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1
00:00:00,595 --> 00:00:02,598
(filtered breathing)
2
00:00:08,503 --> 00:00:10,739
Aw, damn it.
3
00:00:12,507 --> 00:00:14,309
You're you.
4
00:00:14,343 --> 00:00:16,963
I was having the
most amazing dream
5
00:00:16,998 --> 00:00:19,481
where you were you,
6
00:00:19,514 --> 00:00:22,878
but also you were
Janis Joplin.
7
00:00:22,913 --> 00:00:24,653
But now you're just you.
8
00:00:24,685 --> 00:00:27,489
You're sexually attracted
to Janis Joplin?
9
00:00:28,856 --> 00:00:30,191
I don't know.
10
00:00:30,224 --> 00:00:32,193
That is kind
of concerning.
11
00:00:32,227 --> 00:00:36,255
Anyway, you,
Janis and me,
12
00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:39,457
and my year four teacher,
Mr. Freer, were on a road trip.
13
00:00:39,492 --> 00:00:41,258
- Nope.
- What?
14
00:00:41,293 --> 00:00:43,557
- No dreams.
- No, that's for other people.
15
00:00:43,592 --> 00:00:45,375
My dreams are amazing.
16
00:00:46,575 --> 00:00:48,086
Fine, then you're
not allowed to talk
17
00:00:48,121 --> 00:00:50,900
about random
dogs you see.
18
00:00:50,935 --> 00:00:54,216
But what if he's a little cowboy
wearing a bandana?
19
00:00:55,162 --> 00:00:58,752
Right. I am gonna go
hop in the shower,
20
00:00:58,787 --> 00:01:01,249
and then...
21
00:01:01,284 --> 00:01:02,992
it's Bloody Mary time.
22
00:01:03,025 --> 00:01:04,763
It's Sunday.
Why are you showering?
23
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,732
Oh, still having weird
feelings about Janis Joplin.
24
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:11,032
Figured I'd go sort
them out in there.
25
00:01:11,065 --> 00:01:13,835
Hey, so, um... (clears throat)
you know last night,
26
00:01:13,868 --> 00:01:16,249
when you were
crying in your car...
27
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:17,618
all good now, right?
28
00:01:17,653 --> 00:01:18,964
Yeah, totally. I'm fine.
29
00:01:18,999 --> 00:01:20,647
Okay, good.
30
00:01:20,682 --> 00:01:22,027
Right, then.
31
00:01:22,062 --> 00:01:24,055
Hakuna matata.
32
00:01:24,090 --> 00:01:26,588
Did you just quote
The Lion King to me?
33
00:01:26,623 --> 00:01:27,860
The lion what?
34
00:01:27,895 --> 00:01:30,779
No, it's a...
it's a Swahili phrase.
35
00:01:30,814 --> 00:01:32,855
No, I know th...
36
00:01:32,888 --> 00:01:35,275
Are you sure
you're not quoting something?
37
00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:38,856
Just Khalid, the kabob shop
owner in my old neighborhood.
38
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:41,314
I mean, the phrase doesn't
translate easily to English,
39
00:01:41,349 --> 00:01:43,064
but it means...
40
00:01:43,097 --> 00:01:46,229
that there is
not currently a problem.
41
00:01:46,264 --> 00:01:49,432
So would you say it's a...
42
00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:52,461
problem-free philosophy?
43
00:01:52,496 --> 00:01:54,672
That's a tad
simplistic, but...
44
00:01:54,707 --> 00:01:58,727
Okay, so it's like no worries
for the rest of your days?
45
00:01:58,762 --> 00:02:01,416
(chuckles):
Oh, Gretchen, Gretchen.
46
00:02:01,451 --> 00:02:03,666
The East Africans live
very much in the moment,
47
00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:07,193
so it's not a guarantee
of smooth sailing forever.
48
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,562
That's just childish.
49
00:02:08,597 --> 00:02:09,423
But you know what?
50
00:02:09,458 --> 00:02:12,061
If you'd like to be
really positive about it, sure.
51
00:02:12,094 --> 00:02:15,941
Hakuna matata,
for the rest of your days.
52
00:02:17,431 --> 00:02:18,500
(chuckles)
53
00:02:18,534 --> 00:02:20,803
54
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,673
(sighs)
55
00:02:29,611 --> 00:02:32,744
I'm gonna leave you anyway
56
00:02:32,779 --> 00:02:35,215
I'm gonna leave you
anyway
57
00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:37,619
Gonna leave you anyway.
58
00:02:37,654 --> 00:02:42,654
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
59
00:02:45,193 --> 00:02:46,494
Oh!
60
00:02:46,528 --> 00:02:48,763
Hey. You must
be Gretchen.
61
00:02:48,797 --> 00:02:50,195
I'm Edgar's friend, Dorothy.
62
00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:51,305
You know what
I was realizing?
63
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:53,253
We both have really
old-timey names.
64
00:02:53,288 --> 00:02:54,637
Isn't that hilarious?
It's like,
65
00:02:54,669 --> 00:02:55,916
Dorothy and Gretchen
66
00:02:55,951 --> 00:02:57,439
Both sipping egg cream
67
00:02:57,471 --> 00:02:58,985
Dorothy and Gretchen
68
00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:01,032
Hiding a man
in a closet.
69
00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:02,729
Ah, I know you.
