
with those animals that I do.
27
00:02:11,616 --> 00:02:14,517
Listen to the dogs.
They love me!
28
00:02:15,954 --> 00:02:19,014
It all started
when I was 15.
29
00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:22,423
That's when I invented
the artificial cow heart.
30
00:02:22,493 --> 00:02:25,326
Oh, that was a big thing.
31
00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:28,297
A little before your time,
but it made the newspapers.
32
00:02:28,366 --> 00:02:31,392
ABC, NBC, CBS,
they picked up on it.
33
00:02:31,469 --> 00:02:34,199
But it's more or less
a hobby for me, boys.
34
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,374
[Boy] Scoot over!
35
00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:42,145
Actually, today I decided...
36
00:02:42,213 --> 00:02:47,173
I've gone about as far as I can go
in the animal health-care business.
37
00:02:47,252 --> 00:02:51,245
The reason that I'm not
at work this afternoon...
38
00:02:51,322 --> 00:02:54,951
is because I was made an offer
I cannot refuse. I sold.
39
00:02:55,026 --> 00:02:56,926
Whatcha gonna do
with the cash?
40
00:02:56,995 --> 00:03:00,192
Invest it overseas,
projects in Eastern Europe.
41
00:03:00,265 --> 00:03:02,665
I don't know.
I've got everything.
42
00:03:02,734 --> 00:03:05,828
Jim, you just bought
the animal hospital.
43
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:08,371
How come you
sold it so fast?
44
00:03:09,974 --> 00:03:11,908
Tax problem.
45
00:03:11,976 --> 00:03:14,240
And here's my
accountant right now.
46
00:03:14,312 --> 00:03:17,338
Earl, take a bow.
Ha-ha-ha!
47
00:03:17,415 --> 00:03:20,384
20 minutes for lunch.
Go buy another suit.
48
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,510
He works for me.
49
00:03:22,587 --> 00:03:25,420
He's scouting some
real estate for me,
50
00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:27,617
but the market's
real tight.
51
00:03:30,695 --> 00:03:32,822
I like the new
uniform, Lorraine.
52
00:03:34,966 --> 00:03:37,196
With the right
shoes and handbag,
53
00:03:37,268 --> 00:03:39,702
that might be suitable
for a cocktail party.
54
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:42,501
So... question.
55
00:03:42,573 --> 00:03:45,599
When in the world are you going
to start serving sashimi?
56
00:03:45,677 --> 00:03:48,373
Maybe when I find out
what it is.
57
00:03:50,148 --> 00:03:52,844
You've never
heard of sashimi?
58
00:03:52,917 --> 00:03:55,408
You've got
to be kidding.
59
00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:58,284
It's this special
Japanese fish you eat raw.
60
00:03:58,356 --> 00:04:00,290
A little
butter sauce,
61
00:04:00,358 --> 00:04:02,849
and you're ready
to go to heaven.
62
00:04:02,927 --> 00:04:07,660
I'd hire you in a minute if I hadn't
already fired you so many times.
63
00:04:07,732 --> 00:04:10,565
Did you ever think
of leaving town?
64
00:04:12,437 --> 00:04:15,600
Thousands of people
over in St. Louis...
65
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:20,440
got no idea
how full of shit you are.
66
00:04:20,511 --> 00:04:24,038
You've been alive for
21 years, my friend.
67
00:04:24,115 --> 00:04:26,049
Plenty of time
for most people...
68
00:04:26,117 --> 00:04:28,449
to find a place
for themselves.
69
00:04:30,088 --> 00:04:34,081
Well, I'm not like
everybody else.
70
00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:37,184
- You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, that's for sure.
71
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:41,698
How about if I...
72
00:04:41,766 --> 00:04:44,234
I work for you
for free?
73
00:04:44,302 --> 00:04:46,236
[Bell]
74
00:04:46,304 --> 00:04:48,772
No.
75
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,865
I'm afraid not, Jimmy.
76
00:04:51,976 --> 00:04:54,444
Think about St. Louis.
77
00:04:55,813 --> 00:04:57,747
- Hey, Josie.
- Hi.
78
00:04:57,815 --> 00:05:00,841
- Fill her up?
- Fill her up.
79
00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:21,064
How you doin'?
80
00:05:38,089 --> 00:05:40,819
You got fired again,
didn't you? Didn't you?
81
00:05:40,892 --> 00:05:42,951
Who told you that?
82
00:05:43,027 --> 00:05:47,623
- Hubie Marshall called me at work.
- He called you at work?
83
00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:50,758
That's it, I'm gonna...
What'd he say?
84
00:05:50,835 --> 00:05:52,769
He said
he fired ya!
85
00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:56,206
He said that?
And you believed him?
86
00:05:56,274 --> 00:05:58,367
Damn straight I do!
87
00:05:58,443 --> 00:06:01,708
With all due respect, Dad,
you're Mr. Gullible. Sometimes.
88
00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,507
The truth of the matter is,
Dad, I resigned.
89
00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:10,049
- I'll tell you something else.
- Shut up, Jimmy!
90
00:06:10,121 --> 00:06:13,056
I had no idea the job was
gonna be a hire/fire situation.
91
00:06:14,158 --> 00:06:16,558
Luther Betenhauser's boy
is doing better.
92
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,061
- What's wrong with him?
- Fell off his grandfather's silo.
93
00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:22,293
- He's got brain damage.
- He does not.
94
00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:25,893
Hoover Fey says his tongue's gonna
hang out his mouth the rest of his life.
95
00:06:25,970 --> 00:06:27,733
And when he dies,
96
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:30,330
at the funeral they're
gonna put a mask on him.
97
00:06:30,408 --> 00:06:33,935
Do I have to listen to this
while I'm eating?
98
00:06:34,011 --> 00:06:35,945
Let's talk about
something else.
99
00:06:40,451 --> 00:06:42,316
Josie McClellan
moved to New York.
100
00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:45,813
She did not.
I saw her today.
101
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:48,381
I don't know
how you could.
102
00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:51,394
I heard she got tired of
taking care of her father,
103
00:06:51,462 --> 00:06:53,828
and she told him
to jump in a lake,
104
00:06:53,898 --> 00:06:56,093
and left to get her M.B.A.
In high-fashion design...
105
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:58,362
at the University
of New York City.
106
00:06:59,237 --> 00:07:02,866
I just saw her at the gas station
in living color.
107
00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:04,908
We had a cup
of java together.
108
00:07:04,976 --> 00:07:09,106
I'm gonna take Lou Selby's
word over yours any day.
109
00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:11,239
Lou Selby's a drunk.
110
00:07:13,417 --> 00:07:15,510
For a guy who's just
lost his umpteenth job,
111
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:18,053
you sure are handy
with the tongue sword.
112
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:22,248
- You got canned again?
- Well, he didn't get canned.
113
00:07:23,258 --> 00:07:25,419
He got fired.
114
00:07:25,494 --> 00:07:27,519
That's gotta be a record.
115
00:07:31,733 --> 00:07:33,701
Not only are you
an obnoxious slug,
116
00:07:33,769 --> 00:07:36,260
but you're a freeloading
obnoxious slug.
117
00:07:36,338 --> 00:07:38,306
You should talk.
118
00:07:38,373 --> 00:07:40,637
In your mid-forties,
still living at home.
119
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:45,305
I'm twenty-four,
and I pay rent.
120
00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:47,644
- So do I.
- You did pay rent.
121
00:07:47,716 --> 00:07:51,948
Dad, you mean you're
cutting my rent?
122
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:54,250
Hell, no!
123
00:07:54,323 --> 00:07:57,292
You're not paying rent because
you don't have a job or any money.
124
00:07:57,359 --> 00:08:00,021
You're out of school and you live
in this house, you pay rent.
125
00:08:05,667 --> 00:08:08,568
# I wanna stay home #
126
00:08:10,505 --> 00:08:14,339
# I wanna stay home
right here #
127
00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:18,436
# I wanna stay home
today #
128
00:08:19,514 --> 00:08:22,176
Jim! Yo, Jim!
129
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,378
Jim, wake up!
130
00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:26,546
Hey, get up!
131
00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:31,724
Get u-u-up!
132
00:08:32,594 --> 00:08:35,563
# When my day begins ##
133
00:08:35,631 --> 00:08:38,964
[Jim]
You know, getting this job,
134
00:08:39,034 --> 00:08:42,834
restoring your faith and pride in me
is a number-1 priority.
135
00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:45,897
Priority ought to be making
something of yourself.
136
00:08:45,974 --> 00:08:47,908
That's right up there.
137
00:08:47,976 --> 00:08:51,810
When I was your age, I couldn't wait
to get out of my folks' house.
138
00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:55,415
I love living at home.
139
00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:08,924
I don't think this is such
a great place for me to work.
140
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,701
Okay,
141
00:09:13,769 --> 00:09:17,637
say I don't get this job,
hypothetically.
142
00:09:17,706 --> 00:09:19,139
Are you gonna be upset?
143
00:09:19,207 --> 00:09:22,574
You don't get this job,
you're on a bus to St. Louis.
144
00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:24,339
St. Louis?
145
00:09:24,413 --> 00:09:26,540
Uncle Jeff's offered you
work in his garden shop.
146
00:09:26,615 --> 00:09:29,015
I don't know anything
about gardening.
147
00:09:29,084 --> 00:09:31,382
You will learn!
148
00:09:31,453 --> 00:09:34,581
I'm getting a feeling that
you want me out of your life.
149
00:09:34,656 --> 00:09:37,819
I don't want you out of my life,
I want you out of my house.
150
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:41,295
- Wow.
- Out!
151
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,058
Okay, okay, okay.
152
00:09:58,714 --> 00:10:03,276
- Sure I can't offer you a bear claw?
- No, thanks.
153
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,844
- They're good, fresh.
- No, I'm fine.
154
00:10:06,922 --> 00:10:10,289
You don't want one,
and I don't need one.
155
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,953
- Right!
- I love the darn things, though.
156
00:10:13,028 --> 00:10:16,930
I could eat those by the dozen.
By the looks of it, I have.
157
00:10:16,999 --> 00:10:18,933
Right.
158
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:21,970
I'm so excited that
you're considering...
159
00:10:22,037 --> 00:10:25,336
joining the Target team.
We all are.
160
00:10:26,942 --> 00:10:28,204
I appreciate that.
161
00:10:28,276 --> 00:10:31,768
Good. Then let's cut
right to the chase.
162
00:10:33,181 --> 00:10:36,514
We're prepared
to offer you $42,500 a year...
163
00:10:36,585 --> 00:10:38,712
with a full benefit package.
164
00:10:38,787 --> 00:10:41,153
That's dental, medical,
165
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:43,384
profit sharing, pension,
166
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:46,427
expense account, car allowance,
167
00:10:46,495 --> 00:10:48,156
vacation, of course,
168
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:52,291
and any and all
relocating expenses.
169
00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:56,463
This is our first, best,
and last offer. What do you think?
170
00:10:57,172 --> 00:11:00,039
Well... um, C. D...
