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1
00:00:01,345 --> 00:00:03,113
(indistinct conversations)
2
00:00:03,146 --> 00:00:05,317
3
00:00:08,820 --> 00:00:10,632
Two, inside or out.
4
00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:12,530
Sunday Funday
5
00:00:12,565 --> 00:00:14,125
Better than a Monday...
6
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,493
No! No!
7
00:00:15,526 --> 00:00:16,161
No!
8
00:00:16,194 --> 00:00:17,762
Absolutely not!
9
00:00:17,794 --> 00:00:18,838
How dare you?
10
00:00:18,873 --> 00:00:21,082
Ambushing me with
this nonsense again!
11
00:00:21,117 --> 00:00:24,169
Do I look like I'm in the mood
for Sunday Funday?
12
00:00:24,201 --> 00:00:25,803
Okay, bye.
13
00:00:25,836 --> 00:00:27,488
Oh, no, wait!
14
00:00:27,523 --> 00:00:29,022
Please.
15
00:00:29,057 --> 00:00:30,368
Dorothy's
joining us later,
16
00:00:30,403 --> 00:00:33,645
and it's just really important
she feel accepted.
17
00:00:33,677 --> 00:00:34,720
It-it-it...
18
00:00:34,755 --> 00:00:37,625
it would mean a lot
to Lindsay, too.
19
00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:38,309
She's living
20
00:00:38,344 --> 00:00:41,050
in Vernon's man cave.
21
00:00:45,022 --> 00:00:47,325
Oh, goddamn it.
22
00:00:49,188 --> 00:00:50,690
Fine.
23
00:00:54,398 --> 00:00:57,081
Good job.
24
00:00:57,116 --> 00:00:59,902
For a second I thought
you forgot this was a set-up.
25
00:01:00,737 --> 00:01:02,973
We'll give Gretchen
a fun Halloween day.
26
00:01:03,008 --> 00:01:04,704
She'll drink.
We'll do my list...
27
00:01:04,739 --> 00:01:06,239
Yeah, uh, your list is weird.
28
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:07,178
That's the point.
29
00:01:07,211 --> 00:01:08,341
I tailored the activities
30
00:01:08,376 --> 00:01:11,453
for Gretchen's perverted
and morbid tastes.
31
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,925
You just need to pretend
you wrote the list.
32
00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:17,443
There's no way
she'll be able to remain sad
33
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,288
after a day like this.
34
00:01:19,323 --> 00:01:20,759
(chuckles)
35
00:01:22,592 --> 00:01:23,895
A toast.
36
00:01:23,928 --> 00:01:25,429
To the best day of the week.
37
00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:27,506
On the best day
of the year!
38
00:01:27,541 --> 00:01:29,915
Spooky Sunday Funday.
39
00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:31,622
- Ooh.
- (chuckles)
40
00:01:31,657 --> 00:01:34,626
(spooky accent):
Sunday Funday
41
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:36,785
Better than a Monday
42
00:01:36,820 --> 00:01:39,282
Can only do it one way
43
00:01:39,317 --> 00:01:41,482
And that is the drunk way
44
00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:43,419
Sunday Funday
45
00:01:43,454 --> 00:01:45,082
Better than a Monday
46
00:01:45,115 --> 00:01:46,918
Can only do it one way
47
00:01:46,953 --> 00:01:48,954
And that is the drunk way!
48
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,940
I'm gonna leave you anyway
49
00:01:56,975 --> 00:01:59,401
I'm gonna leave you
anyway
50
00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:01,933
Gonna leave you anyway.
51
00:02:01,968 --> 00:02:06,968
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
52
00:02:14,945 --> 00:02:16,213
Costumes?
53
00:02:16,247 --> 00:02:19,191
God. Seriously?
54
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,192
Well, we have to wear costumes,
Gretchen.
55
00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:23,995
It's, uh, on the list.
56
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:29,884
Oh, sorry, sir.
57
00:02:32,997 --> 00:02:34,065
Paul?
58
00:02:34,098 --> 00:02:35,630
(beeping)
59
00:02:35,665 --> 00:02:36,934
Paul?
60
00:02:36,968 --> 00:02:38,125
COMPUTER VOICE:
Hello.
61
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,617
Nine to sell you.
62
00:02:39,652 --> 00:02:41,623
Oh, no, dang it.
63
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,387
Nice to send yogurt.
64
00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:47,749
I'm still working out the kinks
on this thing.
65
00:02:47,784 --> 00:02:49,672
Why are you in a wheelchair?
66
00:02:49,707 --> 00:02:51,058
Did Amy do this to you?
67
00:02:51,093 --> 00:02:52,581
I'm Stephen Hawking.
68
00:02:52,616 --> 00:02:54,052
The famous cosmologist.