70
00:03:02,764 --> 00:03:04,165
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah.
71
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,497
You're a theater girl.
72
00:03:05,532 --> 00:03:08,802
(door opens, closes)
73
00:03:09,984 --> 00:03:11,762
Morning.
74
00:03:11,797 --> 00:03:13,407
Have you met Dorothy?
75
00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:15,215
Oh, yeah, I already
made up a song.
76
00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:16,785
Dorothy and Gretchen
77
00:03:16,820 --> 00:03:20,350
Both getting
stricken by polio.
78
00:03:20,385 --> 00:03:21,129
(laughing)
79
00:03:21,162 --> 00:03:23,187
JIMMY:
Yeah, Janis was a no-go.
80
00:03:23,222 --> 00:03:25,392
Pivoted to Grace Slick
at the last second,
81
00:03:25,427 --> 00:03:27,468
so it wasn't a total waste.
82
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:29,505
Hi, Jimmy.
83
00:03:30,505 --> 00:03:33,569
Jimmy, this is Dorothy.
84
00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:34,238
R-Remember?
85
00:03:34,273 --> 00:03:36,951
From Hey, Put That Down Brian?
86
00:03:36,986 --> 00:03:39,114
(gasps) Oh, yes!
87
00:03:39,149 --> 00:03:40,282
Dorothy, of course!
88
00:03:40,317 --> 00:03:42,998
Dorothy.
Lovely to see you.
89
00:03:43,033 --> 00:03:44,478
Remember, I was the one
that suggested
90
00:03:44,513 --> 00:03:46,765
pet cemetery
for that incest scene?
91
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,845
- (laughs)
- Of course.
92
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:52,609
Yes, we've been
hanging out lately,
93
00:03:52,644 --> 00:03:55,149
so... that's why she's here.
94
00:03:55,184 --> 00:03:56,999
Great. So...
95
00:03:57,031 --> 00:03:59,034
Oh, right. Uh, yes.
96
00:03:59,069 --> 00:04:01,035
And...
97
00:04:01,068 --> 00:04:03,458
I'm sorry, I haven't
had time to go shopping.
98
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,821
Ugh, I'm starving.
Let's go to the diner.
99
00:04:05,856 --> 00:04:06,884
- Fine.
- (giggles)
100
00:04:06,919 --> 00:04:08,319
Yeah, that's not
gonna happen, guys.
101
00:04:08,354 --> 00:04:11,077
- What are you talking about?
- Don't you know what day it is?
102
00:04:12,037 --> 00:04:16,236
Hint: it's the worst
driving day in Los Angeles.
103
00:04:16,271 --> 00:04:17,936
Oh, is it sprinkling?
104
00:04:17,971 --> 00:04:19,210
The Christmas parade?
105
00:04:19,245 --> 00:04:20,885
Obama's on Kimmel again?
106
00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,385
The march for the
Armenian thing?
107
00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:23,928
Bicycles taking over
the street day?
108
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:25,624
Elmo fight outside
the Chinese Theater?
109
00:04:25,659 --> 00:04:27,630
- Aah! The marathon is today.
- Oh.
110
00:04:27,663 --> 00:04:29,232
Oh, my God.
They still do that?
111
00:04:29,267 --> 00:04:32,034
Well, I guess we're just gonna
have to be stuck here all day.
112
00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,668
No, we can't be!
113
00:04:34,736 --> 00:04:37,139
We're adults. We can walk!
114
00:04:37,906 --> 00:04:40,309
(laughter)
115
00:04:40,341 --> 00:04:42,411
Okay.
116
00:04:42,444 --> 00:04:44,550
What are we,
New Yorkers?
117
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:45,943
(bad New York accent):
Oh, fuggedaboutit.
118
00:04:45,978 --> 00:04:49,668
Let's walk and get a pizza bagel
with Mayor Giuliani.
119
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,155
No.
120
00:04:55,623 --> 00:04:57,159
Do you know what,
it's fine.
121
00:04:57,192 --> 00:04:59,080
We'll just..
take it easy
122
00:04:59,115 --> 00:05:01,562
and, uh,
wait this thing out.
123
00:05:01,596 --> 00:05:02,764
I know.
124
00:05:03,764 --> 00:05:05,688
(grunts)
125
00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:07,189
Beans on toast.
126
00:05:07,635 --> 00:05:09,570
Sounds disgusting,
127
00:05:09,603 --> 00:05:11,603
but on the spectrum
of English cooking,
128
00:05:11,638 --> 00:05:14,009
I would put it up there
with cabbage bread
129
00:05:14,041 --> 00:05:15,710
and lung pudding.
130
00:05:17,546 --> 00:05:19,635
Edgar, what have you done
to the bread bag?
131
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:20,995
Oh, that was
probably the mouse.
132
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,131
The mouse? What mouse?!
We have a mouse?!
133
00:05:23,166 --> 00:05:24,809
I think he lives
in the laundry room.
134
00:05:24,844 --> 00:05:26,123
No, the-the garage.
135
00:05:26,158 --> 00:05:29,693
He made a-a little nest
out of Jimmy's unsold books.
136
00:05:29,728 --> 00:05:31,082
Sorry, let me
get this straight.
137
00:05:31,117 --> 00:05:34,976
We have a mouse crawling through
the food that we ingest,
138
00:05:35,011 --> 00:05:36,227
and not only do you two
139
00:05:36,262 --> 00:05:37,295
know about it,
140
00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:39,201
but you're
absolutely unbothered?