171
00:11:00,108 --> 00:11:01,905
with all due respect,
172
00:11:01,977 --> 00:11:03,945
I came in here...
173
00:11:04,012 --> 00:11:06,674
with the number forty-five
in mind, and...
174
00:11:10,786 --> 00:11:14,051
## ["Jeopardy Theme"]
175
00:11:24,666 --> 00:11:26,725
Hmph.
176
00:11:28,837 --> 00:11:31,431
[Chuckling]
You've got me.
177
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:35,433
- Forty-five it is.
- [Laughing]
178
00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:38,274
- Welcome aboard.
- Thank you.
179
00:11:38,346 --> 00:11:40,644
- I'd like to buy you lunch.
- No, no, no.
180
00:11:40,715 --> 00:11:42,910
Your money's no good here.
Lunch is mine.
181
00:11:42,984 --> 00:11:45,919
- I'm not going to argue.
- Better not. I'm bigger than you.
182
00:11:45,987 --> 00:11:47,921
[Intercom Buzzer]
183
00:11:47,989 --> 00:11:50,480
Hang on a second.
I told her to hold my calls.
184
00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:53,619
Yeah, Peg. Uh-huh.
185
00:11:53,695 --> 00:11:55,890
No, it's okay.
186
00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:59,092
- He's right here with me now.
- Hi, Peg.
187
00:11:59,167 --> 00:12:01,658
We just closed the deal.
Uh-huh.
188
00:12:01,736 --> 00:12:06,070
It was a slam-dunk, too.
I got him for forty-five.
189
00:12:06,141 --> 00:12:10,737
[Chuckling]
190
00:12:10,812 --> 00:12:13,337
No, he's right here.
191
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:17,351
What do you mean
he missed the plane?
192
00:12:19,588 --> 00:12:21,681
Then who the hell
am I talking to?
193
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:25,426
Ohhh!
194
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:31,398
I'll, uh...
I'll get back to you.
195
00:12:31,466 --> 00:12:33,900
I know a great,
little Italian place...
196
00:12:33,969 --> 00:12:36,403
that has the best pasta
primatonis in the wor...
197
00:12:36,471 --> 00:12:38,405
Excuse me a minute,
will you please?
198
00:12:38,473 --> 00:12:41,499
- Lovely wife you have there.
- Dodge, James?
199
00:12:42,911 --> 00:12:46,005
- Mm-hmm.
- [Clears Throat]
200
00:12:46,081 --> 00:12:48,606
James, I'm afraid we have
a little misunderstanding.
201
00:12:48,683 --> 00:12:51,516
You see, I thought
you came in for the, uh...
202
00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:55,044
operations manager's job.
203
00:12:55,123 --> 00:12:58,559
I have you down here
as night cleanup boy.
204
00:13:00,962 --> 00:13:02,827
Well, I'm a little overpaid...
205
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:05,696
for night cleanup boy,
wouldn't you say?
206
00:13:07,335 --> 00:13:11,669
The truth is, James,
I can offer you $4.44 per hour.
207
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,035
Uh, four, four...
$4.44...
208
00:13:18,113 --> 00:13:21,480
- $4.44.
- What about the benefits?
209
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,984
Two fifteen-minute breaks
and a half hour for lunch.
210
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:29,422
And the title is, uh,
night... cleanup boy.
211
00:13:29,491 --> 00:13:31,322
Yes.
212
00:13:33,628 --> 00:13:34,856
I'll take it.
213
00:13:34,930 --> 00:13:37,558
Oh, and, uh...
Iose the curl.
214
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:42,892
- Welcome to the Target team.
- Thank you.
215
00:13:42,971 --> 00:13:46,236
[Man] So the parrot says,
"Of course I can talk."
216
00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:49,141
- Can you fly?
- [Laughing]
217
00:13:50,812 --> 00:13:54,942
I don't want any damn Japanese
automobile plant in this town.
218
00:13:57,586 --> 00:14:00,612
It... it means jobs.
219
00:14:00,689 --> 00:14:02,748
I don't need a job.
220
00:14:02,824 --> 00:14:05,588
Your governor's tryin' to use
my town as a political chip.
221
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:07,389
[Roger]
I resent that.
222
00:14:07,462 --> 00:14:11,330
There could be some specific
benefits for you personally.
223
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,928
[Roger]
Josie!
224
00:14:19,874 --> 00:14:22,035
- Yeah?
- Come here.
225
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:25,346
Meet these gentlemen
from the governor's office.
226
00:14:26,481 --> 00:14:29,780
Come on in here, honey.
227
00:14:43,431 --> 00:14:46,867
Honey, I want
you to meet Bill, uh...
228
00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:50,597
Uh, Bob. Bob Bosenbeck.
229
00:14:53,608 --> 00:14:55,098
Bob.
230
00:15:11,025 --> 00:15:12,117
Dave.
231
00:15:15,630 --> 00:15:17,495
My pleasure, Dave.
232
00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:22,593
Right. Dave Hockner.
233
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:25,696
I don't want to interrupt.
234
00:15:25,773 --> 00:15:27,968
Very nice to meet both of you.
235
00:15:28,042 --> 00:15:29,669
Bye.
236
00:15:29,744 --> 00:15:31,678
[Hockner]
Bye.
237
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:39,276
[Roger]
Josie?
238
00:15:39,353 --> 00:15:41,287
Josie!
239
00:15:43,791 --> 00:15:45,725
[Footsteps]
240
00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:51,930
You pull another stunt
like you did today,
241
00:15:51,999 --> 00:15:55,264
I'll beat the livin'
daylights outta you!
242
00:16:03,878 --> 00:16:06,813
[Passionate Moaning]
243
00:16:14,388 --> 00:16:17,687
- [Gasping]
- All right, out!
244
00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:19,953
[Screaming]
245
00:16:20,027 --> 00:16:23,428
Out of the vehicle, ma'am.
Get out of here!
246
00:16:23,497 --> 00:16:25,465
Get out of the car!
247
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:47,180
Right on time!
248
00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:52,458
Everything's going as planned.
249
00:16:53,594 --> 00:16:54,856
You ordered a limousine?
250
00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:58,664
Of course.
251
00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:00,667
My first day of work.
252
00:17:00,735 --> 00:17:03,829
How's it gonna look
if my dad drives me?
253
00:17:03,904 --> 00:17:05,838
A little treat
for getting the job.
254
00:17:05,906 --> 00:17:07,897
It was only fifty bucks.
255
00:17:07,975 --> 00:17:10,307
[Whistling]
256
00:17:10,378 --> 00:17:13,279
- Right on time, Henry.
- Yes, sir.
257
00:17:13,347 --> 00:17:17,181
Henry, the sign... very wrong.
258
00:17:20,021 --> 00:17:22,046
Ciao!
259
00:17:28,963 --> 00:17:31,124
Hey, Jim, where you going?
260
00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:34,363
Hello, boys.
261
00:17:34,435 --> 00:17:36,960
Going to Paris on an F-14.
262
00:17:37,038 --> 00:17:39,836
Got a peace meeting with the
vice president of Bulgaria.
263
00:17:39,907 --> 00:17:42,899
Business, you know?
Then I'm going to Venice,
264
00:17:42,977 --> 00:17:45,275
for a spaghetti dinner
with the princess of Austria.
265
00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:48,213
A beautiful lady...
really big bones.
266
00:17:48,282 --> 00:17:50,910
Remember to brush
your teeth, Melvin!
267
00:17:50,985 --> 00:17:54,477
You, too, Sidney!
Adios!
268
00:17:56,157 --> 00:17:59,684
Jim is so cool!
269
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:04,763
## [Pop]
270
00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:26,037
Bobby.
271
00:19:27,848 --> 00:19:30,248
Got a loose tile here.
In the morning...
272
00:19:30,317 --> 00:19:32,114
take care of it.
273
00:19:32,186 --> 00:19:35,053
I don't need a lawsuit, okay?
274
00:19:35,122 --> 00:19:37,352
I've got enough to worry about.
275
00:19:39,126 --> 00:19:40,354
Who's he?
276
00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:42,396
[P.A. System]
Attention, shoppers.
277
00:19:42,463 --> 00:19:44,397
The store will be closing
in five minutes.
278
00:19:44,465 --> 00:19:47,559
Bring all your purchases
to the front.
279
00:19:47,635 --> 00:19:50,570
## [Continues]
280
00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:31,310
- Are you a slacker?
- No, uh, Presbyterian.
281
00:20:31,378 --> 00:20:33,573
What did you say?
What did you say?
282
00:20:33,647 --> 00:20:35,774
I'm askin' you
a simple question.
283
00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:37,943
- Are you lazy?
- No, sir.
284
00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:42,045
The last guy that wore that uniform was
a lazy slacker, and I fired his butt.
285
00:20:43,624 --> 00:20:47,788
Uh, about the uniform,
will I be getting my own?
286
00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:51,992
You work out, which I doubt,
you can have a new name patch.
287
00:20:57,171 --> 00:21:01,505
Would I be able to have it laundered?
It smells a little like Darnell.
288
00:21:01,575 --> 00:21:03,907
I don't think you know
who you're messin' with.
289
00:21:04,812 --> 00:21:06,837
After you clean the
ladies' and mens' crappers...
290
00:21:06,914 --> 00:21:09,974
and you'd better be able
to eat off those bowls...
291
00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:12,848
you clean my coffee maker,
then wax my desk.
292
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,047
Uh, clean what?
293
00:21:15,122 --> 00:21:18,558
- Clean my coffee maker and wax my desk!
- I got it!
294
00:21:18,626 --> 00:21:21,186
Sweep the aisles,
startin' with health and beauty.
295
00:21:21,262 --> 00:21:23,196
Work your way over to
juniors and misses.
296
00:21:23,264 --> 00:21:25,698
Ups and downs, leaving your
debris in the cross aisles.
297
00:21:25,766 --> 00:21:27,700
So, I start with
health and beauty...
298
00:21:27,768 --> 00:21:29,759
I just said to start
with health and beauty!
299
00:21:29,837 --> 00:21:32,135
Then you do
your cross aisles.
300
00:21:32,206 --> 00:21:34,140
That'll bring your
dust bin into play.
301
00:21:34,208 --> 00:21:36,233
Take the debris.
Load it into the dustbin.
302
00:21:36,310 --> 00:21:39,211
Take the dustbin out
to the loading dock...
303
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,214
and empty it into
the receptacle.
304
00:21:41,282 --> 00:21:43,807
- Got that? Easy as pie.
- Yeah.
305
00:21:43,884 --> 00:21:45,977
I was employed briefly
at Del Taco, and...
306
00:21:46,053 --> 00:21:48,621
I don't care about your
Del Taco experience.
307
00:21:48,755 --> 00:21:51,053
We've got this problem
in this store with grazers.
308
00:21:51,124 --> 00:21:54,685
- You know what a grazer is?
- Is that a farm term?
309
00:21:54,761 --> 00:21:58,754
It's a customer or employee
that eats off the shelves,
310
00:21:58,831 --> 00:22:01,356
similar to a cow grazing
in a field of grass.