69
00:02:54,087 --> 00:02:56,053
A crippled guy does makeup?
70
00:02:56,087 --> 00:02:57,442
(laughs)
71
00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:59,773
So, you ever
get the power turned back on?
72
00:02:59,808 --> 00:03:02,119
No. Someone abandoned me,
73
00:03:02,154 --> 00:03:03,889
so I had to move into Becca's.
74
00:03:03,924 --> 00:03:05,302
Oh, Lindsay.
75
00:03:05,337 --> 00:03:07,088
What?
76
00:03:07,123 --> 00:03:08,631
Someday you're gonna
have to learn
77
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,683
not to quit
when things gets hard.
78
00:03:10,718 --> 00:03:12,539
I'm not a quitter, Paul.
79
00:03:14,372 --> 00:03:16,107
I'm not!
80
00:03:16,140 --> 00:03:17,342
You'll see!
81
00:03:17,374 --> 00:03:20,192
COMPUTER VOICE:
I won't hole my bread.
82
00:03:20,227 --> 00:03:21,713
Dang it.
83
00:03:27,818 --> 00:03:29,064
(Jimmy laughs)
84
00:03:29,099 --> 00:03:30,582
Oh, my God.
85
00:03:30,617 --> 00:03:33,214
Edgar, look what I've
managed to toss together.
86
00:03:36,726 --> 00:03:38,768
Oh. Hey.
87
00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:41,499
Hmm?
88
00:03:42,466 --> 00:03:45,228
Heathstead from
Buckle Your Shoes!
89
00:03:45,263 --> 00:03:46,563
Never heard of it.
90
00:03:46,598 --> 00:03:47,947
It's about an assistant deacon
91
00:03:47,982 --> 00:03:49,795
who sleeps
with the constable's daughter
92
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,293
and is forced to hide out
as a ladies' shoe salesman.
93
00:03:52,328 --> 00:03:54,949
You've never heard of it?
94
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:57,243
(funny voice): These heels
are a bit small, love.
95
00:03:57,278 --> 00:04:00,552
Shall I stretch
them out for ya?
96
00:04:01,252 --> 00:04:03,587
No? Come on.
97
00:04:11,762 --> 00:04:14,272
A doctor costume for ladies?
98
00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:15,790
(scoffs) Fake.
99
00:04:15,825 --> 00:04:18,768
Ugh, I can't find anything.
100
00:04:18,803 --> 00:04:21,048
You've barely looked.
101
00:04:21,083 --> 00:04:22,390
Oh, no.
102
00:04:22,425 --> 00:04:23,831
He's right.
103
00:04:23,866 --> 00:04:25,674
Paul said I give up
on things real easy.
104
00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:26,822
I don't do that, right?
105
00:04:26,857 --> 00:04:28,728
Interior design school,
cardio barre,
106
00:04:28,763 --> 00:04:30,033
season two
of House of Cards.
107
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:31,899
You even quit
Ralph's Reward Club
108
00:04:31,934 --> 00:04:33,424
'cause you couldn't handle
the commitment.
109
00:04:33,459 --> 00:04:34,260
What, I'm going to carry
110
00:04:34,295 --> 00:04:36,106
one of those shitty
little plastic cards
111
00:04:36,141 --> 00:04:38,398
on my keychain like a poor?
112
00:04:44,962 --> 00:04:46,764
(phone chirps)
113
00:04:46,796 --> 00:04:50,704
Phone, how do I turn
on my power?
114
00:04:50,739 --> 00:04:52,832
PHONE:
Sex Goddess Lindsay 69,
115
00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:54,009
I found the phone number
116
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,925
for Los Angeles Department
of Water and Power.
117
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,864
- Would you like me to dial it for you?
- This thing never works.
118
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:00,929
(clears throat)
119
00:05:00,964 --> 00:05:02,512
Hmm?
120
00:05:02,546 --> 00:05:04,462
No idea.
121
00:05:04,497 --> 00:05:05,716
(sighs)
122
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,719
So, you found anything yet?
123
00:05:07,751 --> 00:05:09,977
I'll just wear these wings.
124
00:05:10,012 --> 00:05:13,858
You can do better than
"saddest girl at the rave."
125
00:05:13,893 --> 00:05:15,627
What about that?
126
00:05:15,659 --> 00:05:17,996
These are fine.
127
00:05:20,464 --> 00:05:22,118
How much to rent that costume?
128
00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:24,903
Uh, 400 a day plus
a thousand-dollar deposit.
129
00:05:24,938 --> 00:05:26,752
Are you insane?
130
00:05:30,702 --> 00:05:33,038
(sighs)
131
00:05:38,474 --> 00:05:39,876
I'm kind of nervous.
132
00:05:39,911 --> 00:05:42,536
You understand I'm not actually
inside your head.