141
00:05:39,233 --> 00:05:40,550
- He's kind of cute.
- Yeah, if he's not
142
00:05:40,585 --> 00:05:42,370
bothering anyone,
who cares that he's here?
143
00:05:42,404 --> 00:05:43,939
I do! Me!
144
00:05:43,971 --> 00:05:46,078
The person in whose
house you all live,
145
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:49,177
which now, apparently,
includes vermin!
146
00:05:49,212 --> 00:05:50,602
Right, breakfast is canceled,
147
00:05:50,637 --> 00:05:52,726
because due to your
staggering apathy
148
00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:55,787
about living with the actual
cause of the plague itself,
149
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:59,271
I will be busy
evicting this mouse!
150
00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:01,824
I'll help.
151
00:06:07,829 --> 00:06:09,298
You sure you're okay?
152
00:06:09,330 --> 00:06:12,208
Yeah. I'm amazing.
153
00:06:12,243 --> 00:06:13,802
(chuckles)
154
00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:15,837
(humming a tune)
155
00:06:21,441 --> 00:06:24,043
You guys have fun.
156
00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:27,271
Dancing to no music.
157
00:06:37,414 --> 00:06:39,417
Oh, no!
158
00:06:41,356 --> 00:06:44,653
Hey, it's really cool of you
to let Dorothy crash here.
159
00:06:44,688 --> 00:06:46,348
Oh, yeah,
thanks for reminding me.
160
00:06:46,383 --> 00:06:49,455
I was too upset about
the mouse to properly yell.
161
00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:51,781
In what world is a freeloader
162
00:06:51,816 --> 00:06:54,206
allowed to invite
someone else to stay?
163
00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:55,696
That'd be like
Kato Kaelin
164
00:06:55,731 --> 00:06:58,800
inviting someone to live in an
even tinier little guest house.
165
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,370
So what do you
think of Dorothy?
166
00:07:00,405 --> 00:07:03,060
Why would you care what people
think of your girlfriend?
167
00:07:03,095 --> 00:07:05,145
Gretchen's a
lunatic of whom
168
00:07:05,180 --> 00:07:08,616
I should be profoundly ashamed,
and yet I'm not.
169
00:07:08,651 --> 00:07:10,604
That maniac goes out
in the middle of the night
170
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:14,160
to cry in her car, and I'm like,
"Live and let live."
171
00:07:14,195 --> 00:07:15,537
That's where she's been going?
172
00:07:15,572 --> 00:07:16,442
Yeah, ap-apparently,
173
00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:17,770
it's sort of her thing.
174
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,985
Whatever. Hakuna matata.
175
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,051
Ah, no worries.
176
00:07:23,731 --> 00:07:26,429
Yeah, it's slightly
more nuanced than that,
177
00:07:26,464 --> 00:07:28,537
but, yeah, essentially.
178
00:07:30,471 --> 00:07:31,946
179
00:07:31,981 --> 00:07:34,288
Um, are we gonna stop
doing this at some point?
180
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:35,242
I got shin issues.
181
00:07:35,277 --> 00:07:35,951
Don't know.
182
00:07:35,986 --> 00:07:37,699
Hey, you want to
do an Avocadon't?
183
00:07:37,734 --> 00:07:38,238
Nope.
184
00:07:38,273 --> 00:07:39,818
It's this dumb thing
I do on Vine.
185
00:07:39,853 --> 00:07:41,077
- Nope!
- Yeah, my most popular one
186
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,521
is where I try
to breast-feed one
187
00:07:42,556 --> 00:07:44,864
and then I burp it
and guacamole flies everywhere.
188
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,604
- Nope!
- Hey, I'm gonna go grab an avocado.
189
00:07:46,639 --> 00:07:49,640
- I brought a bunch in my bag.
- Nope, no, no, no!
190
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:55,260
- Aah! Lindsay! Thank God!
- (gasps)
191
00:07:55,295 --> 00:07:57,574
- We're dancing!
- (whoops)
192
00:07:57,609 --> 00:07:59,703
Oh, my God, Gretch,
193
00:07:59,738 --> 00:08:02,103
it is literally
'Nam out there.
194
00:08:02,137 --> 00:08:04,106
There was so much traffic,
195
00:08:04,139 --> 00:08:05,905
I got through three
whole episodes
196
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:08,623
of the Just Farts
podcast, and then
197
00:08:08,658 --> 00:08:10,199
I got to the thing,
and they wouldn't
198
00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:11,393
let me through the people,
199
00:08:11,428 --> 00:08:14,519
so I abandoned my car
and walked past the people
200
00:08:14,554 --> 00:08:15,675
and they yelled at me.
201
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:17,156
And then some
Asian boy gave me
202
00:08:17,191 --> 00:08:19,034
a cup of Gatorade,
which was weird.
203
00:08:19,069 --> 00:08:22,294
And then I walked
all the way here, uphill.
204
00:08:22,329 --> 00:08:24,759
And then I died. I'm dead.
205
00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:26,417
- Talking about the marathon?
- I guess.
206
00:08:26,452 --> 00:08:29,598
Whatever. I just had to get
out of Becca's stupid house.
207
00:08:29,631 --> 00:08:32,767
She makes me put the seat down
when I pee.