311
00:22:01,434 --> 00:22:04,062
Only this isn't a field of grass,
and you're not a cow.
312
00:22:04,137 --> 00:22:06,799
There's no eatin'.
You're not being paid to eat, so don't!
313
00:22:06,873 --> 00:22:09,740
- Any questions?
- Not right off hand.
314
00:22:09,809 --> 00:22:12,243
- Think you can handle it?
- I'll give it the old college try.
315
00:22:12,311 --> 00:22:14,336
Don't touch me!
316
00:22:14,414 --> 00:22:17,110
Well, despite our
age difference,
317
00:22:17,183 --> 00:22:19,151
I think I'll enjoy
working with you.
318
00:22:19,218 --> 00:22:21,482
Let's get something straight.
You ain't workin' with me.
319
00:22:21,554 --> 00:22:23,488
You're working for me.
320
00:22:23,556 --> 00:22:27,253
- Still, it'll be fun being around you.
- I ain't gonna be near you.
321
00:22:27,326 --> 00:22:29,954
I'm gonna be home pumping the pasties
out of Colleen Jackson.
322
00:22:30,029 --> 00:22:34,022
- You're not going to be here?
- Hell, no.
323
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,694
I'm gonna be here
by myself?
324
00:22:38,271 --> 00:22:42,037
That's right. And you'd better
stay out of the ladies' undergoods.
325
00:22:43,476 --> 00:22:46,877
Wait a minute!
Nobody told me I'd be here alone.
326
00:22:46,946 --> 00:22:49,414
- What are you doing?
- Saving money.
327
00:22:49,482 --> 00:22:51,541
Wait! Are you
turning off the lights?
328
00:22:51,617 --> 00:22:54,142
In 25 seconds, you got
light in every third aisle.
329
00:22:54,220 --> 00:22:56,586
When the sun comes up,
turn off all the lights.
330
00:22:56,656 --> 00:22:57,023
I don't understand.
Hold on!
331
00:22:57,023 --> 00:23:00,254
I don't understand.
Hold on!
332
00:23:00,326 --> 00:23:02,191
I'm locking you in.
333
00:23:02,261 --> 00:23:04,354
When I come back at 7:00
to open up,
334
00:23:04,430 --> 00:23:05,863
I'll let you out.
335
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:11,495
- You're locking me in?
- What do you take me for, a fool?
336
00:23:11,571 --> 00:23:14,972
Nobody gets keys on their
first night. Nobody!
337
00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:17,236
Get to work!
338
00:23:17,310 --> 00:23:20,336
- What if there's a fire?
- The fire department will come.
339
00:23:20,413 --> 00:23:24,747
- I could perish!
- Ha-ha-ha. Boo!
340
00:23:24,817 --> 00:23:27,251
You can't do this.
I'm locked in, alone, in the dark.
341
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:31,256
That was not a part
of my employment agreement.
342
00:24:18,671 --> 00:24:22,869
# You got to wash with
the crocodile in the river #
343
00:24:22,942 --> 00:24:27,436
# You got to swim
with the sharks in the sea #
344
00:24:27,513 --> 00:24:31,574
# You got to live with
the crooked politician #
345
00:24:31,651 --> 00:24:34,745
# Trust those things
that you can never see #
346
00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:39,257
# Ay yeah, yeah
Ay yeah, yeah #
347
00:24:39,325 --> 00:24:41,885
# Ay yeah, yeah
Ay yeah, yeah #
348
00:24:41,961 --> 00:24:43,155
Agh!
349
00:24:51,837 --> 00:24:56,467
# It's a cruel, crazy
beautiful world #
350
00:24:56,542 --> 00:25:01,639
# Every day you wake up
I hope it's a blue, blue sky #
351
00:25:04,183 --> 00:25:08,711
# It's a cruel, crazy
beautiful world #
352
00:25:08,788 --> 00:25:10,847
# One day
when you wake up #
353
00:25:10,923 --> 00:25:14,017
# I will have to
say good-bye #
354
00:25:16,362 --> 00:25:18,159
# Say good-bye #
355
00:25:23,603 --> 00:25:27,471
# It's your world
so live in it, good-bye #
356
00:25:27,540 --> 00:25:30,907
# It's your world
so live in it... ##
357
00:25:46,993 --> 00:25:49,018
9:17!
358
00:25:51,464 --> 00:25:53,728
Time for a break.
359
00:26:18,824 --> 00:26:20,052
Hello.
360
00:26:22,294 --> 00:26:24,228
Anybody out there?
361
00:26:24,296 --> 00:26:26,264
When I accepted...
362
00:26:26,332 --> 00:26:30,860
the post of president,
grand poobah of Target,
363
00:26:30,936 --> 00:26:34,770
realizing that
I had brought...
364
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,434
meaningfulness,
peace, and happiness...
365
00:26:37,510 --> 00:26:39,705
into the lives of
thousands of people.
366
00:26:39,779 --> 00:26:43,215
Jim Dodge, of Monroe,
367
00:26:43,282 --> 00:26:45,307
top moneymaker on the tour.
368
00:26:45,384 --> 00:26:47,614
His father's here today,
Bud Dodge,
369
00:26:47,687 --> 00:26:49,655
and sister Penny,
a sad, sad story,
370
00:26:49,722 --> 00:26:52,657
was just admitted to
University Hospital.
371
00:26:52,725 --> 00:26:56,627
While trying to pop a zit,
her head mysteriously exploded.
372
00:27:18,617 --> 00:27:20,551
[Phone Ringing]
373
00:27:20,619 --> 00:27:22,450
[Jim]
Dad! Hi!
374
00:27:22,521 --> 00:27:24,512
Do you know
what time it is?
375
00:27:24,590 --> 00:27:27,957
I'm starting to think about
Christmas and gifts,
376
00:27:28,027 --> 00:27:31,827
because I'm in a big store
and I'm getting gift ideas.
377
00:27:31,897 --> 00:27:34,764
- Hi.
- Mom, hi!
378
00:27:34,834 --> 00:27:36,768
How's it going?
379
00:27:36,836 --> 00:27:38,804
I finished all
my janitor stuff.
380
00:27:38,871 --> 00:27:41,362
Most of it. I've got
to save some for later.
381
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:45,843
- It's easy as hell.
- Uh, honey, it's a little late.
382
00:27:45,911 --> 00:27:48,277
It is kind of late.
383
00:27:48,347 --> 00:27:50,872
Sleep tight.
384
00:27:50,950 --> 00:27:53,111
See you in the morning.
385
00:27:53,185 --> 00:27:55,881
- [Dial Tone]
- Love you, too.
386
00:27:59,759 --> 00:28:02,626
Mr. James Dodge!
387
00:28:58,116 --> 00:29:01,051
He can't be happy as
the night cleanup boy.
388
00:29:02,988 --> 00:29:05,388
Sweetheart,
389
00:29:05,457 --> 00:29:08,722
he wants us
to call him a janitor.
390
00:29:10,729 --> 00:29:13,459
Maybe I should have spent
less time harping...
391
00:29:13,531 --> 00:29:15,829
and more time helping.
392
00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:19,358
Harpin' and helpin'
him what?
393
00:29:19,437 --> 00:29:23,567
Harpin' on him to leave,
and helpin' him become...
394
00:29:23,642 --> 00:29:27,408
the good, mature,
productive person he could be.
395
00:30:56,701 --> 00:30:58,999
Are you all right?
396
00:31:00,338 --> 00:31:03,205
Yes, I'm fine, thanks.
And you?
397
00:31:04,709 --> 00:31:06,233
What are you doing here?
398
00:31:08,012 --> 00:31:09,775
I work here.
399
00:31:09,848 --> 00:31:12,078
Have a good one, Officer Don.
400
00:31:12,150 --> 00:31:16,177
Okay, Carl. Let me know
if you hear anything.
401
00:31:16,254 --> 00:31:18,620
You bet.
402
00:31:18,690 --> 00:31:21,784
Well, sir,
she didn't leave on the bus.
403
00:31:21,860 --> 00:31:25,023
Let's look for her
someplace else.
404
00:31:25,096 --> 00:31:27,860
She wouldn't be dumb
enough to thumb, would she?
405
00:31:27,932 --> 00:31:31,868
Does she have any friends
she might have run off with?
406
00:31:32,804 --> 00:31:33,930
Boyfriends?
407
00:31:34,005 --> 00:31:37,907
Just get in the car
so we can look for the girl.
408
00:31:37,976 --> 00:31:41,139
I'm tired,
haven't had any coffee.
409
00:31:41,212 --> 00:31:44,010
My daughter, I don't know
where the hell she is.
410
00:31:44,082 --> 00:31:46,448
And you're sounding like
some goddamn preacher!
411
00:31:46,518 --> 00:31:48,452
Come on, get in the car!
412
00:31:50,054 --> 00:31:51,919
Prick.
413
00:31:56,094 --> 00:31:58,790
Are you sure you
didn't hurt yourself?
414
00:31:58,863 --> 00:32:01,388
Oh, no.
Are you kidding?
415
00:32:01,466 --> 00:32:04,060
No, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
416
00:32:04,135 --> 00:32:06,330
Can I ask what
you were doing?
417
00:32:06,404 --> 00:32:08,395
I was roller-skating.
418
00:32:08,473 --> 00:32:11,374
- I know, but why?
- Why not?
419
00:32:11,442 --> 00:32:14,900
I got bored.
One thing led to another...
420
00:32:14,979 --> 00:32:18,312
and I'm roller-skating
in my shorts.
421
00:32:18,383 --> 00:32:21,181
Better question would be,
"What are you doing here?"
422
00:32:21,252 --> 00:32:22,913
Shopping.
423
00:32:24,222 --> 00:32:26,190
We've been closed
for five hours.
424
00:32:26,257 --> 00:32:28,555
Yeah. I fell asleep.
425
00:32:28,626 --> 00:32:31,390
- While shopping?
- No, in the ladies' dressing room.
426
00:32:31,462 --> 00:32:35,125
That makes no sense.
You're a high-profile young ingenue.
427
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,296
I was debating whether or not
to get arrested for shoplifting.
428
00:32:40,438 --> 00:32:43,566
Your father owns $10 million
worth of real estate.
429
00:32:43,641 --> 00:32:47,077
- It's not my fault.
- I didn't imply such.
430
00:32:47,145 --> 00:32:49,511
It seems funny
that someone of your...
431
00:32:50,381 --> 00:32:53,350
- Wealth?
- If you will. Would shoplift.
432
00:32:53,418 --> 00:32:56,251
I didn't do it.
I chickened out.
433
00:32:57,322 --> 00:32:58,949
Would consider shoplifting.
434
00:33:00,024 --> 00:33:03,551
It's a long, self-indulgent,
highly unromantic story...
435
00:33:03,628 --> 00:33:05,960
about an overbearing father,
436
00:33:06,030 --> 00:33:08,089
deceased mother and brother,
437
00:33:08,166 --> 00:33:11,966
and a completely confused girl
who looks a little like me.
438
00:33:49,474 --> 00:33:52,637
I sure am glad
you dropped by.