133
00:05:42,571 --> 00:05:45,372
I haven't had sex
134
00:05:45,407 --> 00:05:46,717
(whispering):
in three years.
135
00:05:46,752 --> 00:05:47,992
(giggles)
136
00:05:48,025 --> 00:05:49,185
What?
137
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:50,034
Oh, my God!
138
00:05:50,069 --> 00:05:52,477
Dorothy's meeting us later and,
139
00:05:52,512 --> 00:05:54,006
well, we've gotten close...
140
00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:55,893
Yeah? How close?
141
00:05:55,928 --> 00:05:57,125
Over the bra.
142
00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:58,294
So, not close at all, then.
143
00:05:58,329 --> 00:05:59,280
Please don't tell anyone.
144
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,605
Oh, believe me,
I won't tell anyone
145
00:06:00,637 --> 00:06:02,223
you still touch girls
over the bra.
146
00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:04,092
That's too embarrassing.
147
00:06:05,943 --> 00:06:07,577
(sighs)
148
00:06:07,611 --> 00:06:10,986
20s, 50s, 100s,
hundred grand
149
00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:13,535
20s, 50s,
100s, hundred grand
150
00:06:13,570 --> 00:06:16,043
20s, 50s, 100s,
hundred grand
151
00:06:16,078 --> 00:06:18,605
Pull up to the club,
walking slowly
152
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,156
Flash-forward, next saw
this model that know me
153
00:06:21,191 --> 00:06:22,360
She was lookin'
154
00:06:22,395 --> 00:06:23,619
And I was lookin'
155
00:06:23,654 --> 00:06:24,707
And we was lookin'
156
00:06:24,742 --> 00:06:26,352
Together we like 100 grand
157
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:30,787
All so mature,
all in the mix.
158
00:06:34,414 --> 00:06:35,380
TOUR GUIDE:
All right, folks.
159
00:06:35,415 --> 00:06:37,798
On the third floor
is where, in 1954,
160
00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:39,267
former silent film star
161
00:06:39,302 --> 00:06:40,870
Poopsie Carmichael
162
00:06:40,905 --> 00:06:42,692
was killed by Nick O. Donnik,
163
00:06:42,727 --> 00:06:44,492
who went on a rampage,
killing seven
164
00:06:44,527 --> 00:06:46,212
in the building
while they slept.
165
00:06:46,247 --> 00:06:47,811
You might also recognize it
166
00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:50,961
from the opening credits
of Better Off Ted!
167
00:06:50,996 --> 00:06:53,818
So...
three years, huh?
168
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,890
Does Dorothy know?
169
00:06:55,925 --> 00:06:57,616
No, not yet.
170
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,173
I should be honest
and tell her, huh?
171
00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:01,015
- Shit no.
- (laughter)
172
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:02,650
Yeah,
I'm not getting on a plane
173
00:07:02,685 --> 00:07:06,167
if the pilot just took
three years off flying.
174
00:07:06,202 --> 00:07:08,192
Also, can you imagine
the first time?
175
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:11,078
It'd be like... (grunting)
176
00:07:11,113 --> 00:07:13,735
(imitates explosions)
177
00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:14,274
(laughter)
178
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:17,624
So, why did you put
a murder tour on your list?
179
00:07:17,659 --> 00:07:18,350
Pssht!
180
00:07:18,385 --> 00:07:20,202
I'm totally into murder.
181
00:07:20,237 --> 00:07:22,680
I love it so much,
182
00:07:22,715 --> 00:07:23,450
I became a soldier.
183
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,414
You can murder anyone you want.
184
00:07:25,449 --> 00:07:26,928
TOUR GUIDE:
And for our final stop,
185
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:28,801
we'll visit the sight
of the murder
186
00:07:28,835 --> 00:07:31,293
of one of hip-hop's
biggest stars.
187
00:07:31,328 --> 00:07:34,540
- Ooh!
- Any guesses?
188
00:07:38,643 --> 00:07:41,833
Christopher George
Latore Wallace.
189
00:07:41,868 --> 00:07:43,315
Big Poppa.
190
00:07:43,349 --> 00:07:45,185
Who shot you, Biggie?
191
00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:46,953
This is fun, right?
192
00:07:46,986 --> 00:07:48,510
Yeah.
193
00:07:48,545 --> 00:07:50,875
BIGGIE IMPERSONATOR: And then sometimes
during the service window,
194
00:07:50,910 --> 00:07:52,989
the serviceman comes out,
checks the lines,
195
00:07:53,024 --> 00:07:54,175
checks the meters,
196
00:07:54,210 --> 00:07:56,011
lights the pilot light
if need be,
197
00:07:56,046 --> 00:07:57,517
and then you're reconnected.
198
00:07:57,552 --> 00:07:59,255
Sure, but then what happens?