208
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,902
- What are you doing at Becca's house?
- Wow.
209
00:08:34,935 --> 00:08:38,194
Gretch, you are really out
of the loop these days.
210
00:08:38,229 --> 00:08:40,611
I'm staying there because
I don't have any power,
211
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,276
but Becca's driving me insane
212
00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,613
with "baby" this
and "her bump" that.
213
00:08:44,646 --> 00:08:47,635
Also, Vernon honked my boob.
214
00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:49,680
Oh, my God,
is that your real voice?
215
00:08:50,954 --> 00:08:52,498
Who's the rando?
216
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,336
Don't know.
Theater girl.
217
00:08:54,371 --> 00:08:55,312
She was here
when I woke up.
218
00:08:55,347 --> 00:08:57,290
Lindsay!
219
00:08:57,325 --> 00:08:59,182
Did you meet Dorothy?
220
00:08:59,217 --> 00:09:01,129
She's crashing with
me for a while.
221
00:09:01,162 --> 00:09:02,386
- What?
- Uh, yeah.
222
00:09:02,421 --> 00:09:04,335
Anyway, you guys
223
00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:07,115
would probably
like each other a lot.
224
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,682
You both like naps.
225
00:09:08,717 --> 00:09:10,064
Dorothy, tell Lindsay
226
00:09:10,099 --> 00:09:12,141
about that nap you
took the other day.
227
00:09:12,174 --> 00:09:13,675
I napped in a sunbeam.
228
00:09:13,709 --> 00:09:15,235
EDGAR:
See? Anyway, I'm gonna
229
00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:16,630
go get Jimmy
some gloves.
230
00:09:16,665 --> 00:09:18,627
It's, uh, it's
not going well.
231
00:09:18,662 --> 00:09:20,049
(door opens)
232
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,482
VERNON:
You guys,
233
00:09:21,516 --> 00:09:23,404
traffic is banonkers.
234
00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,728
I had to ditch the Beemer
and hoof it up here.
235
00:09:25,763 --> 00:09:28,027
Do you know your car is parked
in the middle of Alvarado?
236
00:09:28,062 --> 00:09:28,918
I could tell
it was yours
237
00:09:28,953 --> 00:09:31,179
from the wine bottle
in the cup holder.
238
00:09:31,214 --> 00:09:33,319
- Who's the rando?
- Oh, Dorothy.
239
00:09:33,354 --> 00:09:35,664
I have a patient
named Dorothy. She's 92.
240
00:09:35,696 --> 00:09:38,729
Oh, shit. I forgot.
She died last week.
241
00:09:38,764 --> 00:09:42,710
Osteoporos. Her entire skeleton
basically liquefied.
242
00:09:42,745 --> 00:09:44,154
Girls, drink your milk.
243
00:09:44,189 --> 00:09:46,175
And 1.3% of men.
244
00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:48,694
I need to talk to you,
solamente.
245
00:09:51,579 --> 00:09:53,500
Come on,
theater girl!
246
00:09:53,535 --> 00:09:56,792
And five and six
and seven and eight!
247
00:09:57,082 --> 00:09:59,585
I hear 'em say
it is what it is...
248
00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:07,156
Bed booze!
Why didn't I think of that?
249
00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,367
What do you want, Vernon?
250
00:10:08,402 --> 00:10:09,696
Please don't tell Becca
what happened
251
00:10:09,731 --> 00:10:11,271
in the man cave
last night.
252
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:14,102
Oh, that? Whatever.
It felt good.
253
00:10:14,137 --> 00:10:16,592
- I won't tell.
- Really? Okay.
254
00:10:16,627 --> 00:10:18,085
Shit, you are one chill lady.
255
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,208
That is a relief.
I just...
256
00:10:20,242 --> 00:10:21,724
- feel so lonely lately.
- I said I won't tell.
257
00:10:21,759 --> 00:10:24,835
Bec and I used to have so much
fun, but when I come home now,
258
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:26,962
I can never win,
'cause she's talking about
259
00:10:26,997 --> 00:10:30,701
how she's harnessing
the very power of life itself,
260
00:10:30,736 --> 00:10:34,221
so who gives a crap if I just
made it so some old biddy
261
00:10:34,256 --> 00:10:36,461
will be able
to plant bulbs next spring?
262
00:10:36,496 --> 00:10:38,981
And really,
let's be honest,
263
00:10:39,016 --> 00:10:40,970
Bec is just
milking this shit
264
00:10:41,005 --> 00:10:43,660
so she can be
a 24/7 snack monster
265
00:10:43,695 --> 00:10:45,570
and Jabba all over the place.
266
00:10:45,605 --> 00:10:47,958
She won't even let me do her
anymore 'cause she's afraid
267
00:10:47,993 --> 00:10:50,677
the baby might
come out wack. Shit!
268
00:10:50,712 --> 00:10:54,145
I don't want some
wack-ass baby, but I have needs.
269
00:10:54,180 --> 00:10:57,458
Anyway, I appreciate
your staying discreet.
270
00:10:57,493 --> 00:10:59,135
- I promise.
- Okay, cool.
271
00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:01,170
You want me to
give you some money?
272
00:11:02,042 --> 00:11:04,112
- What?
- Just... take some cash.
273
00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:05,616
It'll make me feel better.
274
00:11:16,201 --> 00:11:19,904
Okay. That feels
really good. I mean,
275
00:11:19,939 --> 00:11:22,583
it feels good
to get that stuff off my chest.