439
00:33:52,710 --> 00:33:56,077
I was getting tired
of being with myself.
440
00:33:58,917 --> 00:34:02,876
I guess... I'm what you
call a people person.
441
00:34:05,356 --> 00:34:07,950
- What are you cooking?
- Hobo chicken.
442
00:34:08,026 --> 00:34:10,517
It's a glazed chicken
in wine sauce...
443
00:34:10,595 --> 00:34:13,189
with vegetables
and skin-on potatoes.
444
00:34:13,264 --> 00:34:16,256
Silverware, silverware.
445
00:34:18,770 --> 00:34:21,261
It's only 210 calories.
446
00:34:21,339 --> 00:34:25,275
I don't know if you're watching
your figure, but I sure am.
447
00:34:25,343 --> 00:34:29,040
If you can grab a serving spoon,
I think we'll be set.
448
00:34:35,019 --> 00:34:37,044
Keep your distance
from these things.
449
00:34:37,121 --> 00:34:39,646
I think it's safe
to keep five feet.
450
00:34:44,295 --> 00:34:46,661
I think they're about done.
451
00:34:48,599 --> 00:34:51,762
Dining room's right this way.
452
00:34:53,571 --> 00:34:55,505
Mmm!
453
00:34:58,076 --> 00:35:02,137
I think my father poured
the cement for your pool.
454
00:35:03,181 --> 00:35:06,082
He's a cement contractor.
Good man.
455
00:35:07,218 --> 00:35:08,776
Bud Dodge?
456
00:35:08,853 --> 00:35:11,754
My mother works at
Hoenicker's over Christmas.
457
00:35:11,823 --> 00:35:13,757
My sister's a teller
at the bank.
458
00:35:13,825 --> 00:35:16,259
My brother's in grade school.
He's not employed.
459
00:35:16,327 --> 00:35:19,091
I used to work at
the animal shelter,
460
00:35:19,163 --> 00:35:23,099
but I was terminated.
Now I'm working here.
461
00:35:25,003 --> 00:35:26,630
Do you always
talk this much?
462
00:35:29,474 --> 00:35:31,533
I guess I do.
463
00:35:31,609 --> 00:35:34,635
I like talking to people.
464
00:35:35,913 --> 00:35:39,542
- Maybe you should go into sales.
- I've actually tried that.
465
00:35:46,524 --> 00:35:49,357
Some fresh ground pepper?
466
00:35:49,427 --> 00:35:50,894
Please.
467
00:35:53,331 --> 00:35:55,799
Some people don't like
a lot of pepper. Say when.
468
00:35:55,867 --> 00:35:57,858
That's fine.
469
00:35:57,935 --> 00:35:59,869
I happen to really
like it a lot.
470
00:35:59,937 --> 00:36:03,395
It enhances the natural
flavor of the chicken.
471
00:36:07,045 --> 00:36:10,606
I hope you don't take
this the wrong way.
472
00:36:10,681 --> 00:36:12,450
I've had dreams about you.
473
00:36:12,584 --> 00:36:15,144
You've had dreams about me?
474
00:36:16,588 --> 00:36:17,782
Not recently.
475
00:36:17,855 --> 00:36:20,016
I've had dreams
about you in the past.
476
00:36:20,091 --> 00:36:22,958
I've had dreams about
entire cheerleading squads,
477
00:36:23,027 --> 00:36:25,154
so don't get me wrong.
478
00:36:25,230 --> 00:36:28,393
- It's kid stuff. How 'bout you?
- Do I dream?
479
00:36:30,568 --> 00:36:32,900
That's about all I do.
480
00:36:46,517 --> 00:36:50,419
[Roger] Raisin' a kid's hard work.
You got any kids?
481
00:36:50,488 --> 00:36:52,547
No, sir. And from
listening to you,
482
00:36:52,624 --> 00:36:55,058
and from observin' this,
483
00:36:55,126 --> 00:36:58,152
I'm kinda grateful
Emily turned up infertile.
484
00:37:15,747 --> 00:37:18,580
Shouldn't you be
cleaning up the store?
485
00:37:18,650 --> 00:37:20,584
I got plenty of time.
486
00:37:20,652 --> 00:37:24,053
- Big store.
- Huge.
487
00:37:25,123 --> 00:37:26,522
Always smoke cigars?
488
00:37:28,126 --> 00:37:30,287
I enjoy a good one
after a fine meal.
489
00:37:30,361 --> 00:37:32,295
It settles the stomach.
490
00:37:33,831 --> 00:37:35,321
You're the town liar,
right?
491
00:37:40,138 --> 00:37:42,072
- What?
- I'm sorry.
492
00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:43,732
That really came out wrong.
493
00:37:45,476 --> 00:37:48,809
- How could it come out right?
- That's what people call you.
494
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,041
- I didn't mean to imply it's true.
- People call me that?
495
00:37:51,115 --> 00:37:54,243
- I thought you knew.
- That I was the town liar?
496
00:37:54,319 --> 00:37:56,685
- You didn't?
- No. I'm not.
497
00:37:56,754 --> 00:37:59,655
- You have the wrong information.
- I didn't mean to offend you.
498
00:38:00,625 --> 00:38:05,062
- Did you think that was a compliment?
- No. And I apologize.
499
00:38:05,129 --> 00:38:09,031
- I can't repeat things like that.
- Don't think about it.
500
00:38:09,100 --> 00:38:12,228
As I said, you've got
the wrong information.
501
00:38:12,303 --> 00:38:14,464
If people are calling me that,
502
00:38:14,539 --> 00:38:16,666
it's because they're
small, petty and jealous.
503
00:38:16,741 --> 00:38:19,642
Small towns are
notorious for that.
504
00:38:19,711 --> 00:38:21,872
- I'm sure there's a word for me.
- Sure.
505
00:38:21,946 --> 00:38:24,540
- What do they call me?
- A tease.
506
00:38:24,615 --> 00:38:26,845
Tease?
507
00:38:26,918 --> 00:38:30,217
Yeah, I can see that.
508
00:38:31,456 --> 00:38:34,186
Actually, I never teased.
509
00:38:34,258 --> 00:38:36,522
This is becoming amusing,
510
00:38:36,594 --> 00:38:40,360
- but who exactly calls me a liar?
- Everybody.
511
00:38:40,431 --> 00:38:43,423
- Everybody.
- No, not everybody.
512
00:38:43,501 --> 00:38:47,267
- There's some old people in town.
- Right.
513
00:38:51,209 --> 00:38:54,542
- What do you think?
- What do I think?
514
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,378
Do you think I'm a liar?
515
00:38:58,449 --> 00:39:00,440
I don't know you well enough.
516
00:39:02,553 --> 00:39:06,580
You've known me for 17 years. We went to
the same schools from kindergarten on.
517
00:39:06,657 --> 00:39:09,455
I knew of you, but I didn't
know you personally.
518
00:39:10,661 --> 00:39:12,754
That's always bothered me.
519
00:39:12,830 --> 00:39:16,459
I mean that old...
in-out, us-them thing.
520
00:39:16,534 --> 00:39:20,095
- That's the way it's been.
- It's always bothered me.
521
00:39:20,171 --> 00:39:24,699
- It's water over the dam now.
- But it's your dam and my water.
522
00:39:24,776 --> 00:39:26,744
I got crapped on
a lot of years.
523
00:39:26,811 --> 00:39:28,802
I meant that it's in the past.
524
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,849
The present
is a result of the past.
525
00:39:31,916 --> 00:39:33,850
I look at my
high school yearbook...
526
00:39:33,918 --> 00:39:37,183
and I don't see
four fabulous years.
527
00:39:37,255 --> 00:39:39,416
I'm reminded of
what it feels like...
528
00:39:39,490 --> 00:39:41,981
to have my underwear
yanked up my ass...
529
00:39:42,059 --> 00:39:43,993
by some big football player.
530
00:39:44,061 --> 00:39:46,393
And where are those guys now?
531
00:39:48,099 --> 00:39:52,729
They're not working nights at Target.
I'll tell you that.
532
00:39:52,804 --> 00:39:55,432
Yeah, You know...
533
00:39:55,506 --> 00:39:57,474
I look at my yearbook...
534
00:39:57,542 --> 00:40:00,875
and I see
four fabulous years...
535
00:40:02,046 --> 00:40:03,980
that are gonna be the
highlight of my life.
536
00:40:04,048 --> 00:40:05,982
Here's what it's like.
537
00:40:06,050 --> 00:40:08,575
First you feel a hand
going down your pants...
538
00:40:08,653 --> 00:40:11,850
and tighten around
the elastic waistband.
539
00:40:11,923 --> 00:40:12,947
Highlight.
540
00:40:13,024 --> 00:40:16,027
- Sometimes I'd actually see stars.
- It's not going to get better.
541
00:40:16,027 --> 00:40:16,516
- Sometimes I'd actually see stars.
- It's not going to get better.
542
00:40:16,594 --> 00:40:18,562
If I was particularly unlucky,
543
00:40:18,629 --> 00:40:23,225
my shorts would rip completely free
and I'd get this really drastic...
544
00:40:23,301 --> 00:40:25,269
Do you hear me?
545
00:40:27,205 --> 00:40:28,229
Yeah.
546
00:40:31,576 --> 00:40:34,568
I don't really care about a graphic
description of a childhood prank.
547
00:40:35,313 --> 00:40:37,543
That prank was a motif in my life.
548
00:40:42,186 --> 00:40:45,383
You know, I'm locked
in this store here...
549
00:40:45,456 --> 00:40:48,653
because I didn't have
the guts to steal a skirt...
550
00:40:48,726 --> 00:40:51,058
so I could get arrested
and embarrass my father...
551
00:40:51,128 --> 00:40:54,029
in this stupid,
desperate, childish,
552
00:40:54,098 --> 00:40:56,089
pathetic attempt to leave home.
553
00:40:57,635 --> 00:40:59,569
You have your underwear
yanked up your ass.
554
00:40:59,637 --> 00:41:02,731
I have my entire life
yanked up my ass!
555
00:41:03,808 --> 00:41:06,777
You were speaking figuratively.
I was speaking literally.
556
00:41:06,844 --> 00:41:10,371
And you're happy.
You're happy.
557
00:41:10,448 --> 00:41:11,745
I'm not happy.
558
00:41:11,816 --> 00:41:15,411
I'm working nights.
Everybody thinks I'm a liar.
559
00:41:15,486 --> 00:41:17,818
My whole family's
laughing at me.
560
00:41:17,889 --> 00:41:20,722
Reverend Harwell gave me
the finger last week.
561
00:41:20,791 --> 00:41:22,952
At least you have
some control over your life.
562
00:41:23,027 --> 00:41:25,461
- So do you.
- My father controls my life.
563
00:41:25,530 --> 00:41:29,466
You're over 18.
You can tell him to drop dead.
564
00:41:29,534 --> 00:41:32,901
- So can you.
- I don't want to.
565
00:41:32,970 --> 00:41:35,598
I like living at home.
566
00:41:35,673 --> 00:41:39,234
- No, you don't.
- Am I a garden snail?