199
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:00,485
What's the next thing
to go wrong
200
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,602
that I won't know how to fix?
201
00:08:02,635 --> 00:08:06,373
Hey, mo' money, mo' problems.
202
00:08:08,975 --> 00:08:11,544
That'll be five dollars.
203
00:08:11,576 --> 00:08:13,269
Who shot you, Biggie?
204
00:08:13,304 --> 00:08:15,133
Oh, my God!
205
00:08:15,168 --> 00:08:17,566
T.
206
00:08:17,601 --> 00:08:19,051
U.
207
00:08:21,246 --> 00:08:22,781
P.
208
00:08:25,257 --> 00:08:26,559
A...
209
00:08:26,594 --> 00:08:27,963
(gasps)
I knew it.
210
00:08:29,829 --> 00:08:31,931
EDGAR:
L.
211
00:08:32,831 --> 00:08:34,167
L?
212
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,853
Tupal?
213
00:08:35,888 --> 00:08:37,771
I don't know that fool.
214
00:08:39,883 --> 00:08:40,752
(spooky laugh)
215
00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:45,096
Oh, what's next, Edgar?
216
00:08:47,279 --> 00:08:48,848
Damn it.
217
00:08:51,629 --> 00:08:53,556
JIMMY: That's a pretty
convincing Baby Spice.
218
00:08:53,591 --> 00:08:55,287
He a'ight.
219
00:08:55,322 --> 00:08:58,615
You wanted to see
a Spice Girls cover band?
220
00:08:58,650 --> 00:08:59,993
Yeah.
221
00:09:00,026 --> 00:09:02,034
I love Spice Girls.
222
00:09:02,069 --> 00:09:04,734
Name three of their songs.
223
00:09:04,769 --> 00:09:08,321
"If You Wanna Be My Lover,"
(scoffs) is one.
224
00:09:08,356 --> 00:09:10,748
"You Gotta Get With My
Friends," is another.
225
00:09:10,781 --> 00:09:12,509
Oh, and the one where
she raps about slinging
226
00:09:12,544 --> 00:09:14,927
your body down and
winding it all around.
227
00:09:14,962 --> 00:09:17,568
That's all the same song, dummy.
228
00:09:17,603 --> 00:09:18,958
Excuse me, sir.
229
00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,273
I don't mean to be
too forward,
230
00:09:20,308 --> 00:09:22,124
but you've caught me
with your Hook.
231
00:09:22,159 --> 00:09:24,369
You're at the top
of my Schindler's List.
232
00:09:24,404 --> 00:09:25,451
My loins are
233
00:09:25,484 --> 00:09:27,063
Terminally Always
234
00:09:27,098 --> 00:09:28,667
The Color Purple for you.
235
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,741
So please open your Jaws
and make out with me.
236
00:09:31,776 --> 00:09:33,011
Munich.
237
00:09:37,463 --> 00:09:39,511
Guys, it's Dorothy!
238
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,902
Oh, finally.
239
00:09:41,937 --> 00:09:44,564
I'm sure someone entrenched
in the comedy world
240
00:09:44,599 --> 00:09:46,306
will know what my costume is.
241
00:09:46,339 --> 00:09:47,502
Hmm?
242
00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:48,648
Drop Dead Fred?
243
00:09:48,683 --> 00:09:50,024
Century 21 salesman
of the month?
244
00:09:50,059 --> 00:09:51,740
The bassist for The
Mighty Mighty Bosstones?
245
00:09:51,775 --> 00:09:54,554
- Gay Wolverine.
- (laughs)
246
00:09:54,589 --> 00:09:58,113
Like anyone knows
who Edgar's supposed to be.
247
00:09:58,148 --> 00:10:01,034
The Situation from
The Jersey Shore...
248
00:10:01,069 --> 00:10:02,698
...seven years later
than relevant.
249
00:10:02,733 --> 00:10:03,772
Sorry, honey.
250
00:10:03,807 --> 00:10:05,513
I still want to
smooch on you though.
251
00:10:05,548 --> 00:10:07,541
EDGAR:
Uh, yeah, um...
252
00:10:07,576 --> 00:10:08,932
we're in public.
253
00:10:08,967 --> 00:10:10,896
Oh, fine.
Well, then later.
254
00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:12,014
(growls)
255
00:10:12,049 --> 00:10:13,666
(growls)
256
00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:17,170
Ooh! I'm want to Vine
those motorcycles.
257
00:10:17,202 --> 00:10:18,938
(clicks tongue)
258
00:10:21,766 --> 00:10:23,083
Wow.
259
00:10:23,118 --> 00:10:25,677
Looks like that dry spell
is about to end.
260
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,612
Try not to blow a hole
through her back.