276
00:11:24,839 --> 00:11:27,528
(grunts)
277
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:28,401
(sighs)
278
00:11:28,978 --> 00:11:31,728
Click your heels,
click your heels
279
00:11:31,763 --> 00:11:33,964
Click your heels,
now work it, work it...
280
00:11:33,999 --> 00:11:36,532
- Why are we dancing?
- Gretchen's doing it.
281
00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:38,957
DEEJAY: It's your boy
Trace on Fire, 103!
282
00:11:38,992 --> 00:11:40,628
We got Honey Nutz and S-stain
283
00:11:40,663 --> 00:11:42,864
with a response
to Sam Dresden's dis track.
284
00:11:42,899 --> 00:11:44,040
This is "Phony Hawk."
285
00:11:44,075 --> 00:11:46,665
- Yeah, these are my boys!
-
286
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,374
Oh, I'm a P.R. genius.
287
00:11:48,409 --> 00:11:52,059
- So the feud's working?
- Yeah!
288
00:11:52,092 --> 00:11:54,812
Maybe a little
too well. Ooh!
289
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:57,573
Jesus, these lyrics are mean!
290
00:11:57,608 --> 00:12:00,133
Sam's so gonna fire me.
291
00:12:00,168 --> 00:12:02,203
Whatever. Jobs are dumb.
292
00:12:02,236 --> 00:12:04,105
Hakuna matata!
293
00:12:04,139 --> 00:12:05,863
So, what do you think
of Dorothy?
294
00:12:05,898 --> 00:12:07,242
Pretty great, huh?
295
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:09,644
She a'ight.
296
00:12:09,677 --> 00:12:10,879
JIMMY:
Where's the mouse?!
297
00:12:10,912 --> 00:12:12,828
It ran in here!
298
00:12:13,514 --> 00:12:15,516
Hello?
299
00:12:18,165 --> 00:12:18,681
(music stops)
300
00:12:18,716 --> 00:12:20,678
Why is no one helping me
catch this mouse?
301
00:12:20,713 --> 00:12:22,967
You need a mouse? Shit,
we got, like, hundreds of them
302
00:12:23,002 --> 00:12:25,420
in the lab at work; I'll
jack you all the mice you need.
303
00:12:25,455 --> 00:12:26,539
You're all just dancing,
304
00:12:26,574 --> 00:12:29,237
like some uncoordinated
doomsday cult,
305
00:12:29,272 --> 00:12:31,413
while vermin run around
unchecked.
306
00:12:31,448 --> 00:12:33,094
And why are
Vernon and Lindsay here?
307
00:12:33,129 --> 00:12:33,690
Right?
308
00:12:33,725 --> 00:12:35,258
I ran through
the people.
309
00:12:35,293 --> 00:12:38,644
Please, will everyone be quiet
for one goddamn minute!
310
00:12:42,472 --> 00:12:44,073
(faint squeaking)
311
00:12:45,179 --> 00:12:47,448
I think it's
under the fridge.
312
00:12:47,481 --> 00:12:49,934
Gretchen,
why don't you come help me.
313
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:51,352
Comin' at ya!
314
00:12:54,889 --> 00:12:56,074
Hummus?
315
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,859
No.
316
00:12:57,892 --> 00:12:59,962
Hold this.
317
00:13:05,272 --> 00:13:06,167
Hey.
318
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,875
So, what's up with you?
319
00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:09,979
Taking apart a fridge,
looking for a mouse.
320
00:13:10,014 --> 00:13:11,161
Yeah, but why?
321
00:13:11,196 --> 00:13:12,708
Is it fun?
322
00:13:12,740 --> 00:13:15,309
Why is this mouse
such a big deal?
323
00:13:15,342 --> 00:13:17,756
I just want to
catch the mouse.
324
00:13:17,791 --> 00:13:20,542
- There's no greater significance to it.
- Oh.
325
00:13:22,082 --> 00:13:24,552
My childhood home had mice.
326
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:26,355
I thought nothing of it.
327
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,778
One day, my mate Daniel
spent the night,
328
00:13:28,813 --> 00:13:30,976
and he woke up to a mouse
chewing on his nipple.
329
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,260
- (sighs)
- From then on,
330
00:13:33,295 --> 00:13:35,438
everybody called me Mouse Boy.
331
00:13:35,473 --> 00:13:38,695
My dad, even... and it was
his disgusting house.
332
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,035
See, that's the thing
about my father...
333
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,336
Oh, God.
334
00:13:41,369 --> 00:13:43,839
EDGAR:
So then, in the next scene,
335
00:13:43,874 --> 00:13:45,739
Dorothy switched from
playing the pet shop owner
336
00:13:45,774 --> 00:13:47,537
to being one of the cats,
337
00:13:47,572 --> 00:13:50,979
and she coughed up
a giant hairball.
338
00:13:51,011 --> 00:13:52,680
It was so gross.
339
00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:55,496
VERNON: Oh, my God,
that's hilarious!
340
00:13:55,531 --> 00:13:57,415
Hey, Dorothy, you got
to teach me something.
341
00:13:57,450 --> 00:13:59,298
I bet I'd be real
good at improv.
342
00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:01,112
I once made a patient
laugh so hard,
343
00:14:01,147 --> 00:14:02,757
she peed all
over the table.