567
00:41:40,745 --> 00:41:42,679
An involuntary muscle
in a janitor suit?
568
00:41:42,747 --> 00:41:44,840
I know what I want to do.
569
00:41:44,916 --> 00:41:46,884
What could
you possibly like...
570
00:41:46,951 --> 00:41:48,919
about living at
home at your age?
571
00:41:48,986 --> 00:41:52,888
The meals are great.
I mean, there's cable.
572
00:41:55,393 --> 00:41:58,226
The accommodations
are excellent, five-star.
573
00:41:58,296 --> 00:42:00,230
What do you care if
I'm living at home or not?
574
00:42:01,699 --> 00:42:04,293
Hey, I didn't come here
to irritate you.
575
00:42:04,368 --> 00:42:06,962
Well, you're beginning to.
576
00:42:08,839 --> 00:42:11,740
Great.
That's really great.
577
00:42:11,809 --> 00:42:14,845
I gotta stop saying
those kinds of things.
578
00:42:14,979 --> 00:42:18,176
Those freakin' kids!
I knew I couldn't trust 'em.
579
00:42:18,248 --> 00:42:21,115
Town liar.
That's a nice rep.
580
00:42:21,185 --> 00:42:23,312
I bet it was Gregory,
that little weasel.
581
00:42:23,387 --> 00:42:26,550
Top secret, and they still
shoot off their mouths!
582
00:42:26,624 --> 00:42:28,751
If I'd really been
a French spy,
583
00:42:28,826 --> 00:42:31,260
those little tots
would've gotten me killed!
584
00:42:31,328 --> 00:42:34,593
Piano wire wrapped around my neck.
My testicles shoved down my throat.
585
00:42:34,665 --> 00:42:37,657
A piece of dynamite
stuck up my ass!
586
00:42:42,706 --> 00:42:45,140
She's so beautiful.
587
00:42:46,543 --> 00:42:48,909
And I'm the town liar.
588
00:42:52,383 --> 00:42:56,251
# Sha-la-la-la-la
La-la-la #
589
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,255
# Sha-la-la-la-la
La-la-la #
590
00:43:00,658 --> 00:43:04,492
# Sha-la-la-la-la
La-la-la #
591
00:43:04,561 --> 00:43:07,997
# Sha-la-la-la-la
La-la-la #
592
00:43:08,065 --> 00:43:12,661
# Shiny boat through
the open doorway #
593
00:43:15,639 --> 00:43:20,440
# Fell in love
on a summer day #
594
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:27,574
# You're only young once
but that's all right #
595
00:43:30,254 --> 00:43:36,284
# Because it's just
so good to be alive #
596
00:43:38,262 --> 00:43:41,663
# Take away your troubles
Take them out the door #
597
00:43:41,732 --> 00:43:47,534
# Ohh, nothing on my mind
except my new love #
598
00:43:50,574 --> 00:43:55,102
# Nothing on my mind
except my new love #
599
00:43:57,848 --> 00:44:00,840
# Sha-la-la-la-la
La-la-la #
600
00:44:00,918 --> 00:44:05,150
# Sha-la-la-la-la
La-la-la ##
601
00:44:05,222 --> 00:44:07,816
[Music Stops]
602
00:44:31,648 --> 00:44:35,607
[P.A. System] Jim, there's
no reason to lie right now.
603
00:44:35,686 --> 00:44:38,621
There's no one to impress.
604
00:44:38,689 --> 00:44:42,181
I'm not impressed by a man
telling me he likes living at home.
605
00:44:42,259 --> 00:44:45,626
Excuse me, I'm not lying,
606
00:44:45,696 --> 00:44:47,630
and I'm not trying
to impress you.
607
00:44:47,698 --> 00:44:49,825
So if you'll excuse me,
608
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:52,892
I have to clean dead flies
out of the lighting fixtures.
609
00:44:52,970 --> 00:44:55,837
Okay, my error.
I apologize.
610
00:44:55,906 --> 00:44:59,398
It's just that I
can't imagine a man...
611
00:44:59,476 --> 00:45:03,469
giving up his independence,
his right to mate,
612
00:45:03,547 --> 00:45:05,572
to have a family,
613
00:45:05,649 --> 00:45:10,211
to build a life for himself,
for good cooking.
614
00:45:10,287 --> 00:45:11,618
Hold on.
615
00:45:11,688 --> 00:45:14,418
I have not given
up my right to mate.
616
00:45:14,491 --> 00:45:16,925
I have the right to mate...
617
00:45:16,994 --> 00:45:19,963
anytime I feel like mating.
618
00:45:20,030 --> 00:45:22,021
You go out with someone.
619
00:45:22,099 --> 00:45:26,001
You bring her home.
You introduce her to...
620
00:45:26,069 --> 00:45:29,766
Mom, Dad, Sis, Billy,
621
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:31,398
Wolfie the dog.
622
00:45:31,475 --> 00:45:35,878
Cocktails in the rumpus room,
and then do it on the bunk bed?
623
00:45:37,948 --> 00:45:40,178
Let's analyze that remark.
624
00:45:40,250 --> 00:45:41,581
I don't have a dog,
625
00:45:41,652 --> 00:45:43,916
my brother's
not named Billy,
626
00:45:43,987 --> 00:45:46,455
and I don't even
have a rumpus room.
627
00:45:46,523 --> 00:45:48,548
You know what I mean.
628
00:45:53,730 --> 00:45:56,927
Yeah, I know what you mean.
629
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,163
Spit on me,
make me feel lousy.
630
00:46:05,275 --> 00:46:06,742
Jim?
631
00:46:08,312 --> 00:46:10,746
You said something
that wasn't true.
632
00:46:11,915 --> 00:46:13,576
No.
633
00:46:13,650 --> 00:46:19,589
No, I said that I can
have sex when I want to, and I do.
634
00:46:20,591 --> 00:46:22,616
However, I was
looking forward...
635
00:46:22,693 --> 00:46:25,787
to a nice, quiet evening
of janitoring.
636
00:46:25,863 --> 00:46:29,230
I don't think you see
what I'm getting at.
637
00:46:29,299 --> 00:46:31,233
I see what you're getting at.
638
00:46:31,301 --> 00:46:34,634
I'm a lying monk with an Oedipus complex
and an appetite for home cooking.
639
00:46:34,705 --> 00:46:36,900
Don't forget,
you're the indecisive shoplifter.
640
00:46:36,974 --> 00:46:38,498
Yes! Exactly.
641
00:46:38,575 --> 00:46:41,510
I would do anything
to be in your shoes.
642
00:46:41,578 --> 00:46:43,978
These are Darnell's shoes.
643
00:46:44,047 --> 00:46:47,744
You have freedom,
and you're not using it.
644
00:46:47,818 --> 00:46:49,843
It makes me sad.
645
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:53,617
You have the wealth of the entire town,
and you're trying to get arrested.
646
00:46:53,690 --> 00:46:57,683
- That makes me sad.
- That makes me sad, too.
647
00:46:57,761 --> 00:47:01,026
- That's pretty stupid.
- It's very stupid.
648
00:47:01,098 --> 00:47:03,032
Are you serious?
649
00:47:03,100 --> 00:47:05,500
I mean, you haven't
been drinking?
650
00:47:05,569 --> 00:47:07,867
This isn't
the bottle talking?
651
00:47:07,938 --> 00:47:09,997
No.
652
00:47:10,073 --> 00:47:13,338
Then why don't you
just talk to the guy?
653
00:47:15,112 --> 00:47:17,979
For the same reason that
you can't leave home,
654
00:47:18,048 --> 00:47:21,506
I can't tell my father
to go to hell.
655
00:47:21,585 --> 00:47:23,519
Why not?
656
00:47:25,722 --> 00:47:29,453
Because I don't
want to be alone.
657
00:47:56,386 --> 00:47:59,355
Mr. McClellan?
658
00:47:59,423 --> 00:48:03,621
You ever have any family problems,
you and your daughter?
659
00:48:03,694 --> 00:48:07,130
What the hell
do you think this is?
660
00:48:07,197 --> 00:48:09,131
You got a point.
661
00:48:14,338 --> 00:48:17,102
Would you go
with me somewhere?
662
00:48:19,076 --> 00:48:21,306
- Where?
- Florida?
663
00:48:21,378 --> 00:48:23,938
Wyoming? Spain?
664
00:48:24,014 --> 00:48:26,710
It doesn't really matter,
just away somewhere.
665
00:48:27,684 --> 00:48:28,946
I'd love to.
666
00:48:30,020 --> 00:48:32,511
I just can't afford to be...
667
00:48:32,589 --> 00:48:35,217
capricious and carefree
like yourself.
668
00:48:35,292 --> 00:48:38,819
I've gotta set my sights on
something, and really go for it.
669
00:48:39,496 --> 00:48:42,693
- Night janitor?
- It's a beginning.
670
00:48:42,766 --> 00:48:45,166
- I-I'm lookin' at...
- It's an end.
671
00:48:48,105 --> 00:48:50,596
Maybe if you had
a destination in mind,
672
00:48:50,674 --> 00:48:53,404
that would make all the
difference in the world.
673
00:48:53,477 --> 00:48:56,708
- Why?
- Well, uh,
674
00:48:56,780 --> 00:49:00,716
I'm just not built to
aimlessly roam the world.
675
00:49:00,784 --> 00:49:03,150
I'm too conservative for that.
676
00:49:04,554 --> 00:49:08,547
Well, I was thinking
about Los Angeles.
677
00:49:08,625 --> 00:49:11,719
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
678
00:49:11,795 --> 00:49:15,788
- What for?
- Live, work.
679
00:49:15,866 --> 00:49:18,357
- At what?
- Whatever.
680
00:49:18,435 --> 00:49:21,529
And what about
your father?
681
00:49:21,605 --> 00:49:23,869
When I don't die,
682
00:49:23,940 --> 00:49:27,000
he'll realize I can
make it on my own.
683
00:49:27,077 --> 00:49:30,747
If I do, he'll have the satisfaction
of knowing that I can't.
684
00:49:30,881 --> 00:49:33,941
If he brings me back,
or if I go back on my own,
685
00:49:34,017 --> 00:49:36,451
he's just gonna beat
the shit out of me.
686
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:39,819
- So it doesn't make a difference.
- Literally?
687
00:49:42,692 --> 00:49:44,159
Yeah.
688
00:49:45,695 --> 00:49:49,028
- Sad.
- Yeah, it's sad.
689
00:49:49,099 --> 00:49:52,466
Until he throws you across
the room, it's sad.
690
00:49:52,536 --> 00:49:55,630
I'm afraid to live with him,
and I'm afraid to live without...
691
00:49:55,705 --> 00:50:00,039
You didn't come to work
to hear this stuff. I'm really sorry.
692
00:50:00,110 --> 00:50:03,136
I'm gonna clean this up.
693
00:50:09,786 --> 00:50:11,777
I'm just surprised.
694
00:50:11,855 --> 00:50:14,653
I thought everything
was okay, you know.
695
00:50:14,724 --> 00:50:17,659
I figured you got a nice car,
a nice house, some money.