261
00:10:27,647 --> 00:10:29,949
I like Dorothy so much,
262
00:10:29,981 --> 00:10:33,352
but I'm scared that if we
go past a certain point,
263
00:10:33,385 --> 00:10:35,108
I'll have to tell her
about my problems,
264
00:10:35,143 --> 00:10:37,724
and I'm just not ready.
265
00:10:38,296 --> 00:10:40,614
Who gives a shit
if you're ready.
266
00:10:40,649 --> 00:10:42,202
Three years worth
of backed-up jizz
267
00:10:42,237 --> 00:10:43,757
in your balls is not healthy.
268
00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:45,398
Yeah, but it's not
about the jizz in my balls.
269
00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:48,500
It's about the jizz
in my brain and in my heart.
270
00:10:48,533 --> 00:10:50,694
The jizz in my heart, Jimmy.
271
00:10:50,729 --> 00:10:52,239
Can we go home now?
272
00:10:54,132 --> 00:10:55,417
(clears throat)
273
00:10:55,452 --> 00:10:58,811
Uh, actually, Gretchen,
there's one more stop.
274
00:10:58,844 --> 00:10:59,870
Ah.
275
00:10:59,905 --> 00:11:01,094
The grand finale.
276
00:11:01,129 --> 00:11:02,427
The grand finale?
277
00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,422
Yeah, it's Italian
for "big final."
278
00:11:04,457 --> 00:11:07,686
No, I... Never mind.
What is it?
279
00:11:13,771 --> 00:11:16,040
MAN:
Smile for the camera, maggot.
280
00:11:19,566 --> 00:11:21,781
Okay.
281
00:11:21,816 --> 00:11:24,646
There is no exiting once
you go through those doors.
282
00:11:24,681 --> 00:11:26,291
There is
no safeword.
283
00:11:26,326 --> 00:11:28,163
There are no rules.
284
00:11:28,198 --> 00:11:29,141
(chuckles)
285
00:11:29,174 --> 00:11:31,037
Acknowledge!
286
00:11:31,072 --> 00:11:32,913
- Yeah, yeah. - Yes, sir.
- Okay. - Okay.
287
00:11:42,112 --> 00:11:44,748
(door creaks shut)
288
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,196
This isn't so scary.
289
00:11:52,049 --> 00:11:54,386
(thrash metal playing,
all screaming)
290
00:12:03,819 --> 00:12:04,670
(screams)
291
00:12:04,705 --> 00:12:07,680
(screaming)
292
00:12:07,713 --> 00:12:10,218
293
00:12:10,253 --> 00:12:12,059
(screaming)
294
00:12:12,094 --> 00:12:14,285
(Jimmy sobbing)
295
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,324
(screaming)
296
00:12:17,356 --> 00:12:19,525
I want to go home.
297
00:12:19,558 --> 00:12:20,911
(roars)
298
00:12:20,946 --> 00:12:23,363
(woman cackling)
299
00:12:23,395 --> 00:12:24,614
Right.
300
00:12:24,649 --> 00:12:27,646
I'd prefer not to
interact with a mouse.
301
00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:28,835
WOMAN:
Shut up, maggot!
302
00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:31,041
This mouse is going to eat
your ugly pussy face.
303
00:12:31,076 --> 00:12:32,401
Then he'll burrow
down your throat
304
00:12:32,436 --> 00:12:33,319
and eat your
gory heart.
305
00:12:33,354 --> 00:12:35,526
Then he'll chew through your
intestines until he goddamn
306
00:12:35,561 --> 00:12:37,110
- chews his way out of your asshole
- (laughing)
307
00:12:37,143 --> 00:12:39,595
so all of your bloody,
gory, chewed-out intestines
308
00:12:39,630 --> 00:12:41,211
flop out of your
body onto the floor
309
00:12:41,246 --> 00:12:42,946
like a shitty garden hose!
310
00:12:42,981 --> 00:12:44,086
GRETCHEN:
Oh, no, Jimmy!
311
00:12:44,121 --> 00:12:46,569
You're so screwed!
312
00:12:47,486 --> 00:12:49,490
(screaming)
313
00:12:51,057 --> 00:12:53,527
(screaming continues)
314
00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:54,994
Whoa!
315
00:12:57,737 --> 00:12:59,072
This sucks.
316
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,769
(whimpering)
317
00:13:02,802 --> 00:13:05,472
(crying):
Why are you doing this to us?
318
00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:07,234
(sobs)
319
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:10,242
Why is this happening?
320
00:13:10,275 --> 00:13:12,612
- (growls)
- (screams)
321
00:13:13,313 --> 00:13:14,280
Ah!