344
00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:03,960
I mean, she was 89,
345
00:14:03,995 --> 00:14:06,667
and her pelvic floor was wack,
but... yeah.
346
00:14:06,702 --> 00:14:07,587
DOROTHY:
Sure, okay.
347
00:14:07,622 --> 00:14:08,625
Um, we could start
348
00:14:08,660 --> 00:14:11,132
with a simple
mirroring exercise.
349
00:14:14,302 --> 00:14:17,171
So, pretend that
you're my reflection.
350
00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:18,474
Okay.
351
00:14:19,974 --> 00:14:22,253
No, mirror me.
352
00:14:22,288 --> 00:14:25,749
Ha! Can't fool me... everything's
backwards in a mirror.
353
00:14:25,784 --> 00:14:28,223
Eh, okay, um...
354
00:14:28,258 --> 00:14:30,084
LINDSAY:
Are you mad at me?
355
00:14:30,118 --> 00:14:31,708
No. Why?
356
00:14:31,743 --> 00:14:34,221
I just feel like we
had a connection...
357
00:14:34,254 --> 00:14:35,923
that was fun
and exciting.
358
00:14:35,956 --> 00:14:37,426
You know? Like...
359
00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:39,927
new and different and
full of possibilities,
360
00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:41,629
and now you're so busy.
361
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,492
I miss you.
362
00:14:43,527 --> 00:14:46,200
You should come hang out
with me and Dorothy sometime.
363
00:14:46,234 --> 00:14:48,470
VERNON: But I'm doing it
like in a mirror.
364
00:14:48,503 --> 00:14:49,667
Rando.
365
00:14:49,702 --> 00:14:50,990
I feel like you're
trying to trick me.
366
00:14:51,025 --> 00:14:52,574
- I absolutely am not.
- This is boring.
367
00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:54,676
I want to do a scene
where I get to be hilarious
368
00:14:54,711 --> 00:14:56,378
and talk in a funny voice.
Or be a lady.
369
00:14:56,413 --> 00:14:58,245
Hey, you want to do
an Avocadon't with me?
370
00:14:58,278 --> 00:14:59,449
Hell yeah.
What is that,
371
00:14:59,484 --> 00:15:01,392
like, things not to do
with an avocado?
372
00:15:01,427 --> 00:15:02,984
Yes, actually.
373
00:15:03,017 --> 00:15:04,600
I'll be right back.
374
00:15:04,635 --> 00:15:06,128
Psst. Hey.
375
00:15:06,163 --> 00:15:09,186
Listen, rando, slow your roll.
376
00:15:09,221 --> 00:15:10,565
Oh, my God, is this about Edgar?
377
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:11,955
I am so sorry. I had no idea
378
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:13,207
that you guys
were a thing.
379
00:15:13,242 --> 00:15:15,286
Because he has literally
never mentioned you.
380
00:15:15,321 --> 00:15:18,112
Well, he's kind of
my backup side bitch,
381
00:15:18,147 --> 00:15:19,491
and he likes it.
382
00:15:19,526 --> 00:15:20,476
So maybe just,
383
00:15:20,511 --> 00:15:23,304
like, respect that. 'Kay?
384
00:15:27,642 --> 00:15:30,512
Goddamn it, I heard it in here!
385
00:15:30,544 --> 00:15:33,886
Maybe you should summon it
with your Mouse Boy powers.
386
00:15:33,921 --> 00:15:35,386
(laughs)
387
00:15:35,421 --> 00:15:36,896
How much have you been drinking?
388
00:15:36,931 --> 00:15:38,397
I don't know, like, seven?
389
00:15:38,432 --> 00:15:39,741
What is going on with you?!
390
00:15:39,776 --> 00:15:42,023
The only thing going on with me
391
00:15:42,056 --> 00:15:44,741
is I am trying to make due
being stuck in this house,
392
00:15:44,776 --> 00:15:47,027
and you're obsessed
with this stupid mouse!
393
00:15:47,061 --> 00:15:49,064
I know, let's do shots.
394
00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:53,690
Oh, my God, we're
out of booze.
395
00:15:53,725 --> 00:15:55,435
Good. I think
you've had enough.
396
00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:57,605
You've had enough. Edgar!
397
00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,233
Edgar! We're out of booze.
398
00:16:00,268 --> 00:16:02,543
We'll make
a run later.
399
00:16:02,576 --> 00:16:05,112
M-Maybe Jimmy's right.
400
00:16:05,147 --> 00:16:05,725
Relax.
401
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,823
Relax? Says the guy
so riddled with anxiety
402
00:16:08,858 --> 00:16:10,965
he can't sleep through the
night without screaming!
403
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,096
Yes, well, uh, we all know
404
00:16:13,131 --> 00:16:15,562
that I'm taking
the prescribed steps to overcome
405
00:16:15,597 --> 00:16:17,799
the very common issues
caused by combat situations.
406
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:20,441
Ugh! We know.
You were in a war.
407
00:16:20,476 --> 00:16:21,437
Get over it!
408
00:16:21,472 --> 00:16:24,012
And while you're at it,
get over Lindsay.
409
00:16:24,047 --> 00:16:26,478
Have enough self-respect
not to focus on someone
410
00:16:26,513 --> 00:16:29,870
who's still clearly obsessed
with her lame, soft ex-husband.