696
00:50:17,727 --> 00:50:21,959
- Everything's okay.
- It should be, but it's not.
697
00:50:22,032 --> 00:50:24,159
It's twisted
and it's distorted,
698
00:50:24,234 --> 00:50:28,136
and it can't be changed
and it cannot be saved.
699
00:50:34,511 --> 00:50:35,773
I'll go with you.
700
00:50:40,584 --> 00:50:42,552
Really?
701
00:50:43,787 --> 00:50:44,754
Yeah.
702
00:50:46,523 --> 00:50:48,457
We have to get a car.
703
00:50:49,859 --> 00:50:51,793
Let's get through the night, first.
704
00:50:51,861 --> 00:50:53,988
- I have money.
- How much?
705
00:50:54,064 --> 00:50:56,089
Fifty-two thousand dollars.
706
00:50:58,568 --> 00:50:59,660
On you?
707
00:51:01,738 --> 00:51:03,729
In my purse.
708
00:51:15,552 --> 00:51:19,249
Fifty-two thousand dollars. Wow.
709
00:51:19,322 --> 00:51:22,519
I've never seen
so much money in my life.
710
00:51:22,592 --> 00:51:25,026
This is more than my house cost.
711
00:51:25,395 --> 00:51:29,229
Jim, now that I'm
spending the night,
712
00:51:29,299 --> 00:51:31,267
how can I pay you back...
713
00:51:31,334 --> 00:51:33,734
for being so cold
to you in high school?
714
00:51:36,339 --> 00:51:38,739
Do you need an answer right away?
715
00:51:38,808 --> 00:51:42,744
No. Sometime before
the sun comes up.
716
00:51:46,383 --> 00:51:48,715
Well, uh,
717
00:51:48,785 --> 00:51:51,253
you're probably not
going to remember this,
718
00:51:51,321 --> 00:51:53,255
but, uh,
719
00:51:53,323 --> 00:51:55,985
there was a homecoming dance
our sophomore year.
720
00:51:56,059 --> 00:51:59,688
- Mm-hmm.
- Do you remember Mrs. Noble?
721
00:51:59,763 --> 00:52:04,462
Large, hairy gym teacher with
suspiciously cumbersome groin bulge?
722
00:52:04,534 --> 00:52:06,399
I had her for two years.
723
00:52:06,469 --> 00:52:08,403
She made everybody
switch partners...
724
00:52:08,471 --> 00:52:10,598
because the fat girls
were dancing together,
725
00:52:10,674 --> 00:52:12,835
and the doinks, myself included, were
against the wall blowing spit bubbles.
726
00:52:12,909 --> 00:52:14,274
Right.
727
00:52:14,344 --> 00:52:17,802
Well, for three-quarters...
728
00:52:17,881 --> 00:52:20,907
of one verse of a slow song,
729
00:52:20,984 --> 00:52:23,179
we danced together.
730
00:52:24,554 --> 00:52:26,044
You reeked of Stri-Dex.
731
00:52:27,057 --> 00:52:29,389
Oh, no, that was Larry Fry.
732
00:52:29,459 --> 00:52:31,825
I'm sorry.
733
00:52:31,895 --> 00:52:34,022
I don't remember.
734
00:52:35,632 --> 00:52:39,363
- You got your hair caught in my braces.
- I don't remember.
735
00:52:39,436 --> 00:52:42,564
Well, it's not important.
736
00:52:44,240 --> 00:52:47,971
I had...
Well, I had just always...
737
00:52:48,044 --> 00:52:50,638
dreamed of finishing that dance.
738
00:52:53,516 --> 00:52:54,608
Okay.
739
00:52:57,954 --> 00:53:00,548
Don't feel you have
to answer right away.
740
00:53:00,623 --> 00:53:04,616
It's just a small portion
of my life that's incomplete.
741
00:53:04,694 --> 00:53:07,288
I thought you were gonna
say something different.
742
00:53:13,603 --> 00:53:15,537
Well,
743
00:53:16,639 --> 00:53:18,869
first things first.
744
00:53:34,924 --> 00:53:38,189
# When things go wrong #
745
00:53:39,963 --> 00:53:42,955
# As they sometimes will #
746
00:53:43,032 --> 00:53:48,664
# When the road you're trodding
seems all uphill #
747
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:55,136
# When the funds are low #
748
00:53:56,212 --> 00:53:59,079
# And the debts are high #
749
00:53:59,149 --> 00:54:05,315
# And you wanna smile
but you have to sigh #
750
00:54:07,957 --> 00:54:14,863
# When care is pressing
you down a bit #
751
00:54:14,931 --> 00:54:20,767
# Rest if you must #
752
00:54:21,805 --> 00:54:24,831
# But don't you quit #
753
00:54:26,409 --> 00:54:29,640
# Oh no #
754
00:54:29,712 --> 00:54:33,409
# Don't you quit #
755
00:54:34,684 --> 00:54:37,380
# Oh no #
756
00:54:52,268 --> 00:54:56,102
# But you never can tell #
757
00:54:56,172 --> 00:55:00,472
# How close you are #
758
00:55:00,543 --> 00:55:06,914
# It may be near
when it seems so far #
759
00:55:06,983 --> 00:55:08,951
# Ooo ooo ##
760
00:55:16,326 --> 00:55:19,352
[Giggling]
761
00:55:21,798 --> 00:55:24,426
- [Laughing]
- You're ticklish there?
762
00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:26,968
[Laughing]
763
00:55:44,387 --> 00:55:46,150
Aaah!
764
00:55:48,858 --> 00:55:50,723
Ow.
765
00:55:57,901 --> 00:56:00,301
[Squeaking]
766
00:56:21,824 --> 00:56:23,758
Officer Don!
767
00:56:23,826 --> 00:56:28,786
You scared the crap out of me.
I thought it was the custodian.
768
00:56:28,865 --> 00:56:30,730
What are you doing?
769
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,203
I work here now.
770
00:56:35,138 --> 00:56:36,605
[Squeaking]
771
00:56:37,908 --> 00:56:39,375
You wanna let me in?
772
00:56:39,443 --> 00:56:43,379
I'd love to.
I don't have the keys.
773
00:56:43,447 --> 00:56:45,381
I'm locked in 'til 7 a.m.
774
00:56:45,449 --> 00:56:49,510
- What's going on?
- Have you seen Josie McClellan?
775
00:56:50,754 --> 00:56:52,119
Of course.
776
00:56:52,189 --> 00:56:57,388
Uh, dark hair,
green eyes, beautiful.
777
00:56:57,461 --> 00:56:58,860
Oh, yeah. Of course.
778
00:56:58,929 --> 00:57:02,421
- You seen her recently?
- Oh!
779
00:57:02,499 --> 00:57:05,434
Ah... I just
saw her yesterday.
780
00:57:05,502 --> 00:57:07,766
We had a cup
of java together.
781
00:57:07,838 --> 00:57:09,430
She come into the store?
782
00:57:09,506 --> 00:57:12,498
I don't know.
I only work nights.
783
00:57:12,576 --> 00:57:16,637
- Why?
- Well... she's missing.
784
00:57:16,713 --> 00:57:21,207
I was looking this side
of town for her and I come past.
785
00:57:21,284 --> 00:57:24,082
I seen that
the outside sign's on.
786
00:57:24,154 --> 00:57:28,454
- The outside sign's never on.
- Oh, yeah.
787
00:57:28,525 --> 00:57:32,962
Did you try the library?
Maybe she fell asleep reading.
788
00:57:34,331 --> 00:57:35,389
No.
789
00:57:35,465 --> 00:57:37,433
She's probably screwing somebody...
790
00:57:37,501 --> 00:57:39,969
the old man don't approve of.
791
00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:50,908
Would you know if the custodian
comes by to check up on people?
792
00:57:50,981 --> 00:57:54,075
I wouldn't think
he'd do that, Jimmy.
793
00:57:54,151 --> 00:57:56,312
I feel pretty good now.
794
00:58:05,796 --> 00:58:07,787
I'm sorry, sir.
795
00:58:07,864 --> 00:58:10,628
I had to practice
a little therapy.
796
00:58:10,700 --> 00:58:12,930
Boy's in his own world.
797
00:58:20,010 --> 00:58:21,204
# Can't believe
you've left me #
798
00:58:21,278 --> 00:58:23,075
# So know that
you've upset me #
799
00:58:23,146 --> 00:58:24,909
# You just want
to forget me #
800
00:58:24,981 --> 00:58:26,744
# Why don't you
come and get me #
801
00:58:26,817 --> 00:58:28,580
# And, boy
I really miss you #
802
00:58:28,652 --> 00:58:30,415
# And all I wanna do
is kiss you #
803
00:58:30,487 --> 00:58:32,182
# I've used up
all my tissues #
804
00:58:32,255 --> 00:58:34,052
# 'Cause it's more serious
some issues #
805
00:58:34,124 --> 00:58:35,989
# I don't even know
the reason #
806
00:58:36,059 --> 00:58:37,651
# You were playin'
and you were teasin' #
807
00:58:37,727 --> 00:58:39,490
# Didn't tell me
you were leavin' #
808
00:58:39,563 --> 00:58:41,827
# Those good looks
are deceivin' #
809
00:58:41,898 --> 00:58:45,390
# Where are you, baby
We used to have so much fun #
810
00:58:45,469 --> 00:58:47,232
# You drive me crazy #
811
00:58:47,304 --> 00:58:49,431
# Somebody tell me
where he's gone #
812
00:58:49,506 --> 00:58:52,907
# Where are you, baby
We used to have so much fun #
813
00:58:52,976 --> 00:58:55,877
# You drive me crazy #
814
00:58:55,946 --> 00:58:57,675
# You peep in
through the window #
815
00:58:57,747 --> 00:58:59,681
# This is too much
for me to handle #
816
00:58:59,749 --> 00:59:03,150
# Already caused a scandal
a disturbance like a vandal #
817
00:59:03,220 --> 00:59:05,085
# I've lost track
of all time #
818
00:59:05,155 --> 00:59:07,248
# 'Cause you're always
on my mind #
819
00:59:07,324 --> 00:59:09,656
# You're just that type of guy
that'll make me cry #
820
00:59:09,726 --> 00:59:12,217
# Oh why, oh why, oh why
Oh why has he disappeared #
821
00:59:12,295 --> 00:59:13,956
# This feeling
is really weird #
822
00:59:14,030 --> 00:59:18,467
# You're reckless and you're dear
Can you feel when I drop these tears #
823
00:59:18,535 --> 00:59:21,470
# Where are you, baby
We used to have so much fun #
824
00:59:21,538 --> 00:59:23,904
# You drive me crazy #
825
00:59:23,974 --> 00:59:25,771
# Somebody tell me
where he's gone #
826
00:59:25,842 --> 00:59:29,141
# Where are you, baby
We used to have so much fun #
827
00:59:29,212 --> 00:59:31,544
# You drive me crazy #
828
00:59:54,871 --> 00:59:58,671
# Where are you, baby
We used to have so much fun ##
829
01:00:04,314 --> 01:00:06,282
Aaah!