322
00:13:18,642 --> 00:13:19,885
(screams)
323
00:13:19,919 --> 00:13:22,323
324
00:13:24,491 --> 00:13:25,693
(screams)
325
00:13:27,260 --> 00:13:29,263
(screams)
326
00:13:30,096 --> 00:13:31,845
Is that all
you pussies got!?
327
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,767
Ha-ha! Jimmy!
328
00:13:33,802 --> 00:13:35,001
What's going on, guys?
329
00:13:35,034 --> 00:13:36,548
What are you
doing here?
330
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,083
I'm a horror house nerd
from way back.
331
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,405
After this, I'm heading
to another one in Sylmar.
332
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,087
They've got a real,
live Babadook.
333
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,373
- (snarling)
- You guys should totally...!
334
00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:46,511
(laughing)
335
00:13:48,668 --> 00:13:50,671
Ah...
336
00:13:53,327 --> 00:13:54,282
You good?
337
00:13:54,317 --> 00:13:55,397
I'm great!
338
00:13:55,432 --> 00:13:56,703
This place is nuts!
339
00:13:56,738 --> 00:14:00,493
(panting): You guys probably shouldn't
sit on that couch.
340
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:05,036
(screaming)
341
00:14:06,419 --> 00:14:08,302
- (water dripping)
- LINDSAY: Hello?
342
00:14:08,789 --> 00:14:10,390
Hello?
343
00:14:12,072 --> 00:14:13,241
Hello?
344
00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:16,331
Oh, my God.
345
00:14:16,366 --> 00:14:18,545
Where am I?
346
00:14:18,577 --> 00:14:22,297
Help me!
347
00:14:22,332 --> 00:14:24,474
(freaky voice):
No one can help you, Lindsay.
348
00:14:24,509 --> 00:14:27,229
You're all alone now!
349
00:14:27,264 --> 00:14:28,865
How did you know my name?!
350
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:30,285
Shh.
351
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,411
I don't like the taste
of fear in my meat.
352
00:14:33,446 --> 00:14:34,913
(screaming)
353
00:14:34,948 --> 00:14:37,063
(mocking scream)
354
00:14:37,097 --> 00:14:38,999
(screaming)
355
00:14:39,031 --> 00:14:40,900
(growling)
356
00:14:40,933 --> 00:14:43,603
(crying)
357
00:14:48,006 --> 00:14:50,360
Um...
358
00:14:50,395 --> 00:14:51,643
What are you doing?
359
00:14:51,678 --> 00:14:53,572
LINDSAY:
What I always do.
360
00:14:53,607 --> 00:14:55,108
I'm giving up.
361
00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:56,819
Um...
362
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:57,937
Good!
363
00:14:57,972 --> 00:15:00,356
It'll make it easier
for me to rip open your flesh
364
00:15:00,391 --> 00:15:02,388
and make a cape from your skin.
365
00:15:02,422 --> 00:15:05,357
I'll probably make
a shitty cape!
366
00:15:05,392 --> 00:15:07,605
Just like I'm a shitty wife.
367
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,044
Just like
I'm a shitty homeowner.
368
00:15:10,079 --> 00:15:12,662
I can't even turn my power on.
369
00:15:12,697 --> 00:15:14,367
How pathetic is that?
370
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:20,207
Have you tried calling
customer service?
371
00:15:21,335 --> 00:15:24,339
(thrash metal playing)
372
00:15:34,783 --> 00:15:38,587
(screaming)
373
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:39,693
No. No!
374
00:15:39,728 --> 00:15:42,521
- (laughing maniacally)
- No! No!
375
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:47,269
(maniacal laughter
continues)
376
00:15:52,867 --> 00:15:54,908
Oh, hell yeah!
377
00:15:54,941 --> 00:15:56,789
Ha-ha!
378
00:15:56,824 --> 00:16:00,085
Our Father, Who art in heaven,
379
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,881
hallowed be Thy name...
380
00:16:01,914 --> 00:16:03,471
(shrieking, sobbing)
381
00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:04,550
Oh, damn!
382
00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:06,218
(panting)
383
00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:07,962
This is almost
over, right?
384
00:16:07,997 --> 00:16:08,770
You'll be fine.
385
00:16:08,805 --> 00:16:10,122
Just breathe.
386
00:16:10,155 --> 00:16:11,791
(inhales deeply)
387
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,696
See?
388
00:16:16,807 --> 00:16:18,811
- (growling)
- (yells)
389
00:16:19,866 --> 00:16:21,568
DOROTHY:
Oh, my God.
390
00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:22,836
Stop!
391
00:16:22,869 --> 00:16:24,171
Stop!
392
00:16:24,203 --> 00:16:26,606
Edgar, stop!
393
00:16:26,639 --> 00:16:29,009
I'm telling!
394
00:16:29,042 --> 00:16:31,838
- I have to tell you something.
- Okay.