411
00:16:29,903 --> 00:16:31,700
- (sets bottle down)
- This is really hard for me.
412
00:16:31,735 --> 00:16:33,959
Oh. "Waah.
413
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,010
"My husband left me
for a female him,
414
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:38,027
and now I can't function
in life. Waah!"
415
00:16:38,062 --> 00:16:39,806
(Dorothy laughing)
416
00:16:39,841 --> 00:16:41,416
Oh, and you!
417
00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:42,532
Theater girl!
418
00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:43,921
- Yes?
- Improv is
419
00:16:43,956 --> 00:16:45,886
the lowest form of comedy.
420
00:16:45,919 --> 00:16:47,974
That whole school of
yours is just a bunch
421
00:16:48,009 --> 00:16:50,018
of actors so janky-looking
422
00:16:50,053 --> 00:16:51,941
no one will write lines
for them,
423
00:16:51,976 --> 00:16:53,755
so you have
to make them up yourself.
424
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:56,755
- Aw, shit.
- You're what this town calls a tweener.
425
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:58,710
You're not hot enough
to be the lead,
426
00:16:58,745 --> 00:17:00,923
and not fat enough to
be the funny friend.
427
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:02,087
You already did me!
428
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,475
Do me, do me.
429
00:17:03,510 --> 00:17:05,406
- Not worth it.
- Aw, man.
430
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,267
Look, as spectacularly
entertaining as this is,
431
00:17:09,302 --> 00:17:10,473
maybe you should take
a breather.
432
00:17:10,508 --> 00:17:13,081
And then there's Jimmy.
433
00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:14,209
Aw, shit.
434
00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:15,927
No, seriously,
435
00:17:15,962 --> 00:17:18,654
Jimmy, I feel
such empathy for you,
436
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,863
being a writer.
437
00:17:20,898 --> 00:17:22,814
I mean, everyone
feels sorry for kids
438
00:17:22,849 --> 00:17:24,391
forced to work in
the diamond mines
439
00:17:24,424 --> 00:17:27,658
in Sierra Leone,
but where is the telethon
440
00:17:27,693 --> 00:17:29,598
for the noble writer?
441
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,127
Bravely drinking coffee,
442
00:17:32,162 --> 00:17:34,736
spilling his blood
to get his feelings out,
443
00:17:34,769 --> 00:17:38,118
filling two, maybe
three whole pages
444
00:17:38,153 --> 00:17:39,533
before his heroic effort
445
00:17:39,568 --> 00:17:42,385
is cut short by the desire
to watch Internet porn
446
00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:44,032
or get a snack!
447
00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:45,279
All of you!
448
00:17:45,313 --> 00:17:47,248
Sucking the air out of the room
449
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:50,536
with your self-pity-riddled
non-problems!
450
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:52,355
Except you, Vernon.
You got real issues.
451
00:17:52,390 --> 00:17:53,654
You're married to Becca.
452
00:17:53,688 --> 00:17:55,666
Ha! Vernon, ya burnt!
453
00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:59,440
This place is
an emotional black hole,
454
00:17:59,475 --> 00:18:00,979
and if it wasn't
for the runners...
455
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:02,882
yes, they have a name,
456
00:18:02,917 --> 00:18:06,331
they're not just "the people,"
you giant doofus...
457
00:18:06,366 --> 00:18:07,085
I would be driving
458
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,191
as fast as I could
away from you all!
459
00:18:09,226 --> 00:18:11,662
But I can't!
Because apparently,
460
00:18:11,697 --> 00:18:14,875
I live here now, due to
completely-beyond-my-control
461
00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:17,602
wiring issues for which
there will be a lawsuit.
462
00:18:17,637 --> 00:18:20,348
Yes! There will be a lawsuit!
463
00:18:20,381 --> 00:18:21,682
(sniffles)
464
00:18:21,715 --> 00:18:23,468
There will be no lawsuit.
465
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,961
- Mouse.
- We know!
466
00:18:24,996 --> 00:18:26,963
Mouse, mouse! We get it, Jimmy.
467
00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:28,662
No. The mouse!
468
00:18:28,697 --> 00:18:30,205
- (squeaking)
- (Gretchen screams)
469
00:18:38,252 --> 00:18:40,584
It's back, isn't it?
470
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,421
It's gonna be like
471
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:45,179
sophomore year when you wore
the same Hoobastank T-shirt
472
00:18:45,214 --> 00:18:48,545
three weeks in a row and only
ate Special K Red Berries?
473
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:52,455
Are you gonna tell Jimmy?
474
00:18:52,490 --> 00:18:55,553
(crying): No. I can't tell him
my brain is broken.
475
00:18:55,588 --> 00:18:58,395
Gretchen, you have never
476
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:01,734
been this much your
disgusting self around anyone.
477
00:19:01,769 --> 00:19:03,197
I would have killed
to let Paul in
478
00:19:03,232 --> 00:19:06,137
on all my gross secrets,
but I was too ashamed of them.
479
00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:08,615
Like how I like
to drink soy sauce.
480
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:11,174
Or how I once sucked
Malcolm-Jamal Warner's dick
481
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:12,285
at Barney's Beanery.
482
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,046
(sighs) Lindsay...
483
00:19:14,081 --> 00:19:16,818
If anyone's gonna be okay
with who you are, it's Jimmy.