830
01:00:45,355 --> 01:00:47,482
Why don't we get
underneath the bench?
831
01:00:50,794 --> 01:00:53,388
Do you want to get on top?
832
01:01:00,604 --> 01:01:02,469
You check the office.
I'll scope the dressing rooms.
833
01:01:02,539 --> 01:01:04,166
Right.
834
01:01:12,782 --> 01:01:15,444
You're on top.
835
01:01:16,553 --> 01:01:19,078
- Did you want to be on top?
- Oh, no.
836
01:01:19,155 --> 01:01:21,851
I'm fine where I am.
837
01:01:21,925 --> 01:01:23,859
Sure.
838
01:01:56,860 --> 01:01:59,920
[Whispering]
Ow, ow, ow.
839
01:02:02,165 --> 01:02:05,532
I think he went
to the back.
840
01:02:16,179 --> 01:02:18,170
- [Gasp]
- Evening.
841
01:02:21,985 --> 01:02:23,976
Nice.
842
01:02:24,054 --> 01:02:25,988
Excellent.
843
01:02:26,056 --> 01:02:30,459
Hey, you got a tattoo?
844
01:02:31,494 --> 01:02:32,518
No, sir.
845
01:02:32,595 --> 01:02:36,087
- Not you, asshole!
- I'm a missing person.
846
01:02:36,166 --> 01:02:38,794
The whole town
is looking for me.
847
01:02:38,868 --> 01:02:41,359
- You hidin' out?
- Yes.
848
01:02:41,438 --> 01:02:44,498
I'd appreciate it
if you'd let us sit up.
849
01:02:44,574 --> 01:02:48,601
- What about the tattoo?
- I don't have one.
850
01:02:48,678 --> 01:02:51,875
- You owe me a buck.
- Actually, it's up to two.
851
01:02:51,948 --> 01:02:54,473
I borrowed that one
off you at Burger King.
852
01:02:54,551 --> 01:02:56,746
Excuse me!
853
01:02:57,887 --> 01:03:00,048
Are you planning to shoot us
in the back of the head?
854
01:03:00,123 --> 01:03:03,786
We haven't decided yet,
have we?
855
01:03:03,860 --> 01:03:05,953
Who are you?
856
01:03:06,029 --> 01:03:09,021
Ah... you don't
want to know.
857
01:03:09,099 --> 01:03:11,465
Wouldn't have asked if
he didn't want to know!
858
01:03:11,534 --> 01:03:15,265
- He's a little crazy. He's my brother.
- That's not true.
859
01:03:15,338 --> 01:03:17,431
She doesn't even know me.
860
01:03:17,507 --> 01:03:20,601
- Somebody better start
talking straight here.
- That's the truth.
861
01:03:20,677 --> 01:03:22,736
Okay.
862
01:03:23,646 --> 01:03:25,705
You want to know?
863
01:03:27,283 --> 01:03:28,250
Mm-hmm.
864
01:03:28,318 --> 01:03:31,219
Okay, good. But...
865
01:03:32,655 --> 01:03:33,781
come on over here.
866
01:03:35,191 --> 01:03:37,960
- What?
- Come on over.
867
01:03:38,094 --> 01:03:39,561
Come on over here!
868
01:03:39,628 --> 01:03:41,596
Over here.
869
01:03:58,047 --> 01:03:59,981
Come on down here.
870
01:04:02,752 --> 01:04:04,686
That's right.
Down here!
871
01:04:07,323 --> 01:04:09,120
Okay.
872
01:04:10,192 --> 01:04:13,355
You dumb sons of bitches!
873
01:04:13,429 --> 01:04:16,626
Do you realize
that you have just walked...
874
01:04:16,699 --> 01:04:20,157
straight into a $60-million
drug transaction?
875
01:04:23,172 --> 01:04:27,609
You're running this multi-zillion-dollar
drug transaction by yourself?
876
01:04:27,676 --> 01:04:31,840
- Little Target boy?
- No.
877
01:04:31,914 --> 01:04:34,382
No, I'm not
doing it by myself.
878
01:04:34,450 --> 01:04:36,509
Oh, no, no.
879
01:04:36,585 --> 01:04:39,520
As a matter of fact,
880
01:04:39,588 --> 01:04:42,022
in about 10 minutes...
881
01:04:42,091 --> 01:04:44,787
this place is gonna
be alive with the meanest,
882
01:04:44,860 --> 01:04:49,229
ugliest, most impatient animals
you guys have ever seen.
883
01:04:49,298 --> 01:04:52,631
I'll give you five minutes
to take...
884
01:04:52,701 --> 01:04:54,931
whatever you want
in the whole store.
885
01:04:55,004 --> 01:04:57,404
I won't tell.
Take your guns and go.
886
01:04:58,774 --> 01:05:00,139
Okay, then,
who's the girl?
887
01:05:02,478 --> 01:05:06,107
- I'm his hostage.
- Yes. Yes. Yes.
888
01:05:06,182 --> 01:05:09,174
Is that true?
Hmm?
889
01:05:09,251 --> 01:05:12,118
Yes!
Yes, it's true.
890
01:05:12,188 --> 01:05:14,179
And, um...
891
01:05:17,059 --> 01:05:21,155
if the deal doesn't go down,
she becomes pig feed.
892
01:05:21,230 --> 01:05:22,356
Bullshit.
893
01:05:22,431 --> 01:05:24,592
Oh, really?
894
01:05:27,403 --> 01:05:30,531
- Well, blow her away.
- That's bullshit!
895
01:05:32,041 --> 01:05:34,532
Okay.
896
01:05:34,610 --> 01:05:38,637
Then give me your guns
and I'll do it for you.
897
01:05:38,714 --> 01:05:40,443
It's bullshit, right?
898
01:05:41,350 --> 01:05:43,375
We'll see.
899
01:05:46,155 --> 01:05:47,247
Roll over.
900
01:05:47,323 --> 01:05:49,257
- You heard him.
- What?
901
01:05:49,325 --> 01:05:51,384
Roll over!
You too, honey.
902
01:05:51,460 --> 01:05:53,758
You heard me.
Roll over. Do it!
903
01:05:53,829 --> 01:05:56,662
Come on, come on!
Roll! That's it.
904
01:05:56,732 --> 01:06:00,259
- Very good.
- Mmm! Yeah.
905
01:06:00,336 --> 01:06:03,737
Um... give me the guns!
906
01:06:04,707 --> 01:06:06,971
No way, man.
Uh-uh.
907
01:06:07,042 --> 01:06:08,270
Fine.
908
01:06:08,344 --> 01:06:12,246
You do it.
I don't need her anymore.
909
01:06:12,314 --> 01:06:15,249
- I only needed her
to get through customs.
- I don't like this.
910
01:06:15,317 --> 01:06:17,342
This sucks.
It's not worth it.
911
01:06:17,419 --> 01:06:21,412
- We don't have time. Do it!
- All right.
912
01:06:23,893 --> 01:06:25,656
It's nothing personal.
913
01:06:25,794 --> 01:06:28,388
- Jim!
- Too late. They're here!
914
01:06:28,464 --> 01:06:30,557
It's too late.
They're here.
915
01:06:30,633 --> 01:06:33,966
- Men, hold your fire.
- [Radio Chatter]
916
01:06:34,036 --> 01:06:37,472
Ned, Tommy,
hold your fire.
917
01:06:37,539 --> 01:06:40,702
There are infrared scopes
trained on your heads.
918
01:06:40,776 --> 01:06:44,803
- We didn't want this!
- It's the girl you want, not us!
919
01:06:44,880 --> 01:06:47,906
Ned, we got a WD-40.
That's right, a full-scale PMS.
920
01:06:47,983 --> 01:06:50,417
Okay, everybody just relax!
921
01:06:50,486 --> 01:06:53,922
Everybody, just relax!
The place is gonna blow.
922
01:06:53,989 --> 01:06:57,220
Just relax.
Now, put down your guns.
923
01:06:57,293 --> 01:07:00,421
They're putting down the guns.
Are you putting them down?
924
01:07:00,496 --> 01:07:03,329
Get down 'cause
lives are at stake.
925
01:07:03,399 --> 01:07:06,766
Let go. Now get back.
926
01:07:06,835 --> 01:07:10,236
Get back. Spread 'em.
Spread the legs. Put down the dogs.
927
01:07:10,306 --> 01:07:12,536
Okay, put the dogs down.
928
01:07:12,608 --> 01:07:14,200
Both of 'em!
929
01:07:14,276 --> 01:07:16,767
Put the dogs down!
Down!
930
01:07:16,845 --> 01:07:20,941
- That was great!
- I got a surprise for you guys.
931
01:07:21,016 --> 01:07:24,281
[Gil] We have a bit
of a surprise for you.
932
01:07:25,688 --> 01:07:26,985
Them guns aren't loaded.
933
01:07:37,967 --> 01:07:41,562
I got an idea.
How about a truce?
934
01:07:41,637 --> 01:07:44,606
I'm full of shit.
You're full of shit.
935
01:07:44,673 --> 01:07:47,107
Everybody at one time
is full of shit.
936
01:07:47,176 --> 01:07:50,771
I'll throw on some corn dogs
and we'll get to know each other.
937
01:07:50,846 --> 01:07:53,508
I'd like to know what
goes on inside your heads.
938
01:07:53,582 --> 01:07:56,415
- Okay, you had the big one...
- No.
939
01:07:56,485 --> 01:08:00,319
Sorry. I could've sworn
you had the big one.
940
01:08:00,389 --> 01:08:01,879
Ha!
941
01:08:02,825 --> 01:08:04,816
I lied.
942
01:08:09,331 --> 01:08:12,596
These are the men that
killed that guy in Saltburg.
943
01:08:12,668 --> 01:08:16,104
I'm fairly sure
that we're gonna die.
944
01:08:16,171 --> 01:08:19,106
I'm disappointed we're not
going to California together.
945
01:08:19,174 --> 01:08:22,041
We're not dead yet.
946
01:08:22,111 --> 01:08:24,909
Pretty darn close.
947
01:08:24,980 --> 01:08:27,608
If I can get them
to take me with them,
948
01:08:27,683 --> 01:08:30,550
maybe I can get away
and come back for you.
949
01:08:30,619 --> 01:08:34,077
We need a car and
they obviously have one.
950
01:08:34,156 --> 01:08:36,056
Just...
951
01:08:36,125 --> 01:08:38,593
- go along with whatever I do.
- Okay.
952
01:08:50,739 --> 01:08:52,969
So, what's the word
on you two?
953
01:08:53,042 --> 01:08:56,773
Are you married?
Obviously...
954
01:08:56,845 --> 01:08:59,905
you're hack crooks if you can't
pull off a discount store job.
955
01:09:02,317 --> 01:09:04,877
What were you planning
to steal? Hair spray?
956
01:09:04,953 --> 01:09:07,080
[Chuckle]
957
01:09:09,224 --> 01:09:10,213
Sorry.
958
01:09:14,430 --> 01:09:15,727
Lady, you got a job?