395
00:16:31,873 --> 00:16:34,619
I have... residual issues
396
00:16:34,654 --> 00:16:36,183
from...
397
00:16:36,216 --> 00:16:39,636
I'm sorry I never told you.
398
00:16:39,671 --> 00:16:42,467
I'm honored that you
trust me enough to tell me.
399
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,486
Also, I haven't had sex
in three years.
400
00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:47,660
Is that why you keep
touching me over the bra?
401
00:16:49,522 --> 00:16:51,191
Three years, huh?
402
00:16:59,282 --> 00:17:00,698
(distant screaming,
monster roaring)
403
00:17:00,733 --> 00:17:03,033
This whole thing is derivative.
404
00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:03,992
It's homage.
405
00:17:04,027 --> 00:17:05,774
Face it, horror
films are legacy.
406
00:17:05,809 --> 00:17:07,515
Forget about movies.
407
00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:10,477
This is the golden age
of television. TV owns.
408
00:17:10,512 --> 00:17:13,820
- (laughs)
- (rattling)
409
00:17:14,172 --> 00:17:15,811
(moaning)
410
00:17:17,969 --> 00:17:21,340
Ah... ah...
411
00:17:24,287 --> 00:17:26,045
Hey, we all get overwhelmed.
412
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,445
If a problem seems too big,
413
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,563
try breaking it up
into smaller chunks.
414
00:17:29,598 --> 00:17:30,704
It's called chunking.
415
00:17:30,739 --> 00:17:33,041
There's a really great
TED talk about it.
416
00:17:33,076 --> 00:17:34,540
Huh.
417
00:17:34,573 --> 00:17:35,857
"Chunking"?
418
00:17:35,892 --> 00:17:37,266
Okay, you ready?
419
00:17:37,301 --> 00:17:38,360
Now, when the voice comes on
420
00:17:38,395 --> 00:17:39,682
and asks you what you want,
421
00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:41,181
you say "operator."
422
00:17:41,216 --> 00:17:42,909
Then they'll do this thing
where they say,
423
00:17:42,944 --> 00:17:45,375
"While you wait, what is
the nature of your problem?"
424
00:17:45,410 --> 00:17:46,361
That's a trick.
425
00:17:46,396 --> 00:17:48,055
Just say "operator" again.
426
00:17:48,090 --> 00:17:49,659
You want me to dial for you?
427
00:17:51,289 --> 00:17:52,624
No.
428
00:17:54,294 --> 00:17:56,927
I can do it myself.
429
00:17:56,962 --> 00:17:59,366
Attagirl.
430
00:18:12,149 --> 00:18:14,199
They weren't kidding
about that no rules thing.
431
00:18:14,234 --> 00:18:16,526
That-that little girl
with her arms on backwards
432
00:18:16,561 --> 00:18:18,237
straight-up bit my tit.
433
00:18:18,272 --> 00:18:20,547
That was so much fun!
434
00:18:20,582 --> 00:18:21,890
I knew it would work.
435
00:18:21,925 --> 00:18:23,678
- What would?
- This whole day.
436
00:18:23,713 --> 00:18:25,530
To whack you out of your funk.
437
00:18:25,565 --> 00:18:26,943
I made you think
it was Edgar's idea,
438
00:18:26,978 --> 00:18:28,227
but it was mine.
439
00:18:28,261 --> 00:18:29,790
Goddamn it, Jimmy!
440
00:18:29,825 --> 00:18:30,568
I knew it!
441
00:18:30,603 --> 00:18:32,446
I mean... no, I didn't know it,
442
00:18:32,481 --> 00:18:33,625
but I knew it!
443
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:34,558
Wait, you...
444
00:18:34,593 --> 00:18:36,142
you're mad at me because
you had a good time?
445
00:18:36,177 --> 00:18:37,069
No!
446
00:18:37,104 --> 00:18:39,748
I am mad at you because
you think you can fix me!
447
00:18:39,783 --> 00:18:41,673
You can't fix me, Jimmy.
448
00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:43,573
I don't need to be fixed.
449
00:18:43,608 --> 00:18:44,476
Wow.
450
00:18:44,509 --> 00:18:46,878
Well...
451
00:18:46,913 --> 00:18:49,815
I'm sorry I tried to give you
a nice day.
452
00:18:49,958 --> 00:18:51,627
What an asshole.
453
00:19:05,567 --> 00:19:06,669
Where's Jimmy?
454
00:19:06,704 --> 00:19:07,839
He left.
455
00:19:07,874 --> 00:19:09,578
He's trying to fix me.
456
00:19:09,613 --> 00:19:11,715
Of course he is,
he's Jimmy.
457
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,645
He's not gonna stop,
you know.
458
00:19:16,116 --> 00:19:17,952
Unless...
459
00:19:18,149 --> 00:19:21,120
he thinks he fixed me already.