484
00:19:16,853 --> 00:19:18,191
You guys went into this
both knowing
485
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:22,272
you're total creeps, so don't
start keeping secrets now.
486
00:19:22,307 --> 00:19:23,220
Wear your stains
487
00:19:23,255 --> 00:19:25,892
on the outsides
of your clothes, Gretch.
488
00:19:26,831 --> 00:19:29,357
Tell him.
489
00:19:29,392 --> 00:19:31,628
(quietly):
I can't.
490
00:19:39,230 --> 00:19:40,560
(mouse squeaking)
491
00:19:40,595 --> 00:19:42,949
Aw...
492
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,430
(squeaking)
493
00:19:47,465 --> 00:19:49,560
I think his leg
is broken.
494
00:19:49,595 --> 00:19:50,889
We have to put it
out of its misery.
495
00:19:50,924 --> 00:19:52,376
You want me to throw it
in the neighbor's yard?
496
00:19:52,411 --> 00:19:53,889
They got a couple
of hyper corgis.
497
00:19:53,924 --> 00:19:55,424
No, we should give him
a Viking funeral
498
00:19:55,459 --> 00:19:57,382
- in the reservoir.
- I'll just squash it.
499
00:19:57,417 --> 00:19:59,372
- OTHERS: No!
- Jesus.
500
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:00,190
No.
501
00:20:00,225 --> 00:20:04,263
As much as I hate mice
and everything they represent,
502
00:20:04,298 --> 00:20:06,351
this one put up a good fight.
503
00:20:06,633 --> 00:20:09,731
It deserves to die
as humanely as possible.
504
00:20:09,796 --> 00:20:11,798
- (engine idling)
- _
505
00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:24,712
Do you want
to improvise a eulogy?
506
00:20:26,791 --> 00:20:28,533
I'm afraid,
even though this speech
507
00:20:28,568 --> 00:20:31,835
is a little cheesy,
I Muenster continue.
508
00:20:31,870 --> 00:20:33,455
Gouda day, little guy.
509
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:34,991
Goddamn it, she's good.
510
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,504
So... yeah.
511
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,708
Uh...
(chuckles nervously)
512
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,032
I have a confession to make:
I have been drinking all day.
513
00:20:45,067 --> 00:20:47,648
But this is me
apologizing
514
00:20:47,683 --> 00:20:49,353
to you all...
515
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,951
I-Is the mouse
in that box?
516
00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:53,353
Shh.
517
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:56,009
Rocket ship to Heaven.
518
00:20:56,044 --> 00:20:56,555
VERNON:
How did we
519
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,553
barely even hang today?
I'm about to start
520
00:20:58,588 --> 00:21:00,593
my annual Arliss
re-watch. You in?
521
00:21:00,628 --> 00:21:02,464
- (groans)
- I'll FaceTime you.
522
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,481
I don't think your friends
like me very much.
523
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,649
What?! Of course they do.
524
00:21:10,684 --> 00:21:13,618
The only nice one was
that loud ginger dude.
525
00:21:13,653 --> 00:21:15,355
He isn't really
a doctor, is he?
526
00:21:15,390 --> 00:21:16,943
I-I like you.
527
00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:20,178
Well...
528
00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:21,805
(turns off engine)
that's that.
529
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,475
As Khalid always says,
"The circle of life."
530
00:21:25,510 --> 00:21:26,349
Hey, do you want
to get out of here?
531
00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:28,087
The marathon
should be over.
532
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,857
I mean, by this time,
there's still always, like,
533
00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:33,756
a blind guy
or a torso in the wheelchair,
534
00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:35,594
but they keep them to one lane.
535
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:37,177
- (trembling exhale)
- It's okay.
536
00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:40,431
The-the torsos usually have,
like, really devoted dads
537
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:43,065
who... push-push them.
538
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,307
What's going on with you?
539
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:49,572
Okay.
540
00:21:49,607 --> 00:21:53,212
So, here's an interesting thing
that you don't know about me.
541
00:21:53,244 --> 00:21:55,915
I am clinically depressed.
542
00:21:55,947 --> 00:21:57,347
(chuckles)
It's been going on
543
00:21:57,382 --> 00:22:00,619
my whole life, so I'm actually
really good at handling it.
544
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:03,671
Uh, it strikes me whenever,
and I have no idea why.
545
00:22:03,706 --> 00:22:06,131
But it's fine.
I'm sorry I never told you.
546
00:22:06,166 --> 00:22:07,417
Slipped my mind.
547
00:22:07,449 --> 00:22:08,659
And who knows,
548
00:22:08,694 --> 00:22:10,463
with the right attitude,
549
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:13,885
this could be a really fun
adventure for everyone.
550
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,571
So the only thing
551
00:22:14,606 --> 00:22:17,122
I need from you is
to not make a big deal of it,
552
00:22:17,157 --> 00:22:21,508
and be okay with how I am, and
the fact that you can't fix me.
553
00:22:23,848 --> 00:22:25,484
Can't I, though?
554
00:22:26,660 --> 00:22:28,464
I got that mouse.
555
00:22:29,059 --> 00:22:30,193
Yeah.
556
00:22:30,228 --> 00:22:31,964
557
00:22:42,991 --> 00:22:45,562
Poor old Ra,
you were much better off
558
00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:46,881
As a su...
559
00:22:46,916 --> 00:22:51,916
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
560
00:22:51,966 --> 00:22:56,516
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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