959
01:09:17,332 --> 01:09:18,993
No.
960
01:09:19,068 --> 01:09:20,899
Then don't knock ours.
961
01:09:21,770 --> 01:09:24,830
Crime isn't a job.
It's a sickness.
962
01:09:28,744 --> 01:09:32,510
Whoops. Anyone
have some change?
963
01:09:34,216 --> 01:09:36,707
[Coins Spilling]
964
01:09:43,959 --> 01:09:46,792
You look like a lady
in need of a quarter.
965
01:09:46,862 --> 01:09:49,456
I might need more
than just a quarter.
966
01:09:52,401 --> 01:09:54,835
- You know...
- No.
967
01:09:54,903 --> 01:09:56,894
You and I could make
a lot of money.
968
01:09:56,972 --> 01:09:59,736
Honey, me and Nestor are partners.
969
01:09:59,808 --> 01:10:04,006
- We don't need a third.
- You don't know, so shut up.
970
01:10:07,983 --> 01:10:10,349
Hop on.
971
01:10:26,268 --> 01:10:30,068
Now.
Let's go now.
972
01:10:31,907 --> 01:10:33,397
[Nestor]
Know what you are?
973
01:10:33,475 --> 01:10:34,908
Yeah.
974
01:10:34,977 --> 01:10:37,571
You are one good-looking
ball of trouble.
975
01:10:39,982 --> 01:10:41,176
Good.
976
01:10:52,695 --> 01:10:56,324
# Ya-ya-ya-ya
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya #
977
01:10:57,900 --> 01:11:02,132
# Ya-ya-ya-ya
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya #
978
01:11:05,841 --> 01:11:07,900
# Go #
979
01:11:18,554 --> 01:11:20,613
What do you think,
for the car?
980
01:11:20,689 --> 01:11:24,455
- This one?
- The whole thing. We'll lay it in back.
981
01:11:24,526 --> 01:11:26,926
We got multi-cassette
capabilities.
982
01:11:26,995 --> 01:11:28,792
Think of the sound!
983
01:11:28,864 --> 01:11:32,231
# Ya-ya-ya-ya
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya #
984
01:11:34,036 --> 01:11:38,029
# Ya-ya-ya-ya
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya #
985
01:11:39,575 --> 01:11:43,477
# Ya-ya-ya-ya
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya #
986
01:11:44,680 --> 01:11:49,242
# Ya-ya-ya-ya
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya #
987
01:11:50,686 --> 01:11:54,383
# Ya-ya-ya-ya
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya #
988
01:11:55,591 --> 01:11:59,118
[Jim] I'm not helping you
load your car.
989
01:11:59,194 --> 01:12:00,627
Think again, boy.
990
01:12:00,696 --> 01:12:03,688
You're not taking the
stolen merchandise out.
991
01:12:03,766 --> 01:12:06,030
- I'm not gonna let you.
- Get out.
992
01:12:06,101 --> 01:12:08,194
It's stolen.
All of it!
993
01:12:08,270 --> 01:12:10,204
- Gimme that!
- No!
994
01:12:10,272 --> 01:12:12,604
- Give it to me!
- It's mine!
995
01:12:16,745 --> 01:12:18,770
But where...
996
01:12:18,847 --> 01:12:21,315
Wait a minute.
997
01:12:23,085 --> 01:12:26,680
- You're not going with them?
- Yeah.
998
01:12:26,755 --> 01:12:29,952
You'll be an accessory.
999
01:12:30,025 --> 01:12:33,927
- So?
- You don't know anything about them.
1000
01:12:33,996 --> 01:12:36,294
You certainly don't know
anything about him!
1001
01:12:36,365 --> 01:12:38,833
These are hardened
criminals here!
1002
01:12:38,901 --> 01:12:41,301
That's enough!
1003
01:12:42,504 --> 01:12:45,234
Don't waste your time.
You could get a hernia.
1004
01:12:45,307 --> 01:12:47,901
If my foot could talk,
1005
01:12:47,976 --> 01:12:51,139
it'd say, "May I please
go up this geek's ass?"
1006
01:12:51,213 --> 01:12:53,443
- Forget him!
- All right.
1007
01:12:53,515 --> 01:12:56,678
He's no use to us.
He's built like an oyster.
1008
01:12:56,752 --> 01:12:58,151
Listen.
1009
01:13:00,522 --> 01:13:02,752
If you tell on us,
1010
01:13:02,825 --> 01:13:04,918
I'll kill you.
1011
01:13:09,598 --> 01:13:11,532
Fine.
1012
01:13:15,938 --> 01:13:18,338
Jim?
1013
01:13:26,648 --> 01:13:28,240
Don't be an ass.
1014
01:13:30,919 --> 01:13:32,853
Okay, Jimbo?
1015
01:13:35,657 --> 01:13:37,682
Let's go, shall we?
1016
01:13:58,714 --> 01:14:00,705
[Door Closes]
1017
01:14:04,653 --> 01:14:07,121
[Gil]
Ahem.
1018
01:14:07,189 --> 01:14:08,713
C'mon, come on!
1019
01:14:23,438 --> 01:14:26,305
[Grunting]
1020
01:14:26,375 --> 01:14:28,309
You got it?
1021
01:14:28,377 --> 01:14:30,470
I got 'em, I got 'em.
1022
01:14:37,853 --> 01:14:39,445
[Gunshots]
1023
01:15:53,161 --> 01:15:55,925
[Jim Over P.A. System]
That wasn't a store robbery.
1024
01:15:55,998 --> 01:15:58,228
That was an assassination.
1025
01:15:58,300 --> 01:16:01,098
That wasn't a clerk.
That was a wise guy.
1026
01:16:01,169 --> 01:16:04,570
How do I know?
I spent a little time...
1027
01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:06,699
with the FBI's
organized crime unit.
1028
01:16:06,775 --> 01:16:09,539
I'm intimately knowledgeable
with the seedy...
1029
01:16:09,611 --> 01:16:12,273
workings of the Mob in the
midwest section of this country.
1030
01:16:13,315 --> 01:16:15,715
I know a gangland slaying
when I see one,
1031
01:16:15,784 --> 01:16:19,584
and that's exactly
what this baby is.
1032
01:16:19,655 --> 01:16:22,283
I'd look into it
myself personally,
1033
01:16:22,357 --> 01:16:24,723
but I got a date tonight.
1034
01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:34,230
Attention, Target shoppers.
1035
01:16:38,874 --> 01:16:43,038
[Shotgun Blasts]
1036
01:17:21,950 --> 01:17:24,248
Jim?
1037
01:18:18,340 --> 01:18:20,774
He is so cool!
1038
01:19:03,651 --> 01:19:06,745
# Got my ray-bans on
every day and night #
1039
01:19:06,820 --> 01:19:10,187
# Got a one-track mind
that I wanna hide #
1040
01:19:10,257 --> 01:19:13,556
# Got an easy job
that I try to keep #
1041
01:19:13,627 --> 01:19:16,960
# Got a bunch of girls
and I got 'em cheap #
1042
01:19:17,031 --> 01:19:20,398
# Got a million things
that I wanna do #
1043
01:19:20,467 --> 01:19:24,494
# But I waste my time
hangin' out with you #
1044
01:19:24,572 --> 01:19:28,008
# It's not because
I'm really easy to please #
1045
01:19:28,075 --> 01:19:31,374
# It's not the way you
bring me down on my knees #
1046
01:19:31,445 --> 01:19:34,414
# It's just a feeling
but it keeps coming back #
1047
01:19:34,481 --> 01:19:36,813
# It's a tiny little
heart attack #
1048
01:19:41,222 --> 01:19:44,248
# Got a big guitar
lookin' dynamite #
1049
01:19:44,325 --> 01:19:47,556
# Got a Thunderbird
that I drive all night #
1050
01:19:47,628 --> 01:19:51,155
# Got a shoeshine boy
working overtime #
1051
01:19:51,232 --> 01:19:54,326
# Gotta grow up soon
but I never mind #
1052
01:19:54,401 --> 01:19:57,802
# Got a big fat guy
takin' all the blame #
1053
01:19:57,871 --> 01:20:01,932
# For the chairs I break
when you call my name #
1054
01:20:02,009 --> 01:20:05,410
# It's not because
I'm really easy to please #
1055
01:20:05,479 --> 01:20:08,778
# It's not the way you
bring me down on my knees #
1056
01:20:08,849 --> 01:20:11,579
# It's just a feeling
but it keeps coming back #
1057
01:20:11,652 --> 01:20:14,746
# It's a tiny little
heart attack #
1058
01:20:14,822 --> 01:20:18,223
# Just a tiny little
heart attack #
1059
01:20:49,323 --> 01:20:52,383
# Got a snakeskin suit
that I really like #
1060
01:20:52,459 --> 01:20:55,724
# Lookin' like the devil
on a Friday night #
1061
01:20:55,796 --> 01:20:59,129
# Got a shark outside
in the swimming pool #
1062
01:20:59,199 --> 01:21:02,566
# But there won't be trouble
if you're stayin' cool #
1063
01:21:02,636 --> 01:21:05,969
# Got my mind made up
that I'm leavin' you #
1064
01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:10,204
# But it won't be easy
No, it won't be true #
1065
01:21:40,274 --> 01:21:43,573
# Got a snakeskin suit
that I really like #
1066
01:21:43,644 --> 01:21:46,772
# Lookin' like the devil
on a Friday night #
1067
01:21:46,847 --> 01:21:50,374
# Got a shark outside
in the swimming pool #
1068
01:21:50,451 --> 01:21:53,716
# But there won't be trouble
if you're stayin' cool #
1069
01:21:53,787 --> 01:21:57,086
# Got my mind made up
that I'm leavin' you #
1070
01:21:57,157 --> 01:22:01,287
# But it won't be easy
No, it won't be true #
1071
01:22:01,362 --> 01:22:04,661
# I'll never make it
through a Saturday night #
1072
01:22:04,732 --> 01:22:08,065
# I'll never make
another move in the lights #
1073
01:22:08,135 --> 01:22:10,865
# 'Cause if I see you and
you're lookin' like that #
1074
01:22:10,938 --> 01:22:14,897
# I'll get a tiny little
heart attack #
1075
01:22:14,975 --> 01:22:18,376
# It's not because
I'm really easy to please #
1076
01:22:18,445 --> 01:22:21,710
# It's not the way you
bring me down on my knees #
1077
01:22:21,782 --> 01:22:24,546
# It's just a feeling
but it keeps coming back #
1078
01:22:24,618 --> 01:22:27,746
# It's a tiny little
heart attack #
1079
01:22:27,821 --> 01:22:31,154
# Give me a tiny little
heart attack #
1080
01:22:31,225 --> 01:22:34,194
# Give me a tiny little
heart attack #
1081
01:22:34,261 --> 01:22:37,958
# I want a tiny little
heart attack #
1082
01:22:38,031 --> 01:22:41,159
# Give me a tiny little
heart attack #
1083
01:22:41,235 --> 01:22:45,569
# I want a tiny little
heart attack ##
80258
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