460
00:19:21,167 --> 00:19:22,795
(indistinct chatter)
461
00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:25,253
WOMAN:
That's a great Heathstead.
462
00:19:26,902 --> 00:19:28,170
What?
463
00:19:28,204 --> 00:19:30,260
WOMAN:
Your costume.
464
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,575
Heathstead, from
Buckle Your Shoes, right?
465
00:19:34,076 --> 00:19:35,444
Yeah.
466
00:19:35,477 --> 00:19:38,076
No one has gotten
it all day.
467
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,626
Seriously?
468
00:19:40,052 --> 00:19:42,596
Remember when Maggie Cornelia
has the bunion?
469
00:19:42,689 --> 00:19:44,716
But he can't tell her,
470
00:19:44,821 --> 00:19:47,320
because she's redoing her will.
471
00:19:47,355 --> 00:19:49,652
- And the dog?
- And the dog, yeah!
472
00:19:49,687 --> 00:19:50,794
(laughing)
473
00:19:50,826 --> 00:19:53,218
Ah...
474
00:19:53,253 --> 00:19:54,636
Rough day?
475
00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:57,340
Oh, yeah. Halloween.
476
00:19:57,375 --> 00:19:58,780
It's a stupid holiday.
477
00:19:58,815 --> 00:20:00,236
I like it.
478
00:20:00,269 --> 00:20:02,605
It's good for business.
479
00:20:02,639 --> 00:20:03,589
Speaking of which,
480
00:20:03,624 --> 00:20:05,241
I should probably
get back in there.
481
00:20:05,275 --> 00:20:06,679
Don't want to
piss off the boss.
482
00:20:06,714 --> 00:20:08,344
Ah, she's a pushover.
483
00:20:09,611 --> 00:20:10,980
It's my bar.
484
00:20:11,014 --> 00:20:12,476
I'm Nina.
485
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:14,217
Keune.
486
00:20:14,249 --> 00:20:17,887
I've been serving you
for the last... few months.
487
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,034
Oh. Sorry, I...
488
00:20:20,069 --> 00:20:21,558
I don't remember people.
489
00:20:21,591 --> 00:20:23,394
That's okay.
490
00:20:23,429 --> 00:20:27,109
Hey, maybe I'll, uh, come join
you when things cool down.
491
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:27,865
We need
to talk about
492
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:30,887
when Iolanthe left Crumpleton
for London.
493
00:20:30,922 --> 00:20:34,845
(posh accent): She always did refuse
to accept her station.
494
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,816
(laughs)
495
00:20:52,008 --> 00:20:53,676
You were right!
496
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:54,286
It's crazy,
497
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,478
but I feel like
a whole new person.
498
00:20:56,513 --> 00:20:59,714
I guess all I needed was
a fun day doing things I liked.
499
00:20:59,749 --> 00:21:01,279
Well, then.
500
00:21:01,314 --> 00:21:03,620
Wow, that's... that's great.
501
00:21:03,655 --> 00:21:05,034
Yes, it is.
502
00:21:05,067 --> 00:21:06,903
Smart, smart man.
503
00:21:07,817 --> 00:21:09,192
How'd you know
I was coming?
504
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:12,497
Oh, I just had a feeling
everything would work out.
505
00:21:20,607 --> 00:21:23,202
Oh, my God, the guy
coming out of the tub.
506
00:21:23,237 --> 00:21:25,285
And the guy with the...
507
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,071
- Helen Keller thing?
- (chuckles)
508
00:21:27,106 --> 00:21:29,242
(laughing)
509
00:21:30,272 --> 00:21:31,819
KID:
Oh, she's coming!
510
00:21:31,854 --> 00:21:32,855
Let's go!
511
00:21:32,905 --> 00:21:34,461
Go, go! Go!
Go!
512
00:21:34,499 --> 00:21:35,601
Go, go!
513
00:21:35,636 --> 00:21:36,971
Come on, man!
514
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:43,870
515
00:21:48,678 --> 00:21:51,615
(sighs)
516
00:21:51,984 --> 00:21:55,188
(alarm beeping)
517
00:21:55,362 --> 00:21:57,766
(TV playing football game,
alarm beeping)
518
00:22:04,168 --> 00:22:07,537
(whirring, alarm beeping,
TV playing in distance)
519
00:22:09,963 --> 00:22:13,036
We...
520
00:22:13,071 --> 00:22:14,795
Never got control
521
00:22:14,830 --> 00:22:17,152
Lost the whole damn world
522
00:22:17,187 --> 00:22:22,629
Lie... like a pair of dice
523
00:22:22,664 --> 00:22:26,224
Us just a pair of d...
524
00:22:26,259 --> 00:22:31,259
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
525
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:35,859
Repair and Synchronization by
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